Christians have been thrust into multiple different teachings, especially when it comes to end times teaching, or eschatology. Although I do not like to attach labels to our Christian belief systems, there are some very important distinctions to be made, and the labels already exist, so we might as well sort them out for ourselves.
Personally I reject all the eschatological belief systems, with the exception of historic premillennialism. It represents the beliefs of the original church fathers, adhering to covenant theology, without any hint of the pre-tribulation false rapture doctrine.
This is what was believed by the people who were present during the significant historical biblical timelines. After Christ was crucified, the Apostles were left to preach, and spread the truth of the gospel. The early church leaders were privy to those teachings.
The Darby inspired dispensational belief system, is a different doctrine in multiple ways, and is not limited to falsehoods in just end times eschatology. Darby and Scofield rewrote the entire bible, and advanced a different doctrine into innumerable mainstream churches.
Darby divided the bible into seven dispensations, and added a range of false teachings, mixing it with the truth contained in the original bible. When truth is mixed with falsehood, people are more inclined to believe all of it is true. If they see elements of truth, they assume the rest of it is true. It is a common practice of skillful deceivers.
Some people believe Darby was a brilliant man, offering teachings with a more comprehensive, and concise scope. Although I do not know his true motives, or his ultimate destiny, I do not think for one moment all his deceptions were unintentional, or mild deviations from biblical truths. The ramifications of this false teaching is extensive, and in my opinion, it is a wicked doctrine. There is far more to it than meets the eye.
It seems people literally get blinded to the truth when they become steeped in dispensationalism. They confuse stubborn adherence to false doctrine with faith. They refuse to repent, and are arrogantly self assured. They are uncharitable, and more concerned with Sunday services, and superficial appearances, than they are with seeking the truth. Like modern day Pharisees.
It took a long time before I realized the error of my own ways, and beliefs. I am humbled beyond description. Not only in all the ways I have nearly stumbled into the abyss, been foolish, been angry, off-track, reacted emotionally, and failed those I love the most. But also, in naively believing all Christians essentially believe the same things. I was mistaken. We do not all believe the same teachings at all. There are many false prophets in this world.
Along with Scofield, and many other false teachers, dispensationalists built on these concepts, in oder to establish a form of Christian Zionism. Scofield added hundreds of his own footnotes to the Scofield bible, many of them were so far-fetched, it is a wonder they even published them.
Therefore, the differences between historic premillennialism, and dispensational beliefs, are profoundly significant.
Like most cultish deceptions, dispensationalism has some similarities with the original bible, but are not based on the same foundational doctrinal beliefs at all. Anyone who is sincere about seeking the truth, must differentiate between all the errant belief systems, and false teaching.
Historic or traditional premillennialism, is the belief that Christians will meet Christ in the air during the second coming. Then together, we will return to the earth for the millennial reign of Christ, which is described as a thousand years or peace and prosperity. Not in the clouds, or in heaven, but right here on earth.
Historic premillennialism does not support the belief in the separation of Israel, nor does it support the belief there will be a secret rapture of the church, prior to a seven year tribulation period. In fact, historic premillennialism does not adhere to a seven year tribulation belief at all.
For those who believe in the bible, it is a good idea to examine what it says, to be sure we are not listening to false teachers. The bible does not say there will be a secret return of Christ to rapture the believers. Christ does not return three times. The bible says the return of Christ will be a spectacular event. There will be nothing secret about it. If the church or body of believers are the bride of Christ, why would they miss the most incredible and long awaited event in the history of the world? In order to escape tribulation?
This is an example of how prone we are to accept wishful thinking, even if it is not supported in the scriptures. Why are we so gullible? People often listen to what they are told during Sunday sermons, and take it as gospel truth, instead of delving into the truth of the bible for themselves.
The primary reason this deception is so well received, is because of fear. We are to have faith, not fear. And we are not to be cowardly, even though the events as described in the Book of Revelation might seem like something we would want to avoid. The bible says “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
In the original bible, it is well documented, and understood that all people, especially Christians, will face tribulation during our lifetimes. As we get closer to the end times, the tribulation for all people increases dramatically until Christ returns. We do not expect to escape tribulation, anymore than the early Christians, or the Apostles escaped tribulation.
Most importantly of all, Christ did not escape tribulation. Although Christ was without sin, and each of us carries a burden of sin, our lives are a reflection of the forgiveness, redemption, sanctification, and ultimate resurrection, gifted to us by the grace of God.
There are numerous hidden deceptions contained in the dispensational premillennialism. Most people who are indoctrinated with this false version of biblical teaching do not even realize it. The implications are very deep rooted, and have given rise to the parable of the wheat and the tares, as described in Matthew 13:24-43.
Dispensationalism is also part of the end times apostasy, or falling away from sound doctrine, as is described in the bible, so we know that we must be very careful to avoid being deceived. This particular doctrine was only introduced, and embraced by churches beginning in 1830, which in the entire history, and timeline of the bible, is a relatively new teaching.
During the same time frame in the 1800’s, there was a rise in cult doctrines to include Mormonism, Seventh Day Adventism, and Jehovah Witnesses. Mormonism, with false doctrine introduced by Joseph Smith, began in very close proximity to the time Darby created dispensationalism.
Seventh Day Adventism is a false doctrine created by Ellen White in 1863. The Jehovah Witness doctrine was created and advanced by Charles Russell in the late 1800’s. Initially they were called Russellites (1852-1916), but changed their name to Jehovah Witness in 1931, because they had been caught up in what was known as the miracle wheat scandal.
The miracle wheat scandal brought disrepute to Charles Russel, which was published in many major newspapers. It involved charges of libel, and a government investigation. Therefore they opted to change their name to Jehovah Witness, to hide the fact they were charged with fraud.
After the name change, they advanced a very determined system of recruitment, involving door knocking, and massive amounts of propaganda, to advance their numbers, and to spread the false doctrinal beliefs.
Some people invited JW’s into their homes, and argued for hours, to try and change their way of thinking. Others, often bored or lonely housewives did get taken in, and caused much strife in their families when they joined the cult. And others, like myself, peeked through a window, saw the prim looking strangers, in the standard attire of dark, formal looking clothing, and ignored them, until they went away.
In all of these cases involving the invention of cult doctrines, they extrapolated many truths from the original bible, and then altered the narrative to suit various belief systems that are not part of the original bible. Scofield as a human being, had a terrible reputation. Ellen White, in some of her writings was charged with plagiarism, and in other cases, she came across as being blatantly psychotic.
Frequently the cultish belief systems involved date setting, giving specific dates on the return of Christ, even though it is made very clear in the original bible that no one knows the date of Christ’s return. When the dates they set, did not turn out to be true prophecy, they made some excuse, and carried on, maintaining a large group of loyal followers, in spite of the many contradictions.
People become entrenched in cults for a variety of reasons. Much of it is tied to familial entrapments. Countless people remain in cults, because they are afraid of losing their social structure, as well as being shunned and rejected by their own family. Often jobs and livelihoods are tied to these strong cultish infiltrations as well. So it makes the stakes even higher to leave, or go against a powerful and influential leader.
Leaving or breaking free of a cult, creates a great deal of fear, confusion, and a major stumbling block to people’s faith, and search for the truth. The power of family, and fear of rejection, is a huge detriment for those born into cults, or forced into cults by more powerful family members, and leaders. For this reason, the bible wisely tells us not to put anyone ahead of Christ, and the true gospel.
Clearly in the cases of all cults, they were developed by men and/or women who developed delusions, or illusions of grandeur. Those who established cults were governed by a galaxy of crossed motives, to include strong delusions, and prideful self exaltation.
Obviously, a high percentage of them are motivated by lust, greed, power, and control. They want money, they will molest children, and they will try to control the minds, and actions of their followers to the smallest details. They want to take the place of God, in the lives of other people. It is really just a replication of what Satan tried to do.
The list goes on and on, when it comes to the various cult leaders who gained a following, to include Mary Baker Eddy who started the Christian Science religion in the early 1900’s, Jim Jones in the mid 1950’s, the Moonies or the Unification Church in the mid 1950’s, Daughters of God in 1832, and many others, often with catastrophic outcomes.
Once people are embroiled in, indoctrinated, and brainwashed by these organizations, it can take years to overcome all the levels of deception. They typically rip families apart, and leave a travesty of broken people in their wake.
This article does not touch upon the Catholic church system, although it too, does not follow traditional biblical belief systems, and inserts many falsehoods into the teachings. However, the Catholic church has been around a very long time, established around 30 A.D. They too, are symbolically tied to the dragon in the Book of Revelation
The other belief systems that can confuse people, are a-millennialism, and post-millennialism. A-millennialism is the belief that there is no literal millennial reign of Christ, as described in Revelation, and several other books of the bible.
Instead, they believe this concept represents a figurative reign, or spiritual condition. They believe the millennial reign began when Christ was here, and represents the entire church age. To get past the fact that Christ was here 2000 years ago, they simply claim the thousand year reign, just means a very long time.
Many of them also believe Satan is already bound. When questioned about all the craziness, violence, and addiction in the world today, they explain it away by saying, Satan is bound, but is still allowed to have some influence. I find this point of view to be anti-biblical, and nonsensical too. But to each his own.
The post-millennial point of view is equally as implausible. This belief system claims we are currently in the millennial reign of Christ. Supposedly it is a time where the Christian ethics prosper, and everything becomes wonderful and blissful. If it has not happened yet, well it just takes a very long time.
Clearly, such a construct is not happening in the world as we know it, by any stretch of the imagination. Nor can Christians bring about the changes required, in order to bring about peace in this world. We have already been given a very long time to accomplish this, and have failed miserably.
In fact, the bible tells us in many places that things will get worse, not better, until Christ returns. Once again, this is a doctrine placing the focus on man, not Christ. We can pretty much see where such a fallacy will lead us.
Even though there are some very long-winded, and convincing arguments to support some of these belief systems, we are instructed repeatedly, to examine and test these beliefs, based on what the bible actually says.
The only position I will take, since I have examined some of these other belief systems, is that of historic premillennialism. I believe there will be a thousand year reign, as described in the Book of Revelation. I do not believe Satan is currently bound, because even though we know God has power over all of creation, including Satan, he is not bound yet. He is freely roaming the earth to wreak havoc, and deceive people, as usual.
When Christ returns, Satan will be bound, and locked up, so he cannot harm people, or deceive the nations for the thousand year period. This allows a period of healing, peace, safety, learning, and understanding God’s way, as it was originally intended to be in the Garden of Eden.
It also represents a period of rest for the earth, and the people who are living on earth. It stands to reason this period of rest will occur, after a period of around six thousand years of history.
It aligns with the description that with God, a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as a day. I believe this gives us a hint, knowing all creation was done in six days, and on the seventh day God rested. So it makes sense this period of rest and restoration is on the horizon, because according to Genesis, people have been here around six thousand years.
One of the most perplexing developments in the end times scenario, is that after Satan is bound for a thousand years, he is let loose for awhile, and deceives the nations again.
We already know the millennial reign is a period of time where Christ rules as King, with a rod of iron, therefore it is hard to understand how or why this could happen. It is one of the great mysteries yet to unfold, and in time, we will understand it better.
Some preachers attribute this development to man’s sinful nature, which causes masses of people to rebel against God during the thousand year reign. But if that is the case, it would not be a peaceful period of time, because people would soon resort to their old ways of violence, dominance, and deception. So it must occur after or at the end of the millennial reign of Christ.
In re-reading what it says in Revelation, I believe the release of Satan, the final deception and battle, takes place after the millennial reign. In a sense, it is like a recap, and ultimate clash between good and evil, thus eliminating all the possibilities for any future Satanic deceptions, or conflicts between good and evil.
In the Garden of Eden, they lived in a perfect and beautiful world, but they were still tempted and deceived by Satan. The bible says once he is let loose, he will deceive the nations again. Therefore, even though people are still prone to being deceived and following Satan, I think it probably takes place at the end of, and not during the millennial reign.
I also wondered if when Satan is released, his followers, including one third of the angels who chose to follow him, might also be released for this final battle. Once he does deceive the nations again, and gather more followers, God intervenes, and they are finally destroyed, once and for all.
This all happens just before the Great White Throne of Judgement, after which the new earth and new Jerusalem are ushered in. This is the true eternity, where God comes down from heaven to live with His people.
The description of the new earth, and the new Jerusalem, is quite different than the earth during the millennial reign. There will be no night, and there will be no sea. The descriptions are more dazzling than we can even conceive of now. It is truly too incredible to fully grasp.
None of us really understands all of God’s plans, because we are simply not capable. It serves to reinforce why we must have faith, and trust in God’s scope and power over all things. After all, He is the creator of all things, and knows the beginning from the end, and the end from the beginning. We were given the bible to help instruct us, and show us the truth.
It does make sense to me that there will be a millennial reign of Christ on earth. It will be a time of restoration and peace, as well as truly learning the way, the truth and the life, as promised in the gospels. The bible tells us the earth will be full of the knowledge of God. We will finally understand science, even though the secular world would scoff at such a notion.
It will be a time of preparation for the next phase. There will be so much to learn, and even more to unlearn, because like it or not, we have all been deceived throughout our lifetimes. I will readily admit – I am no exception.
It will be a time to get ourselves planted in our roles, and purpose, as well as to develop the ability to discern truth from deception, because our servitude to Christ will be tested when Satan is released again.
As I have sorted some of these things out in my own mind, and examined the various different beliefs, what I believe to be true, does make sense. There are many mysteries, and many things I do not understand. But God’s promises, hope, grace, love, mercy, and ultimate triumph over corruption and death, is truly remarkable.
The key takeaway is – do not put your trust in man, or any manmade deviations from the true gospel. Put your trust in God. Jesus, is the only one who has the power to save us from a certain death.
Eternity is a very long time.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Pilgrim’s Progress is an allegorical dream sequence referred to as theological fiction. It is truly a great work, written by a Puritan pastor who faced persecution for preaching the gospel during the 17th century.
It is well worth reading, or listening to, as it is rich in metaphor, and filled with the trials and tribulations of a Christian traveller. It chronicles life’s choices, and subsequent adversities, both internally and externally, as we make our way to our final destination. Recently, I listened to the audio book, and found the dramatic interpretation as read by someone else, to be even better than reading it.
The Pilgrim’s Progress depicts the journey of a man named Christian, and demonstrates just how much has to be overcome in the entire odyssey of life.
I found it interesting to note, that he did not come across a character called Grief in his travels. But grief is something we will all encounter, and is often one of the most devastating emotions of all human experiences.
In the story, the main character Christian, is anxious, ashamed, and has a massive burden on his back. The burden is so heavy, he fears it will cause him to sink into hell.
In an attempt to get free of the shame and burden, he decides to leave the City of Destruction, which is filled with evil and sin. He is advised by Evangelist to go to the Wicket Gate, and head for the Celestial City. He cannot see the gate, but is told to look for the shining light.
Initially, Christian sets off with a companion named Pliable, and before long, they fall into the Slough of Despond. A character named Obstinate has followed them, and tries to convince them to go back. With much difficulty, Pliable manages to crawl out of the pond, but is thoroughly discouraged, and follows Obstinate’s advice, and heads back to the City of Destruction.
Christian, due to the heavy burden on his back, sinks in the slough, and cannot get himself out. A man called Help comes and pulls him out. He carries on his journey, and soon comes across Mr. Worldly Wise Man, and gets some secular advice. The worldly wise man instructs him to seek the advice of Mr. Legality, and his son Civility in the village of Morality.
He heads to the mountain where they live, but it towers over him, has fire shooting out of it, and threatens to crush him.
Evangelist intervenes, and tells him to forget it, they are frauds. He advises Christian to stick to the path taking him to the Wicket Gate. To get to the straight and narrow, he must get on The King’s Highway, but then he encounters Beelzebub, who shoots at him with arrows.
A character named Goodwill saves him from Beelzebub, and tells him about Jesus. Christian tells Goodwill about the heavy burden he has been carrying. Goodwill directs him to the place of Deliverance.
From there, Christian makes his way to the House of Interpreters, who show him many things, to signify a Christian life, and the importance of faith. Finally Christian reaches the place of Deliverance. At last, the straps holding his heavy pack break and fall away into an open tomb, or sepulchre.
Then three angels visit him, to greet him, and give him peace. They provide new garments, and a scroll, which is a passport to the Celestial City.
Encouraged by his new found freedom, and his assurance of getting to his destination, he encounters more struggles. As he carries on, he comes across Simple, Sloth, and Presumption. Christian tries to talk to them, and help them, but they will have nothing to do with him.
Then he gets to the Hill of Difficulty, and meets two well dressed false Christians named Hypocrisy, and Formality. They were haughty, and sure of themselves, and were certain they knew the way to go. Before long, both of them end up perishing in two dangerous bypasses called Danger and Destruction.
Christian, weary from his travels, falls asleep in the arbour above the hill, and later, realizes he has lost his passport into the Celestial City, so he must retrace his steps to find it.
He comes across Timorous, and Mistrust who tell him about a den of lions on the way to Palace Beautiful. He manages to avoid the lions, and is then told by the Watchful Porter that they are chained, and are there to test his faith.
When he gets to the top of the Hill of Difficulty, he stays at the place called Palace Beautiful for three days. It is a place built by God for pilgrims on their journey, in order to replenish and refresh them. While there, he is told to put on the full armour of God (Ephesians 6: 11-18) to get him through the upcoming battle.
He ends up travelling into the Valley of Humiliation, and finds himself face to face with the great dragon Apollyon, who he battles for a half a day. Finally he is able to stab him with his two edged sword from the armour of God he put on earlier. The dragon flees.
Before long it is nightfall, and Christian ends up in the Valley of The Shadow of Death, where it is dark, terrifying and full of demons. He hears a character named Faithful read the twenty third Psalm: “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
When he leaves the valley of the shadow of death, much to his relief, the sun is shining. He meets Faithful who he knows from the former City of Destruction. Together the two of them go to a place called Vanity Fair. It is designed by Beelzebub, and is filled with lust, and all manner of temptations at the Fair. Both Faithful and Christian have disdain for such things.
Faithful is put on trial there and is executed, which transports him immediately to the Celestial City as a martyr. Christian then finds another companion called Hopeful. They end up facing much more adversity as they continue on their travels.
They try to take a shortcut, but end up being captured by Giant Despair, and his wife Diffidence, known for their cruelty and torture. They are then locked in the Doubting Castle where they are beaten and starved.
The Giant and his cruel wife want them to commit suicide. They are so beaten down, they are tempted to do so. Finally, Christian realizes he has a key called Promise, which fits into the keyholes of the locked dungeon. So they manage to escape.
As they get closer to their destination, on the Delectable Mountain, they meet the Good Shepherds. Finally through the Eyeglass of Perspective, they can look through it, and see the Celestial City.
Even though they are getting closer, they are warned not to be deceived. They meet the Flatterer, and follow him, being led astray until they see an angel who they think is the shining one, but they are deceived, and soon get stuck in a snare.
A true angel frees them from the snare, and puts them back on course with a stern warning. They then meet Atheist who mocks them, and tells them Heaven and God do not exist. They ignore him, and carry on.
They pass by a character called Wanton Professor who is chained by seven demons. There is a ferocity of vile projections, and then the Professor takes a shortcut to the Lake of Fire.
Next they meet a man named Ignorance, who is convinced he will be taken to the Celestial City because of his many good deeds, instead of as a gift, by the grace of God.
Christian and Hopeful try to convince Ignorance that he cannot get to the Celestial City on his own merit. Nevertheless, he insists on going his own way, and takes the perilous ferry of Vain Hope over The River of Death.
When Ignorance finally makes it to the Celestial City, he has no passport, and is denied entrance. He had not travelled the King’s Highway in order to get there. The angels took him away to hell.
Christian and Hopeful, almost there, still had to go through the Enchanted Ground, a place which made them very tired and sleepy, but they knew if they fell asleep there, they would never wake up.
They too, have to cross the River of Death, and they finally make it to the Celestial City, where they are welcomed, and allowed in.
Even though this is a Christian based allegorical story written in the 1600’s, it does give an indication of the struggles, difficulties, pitfalls, snares, and battles we all have to endure.
Too many times, we think, or expect things to be easy, or to go through life without falling into the pit of destruction. But on many levels, the journey as described in the Pilgrims Progress, is closer to what it is really like, especially for the addict.
Christian’s final companion on his journey to the Celestial City was Hopeful. I think John Bunyan was quite right to make Hopeful the strongest ally, and friend to help him reach his destination.
Opiates are dangerous. They have been used for thousands of years, and have a legitimate role in short term pain management, and palliative care. But they are also highly addictive, and have claimed millions of lives. In fact, entire civilizations have collapsed as a result of widespread opiate use.
Many people believe in the concept of safe supply, which means people use prescribed government sanctioned opiates from legitimate pharmacies, as opposed to risking the opiates on the streets, without knowing for sure what is in them. Millions of pills that look exactly like OxyContin, Percocet, or Xanax, are laced with lethal doses of fentanyl.
Fentanyl is a synthetic opiate made in clandestine labs in Mexico, Columbia, China, and more recently, one was located in BC, Canada where police discovered 25 kg of pure fentanyl. That is enough fentanyl to kill several thousand people.
In addition to lacing pills, and other street drugs with fentanyl, it has also become a risk factor for cannabis to be laced with fentanyl. This dramatically increases the risk for all people, including those who use cannabis for medical reasons. It places millions of young people at even greater risk.
Did legalization really increase the safety of cannabis? Prior to legalization, there was no such thing as cannabis overdose. But now with very high concentrations of THC in candies, lollipops, shatter, and other doctored cannabis products, it is no longer a matter of mild-mannered 1970’s home grown weed.
Cannabis no longer resembles what it used to be. In recent years, children, dogs, and seniors have suffered from cannabis overdoses. The unnaturally high, and potentially toxic amounts of THC can also place vulnerable people at risk for psychosis, especially if combined with alcohol or other drugs. With the potential introduction of fentanyl into certain cannabis products, it means the only safe way to use it is to grow it yourself.
No class of opiates are entirely safe, because even prescription opiates can lead to fatal overdoses, if taken too frequently, or in conjunction with drugs that potentiate their effects. Plus when people become addicted to prescription opiates, it is not long before they will turn to street drugs, to seek a stronger high, or when they can no longer get prescriptions. Once addicted, better judgement goes out the window. In fact – it flies off a mountain top, until the poor person crashes on the rocks below.
Fentanyl is fifty times stronger than heroin, and a hundred times stronger than morphine. The amount it takes to kill a person is less than the size of a pencil tip.
Many people advocate the use of fentanyl test strips, which may help detect fentanyl, but they are not always accurate. The test strip might be used on an area of the drug without a concentration of fentanyl, and miss the area where it is located. Fentanyl in fake prescription tablets, is not likely to be evenly distributed.
Opiates are highly addictive. Although the rate at which people can become addicted varies, within a week to two weeks of daily use, most people will have developed a physiological addiction.
As a person gets deeper into the addiction, they are seeking the drug to prevent getting dope sick. Many people describe withdrawal as being a tortuous experience. Detoxing can be dangerous if not done in a supervised medical setting. A person can become severely dehydrated from nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. They suffer greatly, and unless they are managed properly, and with empathy, in order to help them through it, they will desperately seek a fix.
To top it off, even for those who do go through detox and treatment, the relapse rate is very high. Most of the treatment facilities are thirty to ninety days. As an adjunct they may also provide sober living, AA classes, support groups, and life skills. Most have some sort of program to follow.
In many cases, the facility will prescribe drugs to ease the detox, such as benzodiazepines, Suboxone, or methadone. If a person is released while still dependent on these other drugs, they may, or may not be able to function well. Some people remain stable on methadone. Ideally a person will get free of all addictive drugs, and become drug free.
In addition to having the desire to quit, combined with a successful detox, the addict must have a very good plan in place, in order to succeed long term. They cannot succeed if they return to friends who are using, family members who are using, a party lifestyle, old habits, or boredom.
They will need to gradually deal with the underlying causes of the addiction, and find ways to develop resilience to protect their emotional and mental health. Often there is a co-dependency within families, which makes it very difficult for the addict to separate themselves from what is toxic, in order to maintain their well being, and progress.
Sometimes families mean well, but the ingrained patterns that led to the addictive behaviours can be filled with denial. A parent who drinks a lot might be judgemental toward a teenager who uses crystal meth. But to the teenager, they see it as hypocrisy. A mother who takes pain pills, or tranquilizers prescribed by a doctor, might be outraged at her fourteen year old smoking marijuana. Yet all of those things are part of the addictive dynamic.
They need to set up a personal care plan carefully tailored to both their strengths, and their weaknesses. They have to be very conscious of who they hang around with. To succeed, they have to abandon the relationships, lifestyles, and party places that were part of the earlier lifestyle.
They have to find relationships, and activities that change the old patterns, and keep them occupied. Many addicts quickly go from being an addict to being a therapist, which I do not think is a good idea, unless they have had plenty of time to get stable in every way.
It is helpful for people to support each other, and share success stories etc. Sometimes I wonder if addictive personalities can help cure other addictive personalities. I think they have empathy and experience, to be able to relate to what another person is going through, but they might not have in depth insight, or intrinsic stability for a very long time.
Many people who really want to help others, still need to sort out how they are going to help themselves. Getting free of the addiction, is only a portion of the battle. It takes years to figure out the pitfalls and cause of the addiction, and it is different for each person. Often it is tied to complex family dynamics.
If there is complex PTSD to overcome, especially from childhood trauma, a certain amount of the trauma is hardwired into the memory, and actual central nervous system. There are triggers that create an avalanche of cortisol, and other stress hormones. Since those are autonomic nervous system reactions, the person has no control over them.
Even if a person has managed to overcome complex PTSD from childhood trauma for the most part, it can still crop up and cause extreme distress years later. If there are enough stressors, that go on for a period of time, especially things like loud noises, sudden banging, yelling, screaming and cursing – those are all precursors to memories of impending violence.
With complex PTSD arousal, every system of the body, thought processes, adrenalin, cortisol etc. kicks in, to create an internal replica of the fear and helplessness of childhood trauma. No one likes to be subjected to screaming and cursing for prolonged periods, but for people who are triggered by someone else’s rage, such exposure has to be avoided at all costs. There is a cumulative effect, and the tension cannot be relieved until the verbal raging, cursing and threats are stopped. It is a re-creation of familiar events.
For the recovering addict, it also takes time to rewire the neurochemistry, and brain gut health, so a nutritious whole food diet is essential. Exercise, purpose, goal setting, dopamine restoration, improved self esteem, and meaningful work are the building blocks they need for long term success. They have to have a strong desire to succeed.
The thing about overcoming addiction, is that life gets easier in some ways, but it does not stay easy. There can still be plenty of adversity, so the challenge is to avoid using any substance again, no matter what happens.
People often relapse over a breakup, job loss, major conflict, or death in the family. Regardless of what happens, the commitment to stay clean and sober must prevail. Circumstances cannot dictate sobriety. The locus of control must come from within.
Probably one of the biggest pitfalls is that of substitute addictions. An addict might switch from opiates to prescribed benzodiazepines, which are also highly addictive, and difficult to get free of. They can be equally as destructive, and the detox actually takes longer. People have to taper by minute amounts, sometimes over a period of a year or two.
All people should realize that every type of psychoactive drug can, and will strike back and haunt them if they take the drug for any length of time. This includes antipsychotics, which also interfere with dopamine receptors and mood, SSRI, or antidepressants, and all sleeping pills.
Steroids are also dangerous if taken over time. They can wreak havoc with every system of the body, including the emotions, and self control. People on steroids can go into uncontrolled violent rages. If they need surgery or get ill, steroids can also mask the signs of infection.
NSAIDs or non-steroid anti-inflammatory drugs are not psychoactive, or addictive, but they too must be taken with caution, especially for older people. They can cause stroke, stomach problems, heart problems, kidney problems and liver problems.
People who are trying to overcome addictions might switch to over eating, sugar cravings, or drinking alcohol. They might still believe they are doing okay, and can manage the addiction. Even gambling, exercise, work, shopping, and sex can become substitute addictions.
Some people say they never get free of the desire to use again. Others do not feel the compulsion to use again at all. For them, the negatives are a greater deterrent than the positives. There is no high without a worse, and corresponding low.
They know they will be right back on that self destructive roller coaster if they use again. There comes a point, after detox and recovery, where using again is a choice. There may be some compulsion prompting them, but it is not so strong that it cannot be controlled, or diverted to a healthier alternative.
They have to be vigilant, and know their own weaknesses. For some people, a twelve step program works. I tend to believe that a person has to redesign the patterns of their life, in every way. All of the old habits must be broken, including patterns of thinking, and emotional management.
They must learn to avoid catastrophic reactions to set backs, break ups, financial distress, and most of all, if they have an accident, or must have surgery – how they will manage the short term use of opiates, without relapsing.
When thinking about the high failure rate of many treatment programs, I thought of creating an outline that parallels the book by John Bunyan called “The Pilgrim’s Progress”. The essence of the story is an allegorical dream sequence.
This concept would probably not be accepted in the secular world, but I believe we cannot overlook the fact we are spiritual beings. The Pilgrims Progress depicts the journey of a Christian, and shows just how much has to be overcome in the entire odyssey of life.
I found it interesting to note, that he did not come across a character called Grief in his travels. But grief is something we will all encounter, and is often one of the most devastating emotions of all human experiences.
In the story, the main character Christian, is anxious, ashamed, and has a massive burden on his back. The burden is so heavy, he fears it will cause him to sink into hell.
In an attempt to get free of the shame and burden, he decides to leave the City of Destruction, which is filled with evil and sin. He is advised by Evangelist to go to the Wicket Gate, and head for the Celestial City. He cannot see the gate, but is told to look for the shining light.
Initially, Christian sets off with a companion named Pliable, and before long, they fall into the Slough of Despond. A character named Obstinate has followed them, and tries to convince them to go back. With much difficulty, Pliable manages to crawl out of the pond, but is thoroughly discouraged, and follows Obstinate’s advice, and heads back to the City of Destruction.
Christian, due to the heavy burden on his back, sinks in the slough, and cannot get himself out. A man called Help comes and pulls him out. He carries on his journey, and soon comes across Mr. Worldly Wise Man, and gets some secular advice. The worldly wise man instructs him to seek the advice of Mr. Legality, and his son Civility in the village of Morality.
He heads to the mountain where they live, but it towers over him, has fire shooting out of it, and threatens to crush him.
Evangelist intervenes, and tells him to forget it, they are frauds. He advises Christian to stick to the path taking him to the Wicket Gate. To get to the straight and narrow, he must get on The King’s Highway, but then he encounters Beelzebub, who shoots at him with arrows.
A character named Goodwill saves him from Beelzebub, and tells him about Jesus. Christian tells Goodwill about the heavy burden he has been carrying. Goodwill directs him to the place of Deliverance.
From there, Christian makes his way to the House of Interpreters, who show him many things, to signify a Christian life, and the importance of faith. Finally Christian reaches the place of Deliverance. At last, the straps holding his heavy pack break and fall away into an open tomb, or sepulchre.
Then three angels visit him, to greet him, and give him peace. They provide new garments, and a scroll, which is a passport to the Celestial City.
Encouraged by his new found freedom, and his assurance of getting to his destination, he encounters more struggles. As he carries on, he comes across Simple, Sloth, and Presumption. Christian tries to talk to them, and help them, but they will have nothing to do with him.
Then he gets to the Hill of Difficulty, and meets two well dressed false Christians named Hypocrisy, and Formality. They were haughty, and sure of themselves, and were certain they knew the way to go. Before long, both of them end up perishing in two dangerous bypasses called Danger and Destruction.
Christian, weary from his travels, falls asleep in the arbour above the hill, and later, realizes he has lost his passport into the Celestial City, so he must retrace his steps to find it.
He comes across Timorous, and Mistrust who tell him about a den of lions on the way to Palace Beautiful. He manages to avoid the lions, and is then told by the Watchful Porter that they are chained, and are there to test his faith.
When he gets to the top of the Hill of Difficulty, he stays at the place called Palace Beautiful for three days. It is a place built by God for pilgrims on their journey, in order to replenish and refresh them. While there, he is told to put on the full armour of God (Ephesians 6: 11-18) to get him through the upcoming battle.
He ends up travelling into the Valley of Humiliation, and finds himself face to face with the great dragon Apollyon, who he battles for a half a day. Finally he is able to stab him with his two edged sword from the armour of God he put on earlier. The dragon flees.
Before long it is nightfall, and Christian ends up in the Valley of The Shadow of Death, where it is dark, terrifying and full of demons. He hears a character named Faithful read the twenty third Psalm: “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
When he leaves the valley of the shadow of death, much to his relief, the sun is shining. He meets Faithful who he knows from the former City of Destruction. Together the two of them go to a place called Vanity Fair. It is designed by Beelzebub, and is filled with lust, and all manner of temptations at the Fair. Both Faithful and Christian have disdain for such things.
Faithful is put on trial there and is executed, which transports him immediately to the Celestial City as a martyr. Christian then finds another companion called Hopeful. They end up facing much more adversity as they continue on their travels.
They try to take a shortcut, but end up being captured by Giant Despair, and his wife Diffidence, known for their cruelty and torture. They are then locked in the Doubting Castle where they are beaten and starved.
The Giant and his cruel wife want them to commit suicide. They are so beaten down, they are tempted to do so. Finally, Christian realizes he has a key called Promise, which fits into the keyholes of the locked dungeon. So they manage to escape.
As they get closer to their destination, on the Delectable Mountain, they meet the Good Shepherds. Finally through the Eyeglass of Perspective, they can look through it, and see the Celestial City.
Even though they are getting closer, they are warned not to be deceived. They meet the Flatterer, and follow him, being led astray until they see an angel who they think is the shining one, but they are deceived, and soon get stuck in a snare.
A true angel frees them from the snare, and puts them back on course with a stern warning. They then meet Atheist who mocks them, and tells them Heaven and God do not exist. They ignore him, and carry on.
They pass by a character called Wanton Professor who is chained by seven demons. There is a ferocity of vile projections, and then the Professor takes a shortcut to the Lake of Fire.
Next they meet a man named Ignorance, who is convinced he will be taken to the Celestial City because of his many good deeds, instead of as a gift, by the grace of God.
Christian and Hopeful try to convince Ignorance that he cannot get to the Celestial City on his own merit. Nevertheless, he insists on going his own way, and takes the perilous ferry of Vain Hope over The River of Death.
When Ignorance finally makes it to the Celestial City, he has no passport, and is denied entrance. He had not travelled the King’s Highway in order to get there. The angels took him away to hell.
Christian and Hopeful, almost there, still had to go through the Enchanted Ground, a place which made them very tired and sleepy, but they knew if they fell asleep there, they would never wake up.
They too, have to cross the River of Death, and they finally make it to the Celestial City, where they are welcomed, and allowed in.
Even though this is a Christian based allegorical story written in the 1600’s, it does give an indication of the struggles, difficulties, pitfalls, snares, and battles we all have to endure.
Too many times, we think, or expect things to be easy, or to go through life without falling into the pit of destruction. But on many levels, the journey as described in the Pilgrims Progress, is closer to what it is really like, especially for the addict.
Christian’s final companion on his journey to the Celestial City was Hopeful. I think John Bunyan was quite right to make Hopeful the strongest ally, and friend to help him reach his destination.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This is one of the greatest struggles for me. I know, I too have sinned many many times, and hurt other people throughout my lifetime.
More so, I have sinned against God, by not avoiding temptation, by saying things I should not say, by being angry, and resentful, and sometimes being outright prideful and foolish. I realize all of these attitudes are sinful. I also know we must repent of our sins, in order to change our ways. Some people do not believe repentance is an important part of the gospel message. I believe it is, and have repented, with much remorse over my own sins. I am eternally grateful for what Christ did for me, and others, by sacrificing His life so we can be forgiven.
It is amazing to know Christ asked God to forgive those who crucified him, even though he was going through an agonizing and unjust death.
When reading the story about Stephen (Acts 7:59-60) being stoned to death, it struck me as a remarkable sign of his enduring faith, when he asked God not to hold his death against those who stoned him, even as the rocks were raining down upon him.
We are told to love our enemies, regardless of what they do to us.
I understand these things with my mind. Yet in my mind and heart, there is still a dichotomy standing in the way of total forgiveness toward the teacher who dominated my life, and infiltrated my family with lies, and a cult stronghold.
The reason for this dichotomy within me, is that alongside forgiveness, we are also told to avoid certain people, to have nothing to do with them. We are not to sit in the counsel of the wicked or ungodly. Nor are we to believe and absorb lies. We are to seek the truth, love the truth, and stick with the truth in all aspects of our lives.
The challenge for me therefore, is in order to proclaim the true gospel, as opposed to the hyper dispensational teacher’s indoctrination, I have to reject the false gospel, and learn what is the truth in God’s word, the true gospel. We are told to beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. We are also told not to be deceived, and to test all things. That means we must discern good from evil, reject what is evil, and bring it into the light. Ephesians 5: 11-13
In order to embrace God’s promises of being adopted by God, as part of God’s family, I must reject the lies surrounding a pseudo-adoption lie by a false teacher. I was not adopted by the teacher, even though he told those lies repeatedly to everyone I know. Ephesians 1: 4-5
In order to assert my identity in Christ, and honour my parents, as we are instructed to do, I have to tell the truth of who I am, and refute the false accusations toward our mother and me. In my own mind and heart, I have to reject all the lies I was saddled with. Satan is referred to as the father of lies. Therefore I do not see how we can love such an enemy, and forgive those lies.
In all honesty, I have to admit, I struggle to forgive the evil aspects of the plot against my life. It was a persistent, unwavering deceptive scheme that began when I was a teenager in school, and has shadowed my entire adult life. It continues to this day. This harm was inflicted on our mother, on me, and and on my entire family.
It has torn the family apart spanning three generations. It jeopardized my own soul and salvation, and the souls of family members, who continue to hold this teacher in high esteem.
The difficulty for me, is to accept this as the persecution of my entire adult life, when those who have inflicted the harm, have never faced consequences, never admitted wrongdoing, never apologized, and above all – would never take no for an answer.
How can we reject evil if it is forced upon us? We have to be able to say no. The refusal to take no for an answer dehumanizes, and entraps a person. It is like you are treated as a non person, or an object.
In addition to instructing us to forgive, there are also many verses in the bible telling us in no uncertain terms – to avoid certain people. Proverbs 4:14-19:
There are many verses telling us what kind of people to avoid. We also have God-given free will. Most of us leave our teachers behind, and they become a distant memory. Some of them are remembered with fondness, and some of them we remember as being nasty.
But those are within the realm of normal lives, and basic respect. To get saddled with a teacher for life, simply because he came and taught in a small town school for a few years, is beyond comprehension.
As I understand what the bible says, I am to avoid this person. This is something I knew in my heart at the onset. But because he had power and authority over me, and was in collusion with a powerful family member, I was forced to put up with this teacher intrusion in my life.
My main objective was always to get them out of my life. Initially I tried every gentle, loving approach I could think of. I went to every member of my family, and said there is no way my decision to terminate an unwanted relationship with a teacher, should affect my family relationships. After all, we all know the truth, and I am more than willing to forgive my family.
I also spoke to the teacher and his wife, many times over the years, telling them I do not condemn them, or want to damage their reputation. I just want to make it clear there was no adoption, and leave it at that.
There was never a time where I was permitted to cut ties with those people, without more verbal assaults, more manipulation, more threats, and more punishment – all designed to force me back into an unwanted relationship.
Therefore, my struggle, and cognitive dissonance, is between free will, and the right to avoid what is false, wicked and destructive, to include false doctrine – all of which is lying alongside the instruction to forgive.
In that context, I really have to ask myself if I have malice and anger toward them. If I am honest, I cannot be sure. I think I do, and yet I have prayed for years to be released of the stronghold, and snare created by the family infiltration.
The main sticklers for me, is that I tried very hard to get free of this unwanted relationship, and even as an adult they used force. A refusal to take no for an answer, is criminal and exploitive. I want them to know that.
I have written about this situation extensively, in order to try and get it through to them that I said no, and will not resume the relationship no matter what they do. I am trying to assert myself, which is something I was never able to do as a child. Before I could get free of it all, I was pounced on with the same agenda as an adult.
When my husband was alive, the intrusive visits and behaviours from this teacher were very limited. Even though we did not want them in our lives, we also did not want to embark on a huge family conflict, so we remained polite, and tolerated their visits.
My husband told me he did not like the way the teacher looked at me, and when they did visit, he made sure I was never alone with him. So during those years, it was much different. The teacher temporarily lost some of his machismo, partly because my husband was protective of me, which I did appreciate. He was a very tall, strong athletic man. Also, it was because people are much stronger as a couple. We were together seventeen years before he died.
A young widowed woman, is weak and vulnerable, especially if her family does not protect or support her. Magnify it a thousandfold, if her family is forcing the wolf into her midst, and selling her soul to the devil.
In this day and age, why does any woman need a protector against a high school teacher? I cannot count the number of times I wished my husband was still alive, because I think we would have been much more effective in terminating the teacher relationship as a couple.
If I went into details about the history of my own background and family violence, I think it would shock the average person. Fortunately, my husband was not the least bit abusive toward me. The family violence was all from my childhood, growing up isolated on a farm, without parental protection. However, it is still much easier to forgive family, than it is to forgive an invasive intruder.
I find it most difficult to forgive the constant slander against our mother, even though she faced astronomical hardship. I think it was especially evil of him to brainwash me into thinking she was wicked and non-redeemable. He continued denigrating her until I finally cut them out of my life. When he started drilling into me that she was wicked, I was a traumatized teenage kid. To top it off, since I was a toddler, everyone who ever saw us together, told me I was the spitting image of her.
Perhaps most of all, I find it difficult to forgive the teacher’s willful attempt to destroy my soul. I thank God every day, for His abundant grace in saving me from such a fate. There is little doubt in my mind the teacher plot was an attempt to take over and destroy my mind, will, emotions and spirit.
He not only set out to dominate, control and destroy my life on this earth. His objective was to destroy my soul for all eternity, just as he tried to assert the destruction of our mother’s soul for all eternity. The depth of depravity, on a spiritual level, is almost unfathomable. Soul murder, or the attempt to do so, has to be the most wicked thing of all.
After all, our flesh will eventually die, but our soul and spirit is our essence. Through Christ as saviour, by his grace, He has saved us, and overcome death, so believers are granted eternal life. To intentionally try and rob any person of salvation through Christ, is an unspeakable evil.
Still, the question lingers – why? Why was he so bent on destruction to the extent he targeted both my mother and me, in such an incomprehensible and destructive way?
There is little doubt God will judge the hearts and minds of all of us, and there is nothing we can hide. He will recompense, and it is not up to us to judge, or we ourselves will be judged, according to all of our own sin. I get that.
When I think of God’s wrath as it is described in the bible, I also know it tells us to take no pleasure in the fate of the wicked. Nor do I know who among the wicked will seek repentance, and be forgiven.
Many times I have prayed to find a way to forgive this man. I have asked God that if he forgives the teacher, and he ends up with eternal life, can He find a way to keep him at least a few hundred miles away from me throughout eternity? I cannot even fathom having to spend more time with the teacher.
I know it is silly, because all of those who are saved by the blood of Jesus, are of one family, and one body. Therefore we cannot separate ourselves from other true believers, and nor should we want to.
So what I am left with is in trusting the redemptive work Jesus is able to work not only in my mind and heart, but for all of us.
Even though I have to admit to harbouring some degree of ill will, or hurt, I do not wish to see anyone suffer the wrath, and second death as described in the bible. I cannot even imagine seeing someone thrown into the lake of fire.
The only thing I have ever wanted is to be free of the teacher, without being punished and rejected by my own family.
The message to me has always been loud and clear, comply or suffer. But there is no way I can possibly accept the teacher lies and relationship all over again. So the enigma for me, is to reject the relationship, as I have every right to do, and yet forgive, and let go. It is hard to do, when they will not let go of me, and continue the scheming and manipulation to punish me.
I still vividly remember when the teacher would stalk me outside of school. So many times, I tried to run away from him. It triggered his animal instinct, so he would chase me. On one occasion, running through the bush, late at night, in the pitch dark, I stumbled and fell over a tree root. When he caught me he was enraged, panting and out of breath. He growled, “Don’t you ever try to get away. You will never get away, because I will HUNT you down.”
All I could say to him was “I don’t care. I don’t care what you want. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you believe. I don’t care what you say. Everyone knows you are not my father.” I repeatedly glared at him and said “I DON’T CARE!”
It feels like there is a stand-off of sorts within me. To be honest, as I have said before, I grew to despise the teacher with every fibre of my being. Yet we are told to love our enemies.
Do I love the teacher? I cannot say that I do. Do I forgive him? Even that is a tough question to answer honestly. I can forgive him, by giving it over to God, and asking Him to show me how. I have faith he will answer my prayers.
I do believe in agape love toward our neighbours, those we have had conflict with, and those who have lifestyles we know are harmful to society in general. There are people who at one time, I was at enmity with, and now I realize I was just trying to win a battle, because I was dominated so much in my own life. In many cases, it had nothing to do with the person I was in conflict with, and I hope they can forgive me for my attitude toward them at the time.
None of those conflicts stay with me, because the forgiveness is genuine, and thus it enables us to let things go.
The fact I have not let go of the teacher saga, means I have not found a way to truly and sincerely forgive.
I think part of it is that trauma and betrayal becomes hard wired into our psyche, especially when there has been brainwashing. I know Christ can heal all wounds, and I have faith He will help me find a way to forgive the teacher.
People always say forgiveness is for ourselves, not the perpetrator. Many people will forgive the most atrocious crimes, often within a matter of minutes, which is astounding to me.
Forgiveness is central to the gospel. We have to overcome the challenge, and difficulty surrounding forgiveness and betrayal. It is something our mind or will cannot accomplish on its own. I believe we have to surrender the aspect of bondage that prevents us from forgiving.
Although by the grace of God I was plucked out of the fowler’s snare, there is still a rope or two around me, preventing the full liberation of a Christ centred life. I know it is based on my own weakness, and emotions. The forgiveness must be a spiritual reckoning, in order to provide a complete release of all the hurt and anger. I cannot do it on my own.
In spite of the fact I reject all the teacher’s lies, and reject the relationship, I also know I must forgive.
Most of all I want the cult influence and falsehoods out of my family, especially for the sake of my grandchildren.
The teacher should not be my enemy. Teachers for most aging adults, are left far behind us, having provided a temporary service. Other than this particular teacher, I hardly ever think about teachers from the past. I sincerely want to leave him behind where he belongs.
Just as I repeatedly told him when I was sixteen years old, I don’t care. I don’t care what he thinks, wants, pretends, likes to believe, or what religion he chooses to belong to. In all bluntness, and candour, I do not care. There is nothing there. There is nothing to fight about. It is an apparition and delusion in his mind.
My hope is to put him in his rightful place. He was a teacher, that is all. There is no attachment or enmity with prior teachers, at least in theory. So, I want him to take a seat in the corner with the dunce cap on, and get over himself as some kind of deity, and member of my family.
Once he takes his rightful place in my life, be barely exists. Even as an enemy, he is a phantom. His fable is as elusive, and shady as the dust in the wind. I am not going to fight with anyone, about who I am, and the family I was born into and raised by. It is beyond ridiculous.
To the teacher and his family, I wish them no harm. Once the falsehoods are stripped away, they are still people I barely know. I never did get to know them, because there was no truth in them. How do you get to know those who completely misrepresent themselves? When there is no truth is a relationship, it is all fiction. It was a purely fictional construct, and still is.
Anything built on foundational lies will crumble. Over time, there is nothing left but a pile of rubble to be bull dozed into a landfill. It all deserves to be forgotten, as it has no substance whatsoever.
It morphed into spiritual and psychological warfare, and a familial stronghold that only God can deal with. Ephesians 6:12
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Because it is such a heavy familial burden, I have prayed, and have faith Christ will show me the way to forgive, and most of all, completely forget about the teacher. He does not deserve a space in my head, just like he is not welcome in my home.
Our family needs to concentrate on healing and forgiving each other, without the lies, and interference. We have intergenerational patterns to overcome. There is no point in doing to me, what was done to our mother. Hatred and expulsion from the family, is not going to solve anything. Scapegoating certain members of the family, is not hidden from God. He knows full well what is behind it all.
It is all a major challenge, and is something I know I must endure, and overcome, through faith and trust in Christ.
Perhaps one of the most disturbing things about cults, is the way they attack and destroy families. In fact, a very common deceptive cult practice is to target a fractured family, and try to become a part of that family. Or they will target the most vulnerable or youngest member of the family, and claim to have a special familial relationship with their victim.
In my case, I am talking about a cult steeped in the false doctrine of hyper dispensationalism. To a young or new Christian, the false doctrine embodied in this cult, is not clear at the onset. It took some time to sort it out, even though I knew from the beginning, there was something seriously wrong with this teacher’s attitude and conduct.
Since I have first hand experience with a high school teacher claiming to be my father, I can tell you how profoundly disturbing it is to have someone make such a claim, and then gaslight you to no end. He acted like I was brain dead. He carried out a galling pretence, as though I did not know who I was, or where I came from. I thought it was absurd.
Of course I knew who my parents were, and where I grew up. I remember it all very clearly to this day. I also knew I did not join a cult. In fact I was wary of cults. I saw Moonies and Hare Krishna cults trying to recruit people, and took a wide berth around them. But they were easier to spot than the wolf in the classroom, pretending to be a pious Christian, while simultaneously staring a hole through me.
He stared at other kids too, but he stared at me the most. I was his special target from the time I was about fourteen. Things heated up, before I graduated though, because he was bound and determined he was not going to let me go. He even told me so..”Oh no, you will not get away, I am not going to let you go.” He meant it too.
Normally cults will try to recruit followers. But in my case, I was chased down, forced into a car, taken home with the teacher night after night, and brainwashed until my eyes glazed over. There was no recruitment, and there was no consent.
He abused power to the extent, I was threatened with violence, and complete expulsion from my own family. He also claimed that not only would my family not support me defying him, but God would cast me into outer darkness. I would be separated from both family and God. He told me he was using force with me because “intervention was required”.
If I got really sassy, and defied him, he would claim I was mentally ill, or emotionally disturbed, and in defiance of authority. If I went along with being his daughter, he was proud, and I was very special, and should be eternally grateful. He told me his love was unconditional. That too, sickened me to the core. It was a molestation of the mind, emotions and spirit.
How is ANY kid supposed to process such lunacy? He was the lunatic, not me. He was the one who needed intervention. I knew it, yet there was not a thing I could do about it. Part of it was that I felt like I was bad. If I had a better sense of boundaries, and less guilt, I might have been better equipped to fight this guy off.
It all began just two or three weeks after my younger brother was killed in a car accident. I was devastated. We were just a year apart, and he had been my best buddy since he was born. As soon as he could crawl, we were playing together, and going places.
Within a couple of years we were outside running down the cow trails, and trying to catch rabbits and gophers. We wanted to make them into pets if we could only catch one.
One day, we were out rolling barrels down an incline. We would each get on a barrel and see who could stay on it as it rolled down the hill. Low and behold, a rabbit jumped in front of me, and I rolled over it without being able to stop the barrel.
So, although it was unplanned, we finally caught a rabbit. It was stunned, but still alive. So I carefully picked it up and carried it home. We found a box to put it in by the wood stove, and then went out to get it some food from the garden.
I also gave it warm milk. It was kind of lethargic for awhile. But sometime throughout the night, it livened up, and jumped out of its box. It was jumping all over the place, and leaving rabbit turds wherever it went. We could not even catch it.
Finally we brought the dog in, and he chased it outside. I did not want to scare it into having a heartattack or something, but it was uncontrollable.
After that we did not try as hard to catch wild animals. But we did put a bat in a jar, to see if it would eat flies. Eventually we let it go, because it was ugly, and never even moved. We could hardly tell if it was dead or alive.
My brother and I played together outside all the time, and when we got older, we were each other confidants. His death broke me. He died in November, and his funeral was on a bitter cold day. I felt frozen inside and out, like a walking human iceberg. Everything was bleak. I felt so guilty. The last time I saw him was at a basketball game. I told him to tuck in his shirt.
And then, he was gone. Just like that. Two or three weeks prior to the accident, he was in a fender bender while out with friends. I told him I had a dream he had been killed in a car accident. He said, “thanks a lot”.
I felt guilty, and lost. I went from being sort of zombie like, to hyperactive. I was involved in everything, cheerleading, basketball, student’s union, school yearbook, you name it. Anything to find or create a distraction. Of course I was emotionally disturbed. Who wouldn’t be?
I still went to school. In fact I still passed with honours, and graduated when I was sixteen. So it was not like I was smoking crack. But I was drinking, and out partying by the end of the school year. So I was no angel.
Even so, the teacher had no right to do what he did. Because I felt guilty, I was much more vulnerable. It took many years for me to realize it did not matter what I was doing, even if I was smoking crack. It would still not justify what this man did, and how much damage he caused to me, and my family.
It compounded the grief and family trauma a thousandfold. It created a lifelong complex trauma and PTSD. Nowadays people will claim to have PTSD if they fail a grade, or if they don’t make the team. I would never admit to having PTSD, as I was so afraid of being labelled as mentally ill, which would give them more ammunition to control my life.
I just tried to cope. Finally I was forced to take stock, and realize it all had a profound effect, and I was fearful, getting flashbacks, drinking, and drowning in sorrow. They had me right wher they wanted me to be. When I was at my worst – they were beaming with pride.
I no longer have PTSD. I have overcome it. But there is no way I would have ever overcome it if I had not freed myself of the teacher con. Part of the destructiveness enmeshed in that plot, was to keep me locked into the past. How can you deal with the past if you have someone lurking, and dominating you with acomplete denial of who you are, and what your past involved?
The teacher was denying me the fundamental right, not only to be who I am, but also to come to terms with the grief and trauma of the past. He interfered with, and prevented healing on all levels.
When I was thirty-five, my husband was killed in an accident. The teacher was on my doorstep all over again. It was a nightmare. The emotional impact once again, not only of the sudden death and loss, but worse yet, having this looming goon, lying and conning, and taking great pleasure in my pain, was more than I could bear. He was saying the same things as he said after my little brother died. It was like I was looking at a demonic influence, and archetype that I could not shake for the life of me.
The hallmarks of all cults are religiosity, deception, identity assault, mind control, coercion, and an arrogance that takes the place of God. They are the ultimate authority. You have no choice but to obey. They have the power to punish. They infiltrate a family, in order to rip the family apart, because that is how they gain access, and control over a victim. It is also a tactic used to weaken, and dominate. It is kind of like a wolf, or apex predator that separates the calf from it’s mother.
Our sense of self and identity is closely tied to our mother, and our immediate family. The cultist is driven to rob you of your identity. They will insist you are not who you think you are, and claim you are someone else.
Even though I was a teenager, with a very good memory, this guy would repeat colossal lies over and over, literally hundreds of times. When you are kept awake all night, with repetitious shaming, and strangeness, it is beyond what the mind can comprehend.
At the time, I did not realize his religion was a cult. I knew something was seriously wrong with the whole experience, but I had no power of veto. I was the proverbial bad girl, and he would not take no for an answer.
He even went as far as telling me what he “liked to believe”. He liked to believe he had me since I was a very young child. He liked to believe my mother was not really my mother. She was wicked and non-redeemable, and therefore she did not deserve to be my mother. He liked to believe I was special, but not gifted (as in being a gifted student). That too, was shameful.
He would repeatedly tell me I was his daughter, God told him to adopt me, and I was his precious gift from God. He said I was very lucky, very special, and he was so proud of me. For crying out loud – he was a teacher. As it turned out, he was an authentic nutcase. I mean, who concocts such nonsense, other than a nutcase?
Every time he told me he was proud of me, I almost puked. I found it to be so repulsive, I had a visceral reaction. He would tell me I had the “exact same IQ” as his wife. He repeated that lie hundreds of times.
He would say raising me gave him premature grey hairs. He would talk about how I could be a difficult child, and had kept him awake many nights. Really? He was the one who was keeping me awake. What a twisted jerk.
He never raised me at all, in any way, shape or form. He was just over a decade older than I was. How could he have possibly raised me since I was a young child? He really should have been arrested, and lost his teaching license.
His behaviour was brazenly exploitive, criminal, and outlandish. He had no right to force me into a vehicle, and then forcibly confine me for hours on end. This is not a he said, she said case. At least half the grade twelve class witnessed him chasing me through the bush, and putting the grab on me. They saw him order me to “get in that car or I will STUFF you in that car”. Anyone from the era, who is from my home town, knows this teacher did what he did.
He was a complete and total stranger to me. I was never once under his jurisdiction. I found him to be an atypical oddball, and very scary. I was afraid of him. To this day, I would put nothing past him. He was capable of anything. He had no morals, no empathy, and no respect for the laws, boundaries, truth, or professional guidelines. He was above the law.
As a teacher, he was very solemn, and was often yelling at students with a booming voice. He liked to strap kids, or grab them, and muscle them out of the classroom. He was more prone to physical violence by far, than any other teacher in the school.
What is even more icky is that he would tell other people, including members of my own family, the same warped things. He acted as though his choice to be a religious zealot made him untouchable, pious above all reproach, and arrogant beyond belief. He was a twenty eight year old teacher with a massive ego, and God complex.
Cultists target vulnerable people and families, because they do not have a good sense of boundaries. The ultimate goal is mind control. Psychology Today calls it soul murder, which is actually true, because they target the mind, spirit, will and emotions, which is our soul.
He stared without blinking. It was one of his most chilling traits. When he forcibly confined me all night long in his house, it was especially hair-raising and spooky, because he had large horn rim glasses, and all I could see was the reflection of his glasses, without seeing his eyes.
There were times I wondered if he was going to kill me. It took almost a lifetime to realize the extent of damage he did to me and my family. It took a very long time to finally go to the police, and it took even longer to deal with the PTSD from those nights of torture.
I could not extricate myself, because he was invited to every family function, and was treated with reverence. He was far more important than I was.
There were times I resisted. Many times. I also begged, cried and pleaded with him, and every member of my family. I tried reasoning with them, knowing full well they knew I was not adopted by the teacher, and had never been up for adoption anymore than they had been up for adoption.
This was an extension of family violence. It was a way of continuing the abuse into adulthood. When I pleaded to get out of the trap, a few times the teacher would finally say, “Okay then, you can be our special friend”.
I would gag. I did not want to be their special friend either. They were the last people I would ever be friends with by choice. They had no sense of humour. They were dreary, tiresome, flat, bland, insipid, arrogant, controlling, quiet, stodgy, and mind-numbing. All conversation was superficial and boring. I hated being around them. Every minute was like an hour.
It was like watching paint peel. I would find every excuse to go for a walk, take the garbage out, run an errand. Anything to break away for a few minutes. When I did, I never wanted to go back. I wanted to run for the hills, and disappear.
The only reason he gave permission to be special friends, was because it meant he was still the one who was defining the relationship. He was still in control. It meant he would still have access to me. It meant he could continue lying to everyone, pretending to be my “daddy”. It also meant that within a short time, the special friend would turn into the daughter, all over again. No boundaries means, you just keep on pushing.
Over the years, he probably gave me at least fifty or maybe even a hundred syrupy, sparkly cards. They were DAUGHTER cards, plastered with out of context Bible verses. Many of the cards were cards you would give to a six year old child. He had me locked into childhood trauma, and he was quite determined to keep me there.
Every chance he got, he would repeat the mantra “you are our daughter”. This lie was repeated thousands of times. He was literally drilling it into me. When his kids got older, he told them to tell me I was their sister. As if the statement itself was going to make something so blatantly false, into truth.
All of it made me cringe. I would recoil, turn away, shrug it off, and try to ignore those creepy claims. Normally, I would have promptly told a person like that to get lost, pound sand. In fact, in those days, I would not have minced words, and would have told him exactly where to go.
But you have to keep in mind, he was in collusion with a very powerful member of my own family. If not for that, I would not have put up with those ridiculous lies for a country second. If I made the slightest negative comment about this guy, I faced swift, and aggressive retaliation.
How many people sit there and repeat over and over to their real son or daughter – “you are my son, you are my daughter”. The answer is no one. People do not have to keep restating obvious facts.
He stared, and repeated flagrant lies. Did he sit there and say that to his own daughter on a daily basis? No of course not. A person only repeats a falsehood, because they are trying to indoctrinate, and use repetition, to get that falsehood instilled into your psyche.
After awhile, I realized the reason he stared so much, is because he was always trying to evaluate the impact of his constant lying. A brainwashing cultist tries to put your mind under a microscope, while simultaneously, and paradoxically ignoring every bit of body language, and every single thing you say.
He alternated between shaming me, and telling me how special I was. When he came to our family functions, he was always given a place of honour, and would be the one to say grace, or a prayer. He had the respect of a godfather, or some kind of deity. To me, he was nothing but a disgustingly corrupt teacher. Yet I dared not say so.
To those who support this con, and reject the truth of what actually happened, based on my own testimony, since I was the victim of this plot, I want to ask them a couple of questions.
How do they think this whole saga came about? Since when do teachers adopt students? Since when do teachers make false claims to adopt a student, so they can justify repeatedly forcing the student into a car, and then forcibly confining them all night long?
Clearly those who know about this false adoption claim, know by now, there was no adoption. So how does a teacher take on such a role in a family? How did the false adoption claim come about? And why are they all so afraid to challenge the big lie?
Is the teacher still going to every family function, pretending to be a pious do-gooder? I got kicked out of my own family, and he remained. People need to ask themselves what is the under belly of this dark con, and why is it so important to them?
He vehemently hated our mother. He did not know her. The men in the family were far worse, from a judgemental perspective, yet he never once said a word about them.
Initially it was very confusing and traumatizing. I had accelerated through school, and planned to get a post secondary education. I knew my education was paid for until I was eighteen, and also knew I could get a scholarship.
He was determined to prevent me from taking an academic route, as I had planned. He forced me into a nursing program, and then took credit for the fact I became a nurse. He did use me as a fund raising mascot for his cult religion. But then his wife immediately went back to University. In fact she graduated the same year I did.
During that time frame, they tried to force me to sign adoption papers, and change my name. I flatly refused. They were livid. At the time I was living in Calgary, and luckily my roommate came home, when they had me backed into a corner. She looked at me like, “What the heck is going on?”
Otherwise, I would not rule out they would have used force, like physically grabbed me. I knew I did not sign those papers, but I thought they might have forged my signature, and filed the papers anyway, because they did not accept, or acknowledge my refusal. They went and told everyone there had been a legal adoption.
Many years later, I contacted the Ministry, and Department of Vital Statistics, and asked if they had filed forged documents. They said no, which I already knew I guess, because by then I had been married, and had a passport, so I knew there had not been a name change.
They lied so convincingly, everyone believed them. Even though I said no, and told people I said no, I was not believed, and they were.
He did not use the money he raised through his church to put me through nursing. He used the money to put his wife through a nursing degree program. The plan was that she would be my mentor, and mother superior. I was an investment of sorts. Up until she went for her degree, she was very miserable with the fact her husband was obsessing over a young teenage girl.
Part of my attempts to argue and reason with him, was to tell him that following, and chasing me around all the time, was not good for his marriage. I told him his wife was not happy about it. But after she realized there was financial gains to be made, she changed her tune.
The lie about putting me through nursing was just another lie in the coffin. He had infiltrated the family and made himself into a godfather of sorts. Then he took credit for what I was, and what I did for a living. I owed him my life, my accomplishments, my existence, my identity, and must grovel with involuntary gratitude forever. I was not going to get away. Ever.
My education was paid for until I was eighteen, and then I took out a student loan. Later on when the family farm was sold, the debt was paid off. I knew the teacher did not put me through nursing, and I never asked him to. He was an absolute lying cheapskate. He would be the last person to buy you a coffee. He was cheap to the core, and so was his wife.
They kept track of every penny, and were not the least bit generous. A few times, they were generous superficially, and then went for the pound of flesh. They always extracted way more than they gave. It was like they were some kind of royalty, and were owed everything I ever had, or earned, or did.
When I graduated from high school, I went to school in Calgary, which is more than 300 km. from my home town, or around 200 miles away. The teacher most certainly did not babysit me, and nor could he follow me around outside of school.
It was the one major, albeit a temporary relief, putting some physical distance between me, and the cult couple. They had jobs and young children, so he could not follow me around. Even so, I was far from being rid of them as I had hoped.
In spite of all his lies about how much I needed intervention in high school, I still managed to go to classes, and wrote the RN exams when I was nineteen years old. I also managed to be on the President’s Honour Roll, and scored in the top percentile on the RN exams. He had nothing to do with it.
The teacher took all the credit for what I did. In hindsight, this was all designed to prevent me from accepting a scholarship into an academic English literature program. If I had been able to accept the scholarship, I would have been able to establish my own career path in a field of my own choice. Not only did he devise a way to infiltrate my family, and make ludicrous claims to be my father, he also tied himself to my career. He had all the bases covered, for a lifetime of entrapment.
The reason I stuck with nursing, is because getting a post secondary education was very important to me from the time I was in grade school. Even though I tried to break free when I graduated, I was still very much under the thumb of the teacher, and felt guilty whenever I thought of breaking free.
I did not want to be a nurse at all. It was a huge burden, and there was no credit given to me for going through it. All credit went to the teacher. At the time, I thought I would be able to get out of it, and do something else.
They acted like they owned my home, my labour, my mind, and dictated what my IQ was. They monitored my every move, what I wrote, and if they disapproved – if I was not the nice obedient nurse, and pseudo daughter, they had the means to punish me. I was easily ganged up on.
They set a trap, and they closed off all escape routes. Over a period of many years, he never stopped lying, never took no for an answer, and never stopped staring.
Even as a teacher, I could not stand the guy. His all encompassing authority, and macho man, tough guy swagger was immature and sickening. He had no personality to speak of, and neither did his wife. They were as boring as hell. I had to be nice, and pretend all was well. Just plaster a smile on my face, nod my head in agreement with every banal thing they said, and assume the position.
For years, I would put on a polite pretence, and go along with the facade, so I would not get brutalized and kicked out of my own family. I was biding my time. What a waste of a life.
I prayed, and I hoped they would change, and mellow over the years, and eventually just drop it. But they never did. They would not consider it for a moment. They were openly and brazenly exploiting me. Their demands were increasing, and they were getting bolder by the year.
There were times I was so depressed, I could hardly function. I was a mess. A basket case. Eventually I knew I had to get free of them, or I was as good as dead.
It got to the point where I could not even look at him. He was still getting everyone and their dog to manipulate, and pat me on the head, telling me how fortunate I was to have these wonderful Christians in my life.
I despised him. The reason I could not look at him, was because I nearly vomited when I did. I shrank away from both of them, and all their lies. When I let them know it was destroying me – they could care less. All that mattered was the lies, and keeping me in the trap. My misery was their goal. So what good was it going to do to tell them how destructive it was?
They believed I would never get out of it. They were smug, and self-righteous. How dare I hurt their feelings. They would repeatedly tell me that if I thought of “that wicked woman as my mother” they found it very hurtful. They would pout like spoiled children, and make a face, sort of like a mask of pity. It was so fake, and so appalling.
Over a period of many years, it was psychological warfare, with them putting on a pious look of normalcy, and vast superiority. Yet I could never, and would never forget those tortuous nights of being forced to sit and listen to his brainwashing, thought reform, and mind control when I was a kid in school. It was so creepy, it could be in a sci-fi horror movie.
At the time, I thought I was putting up a barrier. I thought I was able to fend off the twilight zone, of his authoritarian power, cognitive dissonance, lies, and sadistic spiritual, psychological and emotional abuse. It took many years before I realized how much damage he had done.
Getting free of the teacher is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and in all honesty I cannot take a shred of credit for it, because it was only by the grace of God that I got out of that snare. Otherwise I would have been dead long ago. I had to get out of nursing, and had to be prepared to give up my house, and every single relationship in my life.
It was the most abusive relationship of my entire lifetime, and by far the most tenacious. To this day I do not understand why they would be so determined to destroy my life. It is evil beyond comprehension. They had their own families, lives, and careers. They corrupted their own natural children, who they doted on like most narcissists do, because those darlings are the true extension of themselves.
I was a throwaway, like something they found at a garage sale, and could get some use out of. And yet I was expected to believe I was their child? Why would I believe such a ridiculous lie? Growing up – I was not doted on, by any stretch of the imagination.
Their children were not my siblings. I barely knew them, yet they too bought into the lies. Sort of, but not really. It was like they were mocking me for being so gullible. I was not gullible. I was in a trap that was sprung on me when I was a kid in school. The thing about psychopaths, is they actually believe the victim deserves what they do to them.
The biggest regret I have is not screaming blue murder, and getting the police involved immediately. But I was very afraid to do so. This man was a teacher, and he had aligned himself with some of my own family. I knew there would be an immediate retaliation if I went to the police. I also feared I would be kicked out of school, or persecuted so much in school that I would not be able to graduate.
At the time, I was just months away from graduating, and moving away from the small town and school, so I thought I would get free of him then. I got married, and thought I would be rid of the teacher. And yet, those events did not get rid of him.
It took until I was fifty years old to finally say, I will not spend one more minute with those horrible people. The last time they were at my house, I sat and watched the second hand on a big clock on the wall go round, and round. Every minute that went by, I told myself, I will not spend one more minute with them. Ever.
Fortunately, I made a choice many years ago to stop drinking alcohol. I did not have to go to rehab, and have never been treated for a mental health disorder. I do not have any judgment toward those who do need help, or cannot quit on their own. The reason I am glad, is because if I did need help, they would have used it against me. The stronger you get, the more they double down. If you are weak and floundering, they are happy as clams.
When they attempted to make claims I was mentally ill as a student in school, it was just another lie. There was no referral, no diagnosis, and no basis, other than to intrude into my mind, and shame me for doing well in school. He was determined to take over my mind, discredit what he wanted to eradicate, and take credit for what I did accomplish.
It is incredible to me, how powerful men can simply make the claim someone is mentally ill, without any basis for making the claim. Gaslighting is illegal. But of course they do not care about what is legal. They use the mentally ill claim to control and stifle dissent. They use it to prevent disclosure about their own conduct, and history.
When I terminated the relationships, I never told them outright, while they were in my home, because deep down, I was afraid of both of them. They killed numerous family pets. They were sadistic toward my feelings, and they were also cold and determined to keep exploiting me, and keep up the facade of being family, when they were not family. After they were gone, I sent them a letter terminating the relationship, and told them I wanted no contact with them.
What did they do? They turned around and came right back to Haida Gwaii to seek me out, and challenge me. They reverted back to the stalking behaviours. Fortunately in a small town, news travels fast, and I heard they were back.
Haida Gwaii is a long way from Alberta. But they clearly were not prepared to take no for an answer. I put the chains on the doors, checked all the windows, dead bolted the doors, turned out all of the lights, and was prepared to call the police if they tried to get in.
I was doing diabetic teaching at the time, and they managed to find where the office was located. They left a note on my office door. That is as close as they got. Fortunately, I was out seeing a patient when they showed up there. I am not sure if both the teacher and his wife were there, or just one of them.
After that, the roller coaster ride of fury, and grim orders, veiled threats, followed by absolute contempt and rejection, has been part of the punishment for getting free of that cult teacher.
Few things could be more dangerous than having someone stay in your home who you do not trust, and do not feel safe with. In Australia, the Exclusive Brethren cult are called the Brethren bullies. They are full of cloak and dagger tactics, to include death threats, and staging suicides. In 2007 the Australian PM declared they were a destructive cult that rips families apart. In my opinion, they are part of a network of organized crime.
Once I made the decision, it has been a major and ongoing battle. I was given a timeline to get back into it. I said NO. I was coerced, bullied, threatened, and then rejected by my own family. I have stood firm. Is it any wonder I had no power over this kind of dominance, when I was a teenage kid in school, without parental protection? I did not stand a chance.
I guess a word of caution, is to be careful, especially when it comes to religious authority. Don’t assume they are real Christians. Be wary of push in predators. And above all, never let someone lie so much they are claiming to be family.
That is the single, and biggest red flag of all. They are using a false front to push themselves into a place of intimacy, knowledge, control, manipulation, and involvement where they do not belong – well past all natural boundaries.
The hallmark of a cult, is to claim you are not who you think you are, and they are your family. No they are NOT. Many books of the Bible, go to great lengths to describe who begat who. These lying cults will circumvent every natural law, and natural relationship God created. They also take away our God given free will. They are evil masquerading as good.
All relationships need healthy boundaries. The cultist pushes past those boundaries, which is why he seeks to infiltrate a fractured family. When those boundaries are crossed, and those bonds are broken, he has robbed natural affection, and destroyed natural loyalties.
Through his lies, and lawlessness, he has taken the seat of the father, as well as God the father. He has pushed himself into a place of ultimate importance, centrality, control, power and authority. He is full of lying wonders.
If anything a cult can teach is, is to know the depths of Satan. To get free of it is by the grace of God, we are plucked out of the fowler’s snare.
As I look back, there were so many signs. So many brazen lies. So many contradictions, and things that do not align with God’s word, or character. I do remember telling him “God does not force us into a relationship with Him – so who are you to do so?”
When he told me God told him to adopt me, I said to him, “Does God talk to you out of the sky, or the walls or what?” Then I asked him, “Since it is my life, why wouldn’t God tell me too?”
It fell on deaf ears. In my experience with cultists, they will not listen, they cannot be reasoned with, they will not admit wrongdoing, or repent.
I know we are supposed to forgive one another. This is the one aspect of my own life’s experiences I find most difficult to forgive. I can forgive my family, because I love them, and know they too have faced hardship.
But to forgive the false teacher, is a tough one. He brought greater harm to an already fractured family. He has his own family. He has children and grandchildren. He used me, and he used our family, for personal and financial gain.
One of the saddest things, is in knowing how many people have been lied to, and corrupted over the years. Entire systems have been corrupted over this nefarious teacher plot.
One of the reasons I am writing, to share my testimony, and also writing some political commentary on a couple of social media sites, is to prove I am not mentally ill. Otherwise, if you have no visibility, they will lie, fabricate, and scheme up more false claims. People tend to believe it, especially if you have no visibility or voice. Just to be clear, the only time in my life I have been accused of being mentally ill, is when I refuted the teacher’s adoption lies. Cultists are liars.
Just to present some alternate and hypothetical scenarios, to help highlight how preposterous this plot has been. Imagine if the situation was reversed, and a student adamantly, and falsely claimed to have been adopted by a teacher.
In order to create a parallel type situation, imagine if that student repeatedly claimed they were the son or daughter of the teacher. What if they insistently made false claims that there had been a legal adoption, and also showed up at every one of the teacher’s family functions, as well as repeatedly showed up on the doorstep of the teacher.
What do you suppose would happen to the student? They would be called crazy for sure. They would be forced into treatment, evaluated, and diagnosed as delusional and psychotic. The police would be contacted, and there would be a restraining order put in place, to protect the teacher and his family. If it went on for years, the student would probably have spent time in jail, or a psych unit.
This is an example of the audacity involved when someone in authority decides to abuse power over someone who is considered to be powerless. If it was done in reverse, it would never be allowed to continue. How did he get away with it? There are hundreds of people who know about this teacher adoption claim. At the time, many people raised eyebrows, and questioned how it came about. Yet no one protected me.
The second scenario, is to imagine an adult man, who has the hots for young girls. He has carefully set himself up to have access to young girls. He pretends to be a do-gooder, a Mr. Hot Shot, and thinks he has a good cover. He has targeted a specific girl, and is obsessing over her day and night.
So he concocts a plan to tell people he is going to adopt her. He does this so he can justify stalking her, and putting the grab on her. After all, in his mind – she needs some discipline, intervention, authority, and control over her life. It gives him an excuse, under this psychotic daddy delusion to carry out his fantasy of overpowering his victim, and being alone with her for hours on end.
It could be a delusional and psychotic mindset, where he actually starts to believe God told him to be her daddy. Or it could be an intentional criminal scheme, to abduct and forcibly confine his dream girl, without facing consequences. Either way, should he actually be able get away with such a devious scheme?
What do you think would happen to this guy, when it was realized he was lying through his teeth, was forcing a teenage girl into his car, and taking her home with him? Even though he had crafted a ruse to try and get away with his crimes, should he be able to lie his way out of it? It would not be the first time a criminal abducted a child, and made false claims to be their parent.
But in such a case, when caught, the person would have been sent for a psych evaluation, or charged with kidnapping, and forcible confinement. It would have been all over the news, and he would have faced a long jail sentence. Abduction is a serious crime.
Back to the teacher in my life. Personally, I don’t care if this guy was religious or not. He did what he did, and there is no excuse for it. His religious stance, and teacher authority do not condone what he did. The familial collusion is a whole other Pandora’s box, yet to be addressed.
Now, even though this is still very much part of my life, and I do want to get it resolved – I lead a quiet life with purpose, and am not the least bit miserable. There are many things to enjoy, and be thankful for. Peace of mind, a sound mind, and the simple things in life, are the most rewarding. I keep reminding myself “the just shall live by faith”. It brings great comfort.
I know eventually the truth, and the motives behind all of this, will come to light. I just have to be patient.
I cannot help but believe he used the opportunity to score one for the devil. He did not succeed, thank God. When his day of reckoning comes, I hope he realizes the enormity of harm he has done, and repents.
One of the positives in this story, is that our mother accepted Christ years before she died. I was fortunate enough to visit her on her deathbed, while she was still lucid. She was radiant, and had no fear of death. She knew she was dying.
She told me she had already walked on the road with Jesus. She had so many near death experiences, I knew she was being candid. It was such a blessing to see her before she died. It was very important to both of us. I thank God to have seen her.
If not for the teacher, our dysfunctional family background would not have been disclosed. In order to get free of him, after trying for years to speak directly to them, as well as members of my own family, I had no other choice. When people do not respect boundaries, it means you have to go to the authorities.
In addition to contacting the police, I contacted the Alberta Teacher’s Association, The Canadian Teachers Federation, the school board, and the school I attended. I contacted the Ministry of Children and Families, and Alberta Victim’s of Crime.
It took all of that and more, to get this bullying teacher off my back. The RCMP acknowledged the wrongdoing, and the potential for charges. They also talked about the fact it might be difficult to get witnesses to agree to making statements, especially after a number of years had gone by.
But I know what he did, and I also know many others were witness to it. Most of us know it is a crime to force anyone, let alone an underage kid into a car, and then forcibly confine them all night long. He did this many times, from late November, until I graduated in early June.
The discussion I had with the RCMP, was enough to convince me that if this case had been brought to them at the time, he would have been arrested for abduction, forcible confinement, and making repeated fraudulent claims. I am not prepared to be punished, or scapegoated any longer for the crimes he committed.
One of the primary reasons cults do not want you to get away, is because it takes until you do get away, to piece together all the brainwashing tactics, coercion, theurgy, and bewitching mind control.
They were always so concerned with what I am thinking. They can read my blog, because finally, I am freely sharing what I am thinking. I hope he reads this, and realizes he did a crappy job of thought reforming me.
I would like him to know he has no power over me. Yes I do think about what he did, because it went on for so long, and involved so many people. But I take it as an experience that drew me closer to God, and the truth in the Bible. So in an indirect way, the hoodoo sortilege, helped me to sort things out.
After our mother died, it confirmed in my mind in the weeks, and months to follow – just how barbaric the teacher was. What kind of person forcibly confines a person, to repeat a litany of lies, identity assault, and tells a kid their mother is wicked and non-redeemable? It just goes to show the magnitude of his arrogance, deception, and cruelty. I do not care who judges me for the fact I reported him to everyone I could think of. They pushed me to the limits of human endurance.
In my opinion, this is an example of a long and drawn out crime, because those who set it up, were not held accountable at the onset of this depraved plot.
I am glad I am not in a position to judge him, because I am not quite sure how I would handle it. God can deal with him. I never could. The contradictions of biblical truth compared to what this teacher did, are glaringly obvious.
The reason I find it so difficult to forgive the teacher, is because it is next to impossible to separate the broken record of lies surrounding my own identity, from his disordered character and persona. I reject all of the lies, and therefore I reject him as the gross entity, or assemblage of those lies.
It is kind of like looking at the reflective glare of his glasses during those all night brainwashing sessions, without being able to see the soulless character behind the glare. It is like trying to forgive a blinding mass of lies that came out of a cavern somewhere.
When someone lies like that, and you barely knew him to begin with, you do not know who, or what, you are trying to forgive. I reject all the lies, as a matter of preserving my own soul and identity. If I try to separate him as a person, from all his lies, what is left? Not much.
I guess to try and figure out this Christian conundrum, enigma, or quandary surrounding forgiveness, it requires an ability to see the heart and humanity of the person somehow. It means we should separate the sin from the sinner. When I try to do so, all I see is an empty shell. I pray to be able to find a way to forgive this person, without accepting any of the lies.
It is also difficult to let go of something so hideous, when the punishment for setting a boundary, and commitment to truth – continues to flog me. When family is so deeply involved in such a scheme, it is next to impossible to stop the punishment, if they will not agree to stop it.
God tells us to honour our mother and father. It is mentioned throughout the Bible, and is the fifth commandment.
God hates a liar, and a lying tongue. It is at the top of the list of things condemned by God. Proverbs 6: 16-19, Proverbs 18: 21, Revelation 21:8 says ALL liars will go into the lake of fire.
I was a silly woman, and certainly did have sin in my life. The teacher did try to creep in and take over my house. They seemed to think my home was going to be their retirement home, complete with maid service.
As I become more familiar with the Bible, there are hundreds of verses to contradict the indoctrination and lies drummed into me by this pseudo Christian teacher. I wish I had been strong enough, and well versed enough to refute those lies. By their fruits we shall know them – Mathew 7:15-20:
At the end of the day, and the end of the age, can we finally see, understand, and hear why God tells us to repent? If so, we have much to be thankful for.
Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. May God bless this thanksgiving, with peace, truth, and love.
Sir Walter Scott’s well crafted quote from 1808; “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” is a classic axiom.
None of us are totally innocent when it comes to lying. It is just that some people are very brazen, and lie with a purpose. They have no shame, or conscience when it comes to lying. It is as natural as breathing.
Most of the little white lies, are designed to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or to embellish a good story.
But the pathway for chronic liars, and lying, is a crooked one indeed. There is no excuse to be made for any lies, because little white lies, can easily become whoppers. It is especially so if the liar has made gains out of lying, without ever facing any consequences.
A chronic liar, eventually will not be believed about anything, even if he does tell the truth. It is one thing to lie about your own life, but it is another story when a person lies about someone else, and tries to create a false narrative around their life.
They will do this sort of thing to cover wrongdoing, to set the stage for exploitation, and to create a pretence of being something they are not. Once they embark upon those big lies, and repeat them often, they cannot easily back out of them. They create their own trap.
It happens in businesses, in religious circles, in schools, in communities, in families, in marriages, and in true crime. I always used to think, “If your wife can’t trust you, who can?” No one.
Pathological liars will take things a step further, and manipulate others into advancing their lies. They seem to think if they repeat the lies often enough, and corrupt those around them to maintain the lies, they will create concepts set in stone. Lying creates an unstable foundation. It will eventually crumble.
Lying goes with all kinds of ulterior motives, from stealing, to sexual assault, to adultery, to crime, and to cause harm to the reputation of those who are being lied about. Often, if a person becomes a threat to someone who has something to hide, that person will become a target of a malicious, and deceptive character assassination.
Even though we have all told lies, it does not make it okay to lie. In fact, it is one of the things God hates most. I can see why too. It leads to countless problems, and is often the precursor to serious crimes. In the bible, the devil is called the “father of lies”.
Deception is probably the single most damaging thing in the entire world. It leads to all kinds of injustices, murders, cover-ups, family breakdown, and broken relationships across all walks of life. It rips families apart, destroys businesses, and worst of all, it erodes trust. Trust is part of the foundation of love.
In true crime, police detectives will interview a suspect over and over, to catch him in his lies. A person has to have a very good memory, in order to lie effectively. Once they are caught in a lie, their whole story starts to unravel.
Politicians are known to lie. Some are far worse than others. We rely on political leadership. Lying erodes the foundation of democracy, and leads to widespread corruption. All politicians are in temporary positions where they can, and do, wield power. But if they deceive the masses, and abuse that power, they will get voted out, and leave the stain of their own flawed character, on the political party they represent, and the history of a nation, a province, a municipality, or a city. All for what?
One of the key things to note about almost all liars, is they are also arrogant. They seem to think they will never get caught. They must view lying as a sign of their own cleverness, and guile. They are invincible, untouchable, and as slick as a greased pig.
I have watched several tell all interviews on a YouTube show called Soft White Underbelly by Mark Laita. He interviews people from all walks of life, in particular the seedy side of life. Some of the interviews are quite amazing, some are sad, and some are too off the wall to even listen to.
Those interviews do shed some light on crime, addiction, prostitution, porn, child abuse, organized crime, self-destruction, Only Fans, strippers, nudists, thieves, murderers, etc.
He also features war veterans, Navy Seals, survivors, homicide detectives, and every kind of extreme – from heroes to hackers, to whackos.
One of the guys he interviewed was a counterfeiter. He had a degree in graphics arts, and was also a functional addict. He had a girlfriend, and the two of them would travel from city to city, and live out of hotel rooms. They had all the counterfeit equipment in their luggage. It actually did not require much equipment. A laptop, a printer, the right kind of paper, some colours to mix, and a few small tools for applying the seals, and fine touches.
Their pattern was to get up in the morning, and make the money, which required concentration, precision, and care. He was quite disciplined to get the work done first thing in the morning. Then when they had a wad of bills, they would go out on the town – shopping, buying drugs, fancy dinners, and then hit the clubs.
The next morning they would move on, before the shops, and restaurants found out they had taken in counterfeit money, and where it came from. The guy was so good at making it, he even stood confidently, while people put the bills under intense counterfeit scrutiny. He had managed to find ways to overcome almost every test they came up with.
Eventually they did get caught. He got caught because he started using the money to buy larger quantities of drugs. The dealers figured out he was using counterfeit money. Because it was well done, they wanted more of it. In the end, he got busted because of the drug dealers he became involved with.
As it turned out, instead of a ten year prison sentence, the FBI offered him a deal to teach classes on the methods he used, and to disclose where he got the special seals, pigments etc. He had perfected the colour shading, using the pigments in eyeshadows, of all things. He said he spent hours and hours in the cosmetic sections of department stores looking for the right shade of green.
One of the counterfeit tests, is to hold the bill up to the light, and tilt it, to see if the colours, and metallic glint is perfectly matched. There is another test that picks up a counterfeit silver mark, which is applied separately to help distinguish the real from the fake. He found a place online that sold those silver symbols, as perfect undetectable replicas.
He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend, and gave up the drugs, which was a blessing. After that, he got a plea deal, and went on to teach about counterfeiting, how it is done, and how to recognize it. Part of his plea deal was that he must tell the truth, and hold nothing back, which he agreed to.
The same thing happened to a brilliant and sophisticated hacker. He went from being homeless to becoming a multimillionaire, until he got caught. He was not an addict, but out of desperation, living out of his car, after his parents kicked him out as a teenager, he met a girl who believed in him. He moved in with her, got a computer, and started hacking to make money. His story is mind boggling. He was able to hack into anything, and everything, as well as to point out the vulnerabilities in any system.
So he too, got busted, and then got hired to identify vulnerabilities in computer systems, and demonstrate how easy it is to hack into them.
The interesting thing about both of these guys, compared to the other criminals he interviewed, is that they were humble. They did not brag, and they came clean on everything they had done, and how they did it. They knew it was wrong, and they were relieved to find a way to confess, and then go on to lead more honest, law abiding lives, while still using their exceptional talent.
But in the cases of hard core addicts, convicts, and mafia bosses, one of the biggest differences, is they were profoundly arrogant. In many cases you could tell they were either embellishing, or hiding things, to make themselves appear less barbaric, or more heroic.
Some of them had absolutely nothing to be arrogant about. They were shameless though, and were arrogant over the worst behaviours known to humans. It is perplexing to see how much people can deceive themselves.
In many of the interviews, you can tell the person has a penchant for self deception more than anything. One 74 year old, overweight woman, who was portraying herself as a star on Only Fans, as a well seasoned sex symbol – claimed to be making hundreds of thousands of dollars every few months.
Some of her video shoots were cringe worthy. Not that I am body shaming a 74 year old woman. But, when combined with some of the outfits, attitude, language, and activities she was advertising, it was hard to believe. Only Fans definitely has an “anything goes” hypothesis. But the big question is – where does it go?
As the interview went on, she started talking about buying a truck for her son. She described a used truck for $4,000.00 and then went on to say she put a $1,000 down payment, and then financed the rest. She was proud of being able to make the purchase for her son, when in the past, she had no means to do so.
There may have been an element of truth to her story, but if she really was making hundreds of thousands of dollars every few months, wouldn’t you think she could just buy a truck for her son?
So many of those stories are obviously, and dramatically embellished, yet if you read the comments, they all seem to believe every word of it.
First of all, drug addicts, ex-convicts, strippers, thieves, and prostitutes are not known for being brutally honest. In such a world, and with lifestyles that rely upon deceiving people, they are not likely to be telling the truth. The interview itself is opportunism, and in the case of Only Fans, porn stars, and escorts, they are using it as another marketing platform.
Chronic and pathological lying is a character disorder. Not all liars are murderers, but you can be pretty sure that most murderers are also liars. Chronic lying will erode a person’s character, and will often lead to worse things.
Even if a person does not get caught – eventually all those lies will catch up to them. Like getting caught in a squirming school of jelly fish, every single one of those lies will come back to bite, and entangle them.
We should all do a lying inventory, on a regular basis. If we have lied, we should confess, and apologize. If we keep lying, God will send us strong delusion, and we will lose the ability to discern the truth.
Ultimately God has no mercy for unrepentant liars. We cannot keep truth, and lying in the same household, or even within the same soul. We have to honour and seek the truth. There is no middle ground.
Now you might say, what if someone asks you if you like their horrible green and yellow hair do? Do you say, it’s nauseating and hideous, because it is what you are thinking?
Or worse yet, what if your good friend asks you if you think their wife is having an affair, and you have seen her with the other person? You might know it is no secret, and he is the last to know.
Even for people who seek the truth, and want to be honest, we can be put in some dicey situations. Perhaps with the green and yellow hair, you could ask them if they like it, and are happy with it. And then let them know, it does not matter what everyone else thinks. After all – it’s their hair.
The same with the question about the affair. You could ask your friend why they are suspicious, and what has caused the trust to erode? You might be able to be honest, without being brutal.
In one awful true crime case, a young man was suspicious of his wife, because of the way she was acting. He talked to his best friend about it, without having a clue it was his best friend who was having an affair with his wife. Of course the best friend lied to him.
These two guys had been best friends since childhood. Their parents went to the same church, and they both met their future wives in Sunday school. They were each other’s best men and bridesmaids at their weddings, and gave an outward appearance of living happily ever after.
The lying best friend sold his buddy a million dollar life insurance plan, and then plotted with his wife to kill him. One can hardly imagine the shock that poor man felt in the moments before his best friend shot him in the face.
He lured him into going duck hunting, and then pushed him overboard, thinking his waders would drown him. However, he managed to get out of the waders and swim to a nearby stump. As he clung to it calling for help, his buddy circled round, got close to him, and shot him point blank.
He then hid and buried his body in a murky swamp, where it stayed for over twenty years. This case was kept alive by the victim’s mother. She was relentless in her search for her son, and wrote something like 9000 letters to law enforcement over the years. She knew who had done it.
The reason the mother knew who had done the crime is because of the way her daughter in law had acted after the disappearance. She did not want anyone looking for him. In fact she was furious when her mother in law put up billboards, seeking help from the public to find her son.
The daughter in law collected the million dollars on the insurance policy, and after just a few months, the murderer moved in with her, and they got married. Both of them were steeped in adultery and deception, and the marriage fell apart.
After the marriage dissolved, they were out to kill each other, because of all their secrets. He hid in her car with a kill kit and a gun, and kidnapped her at gunpoint. He ordered her to drive to a remote location, but she drove into a busy downtown area and parked under a surveillance camera. She managed to convince him to get out of the car, and they could resume the conversation later on, with the hope of resolving and reconciling. She had no such intentions, and promptly drove to the nearest police station and reported the kidnapping.
When she reported the kidnapping, the detectives wanted more background, as in – what about the missing husband from twenty years ago? She adamantly refused to talk about it. She gave them orders to deal with the kidnapping, and don’t ask questions. She was haughty and arrogant.
They arrested her ex for the kidnapping, and offered him a plea deal, which he took. He had to show where the body was, and give all the details of the crime, as well as her involvement. When they found the body, after twenty years, he still had his wedding ring on his finger.
The woman, to her shock and dismay, got a longer prison sentence than the man who carried out the murder. He got the maximum sentence for kidnapping, and she got charged with conspiracy to commit murder.
The mother of the victim finally got her wish, which was to find out what happened to her son. She never let the case go cold. She lived to see justice, even though it was heartbreaking to realize the adultery, lying, and eventual murder that evolved out of these church families who knew each other all their lives.
The guy who killed his best friend was one of the sleaziest men you could ever imagine. Even when he gave his detailed testimony, and described all the affairs, the murder plot, and the crime itself, he was arrogant. He said they believed they were like David and Bathsheba, and would be forgiven by God, so it was no big deal. What an incredible way to rationalize a most horrific betrayal and crime.
One of the big differences is that David was immediately filled with remorse, and confessed what he had done. He was devastated.
In this case, the killer got away with the crime for twenty years, and they lived on the insurance blood money, without a conscience. Neither one of them had any remorse. Nor did they have any compassion for the grief stricken mother. The murderer only confessed to save his own skin.
He ended up whining incessantly over the fact he was given the maximum sentence for kidnapping, because they had agreed not to charge him for the murder. Talk about a delusional couple. They both believed they had been mistreated by the system when they got sentenced. Neither one of them ever demonstrated remorse. The victim was a faithful, hardworking husband. But they never had a shred of remorse.
We cannot be free of all character flaws, and lying is certainly one of them. But we can be aware of how important it is to avoid lying, to be trustworthy, and to confess any lies we do find ourselves caught in.
When we recognize and admit wrongdoing, it is an opportunity to abandon such things in the future. If we don’t acknowledge our faults, how can we change? If we keep lying, we can become hardened, and not even care after awhile.
The advice to guard our hearts, is not only to protect ourselves from wolves in sheep’s clothing, but also to protect ourselves from becoming the wolf. If we become chronic liars, chances are, we are a wolf too.
So purging the lies, is a way of keeping a pure and honest heart. You may not get any credit for it in the short term, but a clear conscience in the long run, is more valuable than gold.
