Addiction ~ Why Does It Ruin Some Lives & Not Others?

One of the biggest problems in society today is addiction. When we think of addiction, we are likely to look at homeless camps, and see the losses they have faced as outcomes of the bad choices they made. But the homeless camps are an end result, not the beginning. We might also ask ourselves, where does it begin?

The most simplistic break down of addiction is based on the reward centres in the brain. Like mice in a lab, we are quickly conditioned to seek reward instead of punishment. So once the substance or behaviour is rewarded, our brain quickly recognizes this and creates a pattern of reward seeking.

In many cases, or perhaps even most cases, addiction is a form of escapism, even if it is only temporary. But what many people do not realize, or refuse to acknowledge, is the number of different addictive substances or patterns we can be afflicted with.

The list of addictive attractions is a long one. It includes food, especially sugar, gambling, money, power and wealth. Yes collecting things is also an addiction. People are addicted to a myriad of substances and behaviours. It is the reason so many people will think they have found a solution, only to become addicted to another substance.

Opiate addiction is just one facet of drug addiction. Many people will have great disdain for a heroin addict, without realizing they are addicted too. If we lead outwardly normal lives, have a job and work hard, we are distanced from our addictive natures. If we have multiple resources, support systems, money and respect, we can easily deny addiction.

If we are truthful, we will acknowledge the addiction in our own lives and nature. Television, Internet, exercise, money, fame, prescription drugs, OTC drugs, alcohol, shopping, you name it. In fact, those who are not addicted to something, are probably the minority.

In my opinion, addiction and an addictive personality require insight followed by management and change. Some addictions are not as harmful as others. Some people can manage an addiction for years without falling into a death trap. Others go downhill very quickly.

One of the key awareness raising objectives is to assess whether or not the addiction is killing you or potentially someone else. Therefore addiction that causes overdoses, brain injury, other physical injury, violence, crime, or severe intoxication –  is clearly the most dangerous trap to fall into. It quickly becomes a cycle of despair, and the person loses the ability to self regulate. The substance becomes more important than life itself.

It does surprise me that prescription drugs are seldom reported in the news as an addiction issue, yet there are many powerfully addictive prescription drugs. We still live in a society that will condemn marijuana and list it as addictive, without creating a proper scale of addictive substances, with this one being near the bottom. Why is it less of a problem than what they claim? It does not cause severe withdrawal, and does not cause increasing levels of intoxication. It also does not require increasing amounts to get the same results, and does not cause movement disorders like so many other drugs do. There is no way it can be classified as a narcotic, because it does not have the properties of a narcotic. If a person overdosed on marijuana, would Narcan reverse it? The answer is no.

But, like everything else, marijuana can be a problem. The 1970’s low to medium potency flower is probably not addictive by itself, or the least addictive of all, as long as it is not used in conjunction with anything else. But the very high potency strains, and things like shatter, where potent levels of THC are extracted using a blow torch – then yes it definitely can be unsafe. In my opinion the edibles, candies, and high potency extractions, have the potential to make it dangerous. In addition, if it is combined with other drugs, such alcohol, or prescription drugs, it is probably a bad idea, and most certainly will contribute to putting it in the addictive class.

Therefore, if we were to create an honest scale of the hazards caused by addictive substances, certainly fentanyl, heroin, meth, cocaine, alcohol, and tobacco might top the list. Truthfully though, many prescription drugs are lethal, and contribute to mortality far more than we will ever know, because the media does not report this cause of death accurately. How many secretive addictions are there in the form of prescription drugs, and hidden obsessive behaviours? Far more than we realize, because we look at what is at the bottom of the barrel, not the top of it.

Drugs like Valium and a litany of other benzodiazepines, which are classified as minor tranquilizers have been know to cause severe addictions, with years of tapering just to get off them. The SSRI’s were seen as a method to change chemical imbalances in the brain. Yet there never has been any type of scientific method to measure chemical imbalances in the brain, so how can they make the claim? The SSRI’s like all other psychoactive medications, lead to an increased need for the drug to get the same effect. After awhile many people report feeling like a zombie with no emotional range at all.

Obesity is another killer, yet do we have someone standing guard at the supermarket when we buy our food? How depressing is it to struggle with food addiction? It can be a constant obsession, as well as a very outward and visible cause for shaming.

Shame – ah yes that could be the crux of it all. If we do not have a serious enough addiction to be living on the street, we must be okay. Or so we tell ourselves. We all want to believe we are better than someone else. We are more intelligent, harder working, better educated. But if we could see how impoverished the soul of the person is, they may fare no better than the person on the street.

Many famous people who are often seen as the epitome of success, talent, and accomplishment – will not find happiness as a result of their success. Often they are in despair too.

Addiction is an effort to cope with or escape pain. Whether it is physical or emotional pain, is irrelevant. We have to admit our own fallibilities first and foremost. We tend to judge others, yet we don’t do an honest appraisal of what we need to change in our own life.