If we can manage to stop deceiving ourselves, and deceiving others, we can pray for wisdom and discernment. We will not have either, if we cannot first seek the truth.
A path of lying can take people on a journey into the dark underbelly of life, and death. While the pathway to truth, is the journey to our sanctification, and redemption. If we believe in Christ, He will show us the way, the truth, and the life.
In many ways we are all solitary travellers, and the road we choose to take, is a matter of life and death. Although it was probably not written from a Christian perspective, Robert Frost captured the importance of a divergent path, and the choices we make in ‘The Road Not Taken” written in 1915.
As a child, I still vividly remember hearing this poem, and being fascinated by it, envisioning the scenery, and the man who stood pondering which way to go:
The scams are rampant these days, and seem to be getting worse. Some of the most common ones:
CRA scams will target people, often seniors, advising the person of a deposit to be made, with a link to open. If they can get a person to pick up the phone, they might tell them they owe CRA money, and will try to instil fear. I think it is best not to answer CRA calls, and never open a link to deposit money to your account. Instead login to your CRA account and check to see if there is an outstanding balance.
Fake shipping scams via text or email, are also very common. They will have a fairly convincing looking copy of the company logo. If you are not expecting a package, you can be pretty sure it is a phishing scam. If you are expecting a package, rather than respond to the potential scam, login to UPS, Canada Post, or whatever, and use the tracking number to check.
There are also scams posing as Amazon, warning you about suspicious charges on your credit card. Ignore them, and check the card, as well as the order info on the Amazon website.
The rule of thumb, first and foremost, is not to take the bait. Delete the message. And go to the source separately from any messages you get.
Suspicious emails will often have a long string of characters, instead of a corporate identity. After awhile, you learn to recognize the layout, and return email when it comes to your bank, PayPal etc.
Probably the most concerning, is when they send you a text giving you the first or last numbers of an account, and then saying there is suspicious activity on the account. It is cause for concern, because they do seem to have the account number.
In that case, once again, login and check your account. Change the passwords, and security questions. Some banks will allow you to change from using your client card number, to a username. If a scammer has your client card number, it makes sense to change to a username, as well as changing your password.
Many of us have been scammed, myself included. There are some very deceptive tactics. Be especially cautious of Interac e-transfers. When I was scammed, it was due to an e-transfer. I had to change accounts, and send a notarized declaration to the bank, to say I did not give anyone access to the account.
After that, you have to change all the automatic deposits, withdrawals etc. So prevention is better than having to deal with the aftermath. Like any other form of invasion, or theft, it leaves you feeling vulnerable, and trying to figure out how it happened.
It is a good idea to clear the cache on your computer on a regular basis, and check all the security and privacy settings.
As far as online shopping, it might be a good idea to get a pre-paid Visa card, which can be set up in certain banks, and can also be purchased from Canada Post for $10. You can load the card at the post office, if you want to avoid doing so online using your bank information. The card seems to be secure with an online login, and detailed list of all transactions. You can use it like a regular card. When you are planning on making a purchase, or purchases, you can load the amount you need, and otherwise keep the balance low. I have never had a scammer contact me in relation to the Canada Post Visa, but have had scammers contact me re the standard MasterCard.
Although I have not had any direct experience, I have read there are fake taxi scams, where a person buys a taxi sign off Amazon, and then sits at an airport. That is pretty scary, to think you might inadvertently get into a stranger’s vehicle. They will then use your debit card to access your account.
Others have reported that cards can be scanned while they are on your person. Once again, this seems incredible. I use a metal business card holder for bank cards. I think one of the greatest vulnerabilities is the use of tap. It may be convenient, but it is too convenient. If someone manages to steal your card, they do not have to know the pin number, or anything in order to use it.
We have been lulled into a world of convenience. But when you get scammed, convenience goes out the window. It is very inconvenient to have to deal with a scam. Apparently it is also very difficult to catch the scammers.
It seems the best approach is to avoid responding to any unknown contacts. In my opinion, this includes online surveys, claims you have won a prize, robocalls, etc. Be highly suspicious of anything that tries to convey a sense of urgency, or demands a response.
We do not have to answer the phone when it comes to unknown callers. We do not have to respond to unsolicited text messages or emails. If we did not initiate the contact, chances are they want something from us.
Personally, I do not save passwords on any device due to the syncing, and hacking potential. I believe it increases vulnerability. I also believe it is important to be vary cautious who you hire to file your taxes, and who you give access to when it comes to filing. Unless you have a very complex situation, it is probably best to file your own taxes. There is now some very good tax filing software that makes it easier to file, as well as to track any potential errors.
For those who have a lot of money, of course things are much more complicated, and likely, they will have sophisticated measures in place to protect their accounts.
But for the average Joe, we are sitting ducks, if we don’t use vigilance and care. Keep a list of your accounts, and check them frequently to stay on top of things. Never click on a link when you get an unsolicited email or text.
If someone makes a shipping error, and sends you something you did not order, wait and see what happens. It is difficult to contact an organization when you do not have a purchase order, a record of purchase, or payment.
We are not responsible for the incompetence of a business, that does not properly process, ship or track an item. If they send something you did not order, wait awhile, see if they send someone to pick it up, and then after three or four weeks, donate it. There have been scams that create a huge hassle for a person, in order to return a product to they can gain access to your account, over a shipping error.
Given all the addiction, and street crime, I think it is safer to keep bank cards, phone, and keys in a zippered pocket, or a fanny pack around your waist, as opposed to carrying a large hand bag when out walking. In some cases, it might be better to just bring one debit card, as opposed to a wallet full.
It is unfortunate to see such a rise in scams, and trickery. Yet we really cannot avoid the fact that all records are online. This includes all financial, and medical records, and websites we visit.
You will also notice how many websites offer something free. But in most cases, it is only a free trial, and after a 14-30 day period, they will be charging you full price. They want to get you hooked into the subscription.
Recently I answered an online questionnaire about shoulder pain. The website claimed they would help identify the problem free of charge. I knew darn well, they would get you to answer thirty questions, then ask for money at the end, before telling you anything.
So just to see, I answered the questions, and sure enough, at the end, they wanted money, even though they advertised it as free. Unless you want to waste your time, don’t fall for the free ads. But what it did for me, was it helped identify the specific movements that caused the pain. Then after I narrowed it down, I was able to see that it was likely a rotator cuff injury.
When I thought about it, I realized how I got the injury lifting and moving container plants. So I evaluated anything that might worsen it, and stopped doing anything to cause strain, as well as started exercise to help with range of motion.
In addition to being vigilant over financial institutions, we also have to be vigilant over our health, because the system is overloaded as it is. I know there are many people who discredit any attempts to self-diagnose. But I think if it is something you can evaluate, and then take measures to see if it will improve – why not?
Some people adamantly believe in yearly check-ups, taking doctors advice as gospel, taking whatever prescription medication they are prescribed, and going through whatever diagnostic tests they are told to go through.
Once again, I think it is wise to maintain autonomy, and evaluation over our own health. If we have something seriously wrong, we will have to go to a doctor or hospital. We know our own body better than anyone else does. Once you notice something is off, it means we need to evaluate the cause, and change something to see if it improves.
Just like it is not a good idea to turn our financial matters over to every scam or contact, we should also be wary of drug promotions, and turning our physical selves over to the system, if we can help it.
It is not a matter of rejecting all things, but rather, sharpening our discernment, and making careful choices, based on what we are experiencing and observing. Some people turn themselves over to a doctor, like they would take a used car to a mechanic, and say “fix it”.
However, personal responsibility means exercising caution, and good judgement. We all make mistakes, and worse yet, we can all be deceived, or misled. It is not to suggest that certain diagnostic tests, and certain medications are not beneficial, the same as not all deals, or sales are scams.
We just have to become more adept at filtering, and sorting the good from the bad. I think we also need to trust our intuition, and gain confidence in our own better judgement. Experts are not always experts, and advice is not always sound advice. I think we should always be able to take it or leave it when it comes to our own lives, health, and ability to steer clear of trouble.
Obviously I cannot answer this question from a secular perspective. Probably no one can. The division, or more aptly the chasm presented on future predictions, is a rivalry between atheism, various world religions, and authentic Christianity, based on biblical prophecy.
Millions of people try to figure out the future. Some are atheists and secular humanists, and see a future based on AI, science, and transhumanism. This gives rise to all the body altering and anti-aging ideas, as well as the concept of freezing bodies for a future revival. It alters the course of humanity, and claims to have control over the way the future unfolds.
In my opinion, AI is based on programming by humans. It is structured the way they want to structure it. It cannot take on a life of its own, because it is technology, and is not alive.
The exceptional growth of AI does transcend certain human capacities, based on the massive amounts of data, computational abilities, and what can be extrapolated from the data.
One scientist, using ChatGPT was able to gather data, and set up tables on drug reactions covering over 6000 drugs. After doing so, he broke it down into classes of drugs, countries, age groups, and so on. This kind of information can be beneficial, and provide some valuable insights on large collections of data.
The same goes for economics, and numbers, because AI is geared toward mathematical compilations. Modelling has been widely used for many years, however as we saw with covid, it can be wildly inaccurate.
AI certainly has its limitations, which in my opinion, relates most of all to language. The nuances, figures of speech, and patterns in language, are not as easy to interpret correctly like numbers are. If you listen to ChatGPT stories, they mispronounce multiple words, to the point it sounds automated and fake. If there is such brilliance, why can’t they pronounce Versace?
Can AI discern human emotions, human motives, and human intuition? I think the answer is no. Given the limitations of AI, one would be wise to see it as a valuable tool in data analysis, mathematical computations, research, and to a certain more limited extent, language, beliefs, and the human condition. It is far from infallible, as we have seen from modelling, to science fiction like dystopian worldviews, to word usage.
Although there are psychics, and people who predict the future on every topic, from the stock market to finding dead bodies, most are either vague, fallible, or both.
Nostradamus was probably the most famous of all, when it comes to secular predictions. To determine who he was, including his background, and how he came to be so famous, contains many layers, and multifarious quatrains. Regardless, most of his predictions were rather vague, as it is with most psychics, horoscopes, and predictions based on astrology.
Nostradamus was born in France in 1503 to a wealthy and prominent Jewish family. His grandfather was a physician, and he too, became a physician. At the time, astrology was part of the required studies, because it was believed to be part of health for some reason.
Therefore he was an astrologer, a physician, a seer, and was also considered to be a scientist. In the 16th century, there was not much distinction between science, astrology, and mysticism.
Beginning in 1549 Nostradamus began publishing a yearly almanac predicting the weather. The almanac also included other future events, and it became a well known yearly publication until his death in 1566. He was also very interested in plagues, and predicting health outcomes.
Interestingly, he wrote most of his material in poetic quatrains, or four line stanzas. This led to his most famous works “Les Propheties” or “The Prophecies” consisting of a hundred quatrains in groups of ten. The groups were described as “Centuries” but did not refer to actual centuries in the timelines as we know them. This means his most famous, world renowned work, basically consisted of four hundred lines of verse.
Since verse contains a lot of symbolism, metaphor, and ambiguity, not everyone agrees that he actually predicted the events credited to him. Those events include the great fire of London, the rise of Napoleon and Hitler, the dawn of the atomic age, the Sept 11 attacks on the World Trade Centre, and many more.
However, the predictions were not very clear. The reasons for this is supposedly because he feared being persecuted by the church, for using astrology to make the claim of having prophetic visions. Others say it was because it gave him leeway for all the inaccuracies.
In addition to astrology, he believed in Hinduism, and the coming of the Hindu god Kalki Avatar to save people, and destroy the wicked. But like so many of his prophecies, he did not mention Hinduism, or this god by name. He made reference to these beliefs in his quatrains, so they were always open to interpretation.
As far as the question, how accurate were these predictions? They were as unerring as you want them to be. In addition to the material being written in verse, was the fact it was written in archaic French language of the era. Verse, due to its skeletal structure, is very difficult to translate.
Archaic, and ambiguous verse written in the 16th century, is even more difficult to translate with any accuracy. So not only are the predictions unclear, and easily misconstrued, but so too, was the language and translation of the quatrains.
If anything, the conclusion surrounding the world’s most famous soothsayer, it tells us such predictions cannot be relied upon. In fact, it was rather arrogant of him to call his quatrains prophecy. He should have known better. Four hundred elusive quatrains can hardly be aligned with future events, without doing a few contortions.
On the other hand, the bible, if you are a believer, is the only truly prophetic written word in existence. In contrast to Nostradamus, the Bible contains over 31,000 verses in 66 books, averaging 471 verses per book.
To the non-believer, the bible does not contain accurate prophecies. However there are many historical records to align with scripture. There is much speculation surrounding the events of the past, as well as the future prophetic events. When we believe the bible, we place our trust in what it says.
Even among bible believing Christians, we often misconstrue, or misinterpret what we do not understand. I was listening to a podcast this morning published by an intelligent person who has done a significant amount of research.
His conclusions about the falsehoods surrounding dispensationalism made a lot of sense. But as he went on into more detail about his beliefs regarding future biblical prophecies, I could not follow his logic around the interpretation of future events.
He does not believe in a future millennial reign of Christ on earth. He believes this millennial reign has been in existence since Christ died on the cross. He also does not believe Satan will be bound when Christ returns. He believes Satan has already been bound. Therefore he views what most of us see as prophetic events to be filled in the future, as having already happened.
I did not listen to all of his theories, but it seems he believes these important events are in the past, because he does not understand how or why Satan would be released again, after the thousand year reign. He also believes Christ is reigning now, therefore it cannot be projected into a future millennial reign.
I went back and re-read the Book of Revelation, and many other verses pertaining to the future of this world, and cannot see how the millennial reign of Christ can be denied, placed in the past, or present, or viewed as metaphorical. This fellow used the argument that many of us are mistaken, because we have a literalistic view of the scriptures. I disagree. We are not limited to a literalistic view at all.
The bible is full of symbolism, metaphors, figures of speech, and literalism. It contains a rich collection of language style and phraseology, combined with past, present and future tense. It was written by forty different authors, each with their own expressive literary style. In my opinion, the combination of God’s inspired words, exquisite literary ability, and divine spiritual understanding, makes it the highest literary achievement of all time.
When we read about Christ’s time on earth with the disciples, and all the descriptions of how he healed so many people, is that not literal? They are describing actual events concerning the healing of physical bodies.
When we read verses about the seven spirits of God, and being born of the spirit, we know those descriptions are not describing the flesh. When we read about the beasts in the Book of Revelation, we know those are metaphorical descriptions of kingdoms, or dominant world powers. The dragon represents Satan. The horns on the beast represents kings. Therefore, when we read the bible, we are reading a combination of language constructs.
Although there are many things in the bible I do not fully understand, I have faith they will one day be revealed. However I do not see how anyone could believe Satan has been bound. We are seeing far too much violence, lawlessness, deception, abominations, and crisis after crisis, all throughout the world.
The bible actually tells us Satan is roaming the earth, knowing he has little time left, so he is more aggressive than ever. He has been roaming the earth, since he was cast out of heaven with one third of the angels, who chose to follow him. The only time Satan is bound, is written in the Book of Revelation 20: Verses 1-3:
Why, after a thousand years is he loosed for a little season? This is perplexing for sure. But to disregard all the verses describing the millennial reign of Christ, is not the answer to this question. There has to be a reason, whether we understand it or not.
I believe the thousand year millennial reign has to be be a literal reign. For believers, and overall, we know Christ has the ultimate victory, and we know He reigns in our own hearts and minds right now. We also know He will return to the earth, in power and glory. There are many verses telling us when this happens, it is for a period of a thousand years.
Some people believe we all go to heaven, but there is no biblical basis for such a belief. The verses that tell us about the future events, make frequent reference to the earth, to the nations, and locations of where all these things take place.
The binding of Satan, and the peaceful thousand year reign is not the finale. It is part of the process. The bible tells us the whole earth will be filled with the knowledge of God. Obviously we have a lot to learn. It also tells us we will have some role in the final judgement day, when the rest of the dead (non-believers) will be resurrected to face judgment.
The ending of the millennial reign is very significant, to include the final judgment day, and the temporary release of Satan, as another very climactic event. It represents the complete eradication of sin, death, and the world as we have known it. It is the fulfillment of the time period, and preparation required – to usher in the eternal kingdom of God.
The millennial reign of Christ is a distinct period of time, with a distinct purpose. When this period of time ends, and the new earth is created, God will come to the earth to be with His people. There will be no night, and there will be no sun or sea. There will be no more sin, no more death, no more pain, no more crying, no more conflict, no more rejection, no more deception, We will all be partakers of the fruits from tree of life. God will be the light of the world. The description of the new earth, is different than it is during the 1000 year reign.
This ultimate defeat of all evil, and of death itself, to include a new earth and a new heaven, is something that happens after the millennial reign. For some reason, many preachers choose to ignore, or blot out this important 1000 year period, that is outlined in the bible prophecy.
For those who believe the thousand year reign is happening now, and has been since Christ was crucified and raised from the dead, they explain the contradiction of timelines, based on the fact Christ was raised from the dead 2000 years ago, by saying the thousand year reign, just means a very long time. I think to make such an interpretive stretch, is not what the bible intends. Of course people can believe what they choose to believe. But as Christians we are advised to diligently seek the truth, and test all spirits.
There has never been a time on this earth, since the Garden of Eden, where a child can lead a lion, or when there has been no war or violence. Clearly we are looking at future events, not past or present. The same with the binding of Satan. This binding of Satan, is not the current state of affairs, and nor has it happened in the past.
The 1000 year reign is mentioned several times in the Book of Revelation. It is not a metaphor, nor is it an obscure hidden message. It is going to be a time of rest and restoration, of peace, and joy as all things settle into harmony. Even the beasts of the earth are no longer fierce toward people, or other animals. We will be able to coexist without living in fear of people or animals. It is something to look forward to with hope and gratitude.
In fact, the Book of Revelation is about the revelation and return of Jesus Christ. He is revealed to us in His word, and in His spirit. The events leading up to His return are unfolding. Things are heating up. He will bring peace to this earth, and when He does, it will be a shakeup like none other.
There are so many falsehoods, we need to pray for faith, discernment, and truth, now more than ever before. Deception is becoming increasingly sophisticated. Thought reform is injected into all of the media platforms.
More than anything, it is a percentage of the professing Christians who are leading people astray with faulty interpretations of the bible. Every time I read these interpretations, I go back to what the bible actually says. I hope and pray I am not misinterpreting what I read, and urge all people to read it for themselves. We cannot rely on someone else to interpret God’s word. We most certainly can learn from others, but we have to test all things.
This not only pertains to God’s word, but also to the media, and other platforms bent on filling our minds with deception and trivia. They want to tell us what to think, and shame us for wrong think. If you support a certain political party, the opposing party will take one espoused belief by someone in the other party, and accuse all of the electorate of being conspiracy theorists, or anti-science, or whatever.
We do not all think the same way. Our values and priorities differ. Individualism is not a bad thing. It is the way we are. If someone in Northern BC believes 5G towers cause cancer, so be it. We all have God-given free will, as well as the Charter Right to our own thought, belief and opinions, as long as it does not project prejudice, or harm to others. If people have a lifestyle or belief we do not agree with, we still do not have the right to interfere with their choices, or judge them.
There are Christians who go to abortion clinics, to try and prevent abortions. They often get arrested. Or they attend gay pride events, to try and rebuke those choices. I know some will disagree, but I personally do not believe we have the right to interfere with what other people are doing, if the laws permit it.
We have to acknowledge that non-believers are under the law, and so are we. The only way we are not under the law, is because we have ethics, and beliefs based on love, mercy, forgiveness, kindness, gentleness, and faith. For these things are not under the law.
For one thing, abortion clinics, bar rooms, pride celebrations, etc. are places where people have a lawful right to attend, or use their services. As Christians, if we see those as being places to avoid, then avoid them. Do not try to force others to avoid them, because it is not the time or the place, to try and reform what others believe in, or choose to do. We do not control the free will of other people. It is enough to gain self-control, and recognize our own sins.
It is not lawful on the part of Christians to try and stop someone from doing what this secular world by law, permits them to do. Just because I do not believe we should interfere with the rights of others, does not mean I agree with all things they do. Nor do I agree with all the things I once did.
If non-believers showed up outside a church, and tried to stop people from entering, the police would be called. If they tried to hand out Mormon or JW tracts outside a Baptist church, they would be told to leave. If they tried to take over the podium, and preach their own beliefs or lifestyle, they would also be asked to leave.
Christians, like all people, should realize they could be misguided, especially when it comes to self-righteous judgement of other people. We all need to respect boundaries, and realize that God Himself, does not force people to believe, to love Him, to change their ways, or to stop sinning. If the decision to repent is not done freely, it is not true repentance, because repentance involves a change of heart.
Christians who try to control, intervene, or impose their beliefs onto others are completely off- base. There are many criminals who identify as Christians. I was forced into a car, forcibly confined, and forced into a relationship with a teacher, based on lies, dominance, and threats.
He believed God had told him to adopt me. I was not up for adoption. There was no adoption of course. He also believed he was in the role of a god over my life. I now know, and knew at the time, he was completely off the rails. But he was so arrogant, self-righteous, and willing to abuse power, I was overwhelmed and ganged up on.
Therefore, I learned the hard way, how people can call themselves Christians, yet have no respect for the laws, or the rights of other people. Satan is the father of lies, and I know full well the teacher was a pathological liar. During his incessant brainwashing, he repeated one lie after another, and tried to gaslight all of my memories, and attempts to reason with him. To this day, I face repercussions for rejecting his lies, and lifelong exploitation.
Anyone who uses unlawful force over another person, who is not under their jurisdiction, like what the teacher did to me, and then justifies it by saying “intervention was required” is a liar and a crook. If intervention really was required, there are lawful ways to go about it. It does not apply to a student, who is the target of an obsessive and corrupt teacher, who has a god delusion.
Such self-righteous behaviour is repugnant to the average person, and rightly so. Christians who are controlling, lying, disrespecting boundaries, refuse to acknowledge free will, and the rights of others, can easily become so delusional, they do criminal acts. Criminal acts under the guise of Christianity, have been committed since the beginning of time.
Abortion doctors have been shot, people have been killed through aggressive exorcisms. Others have been abducted and held captive. The outcome of misinterpreting the bible, or in thinking God is speaking to them, and giving them commands has led to the rise of cults, insanity, and horrific crimes.
It is not up to us to seek out, and point out the sins of other people. Repentance, forgiveness, and sanctification comes by the grace of God, and what Christ did for us on the cross. We do not in any way prevail over the free will He has given to other people. By all means, we should help people, be kind, charitable, encouraging etc. But that is to be done without making demands on them, or judging them. Take note of what it says in Revelation 22:11
11 He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still.
Beware of those who say, “God told me such and such” especially if it is about your life. I remember saying to the teacher, “Since it is my life, why wouldn’t God tell me too?” I also asked him if God spoke to him out of the sky, or the walls – or what?
People can gain a lot of power over vulnerable or gullible people, if they pretend God is giving them the authority to do so. We need to keep in mind, God does not operate that way. His communication with us is through His word, and through prayer. The bible is the authority when it comes to God’s instructions over our lives. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, because they are lying if they do claim to be speaking for God.
It is not a Christian perspective to use force, or to control another adult. If we do not like what someone is doing, we remove ourselves. If it is a matter of protecting another person, we contact the authorities. Otherwise, we accept people, pray for them, and encourage them in whatever way we can.
We have to respect the choices other people make. Many churches have been infiltrated with prosperity gospel, circus like entertainment, and what not. But these things happen subtly, and with permission. If people in the congregation view it as a deviation from the true gospel, they leave the church, and find another one. Or they stand up as a member of the church and try to talk sense into people. These differences often lead to significant conflicts, and splits.
There are churches steeped in outward appearances, and the love of money. There is pride, vanity, deception, gossip, and exploitation in some churches. We all have to examine our own lives first, and foremost. We never have the right to violate boundaries, in order to control another adult.
The attempt to control a spouse, has led to countless divorces. Even though we should love one another, people cannot be controlled, and love cannot be forced, or it is not love.
Even if a tyrant does manage to control his family, they will grow to hate him. You cannot know, or dictate what is in another person’s heart or mind. Only Christ knows what is in our hearts. If there is truly love among people, they will trust each other, and care for each other because of love, not because of control.
The bible tells us not to believe in psychics, sorcerers, those who try and communicate with the dead, and those who preach a different gospel. Beware of those who claim to have messages directly from God. Read the bible yourself, because the apostles are the ones who were given instructions by God to write down what they saw.
Beware of those who write books, and spend more time on sales pitches to sell, and get people to read those books, as opposed to reading the bible. They are more concerned about exalting themselves and getting rich, than they are about promoting the bible.
The bible, and the ages – are not broken up into seven dispensations. That is based on the teachings of John Darby and Scofield, not God. The bible does not teach or describe a pre-tribulation rapture. Once again, the concept is a part of the Darby dispensational false teaching. False doctrines are described as doctrines of devils.
Another controversy among Christian beliefs is with regards to what happens to the unrepentant non-believers? Some preachers adamantly claim they will face eternal punishment, and torment in the lake of fire. People who preach this, and believe it, speak about it with absolute certainty. But are they wrong? And why would God torment people forever?
Once again, they take certain scriptures and fit them into a mindset. The bible does say the devil, and the false prophet will be punished forever. But all of the verses describing what happens to people, points to death. There are at least a hundred verses to support this, so it is difficult to understand how or why anyone would adhere to the eternal torment concept. There could certainly be temporary torment, but not eternal torment. They will die and cease to exist.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sinne is death: but the gift of God is eternall life, through Iesus Christ our Lord.
Psalm 37:10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.
We were given many warnings not to be deceived. When people misrepresent scripture, it is very easy to be led astray, if we do not know what the scripture actually says. The Book of Revelation is probably used to fear monger, and deceive people, more than any other book of the bible. For the believer, it is filled with hope, and awe, and of things to come – not scare tactics.
Keep in mind – the word antichrist is not in the Book of Revelation either. All the things we hear about a single formidable antichrist, is based on potentially faulty interpretations. The following is what the bible does say about the antichrist(s). Notice the warning about the antichrist as described in the bible, is not depicting a single individual, who rises to dominate the world in the end times.
If the antichrist actually was a single powerful and influential person, then why would the word be mentioned only in John, and not in Revelation? And why would its usage be plural, and not singular? The truth is – the antichrist is a spirit of unbelief and rejection of Christ. There are many people, of all demographics and eras, who fall into this category.
2 John 1:7 For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.
The Book of Revelation does speak about Satan, the false prophet, and those who take the mark of the beast. But it does not mention the word antichrist. The book of John mentions antichrist, and states there are many. So to somehow come up with this monumental figurehead superimposed somehow over Satan himself seems rather misleading, and doubtful. It may be the stuff of Hollywood, similar to the rapture, but it is not actually described in the bible, unless you choose to believe it based on what man is teaching, not on what God is teaching.
If someone who has an alternative lifestyle, or recognizes the error of his or her ways, is seeking another way of living, or has a desire to know God, then by all means, we can share the gospel, and support their desire to change direction, or seek forgiveness, as we ourselves have done.
As far as what the future holds for ourselves and our children, I most certainly do not believe in what the astrologers and psychics have said throughout history.
I do believe in the bible, and see it as the only way we can possibly understand what is in our future, and what it all means. The great battle between what is good, and what is evil is unfolding, whether we see it or not.
Even though there is controversy, and apostasy in some of the churches, those who are in Christ, are one body of believers, and are like-minded in this regard, for Christ shows us the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). No one can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39).
The battle between good and evil is outstretched from the very first chapters in Genesis, when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil – to the final chapters in Revelation. It is where all of the knowledge of good and evil comes to fruition, into a dynamic polarization, battle of Armageddon (Revelation 16:16), and the defeat of all things evil.
This battle includes all things earthly, all things heavenly, all thing fleshly, and all things spiritual. We cannot see or understand all of it, because we are not God. Therefore we are told to repent, put our trust in God, and live by faith.
For the believers, it is important to study the bible. According to biblical timelines, the earth is now around 6000 years old. Although we do not know the time of Christ’s return, we do know what the bible tells us about it. We also know according to Genesis the world was created in six days, and on the seventh day God rested. We see the significance of number seven in many places throughout the bible, so it makes sense the millennial reign could be in the seventh millennium. Matthew 24: 11-14 does give us some insight as to the state of the world before He returns:
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There is little dispute about the number of cruelties human beings have managed to inflict upon each other. The obvious acts of cruelty are violence, incitement of violence, and untamed words of anger and hatred.
However lies, deception, gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal – often under the pretence of love and kindness, are some of the worst things we have to endure. The classic betrayal happens in marriages, when one partner sneaks around and has an affair. Often, even though the other partner might suspect it, or even if they confront the offending partner, they continue to lie.
But there are countless other forms of betrayal, in families, in businesses, in advertising, and in government propaganda. When people are betrayed, they are often angry, and feel victimized. Sometimes anger leads to revenge. Sometimes lies and betrayal leads to crimes of violence.
Religion, politics, and the media, all carry their own special brand of lying, and sophisticated avenues of deception. This can lead to mass indoctrination, which has happened many times throughout history, and continues to happen to this day. In fact the deceptions have grown exponentially, due to the increase in broadcasting platforms, and the rapid dissemination of information.
The rise in independent publications has helped to balance, or warn people of intentional deceptions, but sometimes it only adds to the confusion. People get accused of being conspiracy theorists, and of spreading misinformation.
The task therefore is to discern what the truth is, and how we might protect ourselves from betrayal. Probably one of the most obvious forms of betrayal is found in romance scams. When it comes to emotional hoodwinking, some people are extremely gullible.
Healthy marriages help to protect people from predators. Unhealthy marriages can expose people to one of the most deadly situations of all, which is the love triangle. Love triangles have led to countless murders.
When marriages break down – the children are harmed, often beyond repair, because the illusion of trust and security is shattered. Things are not what they expected them to be. In all likelihood, the split partners are then subjected to the risks associated with online dating, and trying to find a partner, when there are children in the picture.
If the split happened because of an affair, the task to integrate the children into the new relationship, is full of court battles, custody arrangements, child support, and the need to forgive, in order to be able to effectively juggle it all. Some people do manage it, but life does become more complicated.
I listened to a woman tell her story of being a victim of a romance scam. Although it was not her fault, she did have a responsibility to protect herself, to guard her heart, and her bank account.
Many people find partners through online dating, without being scammed. She happened to come across a slick con man, but in her case, there were many red flags. For some reason, she chose to ignore those warning signs.
For starters, she was taken in by elaborate stories of riches, family catastrophes, and secrecy. Anyone who is involved in online dating should familiarize themselves with the patterns surrounding romance scams. They follow a certain template, even though some are a little more discreet than others are. Real life is often mundane and ordinary. Fiction is full of James Bond like episodes.
The basic template is one of riches, flattery and grandiose promises. The relationship is often advanced very quickly, with love bombing, and an attempt to pull the person away from other relationships, and friendships, because the perpetrator wants the undivided attention of his or her target.
Once they have the person on the hook, they start reeling them in. They add more elaborate layers to their plot. In the case of the woman describing her situation, her lover was not available in the evenings. She could not call him at home. Eventually she found out he was married.
In the organized crime template, once the person is on the hook, and being reeled in, all of a sudden the perp has an unforeseen drama. It might be an accident, an issue with a business partner, bank account, or tragedy in the family. This is used to garner sympathy, and the pooling, or pulling together of their combined resources.
The victim has already been love bombed with flattery and promises, so she accepts and trusts this sudden change of circumstances. The perp needs her help, and of course she is willing to help, because they are planning on building a life together.
So the cycle begins. First it is a few hundred, or a few thousand dollars. Then there is another explanation in order to get more money. Once the person is sucked into such a scheme, they find it increasingly difficult to get out of. To extricate themselves, they have to see the writing on the wall, admit they have been scammed, and terminate the relationship.
They have to deal with the recognition of both the emotional abuse, and the financial abuse, and cut their losses. The sooner they do this, the better off they are. Some of them allow it to go on, to the point they bankrupt themselves.
Many people who get duped, feel very ashamed once they realize how foolish they were. The shame compounds the damages, because the victim has difficulty explaining how or why they could have been so dumb. He or she may have lost an inheritance for their children, or grandchildren, so they feel remorse in the aftermath of it all.
I think for anyone who is using social media or online dating, it would help to develop some criteria, or a checklist, to set emotions aside and evaluate what is going on. The checklist might include doing a reverse image look-up on the photo to see if they have set up a fake profile using someone else’s photo.
Other things might be to go on a romance scam site to see what the standard patterns are. And probably most of all, arrange a public place such as a coffee shop to meet. You can tell far more about a person when they are sitting in front of you, than you can online. There is no point in developing a relationship online, because it could be purely fictional.
In some way or another, we have all been deceived. If we are targeted by someone who sets out to deceive us, especially during a time when we are weak and vulnerable, we can get caught in their snare.
There are times when the person who is betrayed does not garner much sympathy, because they were foolish in believing all the lies. On the flip side of the coin, trust is the basic foundation for love. We have to put our trust in others, in order to love each other. It is a risk we all take.
I listened to the convoluted story of a homeless person in Seattle the other night. Although I really do not know if he was telling the truth or not, by the time he was finished, I came to the conclusion it was a con. Why? Because he never took responsibility, and each of his crimes was shrouded in a plausible explanation to make him look better.
At the age of eighteen, he ended up in prison for murder. He claimed he killed a guy who had molested his seven year old sister. Yet as the story went on, his sister was never brought up again. It is common knowledge that child sexual predators are the lowest of the low in the prison pecking order, so I began to wonder if he used it as an excuse to justify why he killed someone.
He also claimed his father was a Hell’s Angel, but he was not. However, as he described more of his background, and how the Hell’s Angels had covered his legal costs, and bail, it became evident he was part of the gang. Later on he described being kidnapped and beaten by gangsters, yet he never did admit being part of the gangster system.
His story was one colossal drama after another. He was portraying himself as both a hero, and a victim. Throughout the interview he was chain smoking. Toward the end, he claimed he had been diagnosed with not one, but two types of cancers.
The finale of his story was the depth of his victimization. When he got out of prison in his late thirties, he was given housing, and a job. But he did not give up his impulsive criminal behaviour, all with one excuse after another.
Even though he is deserving of sympathy, food, and shelter, I could not help but think he was telling a rather fictional story, in order to garner sympathy and get money. Even a person who is on the street needs food. He also had a dog to feed and care for, chain smoked, and admitted to taking drugs every day. His lifestyle would have cost him at least between two and three thousand a month.
He was clearly very intelligent, but somehow early in life, he lost his way, as a part of intergenerational patterns, and self deception. His story illustrated how instead of becoming the hero of his own story line, he was actually the victim of his own deception. As time went on, he sank deeper into the dysfunction and deception he had orchestrated. The only hope for this man, and for all of us – is to repent before we die. There is no merit in continuing to deny our own nature, and wrongdoing.
As I listened to this man, and all of his problems, it seemed like he was better off in prison. He never worked in his life, and when he was not in prison, he continued a life of crime. Then he ended up on the streets. It goes to show, there are some seasoned, and experienced criminals in the homeless camps.
Scams are becoming part of our daily lives, and are intruding into our phones, emails, and bank accounts. There are phishing scams claiming to be from Amazon, UPS, Fed Ex, Pay Pal, Canada Post, Banks, and CRA. Some of them are very sophisticated and use the logo, and even have YouTube videos to set people up for the scam.
The CRA scams target seniors, claiming you have a deposit, with a link to open. Amazon scams will tell you your credit card has suspicious activity. Delivery companies will tell you they were unable to deliver a package, so open a link for further details.
In every case, do not engage or open any links. When I get phishing scams from PayPal or UPS, they have a phishing email to forward it to. If you suspect something is a scam, Google the organization to see if there are reports of scams. In many cases you will see notifications telling you they will never send you a text message, etc. If you get a phishing email, look at the address it came from. Usually that will tell you it is from a hotmail account, or will have a long string of characters.
If you are concerned because you receive a message about your bank or credit cards, look them up separately or call the number on the back of the card to see if there really has been any suspicious activity. If UPS says you have a package they cannot deliver, login to the site and use the tracking number you were given. Usually it is fake and does not show up. One time the tracking number I entered showed a package being shipped from state to state. It weighed several hundred pounds, so I knew it had nothing to do with me.
Similar to the romance scams, the fraudsters send you a fake identity, and try to bait you into taking the hook. They try to instil a sense of urgency, because taking the hook, means you react. They are trying to get access to your accounts.
Another vulnerability is in passwords. Personally, I don’t think it is a good idea to save passwords on your devices. I know many people do, but in my opinion, hackers can get into any device.
A recent scam, is to contact people on social media, and get them involved in a fake investment plot, using gift cards. The victim willingly buys the gift cards, which are available in grocery stores, and department stores. They are then asked to send the code for the gift card to the scammer. The scammer gets the value of whatever is on the card, without leaving any banking, or credit card to trace. One elderly woman lost thousands of dollars, believing she was investing in a business from an old high school acquaintance who had contacted her via FaceBook.
Another elderly couple lost over $600,000 to an Amazon scam. They were duped into giving banking information with claims a parcel had been re-routed from Hong Kong and they had to pay the shipping, which would be refunded once it was sorted out. It was a con in order to get access to the funds in their bank account.
In my opinion if Amazon makes a mistake, which is usually a third party seller, it is up to them to remedy the mistake. You can go to the Amazon website, under Customer Service and follow up on a delayed refund etc. The rule of thumb is to not engage with whoever contacts you, then go directly to the organization to double check.
You do not send or receive a delivery without a legitimate tracking number. If you receive an order from an organization that you did not order, let them follow up to remedy it without giving them any credit card or bank info. After all, if you did not order it, you cannot get a mailing label to return it, and nor do you have an order number to follow up on because you did not make the purchase.
My response to having received something you did not order, is to wait a few weeks, and then donate it. There is no easy way to follow up on something you did not order. If a company cannot keep track of what they are doing, or find a way to remedy it – it is not my problem. I do not want to get involved in any third party seller scams.
PayPal is very good when it comes to helping prevent scams. They have an outline to help you identify phishing scams, as well as an email address to report them to. When I was charged on my PayPal account for a service I did not receive, it was resolved quickly.
One of the most well known betrayals of all time, is the betrayal of Christ by Judas Iscariot. Typical of human nature, Jesus was betrayed for money. Judas was the treasurer among the apostles, and was entrusted with the money. The biblical record involving the betrayal of Jesus, has many lessons, and deeper meanings.
The big difference of course, is that Christ was without sin, and was not fooled by the impending betrayal. He knew Judas was harbouring dark thoughts, even though he was pretending to be a follower of Christ. The final kiss Judas imparted onto Jesus, was symbolic of betrayal, hidden under the guise of love. In actual fact, the kiss was part of a scheme to identify Jesus to those who intended to crucify him.
The outcome for Judas was devastating. He realized his error, but it was too late. He tried to remedy the betrayal by giving the money back, and then ended up hanging himself. Part of what this betrayal teaches us, is the consequences of betrayal, and how it can set off a chain of events.
Even though we have all been deceived in some ways, we cannot under estimate the importance of seeking the truth. Christ warned us many times, not to be deceived. For those who do not seek and love the truth, the bible tells us – they are sent strong delusion, so they will believe lies. There are serious ramifications surrounding deception.
Truth is not a matter of opinion. Truth is truth. The opposite of truth is deception and lies. Sugar coated lies, are worse than anything. Attempts to force lies on us by those who abuse power, is appalling, and often there is little we can do about it.
Getting out from under the oppressive blanket of those who abuse power, and lie pathologically, is probably the most difficult challenge we will ever face.
Many pious Christians will condemn everything but lying and arrogance. Yet among the seven things listed in the Book of Proverbs that God hates the most – are lying and a haughty look. The list of things God hates embodies all of the terrible things stemming from self deception, and deceiving others. Pride, arrogance, scheming, and violence are the outcomes.
As crafty and arrogant as many liars are – they will lose. In my own life as a kid in school, I was taken captive by a high school teacher who ruthlessly brainwashed me with lies. He would force me into his car, and take me home with him for the night, indoctrinating me with a litany of falsehoods. As a student, and obsessive target of this teacher, I had nowhere to turn. It was horrible to the point of being torture.
I knew it was profoundly abusive, and to this day, I consider it to be the most abusive relationship by far, of my entire lifetime. It was downright sadistic, and never once did he consider I had every right to say no, or even the right to be who I am. I did not have the right to feel the way I feel, to think the way I think, or even to be a member of my own family.
He was especially dogmatic if I dared to think my mother was my mother. He pretended to be very hurt by such assertions on my part. I was raised by my mother, and looked just like her. Ironically her name was Joy, and I was nicknamed by our Swedish grandmother as a toddler, as Little Joy. I have always had a good memory, so of course I knew who my mother was from the day I was born.
I clearly remember when our younger brother was born, even though I was only fourteen months old at the time. We had a big black car with a red interior. He was put in a wicker basket on the floor in the back seat when he was brought home from the hospital. When we got home and all piled out of the car, our mother said “don’t step on the baby.”
I remember with great curiosity watching her change his diaper. When he peed, she said, “Oh he is a boy all right.” A month or so later she was holding him while sitting on the arm of a large upholstered chair. I was sitting on the couch falling asleep. She said, “you’re tired, it is time for bed.” I vehemently shook my head, no way, I was not tired. I got off the couch and walked across the floor, and fell over. She laughed and said, “see you are so tired!”
Of course I remember countless things about my childhood like anyone else. Why did the teacher and his wife think I would not remember? It is baffling to this day. They were total strangers to me, yet they pretended to have raised me. They did not raise me for one day of my upbringing. They created this pretence, and after awhile people seemed to believe it. I used to think – surely no one believes this. How could they? But carefully crafted lies, when repeated over and over again, soon become ingrained. They believe their own delusions.
The teacher was very authoritarian. Every time I refuted something he said, which was often, he would puff up, and threaten punishment. I was being defiant, and difficult to manage. He would claim I needed intervention, and was emotionally disturbed. He lied brazenly about things that are obvious and easy to prove.
He was also very determined to make sure I did not think I was smart, when I knew full well I had skipped a grade, and was academically gifted. Not to the extreme, but moderately so. He really honed in on shaming the intelligence out of me.
He was in his twenties at the time, and was married. He insisted I had the same IQ as his wife. I found such a claim to be really bizarre. I knew I did not have the same IQ on two given days, so how could I have the same IQ as his wife? It was like I could not even own my brain, or what I thought. He was in control of my mind, and my potential. He took credit for it, not me.
He repeated the IQ lie (along with many other lies for years). His wife did not accelerate through school, did not show any signs of academic giftedness, and did not graduate from nursing until she was in her mid twenties. The teacher forced me into a nursing program, so I could not accept a scholarship into an English lit program. Then he took credit for the fact I was a nurse. Once again, it was his accomplishment, not mine.
Even though I had no desire to be a nurse, I knew I had to get a post secondary education. So I did not quit and drop out even though I was very young. I did not find the courses difficult, but did not like the hospital part at all. On the wards, I felt it was all very strange, and worrisome. Like, what if I did not put one of those circular beds together properly, and dropped a person on their head? I always felt like a fish out of water. Fortunately, I did learn pretty quickly, to adapt and figure things out.
I ended up writing the RN exams when I was nineteen. As I got to know the teacher’s wife, I knew darn well she was not that bright. I used to think to myself – she married him, so how could she be bright? I tried to explain the teacher situation to the University English professor, who was trying to steer me into a scholarship program.
He was livid when he heard me stammering out why I had to stay in nursing, and how this teacher had taken control of my life. He told me it should be reported to the police. At the time, I was far too scared to do anything about it.
Eerily, during my last conversation with the teacher’s wife, she described to me in graphic detail how she had drowned the family cat in the rain barrel. I grew up on a farm, and carried the cats, and the chickens around like babies. I fed pigs and calves with a baby bottle. The notion of drowning a cat in a rain barrel was absolutely abhorrent to me. I do not have cats, and don’t think I have ever had a cat as an adult, but still – I have nothing against cats.
I do not believe in being cruel to animals at all, ever. She told me how she had injected the cat with some Valium she had brought home from where she had worked. She justified it by saying she took home the expired drugs. I wondered how many she had stockpiled before she retired. Expired drugs are supposed to be returned to the pharmacy.
I would not even recount any of this, if it had not been for the supreme arrogance I was subjected to by these people, lording their pharisaical superiority over me. They were “wonderful Christians” and I was chopped liver. They were monitoring, and exploiting me for reasons I could not conceive of for many years.
My home was supposed to be dedicated to them, as their own private vacation property, complete with maid service. My car was there for them to use. They would come and visit uninvited. There were times when I begged them not to visit, but they came anyway.
They had both become so controlling, she would tell me shhhh when I started talking in my own house. She would chastise me for opening the fridge to get a snack. Once again, it was my house and they were the guests.
I was paying the bills, and bought the food. It just illustrates how much gall, disrespect, and entitlement they had. They believed there was no way I could get rid of them. It was a life sentence. I could not go for a walk without them, even though he walked so slow, it was not what I had in mind when I went for a walk. I think it was just more of his passive aggressive behaviour.
By the time I made the decision to get them out of my life once and for all, the next visit they were planning, was for around three months. I could not stand a week with them. In fact, I got through the last visit minute, by painstaking minute.
As each minute ticked by, I told myself – “when they leave, I am not going to spend one more minute with these people.” Getting them out of my life, was a battle like none other. I kept my resolve, but wrangled to keep firm in my decision, for another twelve years, in spite of all the pressure. The bullying to resume the relationship, was like being back in school, or back on the farm.
In fact, it is still going on, because the punishment, and rejection for terminating the relationship, has become part of my life. It has become my lot in life, and cross to bear. I do not regret terminating the relationship. The only thing I do regret is allowing it to happen in the first place. I should have screamed blue murder, and gone to the police as a student, but I was seriously ganged up on.
I could never reconcile all of the extreme contradictions. When you cannot resolve such cognitive dissonance, or insolent hypocrisy, it is crazy making. They were the crazy ones, not me. I do not think it is okay to drown the family cat in a rain barrel. Take it to the SPCA, or a vet for crying out loud.
I do not think it is okay for a twenty eight year old teacher to follow, and chase a teenage girl around. None of it was okay. It has been an epic saga. Like many cult members, they were determined to pretend they were family. They were not my family in any way, shape or form.
The cat she drowned was quite a large cat, and the injection of Valium did not sedate it much, so she battled the cat to the finish. Since she had put on an old ski jacket, and heavy gauntlet gloves, I surmised she prepared herself, fully expecting it to fight for it’s life.
Apparently it did put up a real bonafide cat fight, trying desperately to get away. But she prevailed over the cat. I wonder what it felt like to have done such a thing, and be left standing there with a dead, soaking wet, bundle of flesh and fur? Did she bury it somewhere? Or turf it in the bush? I didn’t ask her the details. In my dumbfounded state, I did ask her “Why?”
She said, “Oh it was becoming quite a nuisance. It scratched the screens, and some of the furniture.” Well then don’t get a cat! The reason I never got a cat, is because I do not want kitty litter in my house, or a cat retching up a hair ball on my bed.
If they did not live in a remote location, and someonewould have witnessed it, she could have been arrested. Were they too cheap to take it to a vet? Or did she enjoy inflicting harm? Those were some of the things running through my mind.
I know the colour drained from my face as she told me about it. Since they had young grandchildren at the time, I asked her if there were any children there. She said no. But surely they must have asked what happened to the cat.
The final visit with them had many deeply disturbing elements, from the cat to the fish they were demanding. I was living on Haida Gwaii at the time, and they were bound and determined to force me to take enough fish to Alberta for their niece’s wedding. I did not even know their niece, but even if I did, who makes that kind of demand on another person?
I kept saying no, I don’t have enough fish for a wedding. Plus getting it there is no easy task. So I just kept saying no. They would not take no for an answer, as usual. The battle over both the fish and the cat, became quite symbolic to me.
There were so many occasions where I thought they were worse than moonshine hillbillies in the back woods. They showed up at all my family functions, acting like they were some kind of sanctimonious celebrities. In the back of my mind, I thought of them as the goon squad. Sorry but…
I did not have the exact same IQ as that cat snuffing woman. Some days I could breeze through an exam and ace it. Other days I felt tired and foggy. I distinctly remember waking up on exam days, and saying a prayer to be clear headed, because often I did not study much. The teacher’s focus on my mind, was a molestation of my mind. One day he is going to face judgement for what he did. I needed the teacher, like I needed a hole in the head.
I was verbal, and quite sassy. I tried everything under the sun to negate the bizarre things he was repeating to me. It was all to no avail, and is the reason my number one regret is not going to the police immediately. He should have had his licence as a teacher revoked, and he should have been arrested for abduction and forcible confinement.
He had no right to force me into a car, and then force me to sit and listen to his lunatic drivel for hours on end. He thought I had zero value as a person. I was no more than a stray dog or cat to torment for his amusement.
He was so arrogant, he seriously believed I would never escape it all. For years, I tried to reason with the teacher, and my own family members. I tried to extricate myself gracefully. I wanted to protect their reputations, in my role as a self-sacrificing sucker, by trying to be nice.
As a result, and to my own detriment, it went on for years. Reasoning with them was futile. So finally, I started to fight back. I reported it to the police, which I should have done the very first time I was chased down, and forced into his car. I was never under his jurisdiction. He took liberties as a teacher that no teacher should ever get away with.
After my onset of anger, during a time when I did say things I regret, it was clear, my heart had broken into open rebellion. Being nice did not cut it. In fact, the expectation of being nice, and a people pleaser, is exactly what they were taking advantage of.
It took many years to unravel it all, and get out from under the brainwashing. He was a fanatical religious fundamentalist, and had infiltrated my family. So for years, he was invited to every family function and treated as the daddy-god.
In hindsight, and after the benefit of some time and healing, I have mellowed. But I would never in a million years allow him to get near me again. He stared constantly, without blinking. It was profoundly creepy. In my opinion, he was bound and determined to destroy me. He constantly attacked my identity, my family history, my mind, emotions, and spirit. It was a soul destroying trap.
The one and only advantage to be extrapolated from such a foul and deceptive relationship, is I began seeking the truth, and started reading the Bible for myself. Much of what he heaped upon me, was religious indoctrination and shame. I realized he had lied about absolutely everything.
Although it was victimization, with countless re-victimizations, I do take responsibility for the fact I should not have allowed it to go on. I was actually being mocked as a fool. In some ways I deserved it, because allowing ourselves to be deceived, is a huge mistake. I am still facing the fall-out of having permitted such a colossal deception over my life to continue.
I can forgive my family members, because the family was fractured, and I believe this teacher took advantage of all of us in a diabolical way. I know we are to forgive those who trespass against us, so I do hope and pray I can figure out how to forgive the teacher as well.
The one important lesson I learned, and I suppose indirectly I can thank him for the lesson, is how cults operate, how liars operate, and how destructive it is. He was a false teacher and a false prophet. For his sake, the smartest thing he could do is admit to all the lies, and repent. During the time I knew him, he certainly did not show any sign of repentance. So who knows? I have never been so glad to be rid of someone, and thank God every single day to be free of his soul scorching deception.
The teacher carried out all of the things God hates, with the exception of shedding innocent blood. But he and his wife were both cruel to animals, and killed many of their pets, to include shooting a dog for getting excited and jumping up on someone, along with drowning a cat in a rain barrel. They killed many pets over the years.
When I was a student in school, he stalked and followed me outside of school, and chased me down, in order to force me into his car. So if you look at all the things God hates – he pretty much carried out all of them, over, and over, and over again. He was one determined individual, and it was only by the grace of God, I was finally able to disentangle myself from the cultish teacher.
There are many cult religions, and even within mainstream religions, there are cultish people who abuse people, through deceptive manipulation of bible verses, and spiritual abuse. This particular teacher was part of the Exclusive Brethren cult. He treated me as a non person who he could lie to, lie about, and manipulate at will.
From Proverbs Chapter 6, it is pretty clear to me now – the teacher in spite of his all encompassing hubris, he managed to do all of the things God hates. The admonishments to view him as a wonderful Christian was just more bullying manipulation and control.
He was a push in predator. Once they get a foot in the door, they push in, and take control of your life. If you ever come across a person like this, my advice is to slam the door in their face, dead bolt it, and be ready to call the cops.
I guess the conclusion is – no I do not view him as a wonderful Christian, and never did. In my heart, I always knew he was cruel and sadistic. I only wish I would have rejected every one of his lies, long before I did.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I was listening to a podcast on this topic, and although it may sound macabre to some, it was actually quite interesting.
The people being interviewed consisted of those with first hand testimonials, describing end of life scenarios with loved ones.
There was a group of people with family secrets, and back stories – revealed in the discussions about their family member’s deathbed experience.
Painful issues and outlines came out; from bigamy, to incest, childhood abuse, affairs, illegitimate children, and various conflicts leading up to long term estrangement.
All of these individuals gave a fairly detailed family history, and were able to express the emotional upheaval it caused for them.
For the most part, they were pointing out the range of family secrets, betrayals, misunderstandings, and the hope for resolution, and forgiveness, in the final days of life.
It represented a releasing of a multitude of memories, and mistakes. This often spanned decades, and more than one generation.
In many of these cases, it was the impending death itself that brought about the only chance for reconciliation and forgiveness.
In some cases, the person on their deathbed grappled more with the issues, than the family did. In other cases, it was the family, or one member of the family, who struggled the most. They tried, and often succeeded in overcoming past differences.
One woman had an intense desire to know who her biological father was. As a teenager, she found out her father was not her biological father. She learned she had been adopted by him as a young child. She had done her own investigation, searching for the truth of her past.
Her mother had lived in the country, and had given birth when she was just sixteen years old. She later married, therefore her illegitimate child was adopted by the man her mother married. Many people are probably aware of similar situations in their own families.
But for some reason, the adoption became a bone of contention between mother and daughter. The daughter could not get her mother to talk about it. She was stonewalled, and gaslighted every time she tried. Her mother told her she was crazy – making things up.
During the podcast interviews, long after her mother had died, the woman still strongly believed she had a right to know who her birth father was. She had trouble forgiving her mother for her refusal to tell her.
In spite of the fact her daughter had gone through freedom of information channels, to find her birth record, as well as the adoption record, her mother consistently denied the adoption.
Over the years, up to, and including her death, her mother never wavered in her resolve, adamantly maintaining her adoptive father, was in fact, her biological father.
Even on her deathbed, after years of badgering by her daughter, she never did admit it, or tell her who her biological father was. She took it to her grave.
Some people would just let it go. But such is human nature, for some to become obsessed with finding out the truth of their own birth, identity, and history.
In another situation, a daughter, as a teenager, who thought all was well in their family, found out her father was having an affair, and had a child with the other woman. He had also married the other woman, so he was a bigamist on top of it all.
It shattered his daughter’s illusion of their family life. His wife divorced him, and he moved to another country with his new wife and family.
The oldest daughter from his first marriage felt angry, and betrayed for many years, and was estranged from her father.
Finally she broke down, and went to visit him. Together, just the two of them went out for lunch, and sat down for a heart to heart, long-awaited chat. She envisioned this as being some quality, one on one time with her dad, to let bygones be bygones, and patch things up.
To her utter dismay, she learned her father had done the same thing all over again. He was about to leave his current wife, because he had married another woman. The third wife was expecting their second child.
So in his fifties, he had three or four young children, and two different women to support. The daughter was gobsmacked. She finally realized he had some fatal flaws.
She went home shocked, and appalled. She could not even finish her lunch on the day she met with him. She choked on her dumpling, and then got up and walked out.
Once again, they were estranged for a couple more years. At the time, she thought she was done with him.
However, it was not much later, her father became ill, was diagnosed with cancer, and realized he was dying. He had young children to consider, and his life was a mess. Once again, he was a bigamist.
As it turned out, his oldest daughter helped him, cared for him, and made arrangements for his young children to be cared for.
Clearly, all of it was a painful experience for her, but somehow she managed to put the well being of others ahead of her own feelings about all of it.
Perhaps more than anything, it highlights the need for validation of another person’s feelings within families, and the fatal flaws we carry with us to our graves.
In the first case, if her mother at some point would have admitted the adoption, the relationship would not have become so strained.
But who really knows why she would have withheld the information. It could have been the biological father was a preacher, a teacher, a neighbour, a married man, or even a family member.
Or it could have been the whole experience was so shameful, and at a time when unwed mothers were segregated, and hidden away, while simultaneously gossiped about, and judged as the proverbial bad girl, or girl in trouble – by everyone who suspected it.
Her mother may have used strong denial, to protect herself from more shame. It might have been too difficult for her mother to revist the whole ordeal.
At some point the daughter might be able to trace it through familial DNA websites, if she submits her own DNA, and then starts seeking matches.
There is little doubt. The family we are born into holds many untold stories, secrets, and skeletons in closets, rattling to get out. They are itching to escape with the truth, and dance on a few graves in the process.
In the second case, it truly is a poignant story about a daughter’s love, forgiveness, and restoration. In the end, her father and his young children, relied on her a great deal, even though he had abandoned her when she was young.
In addition to the grieving family members telling their stories, they also had a group of professionals contributing to the conversation.
There was a couple of palliative care nurses, an end of life doula, a couple of psychologists, and oddly enough – a funeral crasher.
It was actually kind of funny, because the professionals were aghast at the notion of an interloper, who would arrive on the scene of a sacred funeral, interrupt the service, and tell all.
They did not think it could possibly be well intentioned. They tried to coat their disdain in some professional lingo, but he didn’t care. He was speaking for the dead guy – not them.
The entrepreneur who does the funeral crashing, sees it as a growing trend. He said he began the career with one funeral, as a joke, doing it for a friend. From there, it morphed into a full time business, with multiple referrals.
Since the dead don’t give referrals, it must be the theme or concept of funeral crashing, rapidly gaining in popularity.
He unabashedly said he makes a good living at it. He explained he is hired to do a job, the same as anyone else. He sits down with a client, and together they draft up the funeral crashing contract.
Therefore, he has an obligation to do what his client wants him to do. He charges between $2000, and $10,000 to crash a funeral.
He clarified his role as being the final voice, the emissary, or agent – called upon to carry out the deathbed wishes of the person in the coffin.
In spite of the pejorative and judgemental remarks toward his occupation, he blew them off. He was speaking for the dead. They hired him to do the job. He respects their wishes, and honours the agreement.
He rationalized it by saying they are not taking their money with them, and they can spend it however they want to.
In his role, he would boldly interrupt a funeral, and read out the message from the dead person. In once case, he called out the best friend of the deceased for hitting on, and sleeping with his wife, while he was sick.
In another case, a man with a large family, and a reputation for being a brilliant, and successful businessman – wanted the truth to be known.
He had been a fraud. It was a conscience clearing confessional of sorts. He wanted it to finally be known to everyone at his funeral, that he did not make his money in business at all.
In fact, he had won a lottery when he was in his early twenties, and managed to keep it under wraps, as he went on to get married, and start a family.
He did invest wisely over several decades, and did not blow it all, like so many lottery winners do. So to his credit, he did have some business acumen. He made a joke of it, and left all of them with a sizeable inheritance. A truly – dearly departed type story.
Others were not so lucky, and had some vitriol for ex wives, and ex business partners, as well as people who were false friends.
In spite of the negativities toward the funeral crasher, for making a living off these deathbed wishes, he had no feelings of shame at all, for doing so.
He told the psychologists they were essentially doing the same thing. They too were profiting off the hardships, emotions, and difficulties – where there is a coming to terms, with betrayals that are part of life.
He basically said they were taking money with similar motives. Only they wrap everything in euphemisms, and keep it all hidden from view, whispering in the shadows.
I suppose in a practical sense, there must be some legalities surrounding the role of being a funeral crasher. If the dead person is paying for his or her own funeral, one would think they can have some control over how it is carried out.
It just goes to show you, some people can reach out, and orchestrate a few things, even after they are gone.
The funeral crasher is not limited to speaking at funerals only. Sometimes he reads the messages at end of life celebrations, or during the reading of wills.
The nice nurses, along with the prim and proper psychologists, thought it was just awful, vengeful, and demonstrating a symptom of narcissism.
His final quip was “Hey. Don’t shoot the messenger.” Fair enough. He still has work to do.
When his time comes – someone might try to bury him with his foot in his mouth!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The rampant addiction and overdose deaths continue to rise, and create crisis after crisis for families, communities, health care, and education.
The issue of addiction has creeped into every nook and cranny of our lives. If we ourselves have not battled it, someone in our family has.
The old adage “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” applies to the topic of addiction, probably more than most health related issues.
When asking the question about how to prevent addiction, and where does it start? For most of us, the obvious answer is that it begins in the home, and must be recognized how much early developmental learning, comes through observation, emotions, and intergenerational patterns.
First of all, we need to be cognizant of how our own parents managed addiction. In many cases, addicted children have addicted parents. Even if the parent does overcome the addiction at some point, the children are still prone to addiction, and such vulnerabilities cannot be overlooked.
We also have to be aware that parental addiction is not only about drugs and alcohol. It can also be manifested in workaholism, gambling, food, and various other forms of escapism, or habits.
The first step is in identifying increased vulnerability in ourselves, in our families, and especially for the sake of the children.
Children at most risk are those who are traumatized. Children who end up in foster care end up having more trauma than combat veterans. Children who are exposed to domestic violence, sexual assault, neglect, and shame, become hard wired to seek forms of escapism.
Our familial patterns can take many years to recognize and overcome. The effects of PTSD and profound shame associated with family of origin, cannot be shaken off in a few weeks or months.
Most of all, the emotional scars cannot be remedied with drugs or alcohol, as is so often the case. When someone tells another person to get help, what exactly does that mean?
Where do they get help? Paradoxically, every program is likely to focus on giving more drugs to combat the drug addiction. Why?
We can never under estimate the power of the pharmaceutical companies, and the role they play in contributing to widespread addiction. They want steady customers. Repeat customers are the proverbial cash cow.
Therefore many addiction programs will focus on harm reduction, which just means they substitute one drug for another. But as most of us familiar with how addiction works, we know that abstinence is the only cure. Prescription drugs can be just as deadly as street drugs.
Once a person enters a rehab facility or a treatment centre, or the mental health system, they are likely to be diagnosed with a mental health disorder, and prescribed psychotropic drugs. Often they are prescribed antipsychotics, which target the dopamine receptor sites, just as many other drugs do – especially opiates.
In addition, there is no real way to track how poly pharmaceuticals in conjunction with street drugs, can potentiate each other.
Not long ago I watched a YouTube show about a young woman who was around twenty years old, and ended up in rehab. She was bright, energetic, and had an outgoing gregarious personality. When she was in rehab, she became anxious and restless. They gave her benzodiazepines, which is the anti-anxiety class of drug, most commonly known as Valium, Ativan and the mood stabilizer Clonazepam.
Although benzodiazepines are not similar to opiates in how they work chemically, they are just as dangerous, just as addictive. People who become addicted to benzos require months, and sometimes years of very careful tapering to get off them.
When the young woman was discharged from rehab, she had a prescription for Valium. She was full of hope and had written a diary, to express her new found confidence in being able to kick her drug habit. Unfortunately, she was full of hope, but hopelessly naive.
She went home, and immediately got a job in a bar. She hooked up with old friends and was exposed to the usual party scene. She was still taking Valium during the day, and started drinking at night. Within a matter of weeks, she relapsed and started taking street drugs again. And shortly after that, she died of an overdose, leaving a grief stricken family behind.
How many times do we read about an addict relapsing a hundred times? Or going through a treatment program twelve to twenty times? In the US drug culture, they refer to this as body brokering. In other words, the system is designed to cycle people through treatment programs, with no intention of seeing them get off drugs.
They even have a referral system to see if the person has insurance, or wealthy parents, and they will get plugged into the treatment centre, get discharged, relapse, and go back for repeat treatments until they die, or the funds are exhausted.
For those of us who claim abstinence is the only way out, we get harm reduction advocates screaming blue murder. They will insist the quest for abstinence is killing people, and they will use histrionics and hyperbole, to fuel the steady, and ever increasing flow of drugs.
They will claim the push for recovery, through abstinence, represents a profound lack of compassion. But wanting to see people get well – is not a lack of compassion.
Addiction is very easy to fall into, and very difficult to climb out of. Therefore is makes sense to prioritize prevention. The cost of addiction is part of the profiteering malevolent cycle.
In order to tackle the problem of addiction, there has to be a complete paradigm shift. It starts in our minds, and in the minds of our children.
We understand there are laws to help protect us from physical, and sexual assault. But we have no laws to protect our minds and emotions from infiltration, and assault, by those wishing to exploit us, and rob our potential.
In fact, the assault on our minds and emotions can be just as deadly as physical assaults, yet the perpetrators never face any charges, because there is no outward bruising, or signs of assault.
The stage can be set for self-medicating psychic and emotional pain, long before the individual or family is aware of it. On behalf of children, we need to protect their minds and their emotions, as well as protect them physically.
We also need to be aware that we have become a pill pushing society. Every ailment has a pill to remedy it. We have come to believe we need those pills as a quick fix for every hindrance we face.
Children watch their parents, and grandparents use medication, and begin to see it as a normal part of life.
When I worked in ER, part of the history, and documentation to be entered on the patient’s chart, was to list the medications the person was taking. Often they did not even know the names of the drugs, or why they were taking them.
It was not uncommon for the patient to bring in a brown paper bag filled with bottles of pills. The ER staff would go through them, and write them down, because the patient could not list them all when questioned. One person could easily have fifteen or twenty prescription drugs in that bag. This was especially so for seniors.
Previously, I did some research, and wrote a blog post about the multiple classes of drugs prescribed to certain groups, and how they stacked up in relation to age, and demographics.
Not surprisingly, it was those in poverty, seniors, and Indigenous people, who were prescribed the most classes of drugs.
It is not to say people don’t require medication for certain ailments. It is just that we have learned to expect there is a pill for everything, from depression to high cholesterol, and every ache and pain that plagues us.
Instead, we should be focusing more on diet, nutrition, exercise, sleep, wellness, and stable routines. We need to find ways to have fun, without drugs and alcohol.
Sports, hobbies, fresh air, camping, music, learning, and positive relationships, with much care and attention to who we allow into our lives, will contribute to overall wellness. Music and sports probably top the list for young people, as healthy outlets.
Although we may have many regrets about our own addictive tendencies, and how we may have affected our children, we can only use what we have learned to try and help others. We cannot turn back the clock.
Therefore, overcoming addiction must carry forward with love, and forgiveness within families. We need to do so, without neglecting to validate the amount of emotional pain it has caused.
By the time a child enters school, many of the intrinsic coping mechanisms have already been established. If the schools genuinely want to help address the problem of addiction, and protect children, they must incorporate education about addiction into the school curriculums at every age level.
In addition to validating the effects of psychological and emotional pain, and the importance of protecting our minds and emotions, the education surrounding addiction is extensive.
How many kids have been put on Ritalin, then go on to use meth? How many of them were diagnosed with ADHD when really they were simply rambunctious, bright, high energy kids? Or maybe their lack of attention was an attempt to seek distractions, which is another form of escapism from emotional pain or trauma.
Instead of addressing the vulnerability, and properly assessing the child, they start them on drugs, in order to manage them, and keep them in line. It is the worst thing they could do to them.
How is any school going to begin to educate about addiction, if they are encouraging parents to put their kids on Ritalin?
To be sincere about wellness, the educational systems need to provide honest information about the effects of drugs on every system of the body. Just as kids learn the periodic table of elements to understand sodium, magnesium, calcium etc. they should also learn how these chemical elements affect the bodily systems.
The book “Molecules of Emotion” written in 1997 by Candace Pert made the connection between dopamine, endorphins, and the physiology between internal chemistry and emotions.
Candace Pert was a neuroscientist and pharmacologist who was credited with the discovery of opioid receptors in the brain, and the cellular binding site for endorphins in the body. She lectured about many related topics, and wrote a significant amount of material.
What I found interesting when I watched some of the interviews and lectures given by Candace Pert, is that she often had a can of Coke sitting beside her, instead of a bottle of water. Even though it is a minor thing, it is interesting to note, she too experienced the pitfalls of a form of addiction.
Candace Pert died at the age of 67 of congestive heart failure, and was clearly sick and overweight for at least the last ten years of her life.
She had the knowledge, but she still struggled with maintaining her own health. What can we learn from it?
The subject of molecules and emotion, and how it relates to knowledge is so complex, it transcends what our minds can grasp.
We are constantly seeking to feel good, to feel better, and to fill a void within us. If we reach for the wrong remedy, it becomes a bad habit. if we continue the habit, it becomes an addiction. If we continue the addiction, it will kill us.
We are the subjects of someone else’s profit motive, whether we realize it or not. So within this convoluted train wreck of addiction, there lies a profit motive, messaged toward us from every direction imaginable.
The advertising and propaganda is beamed into our brains. Greed, and the love of money – are two of the most essential components driving it at the higher levels. These motives are often concealed. We need to learn to be far less gullible.
Rather than allowing our minds and bodies to become a cauldron of chemical soup, we need to find ways to feel good without addictive substances. It is not always easy, that’s for sure.
It means we have to acknowledge the importance of the gut biome, as a very important part of the internal chemistry. We have to evaluate sugar, pop, and fast foods, as part of the attack upon our systems, because they too, set off a train reaction and increase our risk of addiction to harmful substances.
We have to find ways to cope with hardship, losses, and pain, without resorting to self-medicating. Fresh air, exercise, hobbies, adequate sleep, learning, our spiritual lives, our love for family and others – all contribute to our well-being.
Personally, I believe one of the worst things for our mental health, is shame. Although it is often children from homes steeped in poverty, addiction, instability, and trauma who feel the most shame, the burden of shame has no respecter of persons either.
Children from good homes can also feel ashamed and unworthy. Perhaps they are portrayed as the perfect child. Perfectionism is damaging, because no one is perfect.
Or maybe they have a sibling who is the apple of the parents eye, and they are not. All kinds of things can cause shame for a child. In fact, favouring one child over another wreaks havoc under the surface of many familial veneers.
Almost all families have some form of dysfunction. To make matters more difficult, we tend to be master’s when it comes to denial.
Shame increases vulnerability to addiction. It is another form of emotional pain that may seek to self-medicate. Addiction is best addressed in an open, and communicative environment within the family.
None of us can rightfully deny what the other is experiencing, because denial is also part of what fuels addiction. If there is denial, there is re-victimization.
On the flip side of shame, we see narcissism, which also represents a very fragile ego. The healthiest outlook is one of quiet confidence, without a need to be special, or talented, or use achievements in order to measure self worth.
There is no way to summarize the tip of an iceberg. We either hit it and go down, or we find a way to navigate around it.
In my humble opinion, and less than stellar background, all I can say is first and foremost – protect the mind and emotions, as well as the body from assaults, grooming, shaming, exploitation etc. Set boundaries, or the destructive people, and systems – will bowl you over without giving it a second thought.
Secondly – understand that for those who have addictive tendencies, which truthfully, is most of us, we need to abstain. For the addict, there is a constant need to fill the void with more, until there is a certain mood elevation, sleep, and then the cycle begins again.
This is not a stagnant cycle. It is a very active and ever increasing vortex, until that deep sleep brought about by the substance, ends up becoming a permanent sleep.
And finally, probably most important of all, is the fact we are not only made up of mind and body, we also coexist in a spiritual world. Therefore, we have to integrate ourselves with a belief system that transcends our physical world.
There is much criticism in our very secular world, towards those who acknowledge the importance of our spiritual beliefs, but regardless, they are probably at the heart of every recovery, and certainly the hope for a true recovery.
Candace Pert acknowledged the spiritual aspect of life, and unfortunately for her, she delved into New Age, instead of Christianity. Her expansive knowledge of pharmacology, and the chemistry of emotions, and how it led to her own spiritual beliefs, does reinforce that our spirituality is an ultimate quest.
It also tells us we not only must protect our minds, heart, and emotions – but more than anything, we also need to recognize and understand the importance of our spiritual lives, and what we choose to believe.
The void within us cannot be filled with harmful substances, because if we do, it is like feeding a wolf, prowling around with an insatiable hunger, and a determination to destroy us.
We cannot just take away the substance we are using to fill the abyss within us, because the emptiness will continue to haunt us, or we will fill it with something equally addictive.
We have to find our own pathway, and also find ways to fill the vacuity within us, with what is good, what is rewarding, and with what will sustain us for the long term.
Healing is both a journey, and a destination. It is metaphorically full of highwaymen with pistols, and wolves in sheep’s clothing.
There is a barren nihility, and a deep black hole, both on the inside, and on the outside, of this wrecking ball of the soul.
Somehow we need to learn to be wise, to be aware, and to be willing to do what we can, to prevent our children, and our grandchildren, from falling into the pit of addiction.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
After listening to, watching, and reading true crime stories over the years, I have drawn some conclusions. It’s not exactly a tried and true research project. But for sure, there are some common denominators.
Sadly, most murder victims are killed by someone they know. The biggest mistake a murder victim makes, is believing the person they are associated with, would not kill them.
Women who are in domestic violence situations, have been known to get back into a relationship with someone who beat them, and tried to choke them. Some have even gone out to meet the violent offender in a remote location, which just makes it easier for him to get rid of her.
Among the most high risk scenarios, are the intimate partner violence situations. Both men and women are at risk if there are affairs, impending divorce, custody battles, insurance policies, or assets to fight over.
A woman who is pregnant, and in a relationship where the partner does not want the child, is in a high risk situation. It is even more perilous, if it is a clandestine relationship.
Sometimes women intentionally get pregnant, to try and hold onto a man who is not fully committed. It is a high stakes situation, because she may have an illusion of love, or wishful thinking, that might be clouding her better judgement.
If she happens to be with someone who is desperate, is married to, or living with someone else, or who does not have much of a moral compass – she could be placing herself, and her unborn child in danger.
When people who believe they are in a committed relationship become suspicious of an affair, they should be on high alert.
They should also be very wary of million dollar life insurance policies that crop up all of a sudden, and often without a good reason. Some con artists have intentionally married someone, set up a life insurance policy, and then staged an accident three months later.
Gangster and drug turf murders, is part of the business, and for many, an expected outcome if they don’t get out of it, and make some serious lifestyle changes.
But to try and assess what happens to ordinary people, living fairly ordinary lives – affairs and family betrayal seem to top the list when it comes to murder.
It is even more tragic, because the person, or people who are targeting the victim, also have the most access, and trust. When murder occurs within families, all of the family members suffer, especially the children.
When spouses have affairs, one cannot overlook the fact, their spouse may have a lover, who is plotting to kill them. One of the most amazing things about it, is they are often church going couples. Just because someone goes to church, does not mean they are pure of heart.
Betrayal, affairs, divorce, break-ups, jealousy, money, and revenge seem to top the list of reasons, for family, and intimate partner murders.
Next to those murders, it seems to be neighbours who are the next likely culprits. Sometimes it is due to neighbourhood conflicts over property lines, noise, barking dogs, loud or fast vehicles, etc. Other times, it is a matter of being in proximity to a violent criminal.
Many neighbour conflicts escalate, and as the conflict heats up, so does the chance of violence or irrational reactions. One becomes paranoid of the aggressor, and sometimes it is the paranoid one who ends up committing the crime.
A couple of years ago in Toronto, five people in a condo were shot and killed by a deranged resident, who was in conflict with multiple people. I believe he managed to kill all of them, by going to their residence, and knocking on their door.
In other cases, there is not a conflict with the neighbour, but it is simply the proximity, and access to a victim. They are strangers for the most part, but nevertheless, their lives cross paths.
There was a case in Vancouver where an elderly couple were brutally murdered by a young man who lived nearby. He fixated on committing a violent crime, watched the couple for weeks to get familiar with their routines, and targeted them for unknown reasons. Possibly because they seemed vulnerable, and he believed he could overpower them.
The elderly man used a walker, so the young coward decided to ambush him in his own home. After that, he waited for the wife to come home from work. She barely got in the door, and he pounced on her. Thankfully, he got caught within a couple of weeks.
In London, a woman had a noise dispute with a nasty neighbour. The neighbour yapped about it endlessly to a boyfriend. One day, he brought a gun when he visited her, and to prove his tough guy loyalty, he committed murder. He simply went and knocked on the neighbours door, and shot her when she opened the door.
Closer to home, near Vancouver, a woman manipulated a neighbour into driving her around, lifting heavy objects etc. Being a nice guy, who was quiet and reserved, he had trouble saying no to her, so he complied.
But she too, had an unsavoury type boyfriend, who worked out of town two or three weeks, then was home for a week. While he was away, she used her neighbour as her driver, and lackey.
One day when he was driving her somewhere, she lit up a cigarette in his car. By this time, he was fed up with being used, and exploited. He felt trapped, and had been stewing about her constant demands. So he finally asserted himself, and told her to put the cigarette out.
She refused. So he stopped the car, and told her to get out. She refused.
What he probably should have done, was call the police. But instead, he went around to the passenger side of the car, opened the door, and tried to pull her out of the car.
She wailed and screamed, which did bring the police, and he was charged with assault.
When her boyfriend came home, she carried on about it to him. By this time, the police had heard both sides of the story, and dropped the assault charges.
Since they lived in the same condo, the woman’s boyfriend went over, kicked the door down, and seriously assaulted the neighbour, enough to put him in the hospital for ten days.
During his recovery, he realized he had no choice but to move. With the help of some family members, he found another apartment.
Meanwhile, because the boyfriend was charged with assault over the incident, he lost his job. So he had more rage, more time on his hands, and more hours to listen to the manipulative woman carrying on, and whining about being assaulted.
Instead of just accepting the fact the poor guy was moving to get away from it all, they would not let it go. They followed the moving truck, and he was murdered, before he even got moved into his new apartment.
In the cases, where women manipulated men to the point they committed violent crimes, the men were charged, and the women got off without any charges. Whether or not they learned from it, and stopped the nasty tactics, who knows?
In spite of the fact that most neighbours are helpful, and supportive, upholding a good community standard – clearly not all of them are.
Next to the affairs, intimate partners, and neighbours turning violent – would probably be co-workers, or business associates. Once again, people get duped into money schemes, and sometimes it costs them their lives.
Or sometimes a co-worker will start stalking a female worker, and when she rejects his advances, he gets mad. In other cases, a person gets fired, and then seeks revenge.
In one case, an executive, and mortgage broker took a deposit, and agreed to arrange a commercial loan. The loan was not approved, and for some reason the deposit of $18,000.00 was not returned.
Whatever their policy was, it was not made clear at the onset, because the would be borrower expected to get his money back.
He hounded the lender for months on end, and as time went on, the messages became increasingly agitated. He started to threaten violence.
Rather than return the deposit, the lender contacted the police in Toronto, and basically, they blew him off. They told him the threats were not specific enough. One of the threats was “if you live like a gangster, you will die like a gangster.” I am no expert on what constitutes a threat, but that sure “seems” like a threat.
If the guy had said something more specific, like his name, and then called him a gangster, therefore he was going to die like a gangster – would that have been specific enough I wonder?
Just four days later, the executive, husband, and father, was shot dead in the hallway, as he was walking into work. Even more alarming, a co-worker walked through the door just seconds later. She attempted to do CPR, but he died at the scene.
In many of these cases, there were signs. But the victim did not escape, even though they often knew they were in danger.
Other instances involve home invasions, botched robberies, and drug crazed killers doing something impulsive. The victims are in the wrong place at the wrong time.
One of the true crime detectives said that most homicides occur between midnight and two in the morning. He also stated that people often got murdered just based on something they said during an argument.
In an ideal world, we would be able to love and trust one another. Especially when it comes to spouses, families and neighbours. Fortunately for the most part we can love one another.
But we should also be astute, and cautious when it comes to blind trust.
Even though some people never get caught, and a certain percentage of cases go cold – no one ever truly gets away with murder.
They will always be waiting for that knock on the door, as DNA and the science of forensics becomes increasingly sophisticated. If not, their conscience might get to them.
An example of the conscience catching up to a guy, was related to a twenty year cold case. This man had murdered a woman at a party in a remote location. He was so drunk, he hardly remembered the circumstances or reasons for it, and since so one at the party even knew who he was, or knew the victim, it was a random murder.
It did weigh on him though. One day, he got what was a misdial or a wrong number from a drug store employee. The message was simply about a prescription in a cue, that had been filled, and was ready to be picked up.
Somehow when the employee had mistakenly left a message telling him his number had come up, so he could come in an pick up the prescription, he thought it was a ruse. He had not taken a prescription into the drugstore to be filled.
He kept dwelling on the words his “number was up”, and became certain he was being set up. He was afraid to go to the drugstore, and see what it was all about. He was afraid to even call them back.
So finally, after all those years, he went to the police station and turned himself in. When he gave the details only the killer would know, they realized it was true.
Luckily we live in a country with a fairly low homicide rate. In spite of the many reasons for homicide, fortunately the chances of being murdered is minimal. It is even more unlikely if you manage to steer clear of high risk devious schemes, and plots.
But murder goes right back to when Adam and Eve were first created in the Garden of Eden. Their son Cain, killed his brother Abel in a jealous rage.
Even though Cain tried to hide his crime, God immediately knew what he had done. By this example, we know that God knows when someone commits murder.
The Bible prophecies do tell us that as we approach the end of the age, there will be more murder, violence and chaos. It also tells us there will be more family betrayal.
As the seals in the Book of Revelation are opened one by one, it shows us the four horses of the apocalypse, and tells us what each one means.
All of them seem to represent conflict and death. The first horse is white, and sets out to conquer. The second horse is red, and represents war, and people killing one another.
The third horse is black, and represents famine, and an imbalance of food and resources. The final pale horse represents death, with hell or hades following close behind.
In addition, the Bible tells us the end times will be “as in the days of Noah”. Even though there was corruption, violence, wickedness etc. during that time frame, people were also living life as normal. At least to a certain extent, because we are told they were eating, drinking, and getting married.
So it appears life will become more perilous as time goes on. In spite of all these things, we are encouraged to be hopeful, and not filled with fear. We are to be aware, watchful, and remain faithful.
I guess the moral of the story, is to do our best to avoid getting into circumstances that might put our life in peril. But even so, we can be assured of one thing. No one gets away with murder.
The true miracle throughout all of the ages, is of Christ overcoming death and hell, with a promise of eternal life, and forgiveness for our sins. It is something that can sustain us, no matter what happens.
After awhile the fear of death has no power over us. What a relief it is to know we are saved.
For those who take issue with speaking ill of the dead – don’t worry, I realized this author was over rated, long before she was dead. Long before I delved into the details of her rather unsavoury background, and family betrayal.
Bear with me as I switch from past to present tense. I know her writing still exists, therefore it is. But she no longer exists, and for me, her writing is in past tense, therefore it was.
I will never pick it up again, except to do research, and try to expand our literary assessments, as opposed to being told what is good, when it is not good. The issue of addressing child sexual abuse, preventing it, and validating the testimonies of the victims, is far more important than the legacy of a deceased author. I never could understand why Alice Munro was promoted to such an extent.
For years, I would read the gushing reviews, and then try to read something she wrote. I would think to myself, this sounds like a trashy Harlequin romance or worse. What on earth do people see in this? In my opinion the sexism, and stereotyping of girls and women, was superficial, trite, and at times appalling.
I have made a point of reading famous authors to include Hemingway, Steinbeck, Dickens, Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, Jean Paul Sartre, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tolstoy, and Voltaire as some examples. I even delved into Schopenhauer at one point, but struggled with it due to the oppressive pessimism.
But nevertheless, I can understand why many authors are notable, and deserving of accolades. Even so, all art is subjective, so like beauty, the merit is in the eye of the beholder.
Alice Munro never once struck me as being a genius writer. Not even close. Her material was fictional, and narrowly limited in range and scope. It was repetitious ad nauseam, yet so many emanated how she was realistically showing the depth of the human condition. Hardly. If so, they were drawing from a shallow well.
Now that her daughter has come forward, it makes so much more sense to me why I found her work to be stomach turning. Reading between the lines, there was definitely something grotesque beneath the surface of all the slick linguistics.
The Globe & Mail wrote an article about her fight with censorship in the seventies. The article goes on to say that in 1976, the principal of Kenner Collegiate Vocational Institute in Peterborough, Ontario brought forth concerns about Alice Munro’s “The Lives Of Girls And Women” being taught in schools.
He had overheard a student claim it was pornographic. The central issue is that the story explicitly describes a man masturbating in front of a young girl.
In hindsight as we review the rearing of the ugly head of child molestation, and pornography in schools, we now know that Alice Munro’s husband molested her nine year old daughter, during the same time frame Alice Munro so vehemently defended her tacky material.
Her daughter was molested in the 1970s, in the same proximity of time the story “The Lives Of Girls And Women” was written. She wrote the short story in 1971, and went to great lengths to defend it in 1976 and 1977, which is when her daughter was molested.
The molestation did not stop after a single incident, because her daughter was exposed to the pedophile for years without protection. He molested her mind, in addition to molesting her body.
As far as Alice Munro defending her so-called literary stance on the topic, since when is it okay for a man to masturbate in front of a child? Since when is it okay to defend and protect the pedophile, instead of the child?
Throughout all of the letter writing, petitions, and attempts to have the material removed from the school curriculum, she never once backed down. She was proud of what she had written. She never expressed any doubts about why it might be viewed as inappropriate. She made jokes about being pornographic, making light of a very serious matter.
Her daughter on the other hand, struggled in a bleak, and lonely isolation for years, suffering from migraines, bulimia, shame, marginalization, and compound PTSD.
She finally told her mother about what her step-father had done to her. After that, the step-father wrote letters, trying to justify himself, and blame the victim, which helped to convict him after she finally went to the police. He said she was happy to go along with it, calling her a seductress, and a Little Lolita. How gross.
Alice Munro viewed her nine year old daughter as competition for his sexual interest, and was only concerned about how the molestation affected her life.
Alice Munro ultimately sided with her husband, and the relationship with her daughter was eventually terminated.
After she was made aware of her daughter’s sexual abuse, she never skipped a beat. She even had the gall to claim her husband had “many relationships” with young girls. In some cases of child molestation, family members have no clue. But in this case, it does appear that Alice Munro could have been an accessory to the crimes of her husband.
She seems to have viewed child molestation as a normal part of human sexuality. There is no other explanation for the cover up of the molestation of her own child. Nor is there any other explanation for her fierce defence of material she wrote describing a man masturbating in front of a girl.
When you consider her extensive writing about women, and the lives of women, she never once had a shred of empathy for her own daughter. How does such a callous attitude equate to understanding what girls and women actually experience?
Of course, as we all know by now, a pedophile will often have countless victims. It appears that from Alice Munro’s perspective, this was simply an expected part of the “Lives of Girls And Women”.
The big question one might ask is – why was she promoted so much? Not on merit, but on subject matter? And people wonder why there is a concern over the whole concept of pedophiles and grooming becoming a part of school curriculums?
In her backlash toward those who tried to censor her sexually explicit material in schools, she had the gall to claim there were many verses in the Bible that could be considered pornographic, if taken out of context.
Such a ludicrous claim does meet the definition of blasphemy. There is no basis for it whatsoever, nor could she support such a preposterous claim with a single example.
The only reason she would have come up with such an off base argument, is because she had no defence, and had the insolence and rebellion within her character to handle a challenge in such a manner. It shows far more about her character, and the indefensibility of her own hidden life, and lack of values.
Even though most of her writing is about the lives of girls and women, she did not do any of us any favours.
Few people dare to criticize Alice Munro, but I am not in any self-aggrandized literary circles, and I do not hesitate to lay bare, what she so cleverly tried to convey, and to conceal.
If anything, she was a master of deception, and supercilious self projections. On top of it all, her writing is banal and depressing. She spoke for no one but herself.
Of course anyone opposed to such lewdness as she conveyed, is labelled as a fundamentalist Christian.
But there are countless people who recognize there is an issue with what is being promoted in schools, specifically around improper sexual material. This unacceptable grooming includes stories like the one written by Alice Munro. Targeting the youth with explicit sexual propaganda, has been going on a very long time.
In response to some of the letter writing campaigns against Alice Munro’s description of a man masturbating in front of a young girl, she chose to fight back, making the absurd claim “If we don’t write about sex, it will disappear.”
I always did think she was bromidic and banal – but that one is a doozy.
Another sketchy aspect of her writing is that she would use the essence of stories written by Charles Dickens in “A Child’s History Of England”, and then reframed those stories to give them a happy ending. It borders on plagiarism, and certainly does not support the accolades she received as a creative genius who wrote original material.
When the children in Dickens stories were beheaded in the end, Alice Munro glibly stated “I changed the ending, so that wouldn’t happen.”
I realize the issue of censorship is a murky subject, and many books that have been censored did not appear to have valid reasons.
Six of the books written by Dr. Seuss have been censored. At One time the book about a horse called “Black Beauty” was censored. Two of George Orwell’s books “Animal Farm” and “1984” were censored. The list goes on to include “To Kill A Mockingbird” and Margaret Atwood’s “Handmaid’s Tale”.
In some cases the reasons seem ludicrous. Personally I do not think the topic of sexuality or sex scenes is a valid reason to censor a book.
But if the topic involves, or points toward the sexual abuse of a child, or child pornography in any way – then yes it should be at the very top of the chop list.
It has been years since I read “The Handmaid’s Tale” and other than thinking it was an awful book, like most of Atwood’s books are, I did not think it should be censored. In my opinion, Margaret Atwood is another highly over rated author.
Years ago, I went to the Vancouver writer’s festival, and listened to Margaret Atwood read something shewrote, that was pornographic, and disturbing. It was like ‘Uggh how awful to use her fame to subject us to such garbage”.
Immediately after Atwood’s zinger, a very strange guy got up supposedly to read a poem. Instead of reading anything, he started howling, growling, and making other guttural animal sounds.
The combination of Atwood’s reading, followed by the animalistic howling – I was done. I left early. It was a surreal experience, like floating around in the twilight zone, and encountering strange beings from another universe.
In the days and weeks following, I felt like all the interest, and zeal I had for the literary world had been bouncing around aimlessly, like a balloon full of hot air.
The experience of being in some kind of fake literary circle, was like a nauseating ride at an amusement park. A mind bender, except nothing about it was amusing.
It shattered my robust veneration for lyric poetry, and made it seem pointless. I was dragged down, deflated, and disgusted. What a bummer it was.
It was the opposite of what I expected it to be. There was nothing sophisticated, cultivated or refined about it. Instead it was crude and vulgar. It was hard to believe it was even viewed as art. Listening to some of it, was spine-chilling.
If an author is so gushed over, called a genius, and described as being great, many people who are tone deaf, and lack critical thinking, will automatically buy into it just to appear sophisticated and well read.
It’s kind of like certain paintings. Someone can splash a can of paint on a canvas, and if it is promoted enough, people will stand in awe and stare at it in an art museum. They may even pay two million dollars for it at an auction.
We need to learn to recognize audacious propaganda – sugar-coated, and dripping with slanted promotions, underhanded motives, and other such semantic trickery. Read the lines, and then read between the lines.
When you think about it, the government backs certain writers in much the same way they support and finance the media. They lay out the parameters for the narrative, and then promote those who align with it.
They support and champion the ideas of their choice, and encourage the infiltration of those ideas into our minds, and the minds of children in the schools. They are stealthily breaking down boundaries, one word at a time.
It helps to explain why the CBC, and other media outlets describe certain mundane, or even borderline vulgar writers, in such grandiose terms. They give them non-stop free advertising, and use their own oblique verbiage, to paint them as some kind of gods or goddesses.In reality, it is just more government brainwashing.
Since the revelation about the sexual abuse inflicted upon the daughter of Alice Munro, the National Post came out with an article on July 10, 2024 written by Allan Stratton titled “In Defence Of Alice Munro’s Legacy”.
He somehow managed to blame shift the disgust people feel, onto those who are actually questioning the validity of her legacy. How dare we? How dare he – write such an article when millions of children have been traumatized by child sexual abuse.
Maybe it seems insensitive, but my first thought was – this guy is actually trying to resurrect a dead word mule. At least let the reader be the judge of her works, instead of repeatedly telling us how great she was. In my estimation, she was a word mule – peddling a load of crap
It is invariably framed, as if the reader has no capacity for comprehension of the written word. Talk about arrogance and manipulation, just to whitewash it all, to keep that sullied legacy alive.
In some people’s eyes, her legacy has died. We do not have to view her as a great writer. Nor do we have to defend her so-called legacy, or keep it alive. Covid taught us a lot about the media. Skepticism is no longer for the hard core cynics.
Would any of them have the courage to come out in defence of the child? Not likely. Yet so much of the fall out from child sexual abuse goes on for generations. Countless little girls who were molested end up in prostitution, or being re-victimized in relationships. It takes years to overcome it, and many never do overcome it.
Alice Munro’s daughter initially came forward because she had children to protect. At least give her some credit. She is still battling those demons from the past. Alice Munro is not. Nor was Alice Munro ever a victim.
In spite of all the accolades she received as a writer, she never wrote a single novel. She seemed to have lamented this fact many times throughout her writing career. But she still did not manage the task of writing a novel.
It takes far more organizational ability, and a lot more work, and brain power to write a novel, than it does to write articles or short stories.
There is so much more planning involved. You have to create an outline, set a pace, establish a flow, the overall composition, create an amalgamation of complex ideas, establish consistency, and make the ideas blend, and connect from the beginning to the end.
You have at least a hundred thousand words to keep track of. You need to create the direction, map the journey, and know where you are taking it. Or it will become hopelessly jumbled.
Whereas a short story has an average of about three thousand words. You can easily go back to the beginning, or the middle. You are not trying to hold a hundred thousand threads together to keep them from unravelling. Short stories and articles are sort of like dabbling.
Poetry is different though. Even though it is shortest of all literary forms, expressing concepts in a nutshell requires a fervid imagination.
It may be short, but in my opinion, it is the most piercing. During times when I wrote a lot of poetry, I became totally burnt out, sometimes for several days, or a week. For some reason, it can be exhausting to the core.
Emily Dickinson and many other famous poets described it as “the white heat of creation”. She viewed it as such because of the fiery and intrinsic intensity, as well as the fact it is limitless. She noted, there are impossible possibilities – a symbol of infinitude.
In spite of the fact Alice Munro never managed to write a single novel, and as far as I know did not write any poetry – she was praised and elevated to be some kind of prosaic saint. It is not to say the short story does not have merit. All writing styles and genres can have merit. No doubt some of her short stories do have the qualities of an exceptional writer. There are people who like her material. Fair enough.
My question is, whether or not her writing actually warranted as much praise as she got. Personally, I don’t think so. However, I will admit my point of view is blunted, because I have not read all of her material, and what I did read, did not impress me. Thankfully I never had to glorify her, in order to pass a course.
As far as my own meagre experience, I have written a novel, which is unpublished due to some sensitive material. I have written hundreds of poems, and non-fiction articles, some of which can be read in this blog.
So I do have some understanding of the writing process, and what is involved. I do not have a professional editor, and although perhaps I should, I am not vying for any status as a writer, other than what the reader can gain from it. A few typos, and some errant aspects of grammar, tense, etc. do not take away the main points.
When you do hire a University educated editor, as I once did, you may not get unbiased proofing to tidy up the grammar etc. I expected an editor to be helpful.
Given the amount of indoctrination at the University level, you are more likely to get an arrogant woke wannabe writer, who begins to challenge all of your thought processes. Like they are the schoolmaster, and you are the wayward child.
For the most part they do teach writing, and freelance as editors to earn extra cash. Therefore, they may not view anyone as a mature writer.
In spite of my many flaws, I have been writing for decades. If I decide to hire an editor, I am not a child sitting in a classroom, about to get scolded for what I am thinking. Thought reform is not on my agenda. I have already been subjected to it, so I know it when I see it.
The editor I temporarily hired, is not someone I would ever rehire, or recommend to any other writer. Although I did gain some understanding of themes, motifs etc. in writing, it was a pain dealing with her.
She clearly had more respect for the editor, as opposed to having respect for the writer. She had very little of her own written content, which spoke volumes. I wondered how she could be so critical, in spite of the fact she was not a writer. It was like wrestling with the wind. There was never anything to grasp hold of, so it could be applied in a practical sense.
I prefer to write what I want to write, the way I choose to write it. It is the one freedom we have. Language is a wonderful avenue to exercise that freedom. Certain powers want to stifle people who write outside the box, see limitless possibilities, and are not afraid to challenge the status quo. Those are all key motivators, for those of us with a spine.
There are certain values, and topics I prefer to write about. I don’t promote any kind of child pornography. I abhor it. I don’t promote genocide, including MAID. I am dead set against it. Other than poetry, I prefer to write non-fiction.
I also know full well I would never in a million years get an award for what I write, and frankly, I don’t care. I hope to reach ordinary people, who are fully capable of deciding what they want to read, and what they think is interesting.
I don’t need CBC to blather on about what I write, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I would be the last person they would gush over, even if I wrote a hundred novels.
Also, the greatest works of art tend to come from those who have experienced heartfelt, profound emotional pain, oppression, subjugation, and deep seated adversity.
It is not based on academia, advanced degrees, or on who manages to garner the most puff pieces on CBC. We don’t have to spin our wheels in grandiloquent University circles, all of which have the same kind of indoctrinated dogmas as the media does.
We do not have to be a round peg forced into a square hole. We have around 170,000 words to choose from, and can arrange them as we please.
They are free for the plucking. Most people who gravitate toward writing love language. We are fascinated by words, the meaning of words, and the fact they can carry a punch, a wallop, or a poke – all in a single paragraph.
To put it simply – Creativity is judged by the number of people who are moved by it.
It does not get its value from a single editor. Nor can it be corralled, or penned in by a group of eighteen bombastic Swedes, who seem to think they are the supreme judges of subjective art.
Language arts is an incredibly vast, intricate, and malleable subject. No one has a corner on the written word, except for God himself.
The next point of contention is about the Nobel Prize for literature itself. It is very controversial, biased, and highly subjective. How can eighteen Swedes possibly read all the written content, and make a decision who to place up on their pseudo-pedestal?
It is an idiosyncratic, arbitrary, prejudicial and supremely arrogant depiction of what is the best writing in the entire world. Did they actually read all of it. What makes them the be all, and end all –when it comes to judging the written works of millions of writers?
Nothing could possibly qualify them for such a task. Therefore the entire concept should be called into question. Hopefully, it will eventually lose all credibility.
It is a purely political position they take, and it has come to the point where the award is meaningless. It is used for advertising alone, like a glossy rendition of the star scribes.
Is it any wonder certain writer’s set their vanity aside, and saw through this fickle award. It was turned down by Erik Axel Karlfeldt in 1919, Boris Pasternak in 1958 (for Soviet Union political reasons), and Jean Paul Sartre in 1964.
Ironically, countless very accomplished writers never even got nominated. For so many – the esteemed Cracker Jack award process, dropped them through the cracks of the cultured creatives. They were beneath them.
In addition, there was controversy surrounding Bob Dylan receiving the award in 2016. It took around five months for him to accept it, because many people did not believe a songwriter fit the profile for such an award.
Peter Handke was another controversial recipient of the award, because he was a proponent of advanced genocide apologetics.
Overall, the most disputable and contentious Nobel Prize awards have been first and foremost the one for literature, followed by peace, and economics.
To further entrench the absolutism and arbitrary nature of the Noble Prize – it is impossible to revoke such an award. They consider themselves to be the despotic judges of all human achievement. Set in stone.
Whereas certain other awards are not quite so laden with intractable hubris.
For example – The Order of Canada. Given that most awards are subject to political bias, selfish ambition, and sometimes outright fraud, this award can be revoked.
We recently saw this happen with Mary Turpel-Lafond, and Buffy Saint Marie. Both of them made false claims of being of Indigenous heritage, in order to advance their careers, and pretend they had faced undue hardship.
In actual fact, they made great monetary gains, and received multiple awards based on the lies they told. Both of them also received honorary doctorates from multiple Universities.
Buffy Saint Marie for some reason, is not on the Wikipedia list of those who had the award revoked. Apparently Mary Turpel-Lafond was dropped, or convinced to withdraw.
The list of those who were officially dropped from the Order of Canada includes Alan Eagleson, after being jailed for fraud in 1998, David Ahenakew was removed in 2005 after being accused of promoting anti-Semitic hatred, and T. Sher Singh was removed after his law license was revoked for professional misconduct.
In addition, Steve Fonyo was removed due to multiple criminal convictions. Garth Drabinsky was dropped in 2012 after being convicted of fraud and forgery in Ontario. Perhaps most famously Conrad Black was also dropped from the prestigious group, after being convicted of fraud and obstruction of justice in the US.
Ranjit Chandra was removed in 2015 for committing research fraud. And finally Johnny Issaluk was removed due to allegations of sexual misconduct.
It appears several others gave voluntary resignations to include Mary Turpel-Lafond. So it appears there are both involuntary, and voluntary resignations, of which there are many.
The fact so many people fall from grace in our very secular world, does make it seem fair to have these awards revoked under certain circumstances.
So many people are up in arms about what they so enigmatically call cancel culture. In my opinion, the term itself should be cancelled. It is another pejorative term for those who question some of these awards, and backgrounds of those who are placed in such high esteem.
It is true – we are all fallible. We all have deep flaws, but that does not excuse child molestation, fraud, or any other crime.
To make an attempt to paint all people with broad brush strokes, and make flippant claims such as everyone does it – is skirting accountability. It is an attempt to give permission to the fraudsters, to take advantage of the systems that are supposed to be fair, and actually mean something.
There is no such thing as cancel culture. Nothing will cancel Alice Munro. No matter what is revealed about a person, even after their death – it does not cancel them. Although it may taint their work in the eyes of some people, it does not remove their body of work.
Vandals destroyed the statue of John A. MacDonald, Canada’s first Prime Minister, because they believe he was responsible for the residential schools.
To attribute deep-rooted and long standing societal harms to one individual, is a form of scapegoating. The issues leading to residential schools, are steeped in a cauldron of convoluted and complex history. It stems from the politics of many people, throughout many generations, to create the most downtrodden, and dense – burden of blame and blunders.
No one can cancel the history of John A. MacDonald in Canadian politics. Truthfully, the attempt to cancel historical figures is an assault on our culture, history and heritage.
Even Stalin and Hitler cannot be cancelled, because none of us can turn back the clock, or change what happened.
Just as it is with child sexual abuse, to deny it, is what re-victimizes people, and causes harmful patterns to be repeated.
We cannot cancel what happens. Nor can we change the biases of those who award the Nobel Prize for literature. Alice Munro was given the award. It will never be revoked.
Does it matter. No probably not. When I review some of the recipients of the Nobel Prize over the years, most of them are people I have never even heard of.
Such an award can be used for promotional reasons, and to many, it is the highest achievement one can get. But what does it really get for them? Certainly not a dose of humility.
The more I read about it, and the more I think about it, most of the awards are meaningless in the overall scheme of things.
As far as censorship, I believe that anything promoting, or advancing child pornography should be censored, as well as ideologies that promote genocide, or violence against certain groups of people, or any people for that matter.
We live in a world steeped in deception and vanity, which is why I no longer see much value in awards. A degree of anonymity, and a willingness to admit wrongdoing, and turn away from it, is much more intrinsically valuable.
I think if anything we all should sharpen our critical thinking skills, our discernment, and our ability to distinguish right from wrong. It does not mean we all need to be judgemental, but we do need to decide for ourselves what is true, and what has merit.
I believe most of the merit attributed to Alice Munro, is propaganda. I hope her daughter heals and finds peace. I hope any other victims will have the courage to come forward. And I hope people can see the sexist nature of the writings of Alice Munro.
And being of Swedish ancestry myself, I hope the Nobel Prize awarding Swedes eventually come off their high horses, and come to their senses.
The supremacy, pompousness, and audacity they have, to consider themselves the absolute judges of subjective art, as in all things written throughout the world – is almost laughable, or otherworldly perhaps.
Like they are some kind of divine seers, transcending and nailing the epiphanies of what it is to be a human being; and decide whether each of those profound revelations, should be deemed to have substance.
Imagine the glut of all those fleeting, illusory, vague, vulgar, and gloomy concepts, shady as some of them are – and how they can be hailed, and nailed as heroes – just because they said so.
It is quite the paradox, to structure a despotic coup of subjective art, by a handful of eccentrics. Who are those eighteen people in Sweden? Nobody really. What do we know about their ability to be judge and jury over the written word? Nothing at all.
In fact, it is so dubiously high-handed – it becomes as chaff in the wind.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Poshmark was initially started in Texas in 2011 as a type of online garage sale. Over the next decade the concept grew Internationally, and sales were booming, as thousands of regular people caught onto the idea, and began to sell used items online to earn extra cash. It created a platform for both buyers and sellers.
In 2022 the company was purchased by the Korean conglomerate Naver for 1.2 billion dollars. By 2023 Poshmark operations were dropped in India, UK and Australia.
In addition to those setbacks, there were widely publicized cases of fraud, the reselling of stolen items, and unstable stock predictions.
A quick Google search states there is an 80% chance of impending financial distress for the company. However in some countries the sales are still fairly strong.
From personal experience, although I steer clear of EBay and Etsy due to the many reports of fraud, unshipped items etc. I decided to give Poshmark a try a few months ago.
After buying some items on Poshmark, I will share my own experiences or review, and explain why I quit shopping, or perusing, or buying anything else from the Canadian Poshmark site. One of the limitations of Poshmark, is that you can only buy within your own country.
On the up side, there are some good products, and honest sellers, as well as some good bargains to be found.
But to find a bargain, it is very time consuming and frustrating, so it is not all that enjoyable, mostly because of the way the website is designed, combined with a high percentage of blurry product photos.
Overall, I found the website to be poorly designed for such a large organization with a high volume of products listed.
You have to scroll endlessly through hundreds and hundreds of items. When you do find something of interest and click on it, you are back to square one. You cannot backspace to where you left off.
In addition, there are multiple repeat images sprinkled throughout page after page. Not only are you forced to look at all those items you have no interest in once, but several times.
Once you click on something to get a closer look, to get back to get to where you were, you have to scroll through all the same stuff you just bypassed. It is especially frustrating if you click on something that does not have decent product photos.
To circumvent this time consuming annoyance, you can simply click the like button if you see something of interest. This separates the things you are interested in, into a list that you can go and check out later. However, the problem with this method, is that you immediately get hundreds of spam emails on everything you clicked the like button on.
A percentage of sellers have very poor quality photographs, and may have only one or two photos, even if they are listing the item for $200 or more.
Worse yet, some of them will take stock photos off another website, and use those photos to advertise the used item they are selling. They use a photo that is not only someone else’s photo, but also one that is not a true reflection on what they are selling. They will also copy and paste the product description of the item instead of writing it themselves.
All sellers should be aware of copyright laws. They should post images of what they are actually selling, as well as write their own product descriptions. Some of them will add a disclaimer to let you know it is a “copy and paste” but I don’t think that is a good business practice either.
I can definitely attest to the fact that photography is very time consuming. One of the things I repeatedly tell myself is “don’t be lazy”. Even so, it is a challenge to get the noise out of the background, and to get clear, crisp shots, bypass glare, etc. as an amateur photographer.
Setting up an online store is not something you do in a week, if you want to do it well. Out of thousands of product photos, and blog photos, I think I might have two photos on the entire website that I did not take myself. In those cases, I make it very clear who took the photo.
One of the photos I could not resist using in a blog post about antique embroidered piano shawls, is a picture of Raquel Welch wearing a piano shawl, and a turquoise squash blossom necklace. It was taken when she was at the peak of her stunning beauty, and is an outstanding photo.
Otherwise all of the photos on my website, are photos I took myself. The same goes for all written material. You cannot take someone else’s writing and claim it as your own either.
Even when doing research, you have to read about things, get a general idea, write down dates, and other relevant information, and then extrapolate from that how you want to present it. If you do take direct quotes, they are put in quotation marks, and attributed to the source.
There is another well-known vintage website, where a person took credit for, and placed her own copyright symbol, name and logo, in large lettering on multiple famous vintage fashion shots. She plastered her information pretending to be the artist, and falsely copyrighted the photographs, forbidding anyone else to use them! It is beyond brazen.
She seemed to think she could take ownership of the copyrighted work of someone else, because she “found them on the Internet”. She also seemed to believe that searching for images, is akin to beach combing.
Copyright laws are very important, and not to be messed with. It is another form of theft and fraud, with stiff penalties for those who violate those laws.
Even for images, or works of art that do not have the copyright label printed on them – they are copyrighted anyway. You cannot steal someone else’s work. It is not hard to prove, especially for things published online, where the original came from.
Although it is not okay to steal or claim ownership of anyone’s photographs, or art, this person had the audacity to claim ownership of photographs that were taken by famous photographers, and published in magazines like Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar.
People should be made aware – they can get into serious trouble for stealing someone else’s work.
There are some sellers on Poshmark who post good photos, but for the most part, there are a lot of very haphazard, poor quality, unedited photographs, as well as the practice of showing new images of old products.
It is very misleading when someone is selling a ten year old Canada Goose coat for $1200, and they simply take their information off the Canada Goose website, depicting a brand new coat.
If you do find a seller who has good photography, and products – good luck if you can ever find them again. You cannot just type their user name into the address bar. In fact, I could never re-locate a good Poshmark store once I did find one.
Probably one of the main issues that caused me to swear off shopping on Poshmark, is the lack of any kind of refund policy.
Some of the items are very expensive, with many items listed for several hundred, or even several thousand dollars.
The ultimate pet peeve for me, was that as a buyer, if you make an offer on something, and the offer is accepted, it is binding. There is no turning back. You cannot change your mind, even if you realize the item is not what you thought it was.
However, if the seller changes his or her mind after accepting an offer, it is not binding for them. They simply do not ship the item, and will not respond to any messages you send them.
In this case, it is the only time you will get a refund. However, even if the seller is not acting in good faith, and refuses to answer an enquiry about why it has not been shipped, you still have to wait it out.
Then after a week or so, you will get an email from Poshmark, telling you they have contacted the seller about the fact it has not been shipped. So at least they keep tabs on whether or not something is actually being shipped.
There is an eight day wait period without it being shipped, and then another ten days to process the refund.
Although I never bought anything expensive, I found this to be unfair. If the offer is binding for the buyer, it should work both ways.
The seller does have the option to reject an offer if they want to. They should not be able to simply ignore a binding agreement once an item is bought and paid for.
I think the reason they do it, is because they get a better offer. But once a person agrees to a price, and the item is paid for, the buyer owns it. It is up to the seller to get the item sent out, because they no longer own that item.
What if a person paid $1000 for an outfit for a special occasion, or a coat they wanted to take on a trip? It means their money is tied up for almost three weeks, when there is no intention on the part of the seller to ship the item.
Although I did not buy anything expensive, after sellers failed to ship a couple of times – I decided I was done with Poshmark. I was getting way too many spam emails as well, which I wanted to stop.
For those who are selling brand new items on the Poshmark platform, I wondered where they came from, and if they might be stolen goods. As it turns out, some sellers on Poshmark have been busted for selling stolen goods.
The final annoyance was when I tried to delete the account, Poshmark would not accept my decision to delete the account.
There was a popup informing me the account cannot be deleted, because there were outstanding offers, which was not true.
But to be sure the cache was cleared, I cleared my own cache, and then went back ten days later, well after their stipulated time lapse, and still got the same message. If they think this type of thing will increase customer loyalty, for me, it was just the opposite.
So I deleted the payment methods, changed the address, changed the email address, removed all the likes, etc. I became even more determined to erase my existence on the site.
Even after doing all that, they still sent spam emails. So I finally put a block on all emails from them.
They have numerous marketing gimmicks, which I don’t fault them for, but I had no interest in them either. There were multiple invitations to Posh parties for everything under the sun.
There were constant messages to re-posh items. If you are not a seller, and have no interest in being a seller on Poshmark – why would you want to get messages to re-posh items? If I make a mistake on a non-refundable item, I donate it to the local thrift store, or to the homeless.
But the one thing I found most annoying of all, was when out of the blue, some random person would announce they were “styling” me. Then I would get 467 indiscriminate items in an email that had been “chosen” just for me. Good grief.
In all the millions of shoppers and products on Amazon, to their credit, they never spam people – or try to second guess what you might be interested in. They are smart enough to know people can shop for themselves.
When I first got the messages telling me so and so was now styling me – I thought, what on earth does that mean? I did not ask anyone to style me.
Do they really think adults cannot figure out their own style? Plus how do they know who you are shopping for? Maybe you are looking for a dress for a teenage girl? Maybe a person is shopping for their aunt, best friend or grandmother. How do they know?
Poshmark may have been a trend with a rapid International incline at the onset, due to the interest in vintage, reselling, niche markets, quality second hand items that are no longer made, and so on.
However, I do think they need to revamp their website into more user friendly categories so people can drill down to get to what they are interested in. I also believe they need to set some guidelines regarding photography, and ban the use of stock photos showing new items, when they are selling used.
They need to realize not everyone wants to be spammed, or styled by some unknown random person.
Another thing people should be aware of, is that even though some of the items look like thrift store items, they are not exactly thrift store prices.
In the past ten years or so, those who go to thrift stores have seen some significant increases, especially when it comes to designer items, collectibles, sterling silver, and various other unique artisan things. But overall, there are still many bargains to be found in thrift stores.
However on Poshmark, if you buy something, even at the lowest end of what is listed, by the time shipping and all the other fees are added, a $20 item becomes a $50 item.
It is too bad when collective, multi-vendor stores like Etsy and Poshmark have a few bad actors. They taint the waters for the majority, who are trying to set up a venue for selling things they have collected, taken care of, stored etc.
In that large pool of sellers, there are some gems, and there are some sharks. I think it is up to the parent organization to sort them out, as well as to structure a more user friendly website.
Otherwise, if they do not make the necessary improvements and safeguards, as well as limit the spam – in my opinion, they are not keeping up with the times.
Trends may seem like a hay day at first – but they can also be a flash in the pan.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Of all things God hates the most, as listed in Proverbs 6: 17, the first two on the list are “a proud look, and a lying tongue”. Yet how many sermons do we hear about the topics of arrogance and lying?
It is not only Christians who become arrogant. It is human nature to have a cognitive bias in relation to how we view ourselves. In some cases, it is part of being successful, or having a purpose, or achievements – whatever they might be.
Life as we come to know it, is based on a variety of hierarchal structures. It begins in families, schools, churches, businesses, perceptions of beauty, levels of intelligence, political prowess, leadership, achievements in sports, and most of all – money. The image of wealth is the be all, and end all for many people.
We need to have a certain amount of hierarchy, to help maintain order. Unfortunately along with hierarchy, there can be arrogance, dominance, and abuse of power, which can be very toxic.
Outward appearances of success, is the reason why it is important for some rich men to have a trophy wife, often one who is thirty years younger than he is. It completes the image of success, as society might define it.
So we are accustomed to judging people, not only for moral reasons, but primarily for whatever image they are able to present.
Usually we do not know the full truth underlying another person’s outward image. We often don’t know their business practices, or how they treat others, or how they got their wealth. We don’t know about the underlying addictions, the extent of their greed, or how many affairs a person has had, how much they manipulate outcomes, or what their true motives are.
That is probably why the Bible tells us not to judge others. It tells us Christ will judge because only He knows the hearts and minds of people. We don’t. It is also why we are told to forgive, because most of us don’t even have a true concept of our own fallibilities.
We have an error-prone tendency to see the faults of others through a microscope, but we see our own faults through a telescope with a dirty scratched up lens.
Before you can achieve anything, you first have to believe you can do it. But there is a difference between a quiet confidence, and arrogance. Arrogance is rooted not only in self deception, but also in insecurity. It is a brittle way of putting on an exterior of superiority or invincibility, in order to protect the more fragile inner self.
I will readily admit being guilty of self-deception, stupidity, and at times empty-headed arrogance, throughout my life.
Part of it stemmed from religious indoctrination by a high school teacher, who held me captive for hours upon hours telling me I was special. Even more bizarre, he repeatedly claimed I was – “his special gift from God”.
This was a man, who claimed to be a Christian, yet he was arrogant, and deceptive to the core. It took me years to admit to myself that he was a pathological liar. I actually thought for many years, if I did not see him as wonderful, there must be something seriously wrong with me. I was indoctrinated with extremism and religious falsehoods, without fully realizing it.
Even though I irrationally believed I had put up a barrier to all the brainwashing and lies, I still absorbed more of it than I cared to admit. It is the reason our hearts, minds and spirits should never be subjected to master manipulators, and sophisticated brainwashing techniques. It is like getting grabbed by a crocodile, and every time you get a breath, it drags you under again.
Brainwashing or thought reform is extremely abusive, and at the time, I had no idea it is a systemic breaking down of all boundaries, barriers, and self preservation. The abuse targets your mind, emotions and spirit.
When a wolf in sheep’s clothing fixates on his prey, it becomes a soul-destroying endeavour. You are up against an apex predator, and like a weak young animal separated from the flock, you do not stand much of a chance.
The same lies are drilled into your psyche – repeated over and over, when you are exhausted and traumatized. It leads to a lifetime of destructive escapism, in an attempt to break free of the snare.
Few people realize that forcible religious indoctrination with deception, and false claims – is profoundly abusive. It swings erratically from shaming, to being made special. Of course the shaming is tied to any defiance, or refusal to accept the lies, and being special is tied to accepting those lies.
Telling a child they are special, is not doing anything for their self-esteem. It robs them of a healthy, balanced, and realistic outlook. It makes them feel they must conform to some kind of ideal image, in order to be acceptable. Being special is nothing but a deceptive burden. It is also an angle that is commonly used by those who exploit children.
Young people are especially vulnerable to identity assault, and mind control by those who abuse power, when they are teenagers. The teen years are a very important, and challenging developmental time frame.
It is a crucial period of time, as we establish our identity, come to terms with family of origin, develop independence, and make important, and directional life choices, like choosing a career. He robbed me of all those things.
Adult men in positions of power, who exploit children and teenagers, will not escape God’s wrath. It is probably the only consolation in the whole ordeal.
On one side of the psychological and spiritual abuse coin is shame, degradation and insults. Yet the other side of the coin is even worse, as it contains a fake image of being the “special” possession, or a shiny object, sought out or pursued by another person, for their own gain, not ours.
It is not that I don’t take responsibility for my own development, and outlook. But in hindsight, I can see some of the main contributors to my own self-deception.
I can also see how the emotional, spiritual, and psychological attacks led to defensiveness. I used accomplishments to try and defend myself. It is a feeble attempt to use achievements, as a means of defending our basic rights.
Eventually I realized I should not have to defend myself by drawing attention to achievements, because our basic and inalienable human rights are not tied to achievements. Neither is our God given free will, or the right to be a member of our own family. Just like we do not earn salvation, we cannot earn basic human rights either.
Underneath it all, I did not lose sight of being the lowest in the pecking order, so the arrogance was not deep rooted or intrinsic to my personality. But nevertheless, I can think of many episodes of being a smart-ass, as well as becoming defensive when under attack.
Repentance and remorse humbles us, which is a blessing, because otherwise our foolish hearts become delusional, darkened, and hardened. We really do not have much self awareness or insight, until we do repent. Then it is most difficult to forgive ourselves, because there is nothing short of what Christ did on the cross, that can forgive the things we cannot change.
The entire process of repentance is not only about all the awful things we have done, but it is also about harbouring anger, and fear. Both of these mindsets make it more difficult to forgive.
If there is a background of trauma or abuse, letting go of anger, and overcoming fear is something we have to deal with, or else we become perpetually anxious, or hardened and bitter. We are not supposed to have a spirit of fear, as it represents a lack of faith, and a basic cowardice. Fear can crowd out everything else, if we do not find a way to overcome it.
One of the reasons it is so common for Christians to become self-righteous, arrogant, and judgemental, is because we are often indoctrinated with falsehoods. Part of the indoctrination includes being special, maintaining outward appearances, being chosen by God, righteous, etc.
Another part of it stems from morality, and the need to discern right from wrong. We tend to think if we can recognize what is right or wrong, then it makes us morally superior. We don’t have to compare ourselves to anyone else. Discernment is for our own guidance and edification.
It goes right back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When they chose to eat the forbidden fruit, the fruit they ate was from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Once humankind made the decision, we are left with a knowledge of good and evil – yet we really do not have the full capacity to separate the two. That is probably why God told them not to eat of that particular fruit.
Even in prisons, there is a pecking order and dominance based on the self-righteous judgment of the lesser human beings. A gang murderer is not as bad as a child killer. A drug dealer is not as bad as wife beater. And probably the lowest of the low – is the snitch.
Other than to turn away from evil, surely we can see that our judgement is quite futile.
Pride is part of deception. We are deceived by outward appearances. We cannot take the blinders off, until we repent. The most basic messages in the Bible, tell us over and over – to repent. We all fall short of the glory of God.
When we repent, we receive God’s forgiveness and mercy. We are brought to repentance through His grace. To be humble is a sign of His wisdom, not ours. Even the verses we read telling us Christians are chosen, or called according to God’s purpose – is not based on our own merit.
There are so many things beyond our earthly comprehension. We are given certain gifts, and many blessings. Every sunrise, every flower, every good thing, and every breath we take – is part of God’s blessing.
We really have nothing to be proud of. But we do have the full expanse of God’s kingdom, and plans – to be grateful for. Without God, we most definitely would not even be here. Without Jesus, we would not have salvation, or forgiveness. We would all be doomed.
Pride is not sustainable. The Bible tells us in many places, and in no uncertain terms – the proud will be brought down. There is no Biblical justification for pride.
There is no superiority in being a Christian. It is based on servitude, which is the opposite of superiority.
Salvation is a gift, and we are to accept the gift with gratitude, faith and worship. We did not earn our salvation. We cannot save ourselves.
For Christians who think they do not have to repent, or who see themselves as vastly superior – it is only based on self-deception, indoctrination, and insecurity. Arrogance presents a false self.
Many modern day preachers are quite arrogant. A significant amount of false teaching, gives the impression of deserving prosperity, material blessings, and being the chosen ones.
Truthfully, in addition to repenting, we are instructed to persevere through all things that come our way. We are told to expect tribulation, and rejection, and to overcome adversity.
We are told to turn away from all the things God tells us to turn away from. Doing so, is not arrogance. It is the avoidance of evil influences and temptations, including our own inclination toward evil.
We are to be thankful, because we can trust God. We are to be patient, because we know His word, and promises will be fulfilled.
We are to seek love, and truth. God is love. And ultimately love prevails, and will overcome all things.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The false teaching seems to be increasing. Not long ago I was listening to a pastor from a church in the US who seemed to be genuine. But there were some red flags, as I thought a few times, he seemed to be somewhat arrogant.
In his recent sermons, on at least two occasions, he claimed Jesus was an angel. He went on to support the claim by saying the angel with the little book in Revelation chapter 10, is actually a description of Jesus. Alarm bells went off. I thought – what?
He then went on to compare the angel in chapter 10, to the description of Christ in Revelation chapter 1: 13-15.
In addition, he supported his falsehood by adamantly stating that scripture teaches scripture, which is absurd if you take such liberties.
Yes scripture does support scripture, because in Hebrews it makes it very clear that Jesus is not an angel. So if anything, this example supports the advice – to test all things.
This is a pastor with a large following. He spends much of his time dissecting Greek lexicon, so it gives him an aura of superiority and advanced knowledge.
Another red flag prior to the more obvious angel falsehood, was that he used his advanced knowledge of Greek language to add to the Bible in many ways. In hindsight, I can now see he was adding a lot of his own faulty interpretations. I will never listen to him again.
He makes a direct comparison to the following description of Christ, and creates the comparison based on some similarities found in the two descriptions. But both descriptions make it clear, that in one it is an angel, and the other it is Christ.
It does stand to reason that an angel of the Lord, or an angel sent by God as a powerful messenger, would have some of the attributes of God. But this does not mean there is a transformation between the two. God forbid.
Jesus is not an angel. He is the only begotten son of God. Other verses tell us there are as many angels as stars in the sky. The following verse is describing Jesus, and it is not meant to be morphed into any magical thinking, or false comparisons to angels.
Surely this false teacher knows his Bible. He spends hours and hours teaching every minute nuance, and yet makes such a glaring error.
Discernment is very important, probably more so now than ever before in history. This example highlights why it is very important for all Christians to check what the Bible actually says. The Bible also tells us not to worship angels. Yet this false teaching bypasses that instruction as well.
Up until I heard the pastor claim Jesus was an angel, I had listened to quite a few of his sermons. Now I want to purge all of it from my memory.
In hindsight there were quite a few red flags. The first red flag is the subtle, and sometimes not so subtle arrogance. Like he knows it all, and everyone else is a peon (or an idiot) who requires his advanced knowledge and guidance.
He constantly refers to his last day teaching series, and repeatedly tells people to go back to his own series for clarification on certain topics. His series, or teaching is extensive, and is posted on his website, as if that is the gospel truth, when clearly it is not.
The second red flag is when someone creates their own secondary set of teaching, and then refers people to that, instead of the Bible. It tells us they are more concerned about self-exaltation than anything else.
It could also mean they are intentionally deceiving people who they think are less intelligent than they are.
Moving on – the other night I listened briefly to another longstanding well-known pastor preach a sermon. Before long, he was talking about, and promoting the concept of the rapture.
He dismissed the naysayers (like myself), who know full well the word rapture is not in the Bible.
The word rapture was added to Bible teaching deceptively in the mid 1800’s by the scoundrel John Darby, and enhanced by another word rogue, Scofield. Since then, many mainstream churches picked up on the theory.
This very experienced, and authoritative preacher did not make reference to where the rapture doctrine actually came from. He did not provide the background, introduction, or origin of this false doctrine. Instead he made a false comparison to prove his errant point.
His counter argument was to say that just because the word rapture is not in the Bible, does not discount the reality, or the significance of the rapture.
He then threw in the Greek word harpazo, which means to forcibly seize upon, or snatch away. However the context is quite different. Rapture theology teaches that Christians will be taken off the earth before the tribulation, before the second coming of Christ.
Harpazo in context, means the Christians who are alive when Christ returns, will be caught up to meet Him in the air.
The two concepts or comparisons between harpazo and rapture, in meaning and context, are very different. The rapture is supposedly a secretive removal of all Christians prior to the second coming.
No matter how they try to rationalize it, there is still no Biblical basis for the rapture claim. In fact there are many verses to refute such a claim, for anyone who cares to look them up.
Some will even use a Latin translation, to try and enhance this theory as a Biblical truth. No matter what semantic gymnastics they resort to – it is simply not true.
We all have God given free will. People can believe what they want to believe. Just because they believe it, does not make it true.
All people who believe in the rapture, should read about Darby, and how he came up with not only the false rapture doctrine, but also a complete and systemic dispensational system, in order to break down the Biblical timelines and turn truths into falsehoods.
It is false doctrine in all realms, to include the rapture. Darby’s rapture theology actually came from a fifteen year old girl who claimed to levitate during a seance. How this became part of a Christian belief system, is downright devious.
As the pastor continued his sermon, in a condescending tone, he stated the word Bible is not in the Bible either. To make a rapture comparison to the entire Bible, is mind boggling.
He is indirectly saying those of us who discount, or do not believe in rapture theology, are also discounting the Bible. Now isn’t that quite a linguistic stretch? It is also a discreet, yet profound manipulation of truth.
Once again, it astounds me how arrogant some of these guys are.
For starters – the word Bible is in fact in the Bible. It is a direct translation from the Greek biblos. This word is in the Bible many times.
So the pastor was actually using a false claim, to support a false claim. Yet this man has been a pastor for five decades.
These are just a couple of examples of deceptions that are creeping into Christian teaching more and more.
There are countless obvious false teachers and preachers on YouTube like Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland, John Piper, and many other fake faith healers, prosperity teachers, along with mega churches who have turned church services into entertainment and rock concerts.
But those are easier to discern. It is those who seemingly use sound doctrine, and then deviate, who are the most deceptive of all.
When you listen to the Apostles, or to the words of Christ himself – you never hear arrogance or falsehoods. All of the teaching is instructional, encouraging, and truthful.
This is why it is so important to go back to the original Biblical teaching. The tone of it is never the least bit arrogant. There is no ranting and raving. There is no dissecting, or manipulation of words to change the original meaning.
There are no false comparisons, in order to cleverly create deceptive imagery. There are mysteries we may not understand yet, but there is no false teaching in the authentic Bible.
As far as some of these preachers are concerned – surely they know their Bibles better than I do, and better than most of us do.
Although I do not know if they are intentionally deceiving people, or if they themselves are deluded, and blinded to the truth – for sure, one day they will be held accountable.
The Bible contains many warnings telling us not to be deceived. It lets us know there will be such extensive deception in the end times, that even the elect can be deceived.
The power of words is endless, which in turn means the manipulation of words is also extensive, but unlike truth, deception is not endless.
Eventually all lies, falsehoods, guile, intentional deception, twisting of scripture, out of context scripture, adding to, and taking away from the Bible, etc. will end.
The truth will never end, but deception is not eternal.
We are taught to forgive those who betray us. However, we are not taught to accept deception of any sort. Therefore discernment is very important, not only in what we hear from others, but also what we believe or claim ourselves.
We have to seek the truth in all things. There is no such thing as my truth, and your truth, if they are as different as night and day. 2 Thessalonians 2: 10-12 gives us a strong warning:
If people reject us, or hate us for clinging to the truth – so be it. Truth will endure. Deception will not.
As far as the belief, and verses that tell women not to teach men in the churches, I have read those verses, and can see why women should not stand up, and take over the podium. I think if there is false teaching, the only alternative is to walk away.
Even though there is much emphasis on how women are to be silent, and not teach men in the churches – there are many women throughout the Bible who were prophets. That means women did instruct men, albeit in a different manner.
If men are teaching false doctrine, discernment is for all people. The truth contained within the Bible is the ultimate authority.
In reality, women do not have authority over men in any capacity. We can only avoid and turn away from the ones we do not want to listen to, be dominated by, or have to deal with.
If they will not accept a boundary, or a fundamental truth – what else can you do? Many good men, are also manipulated and deceived by other men, including those who call themselves Christians.
Even in the secular world, women do not have authority over men. In business and politics, some women might appear to have power – but they are still submitting to the orders of the party line, or a board of directors, or a male CEO.
Often rich and successful women are backed by a rich father, or spouse – or they would not be rich and successful. Very few, if any women are self-made millionaires.
The Bible consistently tells women to respect and honour their husbands. Husbands are also advised to love, and be faithful to their wives. There is a reciprocity needed in order for marriages to work.
Unfortunately many people do not fully grasp this, or have the maturity to protect their marriage. Yet marriage is the most important union of our lives on earth. Those who succeed in having a good, and long term marriage – are very blessed.
In spite of our own shortcomings, the Bible does not contain contradictions, or any instructions that will harm or deceive us.
Many atheists mock Christians, because they refuse to believe in what they cannot see, or understand. Or perhaps it is because they have already been saddled with the strong delusion.
However, the greatest enemy of all Christians and churches, comes from the deception within. We are not deceived by atheists. We are deceived either within ourselves, or by those who have knowledge of the Bible, and use it to deceive people.
Ultimately there is unity among the true believers, because our genuine identity, is part of the body of Christ. Galatians 3:28 is one of the verses to confirm this.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I finally went through and identified all the plastics in order to add them to a Category. The whole range of plastics can be found under Accessories – Art Objects – Plastic Art. Now you can view all the plastics under one category:
As we approach the day of the eclipse with much interest, for some with purely scientific awe, and the rare chance to witness a total eclipse in North America. But for many, there is a much greater Spiritual scope, and meaning attributed to these signs in the heavens.
Although eclipses happen every eighteen months, the chance to view them varies depending on where you live in the world, as well as the amount of cloud cover at the time.
Apparently what makes tomorrow’s eclipse (April 8, 2024) so special is the visibility that will occur across the US, especially in the State of Ohio. The last time Ohio witnessed a total eclipse was in 1806 during the Tecumseh’s Eclipse. Normally the eclipses are near the poles.
There are many preachers, and Biblical interpretations surrounding eclipses and blood moons. Throughout the Bible, there are verses about the cosmos, and the disruption in the cosmos as we get closer to the end of the age.
There are many verses in the Book of Revelation that I find to be perplexing, and misunderstood, not only by me, but by many others. I have pondered the meaning of certain verses, whether literal or figurative, and what they truly mean.
During a time in my life when I was indoctrinated with hyper dispensationalism, I feared the Book of Revelation. The reason I had fear is because I was not reading it, or listening to it for myself, but rather was listening to gloom and doom interpretations of it.
All those false interpretations had a focus on fear, tribulation, bloodshed, persecution, terrible times, a one world order, the antichrist, and finally Presto – the rapture of the church, to provide a timely escape.
Although there is much I still don’t understand, what I do understand now is very different from what I was indoctrinated with.
I have grown to love the Book of Revelation, and find it is filled with awe, and most of all, with hope. What a relief it is to embrace this incredible book, in all of the purity and truth contained in God’s word. Men have a tendency to make a mess of things.
The things I can say, are not in the Book of Revelation are the words, “antichrist, seven year tribulation, or rapture of the church”.
Obviously, people can interpret things the way they choose too, but if we are actually seeking the truth, I personally do not see truth in a one world order, or a single all encompassing antichrist, or in a fictionalized rapture.
The Book of Revelation is about the revelation of Jesus Christ. It is about the climactic and dramatic timelines in the great battle to overcome death, deception, and Satan himself, along with those who follow him. This includes the fallen angels, and those who align themselves with evil, lawlessness, and corruption.
The mysteries are steeped in timelines, and metaphors that we may not understand. They may not be revealed to us fully, until a later date. We cannot know everything, because we are not God.
We cannot possibly understand all of history, all of the spirit world, and prophecies that have yet to be fulfilled. We can understand some of it, but not all. And for these reasons, we must hold fast to our beliefs, and also realize that the more we study, or listen to the Bible, the more it increases our faith.
If we trust God, we have to put our faith in the fullness of His plans for this world.
Among the many verses I do not understand, and find to be the most fascinating is in Revelation 10 when the angel gave John the book and told him to eat it up. Before that, as he was about to write what the seven thunders uttered, he was suddenly told not to write it down, but rather to go and take the little book from the angel, and eat it up.
It really does make us wonder what the seven thunders said. In my own limited interpretation, I came to understand this verse as the digesting of God’s word, followed by the need to go and spread the gospel throughout the world.
As far as reference to eclipses, and signs in the heavens Revelation 6:12 describes the opening of the sixth seal, followed by a great earthquake, and the sun became black as a sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood:
This is about the wrath of God because in verse 17 it goes on to describe it as such.
In Revelation 8 verse 12 the fourth angel sounded the trumpet, and once again darkness falls upon the earth, and in this verse it is described as being in thirds. A third part of the sun was smitten, and a third part of the moon and a third part of the stars:
Prior to the description of the third part of the sun, and moon being smitten, in verse 10, you will notice that a great star fell from heaven called Wormwood, causing people to be poisoned.
This is a description of Satan, and the fall of Satan. When cast out of heaven Satan took a third of the angels with him, and I believe these verses are describing how darkness and poison happened as a result of Satan’s war in heaven to the point where he was cast out.
Therefore the truth in the Book of Revelation is embodied in the victory of Jesus Christ, as the time approaches and culminates in His return to this earth.
When He was here in the flesh the first time, He spent His time teaching, healing, and spreading the news of the gospel, and God’s great plan for salvation. Jesus, the Apostles, and John the Baptist all had central or core messages – to believe in Christ as Saviour, to repent of sins, and to love one another.
In all of the complexity, and variations of interpretations, the central theme is always consistent.
Not only that, but Christ has promised believers in John 14 verse 6 “Jesus saith unto him I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
Therefore we know, he will reveal Himself to all believers in due time. His grace, and offer of salvation, is a phenomenal gift.
In addition to the central theme of hope in the gospel and the revelation of Christ, we are warned many times not to be deceived.
In fact the warnings to be careful, diligent, to test all things, to study the word of God carefully, avoid false teachings, false doctrines, false gods, are too numerous to mention. It would take a full book to extrapolate all the warnings about deception that are contained within the different books of the Bible.
Deception is the biggest enemy of the end times. Be wary of those who change the Bible, add to the Bible, or take away from the Bible. Be wary of all the isms, as those are more focused on some man, as opposed to the Bible, and usually have specific ideologies, and falsehoods tacked onto them.
Don’t make the mistake of listening to a preacher who might be misguided. Read it for yourself. Don’t make the mistake of adhering to beliefs because they are part of the denomination of your church. If they do not align with God’s word, take God’s word over man’s word.
The body of Christ is one body, therefore the message should be consistent, and align with the Bible in all ways.
If you listen to the Apostles, you will notice that none of them were arrogant or domineering. They did not rely on fear mongering, or ranting and raving. Nor did they live extravagant lifestyles. They were humble, yet powerful – because they were inspired by God, and because they preached the infallible truth.
Be careful which translation you use, and in my opinion – avoid Darby and Scofield bibles like the plague.
If someone is preaching what is not in the Bible, or if they are taking single verses out of context to promote a certain belief, be wary.
As far as the rapture theory, in addition to the fact it was an invention of John Darby, is not in the Bible, and was not a belief of the early churches, ask yourself a few questions if you believe in this biblical alteration. When I was led to believe this was the gospel truth, I had doubts. These are some of the questions that immediately came to mind:
Why would God have a special plan of escape for those at the end of the age, when the Apostles and millions of other Christians throughout history faced intense persecution and death?
Why would God in His word repeatedly talk about the second coming of Christ if He raptures the church in a secret coming – thus making His return three times, not twice?
Why would God tell people to endure until the end, even unto death? There are a hundred Bible verses telling people to endure until the end, including death, because the promise is that Christ has overcome death.
There are so many things about the rapture belief that defies all logic, and the truth. So many people rigidly adhere to this mistaken, deceptive, false belief for their entire lifetimes. It makes me wonder what will happen to them.
Seeking the truth is not the easy way out of this world. It is often met with much resistance from churches and other church-goers. But remember – we are not accountable to man. We are not obliged to believe everything we are told.
When I questioned, and then rejected the rapture doctrine, it ultimately led to being shunned by many people.
Truth can be a rocky road. Just like the adoption lie that was created by a hyper dispensationalist teacher over my own life, I now know that people who will lie about one thing, will lie about a lot of things.
We, as believers are adopted into the family of God, not some cult teacher from a hick town. We are born again, based on our belief in Christ.
The fifth commandment tells us to honour our father and mother. No one replaces our natural father and mother, as that is our God-given lineage.
Anyone who tells a young person that their mother or father is wicked or “non-redeemable” – is not a Christian. Because really – how many Christians will repeatedly lie, and openly defy the central Commandment? If the truth is not in them – we know who they follow.
When dealing with deception, it is truly amazing how the deceivers will dominate, and take many of the truths in the Bible, then warp them to fit their deceptive narrative. It is amazing how bold they are in their lies.
All I can say, is don’t fall for it. Furthermore, if it were not for the grace of God, I would never have seen or found the way, the truth and the life. I would have been among the lost, the third of the fallen, and wallowed in the darkness of that deception and dominance.
We cannot save ourselves. We cannot figure it all out, until Christ returns and the veil is lifted, and the mysteries of God are revealed.
The eclipse is not the only sign we are getting closer to the end of the age. There are many signs. We do live in perilous times. But we also live in exciting, and incredible times. We are watching it unfold, and we can look forward to a time where all things will be renewed, restored, and healed.
Some people make a very distinctive division between the Old Testament and the New Testament. But we must keep in mind that Jesus was in God’s existence since the beginning. The Book of Revelation 22 verse 13 does describe Christ in the fullness of His existence:
“13 I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.”
Therefore the Book of Revelation is to be revered – not feared.
The Book of Isaiah 41 verse 10 tells us not to fear:
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
An ultrasonic jewelry cleaner may seem like a good idea, but it does not make sense to use it for all jewelry, or to use it indiscriminately.
It is kind of similar to those who make the assumption you can throw antique and vintage textiles in the washing machine. Some things have to be hand washed using delicate detergents, and some things cannot be washed at all. In most cases you must hang the items to dry. Do not use a dryer.
When it comes to vintage and antique jewelry, sometimes it is better to just wipe the item with a damp cloth.
Certain pieces can be washed in a mild soapy water solution. It is good practice to use a small make up brush to clean, and dust the nooks and crannies.
Q-tips work well if you want to clean the metal, but do not want to damage the stones. Most glass stones can be cleaned with a spritz of Windex, and then rinsed and dried carefully with a lint free cloth.
Some things can be cleaned with a mild sterling silver cleaner. Not all sterling silver cleaners are mild. Some are extremely harsh, so much so that the entire room becomes filled with the smell of chemicals.
The liquid silver cleaners seem to be the most caustic, while the paste cleaners are milder. I usually use “Twinkle Silver Polish Kit”, which is a mild paste, and easy to apply to specific areas with a Q-tip.
An example of a liquid silver cleaner that you dip the jewelry into, is called “Hagerty Instant Silver Clean”. Beware of this one, and anything else that is described as instant, quick and easy. This silver cleaner is harsh, smells very strong, and will ruin gemstones. It might also ruin other things, especially sterling silver that has blackened areas as part of the design, or a shadow box effect.
I digress, back to the ultrasonic machine. Only a few pieces that are not fragile, not old, do not have any loose stones, are very solid, well constructed, and have hard and resilient gemstones, can withstand an ultrasonic cleaner. Personally, I would not even use one at all, after seeing the damage they can do.
Not that long ago a business man who took over his father’s jewelry store in Vancouver, and had been in the business more than fifty years, told me he used a dilute solution of Mr. Clean on diamonds, and other hard gemstones. He did not use an ultrasonic cleaner.
Ultrasonic cleaners use high frequency vibrations and shock waves to disrupt the accumulated dirt and grime, thus washing it off the item. They usually have a combination of water, and some type of cleaning solution.
They work by creating microscopic bubbles that implode and produce agitation or shock waves that strips the oil and grime away. Many people will say this is an effective way to thoroughly clean antique and vintage jewelry, as it supposedly gets into the crevices that cannot otherwise be reached.
I disagree. I have seen many things come out of an ultrasonic cleaner that are not thoroughly cleaned at all. The main reason they are used, is because it is fast, and cleans things in bulk.
I have brought sterling silver items home that were cleaned in an ultrasonic cleaner, and then cleaned the item by hand, because the ultrasonic cleaner in my opinion, does not do a very good job.
In fact anything that is antique, fragile, or porous – especially amber, pearls, ivory, and coral – should never go near an ultrasonic cleaner. If you are unsure of what the item is made of, don’t throw it in there.
Softer gemstones, and all organic material should not be put in an ultrasonic cleaner. Onyx and tanzanite are also too soft and porous for such a cleaning method.
Also certain plated metals such as enamels, and antique cloisonne jewelry should not be cleaned ultrasonically. A good rule of thumb is – when in doubt, don’t do it. You cannot undo the damage it does.
The following is an example of a sterling silver Baltic amber ring that was put into an ultrasonic cleaner. I bought it because the seller just pulled it out of the machine, and I was curious to see what it would look like when photographed.
Baltic amber has a glow that comes from deep within. It is almost like sunlight is captured inside. It has a unique luminescence when placed in sunlight.
It also changes colour to a blue, white or yellowish green when placed under a blacklight. In fact it is one of the most fascinating things to examine and photograph.
When you examine this ring, you can see it has lost its’ intrinsic luminescence. As you can see by the reverse side of it, the ultrasonic cleaner did not even do a good job.
It would have been much better to use a Q-tip, and a mild silver cleaner on the silver portion, and then use a soft brush to clean the back of it. After that rinse off all the residual silver cleaner with plain water, and then dry and polish with a soft linen cloth.
If it had been cleaned by hand, without using the ultrasonic method, it would have a rich glow, and show off the bits of foliage, insect wings etc. that get trapped inside the tree resin. But alas, this one bites the dust.
First and foremost, there are many marketing and SEO experts who will promise you wildly successful numbers if you employ their services. Some of them go so far as to say they will put your website at the top of Google’s pages.
Others will give average website statistics that are way over stated, like saying the average site gets over 10,000 visitors a month.
When you create averages that include banks, Amazon, hotels, and various other high traffic websites, it will drive the averages up. But it does not accurately reflect the average traffic to small business websites. In fact, all those inflated numbers can be quite discouraging for the new small business web developers.
It stands to reason the size of an organization, the resources, and above all, the content of the website, will be key factors driving the amount of traffic to a website. Also, as with all things, it takes time to become established. It also depends on how much paid advertising you do, to drive traffic to your website.
To be honest and open, I have not used any paid advertisement at all, and rely solely on content creation.
In actual fact most SME’s are very low on the statistical ladder, compared to sites like Amazon, or any high traffic site used on a daily basis for banking, groceries, general household items, computers, etc. The following online information provides a more realistic viewpoint:
“Average Number of Visitors Per Month. On the lower end of the spectrum – 13% of local businesses receive fewer than 100 visitors to their sites each month, while 55% receive fewer than 500. On the higher end, 20% of businesses receive more than 1500 monthly visitors to their site, and 15% receive over 2500 visitors.”
Google analytics does the crawling and tracking of all websites, and for awhile I used G/A to track visitors. However given that a website requires time and attention in addition to analytics, I found the many layers and complexities of G/A to be a bit much.
From there I tried a couple of condensed G/A plug-ins that gave a minimal amount of information, such as number of unique visitors, organic visitors, and bounce rates. In each case those plug-ins did not last long and failed, so I had to delete them.
After that I started looking for alternatives, and found there are quite a few in the open source arena.
After quite a few years adapting to the learning curve in web development, I know I probably do not view things the same way many others do. But I have learned to be wary, or rather cautious when it comes to plug-ins.
That is why you do not see pop-up ads all over my website. When I visit websites, I find those to be annoying and intrusive, so I don’t use them.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people add plug-ins with graphics that jump up and down to get your attention. I won’t stay on a website for five seconds if there are jumping and moving parts. In my opinion, it is like a sales clerk who will not allow you to walk around the store just to browse.
I know countless marketing people would tell me otherwise, but the beauty of doing your own thing – can’t be downplayed either.
In fact I started to think of plug-ins as being like prescription drugs. They might offer a quick or simple solution, but some of them have severe side effects. Some are heavy, and cumbersome. Others have bad code. Some of them can crash your entire site. They have a systemic influence. They can interact with each other, and usually it is not in a good way. Some are not kept up to date, and so on.
In my opinion, the worst plug-ins are the ones that take over your admin panel with ads, and attempts to get you to add more, or get the pro version. Some of them even have those annoying jumping emoticons, making it impossible to ignore them. Those kinds of plug-ins, in my opinion, are intolerable.
In addition, similar to prescription drugs, there can be unintended interactions between plug-ins that create problems on your website. My philosophy is to use plug-ins sparingly, and delete them as soon as you see any issues.
The reason for this is that if you do have issues like internal server errors, you must go through a lot of layers of trouble shooting. This includes the server, the theme, the fonts, and every single plug-in.
As I started to look for a lightweight open source analytics option, I came across Plausible Analytics, which is an open source plug-in developed in the UK. It is by far the best analytics plug-in I have ever come across.
To add to the benefits, if you have any issues at all, the creators of this plug-in will respond, and help you out promptly. In my books, that is a huge plus, because you can interact directly with the people who built it from the ground up.
It enables you to put the numbers of visitors on the dashboard in the back end, or admin panel of your store. The dashboard analytics are lightweight, with clean code, and easy to figure out. It gives you just what you want to see, and not a plethora of complicated information that you can’t be bothered with.
The Plausible Analytics plug-in is one of the best plug-ins, and among the top three of all the plug-ins I have chosen to keep thus far, making it invaluable.
After using it for almost a year, it has not failed. It allows you to quickly see the number of visitors, make comparisons, view the countries and cities that are visiting your site, and look at what happens on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. The link below shows the comparison mode from one month to the next:
Knowing there are multiple different time zones when you have a global audience, it also lets you view what happened the previous day when you get up in the morning. The following link shows what happened yesterday March 6, 2024:
It shows you a long list of all the top pages being viewed. I have provided just the sample of what is at the top of the page as it is quite long:
In addition to showing you the top pages, it shows the countries, which can be broken down into cities and regions. It also shows the devices used, and the sources:
There is a simple drop down menu on the right hand side that allows you to choose what you want to look at or compare:
And finally at the bottom of the page, you can set up and view Custom Properties, which I have not done yet. The following link gives information about custom properties, and also lets you see the documentation available on this plug-in:
I would definitely give this plug-in a five star review. As far as I know, it does not have the free version, and a pro version, but rather charges a little over $100 a year up front. I find this to be much more palatable than having a constant advertisement to upgrade to the pro version.
The Plausible Analytics dashboard is something I use on a daily basis because it is akin to keeping a finger on the pulse of what is going on with your website.
A website is interactive, and the vibrancy comes from the visitors. Therefore, in addition to respecting their privacy, we can also get an overview or snapshot of the interest generated.
Therefore to all the visitors, and to Plausible Analytics, I owe a debt of gratitude. I would like to thank all those who have an interest in the culture and creativity of our past, and how it blends with the current times.
There are many things with universal interest and appeal. It is a pleasure to share a collection that represents the artistic endeavours, combined with the technical expertise, from a wide variety of people and regions throughout the world.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
String art is created by connecting string or yarn to hammered nails, in order to create an image through the use of angles, and geometric patterns. The most common scenes are abstract pop-art, or ships and sail boats, but there are many options in modern DIY kits.
The concept was first established by Mary Everest Boole in 1909. She was a British educator who came up with the idea to use angles, and curve stitching to teach mathematics. Based on geometry and algebra, this concept gave rise to the Bezier curve, which was first used in car designs.
Mary Everest Boole was a very intelligent woman who married mathematician George Boole. She was tutored in mathematics as a young girl, and continued her studies as an adult.
She used sewing cards and curve stitching, in addition to other physical representations of mathematical concepts, as a way to help children grasp the constructs, and have fun with learning mathematics.
She expanded her methods of representation through her book “Philosophy And Fun Of Algebra”. She explained algebra in creative and interesting ways, to include fables, with bits of history, along with various associations, and comparisons.
Her central idea was to introduce logic, math concepts, and creativity, to strengthen comprehension, conceptualization, and basic understanding – as opposed to limiting the educational value to equations, and memorization.
In later life she became involved in politics, and gave the name of a publication “The Crank” using an innovative double entendre, “because small rotations cause a revolution”.
Tied into these theories, the French mathematician Pierre Bezier was inspired by the algorithm created by fellow mathematician Paul de Castejau, who developed the curve formula. Pierre Bezier was working for a car manufacturing company at the time. He applied this idea to the design and manufacturing of cars, using the principles that can define any second degree curve using only four points.
The Bezier curve concept was made public in 1962, and initially was put forth purely as a mathematical concept.
The unintended 1960’s surge of stringing mathematics into art was a secondary outcome. The popularity of string art designs continued well into the 1970’s.
Recently I came across this delightful work of art depicting the clam digger. This piece is signed by the artist, and is from New Brunswick, the east coast of Canada. You will notice she has a bucket full of clams along with her trusty spade.
Many of the vintage string art finds are abstract circles and angles, or various different types of boats, and a few owls. There are very few remaining that depict cultural scenes of a given area. I did see one of a Native American Indian on a horse, and another of a mallard duck in flight.
At the end of this post I have included a sample of a string art sail boat on a black background. The string art boats seem to be the most common.
But so far, this is the only string art clam digger shown anywhere online. It is definitely a cultural representation of the Atlantic east coast. The artist signature on the back top left corner, appears to be Ginette Robichaud.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Of course there are unscrupulous individuals in politics, and in the health care system who promote this sick concept.
They would like nothing more than to have us all believe that once a person has a diagnosed mental illness, or admits to struggling with mental health – it is never cured. It is a permanent condition. They are sick and stigmatized for life. In my opinion, it is deceptive and manipulative nonsense. They (the powers that be) can prove nothing of the sort.
Of course they want to push the hypothesis – the mumbo jumbo of terminal and lethal psychobabble, because it is an industry that wants to increase the scope of both drug addiction and MAID.
Stay safe, but don’t stay sane, so we can kill you kindly. When and where have we heard that before? It echoes from Germany since 1939, and reverberates to the present time.
If a person breaks a leg, it heals, and they get up and walk again. If they get the stomach flu, they are not barfing for life. If they fall into a batch of poison life, the itch eventually goes away.
Many people have overcome addictions. If they overcome addiction, and go on to lead a productive life, they are no longer addicted. They are no longer sick. They do not have to wallow in it. They can walk away, and leave it behind. Dust off the dirt, and get back in the saddle.
Yes there is a process of healing, and it may take some time. You have to figure out what made you sick or addicted in the first place, and come to terms with certain things.
It requires a change of paradigm, including patterns of thinking, and habits of daily living. Basically it means establishing a new template, and a new perspective, or outlook for your own life.
You have to forgive others, and forgive yourself. Regardless of whose fault it is, it is unhealthy, and destructive to continue the addiction. It is the opposite of wellness, so it has to be abandoned in order to feel well.
We have been indoctrinated with certain belief systems, especially about mental health. We need to be protective of our minds to avoid further insults.
Personality disorders are the only mental health disorders that cannot be cured, because they are part of the intrinsic personality, and show up early in life.
However, personality disorders, although they may be in the DSM manual, and can be quite debilitating, they are not usually serious mental illnesses requiring hospitalization.
They often wreak havoc in families, but a person with a personality disorder can often hide some of the more antisocial aspects of the disorder while at work or in social settings. Those who are closest to them will get the brunt of it.
Otherwise, the vast majority of mental health struggles that people go through in life, are temporary. Let’s face it, life has many struggles. It does not mean we are all mentally ill, and it most certainly does not mean we are all mentally ill forever. Let it go.
You will notice the accusations of being mentally ill are most often directed at women, and seldom at rich and powerful men. There is a pecking order when it comes to being crazy.
A lot of gaslighting too. Enough gas to ignite some serious contemplation, and indignation in the thought processes of those whose minds are manipulated and meddled with.
With excessive gaslighting, comes self doubt. Once we doubt our own perceptions of the world around us, we are more likely to feel shame, admit fault, and go along with the mentally ill label. But does that mean a person never gets better? Or even that they were crazy to begin with? It’s as elusive as a shadow on the wall.
I went through an intense back and forth with a person in the comment section of the National Post today. It was based on an article written about MAID for the mentally ill. The man I was debating with claims to have advanced degrees in health care, and says he works in health care.
He also has very strong opinions about pushing MAID for all people, including the mentally ill. He calls anyone who disagrees “terminally selfish”. He is most pejorative about faith, and religious beliefs too. He mocks those beliefs with comments like “your imaginary friends in the sky are not going to help you.”
I find his frequent use of the language “terminally selfish” to be a very strange choice of words when debating MAID for the mentally ill. He uses the term to refute the opinions of others in almost every post he writes.
In my opinion, it is very faulty reasoning, because clearly – selfishness is not terminal. At least not yet, because in the end, come judgement day, a lot of very arrogant people will be doomed, which is not quite what this guy has in mind.
The topic was MAID for the mentally ill. Is he inferring that those who disagree with him are terminal, albeit terminally selfish – which is just inching, and itching – to suggest those who disagree with him are terminal too? They too, deserve the mad MAID remedy. Who has ever heard of being terminally selfish before?
He also adamantly claims mental illness cannot be cured, only managed, with the exception of situational depression.
Once a nut case – always a nut case. Deranged cannot be rearranged. It is like taking the radio apart when you are a kid, and having a few loose wires left over when you try to put it back together. It is shot, and will never play another tune. A head scratcher, and mind bender. Damn – what was I thinking?
Seriously? A person who had an eating disorder as a teen, is not mentally ill forever. A person who quits an addiction is not addicted forever. If you screwed up the radio, it is long gone by the time you grow up.
There are many different types of phobias. If someone is afraid of spiders, crowds, the dark, snakes, etc. does that mean they are terminally mentally ill with no chance of recovery? If a person has anxiety, are they incurable? Hardly.
People are highly adaptable. If they are afraid of spiders, they avoid them. If they don’t like crowds, they stay away from crowds. The clean freak cleans, and the talkative person talks, when they get anxious. So what?
We all have to learn to manage our emotions, whatever they may be. For those who refuse to accept boundaries, they will get into trouble, and hopefully learn something.
The whole idea behind the claims that mental illness is the only incurable human illness, is because the devil, or evil forces, or whatever you want to call it – wants to attack and mess with our minds. It is as simple as that.
They want to reform our thoughts, emotions, identity, and how we feel about ourselves. They want to dominate, control, and stifle dissent, surrounding our own lives, and boundaries. They want us to feel absolutely worthless – a useless eater.
Stand firm. Don’t let them mess with your mind. The Bible tells us to resist the devil. Gaslighting, and the intentional infliction of emotional abuse – is awful, and unlawful. So if you don’t believe in the devil, believe in the laws.
God does not try to control people. He does not force people into any relationships. In His abundant grace and wisdom, He gave us free will. He does not force us into a relationship with Him, even though he is the almighty God. Why? Because he knows free will is central to love.
Relationships are about love, not dominance, deception and control. When someone tries to rob us of our free will, through mocking, gaslighting, false accusations, bullying, control, or whatever – we know it is not from God. God through His word tells us to be meek, but He also tells us to resist the devil and his antics. We all have inherent free will for very good reasons. Attacks on the mind are an attempt to take away our free will.
Our soul consists of our mind, emotion, and will – free will to be exact. Attacks on our mind, emotions, and will, are attacks on our soul. Even though such attacks are seldom punished because they are not physical assaults, God knows those tactics very well, and knows how serious they are.
Anything that is soul destroying, or destructive to the human spirit, could potentially cause a person to give up on life, to give up in every way, to become embittered, and to reject God. To throw in the towel is an eternal decision. Therefore anyone who attacks another person’s soul is making a grave mistake.
Our battles on this earth are more spiritual than anything. There is far more going on in the spiritual realm than we are consciously aware of. We need discernment, wisdom and guidance.
The news media engages us in excessive fear mongering, not only to deceive us, but to keep us on edge, distracted, and filled with angst. It is by design that our world is rife with contradiction, deception, and cognitive dissonance.
They want us to be filled with confusion, constant worry and self doubt, as opposed to having confidence and faith. God is not the author of confusion.
The mental health field is a fairly new area of medicine, in that psychiatry was only defined as such in the mid 1800’s. Prior to that they believed lunacy, or madness was caused by demon possession. Since the dawn of psychiatry, the primary method to treat the diseases of the mind, is with drugs.
Other than the observation of behaviours, and the patient’s description of his or her symptoms, the mental health field has no definitive diagnostic criteria. They have a fat DSM manual, but it is hardly even credible, when you look at the source for all those made up disorders.
They do not base the diagnosis on lab results, ultrasound, X-rays, CT scans, MRI’s or any other diagnostic tests. No, nada. They do not have clear and definitive diagnostic criteria, so don’t let anyone railroad or bamboozle you.
Truthfully, they cannot prove what they claim. They do not know what is in another person’s mind or thoughts. We have around 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day. They cannot know them, or track them. It is a game of guess work and guinea pigs.
If a person goes to a psychiatrist for any reason, they will get some kind of mental health diagnosis. Even if they say “I am doing fine, eat well, sleep well, and have lots to look forward to”. They will get told they are delusional, or anxious, or seem a bit depressed. And out comes the prescription pad.
There is a mantra oft repeated, telling people to get help. But more than anything, people need to get stronger, and stop looking toward toxic drugs for a quick fix.
In addition, we have to change our expectations. No one feels good all of the time. If you go through the motions of staying stable, and look after your health, and life on a daily basis, you will get better.
People do need support systems, and help in a variety of ways, but most people who are struggling can find ways to get past it. We cannot deny the fact we are spiritual beings. Therefore neglecting our spiritual life, is likely to cause instability in our lives. We are grounded from the inside out.
I find the whole MAID issue in Canada to be alarming. Canada has rapidly become a world leader in MAID, with the laxest laws in the world surrounding it. We are now approaching the MAID deaths of around 60,000 people, and the numbers are growing exponentially.
The concept of opening MAID to the mentally ill, and mature minors makes my blood run cold. During the debate with the pro MAID man on the National Post today, he used arguments like “dying without dignity, wallowing in your own filth and body fluids, and the terror of your mind dying while you are still alive.”
First and foremost, one of the certainties in life – is death. People have been managing to die naturally since the beginning of humankind.
Some of the statements made by this person, imply that the health care system is seriously neglecting people. Otherwise, why would a health care worker say “dying people are left to wallow in their own filth, and body fluids”? He is basically saying, it is better to end their life, than to care for them, and frankly, I find it appalling.
We all need to buck up, and buckle up. Do not let anyone corner you into the mentally ill trap, because based on the direction things are going, they are going to use it as yet another excuse to get rid of people.
They sugar coat it with feigned compassion. But have you noticed how all these MAID zealots want MAID for everyone else but themselves?
I worked several years in mental health, and during that time I got to know many of the patients quite well. A percentage of them had spent years in Riverview, and were discharged to the streets, or to smaller community health facilities.
Of all the people who suffered long term mental illness, to the point of needing to be in a facility, they all wanted to live. One woman had severe mood swings, and when she got very distraught she wanted to “end it”, but once she got over the meltdown, she was back on track. They all participated in daily outings, and took an interest in what was going on around them. If they had stable routines, they remained stable.
They were on multiple medications of course, and had severe side effects from the medications. But it did not prevent them from interacting with others, and going on outings.
Some of them had chronic hallucinations, and the one thing I can say, is they often still had a sense of humour. In fact, the humour was probably the most delightful aspect of the job. Most of them loved humour. Some of them were highly intelligent, and astute.
In hindsight, the stories of each of those individuals and how they ended up in Riverview was very tragic. Many of them were sent there because of family conflicts. They were the black sheep rejects within a dysfunctional family dynamic.
There was a time, not that long ago, where a family member, and a doctor’s signature could get a person committed. For some, they were institutionalized, and they threw away the key. Years later, they threw them out on the street.
Psychiatry in its short history, is full of tragic stories. More people have been abused by this field of medicine than most people could even imagine. People were being experimented on in the cruelest ways, using electric shock, sleep deprivation, insulin shock, hypothermia, lobotomies, and all kinds of torture that went on into the 1970’s right here in Canada.
But let’s face it, the vast majority of people with mental health disorders are not institutionalized. People are admitted for short stays in acute care Psychiatric beds. There is an extreme shortage of beds and treatment centres.
We are at a tipping point. If we think some of these people, and yes I would call them the bigger nut cases, can get on their high horse, and start deciding which lives are worth preserving, and which ones are destined for the MAID heap, God help us. It is a slippery slope, and it is snowballing into the abyss.
We should all take a sober look at the countless people who struggled with their mental health, and still contributed a great deal to society. Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Abraham Lincoln, F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda, as well as great thinkers like Isaac Newton. Vincent Van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway, Ludwig van Beethoven, Leo Tolstoy, John Keats, Charles Dickens, and the list goes on. If you delve into it, you will find it is a very long list.
Yes we do need to take care of our mental health, and we can face astronomical hurdles. But as it is with any injury or illness, we also have the capacity to overcome most problems, and get well. Very few people are sick forever. The body, mind and spirit have remarkable abilities to recover from injury and trauma.
Sadly, just as some people die in accidents, or get illnesses they cannot overcome, it can also be that way with psychic injuries, or mental illness. Sometimes people do succumb to illness, meaning it can be any kind of illness or accident. We will never know why God allows some lives to be cut short.
We need to be proactive with our own mental health, and with our loved ones. We do not need to attach a lifelong sickness label onto anyone. It is destructive and unfair. Just like colds, flus, skinned knees, and broken bones, we get psychic injuries too.
Tips for maintaining mental health. This is in no way judgemental toward anyone. It is just what I have learned personally over the years. It took me many years to get to this point. For most of my life, I certainly did not practice all the points I have listed below myself. But I do now, because I have learned how important it is to be at peace.
Talk therapy can benefit people, especially if you find a competent and compassionate therapist without an agenda. For those without extended medical benefits, it can be costly. In addition a good friend, or peer counselling, or support groups might be of benefit.
Never underestimate the spiritual dimension, as much comfort and wisdom can be found in the Bible, and through prayer. Also for those who go to church, there might be counselling services available.
Set clear boundaries. If we allow ourselves to be a pushover, we will get pushed over and dominated. We all have a right to set boundaries on relationships, to not be forced into any relationship, especially if it is dishonest or abusive, and to have our boundaries respected.
Learn to appreciate being alone. Solitude can be very beneficial for healing. So many people think solitude is terrifying, or a sign you are antisocial. By all means some people withdraw and spend hours dwelling on violent video games or things that are very unhealthy. But if you use your solitude wisely, for edification, and to enjoy your time, you can benefit from it. We do not need to be validated by others. We need to figure out our own values, as well as how we might serve others. We all have different gifts and strengths.
Keep in mind that everything you ingest or put into you body, can and will affect your mood. This includes caffeine, sugar, nitrites, OTC medications, prescription medications, and all other drugs.
In addition, the gut biome is considered to be the second brain, and it is very important to have a healthy gut biome to regulate mood. Whole foods and the avoidance of fast foods and foods high in additives will help keep your gut healthy.
Learning and curiosity is a valuable mental health practice. Not only does it help with making wiser purchases, health decisions, etc. but it also helps our memory, and mental abilities.
Learning about technical advancements does not mean we have to be a full blown techie, but we do have to navigate online, and troubleshoot computer or phone glitches, as well as learn to protect ourselves from scams etc. It is becoming increasingly complicated, so we have to keep up or depend on someone else to help with it. Fortunately YouTube will walk you through most issues you come across.
Also as we get older, technical issues can be intimidating, but the more you do, the easier it is to figure things out. All learning helps boost our confidence and decision making. With the learning, we also have to develop a strong filter, so we don’t allow ourselves to get bombarded with information we are not interested in, or affected by useless advertising and propaganda.
Fresh air and exercise are right at the top of the wellness list, in conjunction with nature, and all of its beauty. Gardening is great. Birdwatching, cycling, hiking swimming, and anything outdoors that suits your fitness and lifestyle. Walking is probably the easiest thing to do on a regular basis.
Perhaps it seems paradoxical, but it is wise to overcome our fear of death. For believers, we know death is not permanent. If we can overcome the fear of death, we are not as easily manipulated into fear and anxiety by the media or the scary events going on in the world on a daily basis.
Overcoming the fear of death, while at the same time having value and gratitude for our lives, helps eradicate the MAID fears, and makes us less vulnerable to coercion, anxiety, and depression. MAID is supposed to be a personal choice. I can understand why some people choose to opt out of this world, if they are facing a drastic and deteriorating condition like ALS. But for myself personally, I would never choose MAID.
Tolerance and patience are difficult things to integrate into our daily living sometimes. But the more you practice them, the easier it gets. If someone else behaves badly, and carries on like a lunatic, we are not responsible for that behaviour. For those of us who are Christians, God has promised us he will sort such people out in due time.
As Christians we are advised to put on the full armour of God to protect ourselves. Those verses can be found in Ephesians 10:6-18. Personally, I have found this has really helped reduce fear and anxiety.
Never let anyone tell you that mental illness is incurable. They are trying to rob you of hope. No one should ever rob another person of hope. Keep in mind – Hope does not make us ashamed.
The Bible clearly tells us to expect tribulation, and not to lose hope. Look to where there is wisdom.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
For most of us, we have either been the one doing the manipulating, or on the receiving end of the manipulation. Often times we do not realize we are being manipulated at the time. It stems from an unhealthy family or workplace dynamic.
Once it becomes chronic, it becomes a pattern of behaviour that can be very destructive. The manipulator becomes very skilled at manipulating.
In big business and politics, it might be viewed as skilled stratagem. It might also be seen as manoeuvring outcomes, or social and political engineering.
Other descriptives are a little more pejorative. Like wheeler-dealer, underhanded, double-crossing, rigging, tricking, setting up, and exploitation.
There is an underlying arrogance based on perceived cleverness, and the sophistication behind the tactics. Also a master manipulator can get countless people to follow along with whatever he is engineering. In many ways he becomes a manipulator mentor as well.
In Psychology Today it is described as follows. I will post the link to the full article at the bottom of the post.
“Chronic manipulation often (but not always) emerges from a highly competitive environment, in which various parties (family members, classmates, coworkers, social groups, societal affiliations, economic interests) jockey for power, influence, resources, and advantage, and where one feels a lack of direct and abundant power/control over a situation. The manipulator, feeling a sense of deprivation, insufficiency, and disadvantage, or conversely craving for more power, influence, and advantage, resorts to cunning and underhandedness in order to attain what he or she desires. Over time, this type of behavior can become chronic and habitual, with inevitable destructive consequences.”
Paradoxically the behaviour stems from a place of powerlessness. It stands to reason that it has its origins in early and learned dysfunctional family dynamics.
A person who feels ignored by his parents, or rejected by his mother, might resort to getting attention in other ways.
Also when there is sibling rivalry, especially when a parent favours one child over another, the competition within the family dynamic can turn toxic.
Typically the one who is favoured gets beat by the one who is not favoured. Parents are not perfect, as we all can attest to. However there is probably no greater damage done to the sibling rivalry, and competition within a family, than when a parent favours one child over another.
If the older children, or the child who is not the favourite one, has had other supportive relationships to help offset the parental adoration of his sibling, it might help him overcome it.
Or if the age difference is large enough so the older child had enough attention in his/her formative years, it might not be as difficult to overcome the sense of unfairness, or perceived rejection.
In families with very limited resources, education, support systems, and wisdom among the adults around them, the dysfunctional dynamics can become ingrained, and even violent.
The outlook for the favoured one becomes very jaundiced, and the perceived fondness soon becomes a major disadvantage.
The difficulty for parents is that no two children are alike, therefore it is very difficult to treat them exactly the same.
Also it is impossible to know how things will be perceived by a child. Perhaps there is no overt favourtism at all, but they feel inadequate in some way. Or they compare themselves to a sibling who might do better in math, sports, school, music etc.
Siblings by nature compete with one another. And in the face of adversity, each one develops his or her own way of coping with the difficulties. In some cases it is a matter of survival. So each one learns what he or she has to do to survive.
Since manipulative behaviours are so common, there are no easy answers when it comes to developing the discernment to recognize and avoid the various pit falls and patterns
The link to the entire Psychology Today article is below:
The presence of PFC compounds in the Gore-Tex fabric, is the reason being given for the reduction in Gore-Tex products. In fact the company is claiming they are phasing out the traditional Gore-Tex line by the year 2025.
For those of us who live in a rainy climate, as well as those who are avid outdoors people, Gore-Tex is almost something we took for granted. Just ten or fifteen years ago, a decent Gore-Tex jacket was $200-$350, and after a few years, the style became outdated and it was time to upgrade.
But now, things are changing. For those who have a Gore-Tex Shakedry cycling jacket, they would be best to hang onto it, because they stopped making them altogether. All this began about a year ago, and we are about to see less Gore-Tex, and more alternatives like waxed cotton, and various other water resistant fabrics.
If you Google just about any brand of Gore-Tex jackets now, you will see a price tag of $600 or more. In some cases those jackets are not made to the same standard and ply that we saw in jackets fifteen or twenty years ago.
In addition to changes in the textile industry in many other areas, to include an increase in the cost of cotton, some companies are switching away from the Gore-Tex membrane, to various types of microporous polyurethane.
In my opinion, polyurethane is not likely to be breathable like Gore-Tex is, and waxed cotton is only going to last so long before you get soaked.
In addition, you will notice when you look up the Gore-Tex brand online, many are claiming to use recycled Gore-Tex, so I am not sure how that takes the offending PFC compounds out of the environment.
In the case of Gore-Tex boots, certain companies, like Patagonia who made excellent waterproof hiking boots ten or fifteen years ago for around $200, are now obsolete. They have since partnered with another company and sell their waterproof boots for over $600.
Patagonia has also partnered with Gore-Tex and Bionic to create a men’s jacket in 2023 called “StormShadow Parka” which is listed at $899 US.
One of the non Gore-Tex companies that makes great coats in my opinion, is the Swedish brand Fjallraven. The coats will not keep you dry in very wet weather, but are an excellent choice for the urban walker.
In addition to it being a nice looking textile, not too rugged, yet sort of city casual, in a waxed cotton blend – the coat is knee length, unbelted, and has a good hood. But the best part is the pockets. It has two zippered pockets on the outside, two zippered pockets on the inside, and even a large net pocket inside for an umbrella.
It means you can carry your phone in one pocket, your keys in another pocket so you don’t scratch your phone, and your wallet, credit cards, cash etc. in the inside pockets. Another good thing about it is the loose fitting design allows you to wear layers, or even a light down coat underneath it in colder weather.
Another company that sells some decent outdoor coats is Cabela’s. I have read that in recent years they have outsourced to the extent the product quality has tanked.
But in the past, they did make some good warm coats. There are still some quality Cabela coats floating around in the second hand market that are very warm, Gore-Tex, and still waterproof.
I noticed they have new women’s parkas listed on their website that range between $450-$800. Interesting to note, the more expensive one is nylon with goose down, not Gore-Tex. The other Cabela coat claims to have a waterproof shell, but no Gore-Tex. It looks like their Gore-Tex days may be over. Before we know it – vintage Gore-Tex will be the rage.
Companies that continue to sell Gore-Tex coats include Arcteryx, which are Made in China and have a price range $400-$1100. Mountain Equipment Co-Op has a few ranging in price from $400 – $800.
Roxy, Marmot, L.L Bean and Patagonia are still selling Gore-Tex jackets. However in some cases, it appears the technology has changed since some are described as recycled, and others say there is a bonded membrane onto nylon. Regardless the price point for anything listed as Gore-Tex is usually over $500.
One of Canada’s most renowned luxury brand coats is Canada Goose. They sell mostly down parkas for cold and snow, but they also sell rain shells. They sell a nice looking knee length women’s rain coat for around $800. It is very lightweight. They use a registered trademark technology called Tri-Durance, which they describe as a three layer bonded hardshell fabric crafted from 52% nylon, 25% polyurethane, 20% polyester and 3% spandex.
Although I know Canada Goose makes good parkas, I am not sure about the rain coats and how they compare with Gore-Tex. One thing I do not like about Canada Goose is that some of their coats have large lettering down one arm, and all of them have logo decals sewn onto the coat.
I realize many, or even most outdoor coats have some kind of branding, but for instance the Fjallraven logo is only about an inch wide. The Arcteryx also has fairly discreet logos. I think it is a mistake for Canada Goose to place such an excessive amount of branding on a coat, especially since it is known for being a very expensive brand. It seems a bit garish or gauche to have to advertise for the company while wearing a $1200 coat.
However the brand does hold its value, even in the second hand market. If you look on Poshmark, there are many used Canada Goose coats ranging in price from $300-$1200.
As with Gore-Tex coats, a similar price increase can be seen in Gore-Tex boots. They are becoming more expensive. If they change the technology to use nylon and polyurethane, I don’t think they would be allowed to advertise it as Gore-Tex. I guess that is why many companies are using recycled Gore-Tex now, so they can still use the branding.
The reason all of this even occurred to me, is because today I went out in the snow, puddles and slush, wearing a pair of Patagonia Gore-tex boots, with the traditional Vibram sole.
They are slip resistant, and are so comfortable. I put felt insoles in them, and it is like walking in bedroom slippers, without the slip.
Because the snow is now melting (thankfully), there were many deep puddles to navigate, so I had no choice but to walk right through them. The water was almost to the top of the boot in many places, but by the time I got home, my feet and socks were still bone dry. The Patagonia Gore-Tex hiking boots are the best I have ever owned.
So if you have a Gore-Tex coat or boots that you love, hang onto them, unless you don’t want them anymore of course.
But it is pretty clear that although Gore-Tex may not be completely phased out, it will be harder to find, and much more expensive than it was in the past.
Personally I do not see how recycled Gore-Tex can be that much more environmentally friendly than regular Gore-Tex.
When I see outdoor wear like fleece jackets with promotional tag lines like “We make good use of recycled garbage” or “This jacket is made of x number of recycled plastic bottles”, it doesn’t exactly give you the warm fuzzies. Next we will be seeing $800 coats that are made out of pampers.
Then they can create a legit slogan called “Pamper Yourself – we only had to use a dozen diapers to cover your cold wet butt!”
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The only maker’s mark on this incredible art nouveau vanity set, is on the scissors. They are stamped with Keisler & Co. Germany.
The set also features two large matching picture frames, which are not usually part of early 20th century vanity sets.
Given the fact it is at least a hundred years old, it is remarkable that all the decorative elements are undamaged, and perhaps most of all the large mirror, with bevelled glass, is as clear as can be.
The art nouveau dragonfly design featured on all the pieces, has green and amber rhinestones, all of which are secure and intact.
The set itself has the traditional somewhat mottled, and decorative yellow toned celluloid, on top of carved honey amber bakelite. Each piece in the set has a matching design.
Celluloid was one of the earliest plastics, therefore it is becoming increasingly rare. It was replaced by Bakelite, and other thermoset plastics by the 1930’s.
A couple of cool things about this set, is that the elongated trinket jar with a handle, has an emery board mounted underneath the lid.
It also has a corset hook, which is not something we see in any modern day manicure sets.
One thing to be aware of is that celluloid is very flammable, therefore it should never be placed near candles or an open flame. It was especially problematic during the early film era when it was used with moving parts that would tend to heat up.
From 1855 – 1940’s celluloid was also commonly used in toys, jewelry, compacts, knives, and fountain pens. It was also used in ping pong balls.
It should not be stored in plastic, and the pieces should be wrapped so they are not touching each other. It is also best to keep it out of direct sunlight, and stored in a cool dark place. It is fine to place it on a dresser away from heat or flames.
This is a one of a kind vanity set, which has been well cared for, and has stood the test of time.
Such a set also has historical merit, as it can never be reproduced in any capacity. By the 1940’s celluloid was obsolete.
Even though we might be told to view someone as a “wonderful Christian” – the Bible makes it very clear, there is no such person, with the exception of Christ.
There is not a single human being who has ever fit such a category, not even the Apostles. All of God’s servants are sanctified by grace, and even so, remain vulnerable to the temptations of sin.
None of the Apostles referred to each other or themselves, as being wonderful Christians. They remained humble, as they understood it was very important to avoid being arrogant. Pious religious superiority was a distinctive trait of the Pharisees, not the servants of Christ.
Romans 3:23 KJV states ” For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
This truth is stated in multiple locations throughout the Bible. In fact, in the Book of Revelation, the seven churches addressed at the beginning of the book, are repeatedly told to repent.
This means all Christians are called upon to examine themselves, and repent. Repentance is not just for the unbelievers, but also for the believers. It is not only for those who do obviously sinful acts, but also for those who manipulate, deceive, exploit others, or have excessive pride.
When John the Baptist arrived on the scene, to preach the coming of Christ, his primary message to all people, was to repent. He suffered persecution and a horrific death, yet he was unwavering in his message. Prior to his death, he did not walk around claiming to be a wonderful Christian.
Therefore anyone who thinks they are a wonderful Christian, is filled with false pride, and the truth in not in them.
1 John 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
Anyone who promotes someone else as being some kind of deity, or wonderful exalted Christian, is establishing a cult worship and following, not a Christian one.
How often do we hear pious Christians claim other people need to repent, yet they do not seem to think it applies to them?
If the wonderful Christian is out to manipulate and exploit people, of course the gullible are expected to view then as wonderful saints.
That is exactly how cults and cult leaders gain the trust of the followers. They place themselves on a pedestal, and can do no wrong. Yet they are little more than wolves in sheep’s clothing.
The reason for the clear Biblical instructions to repent, and to understand all people fall short of the glory of God, is to prevent people from worshipping themselves, or another person, instead of worshipping God.
If we are prone to worshipping man, we can easily be deceived and fall into cult practices. We are also less likely to do any serious self examination.
There are certain people who call themselves Christians, who I knew, listened to, and observed for many years. Yet I did not once hear them say they needed to repent.
They would not even apologize for blatant lies, exploitation and wrongdoing, no matter what. They were elitist and untouchable. Some of them believed they were above all, above the law, and as pure as the driven snow.
It is true that our sins are forgiven, if we repent, and truly believe in Christ, what he did for us on the cross, and his death and resurrection. It is the central promise of the gospel.
We are not forgiven because we are wonderful Christians but rather, because we have acknowledged the fact we are not wonderful Christians.
We are forgiven because we have recognized and admitted our sins. If so, we have genuine remorse, will confess, repent, and change our ways.
Most of all – we will understand forgiveness is granted by the grace of God. It has nothing to do with any Christian being wonderful.
Even the most gifted among God’s people committed grievous sins. King David, King Solomon, and Noah were not without sin.
We live in a secular world, where even the mention of sin brings a haughty response. How dare anyone call wrongdoing a sin! Even if it is a premeditated, willful violation of the law, and morality – it is often denied, referred to as a mistake, or attributed to mental illness.
If we become ensnared in the concept of elitism, riches, pride, self exaltation, and worshipping wolves in sheep’s clothing, how far is that from falling into the trap of worshipping the beast?
The Bible is full of warnings about deception, false pride and arrogance.
As Christians we are blessed when we are humbled. It sounds like a contradiction, and is often a painful experience. However pride brings disgrace, and humility brings wisdom.
Some people go through their entire lives full of false Christian arrogance. But sooner or later, they too will be humbled.
We are not better than other people. We do not serve the will of man, especially those who are prone to false pride and exploitation. They are not superior.
No matter how exalted, how rich, how full of arrogance a person is, they are delusional if they think this makes them special. Even the most well known Christians in the Bible understood they were not better than other people. They did not go out and preach self glory. They glorified God.
Although we are thankful for the help and encouragement of other people in our lives, we do not worship them, or view them as infallible.
In fact we are grateful to God, and no one has the right to tell us who or what to be grateful for. We might be grateful to a stranger who helped us lift a heavy object, or treated us with respect.
We might be grateful to the author of a good book we read. We might be grateful that we have enough food to eat, or can take a hot bath. As we age, we are grateful for our health and independence.
No one has the right to tell us what to be grateful for. No one can give us orders to be grateful for the health and well being of our children, and grandchildren. True gratitude does not rely on the orders of someone else. To each their own, when it comes to gratitude.
Even God does not give us orders regarding what, and who to be grateful for. True gratitude belongs to God.
Gratitude, like humility – comes from the heart. Just as it is with all things the Bible says about false pride, arrogance, and deception, it also tells us that only Christ knows our hearts, and true intentions.
Gratitude is a good practice, and helps to keep us humble. We live by faith, and faith is also something to be grateful for, as it gives us assurance and peace.
Other people, no matter how self exalted or powerful they are, do not get to dictate what we are to be grateful for.
The notion or claims of wonderful Christians, combined with orders to be grateful for those wonderful Christians, comes from a place of pride and cultish deception.
For their sake, we can only hope they will eventually be humbled, and repent. They are setting themselves up for failure. They are lying. Fictitious, and so-called wonderful Christians, are not the path to salvation.
Jesus said in John 14″6 “I am the way, and the truth, and the life”.
If people deny the truth, they will lose their way. They should take truth seriously. Deception and pride is not from God.
I do not intend to sound cynical about all Christians. Just as I have known some who are deceptive, cruel, shunning, and full of themselves, I have also known others who are just the opposite.
They were kind, empathic, humble, accepting, giving, warm, and loving. They demonstrated their Christianity in the way they treated others, showing the fruits of the Spirit.
In fact the Bible tells us in Mathew 7:20 KJV “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”
Galatian 5:22 KJV “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith.”
As much as I wish I had been more discerning throughout my life, and quicker to repent myself – I am grateful for knowing people who do have the fruits of the Spirit.
One of them was a neighbour on the farm where I grew up. Another was an elderly woman named Elsie, who I met in White Rock thirty some years ago. They were both incredibly kind, accepting, and full of love. I will always hold those women, and many other kind people, near and dear to my heart.
The kind neighbour on the farm who lived nearby, had a tremendous influence on my life. I always found her to be gentle, caring, kind, and loving. I would beg to tag along on visits to her house, so I could talk to her, ask her questions about God, and play with the lambs they had on their farm.
I still clearly remember when I was around three years old, she told me God does not allow a sparrow to fall to the ground, and that He even knows the number of hairs on my head, so He will take care of me.
I was so amazed at what she told me, it stuck with me forever. I marvelled at little birds, and people with thick curly hair, and wondered how God could know so much. I would even try to touch people’s hair, just to see how thick it was. But by the time I started school, I soon found out, they would get annoyed, so I left their hair alone.
Even though we have come across some real gems in our lifetime, we should still be aware – the fruits of the Spirit, are from God, not the person. God calls us according to His purpose, not ours.
We all grow up in a world with both the wheat and the tares. We would be wise to figure out ahead of time, which of the two we choose to be.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Plastic surgery is a steadily growing trend, for both men and women. Breast augmentation and liposuction seem to be the procedures that remain at the top of the list.
However, blepharoplasty, or the removal of excess skin from the eyelids, is right up there in popularity. In fact, it is one of the surgeries that can be a good thing. Other than improving appearance, it can also improve the vision, because the excess and sagging tissue around the eyes reduces the visual field. The cost is between $5000 and $7000.
The cost of breast augmentation varies among Provinces, but ranges between $10,000 and $15,000. Although we tend to think of it as a celebrity type obsession, it can be a blessing for those who have had mastectomies. On the downside, huge breasts might be considered an asset for some, but for the most part, those with smaller breasts are much better off.
Why? Because people with naturally smaller breasts are usually on the thinner side. They can do all sports without needing to wear wired hardware to support their breasts. They do not get nerve pain in their shoulders from bra straps. They are not limited in what kind of clothes they wear. And if they want to have a little more shape, they can wear a padded bra. So in my opinion, consider a B cup to be a blessing.
The other thing about breast augmentation to enlarge the breasts, is that they might look kind of strange on a sixty or seventy year old woman. When we are young, we do not project our age into the future. We seem to think we can lock it into our youth. But, that is not realistic.
Aging eventually ceases to be all about beauty, and becomes more about health, energy, comfort, and mobility.
Liposuction is also at the top of the high demand procedures. The cost varies depending on what part of the body the fat is removed from, ranging from $1500 to $7500, with the breasts being the most costly.
The total amount of fat that can be removed in a session, is reported to be between five and eight pounds. That is actually a hefty amount, to have sucked out of your body, in a matter of minutes.
Personally, I believe it is much better to go on a diet and lose weight naturally. Even though the surgery may seem simple, and minor, there is a significant disruption in nerve endings and fat distribution, that may or may not turn out well.
Rhinoplasty used to be at the top of the list, but is now surpassed by other procedures. The cost is up to around $10,000. For those who have had their nose broken, or a deviated septum, or a very large or hooked nose, it can make a big difference in appearance, and be worthwhile.
But it also carries the risk of a botched job. If the surgeon makes the nose too short, there is not much that can be done about it after the fact. Just look at pictures of Michael Jackson, to see what they did to his nose. All the money in the world cannot put your old nose back. In fact, when plastic surgery becomes a racket, it is almost like the Humpty Dumpty story.
Facelifts used to be more popular, but it seems botox, collagen fillers, and other wrinkle smoothing procedures, have reduced the popularity of facelifts. The problem with facelifts, is that for those with a high forehead, or thinning hair, the surgical scar is very evident, and requires a lot of makeup to cover.
Facelifts cost $7,500 – $10,000. In the right circumstances with a good outcome, and a strong natural hairline, the facelift can make a big difference. However, as it is with botox, the skin can seem tight, or unmoving, and take away the emotional expressions on a person’s face.
One thing I noticed while working as an RN, is that a person’s demeanour will often be etched into their expression. Those with a history of chronic depression, had a downward pull on their mouths, and a depressed, sad looking face.
Some looked very haggard, and even mean. Whereas others looked quite beautiful, with signs of age, but still had good skin, bright eyes, and a warm smile. So our demeanour is probably more important than any kind of plastic surgery in the long run.
A more recent, and rather bizarre trend is the Brazilian butt lift. This is probably one of the most dangerous surgeries of all. The cost varies, but starts at around $12,000, and is more likely to be $20,000. The procedure involves liposuction from certain areas of the body. After that the fat is purified somehow, and then injected into the buttocks. Not only is it expensive and high risk, but it is strange too. In my opinion, it is one of the surgeries to rethink and avoid.
Another high risk surgery is gastric stapling to prevent over eating. In some cases, the person becomes malnourished, or has constant gut problems, causing them to become very unhealthy. The deaths associated with this procedure are alarmingly high. In addition, the surgery itself does not address the crux of the problem, which is how food relates to the emotions, and can have addictive properties.
Abdominoplasty, often referred to as a tummy tuck, involves surgery to remove sagging skin from the lower abdomen. The objective in this surgery, is not so much to remove fat, but to remove the sagging skin after weight loss. The cost ranges between $10,000 and $15,000. In addition, because it involves cutting into the abdominal muscles, the post op period can be very painful.
And finally, there is the lip filling trend. This is another procedure that ends up looking very strange. It would probably be fine, if the filler or the lip contours had a very subtle boost. However, so many of them end up looking outrageous.
As with all things related to plastic surgery, some people tend to think more is better. There is a critical risk, versus benefit evaluation to be made. The risk is not only about money, or a waste of money, it is about your life.