Addiction recovery is a long road. For some of us, there may be substitute addictions in the process, and no way of shaking off the addictive personality type, or the early childhood trauma that contributes to it.

Addiction creates an energy of its own. It is an attempt to fill a void with a substance or a solution that cannot fill the void, but rather carves a deeper hole. Before long, you have to climb out of that hole, before you can deal with the demons that put you there in the first place.

Some people can manage their addictions, however it is a significant risk if the addictive substance is also physiologically addictive. It takes many months or years to improve the gut bacteria, and regulate the dopamine levels in the brain. In addition, the emotional, psychological and spiritual factors also have to be faced, dealt with and forgiven.

There is a strong genetic link, and an even stronger trauma link, causing this catastrophic loss of human potential. The intergenerational cycles cannot be overlooked, if we ever hope to find a cure.

Our judgement leads to shame. The more shame is increased, the greater the loss of human dignity. But at the same time, as adults, we do have to look after ourselves and our surroundings. If there is a loss of motivation, the energy within the person loses all interest in maintaining their health and surroundings. It is not really laziness because even a causal observer can see the life on the streets is a hard one.

Shame increases the psychological distance between people. Just as the rich create a distance of obvious superiority and rule over the poor, shame increases distancing as well. Therefore, the rich are less likely to admit to having addictions, yet they may be key contributors to the overall cause. They might be addicted to power, yet are shaming the person who is addicted to opiates. At the end of the day, addiction humbles us. The arrogant will be humbled some day. Perhaps their arrogance is one of the greatest barriers of all. The more power and influence a person has, the more responsibility. Those who abuse power, are the most culpable, even though they live lavish lifestyles. They won’t take the money with them when they go. But they will take the legacy they leave, and it will not be hidden forever.

Even a life of crime to feed the addiction, requires a great deal of energy. If only the energy could be converted or directed toward productivity instead, there would not be so much chaos and mess associated with addiction. Addiction to intoxicating drugs, including alcohol, causes people to do what they normally would not do. There is an underlying desperation as well. They are driven to get the drug, in a way that robs better judgement. Loss of judgement, and disinhibition leads to all kinds of outlandish and irresponsible behaviour.

Possession of drugs of any kind, for personal use, including hard drugs with high toxicity, are now legalized. We might not agree with it, but it is reality. There comes a point where addicted people can no longer take care of themselves, because of the effects of the drugs on the brain and central nervous system.

Each person has to come to terms with their own addiction, in order to overcome it. Otherwise, it is a constant treadmill. We can create order in our lives. We can create structure, cleanliness, organization, divergent hobbies, a proper diet, and let those activities of daily living overtake the negatives. Even something as mundane as creating a daily to do list, can increase dopamine levels and motivation.

We overcome by doing. We have to do things each day to increase orderliness, which in turn gives our soul some stability and security. Many of us cannot survive an addiction to opiates, alcohol, or psychoactive prescription drugs, without abstinence. Some people can achieve stability while still using the addictive substance. Others cannot. It probably goes back to how extensive the genetic, familial patterns, and trauma are ingrained in the person’s neurochemistry and psyche.

One thing does stand out though. Judge not – lest ye be judged. I have read through many of the comments following the death of actress Ann Heche. It does appear she had addiction issues, because she spoke about them openly. But more importantly, she had deep spiritual issues as well. She had what most would describe as psychosis at a fairly early age.

Ann Heche herself described an alter ego or inner personality she called Celestia where she thought she was the half sister of Jesus, and the reincarnation of God. This is probably where the deepest turbulence and disturbance originated. The news claimed she had cocaine in her system, so she may have had a psychotic break while she was driving, thinking she was being chased by demons or aliens.

No one knows what another person is going through. Ann Heche could have committed suicide. She might have been unable to face the prospect of growing old and losing her looks, glamour and fame. Whatever the cause, it was fatal, and tragic, because she was a talented actress with a troubled spirit and soul. Addiction is no respecter of persons. We do not know her background, because even though she claimed her father raped her, it does not appear he was ever charged. If a child was raped at an early age, one would think it would be reported to the authorities. Molestation might not be as obvious, but the rape of a child does show provable signs of trauma, and is seldom overlooked.

Our grandfather was a pedophile, and raised his own family on a hog farm in the middle of nowhere, during the depression era. Yet in spite of the isolation, his crimes against his own children did get reported, and he was charged and sent to jail. He was released after a five year sentence, let out, and reoffended. So he was sent back to jail. This type of history does corroborate familial abuse beyond a shadow of a doubt, because it is based on established evidence.

I can relate to having a traumatic background as a child. By itself that was more than enough to try and cope with. But the worst of it was being dominated and brainwashed by a cultish high school teacher, who made the absurd and false claim to be adopting me, when I was never up for adoption, and was just months away from graduating. The teacher colluded with my older brother, and so the trauma, abuse, secrecy, and oppressive cover over the truth of our childhood, has never been resolved or reconciled. I was scapegoated. The religious aspect of the teacher abuse at the age I was, and under the circumstances, followed and plagued my life beyond description.