If you lose money on any other purchase, you can get rid of it, and write it off as a bad idea, or a bad investment. But of all investments, a major mistake, pertaining to a high risk surgical procedure, can be a matter of life and death, or create long term, irreversible health problems.
It is not just a matter of making a mistake in judgement yourself. Once embarking on the surgical procedure, you are placing yourself in the hands of another person.
Therefore, you are potentially compounding the risk for error, because you are not in control of the procedure. The surgeon has to be credible, and the instruments, sterile field, and competency of the surgical team, are of utmost importance as well. They too, can make mistakes, or be shoddy in technique. Some of them talk a good game, but many are motivated by quick turnover, and high profits.
As far as going to a different country for cheap plastic surgery, you have to consider the worst case scenarios. If things go terribly awry, how will you get home? What health care coverage do you need, in order to get you the care you need, and to get you home? And how will you evaluate the credibility, and history of the plastic surgeon in a foreign country?
A few years ago, I watched a panel discussion where a group of people talked candidly about their plastic surgeries. One thing that was very notable, was many of them looked better in the before pictures, than in the after pictures. They robbed themselves of their own natural beauty. In addition, the more plastic surgeries a person had, the worse it got.
So the key takeaway on plastic surgery, is to quit while you are ahead. There is no such thing as perfection, and perception does not accurately project perfection. In fact, it is more likely to project insecurity, and unrealistic expectations.
There are certain cosmetic procedures that improve appearance, and can benefit a person. But at all costs, a person should avoid multiple cosmetic surgeries, and recognize the underlying emotional or mental health aspects of what drives a person to completely alter their natural appearance.
The other thing to consider when doing the research, is that almost every single site you google or look into, is actually promoting the surgery. They, like the pharmaceutical industry, will downplay the risks, and pad the benefits. So take it all with a grain of salt.
And finally, for those who are making the choice to get plastic surgery, seek out a good surgeon, and choose what you want to improve wisely. Aging is not preventable. Vanity is not worth all that much at the end of the day.
It is not to say improvements in appearance are a bad thing. In fact, there are good reasons for some of the cosmetic surgeries. It is not a matter of judging others, but rather, it is a matter of being able to objectively judge certain things about yourself.
For some reason though, people can get addicted to body altering. There are people who have upwards of $700,000 worth of surgical procedures. Many have died in the process. The outcome for a lot of them is garish, and overdone. They go to the extremes of having ribs removed, and injecting fillers into their cheeks that end up looking like tumours. Yet they cannot seem to quit.
In some ways it is like tattoos. It starts with one, and for some people, ends up covering the entire body. The skin is the bodies largest organ. We should always keep that in mind. Whatever is put onto the skin, is absorbed into the blood stream, and lymphatic system. It also impacts the hair follicles and sweat glands. Tattoos are not only skin deep. Some of the ink actually ends up in the lymph nodes, especially when there are large tattoos near the lymph nodes, such as in the neck.
In addition, we should keep in mind that we have facial nerves that are part of the cranial nerves, and brainstem. Therefore the face, and the skin, are very much part of the entire body. Changing appearance, could also affect the central nervous system, and vital organs. So it is not to be taken lightly.
If there is a body altering procedure that should be banned altogether, in my opinion, no one should ever even consider having their eyeballs tattooed. Most of us have not even heard of such a thing, but it is another trend to be wary of.
What is it exactly? The sclera, or white part of the eyes are tattooed. Some are tattooed black, some are green, and others are red or blue. In addition to looking demonic, it is a procedure that can never be reversed. The long term effects on vision, the optic nerves, and the brain, are unknown. So this one tops the list for being both dangerous, and ugly.
It makes me wonder if a person would cut off their ears, if they thought it looked cool.
The foremost thing to keep in mind when it comes to plastic surgery, and other body altering procedures, is limits, safety, and perception. Less is more, and surely dieting beats liposuction. It is much cheaper too.
When we think of appearance, and how we perceive ourselves, the inner person cannot be separated from the outer person. I think the biggest pitfall of the surgical alterations, is the inability to differentiate between the need for emotional healing, mental health therapies, and plastic surgery. Plastic surgery will not fix intrinsic insecurities. It becomes a futile quest, and is what makes the person end up looking bizarre.
Anyone who tries too hard to look perfect, might end up looking like the perfect bimbo. Or a zombie from outer space. It might be better to try to age with grace.
When you consider the number of missing people in British Columbia alone, it makes you realize venturing into the great outdoors, does carry a significant amount of risk. Of course, outdoor adventure is not the only reason people go missing, but it is one of the many contributors to such mysteries.
In Canada, British Columbia has the highest number of people who go missing, followed by Manitoba, and interestingly, Nunavut has the lowest number per capita. In BC the numbers are staggering at 258 per 100,000 people. Manitoba has 152 per 100,000 and Nunavut has just 5 per 100,000 people.
To gain some perspective on those numbers, the overdose death rate in BC is around 57 per 100,000 people. Heart attacks and strokes account for around 195 deaths per 100,000.
When a person goes missing with no contact or signs of activities of daily living, for a significant period of time, I think in most cases, they can be presumed dead. Even if a small handful of the missing are eventually found alive, it is still an alarming statistic in BC, that is often downplayed, or under reported.
There are many reasons people go missing, to include foul play, injuries, accidents, getting lost, mental illness, abductions, drownings, animal attacks, dementia, suicides, and a variety of unknown reasons.
Occasionally a person chooses to go missing, to establish a new identity in another location. However, that kind of missing person is a rarity, as it requires a significant amount of planning, and resources to execute such a plan. When people are alive, they need money, and money usually leaves a trail. So the person who runs away, must have access to a new identity, and money.
Those who study the missing person cases, have learned about risk factors. Things like hitch-hiking, drug and alcohol abuse, solo hikes, and vulnerabilities that cause people to become targets.
However, if we concentrate on the outdoor adventure missing persons, and leave the other suspicious cases to law enforcement, we can come up with some common denominators.
Rugged terrain, unpredictable weather, getting lost, taking a divergent route without notifying anyone, not leaving detailed travel plans, the inability to read a map, or use a compass, inadequate preparation for the conditions, bodies of water, and solo outings, all increase the risk associated with outdoor adventure.
When it comes to solo hiking trips, even the most experienced hiker is taking major risks. A slip and fall on icy slopes, or moss covered rocks, can end up being a death sentence. The wilderness is vast, and even with hundreds of volunteer searchers, they may never find a person who has fallen into a crevasse, or been swept away in a river.
We all do dumb things. I went hiking by myself many times, in locations where there was no cell phone coverage. If I would have needed help for any reason, it would have been a matter of fate.
During the time I lived on Haida Gwaii, it could take hours to get an ambulance or helicopter to a distress call, even if the person had a satellite phone. Then, it took many more hours to get the injured person stabilized, and on a medevac flight to a hospital in Vancouver.
Therefore outdoor adventure in very remote locations, is probably more dangerous than most people realize.
Recently I watched a show on Outdoor Disasters that described a backpacking trip in the mountains of Wyoming, taken by a 48 year old pastor. He frequently went on solo hiking trips, and in this particular case, it was to be a nine day trek. He was physically fit, confident, and experienced in the outdoors. He also took his dog with him.
However, he ended up changing his planned route, and midway into the hike, he stepped on a large boulder, which was unstable so he quickly jumped to the next one, and ended up getting his legs pinned between the boulders. During the days he was stuck there, he wrote a fairly detailed journal.
The fact he was missing was not discovered until he failed to show up to meet his family at a designated meeting place, after the nine day trip. When he failed to show up, his wife notified the authorities and the searches began.
The searchers had no way of knowing he had changed his route, and the search area was rugged and vast, so they had no luck in finding him. Plus unbeknownst to them, he had already been trapped for days before the search even began.
Eventually the search was called off. But incredibly after all that time, his dog was found.
Weeks later, a hiker who happened to be hiking in the area of his accident, came upon his body, and knew immediately that it must be the missing pastor, as there had been many flyers, and notifications posted after he went missing.
Even though he died before help arrived, thankfully for his family, he was found, and due to the journal writings, they knew what had happened. They also knew his state of mind, and saw the messages of love, and apologies he wrote to his loved ones, which was a real blessing.
In so many missing person cases, the family never knows what happened to their loved one. They can never stop wondering, and often agonize over the imagined plight, or terrors they may have experienced. They are left in a state of limbo, sometimes refusing to give up hope that they may be found alive.
Many of the family members who go through such an ordeal will claim that not knowing, is more excruciating than knowing what happened. Even though they still have to face the grieving, they are relieved, and can plan a funeral or burial.
Accidents do happen, and people die in accidents more often in urban locations, than in remote locations because of traffic accidents, and other hazards.
In some ways, all we can surmise, is that we all have an appointment with death. But we don’t have the date or time, written in any appointment calendar.
But in hindsight, I do believe that a person who is going on solo hiking, or any outdoor adventure trips, should always take a locater beacon with a satellite positioning feature, and the ability to make an SOS call.
The personal locator beacons now cost around $500.00. When you consider the loss of life, or limb, as well as the hours and days of helplessness the poor person has to endure, it is a very worthwhile investment. It is more valuable than any other insurance plan you can purchase. And like all the various insurances we purchase, we never give it a second thought, unless we need it. We can go years without ever making an insurance claim, but would not want to be without it, if something did happen.
Also, when you consider all the hours of searching, to include, planes, helicopters, and ground searches, often placing the search and rescue teams, and volunteers in peril, it is a small investment to make.
Freedom is what it is, with an immeasurable value to the human psyche. The freedom to experience the profound beauty, and expanse of the great outdoors, has no comparisons. It is understandable why people choose to seek solitude in nature’s beauty.
But when creating the bucket list of outdoor adventures, and all the things you will need, when planning a trip, the locator beacon should be right up there with water and food.
It is a small price to pay, if you really do slip up, and end up in a bind.
It brings to mind a whole set of questions surrounding the rapidly developing world of AI. I was wondering if an Apple air tag would do the trick. But apparently you have to be near another Apple device for it to work.
I also wonder if maybe he could have put an air tag on his dog? How far away does the other Apple device have to be, in order for it to work, to locate someone or something that is missing? Apparently they can work from thousands of miles away, but only if there are signals near by from other Bluetooth devices.
They are not intended to be used to find people, but it might not be a bad idea, to add a couple of those to your “how to find me” if I ever get lost insurance plans. After all, a person is far more important than lost luggage, or a lost iPad.
If you are looking for natural, warm sheepskin slippers, these are an excellent choice, and can be ordered online from Egli’s Sheep Farm in Saskatchewan.
I came close to ordering a pair of Ugg sheepskin slippers, but did not want to wait for them to be shipped from Australia, or the US.
Plus I have seen so many knock offs of UGG products over the years, and never really liked the brand that much anyway, other than the fact they use sheepskin.
I much prefer to order from Canada if possible, as part of the support in buying local, and also in encouraging the growth of Canadian SME’s.
Canada makes some great products. Canadians tend to be detail oriented, and pragmatic, so we lean toward quality of workmanship. We have also experienced our fair share of cold weather.
Also there are many brands advertised as sheepskin on sites like Amazon, but they only have a sheepskin insole, and the rest of the slipper is synthetic.
The other factor to consider is the sole. I did not want a stiff plastic sole that makes noise when you walk. So it took awhile to find the perfect pair of real shearling slippers, that are not 80% outsourced with just enough wool to make the claim of being shearling. Or made in China, with advertising to claim they use wool from Canada, Australia or NZ, to make them sound more authentic.
Nothing beats genuine sheepskin slippers. The wool allows your feet to breathe, and the natural lanolin in the wool moisturizers and protects your feet.
Years ago I did some diabetic teaching, and during that time took a couple of diabetic foot care courses. The principles surrounding foot care applies to all age groups, and those with, and without foot problems.
For those who have healthy feet, you want to keep them healthy. We all know how much we take our feet for granted, because we hardly notice them until we get a blister. One small blister is hard to ignore.
Conditions like plantar fasciitis are made worse by the cold temperatures, because the cold causes the tissues in the joints to contract, which pulls on the nerve endings and increases the pain. This applies to most conditions of the feet, including heel and arch pain.
For those who have reduced sensation in their feet, they may not notice a blister until it is quite severe. For that reason, all those who do diabetic teaching tell people to inspect their feet every day, to make sure there are no blisters or other injuries.
For people with any sort of vascular insufficiency related to diabetes, pregnancy, heart disease, edema, prior trauma to the legs or feet, neurological disorders, etc. foot care is crucial to maintaining mobility.
One of the things the instructor warned us not to use on anyone’s feet, are those drug store packages of foot care items, like the ones you see for callouses, bunions, and other foot problems. She said more people, especially diabetics, have lost a leg from using those sticky home remedies, than will ever be realized.
She went on to explain the foot stickers for corns and callouses, are dangerous for those with reduced sensation in their feet, because they tend to wrinkle, and bunch up inside the shoe, thus increasing the likelihood of injury, or making an existing injury worse.
If you use insoles for boots, it is far better to get sheepskin, or wool felt insoles, as opposed to the foam ones you see in drug stores, usually in the same section they have all the other foot related items.
The instructor wisely told us to advise people to use fluffy sheared wool to apply to pressure points, and areas prone to injury or blistering. She even had small bags full of wool for us to take home.
In addition to the warmth, breathability, lanolin, and lack of friction to the feet, that is part of wearing sheepskin sippers, they envelop the whole foot.
In my opinion, it is important to find sheepskin slippers that cover the sides and top of your feet as well. It is the optimal type of slipper to buy.
If you do the research, you will soon find the price range for all sheepskin slippers ranges between $100 – $150, and you will also notice that not all sheepskin slippers are created equally. The more natural, the better, including the outsides, and the soles.
I was using the term shearling and sheepskin synonymously, but there is a difference between the two. Apparently shearling is made from lambs that have been shorn once, and sheepskin is made from shorn sheep. However it can be confusing, as there are different varieties of each. Yet the descriptions of both are very similar. So I guess you would have to be an expert to know both the similarities, and the differences.
And yes, it is best to wear them without socks, because all friction is avoided, and the foot gets the benefit of the lanolin.
If you do choose to wear them with socks, or seek the perfect socks for your lifestyle, another excellent Canadian company, called Great Canadian Sox Co. makes a range of socks, to include a most comfortable blend of cashmere, and merino wool, at a reasonable price.
100% cashmere socks are very expensive, and are often sold as bed socks, as they do not last long if worn for everyday walking. Therefore the merino wool blend with the cashmere, makes for a comfortable softness, combined with durability.
Some sock sellers will claim their socks are merino wool when they only have 11% merino wool. Or they will advertise them as cashmere, with only 5% cashmere, and the rest nylon or polyester.
Also some 100% merino wool socks, such as Icebreaker, make their socks with tight tops, which is not ideal for anyone with cold feet, or vascular insufficiency. Tight socks around the lower calf are not very comfortable in my opinion. But like most things, it is a matter of personal preference.
It is best to read the fabric content labels. The Great Canadian Sox Co. sells Vagden (not vegan) socks that are 55% merino and 30% cashmere. They are durable enough to wear for everyday walking, and are not too thick. They quickly become favourites, and you may not want to wear any other brand of socks during the winter months, once you try their cashmere and merino wool socks.
One of the key things for those with vascular insufficiency, diabetes, or just perpetually cold feet, especially in the winter months, is that warmth, in addition to the comfort it brings, it is also healing.
It is the reason people use heating pads, hot water bottles, saunas, hot tubs, hot spring mineral pools, and other therapies that warm the whole body, the extremities, or certain parts of the body.
The warmth increases blood supply to the area, and thus helps the muscles to relax, as well as promoting healing.
Thankfully I don’t have diabetes, but did get an injury to my achilles tendon in my youth, which required surgery. Plus, I naturally have cold hands and cold feet, even indoors, and especially in the winter.
In long term care, they use sheepskin pads to help prevent bedsores, and sheepskin booties to help prevent heel sores for those who are bedridden.
There are many reasons to put your feet into a pair of real, genuine sheepskin slippers. I have always been a big fan of wool, and sheepskin on your feet during your hours at home, or sitting at a desk, makes so much sense.
At one point I even thought of putting a space heater under my desk to keep my feet warm, but the sheepskin is a much better idea, because you keep them on if you go to check the mail, or walk around. Plus you don’t have to increase the use of electricity.
I read many reviews on Amazon, before stumbling upon this website in Saskatchewan. Many of the reviews on Amazon described certain brands as having noisy, and stiff plastic soles. Others said there were uncomfortable ridges, or seams inside the slippers. And some complained they were either too floppy, and falling off, or else to difficult to get your foot into. I wanted to avoid those issues.
Therefore I ended up avoiding Amazon, and ordering from a sheep development website called Elgi’s in Saskatchewan, and found the perfect pair.
The soles are made of suede leather, with a slight texture so they are not stiff or slippery. Flexible leather soles are a big selling point for me, almost as important as the shearling itself. I like to be able to move the bottoms of my feet when I am sitting down, without a rigid, and unnatural constraint.
They stay comfortably and securely on your feet, even when getting up and down off a step ladder. The fur around the edges keeps your entire foot warm. There are no seams, binding, or uncomfortable ridges. They are comfortable from the moment you put them on.
After trying a few brands of slippers, to include wool felt, and hand made wool, these are by far the best overall. The company also sells a wool felt slipper with a wide toe box. They would be great for travel, as they are more packable. They are also very comfortable and loose fitting, without falling off. For the budget minded, the wool felt are an excellent choice for $28.00.
Once the order was processed, they arrived in three days. I will definitely give this company a five star review. No more cold feet! The Great Canadian Sox company also sells organic cotton socks, which are hard to find these days. In fact they have a range of socks to cover your feet for every kind of activity.
So whether you are sitting at your desk, or embarking on a winter hike, ski trip, or snowmobiling – treat your feet, and your whole body will thank you!
This is just an opinion, and is not based on any real familiarity or experience with OnlyFans, or even Instagram, and other visible online platforms, so please take it with a grain of salt.
The main attraction for the entertainer who is using a platform like OnlyFans, seems to be the growing online popularity of exhibitionism, stripping, fetishes, and various niche market sex promotion, so the really popular models and performers make a lot of money. In fact, many of them claim the money is downright addictive. I watched some of them being interviewed on a YouTube site called “Soft White Underbelly”.
It might be safer in some ways to work online, although it still does carry risks of attracting creepy online stalkers. But overall, it is better than getting in a car with some random stranger. It also probably beats strip clubs, and/or being controlled by a pimp.
The key thing about all, and any type of sex work, is that it puts young females at risk. In addition, if it involves anyone who is underage, it is illegal in most countries, and can get people who use the sites, placed on a sex offender’s list, if they are not careful to avoid underage imagery.
The perusers of any site with underage girls, could be busted for having child pornography, and if they have a career, it is ruined. Some teenage girls look older than they really are. So there is risk for all those who enter this domain, and other similar websites. I suppose the platform itself must carry some kind of legal obligation to prevent the exploitation of young girls. One would hope so.
By the looks of things, nothing is going to stop the growth and popularity of such a site. Therefore young girls should be educated about it, not lured into it, under the guise of modelling or dancing.
Ask any parent, and they will tell you that once a young person becomes an adult, they are still vulnerable, and naive. Even though a person turns eighteen or nineteen, that does not mean they have a full range of life’s experiences, lessons, or wisdom under their belt. Some are more cautious by nature than others. And others take more time to mature.
In my opinion, anyone who becomes a performer or model on the platform, should find out what the copyright laws are, who owns the imagery, and how the imagery can be used. For all I know, these parameters already exist. But they are very important parameters to establish and know about up front.
If someone poses, or does naked videos or performances on OnlyFans, or any Internet site, she is exposing herself to a lifetime of potential issues, that could include usage without permission, blackmailing etc.
We all do things in our youth that we might end up regretting, or want to put behind us. If a person uses such a platform, and then quits, gets a University degree, establishes a different career, gets married, and becomes a soccer mom – she may not want to be haunted by her own naked past.
I recall a story about a woman who was victimized, in a situation totally unrelated to her youth. But at some point in her youth, she had been a stripper. It was not online, or recorded, or anything, just a brief and short-lived job.
Apparently she was broke, jobless, and had stripped a handful of times in some random club, to make some quick money. At the time she thought it was no big deal. It did end up being a big deal, and tainted her reputation, as well as the outcome of her case, even though she thought she had put it behind her.
Many people believe the stigma surrounding sex work should not exist. Some people believe it should be legalized. Regardless of whether our beliefs are liberal, or prudish, the issue is one of protecting young girls from mistakes that might follow them, when they choose to leave the lifestyle behind. Or to help provide some foresight, before they choose to do it at all.
Glamour and fame is a high stakes game. It seems to take off like a whirlwind, but the vortex is too much for some people. There is no way a person can pace it all, and handle is with finesse. In some cases, it leads to tragedy.
There are countless Instagram models who have fallen to their death, become lost and frozen, been electrocuted, run over, or murdered, just for a glam photoshoot.
In Taiwan, there was a young woman who hiked mountains by herself, with an additional thirty pounds of camera gear, in order to photograph herself naked, or in a skimpy bikini, once she reached the summit.
You have to admit, it is quite a feat. She carried far more on her back, than was recommended for her thin frame. Sure enough, she ended up falling to her death. Sadly it took several hours, or it might have been several days, for her to die.
She was in a deep crevasse, and was able to contact help, but it took a long time for them to get to her. By the time they did find her, it was too late. She had multiple injuries, and suffered terribly. She probably faced many regrets in the hours before her death.
Another young Instagram model who was visiting Vancouver, decided to take a quick hike up one of the mountains on a beautiful sunny day, to take some photos for her followers.
She was not properly dressed for the weather conditions, went by herself, and did not know the mountain, or what she was getting herself into at all. It was also an area with avalanches, icy patches, sudden changes in wind and weather, and poorly marked trails. Plus it was wintertime, with short daylight hours.
In one photo, taken midday, she was beaming and full of life, with a beautiful and scenic backdrop. Within a couple of hours after that shot, she was lost, and in despair. She died of hypothermia before she was found.
The only lessons we can learn from all of this, is that Internet, Instagram, and OnlyFans type of attention, is almost like gold fever. People will set aside their better judgement, to get the perfect shot. This is happening to intelligent, energetic, dynamic young people who are driven to succeed.
Vanity is short-lived. It is like the trickster crow. Our own vanity will pull the wool over our eyes, faster than we can blink an eye.
So many of the lives lost, or exploited through these futile endeavours, are beautiful and creative young people, who are in the prime of their lives.
If only we could retrace our steps, and blot out our mistakes, or the things we wish we had not done. For some of us, we squeak past the perils, or lived in the age when selfies, and glamour poses were not such a big thing. Sometimes being unattractive is a blessing.
In spite of it all – glamorous and beautiful people still have insecurities. In fact, the more Instagram, and glamour photos a young woman does, the more insecure she is. It is a real conundrum.
It seems like it might be a better idea to focus less on image, and more on just doing things for fun, wholesome competition, and learning about your strengths, interests, gifts and what not.
I’m not sure what the answers are to all of the online imagery. But for anyone who does get involved in the online world of being filmed as a sex worker, I think it would be a good idea to have some legal parameters established upfront, in order to restrict the usage, and protect the person once they leave the platform.
I hope the Internet can be tamed, because vanity, impulsiveness, and the lure of quick money, cannot be subdued. Human nature cannot be bridled.
Ultimately, where does vanity go? I think the answer is – nowhere. It is the great gate to nowhere.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Some things people do will never be forgotten, especially if they are filmed and seen by millions of viewers. The Wrecking Ball show that Miley Cyrus did in 2013 was one of her most controversial acts, so much so, that it garnered a public outcry.
In the music video she swings naked from a large wrecking ball, and licks a sledgehammer, as she sings her song, in some parts, with sad looking eyes, and tears streaming down her face. She is definitely an actress.
But what did it mean? Apparently it was a metaphorical act to illustrate how she was knocking down the walls of an unsafe relationship. It was an exhibitionist portrayal of her broken heart, (and broken art).
In later years, she claimed none of it was her idea. The video faced a great deal of criticism, and was not accepted as being the least bit appropriate for a young teenage girl audience.
The point people were trying to make by being critical of her act, is not a matter of being judgemental. It is based on protecting young girls.
Teenage girls who do end up in the sex industry, are often lured into it at a very young age. Many come from broken homes, and a high percentage of them end up supporting a drug habit. For most of them, the glamorization of using raw sexuality to make money, leads to exploitation and despair.
We have to realize the majority of teenage girls who are lured into the sex industry, are not the wealthy children of a famous musician. They are not Disney land child stars. They have not had a chance to establish a career, or get an education. Therefore anyone who is in the position of being a role model, should keep those things in mind.
It was not the first time she received a backlash for her risque performances. In another show, she sang while perched on an ice cream cart, holding onto, and dancing around what looked like a stripper’s pole. She defended herself by saying the pole was used for stability, not to create the image of a stripper.
She also faced significant criticism for twerking, or gyrating and thrusting, in a highly sexualized manner with Robin Thicke during an MTM Music Video Award. Sometime after that performance, she expressed guilt and shame for what she had done.
Miley Cyrus is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, who is a famous country and western musician. Ironically, one of his most famous songs is “Achy Breaky Heart”.
One can be reasonably sure that if someone came along and did a highly sexualized, or any alternative version of Achy Breaky Heart – it would go over like a lead balloon. There is little doubt Billy Ray Cyrus would protect his own art, from being altered or exploited, or having the title used for some other musical production.
Perhaps that song was a foreshadowing of the Wrecking Ball mirage, which was done by his daughter, over her own achy breaky heart.
Would Miley Cyrus do a sexualized mockery or parody of any of Dolly Parton’s albums? Not a chance. Dolly Parton is her fairy godmother. Plus Dolly Parton would never allow anyone to use her material, including song titles, and album titles.
For certain, both Dolly Parton and Billy Ray Cyrus are well aware of the fame, and talent attributed to Emmylou Harris over the years. In fact, she is unprecedented in her vocal skills, and the range of artists she has been able to work with, for several decades.
For those of us who have been around awhile, the whole Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball concept is not the least bit original. Neil Young recorded the song Wrecking Ball, in 1989 in the album Freedom.
In 1995 Emmylou Harris teamed up with Daniel Lanois and recorded the album “Wrecking Ball”. Other artists included in this exceptionally artistic musical works included guest performances by Steve Earl, Neil Young, Larry Mullen Jr., Kate & Anna McGarrigle, and Lucinda Williams.
The Emmylou Harris Wrecking Ball album won a Grammy Award in 1996, and to this day is considered to be one of the most eclectic, and atmospheric recordings of all time.
The question in my mind, is why would people who are well versed in the industry, Billy Ray Cyrus and Dolly Parton, endorse or support such a tacky overture on the Wrecking Ball song, and album title originally done by Emmylou Harris and Neil Young?
You would think they would have steered Miley Cyrus away from such a glaring faux pas, involving her own career. Not only was the entire production tacky, but it was an exploitation of the album title of a much superior work of musical talent.
The moral of this story? Real talent has no regrets.
In my opinion, musicians with genuine talent, do not have to resort to taking their clothes off for attention. In fact, as Miley Cyrus has demonstrated, such short-sighted actions lead to criticism, shame and remorse.
There is no doubt that nakedness draws attention. It does not mean the act has musical or artistic merit. It just means there is wide spread attention when a woman takes her clothes off in public.
One of the most rapidly trending online entertainment sites, which started in England, is called OnlyFans. Apparently the website features and promotes sex workers, sexually explicit entertainers, strippers, pornography, and all kinds of show business in the sex promotion industry.
So where is the line drawn between sites like OnlyFans, and musical entertainers like Miley Cyrus who felt it was a good idea to strip down, and swing naked on a wrecking ball, to prove a point of some kind?
I believe that if a performer has to do music videos that involve nakedness, and twerking, one has to question where the talent is, and where such performances belong.
The real Wrecking Ball song, album, and concept belongs to the much classier and more original version done by EmmyLou Harris and Neil Young.
Few things in this world are truly original. And few things are worse than debasing, and rehashing what was exceptional, and top-notch, talented, musical recordings – long before Miley Cyrus came along, and took a wrecking ball to the concept of class and originality in music.
There is a line that should not be crossed. Either record music without getting naked, and licking a sledgehammer. Or go join OnlyFans, and stick to the genre of entertainment where you belong.
Artists like EmmyLou Harris, Neil Young, Steve Earl, Gillian Welch, and many other exceptional musicians, would not be caught dead doing outrageous attention seeking stripper acts. All of them have weathered decades long careers without resorting to stripping, twerking, and licking sledgehammers.
I realize some people like sensationalism, and to each his own.
But let’s be clear – a much more artistic version of Wrecking Ball preceded the Miley Cyrus version. And she most certainly undermined, and degraded the beauty, the artistic merit, and title of someone else’s idea, and musical production.
Unfortunately, some bad actors cannot be unseen. Uncouth copycat art, gets worse with every ostentatious, cheap, and garish reproduction.
Those who opt to do outlandish and sexually charged acts for attention, must also realize, they are bound to get plenty of criticism, especially if they are targeting an audience that is not age appropriate, or if they are in the wrong lane, so to speak. If they lash out at their critics, it only makes them look worse.
I also believe the copyright act should be strictly enforced, to prevent the exploitation, and mockery of original works of art. True art deserves respect and protection. Therefore, copycat art should be promptly filtered out.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The jewelry made by this designer, especially the necklaces, are few and far between. There are still a few J.L. Aldenkamp leopard brooches floating around on EBay and Etsy, and a narrow bracelet with pave crystals listed on Poshmark. But that’s about it.
The J.L. Aldenkamp maker’s mark is a triangular shape, which is known to some collectors of costume jewelry, especially those from the Netherlands and U.K.
Although I recognized the leopard necklace by this designer, is a high quality necklace, I was unable to identify the symbolic maker’s mark. It might be based on a stylistic A for the designer’s name, shaped into a triangle, with additional symbols inside of it.
Recently I received an email from Amanda Wells-Dodge, who was kind enough to provide the name of this obscure mid-century designer as J.L. Aldenkamp.
In this business, you learn something every day. Many thanks to Amanda!
Not to suggest that Canada, and every other country, is not rife with heartbreaking true crime stories, but some are just more notable than others. Even though this story is not a current story, as it happened more than thirty years ago, it is worth retelling since the killers are now out of jail.
This story is about a heartless crime toward a man who had become a successful, and renowned heart transplant surgeon in Australia.
Dr. Chang was an Australian transplant surgeon who was murdered in 1991 in a failed extortion, kidnapping attempt. He was on his way to work a the time, and had a patient waiting for a heart transplant when he was killed.
He was born in Shanghai China, and after his mother died of cancer when he was just twelve years old, he chose a career in medicine. His father sent him to school in Australia where he believed his gifted young son would have better educational and career choices.
As it turned out, he became a skilled, and accomplished transplant surgeon, rising to fame after a successful transplant on a fourteen year old girl in 1984. She desperately needed a transplant following a viral tonsillitis that infected her heart. Two years after the first transplant, the initial surgery failed, and she was required to go through a second heart transplant in 1986.
After the second transplant, she went on to lead a healthy life, and became the longest surviving transplant patient on record in Australia. She also became a tireless advocate for the work of Dr Chang and his team.
As a matter of interest, one of the longest surviving heart transplant patients globally, is from Canada. His name is Harold Sokyrka, and his transplant was carried out in 1986 in Ontario. He lived just one week short of thirty-five years following the transplant.
It took several years for the pioneers of this surgery to achieve success. The first heart transplant was performed in 1967 on a 53 year old patient in South Africa. He died of complications just eighteen days later.
At the time of his death, Dr. Chang and his team had performed 266 heart transplants during his career. His accomplishments were awe-inspiring, and even so, at that juncture of his life, he was at the top of his game. He would have performed many more heart transplant surgeries, if his life had not been cut short. He had a healthy stable family life, and was known to be a compassionate man.
He had no way of knowing he had been targeted. He was a man of routine, taking the same route to work each day. He had a wife, and three children, who were all at home, at the time of his murder.
The preposterous nature of the crime shocked Australia, and the world. Because he was targeted by Asian men, initially it was believed to have been gang related.
Rumours also circulated that perhaps he was targeted by Chinese authorities, because of his pro-democracy political leanings. But these theories proved to be unfounded.
The crux of the plot stemmed from initially three, then two Malaysian men who had racked up huge gambling debts. So they concocted a scheme to extort money from a rich and famous person, in order to pay off their gambling debts.
The majority of murder victims are killed by someone they know. This case falls into the random stranger attack category, which is always much more disturbing to the general public, as it makes people feel very vulnerable. There is a loss of security for all people, because if it can happen to a person who is simply on their way to work, it can happen to anyone.
In this case, Dr. Chang was well known, which put him in the crosshairs of deranged killers. It was a money making scheme they focused on for many weeks, yet the murder ended up being a hair brained impulsive act.
They saw an article about Dr. Chang while thumbing through a magazine, and randomly chose him as a target. It was as amateur, stupid, and ill-conceived as can be. Yet it cost this poor man his life.
Following the magazine selection, they watched him closely for weeks on end, to determine where he lived, and what his routines were. On the morning of the murder, they followed him on his way to work, and rammed his vehicle, staging a car accident, which forced him to pull off the freeway, and get out to talk to the men.
It did not take long for Dr. Chang to realize it was an extortion plot. The men demanded ten million dollars. He refused. They told him they were going to take him back to his house, and kill his family.
Dr. Chang was not going to allow these thugs to get near his family. He started calling out to people who were passing by to “Call the police, these men have guns”. One of the people walking by, came close to being shot as well. He managed to run away just seconds before Dr. Chang was shot.
When the Malaysian men could not gain the good doctor’s cooperation, one of them promptly shot him in the head, point blank.
If they would have left at that point, he would still be alive, because the first shot was not fatal, even though it knocked him out. Unfortunately, the crazy criminal shot him again.
Remarkably, the killer dropped his wallet at the crime scene, with all kinds of evidence in it. The police were able to identify him, track him down, and soon after, his accomplice was also captured, even though he had left the country.
Given the fact these men were gamblers, one can see the patterns of high risk and impulsive behaviours, with little chance of succeeding.
There was also unbridled greed, considering they demanded ten million dollars. They set themselves up for failure, and killed a man for no reason. They gained nothing but a lengthy prison sentence.
Both men were charged, and sentenced to around 25 years in jail. They have since been paroled, and were promptly deported.
One of the men convicted of this crime, was already in advanced stages of Parkinson’s disease by the time of his release. Although it is probably of little consolation to the family, he made a heart-felt plea for forgiveness, expressing profound remorse.
Dr. Chang’s legacy lives on, through his family, as well as his lengthy career. Millions of dollars have been raised to continue the work he embarked upon. He was given prestigious awards, and will certainly never be forgotten by his patients, and their families.
In one of the final interviews he gave, he prophetically said, “Life is not certain for any of these people.” After a brief pause, he said to the interviewer, with a serious and thoughtful expression on his face, “And it is not certain for you and I either”.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Many countries do have laws surrounding hallmarking of sterling silver. For instance, in the UK a law was passed in 1973 making it illegal to call items sterling silver unless they are hallmarked. In some countries, the hallmarking is overseen by a national assayer’s office.
The UK and Ireland have among the most sophisticated and long term systems surrounding the silver hallmarking. In addition to the silver purity, there is often a symbol as well.
France has also been legally hallmarking silver since the 1800’s, and have a grading system to identify the standards such as 950, 925, and 800 silver. They also use symbols, the head of Mercury, and the shape of a lozenge, which is a diamond shape, but can also be a thin rhombus shape.
In the US the assay marks were not fixed like they were in Europe. Baltimore was one of the first to implement hallmarks in the early to mid 1800’s. In the absence of specific regulations surrounding hallmarking, several companies like Tiffany & Co., Gorham, and International Silver Co., adopted their own systems of marking and symbols.
Canada does not have any mandatory laws to hallmark silver and gold. However most jewelry makers will stamp their products with the purity of the metal, as well as with maker’s initials, in order to confirm their value. There are many exceptional pieces of Aboriginal carved artisan jewelry, in silver and gold, that is made without hallmarks.
Birks is one of Canada’s earliest known companies to hallmark sterling silver starting in 1879. Some of the earlier items are marked H.B & Co. Later the mark became Birks, or a B logo, and sometimes had a lion symbol as well. Some of the items are simply marked Birks Sterling.
In the late 1800’s and early 1900’s Hungary adopted a complex system of marking both gold and silver. They used the symbol of a crescent moon crowned by the head of the ancient Greek heroine Diana. In addition, the way the head was framed indicates the purity.
Japan adopted a symbol of the Japanese flag as a silver hallmark in 1929.
The hallmarking of Mexican sterling silver is also very complex, and dates back to 1946 when the Eagle system was used, but proved to be inefficient. By 1979 they developed a letter-number hallmarking system.
China also stamped their sterling silver for export, often with symbols similar to the European symbols. In the more modern jewelry, you will often see 925 China on the items.
India does not have mandatory laws surrounding silver hallmarks. However people can make a request to have it stamped, in which case it is taken to the assayer’s office for testing. If it meets the regulatory standards, it will then be stamped.
Pieces from Thailand will often be marked 925 Thai.
All 925 silver should be of the same quality, at least one would think so, because the purity has been established. However, different alloys are used, which can change the sheen, durability, tarnishing etc.
In spite of all the more recent developments in hallmarking, the actual stamping and marking of precious metals began as early as 1300 A.D when Edward 1 King of England proclaimed that all silver must be tested, and stamped.
During Biblical times sterling silver was represented by sheaves of wheat symbols. A shekel of silver was a coin weighing about a half an ounce. It is estimated the value would have been equivalent to two or three days labour. Silver was used the same as money, and often land was purchased with silver.
The topic of silver hallmarking, and all the various symbols is vast, with Encyclopedias of silver marks from many locations throughout the world.
My thoughts on the topic, are to stick to what is hallmarked. However, as with all things, there are a few cases where the item is sterling silver but is not marked. In the case of pendant necklaces, sometimes just the original chain is marked, and if the two get separated, the pendant might not have a hallmark.
The separation of jewelry pieces in a set can lead to unsigned pieces. This can also happen with vintage costume jewelry, because sometimes only one or two of the items in a set are signed.
The same thing can occur with earrings. Sometimes only one earring is hallmarked, therefore some of the single earrings floating around, are sterling silver, but are not stamped.
Occasionally the sterling silver mark or maker’s mark is placed on a hang tag, that later becomes lost, or is removed.
Sterling silver and gold can be tested using a slate pad, and nitric acid. The drawbacks are that the chemicals are very toxic, and must be used with great care. In addition, at the end of the day, the buyer only has the seller’s word for it anyway.
Therefore, sterling silver that is not hallmarked is likely to be sold at a lesser value, simply because whoever makes the purchase has the same problem of authenticating it, if they try to resell it.
Over time, if the price of silver happens to increase in value, there will be a melt value for all that tests positive, similar to what it is for gold today.
But for now, most of the silver value is in the workmanship, artistry, and gemstones used by the various silversmiths over the years.
Like all things that are vintage and antique, the artistry of the silversmiths from throughout the world, is of cultural and historical importance. Therefore to see all that labour, artistry, and archival representation of their creations, go into a melting pot, would be kind of sad.
As far as dating jewelry is concerned, there is some good information on the Internet to help with this, and also some information that is false or mistaken.
Recently I read that the roll over clasp on pins was not used before the 1960’s, which I know is is not true. There are certain rollover clasp styles that were used on pins, and brooches since the late 1920’s and 1930’s.
Over time, many people have had the attitude to toss what is old, and go for what is new, and presumed to be improved. However, creativity is not new.
Plus the cost of labour, and materials, has increased exponentially in all countries over the years. Therefore, the new is not made with the same standards, time, attention to detail, etc. because anything that is labour intensive, will cost much more.
In addition, all products must go through several layers of mark-ups before reaching the consumer. There are price increases from the manufacturing and materials, to the distribution and marketing.
All the steps incurred to get the product in front of the consumer, or public, requires time and money. Therefore each of those steps increases the cost of the goods.
If we are honest with ourselves, few things are truly original. Almost all designs have been made in some capacity or another, somewhere along the line. Innovation is a rather elusive concept. Things have to be captured and nailed down, in order to become tangible.
I believe the photography does help contribute to the knowledge base of design and hallmarks, even though it may not be perfect.
In addition, many of the designs, although trendy at some point in history, were lost or destroyed due to the various wars, disasters, breakage, and concept of getting rid of things that are old, to bring on the new.
Yet we are always traversing the richness of the landscape, from what is behind us, to what is ahead of us…So we have to learn from the past, in order to increase our appreciation for all art.
It is not just the famous, or the high falutin’ well-known artists who have created beautiful art. Art comes from all locations, and all walks of life.
Giftedness is not based on fame or self importance, but rather on dedication, and the ability to contribute time and effort to a labour of love.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Since then, as people in the stricken community mourned the losses, and prayed for the recovery of the sole survivor, who was also a local pastor, they had to wait patiently for the outcome of the police investigation.
A few days ago, Erin Patterson was arrested and charged not only with the murders of the lunch guests, but she was also charged with five counts of attempted murder. It appears the police investigation turned up more toxic acrimony, which was enough to charge her with four counts of attempted murder on the life of her ex-husband.
Some people say they dodged a bullet, when they realize how close they came to death. But how many can say they dodged a death cap mushroom, designed as the darkest night cap, to put you to sleep for good? Yet her husband, and pastor Ian Wilkinson did miraculously survive being intentionally poisoned with one of the deadliest poisons on this earth.
One cannot even imagine how her ex-husband must feel now. His worst suspicions have been confirmed. I hope he does not suffer from survivor’s guilt. Both he and Ian Wilkinson have testimonies that are key to bringing justice for their loved ones, as well as for themselves.
A person who would do such a thing, would likely have carried on poisoning anyone who crossed her, and made her angry. The glimpses of media footage show her, looking irate and exasperated, as she tried to escape prying questions. In some of those snapshots, if looks could kill, they too would have “died by her sword”, which incidentally was just one of the bizarre death scribbles written on her kitchen wall, along with pictures of tombstones.
Her concern was clearly for herself, not the victims. Her anger toward the media was palpable, but not the least bit palatable. It’s hard to imagine how she expected people to react to such unexpected and shocking deaths.
Death by poisoning is a horrible way to die. Most of us have experienced a bout of food poisoning, or an extreme case of gastroenteritis in our lifetimes. If you multiply that a hundredfold, it might give an inkling of the agony brought about by a poison so toxic, it eventually shuts down every organ.
First there is the gastric upset and abdominal pain, then an overwhelming takeover of every organ, as the body and nervous system goes into a may day, as it attempts to cope. Every minute is agony, and it goes on for days, not just an hour or two. It is almost inconceivable to think anyone would put another human being through such systemic torture, let alone do it to family members, and church family.
It has already been reported, and confirmed by family members, and members of the community, that Erin Patterson was an experienced mushroom forager, with extensive knowledge about the different varieties. Therefore she knew full well how dangerous death cap mushrooms are.
As I noted in the previous post about the poisonings, if she would have admitted to having picked them herself, she would have had a weak, but plausible defence, and might have been able to argue that she accidentally picked the deadly death caps.
However from there, she would have to answer what the next steps were. Food dehydrator – So explain why you did not catch the mistake at that point? Ummm err. And after that, how did you still mistakenly use them to cook a meal that takes a fair bit of time to prepare? What could she say? Ummm I guess I went blind somewhere along the line, but was very careful to protect myself and my children, in spite of it. Doesn’t that mean I must be a good person, who would never dream of harming my in-laws? Denial only serves to harden a person’s heart to the truth.
So rather than go down the mushroom rabbit hole in the woods, it was just easier to say she bought them at an Asian grocery store. If you cannot be woodsy, go urban. It is much handier to blame it on the obscure Asian grocery store, pretending the package was not written in English, and the store was so vague and blurry, she could not remember where it was (see idioms for idiot below).
Job done. Now go away, and do not ask anymore questions, or I will cry, wail, and protest vehemently.
But when she locked herself into the claim she bought them from an Asian grocery store, she sealed her own fate, probably beyond a reasonable doubt. To top it off, she scurried off to get rid of the food dehydrator, and then lied about it to police.
The recycling plant had CTV cameras, so she was caught on tape when she did that. If I recall correctly, even once she did admit to lying about it to police, she still tried to falsify the timing of when she disposed of it. So the video recording of her at the recycling plant, where they later retrieved the food dehydrator, was likely a key part of the evidence leading to her arrest.
It really is amazing this day and age, with all the cameras, and sophisticated forensics, how anyone could possibly think they will get away with murder. This woman was the epitome of every thick as a brick, and other idiom describing a lack of intelligence, in the English language.
She owns them all. Here are a few examples, so you can pick your own description of her dumb, double-crossing potion brewing. It may sound mean, but it is nowhere near as mean as what she did. Hopefully anyone who even dreams up such a thing, will be deterred by the brazen combination of stupidity, and cruelty she has demonstrated. Like most murders, it was flat out senseless.
doesn’t have both oars in the water
two sandwiches shy of a picnic
a brick short of a load
a pickle short of a barrel
has delusions of adequacy
has a leak in her think tank ( I like that one)
not the sharpest tool in the shed, (or pencil in the drawer)
her belt doesn’t go through all the loops
her cheese has slipped of the cracker
mind like a rubber bear trap
out of her depth in a mud puddle
one prop short of a plane
so dense, light bends around her
fell out of the family tree
a few peas short of a casserole
has bats in her belfry
cobwebs in her attic
forgot to pay the brain bill
Now it’s got me thinking about inventing some new ones, and I bet the whole saga will cause some seriously stupid mushroom jokes. Like the brainy one I just thought of – What happens if you have fungi in the grey matter? You split the mold.
Drawing attention to some of the dumb attributes of criminal acts is not intended to make fun of people who are less intelligent, or have learning disabilities etc. There are many different kinds of intelligence. A person without guile, sneakiness, or devious scheming, is much wiser than those who think they can get away with lawless behaviours.
My intention is to draw attention to how dumb it is to think you can get away with murder.
In our own cognitive bias, none of us are as smart as we think we are. We all do foolish things, and make stupid mistakes. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by some of the stupid things I have done, and do have genuine remorse.
What I am referring to about her lack of cognitive function, is based on how she portrayed herself in the media, lied about where she got the mushrooms, the food dehydrator etc. She seemed to think that crocodile tears and professing her innocence was all it was going to take to explain away the deaths of three people, and the near death of a fourth. If her ex had been there, as she had planned, there potentially would have been five dead.
The investigation is ongoing, and will likely take many more months to unravel. Her arrest marks the first victory for the victims. Apparently she continues to deny it, but that is very common among murderers. A high percentage of them will deny what they did, in spite of incontrovertible proof.
Another sickly twist in the case – the night before her arrest she threw a party, inviting a group of trusted friends and supporters. Some speculate she knew she was going to be arrested, and this was a final fling. Others say she had no idea it would be her last party, or her last night in her five bedroom comfortable home. She was arrested at 8 am the following morning.
The most eerie thing about a murderer throwing a gala celebration, as a final stance of defiance, is that she still has people who trust her.
I wonder if she served them mushroom appetizers? And if any of them slipped off the cracker.
If she went on a dating site, would she have titles like – Futuristic Fungicide seeking Metazoa. Or Deadly Amanita desires a dark place to grow old. Or Death angel covets corpse caps.
She was arrested on November 2nd, just a couple days after Halloween. Back in August she angrily railed against the media for portraying her as a wicked witch, who poisoned her lunch guests on purpose.
Guess what? They were right, and if she would have been arrested a couple of days earlier, she might have been wearing a pointed black hat, stirring her malevolent cauldron, and chanting curses upon her enemies, as neighbourhood children were innocently trick or treating. I bet they were reluctant to knock on that door.
The thing about crimes like this one, we cannot help but wonder why a person who has a comfortable life, would not only destroy others, but also herself? This was a plot, meticulously planned and cooked up. It was not done on impulse. It was not done in a deranged state of psychosis. It was carefully concocted.
In the previous post I described it as being like an Agatha Christie novel. But now I am leaning more toward it being like a Stephen King novel. Agatha Christie novels are too light hearted for such a horrifying type of cold-hearted vindictive revenge on people who trusted her.
It seems the whole thing might have been related to malice toward her ex-husband, but only she knows the real reasons, and who knows if she will ever admit what they are.
She might have still been drawing tombstones on her kitchen walls with RIP motifs. Either way, life as she knew it, in a cushy and roomy five bedroom home, just shrank into the size of a walk in closet.
I don’t know if they allow inmates who have been charged with murder, and attempted murder, to draw tombstones, and write “death by my sword” on the walls of their cells. I kind of doubt it.
I know it has not been proven that she was the one who wrote those macabre things on her walls, but they certainly did reflect her motives. Plus even if they were the drawings of her children, as she claimed, why would she leave them there? And why would children draw tombstones and write RIP Grandma on the wall? Surely they were not planning to harm a beloved grandmother, nor could they have known such harm was about to befall her.
For most people, if someone drew such morbid drawings and words on the wall, they would immediately scrub it off, or paint over it. But she did not bother to do so, and even left it there when she moved. A painter was alarmed enough to pull out his phone and take pictures of it before painting over it. At the time, he had no idea he was capturing what could be a projection of a serious crime. I hope they do determine who did the doodling, because in a sense, it too, is evidence of intent.
The community must be buzzing with gratitude over the recent announcements. After all, if she was capable of three counts of murder, and five counts of attempted murder, they truly did have a witch in their midst.
Hopefully they can continue to support each other through the grief, and continue to heal. The pastor who survived the ordeal is still not well enough to resume preaching. He has been the only one who has been able to shed some light on what truly happened during that fatal luncheon.
The pastor’s survival and testimony, is in itself, a miracle from God. People have died from ingesting a single mushroom. In his case, he was sixty-eight years old at the time of the poisoning, and who knows what other conditions he may have had. What a terrible ordeal he has had to face. Without a doubt, his faith has helped him to survive.
We can only surmise the rippling effects such a case would have on the family, the congregation, the community, and the world at large. Why anyone would do such a thing defies understanding.
Now she has a lot of years ahead of her to take stock, and hopefully to finally admit, and show remorse for her astronomical crimes. Of course she is presumed innocent as far as the law is concerned, until there is a trial.
But regardless of the legalities she faces, she still must reconcile the events that took place in her own heart, and mind somehow. There is a fate awaiting her one way or another.
Personally I believe the most important thing for all of us to do, is to sincerely repent of our wrongdoing, and seek the forgiveness of Christ. Whatever justice is meted out according to the laws, is not as important as repentance, forgiveness, and salvation before God. So no matter what the crime is, our own attitude should extend mercy and hope for all people, just as there has been mercy and hope for us.
I don’t really know how a basket can be weaved onto cloth, yet I do have an example to show you. Whoever made this small table cloth was an accomplished artist with a needle and thread.
In addition to hand crocheting the trim, and then hand stitching it around the edges, she also managed to create a basket of flowers as the centrepiece, with a realistic three dimensional looking basket weave.
The colour of the trim frames the image, perfectly matching the colour of the flowers, in the midst of the white space. It is a basket of flowers and leaves with texture, colour, symmetry and balance.
The stitching does show on the reverse for part of the featured basket with flowers, but it does not show the same as most embroidery and needlework does. Therefore, it leads me to believe she managed to create the weave of the basket on the surface of the cloth somehow.
If you examine the reverse side, you will see what I mean. From the front, it really does look like a basket weave, which is the first time I have ever seen this particular type of textile art.
It goes to show, some people are talented when they pick up a paint brush, and dip it into a dynamic range of colour choices, then work on it fastidiously. They watch their very own creation take on the form and shape of the image they hold in their mind’s eye.
The same can be said for pottery, sculptures, and wood working. Creativity is born of visualization, and is sown into an expansive construct.
Others manage to make cloth their canvas, and can create amazing art, using a needle and thread.
The rest of us get to marvel at, and enjoy their wonderful creations. We can’t say how – but we do say wow!
Recently the mainstream media, in particular CBC, has exposed some high profile people who have made false claims to be adopted, and Indigenous.
The most recent one is Buffy Sainte-Marie, who made false claims to be Cree, from Saskatchewan. Her story was that she had been “scooped” from her traditional First Nation’s home in Canada, and adopted by an American family in Massachusetts. She claimed the adoption records were lost or destroyed by fire. But once her story is delved into, it is clear she made multiple false claims that should have raised red flags at the onset.
Adoption records in Saskatchewan were not destroyed as she claimed. In fact all records of adoption, foster care, births, deaths, marriages etc. are kept on file indefinitely. The notion that one can falsify or bury such records goes to show how brazen they are, and how little respect they have for the importance of records, and the legalities that surround them.
In addition to the CBC articles, the Fifth Estate also did an in-depth piece of investigative journalism on the topic, which proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was born in 1941 to a Caucasian family in the US. She was the middle child of three children born to Winnifred and Albert Santamaria. The family changed their name to Sainte-Marie because they believed there was anti-Italian attitudes in the US at the time.
There are all kinds of records to prove the truth of her birth, heritage and upbringing. She has a birth certificate to show who she really is. There are family videos, school records, and various other bits of validation.
In my opinion, one of the main confirmations of her identity, is her own marriage certificate from 1982. She signed the marriage certificate ten years after she embarked on her false Indigenous claims. When she signed the marriage certificate, she also had to acknowledge her birth record and nationality. So clearly she knew who she was, and where she came from. She was not mentally ill or suffering from a psychotic break, or delusional disorder.
The surname Santamaria has its origins in the Latin Arch in Europe. It was not until she was in her twenties that Buffy Sainte-Marie began to claim she was of Indigenous heritage. She went on Sesame Street to make the claims to wide-eyed naive young children. She would dress up in feathered head-bands, and various Indigenous costumes, and soon became a voice for the Indigenous people. In reality, she became an iconic fraud.
Her false claims created a platform for the launching of her career and wealth. Her family was hurt and baffled by her claims, because essentially she was rejecting her own heritage, roots, and upbringing, in favour of a fabricated one. Initially she claimed to be Algonquin, then Mi’kmaq, and finally landed on the Saskatchewan Cree origin, claiming the adoption records had been lost or destroyed.
When her family tried to set the record straight, she hired high powered lawyers to send them threatening letters. They fear retaliation to this day because she does have money, fame, power and influence compared to them. Understandably, they do not want to lose their homes, or be hounded and threatened by high priced aggressive lawyers.
In addition to causing a great deal of strife in her own family, it makes a mockery of the Indigenous heritage as well. She exploited the image, and made the claims for her own personal gain, when she had no real clue about the hardships they faced, or the culture they were born into. In fact, she had no clue what it is to be a Canadian.
On top of appropriating the voice of the Indigenous people, this type of deception undermines the importance of family of origin, of roots, genetics, heritage, culture, developmental psychology, and the systems we are expected to respect and uphold.
People like Buffy Sainte-Marie and Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, who was a Canadian judge, who also advanced her career on false premises of being Indigenous, received multiple awards, and honorary doctorates from different Universities. Both these women also got the prestigious status of being in the Order of Canada, all under false pretences. It only serves to strip such a designation of all credibility. The Order of Canada has become so disordered, it is considered to be a joke.
In the case of Mary-Ellen Turpel Lafond, one by one, her many honorary doctorates were revoked from multiple Universities. In spite of it all, both the judge and the iconic singer, continue to claim Indigenous heritage. In my opinion, Universities should drop the practice of handing out fake honorary doctorates period. They clearly have no meaning, because they are not earned.
Let ALL people, regardless of nationality or heritage, earn their degrees. There is no merit in obtaining such watered down hand-outs as honorary doctorates. They are meaningless, and take away from those who put the time, money, and effort into getting advanced degrees.
Furthermore, it makes the Universities culpable in promoting fraudulent claims of Indigenous heritage, because surely, they must have the resources, and wherewithal to vet those honorary doctorates. Yet clearly, they don’t even bother to do so.
Anyone who dons a feathered head band, or wears a button blanket for a photo-op can miraculously become an icon of success in the Indigenous playbook. How do those incessant lies contribute to truth and reconciliation? How does a judge and former politician for children and families, who makes false Indigenous adoption claims, serve the same communities she is defrauding?
She claimed to have direct experience with being in foster care, with drug and alcohol abuse, and domestic violence. None of it was true. The dishonest judge, who doctored her resume, and history with so many falsehoods, grew up in a privileged upper middle class family. All her so called childhood adversity, was contrived and fabricated.
If anything, this proves that making fraudulent adoption claims has long term and far-reaching effects. It undermines the foundational values of family, culture, the educational system, and the fact no one was doing any fact checking or screening for decades before this problem was exposed.
All false adoption claims, to include those who make claims of adopting someone – should be a red flag and investigated for fraud. The only reason anyone makes false adoption claims is to exploit or take advantage of a situation or person.
If such claims are allowed to go on for years, they soon become general beliefs, which are much more difficult to undo in order to set the record straight. Lies, if repeated often enough, become part of the fabric of a pseudo-existence.
If someone gets an advantage and promotion as a result of those lies, you can be sure there will be an equally destructive disadvantage that falls upon someone else, as a result of that unscrupulous gain.
False adoption claims should be immediately questioned, investigated, and treated as fraud, with legal and career consequences to deter such nonsense. In the case where someone has more money, power, influence, and the ability to oppress the truth, or threaten those who expose it, they should have to face more serious consequences.
No one should be able to bully a person into silencing the truth of who they are, and where they came from. Families are a unit, even if they become broken, and full of strife. If one member of the family, or part of the family, is stepped on or mistreated, it adversely affects the whole family, often for many generations.
No one has the right to “get rid of” a family member they reject or despise, no matter how much power and money they have, or how lowly they judge the reject to be. False adoption claims are a devious, unlawful, self-serving, one way street.
Foundational lies can only be one way for awhile, before the truth comes out, and the harm they caused comes to light. The only way the “my way, or the highway” concept flies – is when the wheels come off, and it flies straight back into the naked face of the fraudster. There is egg all over that face. The longer it went on, the more rotten the stench.
Only the birth parent can give a child up for adoption. There are legal guidelines, as well as long established systems and records to be filed. All countries have child protection services in place, to make sure there is no coercion, deception, exploitation, sale or trade of a child, or any other illegal reasons for adoptions.
The legal structures are also in place to prevent people from finding loopholes, and to deter those who are inclined to make fraudulent claims of an adoption, when there was no adoption. No one should ever be allowed to steal a child. Clearly the systems meant to protect children, are fallible regardless.
There have been cases of abductions, where the perpetrator claims to have adopted the child. In all cases of fraudulent adoptions, children are at the most risk. Exploitation is at the core. False adoptions disregard every single system that is in place to protect children and families.
It is charlatans, cults and criminals who make false adoption claims for their own personal gain. For anyone who calls themself a Christian, they would know that lying is not okay. They would know that oppression, bullying, and silencing the truth is not okay.
If they read the Bible, they would know, there are numerous books of the Bible that give detailed accounts of genealogy, naming who begat who – one by one. No one gets to steal the identity of another person, tribe, or lineage. Every single one of us is accounted for, and has a place in our own family lineage. Anyone who tries to add to, insert themselves, or excise another person from their origins – is actually trying to tear them out by the roots.
It violates numerous Commandments. The fifth commandment is to “honor your father and mother”. The eighth commandment is “thou shalt not steal”. The ninth commandment is “thou shalt not give false witness” The tenth commandment is “thou shalt not covet”.
Therefore Christians who support false adoption claims are cultish, and not the least bit genuine. And those who covet fame and exaltation using false adoption claims, and false heritage claims are fraudsters, who undermine all of the systems.
The Universities, the Order of Canada, the foster care system, the educational system, the judicial system, the family systems, the awards and grants systems, and all of our culture and heritage – is undermined and robbed when fraud is allowed to flourish.
How to prevent it? First of all, the investigations should be done up front, not fifty years later. Fraudulent adoption claims should be treated as a crime, especially if those claims caused direct harm, or were the result of force, and an abuse of power.
In my own life history, the course of my life, career, and family life, was derailed by a high school teacher who made repeated and consistent false claims to have “legally adopted me”. It was a blatant lie, but he repeated it over and over, and would not back down or take no for an answer.
The only thing that would have stopped him, was if he would have been investigated, and arrested. His conduct should have raised red flags with multiple authorities. I told him to leave me alone many times when I was a student in school. I told him I don’t care what he thinks or wants to believe. I said no, to all his efforts to make me his “daughter”. I thought it was sick and warped to the core. But he would not listen to me. In his eyes I was nothing, and he was everything.
When a person persists in the false claims, once there is irrefutable proof brought forward to contradict their claims, they are still not facing consequences. They should face criminal consequences after a full psychiatric evaluation is done.
The old adage, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is important when it comes to stealing identity. In the cases of Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, and Buffy Sainte-Marie, it did not take much to uncover the truth. The truth should have been uncovered long ago. It would have saved them the walk of shame at the end of their careers. Fantasy is not reality. If they want to create fiction, they have to acknowledge it as such.
Another key aspect of prevention, in my opinion, would be to stop the practice of “informal adoptions” in the Indigenous communities. During the time I lived on Haida Gwaii, many Caucasian people were offered informal adoptions as adults, into the Haida community. I was offered it as well, but declined.
The white people on Haida Gwaii who were part of the informal adoptions, did so as a reciprocal gesture of respect, not as an actual adoption. No one in their right mind would use that as a platform to make the claim they were of Haida ancestry.
However, I can see where the practice of informal adoptions in the Indigenous communities has led to unscrupulous claims. People need to realize adoption is a legal and binding process that is recorded with the Department of Vital Statistics the same as births, marriages, divorces, and deaths are recorded for all time.
Formal adoptions are not to be taken lightly. You can get a divorce much easier than you can get out of a legal adoption. It ties you to each others assets, and all legal decisions for the rest of your life.
I recall watching a show where an elderly widow tried to help a street girl who was a prostitute or stripper. She gave her a place to live, and then got talked into adopting her, which she did. Before long, she realized the woman was lying to her, and stealing from her. She tried to terminate the adoption, and became embroiled in a legal battle. After she died, the woman sued for a percentage of her estate, even though they had only known each other a couple of years.
The teacher who tried so hard to adopt me when I was never up for adoption, was simply told that he had to wait until I was eighteen, and that I had to consent to an adoption. He was told that any attempts to force an adoption would not go “unchallenged”. Now my question is, and always has been – why was this man not challenged?
When I turned eighteen, he had all the paperwork done, and then backed me into a corner, ordering me with all his teacher, religious, and tough guy authority – to sign those papers, RIGHT NOW!
I was very intimidated, and confused at the time, but I knew he was demanding that I sign a legal document, and he could not force my signature. I was not consenting. So I meekly, but adamantly refused to sign the papers.
Even after that happened, he falsely claimed the legal adoption had taken place. For many years I believed he had forged my signature, and submitted the papers.
He colluded with others, so I was constantly ganged up on. He claimed “intervention was required” when truthfully, I had accelerated through school, and consistently passed with honors. He was so aggressive and convincing with the lying, for most of my life I thought I was the “bad girl”. I did not realize how much he had brainwashed me until much later.
It took quite awhile before it dawned on me – so what if I actually WAS a terrible, degenerate bad girl? He still had no right to do what he did. It was not up to him to judge me, and our mother, as being “non-redeemable” lost souls. He seemed to think he was some kind of deity.
He forced me into a nursing program, when I had no inclination to be a nurse. I wanted to go to University and get a baseline degree, so I could become an academic.
Since I was very young at the time, and due to his abuse of power, I had no choice. So I took nursing, because I knew a post-secondary education was critical, in order to escape a pattern of familial violence. If not for him, I would have been able to accept an English scholarship at the University of Calgary. When the professor of the English program realized I was under the thumb of a high school teacher, he was outraged.
I wrote the RN exams when I was nineteen years old. During the time I was enrolled in the nursing program, the teacher was nowhere near me. I did excel and get high marks, as I had done throughout school, but my marks had nothing to do with the teacher. However, from then on, he took credit for what I was. It gave him an even greater inclination to define, take ownership, and inflict a constant debt bondage, and lifelong involuntary gratitude.
It was not up to him, to create a lying adoption con, to cover his obsession with a teenage girl. To cover his stalking, and the fact he forced me into his car on numerous occasions, and forcibly confined me for hours on end.
To an extent, the teacher adoption plot was an extension of family violence in my own family. It was also a scheme to prevent me from choosing my own career path, in order to “keep me in line”. It was a strategy, and a trap designed to monitor and control me for life. I was supposed to be under the rule of the authoritarian schoolmaster forever.
In later years the teacher pretended to be a mellow absent minded professor, and nice Christian guy. He never stopped his compulsive lying. All he did was trade his macho, overt bullying to more covert manipulations and control.
One thing I really want to make clear. The teacher was a teacher. That’s it, that’s all. He was NOT a part of my family, and I was NOT a part of his family. No amount of punishment, lying, gaslighting or coercion is going to change that fact. The adoption con was a ruse to cover for his lawless conduct.
No young girl should ever have to be forced to quit school, change schools, or run away – just to get free of a teacher who is relentlessly harassing them. No teacher should ever get away with such conduct. If it takes fifty years to come to light, they should still be held accountable.
When under the dark cloud of someone who is stalking your soul, and abusing power to such an extent, it takes a very long time to garner the courage to go to the authorities. The backlash and punishment for reporting it to the police, was always foremost in my mind.
The adoption was a lying excuse to take control of me. He had to make up some kind of excuse for acting the way he did, when I was never under his jurisdiction. I hardly knew the guy. He came to our school as a brand new teacher when I was in junior high school. He was in his twenties when he first started making the adoption claims, citing God as his authority. Yup – God told him to adopt me.
I was aghast when he said God told him to adopt me. First, I sarcastically asked him if God talks to him out of the sky, or the walls or what? Then when I could not deter him, I said, “Well since it is my life, why wouldn’t God tell me too?”
But how could I know at the time, there was no reasoning with this man? He was still lying about it thirty, and forty years later. One would think he is completely delusional and psychotic, but I know for a fact that he knows it is all a pack of lies.
It was all about power, domination and control. He has his own family, and he knows very well who they are. So it was a clearly a brazen con, and he should have faced con-sequences.
In fact his own son got advanced degrees, and ended up teaching in a junior girl’s college in New York. The young girls who attended the college would have been between seventeen and nineteen years old on average. A few years after he started teaching there, he sent me an email telling me he was “in love” with one of his students.
At this time, he was divorced and in his mid-forties. He then went on to say he did not know “if she was going to love me back”. Those were his words. He wrote in the email that he had been “following her home on the subway, and knew where she lived”. Clearly, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Once again, intergenerational patterns arise from dysfunctional dynamics. I can only imagine how creeped out, and scared the poor girl must have been, because it sounded like he followed her several times.
One day the teacher (and his son) will face consequences for their actions. No one gets to abuse power, or speak for God in a lying manner, without facing God’s judgement. The teacher, who was touted as the “wonderful Christian” should have taken the time to actually read the Bible.
If I was really that bad, he would not have been so desperate to take ownership of me, before I could get away. People usually do not want to own bad things, they want to own objects they think are worth something to them. To put it simply, I was targeted, and objectified by a predatory teacher. He was involved in a devious scheme, with scapegoating, and collusion, as part of the plot.
Every single time I tried to refute the adoption claim, I got threatened with expulsion from my own family, and accused of being mentally ill, and emotionally disturbed. The teacher was the king of gaslighting. He acted as though he had the power to have me declared insane. Since he was in collusion with a member of my own family, this accusation was a grave concern, even though gaslighting is illegal.
Countless people over the years have been thrown into psych units, or drugged into oblivion, just based on false accusations. In addition, when someone makes those accusations, in order not to be in denial, any sensible person is forced to do some soul searching. When those with power are victimizing you, it is easy to take on those false accusations as part of the victim role.
I now know much more about gaslighting, as part of the repertoire of deviant schemes. I also know that all of us are presumed sane, until it is proven otherwise. No one can be forced into a psychiatric evaluation without legitimate reasons, and a court order. Gaslighting is a form of psychological torture. It is very painful, dehumanizing, and makes us unable to trust our own perception of reality.
Under the Criminal Code of Canada, section 269.1 torture is defined as:
torture means any act or omission by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person
(a) for a purpose including
(i) obtaining from the person or from a third person information or a statement,
(ii) punishing the person for an act that the person or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, and
(iii) intimidating or coercing the person or a third person, or
(b) for any reason based on discrimination of any kind,
Children and students in a public school do not routinely get forced into a pseudo-adoption by a tough guy bullying teacher, as a form punishment. If a kid truly is bad, they get suspended, or referred for an assessment. They don’t get miraculously adopted by a twenty-eight year old teacher who has the hots for them. I well remember how practically every kid in the school was afraid of him. I wonder if he is proud of himself for such a legacy?
Part of his desire to dominate, take control of, and punish me, was because I was able to excel academically. He was so chauvinistic, and such a cultish religious zealot – no sassy young female was going to deny him what he wanted, even if it meant he was defying all the laws of reality, ethics, and teacher conduct. He wanted to take all the credit for my academic ability, when he had absolutely nothing to do with it. He viewed me as a lucrative fund-raising mascot for his cult religion.
I was planning to go to University once I graduated, and had a scholarship offer. I did not ask for, or want his interference in my life. As a teacher, I did not like him at all. He stared to the point of making your blood run cold, and was full of macho arrogance.
I was pretty confident I could complete two years of University by the time I turned eighteen. So how was it that I was so bad, I needed “adoption” intervention? Since when is a pseudo-adoption an intervention? For any reason? It was so bogus, it still defies logic, and it still plagues me.
Without a doubt, it was the most abusive, and toxic relationship of my entire lifetime. To this day, I am not free of all it entails. Therefore, when I speak or write about the harm done by false adoption claims, I do know what I am talking about.
Now there are frequent newspaper reports in MSM about teacher misconduct. But years ago when I was a student in a small farming community in central Alberta, teachers could pretty much do what they wanted.
Most of them were professional and decent, but a couple of them were not. The teacher who targeted me, forcibly confined me in his house late at night for hours on end. During those bleak hours of repeated brainwashing, he told me the following things over and over. Most of these same mantras were repeated again, and again in the following years.
He said God told him to adopt me. He told me over and over that I was his daughter, as if it was a statement of fact. He told me he loved me, and the love was unconditional. He said I would never get away, because he would hunt me down. He told me I had the exact same IQ as his wife. He repeatedly told me my mother was wicked, evil and non-redeemable. That was his main theme, and also the one that made me feel most uncomfortable. After all, our mother is our mother, and most of us love our mother.
He also told me it was very hurtful for him, and his wife if I even thought of that wicked woman as being my mother. For crying out loud – she was my mother! Why should anyone be shamed, and punished, for thinking their mother is their mother? Why on earth was I subjected to his insanity?
He repeatedly told me how special I was, and that I was his precious gift from God. How was I supposed to reconcile the dichotomy between being a bad girl, and terrible degenerate – in sharp contrast with being a shiny object, and special gift from God?
He told me hundreds of times that he was proud of me. He was so puffed up and proud of himself. It was another one of his lies that made me cringe, and also made me angry.
He was proud of himself. I had nothing to do with his excessive false pride. He told me he liked to believe he had me since I was a little girl, around six years old. Is that weird or what? He “liked” to believe a lot of things.
He had it firmly established with all the lies, he was my saviour, not God but him, the almighty teacher. The only thing that could possibly make me redeemable, and acceptable in the eyes of God, and all those around me, was to be the “daughter” of the cultish power abusing teacher.
Every single time I refused his claim of adoption, I was shamed and denigrated for being cruel, hurtful, and in defiance of authority. When I asked him how it was possible for him to have given birth to me when he was eleven years old, he reverted back to his God theory.
He made it very clear I was going to be attached to him for the rest of my life. There was no escaping him. He then had the gall in later years, to tell people I had given him grey hairs when I was a teenager. He really played the fictional role of being the daddy-god. He was more like the godfather gang banger, in the midst of my life and family.
After I graduated, I could not escape him as he was invited to every family function. I simply tried to be polite. If I told the truth about him, I was threatened with expulsion from my own family. He sent me hundreds of syrupy and glittery “daughter cards” plastered with out of context Bible verses. He repeatedly came to my house, and whenever he got the chance, he repeated many of the same things he said when I was a student.
My husband was killed in an accident when I was just thirty-five years old. This brought the teacher to my door step, pushing his way into my life more than ever, and it nearly destroyed me. When my husband was alive, we kept a polite arm’s length distance. My husband never left me alone in a room with him. He knew I was not comfortable with him, and he told me he did not like the way he looks (stares) at me. So during those years, before his death I had protection. Because of that, the teacher did not visit that often, and when he did, he did not have direct access to me.
I met my husband playing College basketball. He was the tallest guy on the team, and was quite cocky as he had always been a super star athlete, and MVP. When I met him, I told him about the teacher supposedly being a “wonderful Christian” yet he had chased me and forced me into his car numerous times. He would yell at me, “You will get in that car, or I will STUFF you in that car”.
Paul just looked at me for a long moment, and then said, “Not anymore, he ain’t”. So for a time, I finally had a solution to my problem, and I was so grateful for the protection. I remember thinking how Paul was able to stuff a basketball in the net, and that’s what he would do to the teacher if he ever tried to use force, or put the grab on me again.
So as it is when we are young, we think we have found a solution to solve the problem forever. If it had not been for Paul’s untimely death, I still believe we would have eventually shut the teacher out completely. The only reason we did not tell him to get lost, and slam the door in his face, was because he had infiltrated my family, and there was no real way to get rid of him. So to keep the peace in the family, we remained polite and respectful, which was a big mistake in hindsight.
All push in predators seek a way to get in the door. Once the door is open a crack, they brazenly push their way in. We should have slammed and dead-bolted that door as soon as we got married. I always felt absolutely sickened to the core, and very uncomfortable around the teacher, and that never changed once throughout the entire ordeal with him. It nearly killed me.
One of the things that really bothered me in later years, was why should any woman have to have a body guard to be protected from a teacher? Not just during school, but for a lifetime.
Why should any woman get saddled with an unwanted, putrid and disgusting relationship, when every fibre of her being rejects it? It was not just physical threats he subjected me to, but worse yet, there was a constant psychological barrage, filled with shaming, and forced acceptance of his lies, along with extreme in-depth spiritual abuse. It was devastating on many levels. In my own family, he made himself far more important than I am. He got their support, not me. It compounded the pain of it all, to the point of anguish.
The cult the teacher belongs to, is known throughout the world, for ripping families apart. The Australian PM at one point, denounced them publicly, and admitted they are well known for destroying families. Books have been written about them, and multiple people who have escaped the cult, have come forward with their stories of abuse, assaults, brainwashing, control, psychological torture, and familial rejection.
The cruelty and deception is beyond belief. Researching the backdrop of the cult helped me to understand the origins, the history, the practice of thought reform, and the relentless attack on the family unit. They see vulnerability as opportunity. Therefore, I now know that the evil inclinations behind this plot were intentional, and by design. I also know that his conduct is not my fault. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A predator was allowed to roam freely in the community, and the small public school I attended.
There are multiple witnesses, and many who still believe the lies. This is not a “he said, she said case”. It went on for many years, and is known to hundreds of people. Plus most of the kids in my graduating class witnessed him follow, and chase me down outside of school hours. I literally tried to run away from him several times.
In hindsight, I am eternally grateful that I had God’s protection, and the fortitude to refuse to sign adoption papers, because it is next to impossible to get out of a legal adoption. The very notion of being legally adopted by that cult teacher, creeps me out beyond description.
False adoption claims are life altering, and difficult to get free of because lies become entrenched, and people will firmly adhere to falsehoods, in spite of evidence to the contrary.
Many commenters in MSM staunchly believe that Buffy Sainte-Marie is of Canadian Cree ancestry, even though irrefutable proof to the contrary has been brought forward, and laid on the table.
We wonder how numerous people can develop ingrained and fixed delusions. If lies are told boldly, and frequently, especially by someone who has power, respect etc. they become part of a false belief system. Delusional simply means adhering to false beliefs, in spite of irrefutable evidence to the contrary.
Any person who will lie about something as serious as adoption, whether they are making false claims about being adopted, or lying about having adopted someone – will lie about absolutely anything.
They are proving themselves beyond a shadow of a doubt, to be liars and con artists. They find it hurtful when they are exposed. Aw gee, isn’t that just so sad and terrible? They are used to tapping into the empathy of others, which is a big part of their scam.
People who become hurt, angry, defensive, or threatening when truth is exposed, especially when it comes to identity – are actually making truth their enemy. In fact, we are consistently warned to avoid deception, and to love, seek and embrace the truth. Yet they are foolishly doing just the opposite.
We should all pay attention, and reject falsehoods, because God warns us many times throughout the Bible. Strong delusion is sent to those who prefer lies over truth, and once that happens, the outcome is not good.
Thessalonians 2 – Verse 11-12 KJV says the following:
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Like any structural fire, sometimes the reasons are related to faulty wiring, or lightening strikes, so not every single church fire is arson.
However the surge in the number of church fires, along with the fact many of the fires have been suspicious or attributed to arson, does indicate this is an intentional pattern, not only in Canada, but in many countries throughout the world.
In Canada it is believed the upsurge in church fire arson, is due to the discovery of unmarked graves of Aboriginal children who were subjected to abuses in church run residential schools.
The first residential schools in Canada were started in 1831 and by the 1880’s the federal government was funding these schools, in conjunction with a multitude of churches. Most, but not all of the churches involved in this destructive cruelty, were of the Catholic faith. It is not to suggest any church is all bad, because they all have a mix of both good and bad.
It was the bad attitude that developed, and was cultivated in certain situations, as a result of the abuse of power. In all cases where there is supreme arrogance, and abuse of power, there will be a corresponding lack of empathy towards the downtrodden, or those who are viewed as “lesser human beings”. They are dehumanized to the degree they do not have the power of veto, or any control over their own lives.
The circumstances that developed in the residential schools, stemmed from an intent to separate the children from their identity, their families, and their culture. It was a terrible burden of shame inflicted upon them. They had no way of protecting themselves. They were overpowered, and given no avenue of escape. The kids were taught and cared for by nuns. Some of those nuns were meaner than a honey badger. Once clamped into their jaws, as a child, they were doomed, and had no choice but to obey.
On top of the cruelty inflicted by some of the nuns, numerous Catholic priests used their authority and proximity to defenceless children, to sexually molest and abuse them in the vilest ways. This happened equally to boys and girls. Worse yet, those crimes against children were covered up for many years, which re-victimized the children over and over, because they were not protected or believed.
Even though it was well known by the early 1960’s that these schools were often steeped in emotional, psychological, sexual, and spiritual abuse, they continued until the 1990’s.
As a result the damage was astronomical. Many of the survivors of such schools recount deep-rooted and irreparable damages. In addition to what they were forced to endure physically, they were also shamed for who they were.
The constant and relentless indoctrination, telling children their parents are evil, and wicked, is just as destructive psychologically and spiritually as sexual abuse. It is a molestation of the mind and spirit.
The perpetrator wants to make sure the child can never overcome what they have inflicted on them. They go after the mind and emotions, probably more than anything else. That way they can abuse without fear of reprisal.
It is one of the most disgusting, and appalling methods of trickery and cruelty toward a vulnerable child. In such cases, there are no outward signs of the deep rooted maltreatment meted out by those who abuse authority. It is a clever way to disguise their sadistic tendencies, without ever getting caught.
They get a thrill out of watching their victim squirm. They relish in the satisfaction of assailing a kid with an onslaught of psychological and emotional abuse. They have the all encompassing power and control, while their victim has none, not even the power to be who they are. They take away your right to exist.
For these reasons, it is believed the spark of outrage, has led to some raging fires. Church burning has powerful political undertones, often with hidden agendas, where clarity of motives are not the least bit transparent.
Let’s face it, there could be any number of reasons for the fires, from accidental to intentional, and even for the purpose of collecting insurance. Some, but not all are secondary to the long term mistreatment of people by certain religious authorities. Others are based on attention seeking extremist organizations, or simply vandalism.
If a church is targeted when there is no one there, such as on a stat holiday, or in the middle of the night, the vandals can be reasonably sure they are not going to cause death. However, it is an extremely reckless act, because there could be someone sleeping in a church.
In addition the fire could spread to adjacent homes and structures in the community. An act of vandalism involving arson could easily lead to murder. It just depends on which way the wind blows.
Clearly, anytime a religious authority tries to separate children, foster children, or people in general from their families, their identity, and their history, they are not really Christian, but rather soul destroying cults. They often use sophisticated, deceptive and sadistic tactics while in the process of robbing children of who they are.
A quote attributed to George Orwell defines this quite succinctly: “The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.” Some say George Orwell did not write this quote, however it is accurate and true, no matter where it came from.
In all of this combined religious and political strife, we end up with a somewhat puzzling contradiction. Arson and vandalism is a crime, and places people, and the surrounding communities in peril. Yet if it is truly revenge for years and years of mistreatment, there are some people who see it as a justifiable act.
It is almost like taking one highly symbolic construct, igniting it, then stoking it into a more fanatical extreme. The fiery revenge, billowing smoke, and the brightness of its light, is far reaching, and fills us with fear. It leaves us wallowing in the wreckage of a pile of rubble, with some serious reflection, and contemplation to be done. It is natural to wonder why there is so much destruction.
Churches are illustrative and iconic. Some of them have steeples, depicting man’s attempt to reach skyward to the heavens, and get closer to the divine. Another reason steeples were built, was so the church bells were higher than all other buildings, and thus could be heard far and wide. Other theories claim they were built to keep evil spirits out.
As far as warding off evil spirits, they did not work very well in that regard. The zealous builders of such pointed structures, probably did not increase their own divinity by building a tower into the heavens either.
For some people, churches represent the heart and soul of Christian faith. A high percentage of Christians are Sunday only Christians. They dress up, and put on a good show on a weekly basis, but do not apply it to their daily lives.
Many Christians listen to sermons, and let a preacher interpret what the Bible says, without ever reading a word of it themselves. Is it any wonder there are so many false teachers with a devout coterie of followers?
Churches are also social constructs where people gather, make friends, and create shared activities. In many cases, churches have adhered to the gospel, and showed charitable sincerity by supporting and uplifting the poor, the frail, and the downtrodden. Some churches are good, and others are not so good.
But even so, how can there be such a massive dichotomy in the symbolic representation of the church?
To help us understand what the heck is going on with the recent church burnings, it is worth looking at what is, and what has been happening throughout the rest of the world. Canada is currently experiencing this frightening trend, but we are not the only ones.
Moving to some different locations and time frames where religious arson became prevalent, it happened during the US civil rights movement in the 1960’s, often targeting black churches, in the heat of racial upheaval. This trend continued with increasing intensity into the 1990’s.
In 1996 the US Congress passed the Church Arson Prevention Act. Clinton established the National Church Arson Task Force due to the sharp increase in church arson.
In Australia church burnings followed the conviction of child sex predators within the churches. St. James church, and St. Mary’s Catholic church were intentionally burned as a result.
In Canada, there are well over eighty churches that have been burned in recent years. It has escalated since the announcement of unmarked graves at the sites of residential schools. It has also generated anti-religious political extremists who are part of the mix. Not all of the church burnings are because of residential schools. In some cases, it has been a front for those with a different agenda.
In Chile, a visit by Pope Francis in 2018, resulted in a number of church burnings. In those cases they were less discreet, and churches in Santiago were fire bombed in conjunction with the spraying of accelerants.
In India when there was religious conflict, a number of churches were burned. During the 2008 Kandhamai clashes, hundreds of churches were set on fire and burned down.
Niger also had a wave of church burnings following the Charlie Hebdo shooting in 2015, when a satirical newspaper in Paris was stormed by Islamic terrorists killing twelve people, and injuring eleven others. After this crisis forty-eight churches were burned down in Niger by Islamists.
One of the oldest and most historic churches of all was burned down in Norway in 1992. The Fantoft Stave church was built in 1150 when the Vikings converted to Christianity. The burning of the longstanding church was eventually attributed to the “black metal scene” tied to all kinds of extremist ideologies, white supremacy, Nazi ideologies, and Satan worship.
Pakistan has also had a recent surge in church arson. In 2023 at least twenty one churches were burned, which were attributed to Muslim uprisings.
In the United Kingdom between 1973 and 2008, there were a number of arson attacks on churches. Several of these were said to be the result of anti-Catholic sentiments.
The fact these fires are occurring in various countries throughout the world, for a variety of reasons, suggests this is a global issue with a strong undercurrent of revenge. There is a formidable message they are trying to convey, yet the smoke gets in our eyes. It is a prime example of an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth mentality. Whatever the origins, such a belief is not the mindset of a Christ centred person at all.
Without a doubt Christianity is at enmity with a Satanic counter force, coming from the outside, as well as the inside of the church. It carries many disguises, often as an angel of light, or a deceptive good will. Caution and discernment are needed now probably more than ever before. We are steeped in deception, and yet we have a responsibility to love and seek the truth.
Some would automatically claim the attacks are based on Christian persecution, and a growing intolerance for Christian principles and gathering places.
In some cases, this may be true. However as Christians, we do have to acknowledge that many religions who are disguising themselves as Christians, have committed countless atrocities, and human rights violations.
If you watch or follow true crime stories, you soon discover some of the most heinous crimes are committed by church goers. The BTK killer Dennis Radar was active in his church. Child killer Clifford Olsen was a church goer and recruited many of his victims by placing ads on church bulletin boards offering jobs to young people. More recently in the news, Lucy Letby was also a church goer. The list of church villains is a very long list. There are many wolves in sheep’s clothing sitting in those pews.
Nothing justifies acts of violence. The true Christian gospel is a gospel of peace. It does not rob people of their identity, lie and deceive, separate people from their families, molest children, or any of the horrible things done by not only the Catholic church, but many others as well.
We are living in a time where polarizations are common, and those who are angry, misled, or steeped in anti-Christian, anti-religion, against certain groups of people, revenge seeking, subterfuge, political extremism etc. need to examine where they are getting these beliefs from.
Our belief systems are not contained in a building. No one can wipe out or destroy any belief system by eliminating their symbolic representations or gathering places.
We cannot paint the churches as the good guys, and nor can we claim they are all bad. True Christians need to be peacemakers, and seek avenues for healing and forgiveness. This cannot be achieved through denial.
These days, it just seems like fire and brimstone is raining down upon us. We don’t know the depths or scope of the real reasons for this. If anything, we all need to examine our own hearts, and for those who are Christians, we need to know that deception, denial, harm, and pseudo-Christianity, is not truth, and is not based on the truth of the gospel.
Why is this billowing revolt against the structures of Christianity seething and searing the world? It is wrong, and is not justifiable no matter what the reasons are. But truthfully, the only place we can begin to understand this, is to examine our own conscience.
For some Christians, perhaps their own conscience would be seared with a hot iron. Like fire needs water, Christians need living water.
Living water is the metaphor used in the Bible to depict the spiritual sustenance and salvation we get through Jesus Christ. The apostasy that has developed in many churches, will bring a much greater fire upon themselves, if they don’t turn away from all the deceptive and harmful practices.
Perhaps we are being warned. Every single one of us should examine our own hearts. The Bible does tell us we can expect to be persecuted. But it does not tell us that we are supposed to be the ones doing the persecuting.
Hiding true motives behind a church pew once a week, is becoming increasingly difficult to do. Soon there will be day of reckoning, and any deception or cruelty will be sorted out. It’s no longer a matter of “us against them”, because those who are attacking the true church, and the true gospel, are sitting in those pews, and standing at those pulpits.
Ultimately we do reap what we sow.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The history of opiates, and opiate addiction goes back thousands of years. I once read that every single society throughout history with access to opiates, resulting in high levels of addiction – will use up the entire supply made available to them.
With the introduction of fentanyl, the potency of opiates has skyrocketed. We are told the fentanyl is coming from China, however if that is truly the case, one does wonder why Australia has not been afflicted as much as other countries in the world, when Australia has a much closer proximity to China.
In addition, apparently Australia just had a drug bust involving fentanyl, with enough doses to kill the entire population of Sydney. The shipment came from Canada.
I recently listened to a safe supply pitch, or harm reduction video promotion filmed in Vancouver, where a journalist was interviewing those who actively support a safe supply. Although he took an observant and neutral position on the topic, by the look on his face, I am not sure they convinced him or swayed him to their position.
The doctor who was interviewed for this video was very pro drugs, in particular pro opiates, insisting the use of opiates could be safe, normal, widespread, and not a problem at all. She made glib statements like “everyone uses drugs, and it does not have to be a problem at all.”
She came across as being kind of an opiate know-it-all, and in my opinion, she seemed more like an opiate promoting airhead. She sounded like a drug sales rep, advertising and advocating for the drug, instead of the patient.
Even though she was right in the thick of it all, she was completely out of touch with reality. Paradoxically, she talked about the need for addicts to be given massive doses, due to high tolerance levels. She said for example, if you gave 100 mg for severe pain in a hospital, these people (addicts in the scope of a safe supply) would need at least 2500 mg. in a single dose. She flippantly thought nothing of that painful and poignant fact.
The film also featured bereaved parents who lost children. In most cases, they believed their child was poisoned because they took a drug, in some cases a single pill, that was laced with fentanyl. In other cases, they did not realize the extent of the problem, until their son or daughter overdosed. Understandably some felt guilt, and others felt anger.
Some of the grieving parents are lobbying for policies around a safe supply, and others are lobbying for addiction treatment centres.
I believe the school system should be educating young kids about the addictive effects of opiates. Not about harm reduction, or safe supply, but rather the physiological and biological impact drugs cause on the various systems of the body. It should be explained to them why the tolerance for the drug becomes astronomically high, and why such a tolerance can predispose a person to a fatal overdose.
All people should be aware that addiction means the need to take more and more of the drug to get the same effect. They should also know how long it takes to become addicted, and what specific drug classes are addictive.
The focus should be on finding ways to feel good without the use of toxic mood elevating drugs. Educating kids should be about drug prevention, not drug use and safe supply. We need to find ways to stop indirect pharmaceutical promotion under the guise of “safety”.
The history of the OxyContin crisis and the Sackler brothers setting up an aggressive marketing campaign in order to promote opiates is well known, and well documented. In 2020 Purdue pharmacy pleaded guilty to criminal charges in the fraudulent OxyContin promotion.
By the time they were charged, the company had already made fourteen billion dollars, and the Sackler brothers who were behind it all, have had immunity for years. They continue to face threats of civil lawsuits, and whether they are ever held accountable or not, the entire family will be tainted by their family history for generations to come.
However the Sackler brothers are not the only culprits. The widespread use of Ritalin, and the overly zealous diagnosis of ADHD for every active kid in school, has contributed to the crystal meth drug crisis. In fact, we might even surmise they launched the crisis, just like the OxyContin crisis was launched by overprescribing opiates.
The pharmaceutical and health care industry contributed to the rampant amphetamine use by overprescribing Ritalin and Adderall. Both drugs are stimulants. Adderall contains amphetamine and dextroamphetamine. Kids as young as four years old are being prescribed Ritalin. Is it any wonder there is a drug crisis?
The pharmaceutical companies claim drugs for ADHD can regulate brain chemistry, yet we already know the whole brain chemistry theory has been soundly debunked, based on the long term outcomes surrounding SSRI antidepressants. These drugs were advanced, promoted and over prescribed based on junk science, and the false notion about depression and brain chemistry.
Healthy neurochemistry is not drug induced. It is based on diet, exercise, adequate sleep, stress management, and natural dopamine levels based on personal accomplishments, loving relationships, and overcoming challenges. There is no pill or quick fix that will navigate life for us. In fact the notion of a quick fix leads to disaster.
Even for those who are estranged from family, or come from a toxic and abusive family dynamic, there is a deeply spiritual aspect to addiction. God’s love will not forsake us. Christ said “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” In Galatians 5:1 it tells us “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery”
Addiction is a form of bondage, because it robs choices, opportunities, and health. In many cases it puts a person on death row without a trial. In the meantime, it forces the person to work towards serving the addiction, which is very costly with no positive returns. When you think of how much money has been spent on addiction, and all it demands, just to drag people down, the losses are monstrous.
The public tends to be profoundly gullible when it comes to destructive and debilitating pharmaceutical drugs. Multiple pharmaceutical companies have been charged with fraud. In 2009 Pfizer faced one of the biggest health care frauds and scandals in history. For them, it was a drop in the bucket.
If you go to Wikipedia and look up the list of pharmaceutical frauds and scandals, to include false claims, kickbacks, and off-label promotions, you will find a very long list. It barely scratches the surface of the underlying issues.
When it comes to addiction, gullible people can become unwittingly addicted, if they trust and believe doctors will only prescribe what is safe. Just look at Jordan Peterson’s widely publicized journey with benzodiazepine addiction.
Jordan Peterson believed he was taking a safe supply of a safe drug, prescribed by a qualified physician. Obviously he is an intelligent man, yet he faced astronomical obstacles trying to get free of his own addiction.
Some people claim there is no such thing as a vulnerability or a predisposition to addiction. In one sense it is true, in that many times kids from loving families become addicted, and people who are accomplished and wealthy can also become addicted.
However, I do believe some people are more vulnerable and prone to addiction than others. Although addiction has no respecter of persons in many ways, there are those who are much more susceptible or predisposed to addiction.
Childhood trauma, genetics, PTSD, chronic pain, the need for repeated surgeries, addicted parents, or intergenerational trauma, violence and abuse, childhood sexual abuse, exploitation, emotional abuse, extreme financial stress, job loss, homelessness, and complex grief reactions – all increase the likelihood of addiction.
Those who have backgrounds and personalities that are stable, nurtured, supported, and fairly stress free, are much less likely to become addicted. They can accept their own mood cycles, and are better equipped to regulate their systems, and realize when something is off.
If a person is well adjusted and happy, they do not want to escape reality, and also do not want to feel the sickness, and side effects brought about by drugs. They are also more likely to get a good diet and regular exercise. A healthy lifestyle helps people to feel at peace, experience joy, and realize that some sadness, or grouchy days, are normal and to be expected.
When I hear some of the promotions surrounding rampant drug use, and safe supply, I don’t buy it. The primary reason I don’t believe in such a thing as a safe supply for addicts, is because they need an ever increasing supply.
Therefore, it only stands to reason, there will be a constant search for more drugs. When a person is disinhibited, or under the influence, they are less likely to be vigilant when buying, seeking, or using the drugs. Chances are they will take advantage of safe drugs when they are available, and resort to street drugs in between.
Another reason I don’t believe in a safe supply, is because of the physiological effects, and side effects of almost all drugs. For this reason I would not even promote statins, or SSRI’s, or anticholinergic drugs, or any drug unless it was for palliative care, or short term usage. We have become far too drug dependent, and are easily led down the chemical trail.
Many people are led to believe they need certain drugs. It is not uncommon for seniors to have a bag full of prescription drugs, most of which they don’t even know the names of, let alone what they are for. Yet they really believe they need all those drugs, and would die without them. I think it is more likely they will die because of them.
Of course opiates have their place in the cases of severe pain, such as heart attacks, trauma, and fresh post op surgeries. They can also help keep a terminally ill patient pain free and comfortable.
The notion that widespread use of street drugs can be safe, is obviously bogus, as can easily be seen by the devastation and deaths it has caused. One only needs to walk down the streets of any town or city, to see the loss of human dignity and potential, caused by widespread drug use. The picture it paints, by what is witnessed, is hardly an opiate Nirvana. It is more like John Milton’s Paradise Lost.
When people are in their twenties, and cannot even take care of themselves, something is seriously wrong. It is not normal to spill the contents of a backpack on the ground, and then be unable to pick the items up, and put them back in the pack. It is terribly sad to see people go through such a disturbing regression, and inability to function.
The cycle, and attraction of most addictions, is based on an artificial mood elevation, and escapism. There is a temporary euphoria, and a cathartic release from all the daily struggles, and emotional pain.
If it hijacks the individual, and becomes a cycle – soon the addiction is all that matters. In between the highs, are corresponding lows, to the point there is no even-keel, or stability at all in the life of the addict.
All drugs have side effects. Not only do they wreak havoc with the dopamine neurochemistry, and intensity of mood. They also cause disturbances in gut health, diet, routines, skin integrity, liver and kidney function, and overall well-being. It robs people of their health, and their potential.
Being addicted means not feeling well, therefore I do not see how it can be viewed as compassionate, to enable or support addiction, pretending it can be healthy. It is not healthy. Since it is so unhealthy, the person cannot possibly feel good in a natural state. They do not deserve to be shamed or judged. They deserve genuine empathy, and true compassion for their overall health and well-being.
The addictive high is a chemically induced mood elevator. The temporary euphoria is short lived, and soon the striving for more drugs, is based on the avoidance of being sick. Without a doubt, overcoming a serious addiction is a major challenge.
Many people have overcome addiction, and should be encouraged to go in the direction of healing through abstinence. There is no personal freedom in addiction, therefore to be liberated and free of it, is the ideal choice.
When a person is high, they are not in control of their faculties. It increases vulnerability, and risk in all realms. From violence, to accidents, to shame, to loss of dignity, to doing things they would not otherwise do, to overdosing and dying. The risks taken while using – are astronomical.
When an addict is not high he/she is searching for the next fix, and cannot possibly feel well in that state either. All relationships are affected. The ability to enjoy the small and simple things in life begins to evaporate. Productivity reduces to the point they cannot care for themselves at all.
It does not simply boil down to a safe supply, in order to avoid the deadly fentanyl overdose, although that has increased the risk of overdose significantly. The safe supply cannot prevent the increased tolerance, and need for more and more of the drug.
A safe supply cannot prevent the side effects, loss of productivity, and all the other health related problems caused by the drugs.
The real solution is optimal wellness in a drug free state. That way the person can feel good, and can get in touch with their true emotions, and cycles of ups and downs. They can enjoy their food, and have a natural dopamine increase without the use of toxic chemicals.
Regardless of what our position is, and what we choose to do in our own lives, we would be wise to put on a pharmaceutical filter with a strong dose of cynicism.
When it comes to taking any drug, for starters, all people should know what they are taking, what class of drug it is, how it affects other systems of the body, and what it might interact with as far as other drugs, alcohol, and food is concerned. They should know why they are taking it, what the side effects are, how long they will need to take it, if it is really necessary, and most of all – is it addictive.
Clearly we will not get educational policies through the very systems that are supposed to support health and well-being. We live in a society where drug promotion, and drug fraud is rampant, long before we hit the street level drugs.
Whether it is the aggressive and fraudulent pharmaceutical marketing campaigns, or doctors over prescribing, government policies, or criminal drug cartels – it all boils down to profit.
There is big money to be made, and like the old adage “the love of money is the root of all evil” there is no greater truism than in the drug industry. Once a person is addicted it guarantees a steady customer.
Almost all prescription drugs are designed to be refilled over and over, and over again. People will believe they need the drug based on faulty drug promotion surrounding everything from statins, to SSRI’s to Ritalin, and pain relief.
We are indoctrinated. And like being subjected to religious indoctrination, no one else is going to sort it out for us. We have to find the truth for ourselves. We have to get in tune with how we feel, and stop allowing doctors and the pharmaceutical industry to indiscriminately prescribe harmful medications. We have to understand, a high percentage of the pitch to get people to accept drugs is fraudulent. Look up the list of drug companies charged with fraud over the years, if you don’t believe me.
During the years I worked as an RN one thing I definitely noticed, is the fewer drugs a person was on, the more likely they were to be sane and reasonably healthy. This was especially noticeable with seniors presenting in ER, and in long term care.
Those who took only a vitamin, or a baby aspirin once a day, were much healthier, slept better, and had far better cognition than those who were on a number of meds, especially psychoactive meds like antidepressants, benzodiazepines, opiates and sleeping pills.
How many young people have developed an addiction, and then helped themselves to what was in their parents, or grandparents medicine cabinet? There is often an underlying intergenerational, or familial component as a contributing factor that is denied, because the drugs were prescribed by a doctor. They were rationalized, because there was an element of control, and a perceived need.
Yes, certain drugs are useful and needed. But when you compare what is truly needed, to what is being promoted and prescribed, it is wider than the Gulf of Mexico.
The drug motto should not only be buyer beware, but user beware, and if you can avoid going down that path altogether – ignore the propaganda, and take the divergent route. In LTC the medications would be crushed and put into apple sauce, and countless people would immediately spat them out.
We have been sold down the drug river, poisoning all the waters around us. We shouldn’t have to wait until we are ninety years old, to spat out the concoction in a spoonful of apple sauce.
We should spat them out long before we are in a care home, and recognize they could kill us, regardless of how they are disguised, or what kind of hype, slogans, and slick advertising packages they are encased in.
Whenever someone in the system tells us they want to “keep us safe” – it is a dire illusion. It is a drug induced phantasmagoria. It is a grim and grave antithesis, creating a deceptive mirage for us to keep tripping over.
On a street level, safe drugs is a contradiction in terms. It is a tainted booby trap, and another pit fall full of perils. It is a crooked hook, and a strung out stone. The only substance in such a concept – is narcotized and impaired.
I realize all people truly want to save their loved ones, and prevent more tragedies. Love does not remain blind, and when it comes to addiction, there is so much more than meets the eye.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
One thing I find quite amazing is how much the arrest, and guilty verdict changes the faces of women who are convicted of serious crimes.
Lucy Letby went from the face of sweet innocence, to looking like a totally different person, with defeat in her posture, her eyes and features muted, and slanted downward, with no spark left in her demeanour. It was like the lights flickered, and then went out in her dark soul. It seems like she got old overnight.
In some earlier pictures before her arrest, she looks effervescent, bright and sparkly, like a flaxen Asti Spumante. Her mug shot flew the crystal champagne coupe. Now the fizz is off, and the taste insipid.
Jodi Arias went from the confident blonde bombshell, to a mousy plain Jane, with long stringy hair, and unattractive glasses. Compared to her former self, they looked like two different people. Instead of using her hair to attract men, and generate sex appeal, she used it to hide her face in shame during the trial. Same hair – different chair. This time she was on the hot seat, in a whole different snapshot.
Melanie McGuire went from the beaming, witty, flirty, curly haired seductress, to looking like a stressed out hag. She squints her eyes, purses her lips, and it almost seems like her forehead got so low, she appears to be primitive. Her appearance became more antediluvian, like the countenance of a hunter out in the wild. She unwittingly adopted a face to match the barbaric crime she committed.
Lori Vallow aged at least fifteen years during her trial. She was attractive a few years ago, but even though she is only 50 years old, she looks much older, haggard, and literally has the crimes etched into her facial expression, like crevasses on a jagged ledge.
She looks like she took too many trips into outer space. Her makeup cannot cover, or support her crumbling foundation. Her “space craft” is empty, hollow and hallowed. The carefully crafted plot has lost its propellant. The doom and gloom was a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is too bad she took so many people with her, on that factitious, and simulated flying saucer ride.
In many ways these women used their looks, charm, and sex appeal to attract men, feign innocence, and snake it into a web of deception, and destruction. In every case, they targeted those who trusted them the most.
It also seems like one of the first things taken away from them – was their looks. When they got caught in the snare of their own making, the game was over. They managed to checkmate and undo themselves, in spite of all the foxiness, guile, and shrewdness in the world. They unwittingly turned themselves into hellcat shrews.
For all their cleverness, there is an underlying addle-brain, crazy as a loon, dumb as a sack of hammers, and mad as a meat axe, all rolled into one.
Like the crime of Melanie McGuire, another supposedly intelligent, and darling nurse. Imagine cutting your spouse into pieces, and then packing him into your own three piece set of designer luggage, to be disposed of in Chesapeake Bay? It is like something out of a horror movie.
Yet in her mind, it was as if magical thinking was going to send that luggage over the horizon, into another universe, where it could dissolve into the end of the rainbow, and become like little drops of dew on butterfly wings.
The pot of gold was within her reach after all. He was just a means to an end. Her devoted and unsuspecting hubby had the privilege of being at one with a universal cosmic conscience, floating in the bay. Maybe she convinced herself she did him a favour.
Although these women lost their freedom in the process of it all, they lost something that was probably more important to them than anything. They lost their sex appeal, their charm, and their beguiling enchantment. They could no longer entice a fly on the wall, or the slime on a bog.
Each one of them, at one time had it all. They attracted men. They had careers, a home, money, families, and big dreams. They had everything, and it was not enough. They wanted more. They wove themselves into a web, until it became the fabric and essence of who they were. But by then they were hopelessly entangled. They embarked on a course that trapped them. They did it to themselves.
We are all aging, and we all lose our youthful beauty. There is much to be said for having peace of mind. Without it we cannot age gracefully. What is on our minds, and in our hearts – shows on our face. We wear it, and cannot even take it off, or wash it off.
It reinforces the notion that looks are only skin deep, and there is a far more important aura or presence that comes from within. Clearly our motives end up having a profound effect on our appearance.
For these women, and anyone who has done horrific crimes, they tend to deny it. But the best thing they could do for themselves, is admit it, and allow the remorse to genuinely flood over them.
We all have to admit the wrong, and harm we have done, and seek forgiveness. Living a life of denial just etches those lines in deeper. Healing is a very long process. Without forgiveness, healing cannot even begin. All healing begins on the inside, and works it way outward.
As they went on their life’s journey, these women became vain in their own conceit, and used their sex appeal in a way that brought them down, along with many others who crossed their paths.
Clearly vanity is short lived. It might even be one of the shortest distances between two points. As the crow flies, the crows feet are sure to leave their mark beside our eyes. The trickster who lies, ends up with a soul, as black as the crow.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Like so many topics, this question is open to much interpretation. It appears to me Christians do not face judgement, if they are true believers.
We have to take responsibility for seeking the truth, and learning what the Bible actually says, as opposed to just going to church once a week, and listening to a sermon.
Some religions have obvious and distinctive off-base, and cult like belief systems, enough to know they are not teaching the truth, or what is actually in the Bible. In many cases they deceive themselves to believe certain things, based on false and out of context interpretations of the Bible.
None of us knows the in-depth spiritual beliefs of another person, other than our own. We are wise to avoid cults and false doctrine, but we can’t really do much about the fact they exist. In addition, there are many altered versions of the Bible, which causes people to be misled.
The Darby/Scofield Bible with the rapture doctrine, has caused many Christians to be deceived. The Catholic doctrines, and all the spin-offs from those teachings, also carry doctrinal beliefs that are not found in the original Bible.
There are churches teaching prosperity gospel, name it and claim it, and bizarre faith based healings, many of which have been proven to be fake healings, not faith healings. Some are teaching cosmic new age ideologies surrounding oneness with the Universe, and communication with angels, or the dead. It is truly crazy how many have lapsed into false teachings.
There are mega churches more like circuses, or rock concerts, as opposed to being actual churches. There are also churches doing some very questionable and abusive things to people. There are priests who molest children. There are churches who are deceiving people into giving them money, so the leaders are rich, and jet setting around the world living extravagant lifestyles.
Like the romance scammers, they all have devoted followers, willing to give, and keep on giving just to keep the fantasy alive.
Therefore it is possible there are many people who think they are Christians, who might not be. Of course I have no idea for certain, what the fate of the people who fall for it might be, but I have read many warnings in the Bible, telling people not to be deceived. There are also many verses where Christ tells people to depart from Him, because He never knew them.
I tend to think there will be many people who have been deceived, or who set out to deceive others, who will be facing judgement, because they refused to seek and believe the truth.
If we rely on certain denominations or preachers to interpret the Bible for us, we can easily be deceived. There are many verses we have difficulty understanding, but it does not mean we should totally surrender our beliefs to someone else’s interpretation.
We need to be willing to study the Bible ourselves. When we do listen to what various preachers are saying, we need to look it up, and review it for ourselves. We also need to take the full context, not just snippets, to start to get a better idea of what it means overall.
There are many consistent themes throughout the Bible. The consistency is part of what helps us understand what is meant. Certain things are explained often, in different ways, and in different locations.
Truth in our lives is not only for the Bible, but really it is for everything in our lives. The more we deceive, the more we lie, or manipulate, the easier and more natural it becomes. If people continue to accept or follow any kind of deception, eventually they will be sent strong delusion. In fact, the Bible tells us God will send strong delusion to those who refuse to seek or love the truth. It is quite a sobering concept.
As far as judgment goes, we do not deserve to be saved. We all fall short, and if we are truly repentant, it is a profoundly humbling experience. There are so many things that come to mind to be deeply ashamed of and sorry for.
In my own life, I could not even begin to count them all. If not for the grace of God, there is no way I would make it past the lake of fire. I do know that much for certain, and in many ways, what Christ has done for us, is so remarkable, it is almost beyond comprehension.
Faith comes by hearing. We need faith to have hope. We are especially fortunate nowadays to have the audio Bible easily available to us online. I listen to the Alexander Scourby voice only version of the KJV. He has an excellent presentation with not too much emphasis, and changes in pitch patterns, but also enough liveliness to make it interesting. I can honestly say I do not like listening to anyone rant and rave, like some preachers do. In my opinion, some of them sound like lunatics.
Alexander Scourby was the first person to do an audio recording of the King James Version of the Bible. He began the project using long play records in 1949. It took four years to complete so it was made available in 1953. It was done originally for the American Foundation for the Blind.
I had no idea he had done the Bible reading so long ago. I have listened to his reading from start to finish, and hope to listen to it many more times. You can lay your head on the pillow, and just listen to, and absorb the Bible.
After listening to many preachers, some who are quite good, and others who are clearly off-base, it is comforting to just listen to the Bible, without any middle men to do the interpreting. Getting back to whether or not the true believer will be judged, based on what I understand, the answer is no.
There are many preachers who describe the judgement seat of Christ, and give an explanation of how we must all give an account of our lives. I do believe we must all repent. I also believe we cannot hide our motives in any way. Christ will be able to see right through our intentions, deceptions, and our entire history.
But if we have been genuinely repentant, and are sincere believers, and have diligently looked for the truth, I believe we will not face any condemnation. We may have to give an account of things we have done to serve God as Christians, but I do not think we will be judged or condemned for our wrongdoing. What an incredible gift it is to be forgiven.
It is the reason we are told to forgive others, because we ourselves have been forgiven. We also cannot judge others, in the sense of whether or not they will face punishment, or how they will be judged, because it is not our role, and we simply do not know what is going to happen to anyone else. For all people, they have until they die to come to the knowledge of the truth.
It’s not to say we ignore, or fail to recognize evil. We have to support upholding the laws, especially when it comes to protecting children and vulnerable people. Not judging does not mean we think it is okay to lie, poison, murder, steal, manipulate, or become addicted to drugs and alcohol. We know those are among the many things to avoid, to repent of, and to turn away from ourselves.
In some cases, we are supposed to point out the error of thought processes, or misdeeds, because it might help people to recognize the mistakes, deception, betrayal, or intentional cruelty. I think we all have a right to share our beliefs and testimony.
We do seem to be going through a time in history where morals have gone out the window. In fact, many of the things that were once reprehensible or illegal, are now being promoted as being good. It is a very confusing time for young people, growing up in such a misguided world.
Recently there was an uproar because mountain climbers walked over, or past a person who was dying, in order to get to the summit. It seems unbelievable they would take such risks in the first place. How important can it be to get to the top of a mountain?
Yet if I am honest with myself, I can’t even say what I would have done, and could have easily been one of the people who walked past him. There are many people who go on hikes without being prepared, or without having the fitness level to do the hikes.
I have read many cases where other hikers have walked past, or left struggling hikers behind, because they were ill-prepared, and the other hikers did not believe they should have to take responsibility for the bad decisions made by people they do not even know. They just happened to cross paths on a wilderness hike.
There was one case where a climber was roped to his buddy, and his buddy slipped, and fell into a crevasse. He was dangling in mid air. His team mate did try to pull him back up, but eventually he gave up, as it became too dangerous. At a loss for what to do, he reluctantly took out his pocket knife, and cut the rope. It was a very controversial thing to do. Apparently it is a big no no in the world of climbing.
Lo and behold, several hours later when the rope cutting climber was sitting back at the camp, he heard a weak voice calling out from thirty or forty feet away. At first he thought his mind was playing tricks on him, due to a guilty conscience.
Somehow his buddy had dropped to the bottom of the crevasse, was injured, yet managed to climb out of the crevasse. Although he was severely injured, he managed to crawl on his stomach, all the way back to the camp.
Just as miraculously as it was for him to survive the ordeal, he also immediately forgave his buddy, and said he might have done the same thing. He did not blame him, or hold it against him at all, even though many others did. It’s quite a remarkable story.
I really don’t know if other people should be forced to risk their lives for the poor decisions made by other hikers. In many ways, they too, are in a life or death situation. I think they should have rules about hiring, to make sure the employers and money collectors for those expeditions do not place porters and sherpas in high risk situations. If they do not have the fitness level, oxygen bottles, or high altitude training, they should not be able to go.
There are cases where people have risked, and lost their lives to save an animal, usually a dog. If a dog falls into a river, many people believe it is within reason to jump in to try and save it. In some cases, both the owner and the dog drowned.
In my opinion, it is not wise to jump in a river unless you have a sure chance of saving both yourself and the person, or the pet. I do not think people should risk their life for a dog. But I do think it is totally understandable, and commendable, if someone risks their life to save a child. Bravery is noble, but it has to be coupled with common sense, so more lives are not lost in the process.
As far as mountain climbing, it sounds like it has become an individualistic dog-eat-dog type quest. I think they should make people go in teams, with buddy systems in place. If people are in groups or teams, the people know each other, and have practiced together. They can check gear, evaluate fitness levels, do emergency drills, call for help if needed, and if necessary, disqualify someone who is unable to meet the fitness levels etc.
In every way, we are called upon as Christians to be good samaritans too. Does it mean we are to give Narcan, or provide aid to all the people who are passed out on the streets due to the rampant drug use? How much risk should we be expected to take?
If we give money to an addict, it just enables the person to buy more drugs. It is far better to give food and clothing. Yet it is difficult enough just to navigate the street situation, and keep a low profile so you do not become a target, or cause someone who might be paranoid, or in a rage, to do something violent.
If you were to lean over to try and check the pulse of an an addict who is passed out on the street, they might wake up swinging, or have a weapon. The reason is because when addicts pass out on the street, they are immediately vulnerable. Within minutes they are robbed. Another addict will lean over them, and rifle through their pockets for drugs and money. Therefore it is not always safe to get close to, and lean over someone who is passed out on she street.
It is not like being out on a farm, and seeing your neighbour pinned under a tractor wheel. Of course you would immediately call for help, render aid, and if necessary work hard to help get the person free. But when out on the street in an urban area, we don’t know what to do anymore.
But no matter what we do, we are fallible, and prone to making mistakes. It is probably best to pray for people, and pray about what to do, because we really have no clue, if we are left to our own devices.
Ironically, I see people all the time who are huddled in the alcoves of local churches, and church parking lots. Several of them are passed out cold. The drug users congregate there. Then on Sunday morning when the service starts, all the church people arrive in nice cars, all dressed up for the service. It is a juxtaposition that is difficult to reconcile.
One thing for certain, our belief does not warrant any concept of superiority over others at all.
As believers, we can give thanks every single day, whether we go to church or not. It is only by the mercy, love, and grace of God, we will not face condemnation. No matter what situation another person is in, there is still hope for them.
John 5:24 – “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.”
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This case has certainly gripped the profession of nursing, casting a dark cloud of shock, mistrust, and disgust – as opposed to the caring and trusted profession it was thought to be. At least in Britain it has caused a profound public reaction. It appears there will be a public enquiry, and changes to the system as a result.
The media covering the trial, and all the grisly details, has been widespread enough to make every other country re-examine the role of a nurse, and bring pause to the concept of nurses being in positions of ultimate trust.
There is much speculation, and a real possibility it will result in putting CTV cameras on the minute by minute conduct of every single nurse. It is almost beyond belief this could be on the horizon for all health care workers.
If the profession is so untrustworthy it requires constant monitoring, it most certainly can no longer be called a self regulated profession, as they used to claim it was. Perhaps those days are over.
Yet being treated with suspicion is no way to have to work. Even if they did rely on cameras, how could they determine if there was air or saline in a syringe? They would have to develop preloaded syringes for all medications, including normal saline, which is used to flush the IV’s and saline locks.
In addition to the preloaded syringes, they would need to have a sealed colour coded tape over the cap, to break open just prior to accessing the IV, so if there were any untoward reactions, the CTV footage could be looked at, to determine what was in the syringe, and if it had been tampered with.
They would also probably need to hire technicians on every ward to access, and trouble shoot monitors, to include the IV pumps, ventilators, incubators, and all other equipment. They would have to make it clear to all staff to avoid using their body to shield what they are doing. They would have to somehow learn to make all tasks visible to the camera.
The job is stressful enough. This would just add another layer of difficulty, for those working in a task oriented fast paced environment, where people can and do make innocent mistakes.
Instead of insulin being in bottles, they would have to put insulin into preloaded syringes as well. This would be quite difficult, as there are often sliding scale doses, where different short acting and long acting insulin combinations are used, depending on the patient’s blood sugar. The dosages vary a fair bit, and are usually checked against the doctor’s orders by two nurses. One nurse draws up the insulin, and the other watches carefully, and then both nurses sign the medication record.
They would have to create a method to make sure IV bags could not be tampered with. Traditionally most of them simply have access through a rubber stopper on the bag. You wipe it with a swab, and put whatever medication is required into the bag. Or more often, the medication is added to a mini bag which is piggy backed and allowed to run through, instead of putting the medication into the main bag. After it is finished, the main IV resumes. So all mini bags would also have to be tamper proof.
For the most part, if a nurse chose to add something surreptitiously to an IV bag, she could. But in the millions of nurses over the years, and millions of IV bags, how many times would someone do such a thing? I suppose there have been a few cases of murderous health care workers. Each one has a unique abnormal psychology and history.
But poisoning newborns, and tampering with IV lines in a NICU is an isolated occurrence, and perhaps Lucy Letby is the only one who has ever been convicted of doing such a thing. You would no more consider doing such a thing, than you would put antifreeze in someone’s coffee at work. It’s just not even conceivable for most normal people.
Perhaps more than anything, this case ends up shedding light on hospital cover ups, and the corporate image as a priority over and above the patient safety, in particular the protection of the most vulnerable patients. The attempted cover up is almost as bad as the murders, and in some ways, it is even more deranged.
Her image was that of the quintessential nurse. She had no history of being a mean girl, of torturing animals, or even being rebellious. It would seem she was the perfect adorable child, who had morphed into a sweet caring nurse. She was the proverbial poster child for the role.
However behind the facade, she was cunning, devious, and craved attention. She did not really care about the infants she was assigned to. In fact she intentionally harmed them in order to draw attention to herself, and mostly in order to have power, dominance and control. She also wanted to attract a doctor who she had a crush on.
She used her role to get what she wanted, perhaps even more so, to get what was otherwise out of her reach. If she was used to getting what she wanted no matter what, she then decided to up the ante.
But surely things go much deeper than what meets the eye. I am not a psychologist, only speculating. And some of the speculation is based on knowing what it is like to be trapped in a domineering facade, with no plausible escape route.
By the grace of God I did finally escape it, and although I did work as an RN for many years, the profession was not my choice of a career. I was never given credit for having achieved the designation anyway. I escaped it but not unscathed. In fact I am still paying the price for escaping it, on a daily basis. The punishment is ongoing. Setting a boundary should not become a lifelong battle.
When people in a professional role abuse power, it is absolutely appalling. I was forced into the role of being a “nice obedient nurse.” Few professions have more than 90% females with blanket expectations of being sweet, obedient, caring, subservient, and willing to follow orders. The profession was chosen for me so that I would not be able to excel academically. It was a toxic male dominant way of limiting my potential.
I did excel in the nursing courses, but there was a ceiling, a limit, and a job description to adhere to. For me, it was demeaning. It was always associated with the use of force, a pack of lies, and all credit went to the teacher.
We can be somewhat assured that many nurses do not fit the sweet, obedient, nice nurse persona. Nursing services are a commodity, and like any other service, should not have so many syrupy expectations attached to it. Yes nurses should be ethical and caring. However, teachers and anyone else in a professional role should also be professional, ethical and caring.
When people conspire to lock themselves into a deceptive plot, they are not inclined to let go of it. I cannot take responsibility for someone else’s conduct and lies. All I can do is stick to the truth, which is provable and incontrovertible.
The teachers claims about me are false. He should have been held accountable at the onset. It is steeped in deception, betrayal, and blatant brazen lies. His conduct and collusion, is not my fault, and nor is it my fault for telling the truth about my own life.
I graduated early, because I had accelerated through school. My parents were both alive, but were unable to take care of us. As a result, I was targeted by a religious fundamentalist lying high school teacher, who forced me into nursing.
He then took credit for the fact I was a nurse, was very proud of it, and also made outrageous claims about having adopted me, when I was never up for adoption. In fact I was never under his jurisdiction at any point in my life.
He was a total stranger to me, and at the time I was very afraid of him. He was authoritative and domineering to the extreme. He was a bully. Most of the kids in the school were afraid of him.
He decided to paint me as the proverbial bad girl, even though I passed with honours on a regular basis. He was bound and determined to be the pseudo-rescuer. I was simply trying to get through school. There was no princess syndrome whatsoever, but suddenly there was an irreconcilable facade governing my life.
I wanted to go to University with a focus on studying literature and history. I had an interest in design, and artistic endeavours. I also had an offer of a scholarship into an English program. But all of it was shattered by a teacher who abused power, and took command over the direction of my life. I knew the state had to pay for my schooling until I turned eighteen, so I did have a plan in place at a very early age as to how I would get a post secondary education.
When I turned eighteen, I was already two years into a nursing program. The teacher did aggressively try to force me to sign adoption papers, but I flatly refused. I still could not get rid of the guy, because he had infiltrated my family. When I refuted his lies, I was bullied, gaslit, condemned and forced into submission. It went on for years.
The teacher robbed me of who I am for a period of time. He tried to snuff out my family history. He stole my identity, my dreams, aspirations and choices in life. He took away my right to freedom of association, because I had no choice but to associate with him, when I could not even stand him.
He lied about me to everyone. In fact, there was never a single time I was around that man when he did not constantly lie through his teeth. It was a never ending batch of lies. The ultimate con. If I said anything, there was a threat of punishment, blame, and rejection.
He took credit for my academic abilities, when I had been identified as being academically gifted in the first grade. I did not even know him as a teacher until I was a teenager. When I was in first grade, he was seventeen or eighteen years old, and living in another community. He was not even on my radar in any way, shape of form. He came to teach in the community I grew up in when I was already in high school.
He attacked and damaged all of my family relationships. He used me as a fund raising mascot for his cult religion. Because it was obvious I could manage to get a post secondary education, he used it as an opportunity to not only rob me of my academic potential and choices, but also to take credit for what I did accomplish. I was like something he found at a garage sale.
He set out to limit, take credit for, obtain financial gain, shame, accuse, and get a lifelong benefits and multiple perks for doing so. There was no way he was going to let go of the goose that laid his golden egg.
All this because he was a narcissistic predator in a public school, and was allowed to get away with it. He was a man in his twenties who was totally obsessed with a teenage student, yet no one protected me from his supreme aggression, dominance and deception.
This particular teacher, was a recent graduate when he came to teach at our school. He was immature and inexperienced. Yet he had a profound god complex. He seemed to think he could operate outside all boundaries, simply because he was in the role of a teacher. In addition, he was a tough guy. He used all kinds of intimidation tactics to include yelling, making threats, and prolonged staring. He was a punisher, accuser, and guilt tripper. He was an emotional sadist.
Above all, he seemed to think his religious beliefs made him the all encompassing authority. He himself was a deity to be treated with the utmost respect and obedience. He crafted the role, and never let go of it.
Why should anyone in a public school care what his extremist religious views are? Yet he acted like he was wearing the crown of righteousness, which made him the king, with authority over his subjects, and if he chose a specific target, so be it. This was his domain, and no one could challenge him, least of all me.
Although my story is very different, in some ways the polar opposite from Lucy Letby, and the way I reacted was very different, I can kind of see how she was trapped. Only she was trapped in a gilded cage, and I was trapped in another kind of cage.
I had no desire to harm patients, or anyone else for that matter. But there are elements of her pathology that I can kind of understand. I was not doted on by any means, and was not an only child. But I do understand what it is to be trapped, and robbed of an identity. I can relate to how difficult it is to be forced to conform to a certain image, and the expectations of others.
If there is a domination over our independent choices and our free will, it is soul-destroying. Our soul consists of our mind, will and emotions. If we are dominated into submission, there is both anger and guilt. We are supposed to feel gratitude, yet we feel oppressed and angry instead. So there is guilt for not having involuntary gratitude. There is a debt bondage that can never be repaid, or forgotten about. The sad fact is that some people will use others in every conceivable way, to advance their own agenda.
The reason I believe she may have been robbed of her authentic self, is because she was too perfect. Could it be because she felt she had no choice but to be perfect? Was every breath she took aided by a golden fan waving over her, to help the air flow, because in reality, she was being suffocated?
Being the object of constant attention and adoration, could rob a child of key developmental milestones when it comes to autonomy and identity. It would also instil a belief in her that her life mattered, far more than anyone else’s life mattered.
I can understand how rebellious rage, and a sense of entitlement might rise out of a longstanding good girl subservience role, because it is a trap, and is a profoundly psychologically damaging place to be. You are in a prison of sorts, yet no one can see it, and no one is experiencing it but you.
If one is forced to live a lie, or a facade denying the true self, there is a very powerful condemnation, entrapment, cognitive dissonance, and dichotomy of the soul. It ends up being turned inward with no conceivable escape route.
I do understand the intrinsic agony of living in a false world, and trying to constantly please people, without being given the opportunity to be who you are, flaws and all.
From what does meet the eye, I am speculating Lucy Letby may have been dominated and overshadowed by her parents. Without a doubt, her parents would not have intended to harm her psychologically and emotionally. But they did have a role. There is nowhere else to look.
In hindsight, I feel much gratitude toward my own mother, because in spite of her many flaws, she did have genuine love toward me, and created an attachment that was never abandoned or completely severed. She gave us a lot of freedom when we were small, and simply warned us about dangers, like abandoned wells on the farm, and bears in the blueberry patch on the back quarter.
I am not suggesting being an only child is an issue, but rather being an only child who is excessively doted on, in conjunction with portraying an image of perfection, or being conditioned to be a people pleaser, instead of figuring out her own needs first – could cause big problems.
To become a giving person is a good thing. But it is not a good thing, if you have to give yourself away in the process. If so, you are a sacrificial lamb, a mascot, a prop, or a scapegoat. Even if you are put on a pedestal, it’s just a greater distance to fall.
They could not have known what kinds of reactions she might have, with regards to the lifelong childish dependency, doting, and constant attention she received from them as an only child. Following the childhood, she faced the struggles involved in becoming an independent and autonomous adult. It was at that juncture where she ran into serious problems.
The image of her room with teddy bears, fairy lights, and Disney movie type posters, does show that in many ways she was still very immature. She might have been locked into a fantasy world of escapism, but still managed to give the appearance of being normal, simply because she had learned to be a good actress along the way.
Most abnormal psychology develops in the formative years. Therefore her early childhood will be scrutinized. If she had come from a troubled background of poverty and addiction, there would be an immediate blaming of the parents.
In such cases, the judgement is swift and all encompassing. Things like “well what do you expect?” and “she didn’t stand a chance”. Truthfully though, we all stand a chance. Countless people overcome difficult childhoods without becoming serial killers.
But when a wayward person comes from an upstanding middle class home, looking into the nitty gritty nuances of dysfunctional family dynamics, does not have as many people who are even willing to study it. In fact sometimes the polar opposites between too little, and too much advantage, can be equally as debilitating to a child’s development.
If people are expected to evaluate what appears to be normal, yet might not be – they risk being jarred out of their own denial, and might be forced to examine their own lives. So they avoid the analysis altogether.
Dysfunction in families, like so many other things, has no respecter of persons. Denial and dysfunction can happen within any family, rich or poor, addicted, lazy or workaholic, with secrecy and deception, cheating, favouritism, and a false image projected to the outside world. It can be narcissistic, or negligent – there is no shortage of pitfalls.
The fact she committed the crimes in her early twenties, points to what is already known. The adolescent brain is not considered to be fully developed until the early to mid twenties. In her case, as an only child who was doted on, the transition would have been more tangled and difficult.
As all the reporters and experts are pointing out, she was always considered to be a “good girl”. She showed no signs of being anything but a sweet darling who was studious, quiet, obedient, and aspired to be a nurse.
The question is, was that her true self? Surely with domineering parents who she described as “suffocating at times” one would think she would have rebelled at some point. Also if she truly did have psychopathy, it would have shown as having an obvious conduct disorder in her childhood.
Usually a young person in such an environment will do things the parent does not want or expect them to do, by the time they are fourteen or fifteen years old. They might dye their hair purple, experiment with drugs, get tattoos, find a rebel boyfriend, or run away from home. They might sneak out at night, go to parties, or skip classes.
As much as they drive the parents crazy, those are simply examples of the child exercising some personal autonomy, and free will, even though they may not be making the best choices in doing so.
I am not suggesting disobedience to parents, serious rebellion, and very high risk behaviours are a good thing, but rather expected, if the child has been carefully crafted into an image of perfection.
Some kids are naturally very sensible, and don’t get into much trouble. It is more likely to become a problem if they are dominated into submission, or denied the right to take any risks, or make mistakes. They need a certain amount of freedom. Too much advantage can be a real disadvantage. Doting on and spoiling children rotten, does have a dark side.
It sounds like Lucy Letby did none of the above mentioned rebellious activities. She may have felt at some level, that she was a carefully constructed extension of her parent’s image. She may have been so ingrained with what was expected of her, she learned to put on the perfect act. Obedient, submissive, soft spoken, people pleasing, and sweet. She may have felt like a possession, or an object, yet she could not voice how she felt without feeling guilty.
Inwardly she may have felt like she was dying inside. Her true self was being suffocated and snuffed out. She could not grow up and break free. Her parents could not let go, and she could not extricate herself from the bonds of sweetness. Kind of like a fly gets stuck on one of those home made sticky fly traps.
As pure speculation, I am wondering if what Lucy Letby was doing at work was a way of acting out indirectly against parental control. Her projection of familial destruction onto her patients and their families, may have been a deep rooted psychological attack on her own family dynamic.
If Lucy Letby felt objectified as a child, and forced into a facade to suit parental ideals, she may have also projected the destruction of her own false self onto the babies, as a form of extreme aggressive regression. She was suffocated, therefore she would suffocate them. She knew her parents would be devastated if they lost her, so she took children away from their parents, and revelled in their grief.
With each attack, she was attacking the good girl image – the false self, the perfect family. She was attacking the powerless, the vulnerable, and those who had no say. She may have been acting out some of her own childhood psychology, and the rage within her directly onto them. How else does one explain the sadistic nature of those attacks?
She may have regretted her own birth, and in a warped way, thought she was saving them from a life of fabrication, and an existential nothingness.
As a child develops, they gradually learn to stand on their own two feet. The mishaps, mistakes, failures, rebellions, and battles they go through, are all part of developing a strong sense of self.
They are separate from their parents. They are who they are, and they must be allowed to be who they are. They have an identity, and if they cannot get comfortable with, and maintain their identity, it is going to cause them a great deal of harm.
The fact Lucy’s father went to workplace meetings with her, and defended her like a dominant papa bear, is quite telling. There is no way he should have been going to workplace meetings with his adult daughter.
There are many reasons for this. The obvious one is that she needed to take responsibility for her own life, and her own conduct, not have her daddy there to railroad those who were trying to address it.
The other factor is one of confidentiality for the patients, other staff, and the health authority. Outsiders are not allowed to be part of the dialogue as a rule. So why was he allowed to participate in the meetings?
Not only did he participate, but the hospital administration sided with him against the doctors. He succeeded in getting a letter of apology, and nearly got her reinstated without consequences. They also looked at other alternatives, like sending her for her Master’s degree, or relocating her. Clearly her father had a great deal of influence.
But such influence is likely the very thing that caused her so much damage. The interference, the power, the control, the dominance, the rescuer, the getting away with things – may be part of what got her into hot water in the first place. It also prevented her from reaching full maturity.
When she was finally convicted, her mother was extremely distressed, and cried out something like “I did it, take me instead.” This too shows the parents did not see or allow their daughter to be her own person. She was an extension of them. Which means, she too was a product of narcissistic traits, because narcissistic parents view their children as being extensions of themselves.
I am not suggesting the parents are to blame. When adults commit crimes, they are the ones who did the crimes, and they must be the ones who are held responsible for what they did.
Ultimately, Lucy Letby did destroy the ties that bound her so tightly to her parents. Without a doubt they will still support her, and do all they can to arrange appeals etc. But she did succeed in shattering the good girl image, the false self, entrapped in a world of Disney land cotton candy, stuffed animals, and fairy lights.
She contrived an elaborate way to break free. She destroyed others, as she was in the process of breaking out of the mold she had been forced into. She could not cut her own umbilical cord. Her life was an illusion. She shattered the illusion in the worst imaginable way.
I believe the key takeaways in this should be to gain a better understanding of young people who are transitioning into roles involving a lot of responsibility. The level of maturity, and the degree of parental involvement should be taken into consideration.
Health authorities need to be able to see the deeper implications of a father attending workplace meetings with an adult daughter who is in a professional role. Obviously if she needs him there to defend her, she should not be looking after defenceless neonates, or given the trust one would give to a mature adult.
All parents, and all adults, especially those who are in a position to abuse trust, like what happened in my own life, need to realize children are not pawns or mascots to improve their image, or get them what they want.
Children are not extensions of another person. They are not to be dominated into absolute submission. They need the freedom to become their own person. They need to integrate who they are, with how they feel, and what makes sense to them.
Otherwise there is a risk there will be a splitting of self, as there so clearly was with Lucy Letby. On the one hand she was superior, spoiled and grandiose. On the other hand she was bereft, adrift, full of self loathing, and morose.
At some level she must have wanted to be caught, to put an end to it all. She was clever and cunning, yet she left all the evidence, including confessional type notes at her residence for the police to find.
When she was taken off night shift, it was a clear indicator to any intelligent person, that there were serious suspicions developing. Yet she continued the attacks with a brazen disregard for the consequences.
In my opinion a significant part of what developed with Lucy Letby, was a profound act of rebellion. Rebellion against the perfect child image, rebellion against her false self, rebellion against the hierarchy and power structure she saw within the hospital setting, and perhaps even rebellion against God for the very fact families are allowed to exist.
As I contemplated it more, I do not see her as pure evil, and don’t really believe anyone is pure evil, because as long as a person is alive, there is hope for them to repent and see the light. She could not possibly have come to the point in her early twenties to have enough insight, to figure out what was plaguing her. She was used to putting on an act, so she kept on acting.
When we are in our early twenties, we have the energy and resilience to carry out a facade, to seek distractions, to deal with high levels of internal dichotomy, and bounce around a fair bit. But it wears on a person, and eventually there is a breakdown of some sort.
If she would have taken a different path, she may have hit the brick wall sooner. She may have found a way to get out from under it all. Who knows? One thing for certain, is she will have much time to reflect, and hopefully develop true remorse for the victims and their families.
If she does come to such a place, it will be overwhelming for her. There are so many tragedies surrounding this case, it is beyond our capacity as humans to ever fully understand it. How one sweet little girl could turn into an emotional powder keg, is beyond our wildest imaginations.
It seems Lucy to a large extent was a product of her upbringing, a family dynamic that tried to conform to some kind of image, yet it somehow became warped into something truly horrific.
Does this mean her parents are to blame? No it does not. They did nothing intentional to cause Lucy harm. They too will have an astronomical amount of soul searching to do. They have gone through a terrible ordeal, as such an outcome is every parent’s worst nightmare.
If they would have had four children, chances are the others would have been fine. It was a unique dynamic involving certain predispositions, that would have led to her profoundly aberrant psychology.
Most kids who are under the thumb of domineering parents, will rebel and act out long before it gets to the point it did with Lucy Letby. It was a combination of circumstances, like in the model of the Swiss cheese, as a construct developed to avoid such a catastrophe from happening again.
It would probably be a good idea for the British health authority to take an expanded view of this model, and apply it to abnormal psychology, to help prevent it from infiltrating the system, and causing harm to patients:
“James Reason proposed the image of “Swiss cheese” to explain the occurrence of system failures, such as medical mishaps [1–5]. According to this metaphor, in a complex system, hazards are prevented from causing human losses by a series of barriers. Each barrier has unintended weaknesses, or holes – hence the similarity with Swiss cheese. These weaknesses are inconstant – i.e., the holes open and close at random.”
In my opinion those were random acts of violence. The system itself should bear the burden, since they are the only ones who can create the necessary changes, to prevent those holes from lining up again.
She went from a gilded cage to another type of cage, one which she will truly never escape. There is nothing but grief for the families whose babies she so cruelly attacked. In some aspects, this remains a case with no end in sight.
If Lucy Letby’s mother truly did have an extremely difficult birth placing them both in peril, as has been described in various news reports, why didn’t Lucy have any neurological deficits as a result? Just think about the deficits and long term harm she caused when she attacked, and attempted to murder children. At least one of them is severely disabled for life. Who knows the level of cognitive impact, or learning disabilities it may have caused to the others?
If a labour and delivery is so difficult that the child experiences prolonged hypoxia, there will be cerebral palsy, or other lifelong deficits affecting learning, coordination etc. Lucy Letby suffered no such damages. She had no problems learning, or with concentration, or other academic achievements.
It leads me to believe the description of the difficult birth experience could have been exaggerated by her mother, in order to guilt trip her into lifelong gratitude. Even in cases of near misses, close calls and very difficult births, if the outcome is positive, usually the parents breathe a huge sigh of relief, and carry on normal lives. The difficult birth story sounds like it had elements of hyperbole, and long suffering for her poor mother, who may have sought lifelong sympathy for herself.
Millions of women have difficult births. Why would the difficult birth be used as an excuse to molly coddle and watch over her for life, when she was totally competent and just fine? What did living alone when she was in her twenties, and working full time have to do with her difficult birth? It sounds like they used it as an excuse to control her.
Letby made claims to have felt much guilt, and was watched over closely, at least in part, because her mother had a very difficult birth, and they “almost lost her”. That is highly manipulative and absurd. It is not a fair to place such a guilt trip, or preoccupation with morbidity, onto any child.
For those who do become ensnared in the abnormal psychology of another person, especially narcissism and psychopathy, it becomes a life sentence. It is much worse of they have the power to manipulate others.
They inflict such monumental damage, there is no turning back. Oftentimes, they will not stop the destructive behaviours and attitudes, unless they are caught. They condemn their victims to a hellish cycle of abuse.
In the case of Lucy Letby, it is not the fault of the nurses, and should not become the burden of the working nurse. The system needs to step up and take responsibility, especially when it comes to protecting children.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
It is still early in this unfolding mushroom saga, but nevertheless, the person who cooked it up does not have a very good explanation for preparing and serving such a deadly meal. She adamantly claims she meant no harm.
Death cap mushrooms grow in the wild in many countries, to include Canada’s west coast, Europe, North Africa, Scandinavia, Ireland, Poland, Russia, and Australia. This type of mushroom is responsible for 90% of mushroom fatalities worldwide.
However, in spite of their widespread growth, and deadly toxins, it is not the least bit common for someone to cook them up and serve them to a group of people.
There are only about a hundred mushroom fatalities per year worldwide. In some cases, a small child has plucked one off the ground, and eaten it without the parent seeing, or catching it on time. In a handful of cases, death caps were misidentified. Apparently they have a resemblance to straw mushrooms, but straw mushrooms grow in Asia, not Australia.
Death cap mushrooms do grow in Australia, and are noted to grow in the area where this poisoning occurred. So it is possible she picked them herself, even though she claimed to have bought them.
Most people who go mushroom picking know how to identify what is safe, and avoid what is poison. Anyone who does go out picking mushrooms should be very cautious.
While living on Haida Gwaii, I will admit to having picked buckets full of chanterelle mushrooms. It was kind of cool, because you find a few, and like following bread crumbs through the forest, suddenly you come into a clearing loaded with chanterelles, glistening like harvest gold in the fall sun.
But chanterelle mushrooms have very distinctive colouring, and are easy to identify. I did see some strange looking mushrooms that actually looked sinister. I think it would be riskier to pick some of the different varieties, including psilocybin, because there is a whole field of knowledge to gain, before heading into those fields.
If a person did decide to intentionally poison someone, death cap mushrooms would do the deed, probably quicker than anti-freeze.
When I saw the initial video clip of Erin Patterson crying about the death of her in-laws due to a lunch she served, my first thought was, but why are you still alive? I mean she served the same lunch to a group of people, and they were fatally poisoned, with the exception of one, who is clinging to life and requiring a liver transplant. That was the fate of her guests.
Yet somehow she, the one who prepared the meal, is unscathed except for an abundance of crocodile tears. To paraphrase a few things she said from the get go, it is interesting to note the first thing she did, was to contact a criminal lawyer. She then refused to answer basic questions from the police about where the poison mushrooms came from.
She eventually disclosed where she got them. She claimed she bought dried mushrooms from an Asian grocery store, and combined them with fresh mushrooms from a local supermarket. But for the life of her, she could not remember the name of the Asian grocery store.
If she was genuinely grief stricken over what happened to her in-laws, you would think her first concern would be to warn others about the potential for poisoning. You would think she would immediately cooperate with police, and give as many details as possible, including exactly where she got them.
But first it was “no comment” to the repeated questions, and then it was a vague reference to an Asian grocery store, but she could not remember where it was.
So right out of the gate, suspicions began to stir the rumour mills. Following the extensive crying without answering their questions, the media was determined to find out, so they hounded her relentlessly.
She had a bucket load of dry tears, and emotional drama, while clearly trying to avoid giving any details such as how it happened, where the mushrooms came from, and how she managed to come through it all without being poisoned too.
One thing I have noticed after watching a number of true crime shows, is how common it is for the person who has committed the crime to act overly emotional and dramatic. The case of Alex Murdaugh is an example of this. When he called 911, he put on an act to appear shocked and devastated, wailing over the phone, as though he had just discovered the bodies, and was completely overwhelmed.
Although there is a wide range of responses to shocking crimes and death, it is not uncommon for people to put on an act, in an attempt to demonstrate strong emotions. However, if a person does put on an act in front of the media, it is even worse than if they cry and wail over the phone, because when in front of the camera, every single nuance, word, body language, and in particular, facial expression, can be dissected, studied, paused, and diagnosed like a frog in a laboratory.
Everything from the eyebrows, the eyes, the mouth, the way the words are used, and the expression that goes with each word, is evaluated by countless experts. They do not miss anything. So anyone who stands in front of the media is wise to tell the truth, or else put a blanket over their head and hide.
Police investigations do not get advanced based on emotions. All the crying in the world does not make a difference to them. They have seen it all, and will follow the evidence, not the tears. They are also intuitive, and likely to be on the cynical side. They may not have advanced degrees in every nuance of the body language and facial expression, but they do have the well honed gut feeling. They may have to set it aside temporarily as they work things through, but they do not ignore it. The gut has already been proven to be part of the rapid communication between the instinct, and the brain.
Probably some of them do have advanced degrees in assessing body language, but regardless, they can pick up on those subtleties like a bloodhound on a trail. They can also go over video footage and get expert consultation after the interview. Who can blame them for being cynical? They have a job that requires a certain level of skepticism, not gullibility, or they would never solve the crimes.
The media, like the police, are prone to hunches and gut instinct as well, and will chase a story, herding up every word, like an industrious and energetic border collie. They will not let one utterance stray off, without pouncing, and nipping at the heels. The old adage “loose lips sink ships” does apply to unexplained deaths.
Just based on what has been reported in the news, it seems incredible to me she would contact a lawyer, initially say “no comment”, and then give a publicized media interview, especially without anticipating the most likely, and pressing question of all would be, “what about the lunch you cooked?”
Instead she went on about how the dinner guests had never harmed her, and how devastated she was. Why would the issue of harm be brought up at all? The media was not asking her if she had a reason to harm them, or if they had ever harmed her. They were asking her specifically about the lunch, and where the mushrooms came from.
She should have known she could not duck out of answering the most important question of all. Yet she waffled, deflected, and clearly did not want to talk about the lunch she had so meticulously prepared. She spent hours and hours cooking a special dish, yet she did not want to discuss it at all, not even to issue a carefully prepared statement about it to the media? Very strange.
The fact she claimed to have been poisoned too, sounds completely bogus to me. She could have easily told hospital staff she had diarrhea and vomiting, or had abdominal pain. How could they prove otherwise?
She said they gave her IV fluids and liver medications, and sent her home. But even so – she was just fine hours and days later, when that is not what happens with death cap mushroom poisoning. What about the fact the poisoning attacks the liver and kidneys days later? What about the fact there is a period of improvement, followed by worsening of symptoms and organ failure?
Does she really believe she would be out of danger by being given a liver protecting drug? If it was so simple, why didn’t the others get the liver protecting drug, and get sent home too?
Obviously if a liver protecting drug can be an antidote for the poison, the other guests who were so sick would have been given it as well, as soon as they were admitted. Why did it protect her and not them?
The mushroom experts, and doctors familiar with these poisonings, claim there is no antidote at all. It is not like snake venom, or other types of poisoning, that can be given an antidote and reversed. It is precisely what makes them so dangerous, and why the death is painful, irreversible, and horrific. It is also why victims of death cap poisoning need a liver transplant.
In my opinion, this woman is not the sharpest tool in the shed. She makes claims that do not make sense, are easy to disprove, and make her look more guilty, not less. Did she really get a liver protective medication? I wonder what it was called, and how effective it is in cases of death cap mushroom poisoning? Only for her I guess.
She also claimed her children were not home for the lunch. They went to the movies. You would kind of think they would be there too, in order to spend time with their grandparents. Maybe it was to be a meal meant for an adult conversation. She repeatedly said her children loved their grandparents. They may have gone to the movies, to allow for a private discussion, or perhaps to spare them some anticipated confrontations, or information their mother did not want them to hear. Who knows? At this point, there is a great deal of speculation.
She then explained, the next day was when she scraped the mushrooms off the beef wellington, and fed the leftovers to her kids. Huh? How does it make sense, if the rest of the guests fell ill within a matter of hours?
She also said she herself got sick. Symptoms first occur within about eight to ten hours, depending on the amount consumed. It means those who ate the lunch would have been sick by 10 pm, assuming they ate lunch between noon and 2pm.
Why would anyone in their right mind feed the same meal to her children the following day? She claimed she was admitted to hospital, presumedly on the same night as the rest of the guests, and released in the morning. So she went home and promptly gave the kids the same meal? I really wonder if she was admitted to the hospital at all. Again, it is easy enough to prove or disprove.
If she did give the kids the meal, even if she scraped the mushrooms off, they still would have been poisoned. Therefore, in addition to other lies she told, this too has to be a lie.
Although at this point, it is all speculation, we do know there were poisonings. The reason I think she is lying about giving the children the same meal the next day, is because it would have been toxic, and she would have known it definitively by then.
It sounds like she made this claim to explain why the children were not fed the same meal when she served it to their grandparents. She was trying to make a case for innocence, but kept making it worse.
The key thing about dehydrated mushrooms, is they take on the moisture from whatever they are cooked in, and become rehydrated. The moisture from the fresh mushrooms, beef, and other ingredients, would have toxins from the death cap mushrooms leeching throughout the entire dish. That is precisely why people add savoury ingredients to a meal. They permeate and blend with the other ingredients.
Beef wellington is especially well known for the succulent and juicy meat used in the dish. The contamination with toxins, if they were actually used in the cooking, had to be spread throughout the entire dish.
The only other explanation might be that she surreptitiously added some dried death cap mushroom powder to certain plates, and did not cook the death caps into the beef wellington.
The possibility she crushed, powdered, and added them to tea crossed my mind as well. It might be less likely, but it is possible. Mushroom tea is not unheard of, and the taste could be disguised, if mixed with something else. In addition, the guests had the taste of mushrooms on their palette anyway, so may not have noticed the taste in tea.
It is not a theory I have heard anyone else make, but it did occur to me, because I have seen many dried mushroom powders in health food stores, so they do get dried, and ground for herbal teas. Surely they do not use death caps, but it is possible they too could be prepared in such a way.
In my opinion, it is very doubtful she gave the mushroom dish to the children at all. I also do not believe she ate one bit of the toxic mix herself. Given her weak explanations, it is also hard to explain how she herself escaped being poisoned. Hopefully the remaining victim will survive, and be able to shed some light on what truly happened, in particular how she acted throughout the lunch.
The next red flag is when she claimed she had thrown out a food dehydrator months prior to the poisonings. Yet while in the hospital after the poisonings, her ex husband accused her of poisoning them. She claimed to have panicked, and thrown out the food dehydrator after he made this accusation. She also admitted to having lied about it to police.
Whatever the truth is, they did find it, and they also have CTV footage of when she took it to the recycling plant. So regardless of what she says about the timing surrounding the disposal of it, they already have proof. Although I am not sure, I have also heard hints about proof surrounding her claims of being taken to hospital by ambulance herself. But once again, it is still inconclusive until all the pieces are put together to make the whole story.
It is also interesting to note she did not take the food dehydrator to the recycling place nearest to her house, but chose one a bit further away. It could be she was driving past the further location for another reason. But still, it does seem she had issues with the food dehydrator, and getting rid of it was a big deal.
The next question is, why would she have used a food dehydrator to dehydrate dried mushrooms? She had supposedly purchased them at an Asian grocery store, and kept in the cupboard for months? They were already dehydrated. For crying out loud – maybe it explains why she was crying out loud.
Why would she have panicked about the food dehydrator in the first place? Why would she have thrown it out? It sounds like there is a good chance they will find residue from death cap mushrooms in the food dehydrator. If so, how is she going to explain that?
It has been divulged she is an expert mushroom forager, and knew what she was doing when it came to identifying mushrooms. Even so, she did not claim to have picked them herself. If she had claimed to pick them herself, her defence would not be as difficult. She could wail and claim she made a dreadful mistake. She didn’t have her glasses on, she was really tired, or whatever.
But now, she is committed to the Asian grocery store claim, as far as the source of the mushrooms is concerned. She also cannot explain why no one else in the community bought mushrooms from the same store, why there were no other poisonings, or recalls, etc. Whatever was being cooked up in her mind, she was not thinking it through.
Also the chances of commercial growers and sellers being guilty of selling poisonous mushrooms, is almost nil. So she has locked herself into an unlikely source. No doubt it has caused a drop in mushroom sales.
To add to the dishy roman-fleuve, her ex-husband suffered a severe bout of gastric illness and almost died a year or so prior to this episode. He was also invited to the lethal lunch, but backed out at the last minute.
Another thing to surface, was when a painter showed pictures of a kitchen wall at the former residence of this woman, showing all kinds of strange death related imagery, tombstones and words like “death by my sword”. Why would anyone have such macabre images and words on their kitchen wall? Like everything else about her, why would she be dumb enough to leave it there when she moved? Obviously the realtor, and others who see it are bound to be alarmed.
The writing is on the wall. The assumption was the children did all the morbid doodling, but maybe she was the one who did it. It certainly did not look like the drawings children would make, however I don’t know how old they are. Also, whose handwriting was it? There were many words alongside the images.
Toxicology reports take many weeks, and it will take many more weeks, or months for the police to do an in-depth investigation. Of course she is innocent until proven guilty. Regardless of what anyone’s opinions are, many people are afraid to say what they think before the remaining details are known. However, there are many legitimate questions, whether she likes it or not.
So far, the one good thing to come of it, is her children are safe, as they have apparently been removed from her custody. At least they are protected from any potential harm, or strange concoctions.
At this point, along with millions of others, people are praying for the one surviving victim. It has already been three weeks since his horrible ordeal began. Let’s hope he lives to tell his story, and is able to make a full recovery.
If it does turn out to be intentional, it certainly falls into the category of diabolical. Poisoning has to be one of the sneakiest, and cruelest forms of death. I think most people would rather be shot.
Preparing and serving food is supposed to be nurturing. It is traditionally one of the most positive shared experiences known to people from all cultures and walks of life. To betray the trust and good will involved in such a gathering, is beyond comprehension.
Usually if a person is poisoned intentionally, it is done to one individual. There have been cases where a murderer poisoned one individual, and then later used the same method on another.
Who knows what the outcome will be, but it does seem odd for all the people at a dinner or lunch party to be fatally poisoned, and only the one who prepared the meal survived unscathed. It sounds like she has a lot more explaining to do. Crocodile tears are not going to get her out of the jam she is in.
If she does manage to avoid being charged, how many people are going to eat anything she cooks ever again? Even her children would not be safe, because who knows what she might feed them?
Even if it was a mistake, obviously she is not cooking with a full deck. She thinks she is being unfairly portrayed by the media as an evil witch. If she is not an evil witch, there is still something seriously wrong with her thought processes, and her cooking abilities.
If she does turn out to be guilty of intentional poisoning, it confirms the one thing I believe is the biggest mistake a murder victim ever makes. They are trusting, and do not consider the possibility the person they know, could be, or might be homicidal. It’s an understandable, and innocent, but often fatal mistake. They trusted. Trust should never have such consequences, especially in families, but sadly, it often does.
It doesn’t sound like she is too fond of the media. They did not buy into her emotional drama, sans the full account of what actually happened. They have been hounding her like a pack of hungry dogs. But they better not take any scraps she throws their way!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This has been a disturbing and mind boggling case, in particular for those with a background in hospitals, and the care of neonates. It is also an incredibly convoluted study on abnormal human psychology, considering her role, her outward appearances, and the fact the victims were so defenceless, and innocent – more so, than any other human being could possibly be.
The verdict is finally in, convicting the former neonatal intensive care nurse of murdering seven babies, and attempting to murder several more. What a terrible ordeal for all those involved.
The verdict is opening up a much wider investigation, into all the baby deaths in locations she worked, during the entire time she worked as a nurse. Fortunately, she only worked for about five years, but even so, it will be an astronomical task, to delve into her entire history on every single shift.
It is also bringing out issues that could not be discussed during the trial, and the deliberations. In leading up to the murders, she must have tried a few other devious things, with many near misses, or with outcomes that were assumed to be natural.
Now, they will have to comb through hundreds more charts, and potential cases. Hindsight will now add a lot more skepticism, and a lot less benefit of the doubt. It is likely there is much more to be revealed in the coming months. The veil of secrecy is lifted. Any loyalty toward her will evaporate, perhaps with the exception of her parents.
When it comes to abnormal psychology, it is very difficult to assess her conduct based on normal values. However, one of the things this might bring to light, is that the issue of abnormal psychology, is more prevalent than we like to believe.
There is a popular YouTube doctor named Les Carter, who has done many videos about narcissism, and all the various tentacles surrounding this personality disorder. His videos are designed to help the victims recover, and gain a better understanding of the abuser’s mindset. He is outlining ways to help victims regain self worth, boundaries, and control over their own lives.
Dr. Les Carter has garnered over one hundred million views. This means the subject of abnormal psychology, and abuse from narcissistic personalties, is affecting millions of people. Therefore this type of personality disorder, and all that is associated with it extending to antisocial behaviour, psychopathy, sophisticated deceptions, gaslighting, sadistic tendencies, manipulations, and other destructive traits, are not as rare as we originally thought.
In the case of Lucy Letby, all the traits Dr. Carter describes are now easier to see, once the verdict is in. Before there was a full investigation and final verdict, few people wanted to admit what actually happened. But now, her personality traits will be put under a microscope, and seen with much more clarity.
Although the depths of depravity in her case may never be fully understood, I believe the root of it is narcissism. She was the centre of her own universe, and the babies she victimized were simply part of her narcissistic supply. They were easy targets, as they had no way of defending themselves, or telling anyone about it.
As a part of this dark trait, she also had sadistic elements to her personality, because much of what she did was akin to torture. She also appeared to get pleasure out of the grief, and devastation she caused for the parents, and families of those babies.
At the heart of it though, in my opinion, was her desire to be the top dog on the ward. It still boils down to dominance and control. Once you graduate as a nurse, you soon find out there is a distinctive hierarchy in the medical system.
From various reports on the Internet and true crime podcasters, it appears Lucy Letby aspired to become a nurse, and when she achieved her goal, the parents were very proud. They were proud to the extent it was published in local papers, and her achievement was a very big deal.
Many people would claim such a reaction is normal, as all parents are proud of their child’s accomplishments. But once more details emerge, I am inclined to think it was over the top. In most cases, a parent’s pride does not lead to abnormal behaviour, but if she was already predisposed to narcissism, her expectations surrounding her achievements as a nurse, would be more than what is reasonable.
Whatever an adult decides to do, is not the fault of the parents. No parent is perfect, and if we are honest, we all must admit to making some dreadful mistakes. If anything should humble us, it is in the fact we have failed those we love the most, in countless ways.
Yes we have to work hard to raise them, and some get far better care than others. Some get way too much attention, and others get way too little attention. Sometimes too much advantage can be a disadvantage. Therefore, even good intentions, and inadvertently spoiling them, can go awry.
In other cases, kids live in what appears to be an idyllic environment, yet they may be affected by tensions between parents, or strictness, or rigidity, or laxity, or unfairness, or too much concern about what the neighbours think, or too much focus on money, or subtle forms of emotional abuse. We simply do not know what goes on in families, and how things are interpreted by the children.
Our children grow up by the grace of God. Some are very resilient, some are naturally kind and good hearted. Others are an incredible handful, leaving parents at their wits end.
One cannot help but wonder if her need for attention, and inclination toward harming others, was evident during her childhood. You have to wonder if the sadistic aspects of her personality showed in the way she treated animals, like puppies and kittens. Or if she was mean to smaller children, or deceptive and manipulative to the extreme. It is not that uncommon for parents to think their little darling can do no wrong.
After graduation, she took a post-basic NICU certification, which in the UK, gives a nurse a higher level of recognition and responsibility. In Canada, these post-basic certifications are quite common, and are often a requirement to work in specialty areas. They do not exalt a nurse into a goddess-like state of importance. But there are some nurses who put on airs of superiority, usually in order to cover up feelings of insecurity.
The jumbled notes, and various text messages she wrote, do support the theory that she did have the dichotomy of both shame, and supreme arrogance within her troubled psyche. This is something Dr. Carter goes into detail about, as he describes this personality disorder.
Once she graduated, she would have soon realized the role of a nurse is not at the top of the medical pyramid. It is a highly task oriented role, and not as exalted as she would have liked, given the hierarchy within such a system. She may have become disillusioned. She was not the super star centre of attention she had envisioned herself to be. She had to craft a way to overcome the mundane tasks of everyday life on the ward.
She would have soon realized it was the doctors who wrote the orders, did the diagnostics, and had a superior role. Therefore, given the highly competitive nature of the narcissist personality, she had to devise ways to control, and play a game of one-upmanship.
She became the ward puppet master. She was the centre of attention, like the creator and director of her own reality TV show, involving human drama in a hospital setting. Only she was dealing with real lives. And clearly those lives did not matter anywhere near as much as her own life mattered. The people around her were little more than props, to serve her own ego and sadistic entertainment.
She found a way to create drama on the ward, and bring everyone running to her side. They could not figure out what was going on, but secretly she knew. How clever. That would give her not only the attention she craved, but also the superiority and control, over and above everyone else on the ward.
All normal people who are unexpectedly called upon to intubate, or do CPR, insert IV’s, or give treatments in an emergency situation, become stressed. Especially when it involves neonates, or children.
They are suddenly and without warning, thrust into a situation involving intense focus, and often have fear of making a mistake. Sometimes it is difficult to intubate, or get the IV into the vein. They know they are in a position of life or death decisions, and competencies.
Sometimes they cannot locate the proper equipment, or have to rely on someone else who does not know where things are. But in all of the collapses she caused, she would be equipped, because she knew what was about to happen.
For a person who has no empathy, and orchestrated the drama, she would have a completely different viewpoint. The stress she sees in others, reinforces her accusations of their faults and incompetence. She is making her observations, and reactions, from a position of superiority and judgment, even though she is the one who caused the catastrophe.
Projection is a common defence mechanism in such a personality type. She was seeking ways to project her own insecurities onto others, in order to make herself feel superior. She made frequent references to the lack of qualifications, and the errors made by others. Even though she was the common denominator in all of the sudden collapses, the only admissions she made, were on the scrawled post-it notes found in her house.
Yet because other people do tend to have empathy, she also drew upon them later, for sympathy, and affirmations of what she had to go through, how calm she was, and how well she did, considering the unfortunate situation. She followed up with a “poor me” and “why does it always happen to me” outreach for sympathy from co-workers. It is as diabolical as it gets.
Her manipulations included a married doctor who she had a relationship with, and whose support she had brought into her corner. When there was a collapse, and he was on call, he came running to work alongside her. Afterwards the two of them would share lengthy dialogues via texts, and he would offer his sympathy, support, and encouragement.
Although he was never named during the trial, he will still have a lot of explaining to do. Not only to his wife, but to his professional association as well. Although affairs are common in hospitals, murder is not. There were text messages between them after he met with other doctors who had concerns about her, and were raising alarm bells. I think those are the ones that might land him in hot water.
Her doctor friend was kind enough to reassure her after one such meeting. He disclosed some confidential information from the meeting, telling her she had nothing to worry about, and her charting was spot-on. They also talked about how well they worked together. She wanted him there when she needed him.
It was also disclosed, without a lot of detail, what most of us would view as being more than a co-worker relationship, as they did do some things together outside the hospital. So far, it was described as shared meals, and shopping trips. How many people would see such activities as being nothing more than a friendship between colleagues? How many other nurses did he go on shopping trips with, or out for dinner? One does wonder.
On one of the exchanges between the two, he asked her if she wanted him to pick up some lunch for her. She wrote dreamily about him in her diary. They shared emoji hearts, and other signs of a warm and fuzzy, so-called colleague friendship.
I worked in a hospital setting, and did have a few doctors make advances, which was bait I am glad to have avoided. I also witnessed the affairs that developed between a few others.
I don’t think I ever came across a nurse in a working environment, where a doctor offered to pick up some lunch for her. The only case I could imagine an innocent lunch offer happening, is if the doctor went out to buy lunch for everyone. Although it could happen, I never did see that either. Not even donuts. Usually it was a grateful patient who brought in the donuts.
She also shared multiple other texts with co-workers seeking attention, and support for how she handled herself in the crisis situations. Even after she was taken off night shift, she did not clue in or realize the gravity of the suspicions against her. She continued her rampage while on the day shift, long after several doctors had voiced grave concerns about what was going on with her. She was mad at them for conspiring against her. How dare they!
It got to the point where she was so heady and high-minded, she became increasingly reckless. Part of this might have been because she had been the poster face for a fund raising campaign that generated a significant sum of money for the hospital.
She was the trustworthy sweet young nurse, a fresh face, depicting a dedicated nurse holding up an infant onesie for the photo-ops. This might have been part of the reason the hospital administration did not want to pursue the allegations against her. After all, she had recently been part of a successful PR campaign with her innocent looking face plastered everywhere.
I believe Lucy Letby learned the ropes soon after she graduated, and simultaneously recognized the hierarchy and constraints of her role. She then used her knowledge, combined with the trust, and the opportunities to do surreptitious harm, in order to elevate herself to a position of control and domination on the ward. She would be the one to call the shots, because she had methods involving sophisticated deception, and manipulation of all those around her.
To confirm just how much of a power play she was involved in, it is incredible to realize she had the hospital administrators siding with her against the doctors who were raising alarms. The administration made it clear they planned to reinstate her, and then had the gall to force an apology. Not only did she expect them to apologize and be willing to work with her, but she also demanded they were to be “happy to work with her”.
It must have been a sickening ordeal for those doctors. She nearly got her way, and if nothing else, she played enough head games, and power plays to cause them severe psychological and emotional distress. They knew they had legitimate concerns, yet they were being gaslit, undermined, and dis-qualified. To be patient and humble in such circumstances would have been incredibly difficult.
When a police investigation was finally launched, the doctors received some well deserved validation. It took the team of doctors, combined with a team of police officers, and some dogged determination on their part, to overcome her clinical knowledge, and expert ability to con and lie – in order to finally get her backed into a corner.
At a certain point, she eventually had her meltdown moments. At long last, some intrinsic revelation came to light in her dark soul. It took an incredible effort to get things to that point. For a significant period of time during the protracted battle with the doctors, she clearly believed she was going to get away with murder.
Even after her first two arrests, she managed to get out on bail. She must have had a lot of confidence in her ability to get herself out of a bind. When she was arrested for a third time, without bail, it became pretty clear the police were convinced she was guilty.
She was just one person, a spoiled, haughty, self-indulgent nurse, who did not even have a solid or lengthy track record – yet it took a monumental effort to first put a stop to the harm she was doing, then to finally convict her. It took a team of doctors, a team of police officers, a prosecution team, and a team of jurors to bring down this one young woman.
The babies were dehumanized, and used as narcissistic supply. What is most horrific of all, is that the methods she used, and the injuries she inflicted, in many cases, were torture. Force feeding a large amount of milk and air into the stomach of a tiny baby, is torture. One can only imagine the pain and discomfort this would have caused.
If any adult can envision someone standing over them with a bucket of milk, and forcing it into their stomach with a primitive pump, until the stomach is so distended, it interferes with the diaphragm and breathing, displaces organs, and causes severe hypoxia – what else could it be called but torture?
In a similar vein, using a syringe to push air into the veins, causes a large bubble of air to travel to one of the chambers of the heart, or to the brains or lungs, and cause a catastrophic collapse.
In other cases, a sharp instrument caused bleeding in the throat. Could she have used a guide wire, or a metal laryngoscope blade to cause those injuries? In addition, she put at least two babies into insulin shock, which is something done by fascists in another era, to cause harm to patients, in particular psych patients.
In another case, a child had a traumatic liver injury. One can only wonder, and shudder at the thought of what else she may have done to those poor defenceless babies during her reign of terror.
One thing for certain, is that narcissists will use vulnerable people as targets for their destructive tendencies. They will use incredibly devious schemes, plots, and deception to cover their tracks. They will never admit wrongdoing, or show remorse.
In addition, one of the key takeaways, is to notice how much their lives matter. They do not consider the effect on the victims. Lucy Letby cried and claimed she had PTSD because she was arrested in her pyjamas, and was devastated to be faced with consequences. After all, she professed her innocence. What more did they expect?
The police did a good job. Even though it was a very complex case, with a plethora of medical terminology to deal with, they did not back off. Like the jury, they deserve a great deal of credit for bringing justice to the families.
She became very upset when the married doctor she was in love with entered the court room to give his testimony. She was angry and upset when she was taken off the ward, and given administrative duties, to the extent she filed a grievance against the hospital for what she perceived as “unfair treatment”. Clearly her life mattered, right down to the expectation of fair treatment, yet what kind of fair treatment did her victims get?
Perhaps this case will serve as a wake up call, not only for hospitals, but for all people, to realize this type of disorder is contributing to widespread societal problems, and harm to innocent people.
Some say she was so ordinary she was beige or bland. Others say she was jealous of the parents of the babies, who had each other, and were having a family together, while she was a lonely spinster with just her cats.
I think she may have felt jealous and coveted those things. But we have to keep in mind, she started killing babies when she was just twenty-five years old. In addition, she must have had thoughts of doing so before she actually did it. So how does a person in their early twenties come to the conclusion they will never have children, never have a family etc.? She was young and single with an active social life. She could have easily met someone outside of work to partner up with.
Instead, she chose to become fixated on a married doctor, who was also a co-worker. Is that why she thought she would never marry? Because he was not available? Yet she was making a choice to go after someone who was married. So she was making tangible choices.
Given the idea she may have been jealous or covetous, it appears she was coveting a married co-worker, instead of making a wiser choice in a larger pool of available young men. She was self-sabotaging. People who really do want to find a partner and settle down, will find one. Only in rare exceptions of extreme oddities in looks or personality, does a person who wants a partner, get totally rejected by the opposite sex.
I think the most telling components of Letby’s thought distortions, can be seen in those jumbled notes she wrote. They are skewed, layered, dichotomous, self-incriminatory, and not the least bit fastidious or organized.
I think she was on a narcissist path of catastrophic self implosion. For some reason she had a fractured self, a broken identity alternating between self exaltation, and self recrimination. There was an irreconcilable splitting of her self image and self worth. On one hand it was grandiose, and on the other hand it was morose.
Now that she has been convicted, in hindsight I bet she realizes she threw away a wonderful life. In retrospect, she had it all. She had a good job, her own house, doting parents, a good standard of living, an active social life, holidays, dancing, freedom, fitness, and an entire ocean full of fish in the sea.
But when her childhood water wings were removed, she drowned herself, merely for a lack of being constantly put on the pedestal of being special. It was too far to fall, and it shattered her. Her Disney world movie of seeing herself as a princess in real life, was unattainable. She did not leave sparkles everywhere she went. She had to construct another way to be special, no matter what it took, or who it took away from this world.
I know many people do not want to consider the existence of evil, as everything destructive must be a mental health disorder. If it can be deemed a mental health disorder, the person is sick, not evil. Similar to the Lindsay Clancy case, another murderous nurse, who is said to have had postpartum depression, so she strangled all three of her children.
People come out in droves with sympathy, and exclaim how she needed help. She did get help. She was going to a mental health outpatient clinic five days a week. She had been doctor hopping to the extent she had thirteen different psych meds prescribed to her over a four month period. She was also addicted to benzos.
In addition, her husband was working from home to help support her. She got far more help than the average woman with young children gets. If she was so disabled from a mental health disorder, how did she drive, act normal, socialize, and take her children to appointments, etc.? Why were they not taken away from her until she got sorted out?
And perhaps more than anything else, how did she plan the murder of three young children right down to the minute? She sent her husband on an errand, and then diverted him more by asking him to pick up a children’s laxative at the pharmacy, when she knew darn well the child would never need the medication, based on what she had so meticulously planned out.
Postpartum depression is a real condition, and many women do suffer from it temporarily, usually within the weeks after giving birth, as the hormones adjust.
However, they seldom kill their children. The other factor is that the incidence of female and male filicide is the same. Men do not get diagnosed with postpartum depression, so how does anyone explain the fact that men kill children too?
There has to be a component of evil combined with mental health disorders, and other stressors, usually financial. It is frequently combined with substance abuse, and marital conflict as well. Lindsay Clancy did not want to go back to work. She expressed it in her many FB posts about her resentments, rage, and mental health difficulties prior to the murders.
We have to come to terms with the fact evil does exist in this world. Turning a blind eye only leads to denial, excuses, and the belief that a person who does such things can find an easy diagnosis, and defence for committing such atrocious crimes. Her first question after the fact was “Do I need an attorney?” How many people honestly believe it is the first question a truly psychotic person would ask after killing three small children?
Lindsay Clancy’s youngest child was eight months old, yet there are people who are still announcing he was a newborn. In fact, the little guy was found in her husbands office, which made me wonder if he was trying to crawl away to escape her murderous rampage.
She would most likely have killed the older children first, as they would have been harder to control, especially the five year old. In addition, the youngest was the only one who was transferred to a hospital, and lived for awhile, which makes me think he was the last one she attacked.
When you think about it, few things could be more horrific. Lindsay Clancy was a nurse who worked in labour and delivery. Like Lucy Letby, she must have had more demons than anyone recognized.
In my opinion evil can co-exist with mental health disorders. Not all people with mental health disorders are evil, but some of them are a combination of both. Most people with mental health disorders are not violent or evil. They are struggling. But unfortunately, some people do become evil.
In addition, not all people who are evil would even be diagnosed with a mental health disorder, until they are convicted of some serious crimes. People can do a lot of relationship damage without being charged with a crime. As Dr. Carter points out, it is especially so in toxic family dynamics, where there is a need for one person to have absolute power, dominance and control. Certain others get destroyed in the process.
As much as people are not inclined to believe evil exists, many more do not want to bring the Bible into the equation either. We do know that some so-called Bible thumpers can be evil too, especially if they take scripture out of context, and use it for their own selfish agenda, or as a tool of deception. But those people are not true Bible believers, so there is a differentiation to be made.
Similar to Lucy Letby taking her medical knowledge out of context, and using it as a weapon, instead of advanced knowledge to improve care, some religious people also take the Bible out of context as well. They are simply using the Bible to serve a selfish agenda. They use scripture to mask their true intentions, under a cloak of pseudo-religious deception.
This causes people to mistrust, doubt, and to dispel what the Bible has to say about evil. However, if you do not take the Bible out of context, and do not use it to abuse power, there is much wisdom and insight to be gleaned from the Bible. There is also prophecy to help describe, and warn us about the scenarios we might come across, especially during the end times.
Thankfully, the jury did do a sincere public service by diligently examining all the evidence put forth. If they did end up without a verdict, or an acquittal, it would mean she would have been able to carry on working as a nurse. Perish the thought!
In recognizing the existence of evil, we do not dispute the existence of good. The Bible does say we are like the wheat and the tares, living and growing alongside each other. We don’t have to become totally cynical or paranoid, just vigilant and aware.
Hospital administrators need to step up, and take responsibility for addressing concerns brought forth. They don’t want to believe it could happen. They are going to face much criticism, and wish they had responded in a more timely fashion. They need to stop the denial, and put policies in place to protect the patients.
Since the days of Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit, we have been thrust into the knowledge of both good and of evil.
One thing I did notice in many of the comments surrounding the Lucy Letby case, is that nurses, midwives, and those with knowledge of a hospital setting, believed there was serious wrongdoing without any rational explanations.
However, many of the lay people who made comments did not understand, and could not see why a nurse would do these things, therefore she cannot possibly be guilty.
As we all know, there is a fine line between innocence until proven guilty, and guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. No one wants to see someone be wrongfully convicted. But in this case, there were many unexplained collapses, combined with multiple mechanisms of injury. There is simply no way those things could have happened by accident.
I think Lucy Letby had knowledge, and evil intentions, but also lacked the experience to know that suddencollapses normally do have explanations. Things like infections, failure to thrive, congenital anomalies, heart defects etc. can, and do cause deaths. But the key difference is – those deaths are explainable.
But babies who are premature, and do not have conditions that would lead to sudden collapse, do not just die for no apparent reason. Letby seemed to think it would all be chalked up to prematurity and bad luck.
She is a classic case of where a little bit of knowledge in the wrong brain, can do a great deal of harm. She lacked both experience, and compassion, even though she was cunning and devious. She got a thrill out of all the drama she created.
When I refer to end times as described in the Bible, I am not referring to end times, as revolving around doomsday prophecy. But rather, it is the period of time that has been unfolding gradually over the past two thousand years, and intensifying as we get closer to the final chapters.
In Timothy chapter 3 verse 1-4 we are given some forewarning of what to expect. It’s not a reference to madness, but rather a state of mind for some, with sinister undertones, and widespread repercussions for those who fall victim to such individuals.
We would be wise to take heed, and to recognize there is evil in this world. There is much deception surrounding evil, often masquerading as good, or harmless, or trustworthy. Vigilance is required now more than ever before. Children need to be protected.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
When we look back at times of rapid societal change, no other time in recent history, was as wild as the jazz era turned out to be. Also known as the roaring twenties, and the flapper era – they let loose without much restraint.
It came about during a post war rebellion, and desire to break free of the prim, and often stifling structures of the Victorian era. During this time, radio and film began to emerge as a primary influence, so the music as well as the glamour, became far reaching, and spread like a prairie wildfire. The winds of change brought about a whirlwind of excess, dancing, partying, drinking, opiates, barbiturates and outright revolt.
As much as things change, human nature seems to be quite predictable. If people are stifled and oppressed, it is followed by a break out phase. If not taken to excess, it could be almost therapeutic, and redefining. But sadly, it has a dark side.
One thing for certain is that the 1920’s brought about some of the most creative expressions in music, fashion, film, architecture, and all other forms of art. Their disinhibition did not have a disregard for detail. Quite the opposite in fact.
We have heard a great deal about freedom lately. Few things capture the concept better than creativity without boundaries, because the imagination, when applied to some kind of medium, or form, can churn itself into dizzying accomplishments. But the letting loose of rules and constraints is not without its perils.
Too much freedom has a downside, and perhaps there is no greater example of this than what can be found in the life and writings of F. Scott Fitzgerald. He not only captured this era, he also lived it, so he knew what he was talking about.
When you read his biography, it becomes a bit more sad and sobering. He and his rich, spoiled, creative and flamboyantly artistic wife Zelda, partied like there was no tomorrow. It is quite incredible how he managed to write as much as he did.
The couple became associated with the introduction of the flapper era, and were also dubbed as the “enfants terribles” of the Jazz Age in the various newspapers.
Even though they lived a rich life of excess, they faced many trials and hardships. They got kicked out of numerous hotels, did outrageous things at parties, moved multiple times, and before long, Zelda was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. She was treated at various facilities, and by the time she was in her thirties, was permanently institutionalized.
Fitzgerald remained married to her, and continued to write to her until his death, even though he was living with another woman. He too, was plagued with addiction and substance abuse. He drank copiously throughout his life. He tried rehab often, and relapsed at least eight times.
Then he attempted to cure his gin habit by switching to beer, and drank forty to fifty bottles of beer each day. In addition, he took barbiturates, and choral hydrate to sleep. By the time he was in his early forties, he had cardiomyopathy, and could not walk up a flight of stairs.
F. Scott Fitzgerald died at the age of forty four of a heart attack. He became known as one of the greatest American writers, who captured the era, because in many ways, his stories were autobiographical.
Apparently, his father was also an alcoholic, so it points to a genetic vulnerability that he probably did not fully acknowledge during his lifetime.
The 1920’s was a time of opulence and excess, paradoxically tied to prohibition. Fitzgerald rubbed shoulders with many other famous writers, to include Ernest Hemingway, and Gertrude Stein.
Ernest Hemingway was another writer who was plagued with mental health disorders, and was said to have never met a martini he didn’t like. He developed paranoid delusions and bipolar disorder. His friendship with Fitzgerald did not last.
The struggles brought about by addiction, are not always known or documented in the lives of those who are less famous. But it is no less tragic, regardless of whose lives fall into the unhealthy spiral, and cycle of addiction. The outcome is evident, and becomes more and more obvious with the deterioration of both physical and mental health.
The famous writers give us a glimpse of reality, because not only do they lay bare their inmost thoughts to the world, but their lives, and struggles became a part of public knowledge.
They could not hide their demons, as they came out into the open, and pranced about at cocktail parties. Their antics also found their way to the pages of gossip columns, to be salaciously recorded for all time.
Of all the things we can learn about the various eras, upheaval, and times of rapid societal change and rebellion, we can see human nature in all of its nakedness, and the wretchedness of excess.
Poverty brings one set of problems, and excess brings another. Sometimes the two intermingle. Countless lives of famous writers, musicians and creatives, went down the tumultuous path of addiction.
Today, as I write this, we are no different, and many of us are just as vulnerable. More and more people fall into the depths of addiction, and unlike Hemingway and Fitzgerald, they are largely unknown. Their struggles are not documented, other than in the memories of those who loved them.
I think one of the takeaways when we study the historical writings and biographies of famous people, we can know that addiction is not only for the homeless, or the hobos, or those who are judged to be lesser human beings.
But rather it has no respecter of persons, and can grab ahold of, and lock anyone into its’ grip. It does not matter how rich, brilliant, talented, or creative one is. On the flip side of the coin, it also does not matter how poor, wretched, or downtrodden a person is.
For unknown reasons, for some people, there is a vulnerability, leading to a profound difficulty in overcoming the cycle of addiction.
The Jazz era was reckless and wild. The historical depiction of addiction, is something to look back on, as well as to give us an opportunity to reflect, to understand, to have compassion for, and to try to figure out how to avoid the loss of life associated with addiction.
At the core, there is a sadness, a void, and an attempt to fill that void with the wrong remedy. Yet once the cycle has begun, it is like the person has been hijacked.
I know many will say, “no one told a person to drink or party, or do drugs.” That’s true. Others rigidly adhere to the concept of taking responsibility for oneself, which is also true.
However, for those who do not have the propensity for addiction, they do not understand it is like being grabbed by a crocodile. Every time you try to get a breath, it drags you down and rolls you over again. The mind understands it is a death trap, but the will cannot wrestle it into submission.
This problem goes back to the beginning of time. In my opinion, it is only by the grace of God that we can escape addiction. We are prone to stumbling. We cannot see what is within us, to show us the way out.
Surely for the afflicted, there has to be a way out. Paradoxically, addiction is based on an attempt to escape painful emotions, but it becomes a self inflicted prison instead.
For those who are prone to addiction, due to genetics, prior trauma, neurochemistry, the lack of a shut off valve of some sort, the loss of control – whatever the reason, it is a death trap. They don’t deserve it. No one does.
Ironically, highly addictive people are often highly productive and creative, as the story about the lives of people like Hemingway, Fitzgerald, numerous musicians, and countless others can attest to.
If only the way to the exit was better lit. Not the exit out of this life, but rather the exit out of the addiction, as it continues to rob and drain the lifeblood of so many people.
If we manage to find the truth, we also see the light. Finally we can discern, there is just one door we should be knocking on. We are spiritual beings. Addiction, perhaps more than any other struggle known to humans, is a spiritual battle.
One way or another, eventually the yoke is off, and the burden is removed. In my opinion, we will never fully comprehend it.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Arts & Crafts movement emerged in England in the late 1800’s as a form of resistance to the mass production of lesser quality products, due to the first industrial revolution. The movement was preceded by the writings of influential writers, designers, and art critics.
Art critic John Ruskin, and his many followers, were convinced that the rapid advancement of industrialization had adverse effects on society and the arts in general. He believed it alienated labour, was dehumanizing, and created a gulf between the designer and the manufacturer.
They also believed this caused a widespread reduction of quality of workmanship, and artistic achievement. As a result of the writings, and influential followers of this movement, they advocated to unite all the arts within the decoration of the home especially, with an emphasis on nature, quality of workmanship, and simplicity of form.
By the early 1900’s the movement had spread to the US, and took on a life of its own. It was not as pervasive as it was in Britain, however the British influence was promoted for awhile throughout the US, but did not develop the full scope of socialist underpinnings. They focused on furnishings, pottery, metalwork, woodwork, and bookbinding.
In the US urban areas, the socialist aspect of the experimentation was geared toward offering young women education in craftwork and simplicity, as it applied to various decorative works. Quality of design was the cornerstone. By 1908 Paul Revere pottery in Boston was offering women the opportunity to earn a good wage in the community.
Newcomb pottery in New Orleans was part of an educational advancement for women using local flora and fauna as inspiration for designs in pottery, metalwork, textiles and jewelry. When it came to jewelry, natural stones were chosen carefully for their unique features, and were noted for promoting “truth to materials”.
Soon these creative entrepreneurs were teaching china painting, and one well known artisan Marie Zimmerman, began to expand, and take inspirations from foreign cultures abroad, such as Greece and Asia. The movement diversified into silversmiths, and many other handmade items.
Roseville pottery was introduced in Ohio around 1890. They made a wide range of pottery designs between 1904 until their closure in 1954. This pottery surpassed the Arts & Crafts movement, as it carried on for thirty years after the Arts & Crafts movement died down in the 1920’s.
To summarize the progression of things, and why it is applicable in today’s world: The first industrial revolution began in 1784 with steam, water, and mechanical production equipment.
The second industrial revolution began in 1870, with the division of labour, electricity and a trend toward mass production (which in turn, led to the Arts & Craft movement).
The third industrial revolution is said to have begun in 1969, with electronics, IT, and automated production.
That brings us to the introduction of the fourth industrial revolution, which is promoted extensively by the World Economic Forum.
This is a fluid concept, and is far less tangible than the previous industrial revolutions. It is very much tied to AI, robotics, connectivity through mobile devices, digital technology, knowledge, and rapid advancement in all these areas. It fuels changes to the various global systems; from business, to manufacturing, to banking, to the labour market, and to governance.
There is no historical precedent, and apparently it is developing exponentially, therefore unlike the steam train, and the Arts & Crafts movement, there is no linear pathway, to track this development.
Although technological advancement has many advantages, it also disrupts the various labour markets. The changes are rapid, growing in multiple directions, and geared toward the restructuring of all systems on a global level. What could possibly go wrong?
When the Arts & Crafts movement began, its grassroots concepts were founded, and developed within the context of the social anxieties caused by rapid industrialization.
The current fourth industrial revolution, by their own WEF admission, is a rampant development. This in turn leads to social anxiety.
Therefore, I think it is entirely possible that people will gravitate toward what is tangible, what is utilitarian, and what things worked in the past to develop labour markets, diversity and trade. These are the simpler things in life, and much easier to grasp hold of.
As a tongue in cheek metaphor on the need for a resurgence of some of the past concepts, to help quell the anxieties resulting from rapid mass industrialization, maybe we need to slow down.
If we turn toward something we can take hold of, and pour out, in a more relaxed, and tangible manner, we can look back, and realize our ancestors also went through rapid industrialization. It caused them to take a step back, and reevaluate, from a more philosophical point of view.
The following simple Roseville pottery jug from the early 20th century, has a form, and function, that can remind us about tangible things, in order to keep us grounded during tumultuous times of rapid change.
We can appreciate technology, but you cannot get a glass of iced tea out of AI or ChatGPT, to cool your senses in a heat wave.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Anyone who has worked in a hospital for a period of time, has seen some strange and unexpected things. Fortunately most of the health care workers are ethical, and worry more about harming a patient accidentally, as opposed to contriving diabolical and murderous schemes.
It is not unusual to see mistakes being made, for to err is human, and many health care workers are working long hours, often on little sleep. Mistakes get made when people are tired, burnt out, distracted, or lack experience in a certain area. Often mistakes are made because the proper systems are not in place to prevent errors.
Those who work in hospitals become aware of staff conflicts, affairs, petty grievances, and bizarre events with psych patients, or unruly admissions at 3 am in the emergency departments. It is all part of the job.
But those poor people who worked at the hospital in the UK alongside Lucy Letby, had far more to be concerned about. What happened there takes things to a whole new level of stress for those involved.
Of all the patients a doctor or nurse ever encounters, the most vulnerable, and the tiniest, most innocent, of all human beings, are the premature babies. When I worked in LDR, the greatest fear was having to resuscitate a one and half, to two pound premature baby. Oftentimes your two hands are almost as big as they are.
Everything about them is miniature. Their stomachs are hardly bigger than a walnut to begin with. Their lungs are tiny. Their veins are the size of dental floss. They have monitors, central lines, ventilators, nasogastric tubes, and heat regulated incubators, all of which have to be watched like a hawk.
Yet, like any other infant, they need ordinary care and gentle human touch. They need to be changed, washed, fed, and have close contact with their parents, and caregivers. Many of them are incredibly resilient, and spunky in spite of it all. If they can be stabilized, they can thrive and catch up.
I knew a nurse whose grandmother was one of a set of triplets. All three were girls. Two of them were identical twins, yet to look at pictures of them, they all looked identical. They looked like perfect clones of each other.
They were born in Scotland in the late 1800’s, and each was said to have weighed about two pounds. At the time, they were handled with common sense, because they did not go to a NICU. They were put on the bun warmer of a wood burning stove, and fed with an eyedropper to begin with.
All three lived to their late 90’s, and the house they grew up in became known for decades to follow, as the triplet house. Apparently, no one could tell them apart.
In one of the hospitals I worked at, there was one naturally born set of triplets born there in the 1950’s. The picture of the happy family was displayed on the wall in the LDR for many years.
As it turned out, those triplets on the wall, also had their babies at the same hospital years later. It was quite a thrill to see them grown up, since their picture had been on the wall, and only the oldest nurses who worked there remembered the background story, and details of their birth.
Twins are fairly common, but in the absence of fertility treatments, triplets are really quite rare. Many midwives, nurses, and doctors who work in LDR can go through their entire careers without seeing a set of triplets come through.
The jury is out following a lengthy murder trial involving Lucy Letby, a neonatal intensive care nurse in the UK. She was a fairly new grad when it all began. She is now thirty-three years old, but the initial suspicions, and police investigation began several years ago, when she was in her mid-twenties.
She took a post basic certification in neonatal intensive care nursing, which gave her a higher band level in the hierarchy of the nursing profession. It qualified her to work with the sickest babies. The hospital did have some basic protocols regarding what they could and could not handle there, so they shipped babies who were very sick or premature to a more advanced tertiary care centre. From the exchanges of texts with her co-workers, she seemed to think this certification made her vastly superior when it came to the assignments she expected. She made frequent reference to the incompetency of others.
It did not come up in the court transcripts that there had been a significant change in the number of high acuity beds in the hospital she worked at. Nor was there any clear evidence the hospital changed its policies, and kept babies they previously shipped out. So in spite of claims about the acuity being higher, the years in question, with the huge spike in deaths and adverse events, was not related to any significant change in hospital protocols for that particular NICU.
As far as staffing levels, as it is with most hospitals, they were busy, with a lot of available overtime. However, if one nurse works extra shifts, it does not explain how she can be the common denominator in all of the adverse events. There are many full time staff members on a busy ward, and it is common for some of them to pick up extra shifts.
The babies who were targeted were triplets, twins, and single births. Most were premature, but one of them was near term, and was admitted because of an infection. One of them was a hundred days old, and the parents were looking forward to finally taking the baby home.