Whatever the truth of Ann Heche’s background might be, it was definitely a troubled one. Her brother died by crashing his car into a tree, and a sister died of cancer. The family was deeply religious, yet whatever doctrine they followed, did not lead to forgiveness or healing. One thing I did learn from becoming a target of religious abuse, is that it lasts much longer than every other kind of abuse. It is very difficult to sort out, and even more difficult to comprehend the family betrayal it is conjoined with.

We walk a fine line, and for those of us who do manage to overcome very traumatic early lives, all we can ever say is “by the grace of God go I”. There is no other explanation. Therefore, to me it is clear that only God can heal us. Only in hindsight, once free of the shame, fear, cloud of deception, and spiritual wounds, could I see how damaging the teacher relationship was. We need Jesus, not a domineering teacher daddy-god, and cult to mess up our minds.

I was lucky I did not develop a serious mental illness, psychosis or suicide, trying to cope with the teacher lies. He was denying and shaming who I was, and where I came from, using physical, psychological, and spiritual dominance to force a fake and long lasting relationship. I kept telling him to leave me alone. I did not even like the guy. It was something he contrived, defined and laid out in his repetitious lies, which he conveyed as gospel truth. He would not take no for an answer. In fact, he was the last thing I needed on the heels of a traumatic childhood. It took a very long time before I saw him as the opportunistic predator I now view him to be. I was shamed out of my own cognition. I do find it much easier to forgive family members, as opposed to an opportunistic predator in a public school.

The best I can do when it comes to forgiving the teacher, is to not wish him harm. As far as forgiving him deep down, and sincerely, I hope God forgives me for not fully forgiving the guy. When we are told to pray for those who persecute us, I would sometimes pray “bless him with a slap upside the head, and help him to see the error of his ways”. Bring some wrath upon him, so he might repent and admit wrongdoing. If not, guess where the teacher is headed? I have to say, I honestly don’t care if he goes to hell. One day his bubble will burst. But I do care for my family members, and pray they will not follow in his footsteps.

In the process of healing our past, our spirit and soul, we have to be very careful to discern the religious evil in this world. When we are young, we are naive. All through my life, I struggled against it, without realizing what it was. For the longest time, I thought I was trapped due to the family of origin trauma, and the tragic deaths of close family members. With healing, those deaths are not viewed as so tragic, because they brought good to my world, and I know I will see them again. So when I started to get free of the compounded grief, I finally saw the origin, or the wolf that was eating my soul. Of all the trauma in my life, the religious faux-Christian teacher topped them all.

I do hope Ann Heche cried out to God, and was saved in her final hours of life. We don’t know what she went through, and can only hope her suffering was short lived.

Perhaps the greatest poignancy of sadness surrounding the family, is that her mother has outlived her husband, and four of her five children. I can honestly say, I would not want to be in her shoes. To have two children die by suicide, or as a result of loss of value for their own lives – does not seem like she fostered a stable home life, let alone a Christian one.

If there is a core or crux of the cause, in my own estimation, I would conclude addiction stems from early childhood trauma and familial abuse, especially rejection and betrayal. It is not just coming from the knock ’em down hillbillies drunk on moonshine, that creates trauma for children. It might also be the overly strict perfectionist with a perfect outward life, but lacking in empathy or the expression of love. It could be a workaholic father whose career supersedes all else. One child might be able to manage it, but another with a different disposition, might not be able to.

When we are betrayed or rejected by a family member, what they are basically saying is that their life matters, and ours does not. We are sacrificed, in order to create an advantage for them. This goes against natural affection, which is difficult to reconcile. It is also one of the key components of relationship break down as described in end times prophesies.

“In the last days . . . men shall be . . . without natural affection” (2 Timothy 3:1-3). There are the only two occurrences of this word in the New Testament. The word stergeo (“natural affection”) is one of four Greek words for love. It refers to the natural love that members of the same family have for each other.”

Too often, these familial deficits carry over into the next generation, to create a rippling effect that causes the strife associated with addiction to fester endlessly. In some cases it morphs into problems too deep to contemplate. We need some distance from it. We definitely need boundaries. But we don’t need, or want the “us against them” polarizations, or the scapegoating, or the gulf that separates us from each other if the boundaries turn into steel walls.

No matter who we are, if we are not sorry – we probably should be.

Only God knows our hearts. We cannot know what is in the heart, or future of another human being. When it comes to addiction, as it is with all things in life, we have to examine our own hearts and lifestyles. Although this advice may take a long time to sink in, we are to be sober and watchful. There is so much going on, we are like prey for the wolves if we don’t pay attention.

We are best to repent, forgive, and trust God. There really is no other way out of the mess.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.