So, it’s not as if all the victims were so precarious, they could collapse at any moment. Some of them were quite stable. Their sudden demise was a devastating shock, with no explanation or forewarning.
The time frame of the large increase in baby deaths, and unexpected collapses on that particular unit, happened in 2015 – 2016. After the police investigation was launched, she was arrested twice, then got out on bail. The third time she was arrested, they did not let her out, so she has been incarcerated for a couple of years at least, maybe more.
I don’t think many people are envying the job of the jury. They listened to months and months of evidence from doctors, co-workers, police interviews, communications between Letby and co-workers via text, and social media such as WhatsApp. They heard the agonizing testimonies of parents of the babies who had been under her care, and the details of what happened to them.
There was a couple thousand FaceBook searches to evaluate. They also had to wade through pages and pages of notes, patient charts, lab work, and hospital handover sheets, as well as the diary and distorted, haphazard notes Letby wrote, that were piled up in her own residence.
She wrote post it notes, creating a collage, and jumble of sinister words. To many, they were interpreted as a confession. Yet there was also a mixture of denial, and confusion expressed as well, so how does anyone interpret the meaning of those words? Regardless of whether the admissions are taken seriously or not, one thing for certain, is they demonstrated a jumble of disjointed, and distressing thought processes.
You would think such distortions of thought processes, would have been evident in the charting she did at work, but the days of narrative nurses notes are long gone. Most of what is charted in modern day nursing, is simply signatures for medication administration, fluid balance sheets, graphs to chart vital signs, and any significant observations etc. Therefore, in the absence of writing any kind of cohesive narrative in the nurses notes, it would be much more difficult to pick up on distorted thought processes.
Writing is a reflection of thought processes. In addition to speech, it is how we communicate. If it does not make sense, it should be a red flag, when it comes to those assigned to roles involving complex care of children, and neonates. Even the many text messages she exchanged were more like fishing expeditions. Fishing for sympathy, fishing for attention, fishing for compliments, as well as an attempt to control the narrative.
The hospital notes, and handover sheets are supposed to be left at the hospital for shredding after each shift, but for unknown reasons, she took hundreds of pages of random papers home with her.
It is absolutely mind boggling. After listening to many of the court transcripts, in my opinion, it is clear that someone was causing intentional harm on the ward. There is no way insulin could get put into a TPN bag accidentally.
It is also highly unlikely that infants who are stable, thriving, and in some cases, ready for discharge, would suddenly go into respiratory or cardiac arrest. Things do not happen out of the blue, without an explanation. Perhaps she was too naive, and inexperienced as a nurse to know that much. You can’t just chalk everything up to bad luck, when you are dealing with human lives.
If you are standing at the bedside, or monitoring and observing a sick patient for hours on end, you will notice if there is a problem, long before they go into a cardiac arrest. Even if there is a rapid deterioration, there are warning signs. So for two babies of a set of triplets, and a set of twins to die suddenly, and without warning, begs an explanation.
There were also cases where another nurse went on her break, leaving Letby to watch over a stable infant for an hour, or even as little as fifteen minutes. They would return from the break, or the errand, to find the previously stable infant in a catastrophic collapse.
Initially when I heard the various podcasters make claims about Letby having an affair with a doctor, I thought it was irrelevant. But – it appears it was relevant. Because they introduced it as evidence, and also as a motive, because the prosecution believed she was keen to summon the doctor to her side, so they could “work together”. It was believed she orchestrated the crisis to get close to the doctor, on at least some of the occasions.
Afterwards, she would share long texts back and forth with the doctor, seeking reassurance, and sympathy for what she had to deal with. Now I can’t help but wonder what has happened to his life, in the aftermath of it all? What a chaotic mess it has brought to the reputation of the married doctor, the other doctors, nurses, admin, and the ward in general.
She also had other friends among her co-workers who she texted back and forth with, socialized with, and carried on about all the drama on the ward. She worked full time, worked a ton of overtime, and when she was off, was constantly texting, and meddling in all the affairs of the ward. When she said her job was her life, she wasn’t kidding.
The number of lives impacted cannot even be measured. Whatever the outcome, there is no going back to normal for any of the people involved. The trust in the system, the trust in the nursing staff and hospital, and the stress upon the doctors and nurses who testified, must be astronomical. Some of those babies whose lives were nearly snuffed out during the NICU ward reign of terror, are now seven years old.
One of the things that really stood out to me, was some of the language she used. Or at least it was language that was read out during the trial, when the various text messages between co-workers were divulged.
I realize language, especially slang terminology, differs from country to country. But I can honestly say in all of the years I worked in hospitals, I never heard a nurse or doctor describe a patient as looking like “rubbish”.
In Canadian terms, it would be more likely to be “garbage”. While listening to the trial, I heard the term rubbish used several times, and if I heard it correctly, and in the context it was presented, it confirms in my mind, how those who abuse power will dehumanize their victims.
In hospitals, there is definitely some dark humour, bad language, and things not meant to be repeated. So I guess this trial, will be a lesson for today’s technological world, in that what is put into a text, WhatsApp, emails, etc. does not simply go up in vapour, as private conversations do.
However, as far as describing a patient’s condition, I have heard patients described as looking very ill, limp, pale, non-responsive, gasping, anxious, demanding, combative, and various other adjectives. Sometimes difficult patients were called manipulative, but even that was frowned upon.
I never once heard of a patient, or a ward referred to as garbage. I suppose the closest thing to it would be when there are a lot of management problems, and conflicts, causing people to refer to it as a toxic workplace. But toxic refers to a poisoned environment, and is understood to be related to the culture, such as a culture of bullying. It is still not garbage, in the sense most of us think of garbage. Garbage has no value. It’s to be disposed of.
The period of time for all of the allegations, was concentrated over a time span of about two years. Ten of the babies lived through the ordeals, and at least one of them ended up with severe brain damage and lifelong disabilities. Who knows what the long term effects on all of them might be?
If what was presented during the trial is true, with many of the babies attacked more than once, it is almost like a case of torture. The concept of force feeding large amounts of milk and air through a nasogastric tube, or injecting boluses of air intravenously, or putting a person into insulin shock, as well as using an instrument to cause bleeding in the throat, are things we cannot fathom being done to an adult, much less a tiny neonate.
If those allegations are true, I can honestly say, we have no hope of ever understanding why anyone would do such things. Some of her own handwritten post-it notes, touched upon her own mindset. Once the trial and verdict is all over with, there will be laser focus on some of the evidence that was presented. Because when all the speculation is over and done with, the nitty gritty bits of raw truth will rise to the surface.
The trauma for the families, as they sat through the trial, must have been heart wrenching. Many of them had to testify as to the events leading up to the attacks, and near misses on their child. Others did not get to take their child home, and sat through the trial, listening to the evidence, and what was believed to have taken place.
In Eastern Canada many years ago, there was a huge investigation over four baby deaths on one ward. The nurse in question was ultimately exonerated. Initially they believed infants had been poisoned with digoxin. However it was later established that there were other explanations for the high levels of digoxin in their blood. That case garnered one of the biggest murder investigations in Canadian history.
However, in the Letby case, there were far more adverse events, with more victims, and more than just one mechanism of injury. The two cases are not even comparable, even though both cases led to protracted murder investigations, with a nurse as the primary suspect.
I do recall reading about a case in the US, where a respiratory technician was intentionally giving patients boluses of air. He was eventually charged and convicted. He killed a number of adults who had the misfortune of crossing paths with him.
Part of the difficulty in making the diagnosis, is that air embolus through an IV tubing is quite rare, especially in a NICU, so it is not something the neonatologists would normally see.
The IV tubing for all high acuity patients, is run through a pump that is very sensitive to even tiny air bubbles, and will sound an alarm if there is air in the line. If a central line is being put in, the tubing is always primed first, so all precautions are in place, when it comes to air in IV tubing.
In the case of adults, a few bubbles of air would be quickly absorbed, and would be of little consequence. In the case of a tiny premature infant, it would not take that much air to cause a stroke, heart attack or respiratory arrest. But the big question is, how could it happen?
How could insulin get added to IV bags? No one would ever do that, unless they were intentionally out to harm a patient. It is sabotage of the worst kind.
When you think of the fact a nurse in the US was charged with homicide for making a medication error that killed a patient, she was not even in the same orbit of wrongdoing; not even close, compared to someone who would intentionally tamper with IV bags, and intentionally cause air emboli.
In the case of the nurse who made the medication error, even the family had sympathy for her, as she was overwhelmed with remorse. She made a mistake, and even though she bypassed some basic safety checks, she did not intend to harm the patient. She was in a rush, distracted, and did an over ride on the medication system, which was apparently something many nurses did where she worked.
Who knows what the outcome will be on the NICU trial? But whatever the outcome, there will be a loss of trust for a long time. How does a facility screen for disordered individuals? How could they have screened her out, when she was a young, keen, fresh faced new grad? No one would have dreamt that hiring her would have led to murder.
According to evidence given during the trial, doctors raised concerns with the Director of Nursing months before anything was done. They then took it to a higher level of administration, and never got a reply for another three months.
The first action taken was to remove her from night shift, because there was a spike in adverse events during the nights shifts when she was working. There is less supervision on night shift, and fewer people around to respond to the collapses as they are called in the UK. In Canada they are called Codes.
The next action taken, when the high rate of adverse events continued to be linked to her conduct at work, they removed her from the ward, and gave her an assignment involving clerical duties. She was not happy about the reassignment and filed a grievance. It is difficult to understand why she did not clue in to the gravity of her situation.
Many people surmise based on what developed there, followed by the trial with a global audience, will lead to changes. They suggest there will be CTV cameras put up at every bedside. But the trouble is that if a person cannot be trusted, they should not be there.
Nurses are always flushing IV’s, adding medications to IV bags, and tubing, and do many tasks that cannot easily be monitored or even seen. If someone really wants to do harm, they can surreptitiously add a drug, without charting it. How easy is it to see on a camera, whether or not there is saline in a syringe – or air?
One of the key lessons from the entire saga, will likely be the recognition of the need for a protocol of some sort to follow, as soon as suspicions arise. There were four doctors who expressed concerns for months, before Lucy Letby was taken out of the NICU, and no longer given access to vulnerable babies. The hospital administration was initially reluctant to do an investigation. In my opinion, one of the central issues, was the reluctance to investigate.
How many people in a hospital setting believe they should be trained in investigative police work? How many even know when the line has been crossed? It is probably something people should be educated about, because otherwise the denial is so prevalent and ingrained, it places more and more patients at risk. More harm is done, even though the red flags have been setting off alarm bells for months, and sometimes for years.
One of the main issues, is that people do not recognize abnormal psychology. We tend to assume other people think the way we do. Most nurses are caring, and ethical, therefore it is easy to assume all nurses must be trustworthy and caring. In reality, many nurses are highly ethical, others are just there for the job, and a small minority could care less.
The truth of the matter is that all professions have the occasional rogue. The higher the stress levels, or the more opportunities there are, for the aberrant characters to get through the system, the longer it goes on. It has been know to happen in police forces, and within the educational system as well. Churches too. I think most of these situations progress through a series of steps.
The first steps, with all destructive behaviours, is when the person who wields power, abuses power. They do so because they place their own interests, whether it is financial gain, attention, self exaltation, or control and dominance – over and above all else. They use the victims as a means to advance a selfish agenda. They do not comprehend the boundaries crossed, when they have a conflict of self interest that leads to an abuse of power.
The following steps, involve a high level of deception and manipulation. A person who abuses power is self exalted, and deluded about their own importance. They play God, but in the most pathetic way imaginable. They have too much pride to recognize the error of their ways. They view cunning and deviousness, as being brilliant and clever.
Another symptom of those who seek to harm and abuse others, is that they will target a certain individual, or a certain type of individual. They are like sharks, and to them, vulnerability is like blood in the water. It draws them. They get excited, because they know they can overcome their victim.
When you think about it, in the case of all predators, they will single out a certain person who is vulnerable. They may feign caring, or pretend the victim is special. They may have delusions about their relationship to the victim. They want to create some kind of bond. I believe it is the reason so many of them take souvenirs, or make claims of deeply caring about the victim. They fabricate a warped attachment, for very strange reasons. In reality, they only care about themselves. The victim is an object, to serve the ego of an apex predator.
Their superiority allows them to pull strings, and make things happen, according to their own hidden agenda. Not all these behaviours lead to murder. But they do lead to victimization, and damages to the professions, or institutions they work for.
Of all places for harmful actions toward others, one is least likely to be suspicious of a baby nurse. After all, she is not carrying a gun, or doing raids on crack houses. She is not in a high ranking corporate or political role. In fact, traditionally, she is supposed to follow orders, and work within a tightly constrained, task oriented role.
The worry for many who work in hospitals, if they see questionable conduct, is in making a false accusation, or worse yet, becoming the target of one. Plus all people with a grain of humility recognize they too, can make mistakes. Competency is more of an issue, because criminal conduct is not the norm, therefore denial can cause people to overlook what is atypical behaviour.
There is a need to avoid falling into the practice of witch hunts, and finding scapegoats for squabbles, staffing issues, and oddball personality types. So it is easier to deny and avoid going down all such rabbit holes, than it is to confront a problematic staff member, and seek an in-depth enquiry.
The spike in adverse events and deaths without a plausible explanation, understandably started to raise alarms. When they put two and two together, and found they were linked to a certain individual, it raised suspicions even more. And there was more, so much more…
In my opinion, anytime a person who is in a professional role, and takes an abnormal interest in a certain assignment involving a child, a vulnerable person, or their family – it is a big red flag. If they seek contact outside of their professional role, it is a also a red flag.
If they try to create a long term bond, or “special” relationship, it is another big red flag. They are setting the stage for victimization. They are in a conflict of interest. If a professional is violating boundaries, it is one of the first clues authorities should be aware of, and should be addressed immediately. If a predatory person gets away with pushing past boundaries, they will go to the next step. A person who will not respect boundaries, can become quite dangerous. Once they have a foot in the door, there are no limits.
Just as professionals are not supposed to seek romantic or sexual relationships with patients or students, they should also be bound by standards of professional conduct, not to seek any kind of “delusional relationship”.
They do not “love” their patient or student. They are not in a “special” relationship with a patient or student. If they think so, they are likely victimizing the person, and are also delusional as to the parameters, or truth of the relationship they contrive.
If there is a special relationship, the victim should be given every opportunity to tell their side of the story. Oftentimes, the abuse of power entraps the victim, and no one will listen to them or support them. There should never be an assumption of blind trust, just because someone holds a professional title.
If they are trusted regardless of all the red flags, it means the victim or victims have no recourse. They get intimidated, threatened, dehumanized, and punished for telling the truth of how the relationship came to be what it is. It enables a facade and extension of the initial victimization to go on and on. Therefore, a long term victimization is possible, with countless re-victimizations, scapegoating and victim blaming. All organizations overseeing children, have an obligation to protect those children.
All professionals should maintain boundaries, and treat all patients, students, etc. in an unbiased, neutral way. They may like some of their clients or subjects more than others, but they should be professional enough to deliver the service in a non-prejudicial manner. So for all professions, one of the first warning signs is when someone in a professional role has an unexplained interest, obsession with, or desire to make connections outside their workplace.
For all those who abuse power, and seem to think a professional designation or title, or money, or status, can cover a litany of wrongdoing, they are living in a delusional and warped reality. Deception is not sustainable.
When self becomes the monument, self becomes the destroyer of self. Monuments are made of stone, concrete, metal or wood. They have no heart. Many monuments are created as gravesite markers. Therefore, any person who turns their own selfishness, into an object of exaltation and worship, is actually destroying their own soul.
Hospital staff throughout the UK must be waiting for the verdict with bated breath. The jury must be exhausted. I don’t know if any of them have medical backgrounds, but regardless, the number of cases, and adverse events, is more than any trial I have ever heard about in my lifetime. It is especially gripping when it is a trial involving a professional in a hospital environment. The jury has a monumental job to do. In most murder trials, they just have one victim to seek justice for.
Let’s hope they find the wisdom and clarity to be able to follow it through, untangle the web, and figure it out. When this is over, they all deserve a vacation, and some lengthy spa treatments. No doubt they got immersed in a hospital education that surpasses what most people can even imagine.
When health care, and medicine cross over into an incredible and convoluted legal challenge, few things could be more dizzyingly complicated.
How many hours will they end up deliberating? It is anyone’s guess. I am going to take a wild guess and say 108 hours. The reason I am making this guess is because I think they would deliberate for about three weeks, in order to cover seventeen cases. So if a work week is generally 36 hours, three weeks would be 108 hours.
Like all people who have followed this case, I hope and pray the jury comes through with the right decision. Perhaps when the dust settles, the polices can be put into place to help protect the innocent, and above all, the healing can begin, for those who were directly affected by the stress of it all.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
As it is with the fascination for all things that are old, jewelry, especially if made of glass beads, or organic materials, is something that can be hundreds, and even thousands of years old.
Often jewelry items are the most likely to be saved, and passed down, primarily because it is easy to transport, and store jewelry and beads. These items can be kept in families forcenturies, until someone dies, and the grandchildren have no interest in it. Then it gets sold, and picked up by those who do have an interest in it.
Often when it gets sold, it is mixed in with a range of other costume jewelry, and there is no time to sort it when organizing estate sales. Also, there is a great deal of research involved to delve into it all. You have to have the interest, or it would be like me collecting nuts and bolts, of which I certainly have no interest in.
Whatever the reasons for its widespread travel and age, jewelry provides a rich insight into the adornment used in different cultures since the beginning of time. The many types of trade beads made their way around the world, since those trade routes were established, and are still circulating today.
When going though a large collection, the top two categories, are differentiating between what is organic, and what is man-made.
Man made jewelry has sub categories of glass and plastics. Glass can be as valuable, or even more valuable than many gemstones.
Under the glass category, there is much to be learned. Famous glass and bead makers have their origins in Italy, Venice, Czechoslovakia, England, Austria, Germany, France, and Africa. In Egypt they date back to 1365 BC and are considered to be the oldest, or the first, to start using the various glass making techniques.
Much of the glass making history is shrouded in secrecy. The techniques and trade secrets among glass makers were carefully guarded, and passed down from one generation to another. Anyone who left the industry, orthreatened to share the secrets would be hunted down and killed.
In addition, there is significant history stemming from the Soviet held countries, where the secrets of the techniques were never made public.
As far as antiquity is concerned, Lebanon also contributed to glass making. Although most of us think of antiquity as coming strictly from Venice, Venice is known as the “mother of modern beads”, which goes back to 1224 AD! We normally don’t think of 1200 AD as being modern. It helps to put into perspective just how ancient some of the glass beads are.
The reason the glass factories in Venice were moved to the island of Murano is because they feared that if there was a fire caused by the furnaces used to make the molten glass, it could burn the entire city of Venice down.
For around two hundred years the primary technique was called winding, where a gob of molten glass was wound around an iron rod to create the shape. Since glass is not naturally coloured, they would have to add theother elements to give it colour. Cobalt created the blue beads, copper made them green, tin made them white, and gold made them red.
Winding was not the only technique used. They also made beads out of blown glass, where they would create the shape by blowing through a glass rod. Another method was to press the glass, leaving ridges in the shape.
All of this type of glass making was before the 1400’s. When global trade began, through the shipping channels, Venetian glass beads were taken along and used for trade. It opened new doors for the industry. So beads got a trans-world status, and before long the slower methods of winding glass beads could not keep up with demand.
When demand increased they began the art of drawing beads, which involved the use of a long rod. The molten glass was formed around the rod, then cut into lengths, and then beads. This too, is quite the process, involving many chemicals and steps. Interestingly, they polished them by tumbling them in bran.
From the art of drawing beads, as demand increased, other countries got involved in the industry by the 1600’s, to include Czech, Holland, France, England and Sweden. In almost all cases, the techniques used were drawn from the Venetian guilds.
Bohemia soon became a centre for production, because they had the resources needed to mass produce this type of glass. They had plenty of quartz, which is used as the silica base for glass, labourers who were willing to work the hot furnaces, and wood to fire the furnaces. Potash is also used in glass making, and when used as a byproduct of wood burning, it did not have to be mined. Apparently by the late 1800’s Bohemia was making more glass than the Venetian guilds.
Also, apparently the American Indians preferred the Bohemian glass beads, so they became more valuable for trade.
Antique glass beads fall into categories of camphor glass, vauxhall glass, Murano glass, Bristol glass, French jet, opaline glass, depression glass, and uranium glass. Then there is all the hand painting and decorating to consider such as in wedding cake beads, which is a sub-category of Murano glass beads.
When it comes to plastics, there is bakelite, celluloid, lucite, catalin, galalith, and various other types of resin. In the 1920’s Chanel brought galalith plastic to the level of chic, by posting ads showing the little black dress accessorized with galalith plastic costume jewelry.
In addition Jakob Bengel incorporated galalith plastics into his art deco machine art designs. Bakelite also gained in popularity for costume jewelry, and was carved, colourful, and often used in whimsical pieces.
Like glass, not all plastic is created equal, and some of the vintage and antique plastics are now quite valuable. The days of considering all plastic jewelry to be junk, are long gone.
That brings us to the organic materials, which has so much to learn about, I can only scratch the surface. There is the whole range of coloured gemstones, which is one my my main areas of interest.
Shell, bone, and horn has been used since antiquity, even before the glass makers got started. Coral, ivory, amber, pearls and wood have also been used for ages, to include petrified wood and fossils.
In addition, many types of nuts and seeds were used in jewelry making throughout the ages. And in some cases, teeth of large animals have been used, as well as antlers. People are most certainly creative, and always have been.
Therefore once you define something as being organic, the next step is, but what is it? The difference between ivory and bone can be differentiated because bone has a blood supply, therefore you can see tiny dark dots on bone that are not visible on ivory.
One of the items that had me stymied is a necklace made of hair pipe beads. These can be made of many different organic materials, and were most often used by the Aboriginals. Many of them are made of buffalo bone. I should have guessed the necklace in the link below was of Aboriginal origin because they often use red and black in combination.
I knew the necklace was not porcupine quills because I grew up on a farm in Alberta, and saw a fair number of porcupine quills – mostly in the dog’s nose!
I knew some of the beads were bone, and have since looked up the other hair pipe necklaces online, and see that many of them are in the same colour range. Bone can be dyed through various techniques.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
“The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.” ― George Orwell.
This is a true statement, and will hold its’ truth for all things, both good and bad, material and non-material, for all time; and for the immaterial, for all eternity. Orwell had a deeper understanding than most people do.
How many times have we heard how devastating it is for certain cultures of people, to deny what happened to them? The denial is considered to be as bad as the original abuse. It has been widely recognized that denial of historical abuse and persecution, is a re-victimization.
Gaslighting has been recognized as a crime in Canada, and many other countries.
All cultures and all families have a mixture of good and evil. But few things are more evil than denying the truth of a person’s history and identity.
If someone can take over another person’s history and identity, they can gaslight, undermine, shame, and basically destroy that person’s soul. They attack your memories, your perceptions, deny what you have experienced, attacking your thoughts, your intellect, your free will, your whole mind, your spirit, your feelings, your mother, your identity, and your basic familial origins.
They will attempt to pull you out of the ground, roots and all. They want you to be a seed that never got planted. But since you do exist, if they cannot yank you out, they will use round-up on you.
Then they can cluck their tongues in feigned pity, and claim you are mentally ill or emotionally disturbed, when they are the ones perpetuating the delusion. How many times do you hear the pious say, “Oh, the poor thing”. Right. You are nothing but a “thing” to them. And lowly as you are to them, they are paradoxically obsessed with you. They are vastly superior, so they cannot see too clearly, from their lofty height. So they make assumptions based on what they want, even though it is your life. They will exploit you until there is nothing left but a shell, and they could care less.
Most of us know that bullies target the weakest, and the most vulnerable members of society, whether it is a within a family, a community, a school, or a certain group of people within a country.
In addition, it is human nature to side with a bully, if he is the one who has the most power, influence and money. Therefore, the weaker individual is easily, and consistently ganged up on, often with nowhere to turn, as part of the plot is to remove all support systems. They turn you into an outcast, and then blame you for being an outcast. The cognitive dissonance is beyond bizarre. The bully is constantly blaming the victim for what he is doing to them.
They want you isolated and alone. This dynamic and pattern is well known. It happens in domestic violence situations. It happens with cults. It occurs whenever there is coercive control. The weaker person becomes the scapegoat for all that is wrong in the life of the more powerful individual. It is a grandiose form of projection. They project all of their own faults onto the victim. They instruct and influence others to do the same.
At the core, it is a deceptive and unfair malicious plot. The victim is dehumanized, and is therefore an easy target. No matter what you try to do, it fails. If you fight back, you get punished more, and accused of being the cause of all conflict.
If you go to authorities, you risk getting punished more, without any validation given by the authorities. The more of a threat you are, the bigger the risk you take. The more powerful the aggressor, the less likely the authorities will pay attention. Intimidation has a very wide rippling effect.
If you plead, beg, and show irrefutable proof, to try and convince the powerful one, and their followers, that you did nothing to deserve this treatment, it falls on deaf ears. They will gaslight you into doubting your own sanity. In fact, they will outright claim you are insane, with nothing to base such an accusation on.
You are in a no win situation, locked in for life. Truth does not matter to those who do such things. In fact, it is of utmost importance to keep up the facade. The only way you can avoid more bullying attacks, is through compliance.
They are punishing and shaming me for who I am. It is kind of like kicking the dog because it is not a cat. They tried to force me to deny who I am, and the family I was born into. It was very painful to have to endure such a plot.
But keeping up the facade, also has dire and soul destroying consequences. It gets to the point where you can no longer do it. The lifeblood has been sucked right out of you, and it is a matter of survival to get out from under it. The oppression is stifling. You cannot crawl or claw your way free of it.
There can be no substitute for truth. The denial of truth leads to strong delusion. The denial of truth exacerbates the original wrongdoing. The denial of truth leads to secrecy, escapism, depression, hopelessness, ongoing intergenerational abuse, toxicity, and very dark places. It is a spiritual death trap.
All of history, both in the Bible, and in the secular world, there is documentation that tracks lineage and the genealogy of all people, and all cultures of people. No one can excise, eliminate, or alter the history of another human being without consequences. In fact, even in the absence of written documentation, it is coded into our DNA.
Material things from the past are only relevant in what they represent, as far as what humans have done, contributed, discarded, or left behind. These are the remnants of our past.
The material landscape has created heaps in landfills. But we have long since past the point where things like fast fashion, fast food, fast money, and material things without value, have been known to be growing exponentially. Maybe it is time to put the brakes on.
Meanwhile the things that do have lasting value, with painstaking attention to detail, got discarded along the way.
Now it is the past things, not the rapidly churned out Material Girl type stuff promoted by garish celebrities like Madonna, that hold their value, or increase in value.
China, and various others, whose only motive was profit, just add mountains of debris to the landfills. They also add to the desire to throw away the old, for the newer shinier object at the local Walmart.
The new twenty first century culture is one of disposable products, all designed to create and sell more disposable products. This is the great enigma, and a massive contradiction, when simultaneously the world is also steeped in fears about fossil fuels.
Whereas historically, there was pride taken in the quality of craftsmanship, and in taking care of things, because there was time, resources, materials, artistry, and cost associated with the creation of those items.
In creating a portfolio of twentieth century design, my hope is to draw attention to the true value of some of the things from the past.
Of course I am open to offers on all products, but I do want to point out that many of these things will never be created again. Some of them are museum quality, and should be shared, even if only in pictures online, because they show some of the incredible artistry, of what talented people have created in the past.
I just posted a 1920’s silk ribbon dress, and shawl that must have taken well over a thousand hours to make. It is made of intricately wound silk ribbon on net, with every bit of it hand stitched into an elaborate design. It also has a shawl with a hand knotted fringe. How can one price such a dress? There is not another one like it in existence. It is a hundred years old, painstakingly hand crafted, with subtle beaded accents throughout. I have to take some more pictures of it with a larger frame camera, but for now, here it is so you know what I am referring to:
In my opinion the twentieth century of design is the last hurrah. I do not think there will be a twenty first century of design, and if there is, it is certainly nowhere near the quality that came from the twentieth century.
Our history and culture is important in all facets. We will take nothing material with us when we leave this world, and nor will we take any money with us.
We are here to be stewards of material things for awhile, to acknowledge the contributions, the good, and the quality of craftsmanship brought to us from different cultures. Some things belong in the landfill. Other things should be taken care of, and saved until they are passed on to another generation.
Our journey and time here is made up of our history, our family, our experiences, and the work we do. We are not saved by works, but nevertheless we have to work to provide for our family, ourselves, and to not be a burden to others, if we can help it.
Even when there is a deliberate attempt to rob us of who we are, and where we came from, nothing can take away our God given identity.
Unfortunately, I got saddled with a bullying and cultish high school teacher who brazenly claimed ownership of who I am. He infiltrated every facet of my life. He was so delusional, he repeatedly told people I was his daughter. He bullied and threatened me into silence. I barely knew the guy, so it was beyond absurd. But he kept on lying, and would not go away. So the problem morphed into the lies of a lifetime. Like a plague.
We are supposed to do good. We are supposed to love God, honour our mother and father, and love our neighbour as ourself. We are even supposed to love our enemies.
Truthfully, I looked just like our mother, and was the apple of her eye. Her name was Joy. Our Swedish grandmother called me Little Joy. They came to Canada from a farm in northern Sweden. Three of their six children were born in Sweden, and three were born in Canada. Our mother was very creative, and loved to sew. These are basic truths that were stifled and bullied out of me for many many years.
As far as material things are concerned, because of our mother, I developed a love for textiles early in life. I know it’s true that we do not store up material goods for any real purpose, other than temporary stewardship. I love hand embroidery, and brilliant silk fabrics, and fancy glass buttons.
The matters of our hearts, our minds, our love, our relationships, are far more important than material things.
There are those who will try to rob us of what is most valuable, because they know how to cause deep rooted emotional abuse, that is destructive to our spirit and soul.
They seek to deny and destroy our identity and history, thereby obliterating our future. They seek to destroy our relationships, especially to Christ, because for Christians our true identity is in Christ. We are adopted into the family of God.
They seek to break up our family life, and will place themselves at the helm, when they have no business even being there in the first place. They have no boundaries. They have skin thicker than a reptile, and unblinking stares.
The devil tries to take away our identity and history, because the goal is to claim and destroy souls. True evil does not just rob material things, but rather it seeks to destroy our origins, because if we are cut off from our history, it is like breaking a link in a chain. What good can it do if it is broken? What can it haul? What can itcarry forward?
The enemy, our adversary is the one who attacks and tries to re-create our history. They attack our minds, will and emotions. They do not accept a single boundary or take no for an answer. They lie through their wolf-like teeth. They stare as though their subject is nothing but a bug under a microscope.
They close off all escape routes. They are master manipulators. They influence others to lie, deny and gaslight. And once they have them in their corner, they too must go along with it all.
There are many websites now that talk about scapegoating, denial, and abuse. When people go along with a more powerful master manipulator, the term given to them in these videos, is called “flying monkeys”.
It is kind of a pejorative term, and it is easier to forgive the flying monkeys, because they are either deceived, or they are in the mode of self preservation.
Although we have no power over those who do choose to deny the truth of the past, and who try to give us over to evil forces, in order to obliterate our history and destroy us, we do have a helper.
By the grace of God, and the belief in Christ, we are plucked out of the fowler’s snare. We cannot do it on our own. We flounder hopelessly. I know, because it happened to me.
Of all the things we are supposed to do, we are supposed to forgive and repent. And it does set us free. We all need forgiveness, and none of us has the ultimate power of forgiveness. We can only forgive the trespasses against us, because we know that we too, have trespassed against others many times.
The power of forgiveness comes through Christ. There is no other way. Regardless of the historical abuses a person has suffered, there will be a day of accountability. Therefore, like John the Baptist preaching in the wilderness, we all need to repent – for the end of time is coming closer for all of us.
It iscoming much closer, due to the calamities the world is facing, along with the corruption and strangeness that is being magnified in all realms.
The strong delusion and deception is staggering, and I don’t think anyone will know the true extent of it until the end. For some it will be the bitter end, and for others it will be a glorious new beginning.
So if the end, is the end of this world as we know it, and we are still alive, we will go through it, and are called upon to endure it. If we die before the end of the world, we will still be raised to a new beginning, IF we know Christ.
God knows every single person, in every generation since the beginning of time. If you read the Bible, the people are named, and the lineage is of utmost importance, as they go from one generation to another.
No one gets plucked out of their lineage, no matter what another person tries to do to them, or how much they lie, or try to deny who they are.
As children of Adam and Eve, Cain was jealous of his sibling, and killed his brother Abel. It did not go unnoticed. Cain did not obliterate his brother either, like he had planned to. God immediately knew what he had done, and why he had done it, and actually told Cain that his brother’s blood had cried out to Him from the ground. Cain could not lie his way out of what he had done.
No one can lie their way out of what they have done – yet how many foolish people continue to lie and deceive?
Joseph’s siblings hated him, and threw him into a pit, then sold him into slavery. Years later, they came begging to him for food, not even realizing who he was.
Moses was adopted as a baby, yet he denounced that adoption, and returned to his homeland to free his people.
God knows the end from the beginning, and the beginning from the end. He knows what is, what was, and what is to come. Therefore, anyone who messes with, and tries to rob the identity of another person through lying and deceit, is going to be facing the real truth one day.
One of the biggest warnings we have, is to embrace the truth. Delusion happens to those who refuse to embrace the truth. The eternal hardship brought about by such delusion, is beyond our human comprehension.
Seek truth. Don’t deny it. It will prevent us from falling into the abyss. It is a profound and eternal reality. The truth does set us free.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I have to admit, I did not know the range of differences when it comes to puka shell, conch shell, and heishi necklaces. I sort of assumed all of them were hand crafted beads out of shell or stone, and nested together to make a necklace.
However, although traditionally heishi necklaces were made of shell, they are now made of all kinds of material, both organic and hand made. The main difference between heishi and puka is that traditional heishi beads are hand crafted, and the drill holes are manmade. The heishi and puka shell also have different cultural and geographical origins.
Heishi are hand made disc or tube shaped beads that originated in the Dominican Republic. New Mexico, and Arizona, going back several thousand years.
Puka shell necklaces, on the other hand, are made of shells with natural holes in the centre as part of the structure of the shell. They come from the beaches of Hawaii, and became popular in the sixties and seventies. The shells were gathered from the beaches, and then made into necklaces for the tourist and gift market.
The link at the end of this post shows an example of a vintage puka shell necklace, along with the description of a genuine puka shell necklace from Hawaii. I do have a few in the collection, as well as several heishi necklaces, so will have to go through and examine them all closely.
As it is with all things, some are more elaborate, and more beautiful than others. That can be said for both the heishi and puka shell necklaces. The older ones are by far the best.
Most of the older shell necklaces have barrel clasps, which is an indicator of age. However the barrel clasp dates back to the Victorian era, and has been used ever since.
Therefore the barrel clasp offers a wide range of dates to try and figure out. In some cases, the clasp looks very old with patina, and wear on the metal, which is usually brass. In other cases, it is quite shiny and newer looking. It does depend on how the necklace was kept, and how often it was worn as well. In some cases, older jewelry can be in mint condition, if it has been well cared for.
In my opinion, and experience though, I do not see the barrel clasp in contemporary jewelry. It most often seems to be from the Victorian era, to the 1960’s or so. In the more recently made jewelry, you are most likely to see spring or lobster clasps on necklaces.
Once I get through all the measuring and re-examining of the jewelry in the collection, I will do a more detailed blog post on the clasps from the twentieth century.
I have found quite a few websites that discuss the various types of clasps, but often they do not give any indication of dates. The clasp is a key indicator, and sometimes the only indicator of the age, so it does help to learn more about them, if you are interested in vintage and antique jewelry.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
As I go through the jewelry to measure and make some corrections after doing much more research, I find more and more interesting little known facts. We tend to think of wire wrapped jewelry and beads as being a twentieth century concept, more popular during the hippie era. Or at least that is what I thought, until I examined some very old jewelry with wire sculpted beads.
It turns out the history of wire sculpting, or wire wrapped jewelry goes back to 1446 BC and earlier. To put it into perspective, once calculated 1446 BC is more than three thousand years ago! Wire wrapped jewelry has been found in Egyptian tombs.
“The Egyptian tombs date back to more than five thousand years ago. The stony tombs date back to the Old Kingdom (c. 2700–2200 BC) and First Intermediate (c. 2181–2055 BC) eras, Egypt’s antiquities ministry.”
“1446 was 3468 years, 5 months and 14 days ago, which is 1,266,826 days. It was on a Tuesday and was in week 01 of -1446. How many months ago was -1446?”
Below is a link with an antique necklace with many types of antique beads. It is over fifty inches long, with a variety of bead shapes, and colours, many of which are wrapped in wire.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The appreciation for antique and vintage Swarovski crystals has origins in many countries, but nothing beats the Swarovski crystals and glass making techniques from Austria. After awhile you learn to recognize the cut, clarity and sparkle that sets them apart. Austria began the use of Swarovski crystals in 1892, and in my opinion, nothing has ever superseded these brilliant remnants of the past.
Often the stones are larger and round cut, as opposed to many of the smaller square cut and round cut clear crystals that were popular during the era of glamorous costume jewelry. In the case of the incredible necklace example in this post, the stones are set with multiple prongs on each one. This sort of attention to detail is what gives an item long lasting value, because the loss of just one stone would rob it of wearability and value.
In modern day jewelry, necklaces with single or small cut Swarovski crystals often cost over $600.00. The same goes for earrings and bracelets. Three or four marquise cut genuine Swarovski crystals will be priced over $500.
There is no real way to compare some of the vintage and antique to modern day, as you cannot find anything in the modern day shops that are remotely comparable. You see crystals that are a few millimetres, or small specks, compared to .25″ rows of sparkling coloured and aurora borealis precision cut Swarovski crystals in Austrian jewelry from the early to mid twentieth century.
The following necklace is an example of a drop dead gorgeous Austrian Swarovski crystal necklace, that could only be rivalled by diamonds. Even in the vintage and antique market, this kind of elaborate necklace is seldom seen.
This necklace has been in the Quiet West collection for many years now. I am so glad it is in excellent condition, as it deserves the care, attention and preservation, in appreciation of the materials, workmanship, and creativity that went into making it seventy five or eighty years ago.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Royal Worcester Porcelain Company Ltd. was formed in 1862. Fortunately they have marked their creations to help give an idea about when they were made. The following is a link to a pin on the Quiet West website. I have also included a link to give the background on the markings and how they changed over the years. It is rather confusing!
The pin I am going to use in this example was one I had originally dated 1950’s. However once looking at the Boucher numbering system, it is actually 1940’s – 1946 to be exact. It has BOUCHER without a copyright symbol, and the number 2432, as well as Patent Pending stamped on the back.
It really showed a great deal of vision on the part of Boucher, to create such a numbering system, as he must have known the jewelry he created would outlive him, and could possibly be around for hundreds of years if properly cared for.
The following pin is in excellent condition, which is always a good thing. Marcel Boucher created some of the most sought after and collectible costume jewelry in existence.
This is the link to the pin I am referring to on the Quiet West website, and the numbering system, which enables me to give a more precise date on the pin.
When I embarked on putting this website together more than ten years ago, it was to photo document, set up an online store, and get a large collection of mostly vintage established and archived online.
Initially some of the online research I did, claimed an antique was anything that was at least seventy five years old. It seemed the consensus then, was about 50:50 between the definition of antique being seventy five, or a hundred years. But now, almost all sites refer to antique jewelry as being a hundred years old, or older.
As time has gone by, I have noticed fewer sites go with the seventy five year claim, and most adhere to the standard hundred years.
So because there was a discrepancy in definition, I was going with the seventy five years. But I have decided to go with the more prevalent standard of one hundred years.
Therefore all the 1930’s and 1940’s jewelry with the antique word in the title, will be removed. If something straddles the age span between 1920’s and 1930’s, I will still call it an antique in certain cases.
My apologies, if as a customer or browser, you saw things dated 1940’s described as antique. The 1940’s items are certainly approaching their “golden years” of being a hundred years old, because they are now eighty-three years old. But they still do not meet the criteria.
In some cases, especially when it comes to antique beads, the age is very difficult to pin down. Antique beads have been carried from place to place for hundreds, if not thousands of years. To make it even more complicated, often jewelry maker’s use a mix of collectible beads from different eras.
As time goes on, I realize nothing is created equally, when it comes to jewelry. Sometimes expensive coloured gemstones are put into brass settings. Some of the valuable antique beads are strung with wood, or other cheaper beads. And most of all, not all glass is created equally. Some glass is more valuable than some gemstones.
Organic materials can also be difficult to date. Obviously amber is very old. But the jewelry setting it is put into could be mid century, or any age. So one has to juggle the definitions around the materials, a mix of materials, as well as the time of the creation of the piece. The clasps, pins, and hooks, help to date the older pieces as for as when they were made.
With vintage costume jewelry, it is easier to date, because of the different signatures, and use of the copyright symbol. Typically the copyright symbol was added to jewelry after 1955.
Also patent numbers can help to date items. In addition, the rise and popularity of authentic vintage costume jewelry happened between the late twenties, and for many of those companies, they lasted into the seventies. Therefore most of those pieces fall into the mid-century range.
As I gain more experience, I am getting better at identifying the old, from the really old. Also after so many years of collecting, there are many ways to differentiate the old from the new materials. Of course most of what is in the second hand market now is 1990’s and newer, with a few old things in the mix.
As I continue to go through the collection this summer to measure, describe, and make corrections, the antique titles will be changed to reflect the hundred year range, as opposed to seventy five years.
What has driven prices up in vintage costume jewelry? Even though there are still sites selling vintage costume jewelry at low prices, the price for certain designers, and one of a kind pieces, has really gone up in recent years.
This is especially true of jelly belly, fruit salad, Swarovski crystals, Austrian glass, and figural items, like birds with elaborate detailing and enamelling.
I think the main point is, that many of the creators of vintage costume jewelry used labour intensive techniques, and high quality materials, many of which are now obsolete or cost prohibitive, is the major reason.
Another reason, is how unique and elaborate some of the pieces are, which can never be replicated today. Probably the central reason, is that these items were not mass produced, and were made during a time when quality, and attention to detail, became the stamp of the maker or creator.
Another contributing factor, is the passage of time. In recent decades, with the rise of fast fashion and mass produced cheap jewelry made in China, we exhausted the rapid turnover, and the shine wore off those items, as quickly as they were created.
Now we are in a different era, and the vintage items of high quality, with hard to find materials and exceptional craftsmanship, are moving from being trendy vintage, to being sought after antiques.
Many of the master craftsman of the high quality costume jewelry era during the forties and fifties, had their beginnings in the creation of fine jewelry using real gold, pearls, sapphires and diamonds. They then used their expertise to create fine costume jewelry to emulate the real thing. A high percentage of them apprenticed under companies like Cartier and Van Cleef & Arpels.
In addition to the long cherished glass making and jewelry techniques with origins in Europe, New York, and Montreal, they all buckled down and created fascinating high quality jewelry during the early to mid-twentieth century. It was like a boom time for creativity and craftsmanship.
The expertise and techniques in glass making actually created gemstone quality jewelry. The nacre and hand knotting of faux pearls created replicas that require a lab, and a hundred thousand dollar X-Ray machine to differentiate the real from the faux pearls.
In the case of coloured gemstones, all of the easy to access gemstones have already been mined, or collected. It is one thing to collect rocks, as well as shells. I can see why there is a fascination with the original, and raw forms of the beautiful things people find in nature.
But in addition to the materials, when it comes to jewelry making, there is a creative process, from the choice of materials, to the design, and most of all to the craftsmanship.
It has taken many years, and I will readily admit to not knowing even a small percentage of the range of jewelry craftsmanship. It would take a lifetime to learn to identify all the different types of glass and gemstones used. And even if you managed that, there are still materials made of fossilized wood, tree resins, bone, ivory, plastics, vulcanite, oak bog, enamels, and tortoise shells. Even lizard skin was used in jewelry in the past.
If it could be crafted into jewelry, it was done. Often the focus was on organic materials one could collect on beaches, in the forest, or places with an abundant supply and variety of rocks and fossils.
Everything from seeds, to nuts, coconut shells, shark’s teeth, claws, and even human hair, was used at some time or another to craft into jewelry. Such is our inclination toward creativity and personal adornment.
In many cases things are treated, dyed, and made to look like a certain stone. Turquoise is one of the most frequently altered coloured gemstones of all.
As with all things, the real special items do show their grandiosity. It shows when you examine an item closely. It shows in the way it feels, in the way it reflects and illuminates light from within, and mostly it shows in the craftsmanship involved. The human element is what makes the item what it is, and the more labour intensive, the more valuable.
For example, the micro mosaic glass jewelry that was popular in Italy and Venice in the early 20th century is absolutely phenomenal when it comes to the precision and intricacy involved. In some of the richer examples, they used real gemstones. But more often, they used tiny bits of brightly coloured glass, and arranged them into flowers, borders, and scrolling, with impeccable placement and craftsmanship. Often each bit of glass was just a couple of millimetres in size, so to place them into such intricate patterns, is something to marvel at.
In later years, the micro mosaic pieces became much smaller, and with less detail. They were very popular tourist keepsakes for those travelling to Italy and Venice.
As time goes on, especially if people do not have the inclination, the resources, or the expertise to make these beautiful works of art, the number of available pieces becomes less and less, and new creations are not being made. That is what drives up the price.
How often do you see elaborate three or four strand necklaces made of poured glass, blown glass, or hand decorated glass in the modern stores? What we see in modern jewelry might be a few Swarovski crystals, or a single tourmaline stone. But we do not see the shimmering abundance, or time and workmanship that went into creating the 1950’s art glass, and elaborate coloured gemstone jewelry. The modern day glass jewelry often has haphazardly glued glass stones. You do not see three and four strand art glass necklaces in contemporary jewelry.
The new jewelry with coloured gemstones set into sterling silver are now small, compared to what they used to be. However in the vintage and antique pieces, often the gemstones are very large and striking. The gem is framed in, and showcased with all of its natural splendour. It is not a tiny fragment of sparkle, or colour, like we see in newer items. Even the high end stores are now selling jewelry with stones you can barely see.
In the case of gemstones and master craftsmanship in sterling silver, there is probably no greater example of creativity than what has come out of Mexico. Twenty years or so ago, I picked up a collection of 1940’s Taxco jewelry with around twenty pieces or so. It has given me a real appreciation for Mexican sterling silver jewelry.
Whether the price of sterling goes up much or not, one cannot under estimate the value of the workmanship, and the gemstones used by people that clearly have an eye for design, as well as a rich history of passing on the art of silversmiths.
We cannot be dismissive of sterling silver, because since Biblical times, it has had value, and at one time, was even considered to be more valuable than gold. In the Bible, Jacob’s well was purchased with a hundred pieces of sterling silver.
On a much more sombre note, we also know the life of Christ was sold for thirty pieces of silver. It goes to show how much silver was valued, and used no different than money is used to betray people.
The silver to gold ratios have fluctuated wildly throughout history, and although there are many predictions about it all, it seems plausible that there is a huge adjustment in those ratios on the horizon.
Throughout history, from ancient times, and during the Roman Empire, the silver to gold ratio ranged from 8:1 to 15:1. In recent years it has been as much as 114:1.
Currently it is around 83:1. Could it go back to the historical average of 15:1? It certainly seems possible, as precious metals and gemstones etc. often do see corrections in price when they have been undervalued.
Silver is still silver, always has been, and always will be. It has not changed. Only the manmade influences, banking and investment industry, and supply and demand, have caused it to change. The manmade influences are volatile, especially during times of inflation, and rapid global changes, as we have seen in the post covid era. Time will tell.
Also during ancient times, many coloured gemstones, like amethysts, had more value than diamonds.
We really cannot predict the future value of silver, gold, and gemstones. But we can learn to recognize the value coming from countries, and companies who carried forth expertise and master craftsmanship in jewelry making.
They did not spend a hundred hours or more making one piece of jewelry, and use junky materials that they themselves did not appreciate. If they had an eye for detail, and the ability of a master craftsman, they knew more than most of us about the materials they were using.
Not only is there the cost of materials, metals, gemstones, crystals etc. but if you consider that one item might have taken twelve to fifty hours or more to make, it really helps put things into perspective with regards to the rising cost.
For example thirty hours of work by a master craftsman today at just above minimum wage, would be labour costs of $600.00 alone. Of course the master craftsperson’s work is worth more than minimum wage, and also requires many special tools and equipment. So when you add all the materials, the antiquity, and the fact that all the major mid-century designers like Sherman, are long gone, it is understandable we are seeing an increase in value.
On the upside, the more the value increases, the greater the appreciation, and the more likely these remnants of our past will be taken care of.
The time and expense that goes into collecting, researching, and photo documenting a vintage collection is a daunting task. I can give my own personal testimony on what is involved, and the thousands of hours it has taken to reach this point.
I do believe that by taking the best of the past, and documenting it to the best of my ability, it serves to showcase part of our rich and diverse cultural heritage, and in the long term, is worthwhile.
It helps to educate, show a range of design, and bring historical perspective to things that will never again be made to the same degree of creativity and finesse.
In the coming months I will be using a USB microscope and camera to capture some of the finer details that cannot be seen with a loupe, macro lens or the naked eye. This is especially important to show off features in amber, and other gemstones, so people can see for themselves what it is.
I have noticed that with a Nikon camera, and a macro Nikon lens, it helps to rule out junk jewelry. It quickly shows stones that are haphazardly glued into place, as well as cheap metals prone to pitting. it shows where gold plating as worn off. Junk is not exactly photogenic.
In addition to the long lasting value in precious metals like silver and gold, there are also many vintage metals with exceptional coatings and rhodium plating that do not wear off. The more closely one can examine an item, the better prepared they are to choose something with lasting value. The one exception is with oxidized silver. The oxidation or patina can be cleaned, and does not detract from the value.
Although I do clean jewelry with caution, and sometimes not at all, depending on the piece, because I think detergents and warm water can affect the coating, the surface or cause rust. In many cases a fine sable makeup brush will clean out the dust. One cannot be a total perfectionist, and clean every nook and cranny with a q-tip before doing the photography.
When an item sells, I do go over it and do more cleaning if it is needed.
The entire photo documenting project also leaves some sparkling examples of things with long lasting value for future generations to study and appreciate. From an educational perspective alone, it has lasting value.
I have been working on measuring, and increasing the navigation menus on the jewelry collection to make it easier for browsers and buyers. The jewelry collection is now approaching 3000 items, so it will take all summer to get through it all. I am not quite halfway through, so the work in progress is ongoing!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The burgeoning number of true crime podcasts does suggest there is an interest if not a fascination with true crime. Some of the true crime podcasts are very well researched and have good storytellers.
However, as it is with all things – there should be a limit, especially if the podcaster is using the tragedy of other people’s lives to exalt themselves, and put themselves front and centre of every news grabbing story.
It can be the epitome of narcissism, when someone plasters their pretty face in the middle of every gruesome crime, and retells the same gory details that have been exposed through shows like Dateline, 48 Hours, Fifth Estate, true crime writers and so on.
In the case of true crime writers, those who write books about certain crimes, they actually do multiple interviews with family members, witnesses, and police. They also attend the trial, and make observations during the trial, taking copious notes.
They do not simply watch the Dateline version, dig up whatever is made available to the public about the crime, and then retell the same story, with their own face replacing Keith Morrison or Ann Rule. Most of the true crime writers put the time and effort into creating the relationships that provide insight into the crime, and how it developed.
It is not to suggest amateur sleuths and podcasters are not helpful in some cases. I believe the benefit in posting amateur true crime podcasts, is when there is an unsolved crime. They have to be careful not to accuse anyone directly, but they can show pictures, social media posts, or information, to help the investigation.
In cases of unsolved crime, it seems most often the family wants to keep the story alive until the crime is solved. Or in the case of a missing person, until they are found, so they can get some peace, and mourn the death, instead of wondering every day if they might be alive somewhere. Naturally the family wants to find out what happened to their loved one.
I can think of several cases where an unsolved case was kept alive for many years, often with family putting up billboards, and staying in touch with media, and other writers. They do so with the hope it will bring out clues, or that someone with knowledge will come forward. Sometimes the intimate partner of the perpetrator knows something, but does not come forward until years later, when the relationship dissolves.
In many cases, the podcasters and amateur sleuths do dig up information to contribute valuable information, and tips when it comes to solving a crime. People have dashboard cameras, Go Pro cameras, doorbell cameras, security cameras, etc. that capture critical information, such as in the Gabby Petito case.
If not for the couple who happened to pass by on the remote dirt road where she was being buried, it might have taken years to find her, if at all. If not for the coincidence of those who happened to drive past the van, as well as the inclination to document their own journey, the case may never have been solved.
In the case of Chris Watts, his neighbour immediately brought forth critical evidence captured by his own home security system. In fact, his neighbour, and those closest to the Watts family, were the first to know who did it, long before the investigation was complete.
I think the Idaho student murders also had contributions from many community members, who saw and identified his car, which ultimately led to the identification of the murderer. So in all these ways, the involvement of a wider community, social media, and the many cameras, do help solve crimes. Not only that, but the cameras provide much better evidence than eye witness testimony can.
But when the podcaster is retelling and rehashing the grisly details of crimes that have already been solved and told many times, just to try and use a newsworthy tragedy and loss, in order to put themselves in the spotlight, it crosses the boundaries into exploitation, in my opinion.
Not long ago I skimmed over a three part series that a woman did on a grisly family murder. It has been covered numerous times already, and happened years ago. This same woman has her photoshopped beauty standing out in every single story she does, placing herself in front of the crime victims. In the case of the three part crime story she retold, in excruciating boring minute detail, it was about a son who killed his parents, and then burned their bodies. The crime was horrific, the murder was solved long ago, and the professionals did tell the stories, complete with interviews and outcomes.
How does it benefit anyone to retell such a story in every gory gruesome detail? Some of these people are still rehashing the Jodi Arias crime, which was also solved, brought to trial, and covered by all the news outlets. The crime happened fifteen years ago. Retelling the story does not do anyone any good. In fact, it is horrible for those close to the victim, because it never gets put to rest.
All it does is magnify the criminal, and the notoriety they often seek, to serve their own ghastly claim to fame. Some of them, like Jody Arias revel in the spotlight. Why enable and promote such warped self gratification?
I can certainly understand the conversations about human psychology, and behaviour that helps people understand, or come to terms with violent crime. I can also understand why people have an interest in such stories, and finding out some of the dark intrigue surrounding what makes people tick. It is especially so if the perpetrator seemed to be, or came across as being a normal person. People marvel at how they could be sitting next to someone who harboured such a degree of deception, violence and rage.
If the podcasters put themselves in the background where they belong, it is more appropriate, as opposed to plastering their own image onto every grisly crime that ever happened. I do not see the benefit of the attention grabbing YouTubers who attach themselves to such atrocities, to satisfy their own attempts to be famous, or show how attractive and brilliant they are.
In the case of Jodi Arias, her father died under mysterious circumstances, with some reports saying it was suicide, because he could not reconcile what kind of person his daughter had become. This should serve as a reminder that these perpetrators leave behind victims within their own families and communities, who may never be able to come to terms with what the person did, or the guilt they might feel as a parent or family member of such a person.
The dead do not know who is talking about them. But the living do know, and the podcasters should be sensitive to the fact it can reopen the wounds, over and over again. Then the family is subjected to comments, hate mail, and a notoriety they did not invite into their lives.
Justice for the victims is very important, and opinions are always a part of widely publicized crimes. But who needs to make themselves into a wannabe celebrity over those crimes? What is the point?
In many cases, the parent or family member of a crime victim will have a massive heart attack before, or right after the trial. The trial itself puts incredible emotional and psychological pressure on family members. One would hope that once the verdict is in, the process of healing can begin.
You can tell when a person is using tragic and high profile cases to exalt themselves, because they put their own picture front and centre, and plaster it all over YouTube, to show off how glamorous and beautiful they are. They make sure they outshine the victims, and sugar coat it with nauseating feigned empathy.
What they are actually doing is keeping old wounds open. They are not interviewing family members or the perpetrator, as they do in the more professional shows, to help lend insight into the motives.
They are not collaborating with anyone. Nor are they adding any new information that is the least bit relevant. They are taking those Dateline stories, and news articles, and simply retelling the story in order to put their own face and stamp of “content creation” on a YouTube channel.
They might earn a couple hundred dollars a month doing sponsorship ads. So when you combine that with the fact they plaster their own image on hundreds of crime stories, and then retell the same story based on someone else’s content that they manage to dredge up – isn’t that exploitation?
In my opinion, if the crime has been solved, and the case has already been broadcasted, there is no justification for retelling the story over and over. In fact I believe it does more harm than good.
If a family member of the victim decides to tell the story from their own perspective, that is fine. It could help contribute to a broader understanding, or provide insight for other family victims. But for random people to piggy back some notion of personal fame, and use those crimes to build a following and fame for themselves on YouTube does seem to cross a line. Furthermore, it does not meet the criteria for original content.
There are people who strive to build channels on YouTube with all sorts of topics, from politics, to religion, to travel, to wellness, to camping and living off the grid. In those cases, they are sharing ideas, experiences, personal beliefs, research, and imagery that places the focus on the concept they are promoting.
One would think, and hope that when a person retells grisly crime stories over and over, with their own face plastered front and centre, they don’t have enough ideas of their own to keep a channel alive.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
When you delve into the dazzling range of colour and history of art glass, you cannot help but appreciate the antiquity and the techniques that have been passed down through families of master craftspeople for centuries. Italy, Austria and Czechoslovakia all have historical expertise and long lasting stories behind these decorative beads and glasswork.
One of the awesome things about these beads and intricate arrangements, and precision cuts of glass, and Swarovski crystals, is that they do stand the test of time. They have gone through the trial by fire to be made in the first place, and because jewelry, and especially beads are small and durable, they can last for centuries if taken care of. Some of the antique beads are reworked into newer necklaces, and in a few cases they remain intact from the date they were made.
As I go through the collection, measuring, and adding product descriptions, I can’t help but marvel all over again at some of the art glass. Here are some examples that will light up any room.
In addition to the famous European makers of art glass, we cannot forget the 20th century beauty that came out of North America. In Canada Gustave Sherman started a jewelry company in the 1940’s in Montreal, with the goal to make jewelry to last a lifetime. He did accomplish that goal because Sherman jewelry will be treasured for more than one lifetime. Sherman was sold through luxury retailers like Birk’s in Canada, and ceased production in the late seventies. So the age range for the Sherman collection is 1941 – 1979. It is not as old as some of the European glass makers, however it is definitely beautiful and notable in design and workmanship. Of course as a Canadian, it is a pleasure to promote and show Canadian made fashion. Once again, we have Montreal to thank for all these beautiful remnants of our rich and colourful history. To View all Sherman Jewelry:
I just posted this pair of gorgeous and intricately detailed shell art images under New Arrivals. Even the flowers have meticulously crafted stamen protruding from the centres. Here is the link to the listing. I will add more photos tomorrow.
This image is depicting what I believe to be Mary Magdalene preparing to wash the feet of Jesus. It is not associated with any particular religious domination, other than being representative of the early Christian practice of washing feet. From a practical perspective, during Christ’s time here, they walked long distances and wore sandals, therefore their feet would be dusty after a journey.
In this image, you can also see the man who is standing, holding a basin under his chin, and appears to be washing his beard. The details in this imagery are etched using some type of fine tool, giving the appearance of penciling. It is truly a balanced, inspired, and detailed work of art.
From a symbolic perspective of servitude, foot washing depicts the act of humbling oneself to serve others. To paraphrase what I have learned about Mary Magdalene: In this scene you can see the woman holding up a small flask with anointing oils. In Biblical stories Mary Magdalene is the woman who became a devout follower of Christ. Prior to that, she had great resentment toward her husband, who had divorced her for another woman.
She lost a significant dowry because women were not permitted to own land. Apparently her father was at one time a wealthy landowner. Her husband may have married her for the dowry, as he did not come from a background like hers. This particular information is not described in the Bible, but rather extrapolated from different historical documentaries. There is credibility to the history because her family name Magdalene is similar to the village where she was born called Magdala.
After her husband divorced her, she was angry and rebellious. Rather than live in poverty, as a young beautiful woman, she became the mistress of various rich and powerful Roman generals. One of them, or perhaps more than one of them mistreated her, beat her, and then discarded her. As a result, she became even more embittered toward men. She is the woman described in the Bible as having seven demons that were cast out by Christ.
The final Roman general she was with, was smitten with her, and took revenge on her ex-husband by attacking and burning the village of Magdala, which is where she grew up. After that she realized the error of her bitterness and lifestyle. She is the woman who went to Jesus in front of many witnesses, and begged for forgiveness, washing his feet with her tears, then drying them with her hair, and applying essential oils.
Mary Magdalene has been the focus of much speculation, and fictional heresies such as were written about in the book the Da Vinci Code. However, what is known is that she became a follower of Christ, and grew up near the Sea of Galilee.
She spent time with Christ and His disciples, and stood at the cross during His crucifixion, mourning alongside His mother and aunt. She was also the first to see Him when he rose from the dead, and ran back to tell the rest of the disciples. Little is known about her following the death and resurrection of Christ.
The entire plate is hand wrought with all the open work, and copper edging done by hand. The raised image portion in the middle is meticulously hand etched in every detail. It measures 11.5″ in diameter. It has been wiped with a cloth, but I did not want to risk using any chemicals on it. It has no artist signatures or markings.
The following is another link to the origin and methodology of hand wrought repousse work on metal.
Could a concept be anymore nonsensical than to promote societal collapse? It is one thing to face the prospect of events unfolding that are beyond our control, such as massive earthquakes, floods, droughts, and other natural disasters, but to actually orchestrate the collapse of civilization is beyond comprehension.
Yet if we are watching what is unfolding right before our eyes, and if we read historical accounts of collapsed civilizations, we can see the patterns. There is a breakdown of law and order. Traditional values, culture, ethics, and truth are replaced with a masquerade of delusions. There is an assault on identity, combined with the targeting and grooming of children for mind control, exploitation, and sexualization.
The epitome of gaslighting is to convince us we are the crazy ones. We are not who we are, or even what we think we are. Nothing is sacred or secure. The establishment has lost all stability. Boys are not boys, and girls are not girls. We now live in a liquid Bud-Light world where fluidity itself is plastic, fake and mawkish – circling the proverbial drain.
There is a similarity to the days of Noah, and the days of Sodom and Gomorrah. Those who oppose the masquerades and delusional mockery of God-given attributes, are accused of hatred. Objective reality is condemned and shamed. Cognitive dissonance is literally drummed into people. Mind control takes on the theatre of the absurd, and poses as entertainment via platforms like Tik-Tok. Those who observe and warn about the straying away from reality and truth, are accused of being conspiracy theorists.
Klaus Schwab is quoted as saying “the world will become a much angrier place”. And true to form, it is rapidly becoming much more violent. Hardly twenty four hours goes by before there is another mass shooting in the US. Canada is seeing an unprecedented wave of violent crime, on the streets, on public transit, and other public places. The perpetrators are immediately let out on bail, and free to roam around to attack more innocent people.
Street drugs are not only decriminalized, they are promoted and encouraged, with recent announcements made by our PM to make them freely available to children and youth, in order to “de-stigmatize drugs” – as if you can hurt the feelings of destructive mind-altering chemicals.
The MAID in Canada has increased, to make us a world leader in euthanizing people. Some have claimed the MAID death toll is well over 10,000 already, and others have placed the numbers at over 30,000. The opiate and street drug overdoses have also claimed thousands of lives, and millions more around the world.
The health care system is unaccessible to most Canadians now, with long wait lists, and no way to access a family doctor, or even get diagnostic tests, let alone treatment. A person with Stage 2 cancer will have Stage 4 cancer before they get treated.
The educational system is brainwashing and sexualizing children, while simultaneously shutting parents out of the conversation. Anger is not allowed. Rational discourse is not allowed. The only option people have is to pull their kids out of school, and home school them. The educational system is rapidly biting the dust, choking on woke.
Home schooling is not always feasible, and can cause a great deal of harm to the child’s socialization, extracurricular activities, friendships, and ability to have fun while they are in a learning environment.
In addition, children are being faced with a ridiculous amount of cognitive dissonance and conflict, without having the experience or maturity to comprehend what it is all about. This leads to confusion, and a higher incidence of depression and mental health issues. In turn, the solutions or so-called help for mental health issues, is to drug them, as opposed to helping them understand the whole world is going mad.
At the same time, the average middle class household is taxed with paying for a judicial system that does not protect anyone but the criminals. A health care system that costs a fortune, yet does not deliver the services. An educational system that supports wayward and woke teachers, but does not protect, or properly educate innocent children. And a state sponsored media that fills us with propaganda, censorship, and chastisement for what we dare to think, or have an opinion about. We are plundered with platitudes, and false reassurance. We are guilt tripped for being white, when we have no control over the colour of our skin, and no judgement over the colour of anyone else’s skin.
The biggest question is this: Why would the politicians, and those with power, push for a modern day societal collapse or apocalypse? A rise in violence along with a loss of culture and values is not a good sign.
The next big contributor to societal collapse is a rise in inflation. It has happened many times throughout history. Before there was paper money, there was silver and gold coins. To contribute to inflation prior to the collapse of the Roman empire, the precious metal coins were increased by adding alloys, and taking out a portion of the silver or gold to create more coins. Inflationary production of money is almost always directed at making the rich richer. Those who set this up, make sure they extract a large percentage of the inflationary influx, and put it into their own coffers. Thus the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.
In recent years, the rich have started building huge underground bunkers in various locations, so they will have a place to escape to in the event of societal collapse. These underground bunkers have spas, pools, hydroponics to grow gardens, security, and artificial light. Apparently some of them are built into small communities with underground passages. What a way to live? Nothing like burrowing into a hole. No matter how elaborate the hole or vault might be, it only gets you closer to hell.
But back to the sixty four dollar question; why would these ultra rich people be willfully orchestrating societal collapse? Doesn’t it bring us back to old adages like “the best laid plans can go awry?” Especially if you are underground? The descriptions of Hitler’s underground bunker do not sound like it was a picnic in the park.
What if their smart system or security fails, and they get locked in there? What if the armed security guards turn on them? What if the married people have affairs with one another, and then hire hit men? What if they are built where there are underground geysers, and they get flooded and are suddenly in total darkness, as the water levels rise? What if their sewage backs up and contaminates their food supply? What if they are built on fault lines, and a chasm opens up and swallows them? Or an earthquake collapses the soil above them, and buries them alive?
Imagine living in a bunker with a bunch of elitist control freaks? Who would be the boss? How would they set up the hierarchy of top dog dominance? How would they fit so many big egos into a confined space? How could they trust each other? This reminds me of Jean-Paul Sartre’s “No Exit”.
No Exit (French: Huis clos, pronounced [ɥi klo]) is a 1944 existentialist French play by Jean-Paul Sartre. The play was first performed at the Théâtre du Vieux-Colombier in May 1944.[1][2] The play begins with three characters who find themselves waiting in a mysterious room. It is a depiction of the afterlife in which three deceased characters are punished by being locked into a room together for eternity. It is the source of Sartre’s especially famous phrase “L’enfer, c’est les autres” or “Hell is other people”, a reference to Sartre’s ideas about the look and the perpetual ontological struggle of being caused to see oneself as an object from the view of another consciousness.[3]
In my opinion, as a Christian, the only way I can conceive of, as to why they would actually plan this, is because they know we are approaching the end of the age, and the second coming of Christ. But instead of accepting Christ as saviour, they continue to reject Him, and create their own ill-fated plan for survival.
As things get more and more difficult, wouldn’t you rather be able to look up at the sky, and the clouds, envisioning what is gifted to us in the book of Revelation? It gives explicit descriptions about the return of Christ, coming in the clouds, with an infinite, all encompassing triumph and glory. Who would want to miss it? Wouldn’t you want to witness the most incredible, waited for, and longed for event in the history of the world?
And prior to that, wouldn’t you rather hear the birds chirp, feel the uplifting optimism of a sunny day, watch a butterfly or bee land on a flower, and feel the fresh breeze on your face?
Even for the ultra rich, isn’t the thought of inspirational bits of nature, in the finale of our existence as we know it, better than being trapped with atheists in an underground bunker?
If the mountains do move, don’t you want to see it happen? When the angels blow the trumpets, don’t you want to hear the sound of it, and feel your heart quicken with excitement as the events unfold? If stars fall from heaven, don’t you want to see them come flaming down? Or would you rather be a fearful mole in the ground?
Wouldn’t you prefer to perceive, and sense what is happening in the world, even if it is reaching a profound and cataclysmic climax?
It might put our courage to the test, but surely it is better than being in total darkness. Because who can believe if things do get apocalyptic to the extent the mountains shift, and massive earthquakes are the norm, that an underground bunker would be a safe place to be?
The only safe place to be as the end of the age unfolds, is in the safety of a solid belief in Jesus, knowing He will bring us through all things, even death itself. He assures us we will have the seal of God on our foreheads. He tells us we can find refuge under his feathers, and the safety of His wings. He promises us that no one, and no evil on this earth, can pluck us out of His hand.
No one can escape God, and no one can escape the truth of who Christ is, and the fact when He does return to this earth, He will be in charge. He has the keys to the abyss, and only He can overcome death.
I would far rather have faith in Jesus, and face death, as all of this unfolds, as opposed to denying Christ, and hiding out in a dungeon somewhere.
If we live by faith, even though the events we see unfolding can be distressing, we do not have to worry about what happens. We only have to embrace the truth, have faith, and endure until the end. We do not control what happens on this earth.
Why do the ultra rich know we are getting closer to the end of the age? Just like many of us know we are getting closer to the return of Christ?
Because there are many warnings in the Bible, explaining to us what will happen before the return of Christ. Wars, rumours of wars, apostasy in the church, strong delusion, mockery of God in every realm, lawlessness, famines, earthquakes, and above all, deception and abominations of every conceivable vile imagination.
The Bible tells us people will become arrogant, lovers of self, truce breakers, without natural affection, and because of all the iniquity, the love of many will wax cold. People’s hearts will become hardened. Because many will refuse to believe the truth, God will send strong delusion, and turn them over to a reprobate mind. Ask yourself honestly, are these prophecies unfolding?
We know the signs, and we also see the signs. We also know the earth is around six thousand years old. The world was created in six days, and on the seventh day God rested. The Bible says that to God, a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as a day.
There are countless examples of the number seven as being a time of rest and restoration. Therefore, it makes total sense that the onset of the seven thousand year age of the earth, would be when Christ will return to set up His thousand year reign on the earth.
This is not to say we can establish the actual date, because God does not intend for us to make such a calculation. The Bible states that no one knows the date of Christ’s return except God. No matter how much people try to study the ancient calendars, and set the actual date of Christ’s birth and resurrection, it is futile.
Some people have attempted to work it backwards, to try and determine how long Adam and Eve were in the garden before they sinned, and still, they cannot figure it out. It is all prone to manmade errors, for it is not stated in the Bible as a predictable date.
It is why we need faith. If we could pinpoint a date, we would not need faith. We would also not need to prepare ourselves, until the day before. Some people have the mindset to be like the thief on the cross. When they reach the final moments before death, they will cry out to Jesus for forgiveness, and acceptance.
Perhaps this is why we are so often told it will happen in the twinkling of an eye. We are supposed to be ready, not turning a blind eye to the signs, or to the advice we are given to recognize what is happening.
The time is at hand, because we do not know when Christ will return, or when we will die. Not one of us has a guarantee we will live another day, another week, or even another hour. We take it for granted, but life itself, especially eternal life, is not something to take for granted.
If all people knew the date of Christ’s return, let’s say hypothetically, it was set at April 30, 2023, then wouldn’t it be typical of human nature to wait until April 29th to repent, and straighten out their lives?
Wouldn’t it be more likely people would just get lazy, quit working, quit doing good, quit preaching the gospel, and just sit back eating Dorito’s and chocolates, until the big day arrived? God knows us better than we know ourselves.
We are meant to know the signs signalling Christ’s return, but we are not meant to know the actual precise date. It does seem quite obvious to me that even the atheists, secular humanists, and enemies of Christ, also know the signs and timelines are right in front of us, or they would not be building underground bunkers.
Don’t they know the Book of Revelation describes the locusts, and when they are released from the abyss in the end times? Read the following description from Revelation chapter 9:
I have many regrets about my own conduct, shortcomings, and foolishness during my lifetime thus far. I have a great deal of gratitude for the grace of God, and Christ’s forgiveness, and plan of redemption. I have been humbled more times than I can count, and have come to realize that being humbled is a blessing, the same as repentance is a blessing.
I cannot think of any greater regret a person could possibly have, than to die, and then face judgment, followed by perishing in the lake of fire. This is described as the second death in the Book of Revelation. It tells us how blessed we are to take part in the first resurrection, and avoid the second death.
For those who deny Christ, it will take until His return, and final judgment day to realize the error of their ways. Only then will the full realization hit people. Not only of their wrongdoing, but more so, the fact they lived a short life of riches, deception, arrogance and superficiality, in exchange for eternal life of peace and prosperity, in an idyllic Garden of Eden. None of us can experience the full promises spelled out to us by God, until the battle between good and evil is finally over.
What is seventy or eighty years of life in this corrupt world, even if it is steeped in elitism, or self indulgence, if it is also combined with the rejection of God? How could it possibly be compared to the gift of eternal life? We are on a dry run, or a practice session for the renewal of our characters. Even if the rich who reject Christ do have opulence, money and luxury now, they will never have pain free resurrected bodies, or experience all the promises God has in store for us.
We are told to pray for them and warn them, and I can certainly see why.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Since I have had the lengthy and painful experience of cult indoctrination by a high school teacher who attached himself to me for life, through collusion with a member of my own family, this educational video is very accurate.
I did not join a cult. I was targeted by a high school teacher in a public school, and forcibly indoctrinated and thought reformed. I was trapped and ensnared without realizing the extent of the exploitation and scheme involved. The teacher was steeped in the Exclusive Brethren religion, and seemed to think that made him into some kind of god.
As time has gone on, especially since freeing myself of the forced association, I have realized all the complex, manipulative, deceptive and destructive tactics that were used to force compliance and subservience.
This educational video should be made widely available, as it covers the range and depth of cult practices. They know exactly what they are doing. We would be wise to learn about those tactics, so we are better equipped to protect ourselves, and less afraid to report it to authorities at the onset.
I recognize so many of the tactics in hindsight. The infiltration of family. The over taking of identity, and attempts to force a name change. The constant repetition of blatant lies. The ganging up on, and “us against them” mentality. The constant demands to “keep me busy”. The constant derision, and accusations towards our mother.
The supreme arrogance and elitism, where you are expected to obey and comply because they know what is best for you. The dehumanizing aspects of being treated as a non person without the right to say no. The threats and ominous implications, if you ever even think about getting free of it. If so, I would be rejected by my own family, and God, and cast into outer darkness until I came to my senses. I would be hunted down, as he often said, like the true wolf he is. The gaslighting, and constantly making you doubt your own judgement, feel guilty, bad, unworthy, and wicked, followed by the demands for gratitude. Like this cult mentality was the one and only saviour and rescuer…
He had such hatred for our mother, yet he did not even know her. I was not sure if he had ever met her. She certainly did not know him, other than to call him a lying screwball. The teacher would tell me how much it hurt him and his equally cultish wife, if I even thought of “that wicked woman” as my mother. It grieved them deeply, as she was not redeemable according to them, and I was guilt tripped for daring to think my own mother was my mother. She was my mother. it was a fact, and I should not have been shamed over it by this masquerading religious zealot.
We only have one mother, and the cult teacher’s wife was most certainly not my mother. These people were only slightly more than a decade older than me. I was sixteen at the time. How did they miraculously give birth to one of his students? Yet I was supposed to consider their hurt feelings and deny that my mother was my mother. How absurd. They would feign pain and hurt feelings, like acknowledging my mother as my mother was a cardinal sin. Our mother was alive, and she was lucid right up until she died in 2007. This cult assault was not only one me, it was very much an assault and punishment on our mother as well. I was the apple of her eye, and looked just like her. In fact, from the time I can remember, I was told that I was the spitting image of her. Our Swedish grandmother nicknamed me “Little Joy” when I was just a toddler.
Another one of the teacher’s common themes he constantly repeated was that I had the exact same IQ as his wife. When I would ask, “how is that even possible?” He would puff himself up and repeat it with emphasis saying it was “the EXACT SAME” daring me to defy his teacher authority, long after I left high school. He was staring me down and repeating this lie when I was thirty-five years old.
His wife never skipped any grades, and did not excel in any way. She was boring as can be, but she loved the claim of having the exact same IQ as me. I found it incomprehensible that these people would not even allow me to have my own IQ. If I became distressed over it all, they would claim I was “emotionally disturbed” or “mentally ill”. So the circus continued, round and round. I knew they would be at every family function, so how could I tell them to pound sand? Go away. Leave me alone. They would not listen to me. He was in collusion with my own family. Such was the trap I found myself in.
Plus the family member who set this up with the teacher is very powerful with tremendous influence, which increased exponentially over the years. I was ganged up on, not only by the teacher, the family, but the community, the school, and extended family as well. No one could kick this teacher to the curb. He was the all consuming god over my life.
They try to lock you in for life with no escape route. The professor in the link below describes the cult leader as being charismatic in his coercion. In my case the teacher was not charismatic, but was authoritarian, domineering, andthreatening. He could not have coerced or forced me otherwise, because my intuition did recognize the deception and contradictions. He most certainly did not have a charismatic personality. Quite the opposite in fact. I did argue with him, and try to reason with him many times. But I had no voice.
I said no, but he would not take no for an answer. He repeatedly kept me up all night with brainwashing torture. My younger brother had just been killed in a car accident. I was completely and totally exhausted, trying to get through grade twelve, so I could get out of town. Each time I thought I might escape him, I was dead wrong. I had no idea the extent of collusion and scheming that was going on behind my back.
When I became determined, and tried to assert myself, I got ganged up on even more. In addition to being accused of being mentally ill, I was the biggest trouble maker, the cause of all conflict, and wicked like our mother. I was blamed and shamed with nowhere to turn.
I ended up putting up with this coercive relationship for years, just so I could be a member of my own family. I hoped and prayed they would just drop it and let me go. I hoped they would accept the truth, and go live their own lives with their own family. No one tore the teacher’s family apart. Yet he constantly infiltrated our family to the point he was the all important deity and god-father. Just the thought of that man staring at me, and telling me I am his daughter, sickens me to the core. After awhile, even though he was invited to every family function, and repeatedly invited himself into my home, I could not even stand to look at him.
But even so, I did not fully comprehend the scope of it until I got away from it all. Now I do understand the diabolical nature of the plot over my life. By the grace of God, they did not win. It was a classic example of the fowler’s snare.
When I finally did shut the door on the cult teacher, the punishment phase began, and is ongoing. But I had to escape in order to survive, so I also have to endure the punishment. The threats he made throughout my life, as to what would happen if I ever tried to escape, did come true to an extent.
But the one thing that did not come true, is that I was not rejected by God, and have not been cast into outer darkness. The difference is, I no longer serve the cult masters, and have been shown more of the truth of the gospel. It has strengthened my faith. So the term “the truth shall set you free” does apply to my own life. For that I am most thankful, as I could never have escaped the clutches of the cult mentality, abuse of power, conflict of interest, deception, and dominance otherwise.
I encourage all people to watch this informative video linked below by Margaret Thaler Singer of International Cultic Studies Association. She is a professor and educator at the University of California, Berkley.
Amber is one of the fascinating organic materials that is turned into some spectacular jewelry as well as some odd looking pieces. When you consider there are around a hundred fossil tree resins, it certainly adds to the confusion.
Another thing about amber, is that like diamonds and gold, the supply chain is not always ethical. Some of it is extracted using child labour, or in areas of extreme danger and conflicts. The 1990’s brought about a greater interest in amber following the movie Jurassic Park. There are now more concerns about the extraction, and export of amber, along with global efforts to set up guidelines for identification, and ethical supply chains.
The amber with the most scientific intrigue are the pieces that capture insects, flora and fauna, and especially full insects, like ants and spiders. The most common insect found in amber are flies. Who would have guessed it?
And even more likely, you will see bits and pieces of insects, like the legs, wings or partial bodies. When the insect gets caught in the resin, they struggle to get free. And then, if they remain trapped, they go through years and years of fossilization, so it is not like putting a fly in a jar. The insects can give information about extinct and unusual species, as well as timelines thought to go back as far as the dinosaur age.
But as with all things, in addition to unethical extraction and collection processes, there are also many fakes. Now that I have looked at and handled numerous types of vintage and antique amber jewelry, and especially in doing the macro photography, I have a better sense of what is real and what is fake. Some of the amber is truly incredible as it glows from deep within. You can see a tiny world captured in time, with many interesting organic inclusions. When photographed in sunlight it emanates a deep and captivating glow.
Today I was looking at an amber pendant necklace online that appears to have miniature daisy-like flowers inside. Although it is very pretty, and also very expensive, it seemed somewhat doubtful to me that a bouquet of daisies would be inside a three inch piece of amber. The claims are that it is certified authentic, and the seller is a member of the RJC, or the Responsible Jewellery Council.
The RJC was founded in 2005, and has members like Tiffany, Cartier and many other famous jewellery retailers. However when I looked at their website and membership prices, it was not clear to me who did the certification, or how the organization goes about the policing of certification to prevent fake pieces, or unethical supply chains. It appears that what is required, is to purchase a membership.
An article in the Guardian cast some doubt on the RJC organization, which reinforced some of what I was discerning when looking at the high ticket items. Although I cannot claim to know one way or another, it is certainly a buyer beware type of market.
The amber item that came to my attention first, with the arrangement of pretty flowers inside, came from a seller in Hong Kong. The pendant is priced around $25,000 US. Although I cannot divulge the entire listing as it could be a deterrent to their sale, and reputation. But I do think it is fair to ask the questions. The write up on the piece describes it as “Certified 187 carat natural amber”. It goes on to elaborate further. A copy and paste of the write-up states the following:
“This is a statement piece! Here is a super nice, large piece of certified natural Amber (187.18 cts). The key is that it is certified natural! A large percentage of Ambers for sale in the market are man made and not natural. The Amber is transparent to translucent with natural inclusions. The flowers in this large certified natural amber was carved by a master carver. It is absolutely spectacular. Super realistic!”
Now my question is, how can it be certified natural amber with fossilized inclusions that were carved by a master carver?! First it says a large percentage of amber on the market is manmade, not natural. Then it claims the flowers inside the amber are manmade. The ambiguity and contradiction flows from one sentence to the next. Yet, apparently this listing has passed several levels of scrutiny.
The other issue is that according to the International Gem Society amber is sold by gram, not by carat. Amber is very light and will float in salt water. The general ratio is that one gram is around five carats, but since carats are a measure of purity, it is difficult to assign it to amber.
I always thought the whole concept of finding natural amber was because it had inclusions trapped into the resin and fossilized “as is”. Otherwise how can it possibly be 100% certified natural amber, if what is inside it was made be a master carver? For twenty-five grand you also get a braided cord to go with it.
After looking at a few more very expensive necklaces on the same site, I looked at another necklace listed for a walloping $253,000.00 US. In this case the photography was not even professionally done, which is surprising given the price tag. This necklace was described as being 18K gold with diamonds, not in settings, but drilled nuggets, that were added to the chain of the necklace. It was accompanied with a notice of RJC certification.
The RJC certification was of interest to me, so I looked it up to see how they follow up on the certifications. I wanted to see if items are actually proven to be authentic, and validated by this organization. The idea of purchasing a membership, and then using the membership as a claim of certification for a $253,000 necklace, does not inspire confidence in what you are buying, unless there is a way of enforcing compliance with established standards. I have no idea one way or another about the value or authenticity of the pricey necklace, but it did make me curious, the same as the master carver inserting pretty flowers into a piece of “natural amber” also made me wonder.
The following article about the RJC will help expand our horizons on the topic:
I think from the time we are five or six years old, we will look at something in awe, and say – “But – Is it real?”
Nowmore than ever before, we are inundated with fakes; from fake news, to fake gems, fake art, and fake prophecies. You name it, out of whatever was invented, thought of, created or sold, chances are there are many fakes.
A few years ago, I went through a museum in Houston, Texas. They had transported artifacts and gold jewellery that had been stored in a vault in Western Asia, or Persia for thousands of years. It was a stunning showcase of intricately made gold jewellery and sophisticated art objects. One of the items was a large bronze bowl with carved fish swimming in a circle. It had an ingenious mechanical method built into it, to make the fish swim non-stop without having to wind it up or do anything to keep it going. The jewellery on display must have been worth a fortune, as some of the pieces were very large and elaborate.
In comparing some of the ancient, with more recent products, we certainly do not seem to be progressing that much. Perhaps the earth’s resources, and conflict laden areas have become too difficult to maintain, or pursue the opulence we once had.
It does seem that the workmanship of many antiques, and even vintage costume jewellery supersedes what is made today. Labour costs, resources, and reliability, or credibility of supply chains seems to be an increasingly complex hindrance. The earth’s natural resources have been tapped to the nth degree. Even to the extent many will opt for an illusory reproduction.
It takes us back in time, to our wide eyed childhood wonder and exclamations, “Is it real”? There is much to be learned about our natural world, and all the beauty that comes from organic materials. We end up with a blend of science and art.
Most of us think of amber as being honey coloured, but amber comes in many different colours depending on where it came from. It can be yellow, orange, red, green, brown, blue or black. Some examples of different colours:
Another one of the expensive amber necklaces I looked at online today is made of huge butterscotch coloured rock-like shapes of amber. The design was something that looked like it would be a perfect addition to Wilma’s costume for a rerun of a Fred Flintstone cartoon. If he brought the necklace home as a gift for Wilma, I can just feature her and Pebbles exclaiming “Is it real?”
The following jewellery items in the Quiet West Collection contain amber. No spiders got caught in these pieces:
Faux amber? Below is a link to an an example of faux amber, because how could an elephant be caught in tree resin? It could be carved amber, so I jest. Regardless, there are some amber jewellery items that are very difficult to be sure of because they have the glow, as well as organic inclusions. Some fakes are more obvious, some are different types of tree resins, and some are very similar to the real thing. Many smaller amber cabochons are placed into sterling silver settings, commonly the art nouveau designs with vines and leaves to accent the organic origins of amber.
This final link shows an antique necklace that I have listed as faux amber, but it is one of the more ambiguous items, and requires additional research. It has the properties of real amber, with flora and fauna inclusions as well as an antique clasp. So this one I have to admit is still an enigma:
Another intriguing resin set, which I query as being copal, because it has what I consider to be organic features, and an inner glow. I have seen a fair bit of plastic jewellery over the years, to include a range of thermoset plastics, lucite, bakelite, celluloid, and sophisticated modern day resin jewellery etc. but have not come across plastic like this set before. So it too, really piques the curiosity, as far as resins are concerned.
Another questionable blue amber pair of earrings are in the collection and left me scratching my head. They definitely have organic features, and could be from the Dominican where blue amber is sourced from. But, I cannot be sure, so these too, need more research. They are pretty cool, and the most beautiful shade of blue:
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Tattoos have become so mainstream we seldom examine the symbols or artwork unless they are on someone we know well, or the image is very outstanding and clear. Often people who are heavily inked have many tattoos, and you cannot really see what they are, or where one begins, and another one ends. They almost all tell a story of some sort.
Most modern tattoos carry significance to the person who opted to get the tattoo. They either like the artwork, or they have them done to commemorate something meaningful to them. This holds true whether it is an innocent appreciation for a certain image, as well as for those in gangs, prison, the navy, and so on.
One woman I talked to who was covered in tattoos told me she came from a very religious family with a domineering and controlling mother. She said once she got her fist tattoo and it enraged her mother, she was elated at being able to have control over her own body, so she got herself plastered in tattoos. I guess for parents it is a lesson of sorts. I recall another mother who was mortified when her son came home with a huge frog tattooed across his back. If anything it does reinforce that people can, and will do what they choose when it comes to their own bodies.
Because I worked as an RN for many years before they realized that some of the unregulated tattoo methods were contributing to Hep C, AIDs and other blood born pathogens, due to improper techniques or sterilizing of equipment, it probably gave me an ingrained prejudice that no longer applies. The single use needles and ink pots have reduced the risks associated with tattoos.
However the skin is the bodies largest organ, and if most of the skin’s surface is covered in tattoos, it is reasonable to consider there might be damage to the epithelium, or some of the ink could conceivably be absorbed into the bloodstream or lymphatic system. Also, some people are more prone to forming keloid or scarring, while others are not. The surface of the skin does have a rich supply of capillary blood vessels. But the skin also has very good healing properties, and people have adapted to tattoos on the skin for thousands of years.
Tattoos have been commonplace for thousands of years, so no one can really deny any person the right to their choices regarding body art. But some people may not know the historical significance of certain imagery, and it might be wise to do some research first.
Some people immediately recognize jail house tattoos. Not only do they get recognized by those with knowledge of being in prison, but they are also known to law enforcement and educators.
Those who are aware of the meanings behind various tattoos will recognize navy, military and distinctive tattoos affiliated with certain gangs.
I never really knew what most tattoos meant, but always thought some of them looked rather sinister. I also recall people who landed up in hospitals who had to get surgery with incisions through some of those tattoos, which disfigured them in grotesque ways.
In one case, back in the eighties, a couple were in a motorcycle accident. They had massive tattoos, and I recall doing dressing changes on a huge Tasmanian she devil that was tattooed from the hip to the knee. The way it looked, and the distortions from surgery and all the road rash, as well as the difficulty in seeing the actual skin colour, was quite mind boggling to me at the time.
I also recall pregnant women with tattoos on their abdomen becoming stretched, and then changed dramatically if they had to go for surgery. In one case a woman had a large dolphin tattooed around her naval.
The history of tattoos goes way back to the beginning of mankind, and has its roots in the worship of prehistorical gods, who were believed to ward off evil spirits, or bring about good fortune. In some cases they marked an association with certain tribes, fertility, or fierce warnings about cannibalism and head hunters. Sometimes they were used as branding, the same as was done for livestock to signify ownership. In other cases, such as in the early Roman empire, they were used to show if taxes had been paid.
Indeed they have found mummified people in tombs going back thousands of years, with numerous body tattoos. Many of them were of religious significance. Others were thought to be the markings from certain shamans, who were making attempts to heal or drive out certain spirits. Some of the body art was tied to warriors and signified the ferocity of those tribles.
As time went on, during the early 1900’s into the 1940’s people would get covered in tattoos and go into carnival shows. They became a symbol of rebellion popular among hobos, carnies, and ex-convicts.
In spite of the fact tattoos have become more mainstream, it is a good idea to be aware of the meanings behind certain imagery. It would be prudent to avoid certain gang associated tattoos, as well as the ones that carry a significant meaning related to crimes and jail time.
Some of the more dangerous ones include the tear drop on the face. Apparently they mean the person has killed someone, or been the victim of a sexual assault while in prison. The cobweb design was originally linked to sailors on long voyages, symbolic of the length of time at sea, metaphorically, so long as to form cobwebs on their skin. But they also became symbolic of serving long stints in prison, and in more recent cases have a greater association with prison, than they do with the navy.
A three leaf shamrock is apparently linked to the Irish mafia, so it might not be a good idea, especially if you are a traveller, to get such a tattoo. They also have ties to the Aryan brotherhood, satanic symbols, and other sinister affiliations.
If not for doing this bit of research, I would never have known some of these images are as significant as they are. Another one is the dream catcher, or Indian warrior. It is another indication of crimes, overt rebellion against laws, and time spent in prison. Barbed wire is a Russian symbol that was tattooed on inmates who were given a life sentence, and represents they had nothing else to lose.
Cat tattoos represent a prisoner’s life as a thief. The cat imagery varies in the extremes of what they mean depending on how they are drawn. A cat with a top hat represents a criminal who hates and defies the law. A single cat means the person has worked alone as a cat burglar. Multiple cats mean they worked as part of a gang of thieves. So much for grannies who are cat lovers! Stick with pins on your lapel, or T-shirts with kitty cats and balls of yarn.
The scarab also indicates a history of thieving, in particular being adept at pickpocketing. Stars too, are a symbol of life in prison. The number of points on the stars indicates the number of years incarcerated. The bigger the stars or the more stars, the more seasoned the inmate. Furthermore if the stars are on the knees it means they will never bend to the police. If on the shoulders, it means they are a high ranking or highly respected criminal.
Manacles indicate a person has served five or more years in prison. Likewise military symbols also denote high ranking criminals not to be messed with. Skulls or skull and crossbones are symbols of murder.
Crowns with sub titles of King and Queen are also symbols to avoid. The five point crown is associated with the People Nation’s Gang, as well as Latin gangs. The roots date back to gangs in Chicago in the 1950’s.
Another interesting thing to note, is that when it comes to romance scammers, they often tell their victims they can be their queen, and they will be their king. It might be an indirect association with organized crime, because many romance scammers are tied to organized crime.
If someone calls a person they just met online a cupcake, I guess it means they have an affiliation for trans fats! Or maybe they are just goofy, and find flattery in a cupcake. Who knows for sure, but it is hard to understand why people fall for syrupy queen of cupcake flattery. They might as well drool over the tooth fairy. If someone tells you to be their queen, think twice, or check to see of they are from Nigeria. If they tell you to be their princess, I don’t know, maybe they are notching you up to being the queen.
Three small dots in the shape of a triangle would not trigger alarm bells for most of us who are not clued into the meaning of such things. Like cats and crowns, who would ever guess that such a symbol would have a universal meaning among gangs and law enforcement. It means “mi vida loca” which translates into crazy lifestyle of crime syndicates. The three dots is among the first and most common tattoos a gang member will get. It is commonly placed around the eyes or on the hands of the gang member so they can identify each other. Some people, to include certain celebrities get these tattoos to be cool. It’s probably not a good idea.
Clowns and joker tattoos are especially bad in countries like Brazil, as they symbolize pride in having killed a policeman. Understandably the Brazilian police do not take kindly to tough looking people wearing clown tattoos. Some reports claim they have been scraped off followed by being rubbed with alcohol. Or if a person got into an altercation with police, they might be more likely to get shot, never mind the alcohol rub.
Certain skull designs are associated with specific and well known gangs such as the Hell’s Angels. The death head skull has long colourful wings. If a person gets one of these tattoos without being a qualified member of the gang, they might get them unceremoniously removed with a hot iron.
In addition, the Hell’s Angels, have been known to launch legal action against anyone using their branding for commercial purposes. This includes Disney, Saks Fifth Avenue, Alexander McQueen, and even Toys R’ Us.
These are just some of the examples of tattoos with hidden meanings that should be researched before getting any tattoo. No doubt the older and more historical imagery dating back to the ancient tribes, and worship of certain gods, are just as relevant, or even more so for those considering getting tattoos. I believe the rose has associations with the Rosicrucian cult. No doubt there are many other seemingly innocent symbols that might have associations with ancient pagan rituals.
Personally I would not have guessed cats, crowns or clowns carried such significant hidden meanings. But the border patrols and law enforcement in every country and city worldwide are familiar with the meaning of tattoos.
In fact if you watch true crime shows, you soon find out that many times when a victim is found dead somewhere without any ID, one of the first things they take note of, is if there are any tattoos. In many of those cases, the tattoos become a way of identifying the body. Often, it is a family member who knows immediately, it is their loved one, because even a small tattoo on the ankle, or some other place on the body is immediately recognizable. Family members know why the person has the particular tattoo, what it looks like, and where it is located.
Symbols have always carried great significance whether they are tattoos, or elsewhere. In many cases the true origin or meaning is unknown, and may be used innocently. However they could inadvertently provide an association with gangs or prisons that a person did not intend. This is especially so if they are worn by celebrities or used as branding for trendy or commercial purposes.
Design and art is part of our existence, and can be a source of fascination. In fact, all things contain patterns, to include what we see in nature, science, and art. We just need to be aware of the meanings associated with certain designs or arrangements.
If we happen to wear a T-shirt or buy a poster with a hidden design or sinister image, we can simply discard it. But when it comes to tattoos, they are much more permanent, so it is would be prudent for all people who are considering getting tattoos to research the designs, and be sure to avoid those with gang or prison associations. This would also include being sure not to get something that might cause an averse reaction, if you are crossing a border, or going into a country where they might mean something sinister to police or border officials.
As far as frogs are concerned, I am not sure of any gang associations, but in the book of Revelation, frogs represent unclean spirits, and of course dragons represent Satan or the antichrist. Horns also have a Biblical significance. In fact, it never ceases to amaze me how much imagery we are surrounded with, both in the real world and in the spiritual one. This article is just a small representation of the vast amount of symbology in our past and present world.
If something gives you pause, trust your discernment and intuition, and do some research before permanently having it etched into your skin.
The trend toward buying second hand goods has lost its stigmatization, and in the case of luxury brand items, the authentic brands made in France and Italy are very difficult to find anywhere else. Many of the original companies have gone out of business, or have quietly outsourced to China.
As far as eyeglass frames and vintage sunglasses, almost all are now made in China, to include Ray Ban, Oakley, Persol, Oliver Peoples, Coach, Prada, Chanel, and many others. These companies were recently purchased by Luxottica, which is made in China.
Occasionally you will see vintage sunglasses advertised as new dead stock. These websites make the claim that huge numbers of brand new designer sunglasses were found in a warehouse somewhere. If you think about it, how likely is it that a famous brand like Christian Dior or Valentino would have left a warehouse full of sunglasses in a storage room in New York City for fifty years? If it sounds implausible, it probably is. Such claims are most likely promoting and selling mass produced knock-offs.
Even though we have become used to the fact Luxottica now makes most luxury brands of eyeglasses, there is still a niche market for those who want to find the authentic brands made in the original country of origin. For eyeglass frames and sunglasses, the countries with the best reputations for both style and craftsmanship, are Japan, France, USA and Italy. You may also come across upscale brands from Germany, Switzerland, Denmark and Sweden.
Therefore the hunt for eyeglass frames made in those countries is part of the vintage niche market of hard to find authentic brands.
One of the most positive directions to help with the reuse and recycling of vintage eyewear is the fact you can now send your frames to online companies who will put the lenses of your choice into the frames. You can choose the lens, send in your prescription, and get various different coatings, including blue light filters, for a fraction of the cost. An example of such a service is called Dr. Lens Change and is located near Vancouver:
This service, as well as many other similar online lens replacement services, offers sunglass replacement lenses, as well as prescription lenses, which means those old eyeglass frames can have the lenses replaced. When this service was first introduced, they were limited to certain types of frames you could have lens replacements put into, but in recent years they have included all types of frames, to include rimless and curved.
I think the most difficult to replace are the lenses with significant curvatures, so if you have frames like that, check with them first. Dr. Lens Change claims they can replace lenses into any shape of frame. They also have an online chat, so you can ask questions if you have any concerns before sending them in.
For those who have sunglasses in designer frames they love, but need prescription lenses, or have a scratch in an old pair, you can now have those lenses replaced. They also offer non prescription replacements and transition lenses. If you wear prescription eyeglasses, you simply send them a copy of your prescription along with the frames. They also offer free shipping, and discounts if you order more than one pair.
Another interesting development in the world of technological advancement, is certain companies will now offer online eye testing, which I am not prone to promote at this stage, because a smart phone or computer simply does not have the diagnostic equipment to fully assess a person’s vision and eye health. However, I do believe they could provide a rudimentary assessment as to whether or not you do need to see an ophthalmologist.
When searching for authentic designer brands, or funky eyeglass frames from the 1950’s or 1960’s, you will not likely find them en masse on a website claiming they are new dead stock. Dead stock means they are no longer in production but remain in inventory.
All famous luxury brands are still in production, therefore it is a contradiction to claim they have massive quantities of dead stock from the mid-century era. The cost of storage alone would be a strong deterrent for any company. If they actually did store rooms full of inventory for fifty years in a major city, the storage costs would be astronomical and impractical over such a long period of time. Although I don’t know for sure what dead stock really means, I am skeptical of their claims.
As with most things vintage and niche market, you will find the unique one of a kind sunglasses and eyeglass frames through sellers who source them out one by one. When I look at eyeglass frames and sunglasses, other than condition, my number one concern is to make sure they are made in Italy, France or Japan.
I do have a pair of Graffix sunglasses, and will probably list them in the near future, even though they are made in China. They were originally made in Germany. In this case, they are an interesting steampunk design, with part tortoise and part wire frame. I do not know if it is possible to carry a wide range of interesting frames without having a few that are made in China.
I realize not all people are as fussy about avoiding the made in China labels as I am, therefore if the frames are unique, I will list the occasional pair, but will always disclose where they were made, and price them accordingly.
Eyeglass frames are fun to look at, and shop for, because they are so distinctive, like an added facial feature, and really reflect the personality and style of an individual. In fact they are so impressive they can change your overall appearance just by switching the frames. Not all current trends suit all face shapes. The wayfarer look may not suit a small face with sharp features. Some people look better in oval or round frames, and others look better in rectangular or square frames. No one should be limited by advertising trends or what’s hot at Costco. There are many more choices, if you are aware of the fact you can now have lens replacements in any style, or any age of eyeglass frames.
We all recall or know about some of the iconic looks created by certain musicians and Hollywood films. John Lennon, Men In Black, Audrey Hepburn, Top Gun, Blues Brothers, Clark Kent, and many others, created a memorable and distinctive persona depicting a certain pizzaz and personal style.
Whether you are drawn toward a sleek cool look, or a funky spirited appearance, or an understated intellectual, or nuanced and nerdy – you can find these fashion statements in the second hand market. Other than in old Hollywood movies, or on vintage album covers, you are not likely to see them everywhere you go. One definite added bonus of the vintage market, is in finding what is unique to your own face and style.
The Quiet West selection is always adding new frames, and various other vintage items. Check out the sunglasses and eyeglass frames with specs from the late 1800’s to date. You will find authentic designers from the obscure to the sublime to include Ray Ban, Oakley, Chanel, Vuarnet, Ferragamo, Thierry Mugler, Roberto Cavalli, and Celine, as well as less known exotic vintage brands like Sun Mode, May, and Matsuda.
A little bit of interesting history from the Hutchinson News in Kansas tells us about the origin of the oldest pair in the collection, Henry Zinn Jewelers & Optometrist who started making eyeglasses in 1890:
The ChatGPT is the new AI technology with a grasp on language, at least enough to string words together, and create written content. I often wonder how it will pan out in the coming years. Is it really all it is cracked up to be?
There are many reasons I would not bother with it: For starters I prefer to do my own writing, and I think it would be a hassle to ask a bunch of questions to get a computer generated response, as opposed to thinking for myself.
I do not believe AI can contribute authenticity in emotion, memory or subtle nuances of language. Although I know it would have a greater memory capacity than humans because of all the stored knowledge, I do not believe it can make the same associations within the vat of stored memory. It could not possibly have the creative capacity, or the inspiration the human mind can have. It cannot really have much in the way of motive, although it could certainly have biases, which could construct a motive in a broad sense.
It does seem likely there would be certain biased responses. Or perhaps there might be directional elements, pointing the writer to certain conclusions, or insertions. But it does not have the capacity for human experience, and therefore it cannot apply common sense in the same way humans can.
Each human being carries in their own memory a unique set of experiences in life, and in some ways there is a genetic component as well. We tend to inherit certain traits, and perhaps even ancestral memories. A computer cannot capture those elements, especially if a person has a lot of experience, as well as strong emotion to go with the experiences, because the emotive aspects give rise to inspired works.
In addition, because human beings are relational, we are all affected by the interactions with others, which in turn influences our ideas. We are also shaped by what we learn and read about throughout our lives. We gain insight about a variety of topics throughout our careers. Depending on what the career is, it could add a great deal of experience to influence our thought processes. A career creates experience, observation, relational, and advanced learning, to insert into our repertoire of things to write about.
One of the most obvious problems in my mind, is that taking away our capacity to think and write for ourselves is not good for us. People program computers, therefore a human element is behind the ChatGPT processing, and it could rob people of critical thinking skills. In other words it could become a contributor to dumbing people down, as opposed to lifting them up.
Writing is about communicating. There is no lazy person’s front for good writing. Perhaps we have a weakness in grammar or tense. Or in structuring our content. But writing is a craft, and like all crafts you don’t get better at it by finding ways to skirt around the tasks of putting it all down, trying to make sense, organizing, editing, and so on.
ChatGPT would not be able to pick up on certain comparisons, metaphors, nuances, sarcasm or humour. One of the things I enjoy most about writing, is the flashes of comparison, the poetry, and the emotional involvement. I don’t want to turn those things off, and seek a computer generated response.
Most of the topics we write about, are written about by thousands of other people. If we do not add our own individual perspective on the topic, then what is the point?
The human brain has more capacity for memory, inspiration, associations, and creativity than we give ourselves credit for. ChatGPT may take away some of the freelancer work. It may be used in Universities and other areas where a template, or a preconceived context and conceptualization is the expectation. Universities are not the best place for establishing original, or individual thought processes anyway. People must clone their thoughts, and align them with the University, in order to graduate.
Language is the fundamental basis for all human development and growth. It is the tool of propaganda, war and atrocities. It is how civilizations rise, and how they dissolve. It is how we learn, and how we communicate ideas to others.
Language is full of gradation and refinements. According to the dictionary, we have 171,146 words to draw on in the English language, in order to express ourselves. The arrangement and use of those words is up to us. Now it is also up to ChatGPT as well.
The Bible contains 783,137 words. I find it to be quite interesting to have almost five times the number of words in the Bible as there are in the dictionary. Of course the Bible does repeat many words, so unlike the dictionary, each word is not entered just once. But regardless, it does strike a note of awe surrounding the depth of learning and wisdom contained within the Bible.
Of all the writing done throughout the history of mankind, nothing could ever emulate what is written in the Bible. The complexity of the meaning in much of the imagery, the many parables, metaphor, switching between literary and figurative, changing tense, prophecies, variety of literary styles, as well as the fact there are certain mysteries no one can fully understand, makes it wholly unique. In addition there are many translations, and even in those translations, some of the literary form, and context can be lost. The Bible is far more brilliant than anyone can really even fathom.
The Bible proves to us that much of what is written by human beings can be influenced by divine inspiration, or insight. It also demonstrates that the comprehension of the words in the Bible are not only intellectual, but spiritual as well.
How can an AI ChatGPT program reach into the spiritual realm of divine inspiration and understanding? It is not to suggest any of us can compare what we write to what is in the Bible. But for those who believe, study the Bible, and have a desire to serve God, the personal and spiritual beliefs we have will depend on God’s word. We are more likely to be spiritually influenced in our minds and hearts, which in turn will determine what we write about, and how we write it.
One of the main issues for me with AI programmed writing, is the hidden source, as well as the fact it cannot contain a deeper context of the human condition or spiritual beliefs.
One thing I have noticed, especially in MSM this past few years, is how the message is crafted to steer us toward certain beliefs. Sometimes it is done with an incredible amount of complexity and deception. We have been funnelled into accepting certain belief systems, even if our common sense rails against it. We do not want to be intolerant, hateful, or judgemental. Even if we offer an opinion, it is subject to censorship. There are rapidly changing political ideologies we are expected to comply with.
A divergent opinion about political ideologies is not about hating people. It is trying to warn people about the direction things are going. We are on a slippery slope. Even more descriptive, is to realize that in some ways, we are on the precipice of a massive mudslide, a conglomerate of decaying, mucky, and acrimonious morals. They have become looser by the day, and are snowballing, with enough momentum to bury us. Our values are eroding faster than a clearcut hillside under the deluge of a forty day rainfall. The deluge is a delusion for some, and yet for the history of the world, it has already transpired. We should know better, but we don’t.
What is cloaked in compassion, such as in expanding MAID for mature minors and the mentally ill, is not really caring or concern. It is something else entirely. We are listening to some kind of opposite doublespeak normalizing what is not normal.
Language is a tool, and without a doubt it is the biggest hammer ever known to man. It can build us up, and it can beat us down. It can move things forward, or it can claw things backward. It can be used to build, and it can be used to demolish.
We are supposed to love one another. Dishonesty is not love. The way we use tools makes a big difference, as to what they turn out.
Bad language is not limited to cursing, and venomous vile rage toward others. It can be like bandits with pistols, plotting the next heist. It can be used to trap us in a corner, and play with us, like a cat does to a mouse.
And likewise loose lips can sink ships. So many people have trapped, and hung themselves with their own words. That’s why murderers, and guilty people are seldom put on the witness stand. They are fools, if they think they can talk their way out of it under cross examination. Few people have good enough memories to reiterate their own lies with accuracy.
Truth may not be desirable for some people, but it is so much easier to convey and maintain. Lies constantly change. They are a moving target. Whereas truth has the confidence to sit still. Truth does not have to hide. Lies on the other hand, seek the cover of darkness, and hope to never see the light.
Body language is a big part of written language as well. Even though many people don’t realize it, in a similar manner as reading body language in the flesh, the tone of writing can intuitively be picked up by the reader, based on what is in between the lines. The body of text does contain its own brand of body language, even if the reader has no idea what the writer even looks like.
Manipulation can be mastered, and mustered up covertly, then grow aggressively, spanning out, and spreading its influence like a poisonous invasive species does. Sometimes syrupy, and simpering words can sting like the giant hogweed we happen to brush up against, on our journey through life.
Words can be majestic, uppity, ill-defined, and arrogant enough to make the reader feel inferior. Then to avoid sounding dumb, they accept the article, or components of it, giving it high praise. They see words they seldom see, and even have to look them up, to find out what the heck they mean.
Surely it must mean the writer is brilliant. No it does not always mean the writer is a virtuoso. He or she might have a dazzling, ingenious use of words and a clever mind. Again they might not. They could just as easily use a power thesaurus as most writers do, and pick and choose the lofty and more clandestine words, instead of using plain language.
If someone uses their intelligence and writing ability to deceive, or to push a hidden agenda, people are often impressed with the exceptional vocabulary. We are more likely to believe someone who is educated and intelligent, especially if they have status and degrees. But if their motives are not good, or if they use sophisticated language as a way to sucker people into accepting nefarious ideologies, then they are worse than a moron. Far worse.
Behind all language, there is a motive. If the motive is to love one another, we will be honest, reflective, transparent, and well-meaning in our intent and use of language. Not all of our ideas will be well received, and as long as we understand our own limitations in the use of language, we should be able to expand on what we see as good. This is directly opposed to allowing what is not good to overrun our sensibilities, and obligation to use our intellect, and communication skills to help protect innocent people.
Good language is emotional, and inspired by love for others. Often those who are living an alternative lifestyle underneath the guise of acceptance, are becoming increasing marginalized, by the very forces that are promoting it all. I feel compassion for the people, especially young people, who fall victim to deceptive and life altering ideologies.
If we are honest, we can all look back at foolish decisions, fleeting ideas, angry outbursts, and a wide variety of other pitfalls. If a poor decision is made, we can recognize it and turn away from whatever caused it. People can recover from addictions, lifestyle choices, poor diet, unhealthy habits, etc.
But if decisions are irreversible such as gender change surgeries, and MAID, then the opportunity to change direction, or abandon something harmful, or any further choice in the matter is irrevocably taken away. Some decisions cannot be reversed, therefore the impact of those decisions is hefty, with an eternal rippling effect. If you talk to people, or know people who were suicidal at one time, but overcame it to lead a vibrant life, you know how temporary some emotions can be.
The same with body dysphoria. With gender change, there are many regretters, because they realize the surgery and physical changes may not be what they expected, and may not have helped how they feel about themselves. There are many types of body dysphoria, to include weight, and general appearance. If not for the fact people are insecure about themselves, the plastic surgery industry would not be thriving as much as it is.
My guess is that there is not one among us who has not embarked on a futile quest of some sort. We are far too short-sighted and limited to see what lies ahead of us. How many people seek riches to the exclusion of all else, and yet find it does not really fill the void within them?
The sea of humanity is one struggling pilgrimage, filled with illusory goals, both physical and spiritual. We don’t have all the answers as fallible human beings. Therefore it stands to reason AI programs like ChatGPT don’t have all the answers. Those algorithms are generated by equally errant human beings, who are not likely to fully connect all the dots either.
I am not anti-technology obviously, as I do spend a fair bit of time on my website, doing research, etc. I think like all tools, we use them in a way to achieve certain results, and there is nothing wrong with that. Even so, I do not bulk edit photos, or use a program to eliminate the work involved. The tools are not there to remove the work, but rather to enable it to be done, and improve the appearance. Like writing, you try to make improvements so your work is not in vain, and so you can learn in the process.
However, I sense there is a dark side to some of the components of AI. Because I have never used ChatGPT, and do not intend to use it, I cannot really say if it represents a sort of science fiction, dark emergence of technological takeover of the human mind. I think we need to protect our minds, and trust our intuition. My guess is of all things it may be lacking, it would be the least likely to have intuition. So if it really is a game of whack-a-synapse, let the intuition get there first!
Even so, one of the verses it does bring to mind is in the book of Ephesians in the Bible. Plus I do not want to turn over my thought processes to something as complex and gargantuan in scope as ChatGPT, and let it write for me. There is a work ethic involved. If something is quick and easy, it probably does not have lasting value.
Writing, like all things requiring creativity, is about patterns and arrangement. We take the word ingredients from thought formations, and organize them by design. One person may envision a landscape leading into the clouds, and another person may envision a field of wheat.
We ruminate, and come up with some kind of thought vision to describe where we are taking things, what we are mapping out, how we are going about it, and what the destiny is. The arrangement and design involving language is not just a pretty picture, it is a scope. It can be a telescope or a microscope. It can go up, down, backward, forward, left, right, and even into a spin.
As far as saying and writing things I regret, I wish I could dig a deep hole, throw them in, and turn them into compost. Like all things we do wrong, we also have to repent of the unkind, foolish, spiteful, distasteful words we have used. Then leave them behind. At least abandon the negative context in which they were used, and work towards improving our outlook. Just as we, as human beings, are constantly changing, writing is also a subset of a work in progress.
Language is limitless, and requires the least amount of real tools. Before computers, some of the greatest, and most incredible novels were drafted with nothing more than a pen and paper. The writer may have had a big leather bound dictionary sitting beside him or her, in the candle lit den.
Later it was a typewriter, and for the multitude of mistakes one makes, each sheet would have to be removed, and rewritten as many times as it took to get it right.
Now we have computers, quick access to spelling and grammar checks, as well as all the words in a thesaurus just a keystroke away. Has it turned out more brilliant writers than a hundred, or a thousand, or more years ago? I don’t think so. In fact in my opinion, all the technology might make things easier, but it does not enhance the writer’s ability. Too much technology, such as ChatGPT, might actually detract from the would be great writers of the future. Laziness is not a trait we should aim for, no matter what we are doing.
At the end of the ChatGPT line, I would be willing to bet a bit, or even predict, it has a few holes. It probably doesn’t have a wit, or even a smidgeon of humour or scorn. It can bore those poor words into oblivion.
I much prefer to just stumble along, and put the time and effort into writing my own material. To me, doing it any other way is kind of like getting up and lip syncing a song. My philosophy is; go ahead and sing it yourself, if you are going to sing it at all.
If anyone can come up with this very same article through ChatGPT – I will eat my (c)hat!
We should always be wary, and use a fair bit of caution when it comes to protecting and edifying our minds. In addition to the many verses in the Bible warning us to not be deceived, here is another one of the many verses, telling us what we wrestle against. At times we may wrestle against ourselves, other people, or even the wind, but we have a greater foe by far:
Ephesians 6:12 KJV “12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This case is probably one of the most excruciatingly horrific abuses of power, and betrayal of trust carried out in a modern day hospital setting. The trial is ongoing, but if the allegations are true, it is incomprehensible as to why anyone would intentionally cause harm to the most helpless and vulnerable people in a neonatal care unit.
Lucy Letby is a former NICU nurse who is being held without bail or in remand for the duration of her trial, which has been going on for months. She is accused of murdering at least seven babies, as well the attempted murder of at least ten more babies, who were under her care, or in close proximity, so she had some involvement in their care.
It is not clear if the neonatal deaths dropped back to previous levels after she was taken out of the loop, but it is consistently reported that the neonatal deaths increased dramatically for a period of time in 2015 and 2016, and in most, or all of the cases, she was present.
Initially most of the sudden collapses as they are called in the UK, or crashes as they are called in North America occurred during the night shift, with some of them happening on the day shift. This is because on the night shift there is less staff in general, and hospital administration does not work during the night.
It appears there was enough concern about her at one point to take her off night shift, and only allow her to work days. This was long after there were suspicions raised by doctors, and a few other nurses, noting that she was always the common denominator in so many of the unexpected collapses that would happen to infants under her care.
Although the trial is ongoing, and she has not been convicted yet, my guess is that she will be convicted, based on what I have read and heard about so far. It will be a very difficult case for the jury to process, partially due to all the medical terminology, and also because there can be an argument made for reasonable doubt in several of the cases. After all, these were premature babies, with complications and hardships most people cannot even fathom.
However if there is a conviction for one of the deaths, it does increase the probability that she was responsible for other deaths. I do think she will be convicted for at least one of them beyond a reasonable doubt.
It has been determined that the methods she used to kill the babies involved the introduction of a bolus of air into the bloodstream through an IV line, or through the nasogastric tube.
The IV lines are used to administer medication and fluid. The tubing is always run through a pump with a closed and clamped door, with the various settings on the outside of the pump. The settings limit the amount of IV fluid to a certain hourly amount, and are very accurate. In the old days nurses had to stand and count the drops per minute, and calculate the timing, being sure not to overload the patient, especially a neonate, with fluids. For all acutely ill patients, fluid balance is a vital component of managing care.
The IV pumps also detect any accidental air that may pass through the IV tubing. Air can get into the tubing when the IV is initially set up and primed. If there is even a small bubble of air in the tubing, it will not get past the alarm system on the infusion pump. It there is an air alarm, the IV has to be turned off, and the tubing removed from the pump so the air can be manually removed with a syringe. At least that’s the way it used to be, and I can’t really imagine how else the air would be removed. Perhaps there is now a better system to make sure no air gets into the line in the first place. But regardless, an accidental bolus of air in a neonatal ICU would be next to impossible.
I suppose it might be possible for air to be introduced during the insertion of an umbilical catheter, but it seems unlikely, because after the catheter is inserted it is hooked up like any other IV line. However those with more experience working in NICU might have plausible explanations.
There was another true crime case I watched where a nurse was convicted of killing adults in an acute care setting by giving boluses of air into the blood stream intravenously. The reason it is so deadly is because it causes an embolus to travel to the lungs or major arteries, and will cause respiratory or cardiac arrest, or in some cases a stroke.
The amount of air required to cause death is fairly significant. It is not a matter of allowing a few bubbles of air to pass through the tubing. In those cases the air is absorbed fairly quickly and is of little consequence. The introduction of enough air to cause serious harm or death, is a significant and intentional amount. In the case of the infants, it was determined to be at least 5ml IV and much more when administered into the stomach via the NG tube.
When you consider the size and weight of a premature baby, a 5ml bolus of air is a large amount. In addition to being accused of giving boluses of air into the IV tubing, it is also reported that she did a similar thing, adding excess amounts of air into the nasogastric tube. It is an absolutely horrific and sadistic thing to do, if she did in fact do that. A premature infant has a very tiny stomach and undeveloped digestive system. One can only imagine the pain and duress it would cause to distend the stomach with 45ml of air, on top of whatever the baby was being fed. These infants were described by other nurses, as well as the parents as being in extreme distress when these incidents happened.
This is not the first case of a nurse murdering patients, but it certainly highlights the absolute helplessness, and innocence of the victims, if they are placed under the care of a deranged killer.
In recent years the hospitals have tightened controls to prevent the diversion of drugs, or the easy access to anesthetic drugs, and various other drugs that can kill or harm patients. The systems now have multiple controls, with the access granted through various assigned codes, and will not permit access to drugs that are not ordered. They also must be signed out for a specific patient and documented. There are ways to override such a system, but if a drug is accessed and administered, it is much easier to track if there is an investigation. Drugs such as succinylcholine, which is an anesthetic drug that paralyzes the muscles of the diaphragm so a person cannot breathe, have been stolen from hospitals and used in murders.
Other drugs like potassium chloride and insulin have also been used to kill people. So I suppose in the mind of a warped killer nurse, the use of air must seem like a brilliant idea, as it cannot be tracked in the same way that drugs can be tracked within the system.
In my opinion, the case most likely to lead to a conviction, is the one where insulin was used, and is reported to have been added to a TPN IV bag. TPN stands for total parenteral nutrition, which is a bag of specially made up nutrients that are administered intravenously, as opposed to through the GI tract. The TPN bags were kept in the medication room fridge, which is also where the insulin was kept.
Insulin in addition to being kept in a fridge, typically has a rubber stopper on top, and is not a single use vial. The amount ordered is withdrawn into a 1ml syringe, and is never put into a TPN bag because it sticks to the bag and IV tubing, which makes it impossible to give an accurate dose.
Lucy Letby is the one who removed the TPN bag from the fridge, and documented administering it at a certain time. When the baby became suddenly ill, the blood sugars were checked, along with other lab work. The baby had very low blood sugars, and even with glucose, could not be stabilized.
There are many reasons a newborns blood sugar can drop. In fact any external stressors can cause the blood sugar to drop, and if it drops too low, can cause seizures, brain damage, and death.
Fortunately they did C-peptide tests on this infant, and were able to determine that the cause of the low blood sugar was due to insulin, introduced externally into the system, as opposed to an acute stress reaction that triggered a release of insulin internally. Therefore, I believe this is the one case that can convict her beyond a reasonable doubt.
The difficulty and complexity of all these different cases, as well as the sheer volume of harm done to so many infants, and often to one infant several times, makes it a very convoluted act to follow. The fact air was used as a primary source of injury also makes it more difficult to be sure of the cause. However there already has been precedent setting legal cases on the introduction of air emboli to cause death. It has already been proven in previous cases, so hopefully they can come up with enough compelling evidence to help the jury understand what happened.
Since the intentional introduction of a bolus of air into an IV is not a common practice, does not happen accidentally, and is very rare, it means the outcomes are not well known. Apparently it has been tested on rabbits and mice, where it is recognized it can cause sudden death. In some cases the large bubble of air will travel directly to the heart and cause immediate cardiac arrest. In other cases it may travel to the lungs. There would be different factors such as the amount, how fast it was injected, and how much of it was absorbed prior to entering a major organ or vessel.
What makes things so much more difficult, is that premature infants are so compromised, and have an uphill battle to overcome, just to get to a point of stability, followed by weight gain. There are many things that can go wrong, such as respiratory distress, infections, bowel problems etc. It is really quite remarkable how resilient so many of them are, and how well they respond to love and care. The parents are beside themselves with worry and exhaustion, yet their love is powerful enough to be shared and conveyed to the baby, and in turn, the baby responds and thrives. Such survivals in spite of so many odds, often does seem like one of the most enlightening miracles of God, because some of them only weigh a pound or two at birth.
Almost all things are directional. If a premature baby does make it past the first weeks of life without dying, each and every day is a step toward recovery, and thriving. As they become stronger, and respond to care and nutrition, they have a much better chance of doing well, and eventually catching up with other children.
It is not common for a baby to be doing well, off the ventilator and supplemental oxygen, gaining weight, and then to have a sudden collapse. Yet in the case against Lucy Letby, several of those babies were well on their way to a full life ahead of them, and being discharged into the care of a loving family. I can see why the alarm bells started going off for the administration, doctors and people she worked with, when babies who had been doing well, took a sudden and catastrophic turn for the worse while under her care.
There are far too many coincidences to overlook. She also left post it notes in her house admitting to it, and did a number of other questionable and unprofessional things. She repeatedly looked up the parents of the babies she had harmed on FaceBook. She took photos, and sent a long winded sympathy card to one of the parents. She hovered, and chatted with grieving parents to the point she was told to leave them alone.
What could have been going on in her psyche though? She is charged with murders that occurred between 2015 and 2016. Chillingly there might have been earlier cases, but perhaps she was not as bold or frequent in her assaults, and went undetected. Or she may have only targeted those with the least chance of survival initially, so it would be ruled a natural cause.
Or it is possible she went through some kind of crisis in her personal life that precipitated the onset of her rampage. She may have been rejected by a boyfriend. She may have been jealous of the family unit, and parents of the infants. She may have had an accidental pregnancy followed by an abortion or miscarriage. She may have had some kind of warped religious ideologies.
One of the true crime podcasts claimed she is an only child, and was doted on by her parents, who have been married long term, and raised her in a nice upper middle class neighbourhood. Another possibility crossed my mind, and is pure speculation, but I wondered if she was adopted. It was reported that her father is a business man, however there is very little information about the family background. Just that they published a lengthy amount of praise for their daughter when she graduated from nursing, citing her many qualities, along with a picture of her in the local newspaper.
If it is true, it does sound a bit over the top to put a list of her exceptional qualities in the newspaper. After all, most people are expected to grow up and get a job. Maybe she was in need of constant praise and attention, and was accustomed to being the centre of attention. Whatever the background, her parents must be going through anguish as the trial unfolds. It does sound like she has a good lawyer, who is refuting, and defending every single charge against her.
If she was adopted, it could help to explain a sense of rage, or abandonment she might harbour deep within her psyche. If her birth mother rejected her, and did not want her, maybe she developed anger toward birth parents who did want their children. It’s just a guess as to how she might have become so messed up. Most adopted children adapt just fine, but some struggle throughout their lives, and always wonder about their birth parents, and why they were put up for adoption.
In other cases, adopted children carry a genetic predisposition for certain behaviours, even if they never met their birth parents. There are cases where they grow up in a loving stable environment, yet end up in jail just as a birth parent did. It is uncanny how genetic factors can play a role in later behaviours, even if the child had no exposure to the biological parent. Yet there are many examples.
If she did in fact commit these crimes, she was a grand puppet master. She would have to be sadistic to the core. Not only did she inflict harm on the tiny babies, but she would have relished in her ability to get the entire ward ramped up, and rushing to the bedside to administer aid. They could not figure out what was going on, but secretly, she knew full well what happened. It may have aided her sense of superiority and control over the entire ward.
She would have seen the parents brimming with worry, the visits with expressed breast milk from the exhausted mothers, and seen their hope growing with every tiny sign and flicker of progress. She had the power to take it all away. She had the power to watch the rippling effect of her actions, all the while posing as a sweet, caring nurse.
She wrote on one of her post it notes that she was pure evil. Just as she knew the diagnosis of the infants she harmed, she also may have diagnosed herself with complete accuracy. All it took was a post it note. A psychiatrist could not be anywhere near as succinct, as she was about herself.
As this trial unfolds and comes to a conclusion, all we can hope for is that there will be justice, and safeguards put in place to prevent such atrocities. One of the biggest concerns is that she was still working long after the alarm bells started going off. Doctors took their concerns to the hospital administration, and were stifled.
One of the things we must always keep in mind, is what happened during the Nazi regime inside the walls of hospitals and institutions. There are many people who somehow convince themselves they are doing mercy killings with some kind of twisted justification. In Germany over 100,000 people were killed because they were disabled, weak or sick. Instead of helping people, they killed them, and took pride in how merciful they were.
During that time frame, most of the nurses involved in the death programs were never charged. A few were, and even among those who were not charged, some of them, remarkably admitted to not even having a guilty conscience.
Much as we might try to understand such aberrations of human logic, it is impossible to get inside the mind of those who kill. I do not believe in mercy killings. I think it is an abhorrent concept, and goes against the will and laws of God. I do not even believe in capital punishment, because God’s judgment is far beyond our comprehension or abilities.
Whatever her reasons were, and whatever the outcome of the trial, her life as she once knew it, is changed forever. The onset of and bulk of her crimes, or at least what she is standing trial for, began just four years after she graduated from nursing. She seemed to think she was an advanced super nurse, according to all the reports about her attitudes toward other nurses, yet she was barely wet behind the ears. Four years is not that much experience when you consider there are many nurses who work twenty, thirty, or forty years. They tend to be far more humble than this nurse was.
Multiple reports describe how Letby viewed herself as being vastly superior. Overall it seems like she had a great deal of insecurity, or she would not have tried to pretend to be a super nurse. Apparently in the UK there are band levels in nursing. A five band level is a general duty nurse, and a six band level is one with some additional training and experience. It seems to create a caste system of sorts.
The thing about neonatal ICU and severely compromised premature infants is that many nurses are afraid to be responsible for such a tiny helpless human being. They are afraid, because they are mortified at the thought of accidentally causing harm. So the nurses who were considered to be beneath her, were probably more cognizant of the level of responsibility involved, and therefore proceeded with much more caution and care.
Every profession has its power abusing rogues. From police officers, to teachers, lawyers, doctors and nurses, there is no shortage of examples of those will use their positions to harm, exploit, and even murder innocent victims. Pity them when judgement day arrives.
There is no doubt they will be held accountable for every last thing they did to betray trust, violate boundaries, and harm some of the most vulnerable and helpless people in all of God’s creation. It is really too bad they cannot screen out those who are likely to abuse power over others ahead of time. Such is the power of deception, and until it is all exposed, there may be no real way of knowing who harbours such dark and devious inclinations.
To an extent, the systems have to assume the education and motives of their employees is consistent with what is expected and conveyed. Some people are so good at deception, they go undetected, and are in fact protected by the very system that is supposed to protect the vulnerable populations they serve.
In addition, it takes a long time before hospital administration will resort to a police investigation. It means there will be public exposure, and a great deal of talk among the people who work there. It is devastating from a public relations perspective. It makes it even sadder, because in the meantime, more deaths occur. If Letby was investigated sooner, it may have saved several lives. In cases where she caused the dramatic collapses, and the child lived, some of them will have profound lifelong neurological deficits as a result of what she did.
The rippling effects of her actions are immeasurable. I cannot imagine what it must be like for the parents to follow the trial, knowing what was inflicted upon their child, and the horror of such a person being in charge of them without anyone to intervene. The parents would feel guilty because they were unable to protect their baby. Yet how could they? Who would ever expect such atrocities to occur in a NICU?
And even if they were there watching over their newborn, they still had to take bathroom breaks, go and eat, and possibly take care of other children. It would have taken a matter of seconds for Letby to give a bolus of air. Given the fact that nurses are always giving infusions, flushing tubing, giving medications, adjusting monitors, etc. How could anyone, even another nurse who was five feet away know what she was up to?
These were covert actions done very surreptitiously, and would have been easy to hide, because in such a busy environment, each person has enough of their own workload to concentrate on. It might explain why she thinks there is no evidence or actual witnesses. Few crimes if any, are done without leaving evidence. Let’s hope this one has the irrefutable evidence to either convict or exonerate, without leaving a gaping grey zone.
In addition to the parents, I can imagine the shock felt by the nurses she worked with, especially those who socialized with her, and listened to her many complaints. They must be reeling with the unfolding of all the evidence, text messages, and accusations. Some of them must be feeling very fragile.
One person’s actions can shake a nation, and even the entire world, as the scope of it all unfolds. I just hope and pray the concept of killing helpless human beings is seen for what it really is – a monstrous act of depravity and cruelty.
It is most certainly not mercy or fate, as those with a flawed sense of morality seem to think. Some people who are truly depraved and mentally ill, go unnoticed, and unfortunately, they live and work among us.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Who and what can define us? The onus is on us. Be on the qui vive for wanton marauders, whose millstone will shackle, pulverize and grind, and will bottle you as a kickback, to grease their behinds. Solemn and syrupy, they will sodomize your mind. Our essence is our selfhood. It orbits around kith and kin, our level of education, what we do for a living, what we pilot to procure, our get up and go, the sidekicks we endear, and whether or not, we are bankrolled in dough.
Customarily, our portrayal is trussed up in family, and the semblance of order within. For some, it is in subduing a mammoth – and becoming a survivor of calamity and havoc, such as addiction, illness, accident, divorce, or a fall into some other harrowing abyss. Establishing a career is a pilgrimage. It can traipse us across a praiseworthy promenade, pitch us a salient hot potato, or place us in a ponderous pickle. Financial stability and net worth are worthwhile ambitions – because they bring challenge, peace of mind, veneration, and an enhanced lifestyle. Fair enough.
Change comes through all kinds of upheaval. There is opportunity for cerebration, rumination, reflection, and hindsight to wax the wheels of change. Fluky or fortuitous – those defining demarcations, are but thumbnail sketches of life as we know it, and can splinter or rupture, into a jumble of rubble. Detour and take the divergent route, lugging and dragging a convoy of paraphernalia and baggage, and even so, we are wrestling the wind. Rein in and buckle down for vital acclimatization, distended and magnified, when you envisage yourself as a pawn or memento.
As though soaked and sodden, steeped in lumps and oodles, blended and amalgamated, joined and entwined, thrust into the pandemonium of a hooligan’s hokum. Discern it. Don’t deny it. Don’t acquiesce, or permit it to pillage you further. For soon there is a juncture, from engulfed and submerged, as it sequentially sinks in – then ascends to a conversion, and will augment migration.
One of life’s central battles is to define our own purpose for existence. There can be ferocity in the resistance one meets, just in making a choice to live your own life. Every stage of development we go through in life is a step toward asserting our own autonomy.
Unfortunately there are those who grow up lacking the perimeters to sustain internal cohesion, in relation to their own autonomy. It is a type of arrested development. The resulting intrinsic insecurity causes controlling, dominating, and manipulative behaviors. What they want supersedes the rights of other people. They cling to a malignant self-love as a form of self-exaltation. Self becomes the monument and simultaneously their worldview shrinks. They are gummed up in a bubble of delusion.
Bullies insist on targeting, limiting, assaulting in a variety of ways, defining and exploiting others for their own gain. They manipulate until they are blue in the face, and it will never be enough. At the end of the day – this is what defines them. We are ultimately defined by our own character traits. Almost everything else is transient.
What superficially defines us can be clawed away, to bring us vis-a-vis with the nothingness Jean-Paul Sartre so bleakly wrote about in “Being And Nothingness”. But he did converge upon the urgency to overcome conniving and dismal, onerous, backbreaking and confining, tyrannical, superincumbent, oppressive forces – in order to live an authentic life. The upsurge within us, scintillates the brain waves, to reconcile for ourselves, who and what enlightens and emboldens us.
For slamming the door in the face of the Exclusive Brethren teacher at last, they condemn me to the depths of wickedness and the vehement blaze of eternal damnation. They cannot contain or conceal the smoldering animosity toward me. They justify penance around accusations of me being the cause of an incessant rumble. The battle encompasses rebuffing the teacher and his dog-eared refusal to take no for an answer. The dinky deduction is to make me the disturbance, even though it ejaculated from his own shrinking loins.
They redefined me as the designated and devoted doyenne of fighting and fracas for fraying the finery of a fibbing disaster. I have transformed into a provocateur with a hitch and become a problematic snafu. A whistling quandary to be contained and restrained, or cease to exist.
They chew it as sinew to prolong the affliction. They seek to seclude, to ambush again, with a paroxysm of more sonorous suffering. They shrink into a desolate domicile, by stunting and stuffing, slurping on swagger, and suffocating sensibilities, for sick selfish reasons.
They are prepared to do combat and will keep right on clashing, until they stumble into a sweeping fiasco. The teacher wants an orifice for a consummate conclusion. The unease they perceive as a menace, crowning this compulsion, prompting surveillance or minding – is provoked by the scant bounty of what I am thinking.
The point of convergence in all of my thinking is to stop the madness, abort the injustice, and transform this aberration into an acknowledgment of the fundamental rights of others, particularly women and children. They have no right to make acceptance in my own family conditional upon the Exclusive Brethren bulldozer teacher being my au pair and daddy-god. They counterfeit themselves as venerating religious fundamentalists, yet they flubbed the nitty-gritty nuances, to become a figment, a yarn entwined in ballyhoo and knotted in hoopla.
Sooner or later the authentic self rises from an intrinsic driving force, giving direction until you arrive at, and acknowledge that existential place of nothingness. It took until I came to that place of acceptance on being nothing, knowing when we die we must let go of it all anyway, and in understanding that once we are born, we exist in this world and have as much right to be here as anyone else…
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I remember very clearly when I started believing in God. It was before what is considered to be the age of understanding, but for me, it was distinctly when my belief started. Since then I have always believed in God.
I was three years old, and we lived on a farm in central Alberta. The two nearest neighbours were a half mile away, and a mile and a half away. The closer neighbours were not very friendly, so we seldom talked to them. But the couple who were a bit further away, were much more friendly. Mr. Hoffman, to me looked just like Brutus in the Popeye movie, and was kind of gruff, so I steered clear of him. But his wife was a lovely woman, and I really liked her, and always wanted to tag along so I could talk to her, and see the lambs they had in their barn.
The nearest town was seven miles away, and had a population of four hundred people. We lived in a rural farming area that had many people who had immigrated from various European countries.
We were Scandinavian, most of the others were from Poland, the Ukraine, and in outlying areas, there were German settlements. People still referred to their parent’s home country as the “old country.” It made it sound as if those faraway countries, were so far in the distant past, they barely existed anymore.
I used to imagine they were full of people who were a hundred years old or more, and couldn’t make it to Canada. Some of the local kids did not know English when they started school. They soon learned though. And I soon learned about the old countries, when we took geography at school. I found out they were not full of old people after all.
Our father would often visit the Hoffmans to talk about farm machinery and what not. They usually stood outside and talked. I would beg to go along, so I could talk to Mrs. Hoffman, and would always ask her if I could play with the lambs. They were so adorable.
She was the nicest, kindest woman, and was happy to talk to me. I would ask her all kinds of questions. I had watched a movie that scared me a lot. It was about someone getting kidnapped, and I realized it was so the family would have to pay money to get them back. I knew our parents did not have much money, and was afraid no one would pay a nickel for me if I got kidnapped.
She told me about God, and she said He knows every single hair on my head, which amazed me from then on. I would look at people who had really thick curly hair, and marvel at how God could know how many hairs were on their head. I couldn’t even guess.
She went on to say God would make sure no one harmed a single hair on my head. I was very impressed with God, based on what she told me about Him. I trusted her too, because she was so nice, and loving, and also sort of radiant, especially in her eyes.
At the same time, our mother was in heart failure from a bout of rheumatic fever as a child. During and after her pregnancies, she was getting sicker and weaker by the day. She was one of the first, and at the time, the youngest in all of Canada, to get open heart surgery, and valve replacements. It was experimental surgery, and the outcome was not known. Later on she told me she had an out of body experience during the surgery, and watched the surgery being done from above. She said there were green sheets everywhere, almost completely covering her up.
I remember hearing her crying one night before she went to the hospital for the surgery, talking to our father, and telling him she did not think she would live through it. She was just twenty-three years old at the time, and had several small children.
I remember praying every single night, that she would come back from the hospital, and not die. I still remember the day she came back like it was yesterday. She was so pale and slender, and was wearing a belted mauve dress, with mauve embroidered trim.
I was outside by the gate when I heard the car door slam, and came running around the corner to see her. I thought she looked like an angel. She was so weak, but the love in her eyes literally shone when she saw me come running. She too had a radiance about her, similar to our kind neighbour.
It solidified and reinforced my belief in God. In fact, I was positive God had answered my prayers. This to me was proof. After that I prayed earnestly about all kinds of things. Like not to get kidnapped, not to fall into quicksand, not to see a bear when my little brother and I played in the woods, and so on.
Although life took many twists and turns, and I went through times of darkness and being lost, I have always believed in God with all my heart. Later on in my youth and early teens, I began to learn about the significance of Jesus and being saved.
As a very young child, I believed. It was unwavering, and still is. It is almost like the seed was planted when I went to the neighbours to play with the lambs. She would give me a muffin, and talk to me about all kinds of things. She never told me I asked too many questions, which is something I got told a fair bit. I was a chatterbox, and curious to no end.
Later on as I looked back on those conversations, I knew what a gem she was in sharing her faith with me, to offer reassurance, and to let me know about God, and His love for us.
Many years later, when our mother did die, I walked into the small town hall after her funeral, and by that time, Mrs. Hoffman was in her nineties. She immediately recognized me, and she was as warm and loving as ever.
It really goes to show how much influence a person can have over another person’s life, especially a child. I will always be grateful for her, and her kind Christian words. They never left me, and I am thankful to know I will see her again some day.
The strong delusion is meant for those who do not seek the truth, and is part of end times Bible prophecy. What does this mean for the increasing scope of mental health disorders? I wonder if it will be put into the end times DSM manual, aka the diagnostic bible for mental health disorders? Imagine if they added a refusal to believe the truth as the number one mental health disorder in the world? They could give people a Bible to read instead of giving them psychoactive drugs like anti psychotics and ketamine.
Guess what? It is a condition that cannot be cured by drugs. It can only be cured by seeking, and obeying the truth. The real truth as is outlined by God himself.
For anyone interested in end times prophecy or eschatology, now would be a good time to review what the Bible says about the strong delusion, and how it affects people. It says lawlessness will be increased, and people’s hearts will become hardened. Love will wax cold. People will be arrogant, will mock God, and follow false teaching.
The strong delusion is not sent to trick people. It is sent because those who persistently deny the truth, take pleasure in all kinds of things God rejects; including lies, exploiting the weak, greed, pride, and deceptive ways to gain an advantage over others. So it is a prelude to the unfolding of the end times events, where God’s wrath begins to be poured out on those who reject Him.
Some people believe it is the epitome of arrogance to believe we know the truth, when all beliefs are accepted and respected in a secular world. It is true that people have choices in what they believe. We all have free will, especially when it comes to our spiritual beliefs. It is not people who judge others, or send them strong delusion, but rather God does.
It never ceases to amaze me how much false doctrine is being taught and preached now. The Bible is altered in subtle ways, twisted and then used to deceive people, probably more than any other form of deception. Recently I listened to a couple of sermons by a preacher on YouTube who had a sub-title called “I’ll Be Honest”.
What an oxymoron, because he is steeped in Amillennialism, and claimed the entire Book of Revelation is symbolic. He said, none of what it describes is actually going to happen. However, contrary to what he claimed, it is pretty obvious, the entire Bible contains a rich mixture of metaphor, parables, and literal truths. This particular doctrine denies the second coming of Christ, as it is described throughout the Bible, and especially in the Book of Revelation. It denies the promise that Christ will reign on this earth for a thousand years, and will rule the earth with a rod of iron. There will be no more crooked tricks, and devious plans. People will live in peace and prosperity, as things are restored to what they were originally intended to be in the Garden of Eden.
This false doctrine claims the thousand year reign of Christ began when Christ was here on earth, and is ongoing. He overlooks the fact it was two thousand years ago, and then covers the inconsistency by saying a thousand years just means a very long time. They also somehow manage to believe Satan is already bound. They arrive at this conclusion because of what they see as the power of Christian influence on earth. Theoretically at least, the Christians will make the world better and better until all evil is overcome. However it is pretty clear, the world is getting worse not better. We only need to look around us, and read about the historical events and wars to know this is false doctrine.
When questioned about the negative developments in the world, they simply say it may take another 10,000 years, or 30,000 years, or whatever. How convenient. They seem to think there is such a thing as spiritual evolution, although it may take a hundred million years overall. They adapt what the Bible says, to what they want to believe, no matter how outlandish it might be.
What about all the verses in the Bible describing a thousand year reign of Christ on the earth after the second coming? Anyone who went to Sunday school, or has heard any portion of the gospel, knows about the verses describing how the sword will be turned into a pruning hook, and the weapons of war will be turned into ploughshares. Even more idyllic, is the description of a child leading the wild beasts, such as leopards, wolves and lions, and no harm shall come to them.
Have we ever seen a time in our world when children have no fear of wild beasts? Or where there has not been war in some location? There is no evidence or rationale whatsoever to believe Christians can overcome all the problems in this world. It’s not even possible, because the world leaders are making a mess of things, and they are not going to allow anyone to dominate them. They need more of a shake up than what people can orchestrate, in order to uproot the plans of the global leaders.
The Bible contains many descriptions pertaining to the thousand year reign of Christ immediately following His second coming. There is nothing to indicate there will be a secret rapture prior to His second coming. The secret rapture doctrine supposedly is designed to save Christians from the coming tribulation. Yet all throughout history, Christians were never given such a promise.
In fact when you think about the many verses that tell Christians to endure until the end, and analogies to compare it to a race, what does that tell us? Do people quit a race just before they reach the finish line? Or the advice we are given to endure until death? Or the fact so many Christians throughout history were persecuted? Why would a certain group at the end of the age be treated special? There are also descriptions of the resurrection of people on the last day, the final trumpet, and so on. It says the dead in Christ will rise first, followed by those who are alive when He returns.
Why would the dead need to be raptured in order to be saved from the tribulation? Where does it say Christ will return three times? If so, the final return would not be called the second coming. Why would God’s plan all throughout history focus on a glorious triumphant climax, but minimize it or take it away by orchestrating a secret rapture? It is pure manmade fiction, and is not taught anywhere in the Bible.
The Amillennialism doctrine is also a man’s invention based on early Catholic beliefs. It came from Augustine of Hippo, around four hundred years after the death of Christ. He was also known as Saint Augustine, and as the name implies, he was of Catholic origin. Although I have not read much about him, apparently he deviated from Catholic beliefs to a certain extent as well, and some reports say toward the end of his life, he became a staunch atheist. So much for the honesty surrounding this doctrine.
Like the rapture theology, it makes no sense and is not taught in the Bible. It is an offshoot of Catholic beliefs. The descriptions of the thousand year reign after Christ’s return are throughout the Bible. It makes sense too, because after thousands of years leading up to the second coming, Christ returns to rule. Not to be persecuted, humiliated and killed. But to take over, and rule as King of the entire world.
The descriptions of the thousand year reign, and the end of the thousand year reign are also very substantial parts of the entire gospel as it unfolds. The thousand year reign is a time of peace, prosperity, learning, and preparation for the great white throne of judgement.
When Satan is released for a short time after the thousand year reign, and then destroyed for good, it is also in the same time frame that the dead who were not believers when Christ returned, will be raised from the dead, and face judgement.
After all these events take place, there will be a new world created, and an ushering in of the New Jerusalem. This is a very different description than what the earth will be like during the thousand year reign. The thousand year reign is comparable to a sabbath for the earth. Whereas the new world to follow ushers in a different and Godly eternity.
God’s presence will be in the new world. There will be no more night or darkness. God himself will be the light of this world. Another huge difference is there will be no more sea, which would make much more room for people, for agriculture, and ease of travel. The Bible also describes a huge tree with a different fruit ripening every month, and all will be able to partake in it. It describes the new temple in magnificent terms, with gold, and gemstones, and all the gates that represent every tribe and nation.
So for the manmade doctrines to dismiss significant portions of what the Bible describes will happen, is to take away from the word, and lead people astray. It is God’s plan, and we have nothing to do with His plans. Important men who mastermind plans in the name of God, are out of their minds. We are not even capable of comprehending the fullness of God’s plans, and therefore need to have faith, and take our beliefs directly from the Bible, not false teachers and false prophets. They skip what they want to skip, and add what is not even there.
In Christian beliefs, we would be wise to steer clear of all the isms, because ism simply means a man made ideology. If you look into the background of religious isms you will see the manmade origin of the heresy. In the case of dispensationalism and false rapture theology, you will find John Nelson Darby and Scofield, as primary people who invented and pushed this doctrine. In addition, the rapture doctrine brought about at least thirteen fictional Hollywood movies.
Premillennialism, Amillennialism, Postmillennialism are all manmade extrapolations designed to confuse people. Those words are not in the Bible. If people are going to preach the Bible, they should stick with what it says in the Bible. Many are led astray because of all the confusion, different denominations, and most of all, the different isms.
There are many others who wrote about, and advanced the false doctrine of dispensationalism, and still do. It is rife with error, because it claims the Jewish people are separate, when the Bible says there is only one body of Christ, and that all Christians are equal before Christ. Darby made the changes to the original Bible in the 1830’s, which in the entire scope of things, was not that long ago. Originally Darby was an Anglican priest.
Darby also divided up the Bible into dispensations, and made the final one the dispensation of Grace, which basically allows, or encourages lawlessness, due to the notion there is automatic forgiveness, no matter what people do. It even advances many outright lies about God’s plan for humankind, going so far as to claim God made mistakes, and man’s rebellion caused Him to change his course. Dispensationalism breeds not only false teaching, but also supreme arrogance.
For some strange reason, many churches have embraced this doctrine. It not only has the false dispensations, and separation of Israel, but Darby made many other changes to the Bible as well, to include the notion of a seven year tribulation. Whatever his motives were, like Saint Augustine, they were not the least bit truthful. If you look back at the history of followers of this doctrine like Scofield, you find out he was a dishonest and despicable character in his personal life. Darby is rumoured to have been a freemason, and developed the pre-tribulation rapture concept, after talking to a fifteen year old girl who claimed she levitated during a seance.
There are many other religious isms such as Seventh Day Adventism, which was established by Ellen White in 1863. She wrote all kinds of personal Biblical end times interpretations, and believed she was a conduit to God’s plans. She believed she was anointed and special to the extent, if you read her history, you would think she was psychotic, as opposed to being anointed. She set specific dates for the return of Christ that turned out to be false, and was charged with extensive plagiarism as well. It did not affect her dedicated followers in the least. Ellen White is still revered in the Seventh Day Adventist church to this day, and they use her writings as much, or more than they use the actual Bible.
Another ism is Calvinism, which was established by John Calvin in 1519. John Calvin was also a cruel and despicable character. He formulated the TULIP acronym, or the five points of Calvinism. He was basically an offshoot of Augustine of Hippo. In fact he absolutely worshipped the guy. Thus all of this doctrine is rooted in the deviations from Catholicism that were initially defined by Saint Augustine, who also established the false doctrine of Amillennialism.
Another example of a well known false teacher who wrote copious numbers of books to promote himself, and certain doctrinal falsehoods, is John MacArthur. He is a five point Calvinist who claims to preach the truth of the Bible. Yet when he went to have a debate with Mormon leaders to try and sway them to Christianity, he took and shared his own books, as opposed to taking the Bible. He too, like Darby, Augustine, Ellen White and many others will have left behind volumes of writings steeped in false doctrine. One thing we can know for certain is that these are manmade doctrines. Many of these preachers become very rich, and they view it as God’s blessings for their teachings. They are already deluded.
There are many isms in both religion and the secular world. In the secular world we have sexism, feminism, ableism, and ageism. These are all ideologies based on perceptions, personal beliefs, and interpretations of the world around us. They actually lead to the discrimination of other people, but are disguised to pretend they protect and prevent discrimination.
Marxism, socialism, communism, and capitalism, are isms that can be taken to extremes, and lead to fascism, and other forms of societal hardships. Many falsehoods deal in double speak and opposites. They can sound good based on the underlying utopian ideals. But they quickly devolve into totalitarianism and a lust for power.
There are countless deceptions in this world, and they seem to be growing by the day. Christ warned his disciples, and he warned us many times throughout the Bible not to be deceived. He said the devil comes after us as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The sheep don’t go out looking for the wolf. The wolves hunt the sheep, and many of us are caught in the jaws of the wolf.
The only way to overcome delusion is by finding, embracing and holding fast to the truth. First and foremost the truth of our own identity is a core issue. For those who believe in Christ, our identity is in Christ, our seed, and our own lineage. We belong to one of the twelve tribes who are sealed by the Holy Spirit. We belong to the family of God. We cannot allow anyone to rob us, or deceive us about our identity. In addition, the Bible describes each and every generation, and who begat who. We are part of a much bigger picture, and cannot let the wolves drag us into their den of iniquity.
It is not easy to shake off the falsehoods foisted upon us, and it is not easy to escape our own shortfalls, deceptions, addictions, and inclination to be deceived. We cannot save ourselves. We have to look for God’s guidance through His word, and have faith that Christ is the truth, the way and the life. No one can go to the Father except through Christ. He also promises to be a lamp to our feet, and show us the way. Otherwise every last one of us would succumb to strong delusion.
Delusion is not a DSM diagnosis. It is the condition of this world right now. It cannot be treated with drugs, or secular counselling. The only antidote is truth. If we embrace the truth, we can have much more confidence in having a sound mind, because that too, is one of God’s many promises for believers. We can get out from under all the fear, anxiety and depression as well, because we have hope and assurance.
We can find a solution for all the mental illness without labelling and drugging people. But none of us can control another person’s beliefs, or whether or not they seek the truth in the Bible. On a personal level, we have to repent, and let go of all of the mess we were trapped in, or created for ourselves, and find the truth of the Bible.
So many of us have been steeped not only in secularism, addiction, and foundational lies, but also religious deception. We easily become ensnared, trapped and in bondage to the things of this world. Few things are more important than truth. In fact, nothing is more important than truth. Without truth we lose our way, we do not repent, we have no salvation, we cannot trust, and therefore we cannot know love. Without truth we are destined for destruction.
For those who refute Calvinism, several of them have taken it to the opposite extreme and adamantly claim that repentance is works, and therefore Christians are not required to repent of sins. Since when is repentance works, other than God’s work of sanctification in us? Works involves things like giving to the poor, being a worship leader, caring for the sick, generosity, etc. Those are things people do freely and without expectation of returns or gain. But repentance is not works. Abandoning sinful conduct is not works. It is simply a change of heart, and when that happens there is a change in conduct.
Pre-destiny is misconstrued by Calvinists because God knows what is, what was, and what is to come. The Calvinists took that to mean God has chosen them, and there is no free will. They fail to realize they are not God, and do not have God’s understanding of what people will choose to do.
Repentance is not our works, but rather it is the work of God in us. It is part of the process of sanctification, and redemption. Like salvation, it is by the grace Of God that we come to recognize the magnitude of what Christ has done for us. As we listen to the truth of the gospel, our faith grows stronger, and we are affected by the awareness, and life changing aspects of God’s abundant grace. Our growth comes from His work in us, not anything we can do by ourselves. Repentance is a blessing from God, and takes away delusion by letting us see the truth of our own condition. It brings us to an understanding of the power of forgiveness, and the truth of what Christ did for us on the cross.
Another stream of false teaching is that all non-believers will be in a lake of fire tormented for all eternity. Those verses are referring to Satan and the false prophet. The Bible has many references to the second death for those who are not in the book of life when judgment day rolls around. The most famous verse in the Bible John 3:16 “…everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life…” That means those who do not believe will perish, and will not have eternal life.
Once again, there are many verses that tell us the non-believers will not have eternal life. Therefore to claim they will burn in extreme agony and torment forever and ever, is false teaching, and a complete misrepresentation of the character of God. It seems many of those who are rebuking other false teachers, then glibly go on to add some other form of false teaching. All these scholars and teachers must have read the Bible. It is hard to understand why they would teach false doctrine.
Personally I do not want to be sent strong delusion. Even if certain truths in our life brings us rejection and punishment, we are to endure it, and trust God. Discernment is a gift, and it helps us to steer clear of all sorts of deceptions. We cannot be lukewarm, wishy washy milk toast, or spineless Christians, or the wolves will devour us.
We somehow have to balance embracing the truth, with love, mercy, repentance, forgiveness, and trust in God. There are many difficulties in life. Just as we are told wide is the gate that leads to destruction, we have to be prepared to head for the straight or narrow gate.
The DSM Manual is the so called bible for diagnosing mental health disorders. Over the past forty years, the diagnostic manual has grown exponentially. Now every difficulty in life has a mental health disorder to go with it. I am not a doctor, or a mental health counsellor. But I did work in mental health for several years, and observed people for hours on end (twelve hour shifts) who were chronically mentally ill.
My opinions are based on experience, and observations over many years, and are only intended as food for thought, or to point people to doing more research on medications commonly prescribed. It is not medical advice, but rather to provide some insight into an alternative viewpoint of self responsibility, that may not be readily accepted by mainstream healthcare, especially those in psychiatry.
If I was still working as an RN, I would not have the freedom to describe, or explain some of the things I have learned over the years. Since I am out of the profession (thankfully), I am free to write about my own experiences and observations. Some of the most damaging and addictive drugs are opiates, along with a multitude of other psychoactive medications.
The point to be made is that drugs are killing people. It is a well known fact. Encouraging people to seek a mental health diagnosis for every negative feeling, or difficult situation, is opening the door for more drug addiction, under the pretence of helping people. There seems to be a promotion of more and more mental health disorders. Human beings have always had struggles, anxieties, situational depression, losses, grief, divorces, and many other hurdles to overcome. Difficulties in life can be overcome without being labelled as being mentally ill, and drugged into oblivion.
There are natural ways to increase serotonin. There are natural ways to increase dopamine. Prescription drugs can be just as dangerous as street drugs. More and more, the lines are blurred between the two when it comes to psychoactive medications. My only intention is to encourage people to look at different options, and not to blindly trust the system. Also do not be pushed or coerced into accepting a diagnosis or drugs, if you are a functioning, cognitively intact person. Trust your mind, your research, and your intuition.
I also worked in ER departments, and did a fair bit of break relief in hospital psych units over the years. It gave me an idea on the scope of the acute care components of those who presented with mental health disorders. I also worked a three or four year stint in geriatric psychiatry, which is different because it involves more physical disorders, organic brain disorders, and damage to the brain due to strokes.
When it comes to strokes, the person usually does not have a psychiatric disorder, but rather a physical impairment. It often causes paralysis on one side of the body, and also often causes speech impairment, or a difficulty finding words. Many people make a full or partial recovery following a stroke. The symptoms can vary widely though, as it depends on the part of the brain affected.
Some people do end up having mental health issues, labile moods, and erratic behaviours following a stroke, if there is damage to certain parts or the brain involving emotions and cognitive function. Strokes however, are physiological in cause, and have no relationship to prior mental health issues, as they are related to the circulatory system, as opposed to chronic anxiety, depression, or thought disorders. In addition, CT scans will show which area of the brain is affected, whereas with mental illness, if there is no physical cause, there is also no diagnostic method to determine what has happened.
There may be advances in mental health imaging that I am not aware of, but for the most part, as far as I know, mental health has always been diagnosed based on feelings, behaviours, and various other symptoms like sleep disorders, appetite, inability to concentrate, confusion, intrusive thoughts etc. All people who have psychiatric disturbances should have a physical examination to determine if there is a physical cause for the disruptions in mood. Even fluctuations in blood sugar can cause emotional upheavals. Also, many medications that are prescribed for physical ailments can influence mood, sleep and appetite. A careful evaluation of onset, and symptoms help to identify the cause.
When reading the charts of those who were institutionalized for mental illness, one common denominator was a prior history of frequent admissions throughout their lives. For instance, if a person had a “nervous breakdown” at age forty, and were admitted to hospital, they were at risk for more admissions in the future. Later on they might be admitted for severe depression a few times. It appeared, the more short term acute admissions, the more likely they were to be admitted long term at some point. And the more likely they were to end up in LTC later in life. One thing I did notice, time and time again in LTC, is that the fewer drugs a person was on, the more cognitively intact they were.
Those who took a Vit D tablet a day or a baby aspirin and nothing else, were more likely to be calm, aware, and alert even if they were a hundred years old. Those who were on multiple medications, especially benzodiazepines, anti psychotics, anti depressants, etc. were much more likely to be out of their minds. It is only an observation, not a formal research study. It is proven however, that as people age, there is less tolerance for many medications. The Beers list is a good reference manual for those who want to be sure to avoid medications that are poorly tolerated by the elderly. It is quite a long list with significant amount of information:
LTC is full of elderly people who fall into one of two categories. There are those who are physically disabled, and there are those who have dementia, or mental health disorders. Some of them are disabled, and also have mental health deterioration. But for the most part, the extended care patients had mobility problems, often with intact and alert minds, while the dementia patients were often very active, but had severe memory or psychiatric impairments. It really served to highlight how important it is to try to maintain both mobility, and cognition as we age.
In the case of younger people, psychosis as a result of schizophrenia seemed to be most prevalent in young men between the ages of 19-23 or so. Otherwise, many of the mental health disorders in young people were secondary to drug and alcohol toxicity, or sometimes impulsive patterns of behaviour associated with personality disorders.
One thing that did seem apparent, was the more admissions, and the more drugs, the more likely the person would be to end up in a locked unit, or admitted for the long term. Therefore to stay out of such a situation, it is best to avoid ending up in the hospital repeatedly over mental health issues. That means finding ways to take care of ourselves, and not become a burden to others. Often the most determined people to find help, or to get a family member admitted, to do because they are at wit’s end, and can no longer manage the person’s disruptive behaviours or care. We are best to take care of ourselves as long as we possibly can.
There are many pitfalls and snares to fall into as we navigate our lives. As much as we can get into an accident and become physically injured, we can also accidentally harm our minds, with toxic drugs, and by getting lured into the system.
Once the system sucks you in, it may never spit you back out again. The idea is to have a healthy dose of wariness, when it comes to the attempts to pitch us into the pit in the first place. The devil attacks our minds and spirits, more than anything else. It’s not to say the devil is the cause of mental illness, just that we have to protect our minds, as well as our bodies. Deception, and attacks upon our emotions, our minds, our will, and our better judgement; as well as attempts to destabilize us, are things to stand against, regardless of where they come from.
In the absence of a medical condition that affects the brain such as a stroke, a person with no prior history of psychiatric admissions, is far less likely to have a breakdown later in life. It’s not to discount the fact we all have struggles, or may need care, but it’s the repeated admissions, and excessive need for medications, that seem to contribute to long term admissions, or a diagnosis of chronic mental illness.
In addition to observing people who were mentally ill and institutionalized, I also gave them the countless pills that were ordered for their mental illnesses. Therefore, I witnessed first hand the behaviours within the institution, as well as the side effects from the pills.
I don’t dispute that some people do need to be hospitalized, or in an institution. However, I also believe the vast majority of people who do not need to be institutionalized, can find ways to overcome their depression and anxiety without falling victim to the harm done by psychotropic medications. There is still very real, and ongoing stigma, associated with not being in full control of one’s faculties. It also increases our vulnerability a great deal, to turn our decision making over to an industry, whose sole motive is to push drugs, as the solution for mental health struggles.
If a person is not really sick, or does not appear to be mentally ill, a course of potent psychotropic medications will make them sick. The reason for this is that the side effects are so severe, they cause movement disorders, drooling, twitches, extreme weight gain, and various other things. They may also increase thought disorders and confusion. Many of them cause dissociative reactions, and suicidal or homicidal ideation that the person did not have to begin with.
Given the fact they are now introducing ketamine and hallucinogenics into the mix of potentially damaging psychiatric drugs, it is even more reason to stay away from the insanity of it all. If a person was not psychotic to begin with, they will be offered to be put into a drug induced psychosis to help them along.
Furthermore, any person who goes to a psychiatrist will get diagnosed with some kind of mental health disorder. There is a very strong incentive within the industry to make a diagnosis. The reason for this, is because they will also immediately prescribe potent drugs. It does not matter if you tell a psychiatrist that you do not want medications. It does not matter if you tell him you are eating well, sleeping well, get fresh air and exercise, have goals, and believe you have much to look forward to. He will simply claim you are delusional, for thinking like a normal person. Seriously.
Delusions simply mean believing what is false. A person who gives a rational account of their issues, family background, and history to a psychiatrist, deserves to be heard, not face a rush to judgement. After all, as far as delusions are concerned, there is no diagnostic criteria involved, other than establishing the truth. Their role is to listen and validate the veracity of the claims.
If a psychiatrist within minutes, claims a person is delusional, without bothering to fact check the background or history, especially when it comes to factual, documented, provable issues – then he is making an unfounded, biased misdiagnosis, and is not worth his salt. A psychiatrist who makes such brazen errors in judgement, should be held accountable the same as any other professional in health care.
There is no credibility with many psychiatrists. They are all over the map when it comes to competency. Their main goal is to push drugs, so steer clear of them if you want to stay sane. As a profession, they have a higher incidence of mental health disorders, than there is in the general population. In addition, they may not have processed the meaning of ethics, or be too arrogant to have any regard for ethics and truth.
Just look at the number of psychiatrists who will claim a repeat offender is no longer a risk to society? There are so many cases where a violent criminal has a psychiatric assessment, and is set free. Often they will reoffend in no time flat. In many cases, they commit crimes after being released, that were more horrific than the original crime.
How about the psychiatrist who assessed Vincent Li, after he beheaded a person on a greyhound bus in Winnipeg? Li then stayed inside the bus for hours, parading around waving the person’s head, in front of horrified onlookers. Initially the police were too afraid to enter the bus. The traumatized onlookers were the people who had been on the bus, and fled the scene.
That man had an insanity defence, since it was decided he did not know what he was doing. Shortly after that, a psychiatrist claimed he was not a threat to society, so he was released. I wish that psychiatrist could be forced to sit beside the guy on a sixteen hour bus trip. They seem to have no clue, when it comes to the risk involved for innocent people. It makes you question their judgement in general, when it comes to making any assessments at all.
Psychiatrists, paradoxically seem to be more inclined to call a sane person insane, and a person who is criminally and dangerously insane, sane. So much for trusting their knowledge and abilities. How many court cases do they screw up when they are expert witnesses? No wonder so many people call psychiatry a field of warped pseudo-science.
The only criteria they use is their own skewed judgement. Every other diagnosis in health care involves diagnostic tests such as blood work, ultrasound, X-Rays, ECG’s, CT scans, etc. But in psychiatry, they diagnose and drug people, without using any evidence or diagnostic tools at all. They just use their trusty pharmaceutical inspired DSM manual. They can be batting zero, but they still think they are hitting home runs. There is no way to refute them, because there is no real criteria.
One thing for certain is that all people who go to a psychiatrist, and are then prescribed potent psychoactive medications, should first have a full physical exam before being started on treatment. They may have blood glucose issues, or trans ischemic attacks, or hypothyroidism, or cardiac problems etc., that may contradict certain medications. Psychiatrists have no business treating mental health, without treating the whole person. If the patient is on medications for medical reasons, the psychiatrist cannot possibly know all the potential drug interactions he may be subjecting them to. There needs to be some solid baseline work done, as well as a detailed medical history taken.
Yet most psychiatrists don’t bother with, care about, or even know much about medical conditions. If a psych patient ends up in hospital for any reason, they are at the mercy of the system more than ever, because no one in the hospital knows what they were like before they were diagnosed, drugged, and labelled as mentally ill. There is a stigma associated with it, no matter how much the media, or whoever else tries to sugar coat it.
Furthermore, they have no business ordering a voluntary patient to “see me in two weeks”. Maybe the person does not want to see them. Maybe they do not trust the psychiatrist. Maybe they question why he would order a potent medication that can exacerbate cardiac arrhythmias, without even asking them about their medical history.
All the psychiatrists seem to want to do, is spend five or ten minutes with a patient, pull a diagnosis out of their hat, and then put them on dangerous drugs. They order the person to return in two weeks so they can up the medication, or add more medication, if the person complains of side effects. It’s a sketchy profession in many ways, with poor controls, especially from the perspective of holistic treatment. If you went and saw three different psychiatrists, you would probably get diagnosed with three different disorders at least.
Once they get a person reeled in, they seem to love to play with the medications and dosages, making adjustments, adding to, or changing medications like they are Frankenstein, or some kind of mad scientist. Gee, let’s see what this drug will do? Let’s up the dosage. Let’s add some anticholinergics for the side effects. Let’s tweak the anti anxiety meds, and add a sleeping pill. Before long, the person is twitchy, confused, zombie like, sleeping all day etc.
I can honestly say that over the years I worked with many doctors, including many psychiatrists. I never met a single psychiatrist who was not strange and quirky. Some of them were nicer than others, but they all had very odd ideas, and mannerisms.
In mental health, I used to have to accompany, and sit through the patient interviews with the psychiatrist. I remember one psychiatrist who had to have the clock on the wall placed in a certain location. If it was a tiny bit crooked, or even if it wasn’t crooked, he thought it was. He literally could not stand the position of the clock, or concentrate, if it was not quite right. He had clock OCD. He was always far more focused on the clock, than he was on anything else, and would fidget until he couldn’t take it anymore, and then get up and adjust it. A lot of the time the clock was not even off kilter. I have a pretty good eye for symmetry, and wondered what was wrong with him. He just thought it was crooked. I remember thinking, “Gee, which one is the psych patient here.”
If you delve into the reasoning behind all the newfound mental health disorders, you will find this rapid growth is fuelled and funded by the pharmaceutical companies. The goal is to diagnose, and drug people, for everything from mild situational depression, to unresolved family conflicts, to anxiety over all the covid turmoil that was inflicted on people in recent years. Any reason is a good reason, to claim someone is mentally ill.
By all means, some people do need medications and psychiatric evaluations. However the laws do protect Canadians from forced psychiatric evaluations. No one can, or should be forced into a psychiatric evaluation without a court order. That means they have to have been in trouble with the law, and there will be plenty of documented evidence to support the need for a psychiatric evaluation. Even in the case of criminal charges, often psychiatric evaluations are over ruled.
In some cases, an employer can make the request for a psychiatric evaluation, if there is enough proof and documentation to support the need for a such an evaluation. The person has to be a recognized threat to the safety within the organization. Or it can be requested to support insurance claims, stress leave, or sick time. But this is only done as a condition of employment. If a person quits their job or is fired, there is no further mandatory requirement following termination, unless the person is reported to law enforcement, and the behaviour is so erratic, it poses a threat to the wider community.
Legally, there can be no legitimate accusation toward another person of being mentally ill. By law, we are all considered to be sane and mentally competent, unless it is proven otherwise. For those who repeatedly accuse a person of being mentally ill, without supporting evidence, they are engaging in false accusations, slander and defamation. False accusations are often used when there is family conflict, divorce, or a reason for a more powerful individual to discredit a person, in order to protect themselves. Sometimes, it is based on a projection of one person’s mental health disorder onto another. The one doing the projecting, is the one who has the most power.
During times when governments, and large corporations become unstable, and there is a rise in fascism, there is also a rise in the attempt to claim people are mentally ill. There are many examples of this throughout history, especially during the second world war. Prior to that, Stalin and Mussolini were well known for using the field of psychiatry to imprison, drug and murder people.
In addition, when a person with a mental health disorder goes missing, the first thing that comes up as a reason, is the claim they had a mental health disorder, or were depressed. It makes it much easier to simply allow people to vanish, giving a preconceived reason, with less incentive to investigate.
As far as diagnosing personality disorders, the key thing about personality disorders, is that they are intrinsic to the individual’s basic personality. They will be evident from early childhood onward, and will become increasingly obvious when the person enters their teens. The reason it is so difficult to treat personality disorders, is because they are a part of the person’s internal psychological make up.
If a person goes to a mental health counsellor for any reason, the mental health counsellor’s role is to support the client. He/she is obligated to contact authorities if, and only if the person has confessed to a crime, or poses a threat of violence to themselves or others.
Otherwise, the mental health counsellor has no right to coerce a voluntary patient or client in any way, with regards to their mental health, or their choices in how to manage their mental health. An attempt to force a diagnosis, or a treatment plan against the will of the client, is unethical and unlawful.
A mental health counsellor is not qualified to even make a diagnosis. Nor does he/she have the authority to force or suggest a psych diagnosis. It is extremely unethical, and unlawful to use the power of one’s profession to bully voluntary clients into a diagnosis or treatment plan.
Such practices are wide open to abuses of power, and the taking of bribes etc. An unethical mental health counsellor who abuses power over vulnerable people, is not fit to practice in a profession where people are entrusting them to provide empathy and assistance. They are expected to have an unbiased point of view, offer assistance to identify and explore underlying issues, such as family conflicts; and to provide genuine help with struggles the client may be trying to deal with. The counsellor must be transparent, and without an ulterior motive or agenda. All professionals have an obligation to disclose any conflict of interest they may have.
If they do have an ulterior motive, and are prone to unethical attitudes and coercion, they should not be practicing in the field of mental health. Unfortunately, it is a field that is poorly regulated, and has many unqualified and unethical practitioners. The first sign to be wary of, is if the counsellor is pushing an agenda that makes you uncomfortable, or is against your will. Bullying has no place in a therapeutic environment. If so, the best course of action is to get up and walk out.
If they are seriously using their power and position to bully you into a preconceived outcome, they should be reported to the appropriate association. Many of these practitioners are operating independently, and begin to think they are above the law, and accountable to no one. A Master’s degree by itself, does not make a person ethical. They too, must have personality traits with ethics and values, or they will do far more harm than good.
Under the guise of taking away the stigma of mental illness, and encouraging people to get a diagnosis, we are now seeing countless people being herded into treatment for mental health disorders, for every disjointed nuance in their lives. The idea is to gear all these newfound disorders, into a myth that it will magically take away the stigma surrounding a mental health diagnosis. As if such a concept is a kind, safe and collective thing to do. The more the merrier. The more people who go crazy, the more they normalize it, and encourage it. Don’t fall for it. What it really means, is more drugs, more drug induced sickness, and more stigma, not less.
We need to protect our minds, not turn them over to a DSM manual that has no basis in reality. By that I mean, there is no diagnostic criteria for mental illness. They simply make it up. They invent a new diagnosis for every human flaw, with new labels for those imperfections, every single time they republish the manual. That is why the numbers of mental health disorders are growing exponentially.
When the objectives surrounding the diagnosis are purely subjective, what is it really about? The only real mental health disorders, should be based on unruly behaviours, a loss of self control, the inability to self care, and whether or not one has the ability to string sentences together. How we feel, even though there are times of distress, if we can cope with it, we are not mentally ill.
There is a strong element of gaslighting involved, when it comes to the attempt to direct people toward a diagnosis of being mentally ill. There are so many mantras surrounding “getting help” it is enough to make your head spin. What kind of help is there? Drugs and stigma, and being put on the MAID list? Is that help? Notice how the actual tangible help a person might need, like food and shelter, is not part of the equation? It all revolves around drugs.
Look at what happened to nurse Lindsay Clancy and her efforts to get help for her “touch of anxiety” and “touch of psychosis”. She ended up murdering three beautiful, innocent children. The two older children were three and five years old. Imagine the terror those poor kids went through, as their mother systematically and deliberately cut off their air supply?
Imagine what is was like for one of the older children to witness her sibling being murdered? Whatever order they were killed in, they were three and five years old, with an eight month old baby brother. Even the eight month old baby would have recognized the terror of his siblings, and the abnormal circumstances. He too would have been frightened beyond anyone’s imagination. Children are very astute. Few things could be more horrific, as it would take at least five minutes to murder each child.
An act so violent, and terminal, is done out of anger, malice and resentment. No one could convince me that you could actually murder a child, or anyone else, as an act of mercy. Even in a psychotic state, it would have to involve malice, and rage toward the other human being, as well as a sense of power, dominance and ultimate control. Killing is about control. On the extreme end of the spectrum of control, is a complete loss of control.
Exceptionally controlling people, are the most likely to kill. Such control is rooted in a profound insecurity. Murder is the ultimate expression of mastery over another human being. It is the final triumph of power, to take control over whether someone else can live or die. To do it to children is absolutely abhorrent.
Clancy was getting help. She was going to an outpatient clinic five days a week. She was constantly making more doctor’s appointments, and seeking more medications, and changes to her medications. The list of medications she was on is staggering.
Her family was helping her. Her husband was working from home, in order to help her. She had medical insurance, and the system was supposedly helping her. It appears she was milking the health insurance with no end in sight. Was she a mental health hypochondriac? She was documenting all her woes, and misery every single day, in minute detail.
Criminal cases where violence is involved should be treated first and foremost as criminal cases. Most people with mental health struggles are not violent. Those who are, actually straddle the line between criminal and psychiatric, and needed to be evaluated by the legal profession more than anything, in order to protect the innocent. There is an old adage – the best predictor of future behaviour, is past behaviour.
The average person accepts negative thoughts, and feelings without constantly dwelling on them, unless there is a specific problem to try and solve. All people have negative thoughts and emotions. Sometimes those negativities are the result of abuse, lies, persecution, and controlling individuals in our lives. Wrestling with darkness is part of the human condition. By all means try to resolve the issues, but within limits.
Clancy did not appear to have abusers in her life. She was the abuser, and even though some say she was wonderful, her actions speak volumes. What more could have been done to help her? The biggest questions surrounds the futility, and harm that was caused from of all the help she did get. All the treatment, and self-absorbed quest for a never ending focus on herself, as opposed to her children, was at the root of it all.
Drugs are not a solution to anyone’s problems. There is no magic pill to make life’s difficulties evaporate. Anyone who does take them to get past a crisis, should also be sure they are only a temporary aid, while sorting things out. Even then, it is a very high risk choice to make.
All the attention had to revolve around her, and every little twinge of negative feelings that crossed her self-centred mind. Her solution was to get drugs and more drugs. One would think she would know better, but clearly she did not. She obviously had some kind of serious diversion from normalcy, and an inclination to have thoughts of murder, as a solution to her problems. It seems the crux of it was that she was a labour and delivery nurse, and did not want to go back to work, or had anxiety about returning to work.
There could have been problems in the marriage, since murdering one’s children, is often an ultimate act of revenge toward the other parent. Who knows what was going through her mind, but all the reports about her being a perfect mom, are so far from the truth, it is inconceivable people would even say such a thing. There is no such thing as a perfect mother, and she was most certainly not an example of even the worst of mothers. She was putting on an act. She might have had childish illusions about marriage, children, and a white picket fence, and then decided it was not all it was cracked up to be. So she cracked up, and thought she had created the perfect insanity defence. I’m just speculating of course. I have far less inclination to make excuses for this woman, than many of her co-workers and pals do.
I worked ten years as a labour and delivery nurse, and returned to work while still breast feeding. I do understand the exhaustion, and the extremely busy pace of the work she had to deal with, as well as the upheaval and difficulty of shift work. There are much wider implications, and potential causal factors in this case, that may never be acknowledged or addressed.
The wider implications could be that the role of a nurse, can be overwhelming, enough to create dread over walking through the doors of the facility. The workload is over the top. LDR is an area where dire emergencies happen all the time, and often without warning. It can be a rewarding area to work in when all goes well, but it is also very demanding.
In addition, when nurse’s make mistakes, especially in the US, but it is now a global trend, they can get terminated. Not only could she be fired, but she could also be charged under the criminal code with homicide, or criminal neglect.
In addition, she would not be on the ball, or have good judgement, and would be a risk to her patients, if she was taking benzodiazepines, and other psychoactive drugs while at work. Mistakes would lead to exposure, judgement, investigation by administration, public scrutiny, media, investigation by the nursing College, professional discipline, and potentially arrest. There could be a lawsuit and a trial, if she caused harm, or was negligent while at work, especially while under the influence of so many medications.
Even though her maternity leave was coming to an end, she was going to doctor after doctor, seeking more medications. Addiction to multiple medications, is not the solution to anyone’s problems. I read the list of medications she had been prescribed. It is incredible to see such a list of drugs given to an adult with three young children. Most of the medications on the list are profoundly addictive, to include more than one prescription for benzodiazepines.
None of the medications she was prescribed could be stopped cold turkey. Even a drug like Trazodone, which is an anti depressant, cannot be stopped suddenly. If a person on that drug gets into a car accident, it has to be put into a feeding tube, or else other drugs must be given to deal with the detox.
Benzodiazepine addiction requires months of gradual tapering to get off them. Just look at what Jordan Peterson experienced and reported as a result of taking benzodiazepines. He was not looking after small children, and nor was he about to return to work as an LDR nurse. How could she possibly take care of small children, drive, or go back to work, with that many drugs on board? She was impaired. If you look at pictures of her, she did not look like she weighed more than a hundred and twenty pounds. Weight does matter when it comes to drug dosages.
The system itself, and the multiple doctors she went to, facilitated this monumental disaster. They did so without calling social services, and without telling her she would not be capable of returning to work, given the number of medications she was on, and her ongoing drug seeking. The reason people go to numerous doctors, is to get more prescriptions. She had already been admitted to hospital as an inpatient for a week and discharged. She was going to an outpatient clinic every day. But none of it helped her. What else could have been done? Lock her up? Take the children away? Of course those options would have been viewed as being cruel. They were far better options than what she ended up doing.
Those very same mental health professionals, were more concerned about poor Lindsay, than they were about the children. They were treating her with all those drugs, knowing full well she was due to return to work. Did they have any foresight into the detox required, or the safety of the patients? Her children did not get any help or protection, did they?
She is alive isn’t she? She is not paralyzed like they claimed. She will walk out of the hospital. Meanwhile her children did not stand a chance when she plotted her murderous rampage. To top it off, there was a GoFundMe set up, with a million dollars donated to the husband. Since the couple is still married, half of the money will go to Lindsay. They cannot use it for a legal defence. But they could pay off their house, and then borrow for a legal defence. What a crazy world we live in.
Nurses do face a great deal of pressure, without a doubt. It is a profession, where for many there is an impossible workload, constant stress, chronic understaffing, and weak administration. Clancy may not have had the ability to manage the kind of workload foisted onto nurses. You cannot be a perfectionist overall. You have to set priorities, be able to anticipate what might happen, and chart every relevant detail. You have to let certain things go, but when it comes to what is important, you have to have nerves of steel, and the eyes of a hawk. It also helps to have intuition. I can honestly say that intuition was my best strength, while working in LDR.
I know the issue of her case is swarming around postpartum depression, and how poorly understood it is. But I think there needs to be some evaluation of the work anxiety, as being a cause as well. Nurses have been under an unprecedented amount of pressure, which has been exacerbated by covid.
Every single time a patient is put on isolation requirements, it involves more workload for nurses. All of the hype, the extra rules, the contradictions, the oppression, the PPE, the lack of trust between employer and employee, serves to create more pressure. When the system fails to support the nurses, the nurses fail to support the patients.
Is it any wonder the anxiety surrounding a fast paced work environment, is increasing in healthcare? Nurses are required to provide care, and to apply knowledge. Yet when they are frantically busy, and exhausted, like anyone else, they are prone to making mistakes. Who has their backs? No one.
I think we would be wise to find ways to protect, and maintain our own mental health. Now more than ever before in our lifetimes, we need to be resilient when it comes to maintaining a sound mind, and having confidence in our abilities to cope, without getting diagnosed and drugged. All the help in the world did not save the Clancy children.
All the help in the world does not take responsibility for, or maintain our own self control or happiness. We have to be the ones to take responsibility for own own mental health, stability, and self control. Suffering does not mean we are crazy. It does not mean we need drugs. It just means we have to carry on, have faith, work towards doing good, and patiently wait it out. Sometimes it means taking the focus off ourselves, in order to care for others. It is not easy, that’s for sure.
In all difficulties we experience in life, we have to find ways to rebuild trust, to adapt, to make changes, to have discernment, and above all, to love one another. Sometimes all we can do is pray, and have faith. We cannot control the choices of other people. We cannot change the hearts, or minds of other people.
Loving one another is not about being mushy and gushy. Love is not fake or two-faced or dishonest. It’s not about being superficially nice, or outgoing and friendly, although we should be pleasant, and patient in our interactions with others. More so, it is about setting boundaries, being truthful, trustworthy, and respecting the rights of one another. It is about esteeming other people equal to, or higher than ourselves. It is about fairness and justice. It is about patience, and long suffering. It is about being humble. It is about forgiveness and being forgiven It is about freedom from bondage, and snares. Ultimately it is about God, because God is love. Without His love, we have nothing left but selfishness, and the superficial things of this world. People will let us down, but God will not let us down. We cannot save ourselves.
The Bible does say that in the end times the love of many will wax cold because lawlessness increases.
Mathew 24:12 KJV ” And because iniquity shall abound the love of many will wax cold.”
Synonyms for iniquity from the thesaurus are: abomination, baseness, crime, misdeeds, immorality, injustice, wickedness, evildoing, unfairness, wrongdoing, and so on. We can take a bit of comfort knowing these things are in the prophecy of what happens during the end times. The only control we do have is over our own minds, to repent and turn away from our own wrongdoing. We are to stay alert, be cautious, discerning, use good judgement, and otherwise we cannot change what is happening.
We are seeing first hand the terrible outcomes of what a pocket full of pills, or street drugs, or anti-psychotic medications, anti anxiety medications, anti depressant medications, opiates, etc. are actually doing to people.
Medicine is supposed to be evidence based, however psychiatry is clearly not evidence based. In my opinion, we need to look at the evidence, and the outcomes of the so-called drugged and warped “help” they are offering, and see what it is actually happening as a result of all these drugs. Being witness to it, is all the evidence we need to reevaluate what we are reading in the MSM and DSM about it all. We can see the underlying agenda, if we open our eyes.
We use our minds to make decisions about our own life. Some people also interfere with, and try to make decisions for the lives of other people, out of arrogance and abuse of power.
We need to develop resilience and confidence in our own minds. Our minds can be assaulted and robbed just like our physical bodies can. You seldom see a confident or important person doubting their own sanity. The more powerful a person is, the less likely anyone will challenge their minds, even though many powerful people have been crazier than loons.
In summary, don’t be gaslighted into doubting your own sanity, just because the world is going insane around us.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The destructive aspect of pathological lying and liars, is like having a thousand pound weight on your shoulders. You cannot get out from under them.
Pathological liars will not let go of their lies. They stick them on you with crazy glue. Regardless of the absurdity, the incontrovertible proof, or the amount of time that goes by, the pathological liar will not give up on lying. He will add more lies. He will double down on the lies. But the last thing he will do, is admit the lies, apologize and tell the truth.
The Healthline gives some insight on the mental health, and potential reasons for pathological lying. It has some fancy diagnostic terms; mythomania, and pseudologia fantastica, and is believed to be associated with certain sociopathic personality disorders.
A pathological liar is defined as someone who lies compulsively. There are various reasons for this. It might be to make them look good, to distance themselves from accountability, to punish or project faults onto someone else, to scapegoat, and often to set up an alternate reality or identity. If they lie to alter another person’s identity, they are also lying to alter their own identity.
People lie for all kinds of reasons. They lie to cover up crimes. They lie to steal money. They lie to cover up affairs. They lie to abuse power. They lie to gain job opportunities. They lie to exploit, and dominate weaker people. They lie to climb the ladder in a corrupt organization. They lie to do favours. They lie to escape accountability. They lie to manipulate others.
They even offer bribes and rewards to those who advance their lies. The more they lie, the easier it gets. Perhaps the more they lie, the more likely they are to believe their own lies, and become delusional. In psychiatry, it is known as a fixed delusional system.
When lies are broad in scope, such as in creating a fiction surrounding a person’s upbringing, there is actually a body of lies, and if repeated often enough, the people around them may believe the lies. What good is a lie if no one believes it? After awhile, all liars lose credibility. They may not realize it, but lies eventually do get exposed. Nothing stays hidden forever, and the more deep-rooted the lies, the more likely the foundational lies will crumble.
The Alex Murdaugh case is a classic example of a pathological liar who carried out a lifetime of power and prosecution of others, only to be exposed as one of the most vile pathological liars in recent years. Before his lies unravelled, he had the privilege of success, respect, and innocent people believing him. Once his foundation cracked and eroded, it all came tumbling down.
Although all pathological liars do not necessarily become murderers, in my opinion, they are far more likely to become murderers, than those who are not pathological liars. All liars may not be murderers, but most murderers, in particular those who commit premeditated murders, are also liars. First and foremost, they have to lie to themselves, in order to justify what they are planning to do. Perhaps it helps explain why so many spousal murders are first steeped in affairs, and lies, before the deed is done.
How many times do you hear a murderer claim they carried out a mercy killing? One woman who shot her husband said, “Oh my goodness, he was making such an awful gurgling noise, so for his own sake, I shot him again.”
Brian Laundrie claimed he killed Gabby Petito because she begged him to put her out of her misery. So out of kindness, he was forced to oblige. What a croc. Especially when you consider he wrote those lies in his journal, before shooting himself in the head. One would think, if there ever was a time to come clean, while wallowing in a swamp, that would be the time. But instead, true to form, he told more lies, right to the bitter end.
Women and men who kill their children, will often claim they “sent them to heaven”. Others will say, “they are in a better place now.” How do they know? If they think they sent them to heaven, where do they think they are going to go, for doing what they did? There is no real logic in any murder.
There are also those who think they did God, and the world a favour, such as those who kill abortion doctors, or carry out other vigilante crimes. The thing about vigilante crimes, is that often a person is manipulated into killing someone based on false accusations. A woman might manipulate someone to kill her spouse, claiming he abused her, or the children. When what she really might be after, is a life insurance policy. Those who become ensnared in lies, and carry out grisly crimes, are often duped.
In another case, a teenage girl from a very religious family, was told she could no longer see her boyfriend. She manipulated him into shooting her entire family. The boyfriend recruited another friend who had been in the military, and together they shot both parents, and her two younger brothers before lighting the house on fire. The military recruit’s girlfriend was waiting in the car while they carried out the crime.
Miraculously the father, after being shot five times, escaped the burning building, and crawled to a neighbour’s house, something like 500 metres away. He was motivated to tell someone who had shot them. He then had to face the fact that his own daughter had manipulated, and orchestrated the crime.
All these kids were just teenagers, and all four of them got sentenced to between forty and fifty years in jail. The sweet, pretty, petite, wide-eyed seventeen year old daughter, will not get out of jail until she is sixty years old. Her lies wiped out her family, and put three other young people in jail for life. Lies can easily lead to catastrophic outcomes. The girl was so good at lying and feigning innocence, if her father had not survived, the crime may never have been solved, as they lived in a remote and rural location.
All of these people who created devious plots, regardless of whatever contrived reasons they managed to come up with, are lying. They killed for selfish reasons, such as greed, lust, jealousy, cover ups, revenge, or resentment. Those are the known, and established reasons for murder. Justification, excuses, false accusations, and denial, are born out of self-centred preservation, not mercy.
In my opinion, the biggest mistake a murder victim makes, is that they believe their killer, and would never even suspect they would do such a thing. However, murder has common denominators, with lies, money, and revenge topping the list. How could Alex Murdaugh sit down and have an evening meal with his wife and son, just prior to killing them? He must have acted completely normal, which is bone chilling, considering what his plans were.
In cases of exposed criminals, the lies become painfully obvious. The Alex Murdaugh case demonstrated how pathological lying can create a monster without a conscience. It showed how his character turned from an outgoing successful lawyer, to a despicable murderer, who killed his own family for revenge, and money.
He will spend the rest of his life in jail. What will happen to his other son? At one time, he basked in entitlement and wealth. Now he will have to make his own way in life, recover or succumb to it all, with no family left, and no one to pay his way.
If only Alex would have accepted the consequences, and set up a payment plan for the damages caused in the boating accident. If only he would have accepted that his wife was fed up, could not trust him, and was divorcing him. He could have let it all play out through the proper legal channels he knew so well.
If he would have put the brakes on his schemes, at any point, and stopped stealing from his clients and law firm. If he had done anything to change the course of his actions, he would have had less money, but he would not have destroyed his own life and family legacy in the process. His life appears to be all that mattered to him. But he crashed and burned regardless.
In the case of Lindsay Clancy, whatever the outcome of her trial might be, she too, lied. She lied by pretending she was fine in one sense, and by setting up a psychiatric defence of sorts, in another sense. She carefully documented her psych complaints, and constantly got her medications changed or added to. She pretended to be normal to all those who knew her.
She fooled people on both sides of the coin, on one side to create a psychiatric defence, and on the other side, to pretend to be normal, so she could create a window of opportunity, to kill all three children. It appears she carefully crafted, and structured a plot with intention to commit murder.
Personally I don’t buy her claims of having a “moment of psychosis”. She had to be mad in a certain way, just like Alex Murdaugh was mad in a sense, but she was clearly cognitively intact. I seriously doubt she will be able to mount an insanity defence. The only way she might be able to, is based on sympathy surrounding postpartum depression. Personally, I don’t think that was the crux of her issues either, because the oldest child was already eight months old. Eight months is a fair bit of time for hormonal adjustments to be made.
Although postpartum depression is very common, very few women kill their children because of it. The most critical period would be in the first three months, when sleep and hormones are disrupted the most. It seems that Clancy was more averse to going back to work than anything else, and was nearing the end of her maternity leave.
People who are truly psychotic, look and act psychotic. There are those who will deny this, but ask anyone who has worked in psychiatry. A truly sick and psychotic person will become disheveled, and nonsensical. Often they will get severely dehydrated, because they are unable to care for themselves at all.
They do not act completely normal, when in a state of psychosis. While working in mental health, I saw many people with psychotic and delusional thought processes. They did not come across as normal by any stretch of the imagination. They were often extremely paranoid, and thought every car that went by was slowing down to stare at them. Every police car was looking for them, to arrest them and put them in jail. Every person who visited the facility was a spy, or an agent of some sort.
They thought there were spikes in the couch, pins in their pyjamas, or cement in their shoes. Some of them thought they had every physical ailment in the book. They obsessed over these things all day long. You name it, they were wholly focused on what they thought was going on, and it had no basis in reality.
If they were not instructed on what to do throughout the day, and given very simple basic tasks, they could not function. You had to tell them when it was dinner time, when it was time to take their pills, when it was time to take a shower, and so on. They could not care for themselves, let alone anyone else, for any length of time. They did not drive cars, make meals, make phone calls, arrange appointments, or go to appointments by themselves. One guy spent all day creating nonsense equations, pages and pages of chicken scratch, in order to cause pollution from cars to go away.
I remember one kind of comical incident, when I was busy doing a bunch of paperwork, and one of the patients started saying they saw men with guns, who were dressed in black, and climbing over the fence next door. I thought, oh yeah sure, and kept on doing paperwork, without even looking.
Then another patient said the same thing. I think by the third time I heard the same “men in black delusion” I got up and went to check it out. Sure enough, they were right. The place next door was swarming with police, and SWAT team members, all dressed in black.
There was a big house on the adjacent lot, with a major drug bust in progress. I did get some flak over it afterwards, from a couple of the patients. One of the guys said to me, “see, we told you so, but you didn’t believe it, did ya?” I did apologize, and called the police department, to see if there was any danger to the patients. They told me to keep them inside.
Clancy lied when she sent her husband on an errand, after pretending to be doing well. She lied when she called the pharmacy, and then to further stall her husband, she sent him on the additional errand. Was she delusional and psychotic? Or was she structuring an entire cohort of lies, in order to carry out a plan of murder she had been dwelling on for unknown reasons? Revenge could have been her motive. Apparently the youngest child, a baby boy, was found in her husband’s basement office. There was a method to her madness, for whatever reasons.
Lies have no respect for the rights of other people. They revolve around the liar, and what the liar wants to achieve, no matter how outlandish it might be. They abuse trust. They abuse the laws, the systems, and the societal values that are supposed to prevent people from destroying the lives of innocent people.
Are all people who lie pathologically delusional? Are all people who are psychotic delusional? Are all people who believe lies delusional? In my opinion, the answer is no. People who are truly psychotic believe what they are seeing, or hearing is real. They are not lying, nor do they have a motive to lie. They are experiencing a complete break from reality. What they are seeing and hearing is not real, but to them, it is real.
Therefore the psychotic person makes no attempt to cover up a crime. They do not have the capacity to organize, or make detailed plans, because their thoughts are too confused and disordered. How can a person who is in a state of psychosis with extremely disordered thoughts, carry out a well orchestrated plan? How can they “pretend” to be normal part of the time? Even if they are hearing voices commanding them to do something, they do not know that what they are about to do is a crime. They are hallucinating, and don’t know what is rational or real.
People who are delusional, may or may not be lying intentionally. For instance, they might believe they have an ailment they don’t have. But they are sincere in what they believe, and are not lying about it to exploit or harm anyone, unless they are malingering for insurance claims, or sick time etc. The definition for delusion, is simply to believe what is false. So theoretically, all false beliefs are delusional. But many are also intentional, which is not the case with psychosis.
People who are delusional can often function, and take care of themselves. You may not know they have a fixed delusional belief system, until they start talking about UFO’s or invasions from another planet, or having a relationship with someone that is completely fabricated. Celebrity stalkers are an example. They may think the singer is singing the song just for them. They may think they are going to marry a certain celebrity. Just like someone might think or claim they have adopted someone, when there was no adoption. These ideations are clearly false, and involve a fair bit of deception, especially self-deception. They are also delusional, but the mental illness aspect is variable depending on the intent, and whether or not they know they are deceiving.
Some people believe in the power of crystals, or that they can communicate with the dead. There are many odd belief systems where the person can still function, and does not set out to harm others. If they persist in certain esoteric beliefs, they may bring harm to themselves, and they may become mentally deranged. It just depends on whether or not they can stay grounded in reality, when it comes to the functional aspects of their lives.
People who dabble in oddities, might be deceived themselves, but they do not they think they are lying. If the beliefs become so extreme, or consuming, that they cannot function, or if it causes them to do harm to others, then they border on psychosis. True psychosis is the most debilitating, because there is a complete break from reality.
Pathological lying is very different, because there is intent, motive, and a certain amount of rational thought processes associated with lies. In my opinion, the pathological liar is functionally delusional, but is in complete control of his faculties. He is not psychotic. He is able to craft a plan, and carry it out, for reasons only he may know, but nevertheless, in his mind, the reasons are rational ones. Pathological liars are more likely to have personality disorders, as opposed to being diagnosed with psychosis, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. In other words, they know full well what they are doing.
It is understandable why the distinction must be made between rational thought, psychosis, delusions, and criminal intent. I can see why many criminals try to use an insanity defence, but the laws usually do not permit it. In my opinion, even if a person does meet the criteria for insanity while committing a crime of violence, he or she should still get the same sentence. The vast majority of people who are mentally ill, do not commit violent crimes.
Government lies are perhaps among the most convoluted lies of all. They can demonstrate an evil force that goes against every law, and the entire populations they are entrusted to serve. They too, eventually get exposed, and the liars go on their merry way, all the richer for the many devious schemes. In some cases, there will not be justice for lies until the great white throne of judgement happens.
The Healthline article does state that self interest, is the primary cause of pathological lying. It goes on to say that in some cases, there is no clear benefit, which makes it increasingly frustrating, because the lies are adhered to for no apparent reason.
The underlying motives though, seem to revolve around the liar portraying him or herself as being the hero, or the victim. The lies are designed to gain admiration, or sympathy. They create a shallow attempt to bolster their own self image.
Although we should avoid telling lies, many people lie infrequently, and in ways that are not pathological. These are often referred to as “little white lies”. The intent behind this type of lying, is to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or to get out of doing something you don’t want to do. Examples like saying you are sick, and going fishing. Or saying you have a headache when you don’t want to go somewhere. Or telling someone you like their outfit or hair do, when you think it looks ridiculous. Then behind their back, you tell someone else what you really think.
The difference between white lies and pathological lies, is that white lies are small fibs, are not longstanding, are not repeated over and over, are not part of a devious scheme, and have no malicious intent. In fact, many decent people who do have a moral compass, will immediately feel guilty for lying, especially if it caused harm to another person.
Whereas pathological lies become an entrenched, and personal pattern, until they become a central part of the character, and a disordered character at that. The lies are told repeatedly, consistently, and often for no apparent reason. They are designed to make the liar look heroic, or to gain sympathy, or to intentionally and sadistically abuse another person.
The liar might get enjoyment out of causing distress to others. He might find it amusing, or it might be like a trump card for him, proving to himself how clever he is. Even though it is all about self exaltation, paradoxically, liars like this, are not deterred by guilt, or getting found out.
The primary objective of a structured falsehood, is to create a false history. They then carry the false history into the future, and build upon it. Another recent example of an exposed pathological liar, is Mary Turpel-Lafond. She is clearly of European heritage, yet she lied pathologically about her origins, and family history, making false claims to be of Indigenous heritage.
In her case, she did this so she could boast academic accomplishments, after coming from hardship and adversity. Her lies were not only about her heritage. She also made false claims about having a family background of alcoholism and domestic violence, which gained her more sympathy. She made numerous false academic claims, and got several honorary doctorate degrees from different Universities, all based on lies. She started lying as a young person, claiming to be a child prodigy, which was also false. Her family, and the people around her, must have enabled these lies, because they went on for years.
But she too, with her legacy of lies, disgraced all she had accomplished, when if she hadn’t embarked on such a course, she might have done well, and kept her integrity intact. Now, one by one, all the Universities, and people she was associated with, are taking away her honorary degrees. She has been put out to pasture, with a stain on the truth of her background, bigger than a cow field full of manure.
These are just some of the examples of the outcomes of pathological lying. They are also based on the exposure of the known lies. A pathological liar is likely to have lied about almost everything in their lives. They leave a trail of broken victims, who are left to pick up the pieces, or who may never be able to get out from under the lies.
Although not all lies lead to drama and murder, all lies most certainly can lead to murder. If greed, revenge and lies are part of the equation, it can become a more serious and diabolical plot. Millions of true crime stories attest to the fact. The majority of people are killed by someone they know, and saddest of all, it usually involves a family member. People are harmed by those they love and trust the most. It is as old as the story of Abel and Cain.
Some of the tips in the Healthline article on coping with pathological liars tell us; don’t lose your temper. But in my opinion, we do have to find a way to fight back, if the lies are about our own lives and history. After repeatedly pleading with liars to give it up and drop it, if nothing else works, there is no choice but to fight back.
We cannot live our entire lives under a pack of lies about who we are, and where we came from. Liars can lie about themselves, but when they drag other people into it, what are the options? It does make you angry. I can attest to that much from my own experiences with this pathology.
The next bit of advice is to; expect denial. Of course. Or else they are likely to become enraged, express shock at the accusation, and punish you for the confrontation. That is a true statement, based on my own experiences.
The article then tells us that the “lying is not about you”. It is about the underlying issues with the liar. I don’t really buy it, because if they make the lies about me, then it is about me. I don’t really care if people lie about their own lives. Malicious lies about other people are not just about the liar, although they may be the ones who are creators of the cause of harm, they are also intentionally involving other people.
The next tip is: don’t engage them. Well guess what? The liars engage us. We have no choice in the matter. If you mean, walk away when they lie? Avoid the lies? I can guarantee you, that does not work. They keep right on lying. And they will add layers to the lies, calling you mentally ill just for challenging their lies. It is a never ending vicious cycle.
From personal experience, I have to admit, I did not always handle all the lies directed at my own life well. I was plagued by a high school teacher, who in collusion with a family member, made false claims to have adopted me. He claimed to have adopted me, just months before I graduated from high school. He also made false claims to have put me through nursing school. Much of this do-gooder facade was based on the fact he was steeped in a religion called the Exclusive Brethren. I was constantly ordered to have gratitude for such a wonderful Christian. It took me many years to realize the Exclusive Brethren religion is an abusive cult.
None of it was even remotely true. I was not up for adoption. None of my siblings were adopted. It was an absurd pack of lies. The teacher went so far as to tell me what he “liked to believe” and would go on to say, he wanted to believe he had me since I was a very small child. He also told me God had told him to adopt me. Clearly he was delusional from the start. I had never even laid eyes on this guy until I was in high school. He was a complete stranger to me, and he only got stranger as time went on.
Another one of the teacher’s repeated lies, was when people would raise an eyebrow expressing doubt about his motives, and question him about his relationship with me. He would then drop his head with a look of feigned concern, and say, “intervention was required.” He would also repeatedly tell me that I had the “exact same IQ as his wife.” When I would argue or say, How is that even possible? He would puff up and repeat it with even more emphasis on “EXACT SAME”. Why would any teacher say that to a student?
He would also tell me he had unconditional love for me. He told me I would never get away, never escape, because he would HUNT me down. He told me my family would never support me. He repeatedly said our mother was wicked and evil. She did not deserve to be my mother. He had a profound hatred for our mother, even though he did not even know her.
In addition to the false accusation about intervention, the lying teacher would also claim I was mentally ill, and used it as another avenue of abuse of power, to coerce and control me, and force compliance. Every single time I said no, or showed defiance toward him, and his false adoption claims, I was accused of being mentally ill. In collusion with my own family, he used this accusation, as a way to slander, and maintain control for years. He was invited to every family function, and treated with absolute reverence. He really should have been held accountable for his lawlessness, and abuse of power. To this day, I am punished relentlessly for finally terminating that relationship, and making sure he has no further access to me.
I would feel enraged at his lies, yet I could not say a word, because he was all puffed up with his all encompassing authority. It was a self-appointed, self-righteous authority over my life that followed me for years and years, long after leaving the hick town school. When this guy embarked on his lying scheme to take over my life, he was just twenty-eight years old. He was a brand new teacher, with a god complex, who was totally obsessed with a teenage student in a public school. He never shut up about me. He lied to other teachers, other students, members of the community, my own family, extended family, ad infinitum. Clearly, he was the one who needed intervention.
How is it okay from a teacher’s perspective, or anyone’s perspective, to claim that a kid who accelerates through school, consistently passes with honours, comes from extreme adversity, and graduates at the age of sixteen, required intervention? I was also President of the Student’s Union, was active in all kinds of school activities, and played various sports.
After graduating, I continued to play basketball at Mount Royal University. As far as post-secondary education was concerned, I continued to get good grades, when I was living almost two hundred miles away from the lying teacher. I wrote the RN exams at the age of nineteen, and scored in the top two to five percentile in all of Canada. The teacher had absolutely nothing to do with my academic inclinations. He most certainly took credit for them though. It was a form of inescapable thievery, through nothing but a pack of lies.
All of what I am describing is provable. But regardless, the lies continued, and continue to this day. How can anyone claim to have adopted someone when it is false? You would think of all lies one can come up with, it is one of the easiest to prove. But did it matter? Not one bit.
Pathological liars have more gall than most people can even imagine. Are they mentally sick and delusional? Or is it just a propensity for evil? Do they have the devil on speed dial? Who knows? All the years I have been plagued and punished by these lies, I still cannot comprehend why anyone would do such a thing to another person.
Any relationship that involves force, and will not take no for an answer, is not a relationship of choice. It is structured by an extreme imbalance of power. There is no such thing as equality in such a relationship. That was proven time and time again, by the dominance, superiority, and orders I got from my own family to “be grateful for this wonderful Christian”. Wonderful Christian? He was nothing of the sort. In fact he was the extreme opposite. Some day, he will face the music for what he did to my life, and my family life. I cannot even drum up any mercy for him, and have to pray for the capacity to forgive him, because I don’t even want to forgive him.
Although the shaming, and stupendous unfairness of his lifelong accusations, combined with forcing a pseudo-adoption relationship on me for life, and also forcing me into nursing, to be sure I had no other career path, it wasn’t even the half of it all. Not even close. I did well in school because I wanted to go to University, and excel academically, as I viewed it as the only way to get out of a trap of familial abuse and violence. I did not want to end up in a trap like our mother did. I should not have been chased down, and forced into anything, just months before graduating from high school.
It took me years to realize that no matter what I was doing, even if I was flunking out, running away, in trouble with the law, he had absolutely no right to do what he did. If I really did require intervention, he would have had no interest in me. His goal was to exploit for his own selfish reasons. It does not matter, if I had been dumb as a sack of hammers. It does not matter if I would have been crazy, and out of control. It was NOT up to him to follow me around, obsess over me, chase me down, force me into a car, and repeatedly take me home with him for a night of tortuous brainwashing. Teachers do not normally get to do that to anyone, for any reason. So the aspect of being gifted academically is actually a moot point. He was an opportunistic predator, no different than any creep who becomes obsessed with vulnerable young girls.
But I was bullied and dominated into subservience and compliance, even though I repeatedly said no, I could not escape the lies. I had to pretend to go along with it, in order to be able to finish school, and in order to be a member of my own family. There were threats of violence and previous violence involved, so I was conditioned to find ways to get along, in order to avoid more punishment.
Even telling my story creates a huge risk of more backlash and punishment. Rejecting the teacher has turned me into the evil monster, and brought about even more false accusations and lies. They simply will not give it up, and there is enough power and wealth behind it all, to keep it going. I have no power. The only power I do have is to tell the truth.
It went on for years and years. I tried every conceivable way to convince the teacher, and my own family, to drop the lies about my life, my heritage, who I am, the family I was born into, and the fact this teacher did not put me through nursing. I was underage for crying out loud. What kid has a lifelong debt bondage, for post secondary education received while under the age of eighteen?
As a result of these experiences, I came to absolutely loathe liars, and lying. Eventually my heart broke into open rebellion. I barely knew the teacher, and yet for years he would stare me down, and then tell me I was his daughter. He lied without flinching. It sickened and embarrassed me. I was always trying to shrink away from the lies, but they followed me wherever I went. The lies have caused me endless grief, to this day. But, I cannot change what happened, or the fact the lies became entrenched. I just have to find a way to let go of it all.
One thing for certain, I will not allow anyone to lie about my background, or the family I was born into, ever again. I will never give that teacher access to me again either. I even check the obituaries periodically to see if he died yet, so maybe I will finally be free of the constant repetition of those lies. The plot to take over who I am, and rob me of my own identity, was cruel to the core of my existence. I am so done with it. But the punishment for ditching the teacher never ends, just as he promised I would never get free of him. He would growl, “Oh no, you will never get away, your family won’t support you.” Or he would say, “Don’t you even think about getting away, ’cause I will HUNT you down.” Nice guy eh?
I think the measure of the depth of pathology or evil, when it comes to lying, is proportionate to the harm it causes to an innocent victim. I also believe the persistence in maintaining the lies, in spite of the knowledge it is causing extreme distress, and losses for the victim, indicates an underlying mental health disorder or sociopathy.
If there is also an imbalance of power, threats, and punishment for non-compliance with the lies, it demonstrate the degree to which a person will abuse power, and manipulate others to inflict harm, and carry on with the lies.
In my opinion, all of these traits are indicative of a dangerous individual, who will do anything at all to another human being, without a shred of remorse. He is also capable of corrupting, and manipulating others, especially if he has power, influence and wealth. Tick all the boxes, and what do you have?
The diagnosis of a pathological liar depends on whether or not there are underlying medical or psychiatric conditions. Primarily though, it all depends on whether or not they get caught, and held accountable by a higher authority. But in the absence of charges, or the progression to more serious crimes, such as what happened with Alex Murdaugh, the pathological liar leaves a train wreck in his path, and never looks back.
The devil loves a liar, and will reward those who lie without remorse, with no end in sight. He will exalt the liars, and lying in a multitude of ways. At the same time God, through His word, tells us over and over, what is going to happen to the liar, and to those who harm others for their own gain.
It is like the two forces of good and evil, are travelling through time toward each other, headed for one big clash of wills, and ultimate takeover of power. When God’s patience finally runs out – we already know who is going to win the battle.
It is the reason God keeps telling people over and over, to repent. He said people are given the time and space to repent, and yet they “repented not”. As it all progresses toward the end of the line, God’s wrath increases. He knows every lie, and every reason behind those lies. Just like he knew the original lie in the Garden of Eden. He knows them all. He repeatedly promises, and warns, that they will not go unpunished.
For the downtrodden, and all the victims of lying and liars, the day of reckoning will come. It seems to take forever, but when it does finally happen, look out, and look up! Give thanks. It will be a colossal relief.
Some insightful quotes I looked up about liars and lying:
“Honesty is of God and dishonesty of the devil; the devil was a liar from the beginning.” Joseph B. Wirthlin
“If you are a liar, a person of low moral fortitude, really any explanation you need to be true can be true. Especially if you are smart enough. You can figure out a way to justify anything.” Samuel Witwer
“A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth.” Aesop
“Sometimes the point isn’t to make people believe a lie – it’s to make people fear the liar.” Anne Applebaum
Hmm the first and last quote really ring true. Now it’s my turn to come up with a good quote about liars and lying. I don’t really wish to see anyone face the ultimate lake of fire punishment as described in the Bible. But I do want to see the lies go up in flames. We all have to separate ourselves from lies, and learn to seek and love the truth. Lies are very destructive. There is no doubt about it.
All sins, including lies, can be forgiven by Jesus, since that is the gospel promise to all of us. A person has to seek forgiveness, and recognize what they did, as well as believe and trust Jesus. For some unknown reason, some people will never admit wrongdoing, repent, have remorse, or even acknowledge harm done to another person’s life. It just goes to show how persistent lies can harden hearts.
I have felt much guilt over my own difficulty in forgiving these lies, and just have to let it go and trust God, knowing the teacher tried to mimic God, and pretend he was some kind of saviour, even though I said no and told him to leave me alone at the onset of it all. Even as a young person, I knew there was nothing Godly about his actions and attitudes in spite of how religious he pretended to be.
He would never once take no for an answer, or listen to my arguments. It was like I was a non-person, an object he thought he owned for some reason. My opinion of him, and all his lies is rather harsh, but I do hope he repents, and stops manipulating punishment and family breakdown. The Exclusive Brethren cult is known for ripping families apart. The fact this guy was a random teacher in a public school really burns me to this day. He had an incredible sense of entitlement because of his false religion. The arrogance was staggering. We do not do the judging, and nor are we to take pleasure in the concept of the fate of those who do not repent and stop causing harm to others.
As all Christians know, the Bible has many descriptions about the lake of fire, and the second death, on the final judgement day. Truthfully, if not for the grace of God and what Christ did for us on the cross, we would all be destined for the fire. I have much gratitude for having recognized the magnitude of my own wrongdoing. Only Jesus can forgive us, and save us from the ultimate judgement. No matter what we have done, we should search our own lives and hearts, seek forgiveness, and then turn away from the old ways. Our eternal life depends on it.
“Lies create a monument, where self becomes the worshipper of self. They are built upon a foundation of loose rocks in the head, and shifting sand under the feet. They are watered with kerosene. The day will come, when the liar’s soul will reek, smolder, then collapse and burn. But before it ignites, the degenerates are lit up for all to see, in the backdrop of the shadows they themselves have created.” Valerie Hayes
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Murdaugh trial is ongoing, with a series of convoluted twists and turns. It is no wonder Netflix has already latched onto the “Southern Scandal.” It is more aptly, the southern scandal of the century. The unfolding of this saga supersedes any crime story conceivable. There are more elements to it than a row of hot stoves, with all the burners on high.
Speaking of high, Alex Murdaugh’s opiate addiction is just one of the elements and backdrop of this grisly outcome. Even though I have only watched snippets of the trial, it appears this was one crooked lawyer, who was not only addicted to opiates, but more so to greed. At the heart of what is heartless, is almost always a common denominator steeped in the love of money, and longstanding patterns of deception.
This is a paraphrased recap or outline, of my own interpretations, after listening to some of the trial proceedings, which is at times boring, and at times spellbinding – like it came right out of a dramatic good against evil novel. It depicts characters who were genuine, honest, and gave detailed and strong testimony, against what was essentially a hotbed of lies, thievery, cover ups, familial entitlement, deaths, money, and manipulation.
The trial is actually a murder trial with a very crooked path leading up to it all. The youngest son Paul, and the soon to be ex-wife Maggie, were shot to death in June of 2021, on a large property owned by the Murdaugh family.
There were other suspicious deaths surrounding the family, and multiple unfolding scandals. Specifically there was a litany of financial crimes by Alex Murdaugh that were exposed, just prior to these horrific murders.
Other deaths associated with the family, included a long time housekeeper of the Murdaugh family, who supposedly died in a slip and fall accident at the Murdaugh home. After that death, which was never fully investigated, Alex offered her sons, one of whom is disabled, to sue his own insurance company on their behalf. They agreed, believing he was acting in good faith. However, after suing and collecting a large sum of several million dollars, he stole the money, and her kids got shafted.
In another death case involving the family in 2015, a gay friend of the oldest Murdaugh son, was found dead on the road, after it was rumoured the two young men had a relationship of some sort. From what I read, the location he was found, was close to the Murdaugh residence. The victim’s family believed it was a suspicious death. It was ruled to be a hit and run, and like the death of the housekeeper, was never fully resolved. Justice was not served in either case.
The youngest son Paul, in addition to the infamous boating accident, also had a prior serious vehicle accident. Apparently his grandfather, and father Alex, were called immediately afterwards, and cleaned up all the beer cans and guns from the scene, before the police arrived. The boys knew they could count on their father, mother, and grandfather, to get them out of trouble.
It appears the family name, the hundred year family legal legacy in the area, and the perceived pillars of reputation and wealth, all contributed to a sense of entitlement that most certainly went awry as time went on. One wonders if the original lawyer grandfather, who started it all, was equally corrupt. Although this is pure speculation on my part, it does sound like one of those “sins of the father” intergenerational type sagas.
In 2019, during a rowdy night of partying, the youngest son Paul, who had a history of erratic and violent behaviour while drinking, as well as previous driving accidents, crashed his father’s boat. This led to the death of a beautiful young woman, and serious injuries to a couple others. It took days to find her body. In addition, there was an immediate attempt to cover it up. The Murdaugh family claimed another person was driving the boat.
In addition, Paul’s girlfriend had reported several instances of his violence toward her, including the night of the accident. Apparently he slapped her when she told him he was acting crazy. In another case, she claimed he throttled her. Her friends and family warned her to stay away from him.
Paul was also described as having a lot of energy, and was upbeat, likeable, and worked hard when not drinking. Unfortunately his life was cut short, as he may have cleaned up his act at some point. But he never got the chance to make the changes that might help him overcome the deeply inverted, and chaotic sense of entitlement that contributed to his early demise.
It goes to show how much the grace of God is a central part of enabling any of us to find forgiveness, and clean up our act, before we come to the final appointment with death. In the case of this young man, we don’t really know if he had remorse, or was contemplating changing his life. Like many people, especially young people, he probably thought he had lots of time to figure it all out.
It is quite possible in hindsight, for those who knew him, to admit Paul may have also had a serious addiction problem, since addiction often has a genetic, and familial origin. There are reports he was drinking and out of control often, starting in his early teens. As young kids, they had frequent, and easy access to alcohol. As it is with many people, it was widely accepted, and encouraged in their social circles.
The fact he became erratic, and out of control when drinking, does speak to a much deeper problem. Sadly, he never got the time to reflect on the destructive patterns of addiction, and realize he had fallen into the trap too. As he emerged from adolescence to adulthood, he also never got the chance to be held accountable, to help him learn how to avoid the problems it brought to his life.
How could anyone have possibly known that instead of legal accountability, he would be murdered by his own father because of that accident? His father was the person who had established the pattern of entitlement, and lack of accountability. When it came back to haunt him, he did the unthinkable. He blamed his immature young son, with a malice and resentment that could not be contained, or reconciled beyond his love of money, and his own self-centred life.
I found it to be cringe worthy when he referred to the son he murdered as Paw Paw, a childhood nickname. As many things with the case, it brought out an uncanny comparison to the dog kennels, and the final exchange Paul had with his friend, over one of the dogs in the kennel. Paw Paw did end up leaving the evidence behind that ultimately convicted his father, based on the tail of a dog in the kennel. The evidence ended up becoming Paw Paw’s tale of a dog. It was recorded on Paul’s phone, and put Alex at the scene, beyond a reasonable doubt.
Another thing this trial highlighted, is the central role cell phone technology plays in establishing timelines, and evidence. The events that took place were logged, right down to the steps each person took, every number that was called, and the number of seconds those calls lasted. Every action, and reaction, is documented and recorded.
Cell phone technology might even have more relevance than DNA, because it speaks to the specific movements, communications, texts, calls, and locations, as the crime unfolded. How anyone thinks they can get away with murder is beyond me. Some of these arrogant killers think they are covering their tracks brilliantly, when in fact they are leaving a record of what they did, and a trail of evidence. He was apparently a good lawyer, but he was most certainly no genius.
Apparently Paul was using his older brother’s ID to buy alcohol, before he was of legal age. Even though there is a fair bit of judgement toward him, the poor kid probably had no real understanding of addiction, yet he knew of his father’s addiction to pills, and was both confused and concerned. This story is tragic on so many levels. It appears there is layer upon layer of dysfunction, covered by a facade of wealth and success.
The family background boasts around a hundred years of lawyers, all of who had very successful practices. The grandfather Randolph, was involved in multiple cover ups, to protect his wayward son, and grandsons. He was using his influence, even when his health was failing, and he was in and out of hospital. He must have been blown away himself, when the murders happened.
Perhaps in the grandfather’s own final hours on this earth, the murders created enough of a shock for him to throw in the towel. His own life, and legacy, also came to an end, following the murders of Maggie and Paul.
If he was cognitively intact, it is doubtful it was a peaceful death, although it may have been a welcome one. I wonder if the old man, had a flood of awareness before he died, regarding his own role in the family tragedy. Apparently his picture was taken off the wall in the court house, and/or law firm, that had become so much a part of his identity and accomplishments. It all went up in a puff of smoke and mirrors. Perhaps he saw himself, and his son for what they truly were, and came to represent. Surely, it was the opposite of what he had always believed to be true.
In the midst of all this murder, accidents and mayhem, was not only a propensity for opiates on the part of Alex Murdaugh, but more so, profound and addictive greed. The love of money seemed to be the root of the evil, swirling around every deal, like a witches cauldron of lies, theft, and more lies.
Ultimately the countless thefts of attorney fees and client disbursements came to light, and was investigated, leading to the ousting of Alex Murdaugh from an industry founded and steeped in his own family legacy. He stole millions of dollars, from his own co-workers, friends, and disabled clients who trusted him. He lied to all of them with ease, all the while pretending to be on their side.
He put the accounting firm, and his own paralegal in a very tough spot, as they began to see the red flags, and financial discrepancies. The walls were closing in on him.
Although the outcome of the trial is not determined, and he has not been convicted yet, he most certainly does appear to have set up the murders, and whether he had help or not, he was there, and lied about it too. He had asked both his wife and son to meet him at one of their properties, which is where they were killed. He claimed he was not there at the time, but all the evidence showed he was there.
If he did kill them, as the trial has gone on, the motive does become fairly obvious. His wife was about to divorce him, which would have forced him to give her a share of the assets. That in itself is a frequent motive for spousal murders. But it appeared to be only one of the many layers, and motives involved in this case. He was also seeking sympathy, diversion, and victimhood for himself.
As far as the murder of his son Paul, the attorney for the family of the woman who died in the boating accident, was putting tremendous pressure on Alex. He was demanding disclosure of all his bank accounts, assets, and was seeking a large settlement on behalf of the family whose daughter was killed.
The attorney who was seeking a settlement over the boating accident, was determined, clear, and stoic. The contrast between some of these lawyers, is like night and day. The testimonies during this trial, has really given the public insight into what might otherwise never be known about the practices in law firms, and the crooked, versus the straight shooters. What a difference there is for all to see, when they are put on the stand.
It turns out the boat driven by his son Paul, was owned by Alex, and was under insured. Alex was on the hook for a very large sum of money. In a twisted way, these murders were skewed to look like they could have been in retaliation over the boating accident, in which case Alex played the role of a grieving victim, and all lawsuits would have been dropped. That was of course, until he became the number one suspect.
To make matters worse, Alex then hired his drug dealer to shoot him in the head, which turned out to be a superficial wound. He claimed it was an attempt to end his life so his oldest son could collect a ten million dollar life insurance policy. This guy never seemed to stop scheming up ways to make a buck. But more likely, it was another sympathy ploy, or diversion tactic, to make it look like he too was at risk of retaliation, and being a murder victim. It is difficult to know for sure, until the trial and verdict is in, and the investigative true crime writers collect all the trial transcripts, and connect all the dots.
Even though he has yet to be convicted of the murders, one thing that surfaces time, and time again throughout the trial, is the lies. One after another, with literally hundreds of examples.
Is it any wonder the Bible refers to the devil as being the father of lies? This case proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, how damaging lies can be. Not only for the victims, co-workers, family, friends, organizations, and accounting practices. But for the liar himself, it corrodes and corrupts the essence of who he is. No one can trust him. His shame when under scrutiny, sears his entire persona, like a branding iron. He will not live it down now. His lies made him what he is. They shaped the monument of self exaltation within him, into an internal dialogue of babble-on.
Love needs trust in order to exist and thrive. Marriages without trust are doomed to fail. The same goes for other relationships. Without trust, how can there be love? Lies are everything that is against God, and it is no wonder lies top the things God hates the most. Lies are like poison. Every lie is a snake bite, and the venom circulates, and seeps into every crevice, nook and cranny around it.
We cannot live a life of lies. Whatever the cost, getting free of the snare caused by lies, is more important than life on this earth. Lies are a profoundly destructive force in this world. This example proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Every single witness shows whether or not they are truthful.
The truth shines through like a light, from those who have integrity. They come across as the salt of the earth. In sharp contrast, the lies show an existential, vacuous human being, without a soul. It is so obvious, it is jarring.
Alex Murdaugh did give testimony, and although you could tell much of it was rehearsed, and he clearly is, and always was, a pathological liar. He also came across as a weak, trembling, overwhelmed, and vulnerable addict. He claimed he was taking up to sixty oxycodone a day, which I personally don’t believe. If he took that much, he would be dead, or at the very least, he would be in liver failure.
Occasionally, he showed a flash of anger at some of the questions he was asked. But for the most part, his demeanour was contrite. But who knows if it is all an act? He is a master when it comes to deception, and fooling people.
In spite of his raging addiction to opiates, he was still functioning, and apparently was settling 50-60% of the cases for the law firm. He was socially active, driving, going to parties, visiting his ailing parents, and juggling multiple balls at once. He does not come across as really brilliant, but he certainly seemed to know his stuff, and have good recollection, on most of what he was grilled about.
He did have some memory lapses here and there, which may have been out of convenience. He also went into animated descriptions on what seemed to be irrelevant details. One bizarre thing that comes to mind, is when he described how the dog had chased and caught a chicken. He added that the dog didn’t usually kill the chicken, and then went on to describe how you take a chicken out of a dog’s mouth, “you put your hand right back of the throat, where the back teeth are, and push down hard, and he’ll let right go of it.”
He then added where he set the chicken after he rescued it, on top of the dog house or crate. After all that, he said “I think it did die though”. What a strange thing to focus on, considering the magnitude of the circumstances, and death of his wife and son in the same location. He describes details about a chicken dying at the scene too? It was almost like he was creating an analogy of sorts. He was the rescuer, he tried, but he failed, and the “poor chicken” died regardless.
For all those who were associated with this family, there must be an incredible amount of shock, horror, and speculation. Nothing was as it seems. So far, there has been no justice for the victims, to include the deaths, as well as the plethora of financial crimes.
Who knows how it will all turn out? If there is anything to take away, it is how a sense of entitlement, and a love of money, can lead to unprecedented tragedy, and the downfall of a hundred year long family legacy. This case is tangled up in a hundred years of familial legal wrangling, only to ensnare and destroy the very origins of that legacy.
It looks like they were the beginning, and the ending of the exposed and crooked lawyer developments in South Carolina. The grandfather died just days after the murders. The grandmother is in end stages of dementia.
That left Alex, Maggie, and their two beautiful red headed boys. If Alex goes to jail, only the oldest son is left to try and sort out what happened. Apparently he had already been kicked out of University, so it is doubtful he will become a lawyer, to carry on such a vile legacy.
For those who watch and follow this trial, there are so many sobering reflections to make, especially when it comes to family values. All deceptions, and mistreatment of others, will eventually have consequences. All families have members who struggle with addiction. All families have members who might deceive, and side with money, over and above truth, and fair play. When that happens, love and reputation is compromised for the entire family, and community around them, including those they work with.
What this story reveals is that in the long run, deception, and greed, becomes like a cancer, and will destroy the people in its path. Nothing done in secret remains a secret. It simmers, until it finally boils over onto the elements of a hot stove.
Just as the truth of his misdeeds were exposed during the trial of Alex Murdaugh, it goes to show, there comes a day of reckoning for all deception, and judgment, whether it is in this world, or waits until after death. Misdeeds, greed, and unlawful conduct, do not stay hidden forever. No one can simply eliminate another person, and pretend it never happened. To do so only makes it worse, far worse.
Perhaps the most profound aspect of it all, is how arrogance and pride comes before the fall. How far the fall, is in direct proportion to the heights achieved. It also demonstrates that greed too, can be an addiction. Our perceptions of wealth, and success are often skewed by the underlying greed, which we often do not recognize as the true motive for overt, and opulent images of success.
Extreme wealth is viewed as the opposite of addiction, yet it has much in common with many addictive behaviours, and attitudes. One of the most common signs of greed, is the inclination to disregard the rights of others, for the sake of money. People lose their value, unless they can fit into the template of expectations, and are willing to be manipulated with no end in sight.
Even though not all families have a legal legacy like this family did, all families do have a legacy of skeletons, injustices, and deceptions to be resolved. The extent of it depends on the number of years it has gone on, the degree and depth of the deceptions, and the amount of wealth, and legacy behind it all. It can all crumble very rapidly, if it is not on a solid foundation. We would be wise to reconcile things while we still can.
Some things about this particular family tragedy, really stick in your mind. For me, it is seeing the two red headed boys, who clearly have the carrot top DNA of their dad, which only serves to emphasize the fact they were his own flesh and blood. Family is family. It is an undeniable fact, yet what one family member can to do another, is beyond comprehension. What good is the money going to do him now? What good is the money going to do the grandfather when he is dead? Clearly there must be a time of realization when money finally loses all value. For those who sell their souls for money, what a tragic realization it must be.
The erosion of values does not happen overnight. It is insidious long before it become hideous. It happens one lie at a time. Each manipulation, deception, or mistreatment that violates the rights of another human being, actually robs the person who is doing it, of his or her own character. Eventually the person is a vile, shallow shell of a person, who sold their own soul for money, and lost everything in the process.
And perhaps even more so, was the mundane things Maggie and Paul were doing, and sharing with family and friends, in the hours and minutes leading up to the murders. One cannot help but wonder what went through their minds in that final moment of realization.
I think one of the most poignant things of all, was when the young son Paul texted his mom, and asked what was for dinner. She replied “Southern fried steak, and macaroni and cheese”. It was their last meal.
March 3rd Update – He did get convicted after all, and was sentenced to life in prison. Justice was served. Alex Murdaugh seemed to have burned everything, and everyone he ever came across. He loved money more than he loved his own family. No doubt his wheels are turning for an appeal. But when a person burns so many, there is nothing but charred remains. No one can resurrect an appeal from the ashes of murder, greed and lies. He is the one who lit the fire, and it consumed him.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I just read an article, which I will post in a link at the end of this blog post. It is an expert psychiatric assessment on the reviews and overview of women who kill their children. Apparently maternal homicide is more common in the US than any other country, however they did do a study on this topic covering thirty-nine different countries. In each case the study group was very small.
Sadly child homicide is listed in the top three or four causes of death for children. The term for it is filicide, and for newborns or infants, is called infanticide. Although a high percentage of women experience postpartum depression, very few take it to the extreme of actually harming or murdering their child, or all of their children.
However, something not addressed in the article is the fact that throughout history, there have been times of increased child homicides, some of them religious or occult in nature. In other cases, it was due to extreme hardship, in particular famine. The Bible has quite a few references to infant and child homicide, along with descriptions of some of the depravity leading up to it. Some of the atrocities cited are absolutely horrific.
Another topic not covered in the article is the use of, or overuse of psychoactive medications. I suppose the field of psychiatry would not be prone to taking any responsibility for the possibility that the very medications they prescribe might be contributing factors. Therefore, all expert psychiatric testimony might also carry an element of self protection, denial, and conflict of interest. However when you look at the background, and evidence from some of these famous cases, the mother was prescribed a range of potent psychotropic medications prior to the murders.
In other literature there are numerous articles written about suicidal and homicidal ideation for a percentage of those who take SSRI’s as it is a commonly prescribed antidepressant. In addition, antipsychotic medication played a role in the death of the Andrea Yates five children, because she was taking the drug Haldol, which was a potent and commonly prescribed antipsychotic used during that time frame, and has since been pulled from the market. There is a long list of reasons, and adverse reactions to demonstrate why it was finally removed as a general treatment for psychosis. As it is with so many other harmful medications, it took years before Haldol was finally taken out of general use, in order to protect the public.
In the case of Lindsay Clancy, she was prescribed a chemical soup of psychiatric medications, thirteen in total, but was apparently taking around four medications at the time of the murders. It is difficult to understand why a nurse would be willing to take so many potent medications, when she is caring for small children. One would presume she would know about the many severe side effects associated with such drugs, to include unpredictable reactions, confused thoughts, and irreversible, life altering movement disorders.
People immediately jump on the band wagon about mental illness, postpartum depression, and the lack of resources, lack of help, etc. In this case, it has been reported that Lindsay Clancy was going to an outpatient clinic five days a week. She was frequenting doctors so often, she had a long list of medications prescribed to her over a short time frame. Most people would not even see that many for one patient in a forensic psychiatric facility. Why was she so obsessive about seeking more medications, when she was functioning, going places, interacting with others, driving, etc.? How can anyone expect to feel wonderful every minute of every day?
It seemed she was totally obsessed with how she was feeling, as opposed to caring for a family. What mother does not experience fatigue, bad days, and resentment toward her spouse and child care at times? What is most abnormal, is the homicidal ideation, not the fact a person experiences depression or anxiety.
Historically, countless women have gone through far worse, and would never give a thought to killing their children. Women have lived through domestic violence, poverty, addictions, severe depression, severe illnesses, war, multiple births, washing clothes by hand or wringer washing machines, doing chores on a farm right after giving birth, living in forty below weather with only wood and coal to heat their homes, no running water, and so on. For the vast majority, killing their children is not even considered to be an option. In fact, most woman would die in order to save their children.
It is true that many women experience postpartum depression. But it is also true that most of those who do experience it, would never harm their child. To use this one very atypical case to make any kind of blanket judgements, or excuses for such an act of violence and premeditated murder, is a stretch we probably do not want to make. Lindsay Clancy in my opinion, had far more going on in her personality, and beliefs than what met the eye.
Her husband was working from home. She had family support, medical insurance, an education, and she kept detailed records of every nuance of her mental health, her anxiety, her thoughts, not wanting to go back to work, etc. Was this more about narcissism than anything else? Or was she setting the stage for a plan she already had in the back of her mind? Did she resent having to provide for, and care for the demands of small children? If life revolved around her, it might explain why she could not tolerate the attention given to her own children.
Sadly, there are certain traits or cases of narcissism where a mother believes the children are an extension of herself. She also might believe that since she gave them life, it is within her power to take away their lives.
Also it is interesting to note, her husband worked from a basement office in their home. She killed the children in the basement, and recently I read the little boy was found in his office. What was she trying to convey?
It is also disturbing to consider her choice of ligature. Did the children interfere with her time for exercise? Did they rob her of a perfect body? People are inclined to delve into the psyche of such an atrocity. Why exercise bands as opposed to some other type of ligature? These are a few more questions to be contemplated, because this woman did seem to know what she was doing. Resentment could very well be at the root of it all.
In recent years, the treatments for depression and psychiatric disorders has had more mind altering medications added to the chemical soup, to include ketamine and psilocybin. Nothing like introducing drugs that cause psychosis, hallucinations, and dissociative reactions, all under the guise of helping people. If they were not crazy to begin with, there is a cocktail of drugs to help them on their way. Once a person starts down this path, they may, or may not come back with all their faculties intact.
Using hallucinogens in psychiatric experiments is nothing new, because there are shady stories involving LSD, the CIA, and murders, using excessive amounts of LSD, often without the patient’s consent or awareness, going back to the sixties and seventies. Obviously I am digressing a fair bit from the professional article I just read. But as an RN, over the years, I must have handed out a million pills, and witnessed the side effects of those medications as well.
Historically, when there has been a rise in fascism, often psychiatry is at the forefront of torture and murder. First through poisoning with drugs, then the person becomes delusional and psychotic, and the next thing you know they are gone. Or they develop such severe movement disorders, they must be hospitalized, which places them at the mercy of more drugs, and even worse reactions.
I remember one psych patient who was in her late forties at the time I knew her. The psych nurse who ran a small facility to care for chronically ill psych patients told me she knew this woman years prior to all the treatment, when she was a normal person. She said she had been very intelligent, socially outgoing, articulate, and had been a school teacher. Over just a few years after she sought treatment, she had received so many medications and ECT treatments, she was no longer functional. She could hardly speak, could not take care of herself, and was an empty shell of her former self. What caused her to embark on such a journey? Apparently she sought treatment for a mild depression following the birth of her last child.
When a person is started on such medications, no one other than those close to them knows what they were like before they started taking the medications. The health care system assumes there must have been a legitimate and serious mental health disorder for a person to be prescribed antipsychotics. But it is not always the case, and there is no real documented baseline to go by. The psychiatrist is the one who prescribes the medications, and oversees the patient. People in the system seldom question his/her authority, and one thing to be aware of, psychiatrists are hooked on prescribing drugs. They often prescribe antipsychotics when there is absolutely no evidence or history of psychosis. Mind altering medications are designed to take control away from the patient, and hand it over to a “doctor” who often does not have the best interests of the patient in mind. Some do – but the profession itself is rife with abuse.
Once it has been established the person is mentally ill and under psychiatric care, it is easy to explain away why they jumped out of a window, committed suicide, or simply disappeared. Psychiatry also has a dark history of torture and experiments with people’s minds. In addition to the overuse of unproven drugs, other so-called therapies have included sleep deprivation, insulin shock, electric shock, nitrous oxide, and cryotherapy. All people should proceed with extreme caution, when navigating this highly questionable mind blowing industry.
Psychiatry as a specialty did not come into existence until the 1800’s, and initially was concerned primarily with those who were obviously very sick. At one time, people who had gone mad were locked away out of sight in deplorable conditions, and in some cases, they were even chained to trees. The early studies of mental health revolved around those who were manic, psychotic, brain injured, and considered to be complete lunatics. Until the 1800’s it was assumed people who were insane were possessed by demons.
The treatments in psychiatry for the population in general, have only been recently studied, and developed in the past hundred years or so. The bottom line is that human psychology, and the behavioural results of abnormal psychology, are poorly understood to this day. The same goes for all the medication used to treat the errant brain.
What makes people tick to make them sick? No doubt it is based on a galaxy of crossed motives, combined with genetics, neurochemistry, external influences, circumstances, stressors, resentments, manipulations, emotional instability, other over riding illnesses, spiritual beliefs, lack of self-awareness, intrinsic personality disorders, hormonal imbalances, poor diet, drugs, poor coping mechanisms, lack of exercise, lack of support systems, poor internal boundaries, poor impulse control, degree of self-centredness, the early development or lack of conscience, and family of origin experiences.
Can the things contributing to mental illness be overcome? Why not? As long as we have functioning brains, we can evaluate and make lifestyle changes to improve our stability and cognition. Diet and exercise make a huge difference. A commitment to maintaining self-control and stability, means you will not become insane. Above all, don’t seek a quick fix with pills. We should be able to trust our minds. One of the verses in the Bible I have found to be a great comfort:
2 Timothy 1:7 KJV “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and a sound mind.”
Now that I am older and wiser, I will take the Bible verses to heart over a pill any day. I do believe we are spiritual beings, and we need faith to help us overcome fear, anger and hopelessness more than we need to be medicated.
It is true, there are certain violent, psychotic and unstable people, who will become very dangerous if they do not take their medications. These are people who have to be institutionalized, and monitored closely, because they have no control over violent impulses. In all cases, they will also have had trouble with the law, a history of assaults, and a variety of other criminal behaviours.
Generally people who have depression or anxiety, do not fit into the same category as the out of control violent offenders. In fact, statistics show that more than 50% of all people will be diagnosed with a mental health disorder at some point in their life. Fortunately they do not all become homicidal maniacs. Of the 50% who are never diagnosed, there is no doubt they too, had to cope with anxiety, depression, addiction, or some other mental health disorder at some point. Struggles are a part of life. It does not mean we are all crazy, and in need of potent drugs.
The biggest question we should ask ourselves, is why the struggles and challenges we face throughout our lives are being diagnosed as mental illness? Just a few years ago, in depression screening, if a person was still grieving a loss such as the death of a spouse a year later, the person would be diagnosed and treated for depression, usually with SSRI antidepressants. Now the time frame for those who are grieving to be diagnosed with depression is just two weeks. It’s taking away the natural progression, and adjustments that are required in order to adapt to a loss. When people are grieving they are vulnerable, which makes them easy to exploit.
The DSM manual is referred to as a diagnostic bible for mental health disorders. Over the past fifty years the number of mental health disorders listed in the book has grown from forty or so, to several hundred. And it continues to evolve and grow exponentially. If you look at how they go about adding the various disorders, as well as who is behind it all, you would give your head a shake. It all sounds so academically uppity, but there is a motive to their madness orientation, and it is spelled medication.
One of the major pharmaceutical companies, when promoting drugs specifically for women, told the ghost writers and researchers “to dumb it down” for their target market. Nice eh? Now I see there are articles in the media claiming women are the fasted growing population with Alzheimers. Could it be because women live longer? Could it be because they want to promote HRT, or hormonal replacement drugs? What woman in her right mind, would not be incentivized to keep her mind?
Working in the health care field has made me cynical, and skeptical, with regards to the profit motives, in over medicating people. Over the years, I also noticed how much the drug companies minimize side effects. They would send drug reps to give the educational lectures for nurses.
We were then given post-basic educational credits for the drug company indoctrination. We used to just look at each other, and roll our eyes. I am more inclined to trust nature versus “her-ture” or “her-cure” carefully dumbed down for women.
We have already given them far too much business. The DSM and pharmaceutical influences, are turning mental health into a medicalized metaphor of fast fashion. How much of this diagnostic mania is “headed” for the landfills? At least with cheap clothes, they can be discarded more easily, than we can detoxify our minds, and bodies of weird drugs that no one fully understands. Even the brilliant corporate bigwigs and psychiatrists admit they don’t know how most of the psychoactive medications work, but they will smugly add “we just know they do work.” Oh really? How profound.
To top it off the entire scope of diagnostics around mental health has no measuring stick, no real diagnostic criteria, no blood work, no ultrasound, or X-rays. They can do CT scans and MRI’s to determine if there is an organic brain disorder, or tumours. But as far as generalized anxiety and depression, it’s all based on perception. One must also differentiate whether or not it is the patient’s perception, or the doctor’s perception. There are many incentives to medicate people.
The article states that the percentage of men who kill their children is roughly equal to that of women. It also describes the high risk period in the immediate postnatal period of time, as having certain defining factors. Those high risk factors include unwanted pregnancies, teenage pregnancies, lack of support, lack of education, lack of a stable home environment, addiction, past trauma, etc.
In some countries if children are killed by the mother within the first year after birth, it is automatically considered to be a mental health issue, as opposed to a criminal act. It seems pretty clear that any mother who would kill her children is mentally ill. But the cause and the motives remain unclear, especially in cases where the mother is educated, supported, and living an outwardly normal life.
The case of Lindsay Clancy is probably one of the most perplexing cases of all, as it was clearly a premeditated act. If a sleep deprived, depressed mother throws her colicky baby against a wall at 3 am – it would be understood as an impulsive act. If a mentally ill woman gets to the stage where she is hearing voices, rambling on an on about UFOs or demons, and is increasingly erratic, dishevelled, and unable to care for herself or anyone else, it is also pretty obvious that she cannot take on any added responsibility.
But with Lindsay Clancy, she was driving, going to appointments, talking normally, sending photos of building snowmen, etc. without any cause for alarm. Unlike most severely mentally ill people, she was able to dress herself and the children, and carry out activities of daily living.
In addition, she was able to calculate the timelines to carry out the murders to the minute. She sent her husband on an errand, and checked the length of time on an Internet map to find out how long it would take to complete those errands. She had it figured out well in advance. Murder begins in the heart, then the thoughts, then the planning, then the action. It is interesting to note that many murderers, to include depressed and homicidal mothers, will create a detailed to do list, which is often located by police when doing the investigation.
Some of those lists are chilling, like all the purchases they need to make are put onto a shopping list. Things like shovel, gloves, tarp, bleach, and other cleaning supplies. You would think when it comes to the actual planning, most people would come to their senses. But the evidence ends up proving otherwise.
In many cases the delusions, or self deception surrounding murder, revolves around mercy killing, sending the person to heaven, doing the world and God a favour, etc. Such is the capacity for denial and self deception. It also explains why so many refuse to take responsibility for their crimes, firmly believing they had no other choice, or that it was done through a fault not attributed to themselves. A lack of remorse is a dire indication of psychopathy and evil.
In one comment section on the Lindsay Clancy case, a person claiming to be a healthcare professional, said it was not Lindsay who carried out the murders, but rather it was the psychosis that carried out the murders. Apparently she had nothing to do with it. How people come up with such skewed logic is beyond me. I don’t believe she should be automatically hanged by public opinion. Nor do I believe she should be automatically exonerated. Hopefully, the judicial system is intact enough to present the evidence, along with balanced legal arguments.
From what is known already, Lindsay Clancy also created a to do list. It has been reported she calculated the timelines through Internet map checks, and sent her husband to a takeout place, further away than the normal takeout places they would use to get food. She also asked him to stop at a drug store to buy a children’s laxative, which is really strange, considering what her plans were. It shows she was putting on an act of normalcy, added to the errand, to stall the husband, in order to give herself enough time to carry out the murders. Apparently she also acted cheerful, and normal on that particular day, so there was no cause for alarm.
Her husband claimed she had been having a “good day, one of her better days.” Incredible really. Much more so, than if she had been acting strangely. She very capably hid her true motives and plans from all those around her. No doubt it will be a bone to chew on for the prosecution, and a difficult scenario to defend. They can hardly claim she was deranged, and sick beyond comprehension.
Andrea Yates also had a to do list, in that she waited until her husband was gone for an hour or so. She also had only a brief window of time, because her mother or mother-in-law was due to arrive to help care for the children, knowing Andrea was in a state of depression and mental instability.
Andrea Yates, like Lindsay Clancy, used that very brief window of time, when alone with the children, to carry out a calculated and premeditated to do list. Yates filled the bath tub with water, locked up the dog, and systematically drowned five children, one after the other. Following that, she laid them out, and posed them, with the baby in the crook of the arm of her big brother. Then she sat down and calmly made some phone calls.
Lindsay Clancy also executed a homicidal to do list, which begs the question whether or not these women had more in common with the general homicidal population, as opposed to the issue of postpartum depression. Of course, this is pure speculation on my part. People simply do not want to believe mothers can be murderers. But murder is something people in the general population can carry out, and mothers are part of the general population.
In my opinion what is most alarming is the outpouring of support for Lindsay Clancy, claiming what a wonderful perfect mother she was. Perhaps the issue of perfectionism, and the illusion of perfectionism versus reality needs to be explored more. If young women grow up with the idea of getting married and living happily ever after, with a white picket fence, and a romantic vision of a perfect life, perhaps they become quite disillusioned over time.
Given what she did, is it really in her best interests to have all her friends and co-workers write hundreds of letters claiming she was the perfect mother, and a wonderful caring nurse? Then how does anyone reconcile what she did, while still giving an outward appearance of being normal? Perhaps these claims prove she was adept at hiding her true self, and the rage within her? Perhaps it proves she was a master manipulator?
It just seems odd to watch a case unfold where a mother murders all three of her children, and clearly planned to do so, followed by a million dollars in donations to the husband. Even though those funds supposedly cannot be used for her legal fees, the couple is still married, and she would be entitled to half the assets.
There is a fine line between compassion and leniency to include financial gain. It is not a good sign to see society demonstrate such an outpouring of support to bury three children, as a result of homicide, without consequences, combined with a significant financial gain.
The very sympathetic lawyer claimed she was suffering severe postpartum depression, and tried to join her children in death. If that were the case, she would be dead. She knew how to make sure the children had zero chance of survival, and she did not make a lethal attempt on her own life. Would she have jumped from a fifteenth story window? A second story window onto the grass below, is not likely to be fatal. Some things are quite obvious. In addition, during all the fund raising, and initial outpouring of sympathy, there were claims she was paralyzed. Those claims have already turned out to be false. Apparently she is now moving her legs, and is clearly not paralyzed.
Diane Downs drove to a remote location, and shot her three children. She then shot herself in the arm, and drove very slowly to the hospital. When she got there she claimed a bushy haired man had shot them. The children’s injuries were fatal, or critically life threatening, while hers was quite minor.
Darlie Routier viciously stabbed her two young boys to death, and then cut herself. She was out of the hospital, and doing a macabre birthday party, singing, laughing, chewing gum, and casting silly string on the gravesites, just a week later. Clearly her injuries were not the least bit life threatening. Some people claim her injuries could have been fatal, just like Lindsay Clancy’s injuries could have been fatal. But they were not fatal, and what they could have been does not count. It is pure conjecture to say what they could have been.
When we say to ourselves, something is wrong with this picture, there is perhaps no greater contradictions of motherly love than what we see in the Lindsay Clancy case, especially when combined with public perception. Another shocking element is when it was reported her first question after being taken to the hospital was “do I need an attorney?”
Wouldn’t you think she would be overwhelmed with grief and remorse, and unconsolable, if she did what she did in a moment of psychotic madness? Besides that, no one strangles three people in a moment. How did she know for certain all the children were dead? Wouldn’t you think that might have been her first question? After all, the youngest one was transferred to hospital, and did not die until three days later. If what the news reports have said is true, concern for those children did not even cross her mind. Her first concern was for herself, which speaks volumes.
There was no outpouring of public support for other notorious child murderers, even though there might have been sympathy for a mental illness that would lead to such atrocities. The motives of Diane Downs, and Susan Smith became apparent with the investigation, as both were having affairs, and wanting their freedom. The motives of Andrea Yates appeared to be religious delusions.
The outpouring of support for Lindsay Clancy, in my opinion, it is far too early in the investigation to draw definitive conclusions, and overlook other possible motives. The couple’s financial records may come to light, as well as whether or not there had been any extramarital affairs, or a rocky relationship with her spouse. Many child homicides are based on revenge toward the other parent.
As far as what kind of expert psychiatric testimony might be brought forward in the Lindsay Clancy case, the article by some of the experts in the field, serves to highlight how little is known about postpartum depression and filicide. The entire goal of understanding something as disturbing as child homicide, is or should be, to find ways to prevent it.
In my opinion, in cases of mental instability or failure to cope, the mother should be relieved of caregiving duties for a period of time. If she is still functional, she should go swimming three or four times a week, or get other forms of fresh air and exercise, as well as a nutrient rich diet. She should also have hobbies, and outside interests that help validate her as a human being, as opposed to being delegated to housework, cooking, and caregiving as the primary basis of her self identity. For some women, being stuck at home with children feels like a trap, unless there are other outlets to help balance the demands of caregiving.
The other thing about “getting help” as so many people seem to focus on, revolves around seeing doctors and psychiatrists, which means being prescribed potent and often addictive medications that further mess with the brain, and hormonal system.
Benzodiazepines, first in the genre of Valium aka “mother’s little helpers” a phrase coined by the Rolling Stones in the sixties, created a plethora of addicted and zombie like mothers. They then had the complex, and additional task of dealing with a raging addiction. Now the same class of drugs is re-labelled as Xanax, Clonazepam, and Ativan, among others. But the effects are the same.
In order to avoid such tragedies, perhaps we need to rethink what help for mental illness really means. It could very well be out of our range to understand what is in the heart and mind of another individual. But rather than view help as being a wholly psychiatric issue, perhaps it should be more grassroots.
Real help might mean family members taking over child care, cleaning, laundry, making meals, offering financial supports, and helping husbands to be more aware of what needs to be done around the house. It might mean finding ways to increase positive social interactions with other adults.
One of the sad realities is that the world is full of flawed and character disordered individuals. In fact, there is no such thing as a perfect mother, even though some are more saintly than others. At present, we do not have the answers. However we all should find ways to take care of our own mental health, and maintain self-control regardless of the circumstances we are in. After all if a person cannot control themselves, who can?
The Lindsay Clancy case was by definition a mass murder, which involves the killing of two or more victims within a short time frame. The leniency or support for the killer should not be automatic, and we should not lose sight of the innocent victims. In addition, the attention, outpouring of support, money, and sympathy, might create copycat crimes, or a justification for other desperate mothers to do the same.
Societal laws and attitudes should protect children above all else. Let’s hope we don’t lose sight of that, regardless of the outcome of this particular case. Below is the link providing some insight into the psychiatry, and defence that might be mounted to reduce the consequences of the crimes.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Without a doubt, we are all guilty of lying to some extent. We learn to lie early in life to get ourselves out of trouble, to pretend we are something we are not, and to blame what we did, on someone else. Some people learn early in life, how damaging lies can be, and their conscience keeps them in check as they mature.
Other people make lying a practice, or a habit that forms a baseline for getting what they want out of life. A highly skilled liar is very difficult to detect. Lies repeated over and over, are most likely to be believed. More so, lies that are mixed with elements of truth help to advance the lies even more, because if people recognize truth in a narrative, they are more likely to believe the entire story.
Lies go right back to the Garden of Eden. In the six things God hates the most, lies top the list. In fact Satan is dubbed “the father of lies”. Lies are at the heart and mind of our very existence, and they are also a huge part of the spiritual battles surrounding us.
When detectives are investigating crimes, and they get a chance to interrogate a suspect, the number one goal is to get their original story recorded, so they have a baseline to detect discrepancies or lies, in the retelling of the story.
They know most guilty people will lie, and then get mixed up, as they are forced to tell more lies, or change their original story, to fit the evidence presented to them. As soon as the police detect a lie, they hone in on it, and with words, with evidence, and even sometimes by introducing more lies, they set the stage for the person to trap themselves. They will patiently hammer out the truth, to bring out the minute details of what actually happened.
Although there are countless famous cases of people trapping themselves in lies and contradictions, some that come to mind are Jodi Arias, Darlie Routier, and Scott Peterson. In the case of Jodi Arias, she lied and changed her story so often, she drove the prosectors and the defence crazy. Even her own lawyer begged to get off the case, because she was so wily, so slippery, and so shameless in her lies.
One of the most astounding glimpses of the power of self delusion was exhibited by Jodi Arias after her trial. Even though the death sentence was on the table, and she narrowly missed it, she continued to fabricate. There were hours and hours of graphic testimony regarding the extent and nature of the injuries she inflicted on her victim, as well as proof of premeditation. She shot him, and stabbed him repeatedly, going so far as to nearly decapitate him.
The trial also brought forward an extensive amount of evidence to prove her victim had no history of violence toward her or anyone else. Previous girlfriends, family members, and friends he partied with, or played sports with, all testified he had no history of violence, or assaults whatsoever. He had no police records of ever having assaulted anyone. She had never told anyone he assaulted her at any time during their relationship. Yet she made up yet another batch of lies to try and blame the victim, as well as tarnish his reputation when he had no chance of defending himself. No wonder Jodi’s own father was so distraught over the type of person she had become, or more aptly, the type of person she was, and always had been.
In spite of it all, after the trial was over, she stood up and described all the good she could do in prison, trivial things like starting a recycling program. Then she pulled a T-shirt out of her never ending bag of tricks, and showed off the T-shirt she was going to sell as a fundraiser for victims of domestic violence. It had “SURVIVOR” emblazoned on the front of it. She coyly claimed she was a survivor, and she understood domestic violence very well, because she had to do what she did to save herself. It was all self defence, and about being a survivor of horrific abuse. Nothing could have been more inappropriate, given the evidence at the trial. Such is the depth and breadth of self deception and delusion, as well as a flat out refusal to accept responsibility for her crime. She is a person who seems convinced that her lies must be believed, simply because she believes them herself.
Darlie Routier was a mother who stabbed her young children to death in the middle of the night, and then slashed and bruised herself, claiming an intruder had entered the house, and attacked them. She changed her story multiple times, but the essence of it was that she was asleep on the couch, and woke to a mysterious man attacking her, who then vanished. But she did not remember the attack she said, and claimed she must have gone “un-conscience”. Wow. Was it a freudian slip, or did she actually mispronounce the word unconscious? She lied to the point of being nonsensical, and crazy.
For example, there was a cut screen in the room, along with some broken glass in another location in the rooms. Although it is a convoluted story, and changed frequently, the evidence showed the screen had been cut from a kitchen knife inside the home. There was no sign of forced entry, or even that anyone had been near the window on the outside. How would an intruder get inside the house, get the knife, and then cut the screen, without any sign of forced entry? The cut screen was staged to be the forced entry, yet the knife used was inside the house.
The knife used in the murders, was a different kitchen knife, and it was also inside the house. Although she adamantly claimed she woke up to a man attacking her on the couch, there was no blood on the couch. When questioned in detail, she claimed she could not remember, she woke up, but did not remember, she must have gone unconscious, yet she ran around all over the place, and chased the intruder.
Her blood was not on the couch, but rather in the kitchen near the sink, which pointed to self-inflicted wounds, after she attacked her sons. During the 911 call, she wailed and carried on with huge drama, instead of trying to help her children, even though one of them was still clearly alive. She told the 911 operator that when she chased the intruder, she picked up the knife. Then she had the presence of mind, to voice concerns over her DNA and fingerprints being on the knife. All of this while her son was gurgling and struggling to breathe. The police repeatedly told her to stop it, and help her children, yet she ignored the request, and wailed out her convoluted story over the phone.
In various interviews, similar to Jodi Arias, and so many others, she just dug herself in deeper. She would revert to a posture of wide eyed innocence, and talked like a child, often referring to herself in third person. She would describe herself as a normal person, a normal mother, and then ask “what normal mother turns into a psychotic killer, when she is a normal person?” With both these women, you could tell they had learned various tactics early in life, to feign innocence, and lie their way out of trouble.
Scott Peterson was another humdinger when it came to being a pathological liar. He courted a woman, pretending to be single, while his pregnant wife was at home decorating the house for Christmas, and thinking she had the perfect life.
Scott told his mistress incredible lies, feigning that he was a high ranking executive, and travelled all over the world. He even pretended to call her from these various locations, telling her what the Eiffel tower looked like lit up at night, when in reality, he was hiding in the den of his own house just a few miles away. His mistress did not know he was married. She was set up with him on a blind date, and the entire relationship lasted only six weeks. She went to the police when she learned he had a wife, and she was pregnant and missing. The poor woman was naive, and was initially taken in by his lavish lies.
During interviews, Scott Peterson also showed a propensity to act childlike, wide eyed, and innocent. He used his good looks, with full confidence in his ability to charm, and feign innocence, especially with females. During one interview when being grilled by a woman journalist, he would gaze at her intently, then when the questions got too tough, he would simply close his eyes. Very bizarre. In all cases, when under scrutiny, these individuals showed some very flawed character traits. Their lives were poisoned by lies, and tragically, the poison of all those lies adversely affected many other innocent people.
Personally I think when some of these lying characters stare intently at the person they are trying to deceive, they stare without blinking, and hold the gaze, because they are trying to assess how effectively they are at lying to the person. They want to observe the other person’s reaction, and eye contact very closely, to be able to see if their pitch is going down as expected. When Scott Peterson would close his eyes, it was almost as though he was shutting out the fact his story was not going down well. Kind of like pulling the blinds.
In the case of Jodi Arias, her father reported that since she was a very young child, she would never tell the truth, and would never take responsibility for what she had done. The gun she used to murder her ex, was a gun she stole from her grandparents home, and then staged a burglary. Ultimately her father took his own life, because he was so disturbed by the conduct, and constant lies of his wayward daughter. It must be devastating for a parent to have a child who exhibits such traits.
One of the reasons lies are such poison, is because they are designed to change, or rob a person’s identity. For those who believe in God and trust Christ as our saviour, our identity is in Christ.
The devil wants to steal our identity, and craft it toward himself, and take us to hell, where he is headed. He achieves his goal by lying, and turning people into liars, or into his pseudo offspring, thus destroying who they are. He also seeks to destroy our credibility, and ensnare us into believing his lies. Or he attacks our identity directly, by repeatedly lying about who we are. He confuses and convolutes things too, as those are the tools of deception.
Christ made the claim in John 14:6 ” I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” We are also told in many other places in the Bible, that the truth will set us free. Otherwise we will lose our way, lose our eternal life, and become trapped in lies. We will lose our identity in Christ, and that is precisely what the devil is after.
Freedom is found in truth, and we must learn to love the truth, and turn away from deception. It is not easy to do. We often face conflict and rejection, when we make a commitment to truth.
Sometimes, we allow deception to continue because we are trying to be nice. It doesn’t mean we should be brutally honest by telling someone they are fat, or ugly. Being mean is not at the heart of being truthful. In some cases it is better not to voice an opinion, especially if it is none of our business.
Rather, it is important to learn how to assert ourselves, instead of trying to be nice, when another person is violating boundaries, and forcing falsehoods into our own life. It is a lesson I wish I would have learned long ago.
One of the manipulations used by liars, is to force a lie or a falsehood, and then act like you are being very mean for not accepting it. They are wonderful, and you must be chopped liver, or insane, if you don’t buy into their plot.
It is one thing for a person to lie about their own life. There is not much we can do about that, except avoid them. But if they are staring me down, and pushing a lie about my life, or my relationship with them, I have every right to confront, and deny those lies. Because the continuation and repetition of lies, poisons the entire well. The more entrenched, the longer they go on, the worse it gets. Soon, those lies are not much different than what the notorious killers do. The lies become a trap, a snare, an excuse for more lies. And the goal behind every pack of lies, is destruction.
God hates lies because lies destroy our soul, our freedom, and our God-given identity. They get a foot in the door, and if you smile sweetly, they will push in with more lies, and never give up. As much as believers choose to become children of God, liars choose to become children of the devil. There is no middle ground. All lies will be revealed one day, and those who are constantly crafting lies will face the consequences at some point.
By nature, we are inclined to lie. For many of us it is the little white lies, or the omissions, or self-deception, or exaggerations, and attempts to be self important. I can look back on my own life, and recall many, many examples of allowing lies to persist because I did not have the courage to stand against them.
In other cases, I wanted to appear to be more competent or successful, or intelligent, or comical, or whatever. I wanted to impress people with knowledge, or perhaps by embellishing a story, like the fishermen tales, or the size of the bears I came across on a wilderness hike. Yet, at the end of the day, was anyone impressed? Not likely.
Truth helps strip away our pride, and helps us to be humble. It has been said there are two types of people in this world – those who have already been humbled, and those who are yet to be humbled. It does make sense. In countless ways, we are all fools. Without truth and a dose of humility, we will lose our way in a country second.
If we fail to embrace truth, one of the most sobering things about it, are the verses in the Bible warning us that God will send strong delusion, to those who refuse to love and seek the truth. In addition to the delusion, their hearts will become hardened, and eventually God will turn them over to a reprobate mind.
Of all things, I want to avoid such a fate. The thought of not even being able to discern what is true and what is false, is a frightening thought. It would be like living in a fictional story, passing back and forth from reality to delusion, and not even knowing the difference.
Lies mess with out minds. They mess with our reality. They can change who we are. They can poison large masses of people. We only need to look at what dictators, and cult leaders have done throughout history, to resonate the expanse and horror brought about by lies. How many cult leaders thought they were being spoken to by God? Or in many cases, they claimed to actually be God.
David Koresh in the Waco stand off, was a leader who thought he was God. He stockpiled massive amounts of ammunition and guns, and persisted in his delusions even when surrounded by law enforcement. It was a gruelling stand-off that went on for fifty-one days, and ended in the deaths of twenty seven innocent children, and several FBI agents.
One of the most notable things about all cults, and cultish personalities, is that once they have established a false narrative, they will not let it go. They repeat it over and over, and over again. They also take on a very dogmatic and authoritarian stance, and will punish those who refute their lies. The most persistent liars, are also the most deviant. They use a false, self appointed authority and superiority over other people.
They seem to think their own delusions can be forced onto others, based on their own perception of superiority, simply because they are deluded. I was the unfortunate target of a lying cultish teacher. In hindsight, I can clearly see the cycle of delusion he created, in order to benefit himself. He certainly did not benefit me. He was the absolute worst “thing” ever inflicted on me, my life, and my family.
In my case, the pathological liar and high school teacher became obsessed with me as a student in school. He then told literally thousands of lies about his relationship to me, combined with a constant threat of punishment for refuting those lies. In all likelihood, he is still lying about his relationship with me. It went on for years and years. Never ending.
He was another one who would stare without blinking. He stared because he was always trying to assess whether or not his lies were being swallowed. I remember thinking so many times I was forced to listen to him for hours on end, that I could puke right in his face.
I was not swallowing his lies. He was forcing them down my throat with a bullying false authority, and equally false cultish religious doctrine. He used his false religious beliefs like a badge of supreme authority, to add to his teacher authority, while working as a brand new teacher in a small town public school. Talk about gall.
It never ceases to amaze me how many brazen lies he told, and how he would stare me down every chance he got, daring me to defy his absolute authority over my life. I felt like a bug under a microscope when he was staring at me. The look in his eyes was deadened and flat. There was certainly no love, or even respect for the free will of another human being.
What is even more astounding, is that this man was twenty-eight years old at the time, and wholly obsessed with a sixteen year old student. I distinctly recall the first time he stood staring at me right after he came to the school. I was fourteen years old at the time. I had no relationship with him, prior to when he started teaching at the school. I was a student in a small school where he happened to be a delusional teacher who for some reason, was full of self righteous false authority.
Part of the reason he targeted me was because I had accelerated through school, and had scored high on IQ tests. That seemed to fascinate him, and make him even more determined to thought reform, and take over my mind and identity. He was bound and determined to outsmart me, when what he actually did, was overpower me, because I had no defence against him. He repeatedly insisted that he was doing “what was best for Valerie.”
What a total croc of lies. I know I have to forgive him, and let it go. But he would never let me go, so the forgiveness is difficult. It’s not easy to separate the damage of all those lies from the person who did the lying. He also did a phenomenal amount of manipulation, so others would believe his lies.
In cases where mothers kill their children, like Andrea Yates, Darlie Routier, and Lindsay Clancy, they claim they sent them to heaven so they would not have to grow up in an evil world. Brian Laundrie also claimed he killed Gabby Petito because she had begged him to kill her, so he mercifully obliged. These are self-centred delusional acts, and the heavenly or mercy claims are lies, and self-deception of the lowest degree.
In a similar vein, MAID is another large scale delusion with a twist of compassion thrown in. In all the years I worked as an RN, people who were dying were given as much morphine as they needed to keep them comfortable. Pain medication is not withheld from people with end stage cancers, or other terminal illnesses.
The notion that killing people is doing what is “best for them” is a delusion somewhat similar to the parents who kill their children, or others who claim they killed for reasons of mercy. It is not up to us to kill people, for any reason. Those who want to end the life or lives of other people, are doing so for selfish and often hidden reasons, and are delusional if they think they can justify killing people.
Anyone who thinks they know what is best for other people, to the point of using coercion and force, is not acting in the best interests of others. They are acting in their own best interests. To do so, they lie. It’s as simple as that, yet it becomes very convoluted, because all deception is a labyrinth of lies, half truths, overt lies, covert lies, and above all – self deception. Becoming delusional is a process. Delusional simply means the person believes what is false. They believe the lies.
In hindsight, the insanity of it all is painfully obvious. Lies are about self exaltation, self interests, and self protection. But when self becomes the monument, self becomes the destroyer of self, and takes many innocent lives in the process.
We cannot be perfect, but we do have the capacity to tell the truth. If we turn away from the inclination to lie, it will benefit all relationships, families, communities, businesses, politics, media, and general information sharing. In fact the more truthful and honest we become, the more appalling and obvious the lies become. Truthfulness sharpens our discernment.
For those who are atheist, or lean toward secular humanism, it is still pretty obvious that being truthful is much healthier than losing credibility, or destroying relationships by lying. When people are lied to, they feel betrayed, and hurt, because it is hard to understand why you are so insignificant to someone you love and care about. Lies cause rifts, and a loss of trust. A loss of trust erodes our relationships, and robs us of love.
Christians have a wide range of beliefs when it comes to what will happen on the final judgement day. Of course none of us really knows, and we are not the ones to determine who is in the Lamb’s book of life. From what I have read and understood about it, the judgement happens after the thousand year reign of Christ on this earth. Once He returns, there will be a thousand year time of peace and prosperity, without the Satanic deception. When Christ returns, Satan is bound and thrown into prison for a thousand years.
The judgement occurs after the thousand year time frame. Those who have died without knowing Christ will be resurrected from the dead to face judgment “according to their deeds”. Many preachers proclaim there are no second chances, and all people who did not accept Christ, will be thrown into a lake of fire. Some of them also insist the burning in the lake of fire is eternal and will go on forever.
What some fail to realize is that preaching a false gospel, is lying, and they themselves could end up in the lake of fire. Hebrews 9:27 ” As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement.”
It does not specifically say how each and every individual is going to be judged. Why? Because in many other verses we are told that only Christ knows the minds and hearts of people, and only He can determine who lives and who dies for all eternity. Just as we do not know the time and date of His return, we do not know the ultimate fate of all people who die.
In my own mind, there are many questions about the ultimate fate of non-believers. If all non-believers are to be thrown into a lake of fire, what would be the point of resurrecting them for a final judgement day? I think many preachers have added their own version of hellfire and damnation, when we really do not know.
Clearly, it is of utmost importance to accept Christ, repent, and have faith in the gospel before we die. But we are not the ones who have the keys to the abyss, or the knowledge to judge others. We know what God abhors based on what is written in the Bible, and we also know we all fall short, and cannot save ourselves. But beyond that, we do not know the fate of everyone else.
God is love. Love is a choice, or it would not be love. We need love, therefore we need truth in order to maintain trust, which is essential for love to exist.
It is only through God’s grace that we can even recognize our own deception, and be humbled by it, enough to repent and make changes in our lives.
A year ago, we watched the news and live feeds, as a large trucker’s freedom convoy travelled across the country, and confronted the covid mandates. The entire demonstration revolved around freedom. It was probably the largest, or at least one of the most notable demonstrations in Canadian history. For all those who participated with sincere, and peaceful motives, it was a commendable demonstration.
Knowing it is actually truth that sets us free, is quite a relief. We do not have to rely on politicians, or demonstrations, to find truth in our lives. We do not have to do anything, other than embrace and love the truth.
When it comes to truth – God has our backs. We don’t even need a truck, to get us to the place of truth. We don’t need to spin our wheels, or lose hope.
Freedom is much greater than we are. Our minds are limited. Freedom is unlimited, and eternal. Let us not allow lies, to cause us to lose our way. I will always be thankful for God’s grace, in lighting the path, to help me escape the darkness of so many lies.
Deception is without a doubt, our greatest enemy. It comes in many forms, types, shapes, and shadows. It will never take responsibility, and will bury its victims in a pit of delusion and despair. Liars will not win. It is impossible. Christ is truth, and has already claimed the victory over lies. Therefore, we would be wise – to avoid the lies.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This horrific case holds many similarities to the Andrea Yates murders of her five young children in 2001. Both of these murderous mothers were nurses, both were married, and living with their families in modest, normal looking homes at the time of their horrific crimes.
Both of them killed by obliterating the airways, or ability to breathe, in one case through drowning, and in the other case through ligature strangulation, or asphyxiation. Most nurses know the ABC priorities for survival, with A standing for airway, which makes these cases that much more disturbing. They went for the surest, and most expedient way to cause death, by systematically taking away the airways of their victims.
All nurses, and first responders, are first and foremost taught how to assess, manage and above all – protect the airways of patients. These women who were also nurses, intentionally set out to do just the opposite, to their very own children, not as a matter of neglect, but with the intent to obstruct the airways, with a premeditated plan in order to kill them.
Few things could be more incomprehensible in scope, intent, and absolute, definitive life ending cruelty. They took the God given breath of life, right out of the epitome of trust, and innocence, as is known to all human beings. Once the deed is done, there is no turning back. They knew it too. There can be no denying the fact they knew it was an irreversible act, regardless of their mental state at the time.
Andrea Yates had worked as an RN at MD Anderson, a cancer research centre in Houston Texas, and Lindsay Clancy was a labour and delivery nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. Both killed all of their children, and both were in their thirties when they committed the crimes.
Both of these women, were mothers with husbands who claimed to love and support them. Neither one of them were abused or battered by their spouses. They were not unstable, immature teenage single mothers addicted to meth or opiates. They did not appear to have unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. They were professionals living superficially ordinary lives, which many people might have envied.
In both cases, a defence of postpartum depression, and psychosis, is what laid the groundwork for the defence. In the case of Andrea Yates, her condition was more overtly psychotic, in that she was steeped in religious delusions, and believed she, and the children were being affected by demons. As a contributing factor, she and her husband were following the cultish beliefs of street preacher Michael Woroniecki, who was known for certain outrageous, attention seeking tactics.
The preacher in the Andrea Yates case was arrested on multiple occasions in the US, due to the extremism, and sometimes outlandish methods of outreach he was known for. At one point, he travelled to Morocco where his street preaching incited a riot, and once again he was arrested, and then promptly deported. It turned out the Yates couple at one point, bought a converted bus from this preacher, which they lived in prior to moving into a house in Houston, Texas. Andrea was left in a confined space to care for the children, as well as to home school them, without proper cooking and washing facilities.
Because it is still early in the Lindsay Clancy case, less is known about their family history, religious beliefs, and family dynamics. What has been reported, is that the husband was working from a home office in the basement. There was also a go fund me page set up after the murders with a goal of reaching $750,000.00, and following that it was increased to a million.
It does seem a bit sketchy to raise such hefty funds, because the burial of three children would not cost much, and apparently the go fund me money cannot go toward a legal defence. No doubt the details of the family finances will surface as the investigation progresses.
The husband also made social media pleas to forgive his wife, shortly after the murders. This could simply be a response to the tragedy on his part, but forgiveness is a process, and for something so horrific, would most likely take a very long time. In the case of Andrea Yates, the husband supported her in the initial aftermath, but soon filed for divorce. He remarried, had another child, and then the second wife filed for divorce.
Apparently Lindsay was on maternity leave at the time of the murders. Between October and January, it was reported she had been prescribed thirteen different psychiatric medications. At the time of the murders in late January, she was supposedly taking three to four medications, specifically benzodiazepines and SSRI’s, as well as sleeping pills or an antipsychotic medication. In several of the reports, it refers to the amount she was taking at the time of the murders, as “only three or four prescription medications” trying to downplay it. A prescription for benzos or even just one potent antipsychotic drug is excessive for a young mother with small children, so it is crazy to claim three or four psychoactive prescription drugs is of little consequence.
The fact she was prescribed thirteen different drugs, means she was drug seeking, and not willing to wait, or try other wellness oriented type treatments. The only other situation in which so many drugs would be prescribed over such a short period of time, is if the person is in the hospital, and cannot be controlled – like completely and totally off the deep end, screaming incoherently, not sleeping or eating, or settling down at all. Otherwise, even if a person is very psychotic, the doctor will prescribe a drug, and then monitor the effects for a period of at least two or three weeks before making changes.
Obtaining prescriptions for thirteen different medications, means she was repeatedly going to the doctor. Was she drug seeking? Or could she have been setting up an insanity defence? As a nurse, she would know there are limits to what one can take, how many, and the fact that most medications take time to work, or create a blood level. So the excessive doctor’s visits and drug seeking also raises red flags.
It has also been reported she was making numerous Facebook posts about all the medications, and attempts to seek treatments. Was she trying to set up a scenario for long term disability so she did not have to return to work? It seems odd to post such personal mental health details on Facebook, but then again, we live in a tell all world these days. Even so, it could come back to haunt her, as it might be interpreted as setting the stage, or as attempts to manipulate impressions or outcomes.
In the case of Andrea Yates, she was prescribed Haldol, a potent antipsychotic, which is also very sedating. For many reasons it has since been discontinued, and pulled from the shelves. Andrea Yates was outwardly sicker than Lindsay Clancy, in that she had frequent delusions, suicide attempts, and psychotic episodes. However both of them were coherent and somewhat logical. I have seen and listened to mentally ill patients who can hardly string sentences together, and if they can, they make no sense at all. They will constantly talk about, or refer to things no one else can see, and often the hallucinations are vivid, detailed, and grandiose.
Neither one of these women were openly psychotic. When Andrea Yates killed all five of her children, she did have the presence of mind to lock up the family dog, as well as to call the police after the fact, and calmly tell them to come to the residence. She also called her husband, and told him to come home. She knew what she had done, and like Lindsay Clancy, she did it during a brief timeframe of being alone with the children. Therefore, in both cases, they knew what they were doing was wrong, and there was a clear plan to hide the crimes while they carried them out. They were calculating, with clarity of thought processes, advanced planning, and premeditation in what they did. They were not incoherent, or babbling about being chased by crimson coloured flying demons.
In the case of Lindsay Clancy, she was behaving normal, and was able to drive, run errands, take her children to appointments etc. which is quite amazing, given the sedating effects of benzodiazepines. In my opinion, both of these cases prove that doctors, specifically psychiatrists, are ordering potent drugs without giving consideration to the care of small children, or the safety of driving.
Just as a person with epilepsy who has seizures, will lose a driver’s license for a period of time, so too should those who are prescribed antipsychotics, and sedative drugs, especially given the fact they are also mentally unstable, and presumedly unpredictable. Even a prescription for many of the SSRI’s can lead to erratic behaviours and suicidal ideation, therefore they should not be prescribed with such brazen indifference to the reactions, or drug interactions that might occur. In addition to the driving considerations, the children’s services should be notified, as one would reasonably presume – if a person is psychotic or suicidal, they cannot possibly look after young children.
The other thing to consider in all cases, is there is a family dynamic involved, which is a contributing factor, and is often overlooked or downplayed. In the case of Andrea Yates, her husband appeared to be insane as well, and was chatty, and very inappropriate following the murders. Although he was a professional engineer working for NASA, he had the family living in a converted school bus for part of the time. He was also a religious extremist, and thought it was just fine to keep having babies, in spite of his wife’s deteriorating mental health, and inability to cope.
Perhaps one of the truisms we can take away from such tragedies, is rather than view children as extensions of, or as possessions of their parents, they are in fact God’s children first and foremost, and His creation, and are known to God before they are even conceived.
The Bible does say God gives us breath, which is the spirit of life. He breathes life into us at birth, which makes taking breath away, an incredible violation of God’s gift of life. All of creation comes from, and belongs to God. Without God there would not be any life at all. So to treat children as an extension of self is narcissism, and is not in the best interest of the child.
It is also true that many people who develop psychosis or delusions will become immersed in religious interpretations, often based on cultish religious leaders, or misinterpretations of what they read in the Bible. They tend to focus on demons, hell, punishment and drum up a rescue of sorts, or at least will make claims to be saving the children from hell, or demonic possession, etc.
The Bible and the promises contained within the gospel, never advises people to be violent, or to kill or harm another person, much less a child. All instructions given in the Bible revolve around love, forgiveness, perseverance, hope, salvation, and repentance. Anyone who enters into a cycle of torment and punishment based on religious beliefs, is delusional and psychotic. In many cases cultish type delusions are the most dangerous of all, because a person can genuinely believe they are hearing voices or instructions from God, when they are actually experiencing auditory hallucinations.
All deviations from the truth of the gospel such as with cult religions, narcissistic religious leaders, control freaks who use the Bible as a deceptive form of authority, and those who lose touch with reality, and enter a supernatural world, are probably the most dangerous forms of mental illness. Throughout history there have been many cult leaders who coerced large groups of people into committing mass murders, and mass suicides, to include sacrificing innocent children. The Bible describes the fruits of the spirit as being: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faith, gentleness and self-control. Therefore any beliefs involving religious deviations from the truths in the Bible, are based on false, and deceptive religions and cults.
None of the beliefs, no matter how far fetched, or how psychotic and delusional they are, should absolve any person of the responsibility of committing violent crimes against innocent people. It is not the psychosis that commits the crime. It is people who carry out the criminal acts, and if they carry out crimes of violence and murder, they must be held accountable, with a priority to protect others from any further harm. Pity for psychosis lacks an appropriate, and just empathy for the victims. It is misplaced, and provides an excuse for violent crimes without accountability. The vast majority of people who are mentally ill and suffer from delusions and psychosis, do not commit violent crimes.
In my opinion, we cannot give ourselves over to evil, commit horrific crimes, and then blame it on psychosis. Self control cannot be the responsibility of someone other than self. Every adult learns about self control as they mature, and if no one developed self control, the world would be in a perpetual state of anarchy, chaos, disorder and violence. Innocent people need to be protected from unbridled out of control violence, regardless of the underlying reasons for the violence.
I believe people with serious mental health disorders should receive treatment, but if they commit violent crimes, they must also be held accountable for those crimes, and face the same length of incarceration as a non-psychotic person would face. Otherwise there is not much incentive to maintain self control, and to overcome the negatives in our lives.
One of the glaring contradictions in all of this, is that when a father murders his young children, it is seen as an act of rage, domestic violence, and revenge. He is almost always viewed as a monster. Very little sympathy is extended toward fathers who kill. But in the case of horrific child murders involving mothers attacking, and annihilating their young children, there is much more compassion, and an outpouring of sympathy.
I am much more skeptical of all people who intentionally harm young children. Although I realize both parents can face extenuating circumstances, and debilitating mental illnesses, we should never lose sight of the victims, and how truly helpless children are, if an adult caregiver decides to harm them.
In both the Andrea Yates and the Lindsay Clancy cases, in spite of all the talk of having suicidal ideation, neither one of them took their own life. Both were kinder to themselves, and gave their own lives a fighting chance, compared to what they gave to their children. Yates did nothing to herself at all, even though she thought she was demon possessed too. She sat down and waited for the police to arrive instead of taking things a step further and ending her own life.
After murdering all three children, Lindsay went upstairs and made a half hearted attempt to cut herself, without damaging any major arteries, even though she had a working knowledge of anatomy and physiology. She could have put a rope around her neck and hung herself, cutting off her airway as she had just done to her children. But she did not cut off her own air supply.
Instead she jumped from a second story window. Most people would know, they are likely to survive such a fall, even if they do get injured. In spite of the fact there are reports she is paralyzed, it may not be permanent, and she could be pretending to have no feeling in her legs. I know it sounds harsh to say she might be faking paralysis, but it is quite possible, in order to gain sympathy.
It is not always possible to determine if there is irreversible damage to the spinal cord, especially with lower back injuries. Many people with lower back injuries have been told they will never walk again, only to get up and walk out of the hospital just days or weeks later. She also asked almost immediately if she needed an attorney, which is a clear indication, she is invested in her own well being, and already intends to try and reduce any consequences she might be facing. Does she have remorse? It is almost unfathomable to be lacking remorse in such a situation, but who knows? Time will tell I suppose.
I think the end results with both of these nurses actions, speaks to homicidal rage, as opposed to being suicidal. But it does bring to focus the fact that suicidal ideation, and homicidal actions, can be closely related. If a person loses value for his or her own life, the people around them are at risk as well.
Perhaps the most shocking commonality between these two women, was the inclination to keep having more children, in spite of the fact they seemed to realize they were mentally ill. In spite of the fact they were both educated as nurses, and knew how to prevent conception. In spite of the fact they already had a healthy family, and could have stopped at having one or two children, if they found the demands of raising young children to be overwhelming.
Both of them continued to have more children, and continued to express the desire to have even more. Lindsay was making comments about getting pregnant again, even when she was still on maternity leave, and in the midst of her downward spiral into murdering all of her children.
And surprisingly, the husbands in both cases also seemed to think this was all okay, even though their wives were showing signs of faltering mental health, and a complete failure to cope. It seems there was a lack of realistic expectations, and self awareness. Clearly, logic was not in the equation for some reason. Perhaps it is due to an over romanticized vision of extending oneself by having more children, or pride in the concept of fertility. That’s just a guess, because it is hard to conceive of any other reasons.
I think in all cases of murder, there is a motive, and also a degree of insanity, whether it is due to drugs, personality disorders, evil inclinations, unbridled rage, or a predisposition to mental illness. When a parent murders a child, I believe there is often a complex family dynamic involving resentment and revenge.
Years ago, I recall reading about a case where a father, and mother were separated, and in a heated custody battle. When the father had the children one weekend, he called his ex-wife, and forced her to listen to him shoot the children, as she screamed for them to run. Also, many embittered custody battles have contributed to spousal murders, and murder for hire, involving both men and women as perpetrators of such crimes.
In fact, many cases of spousal and child murders are related to family breakdown and custody battles, therefore the revenge motive is likely a root cause in child murders. If there is to be a better understanding, and a way to prevent such tragedies, there are certain things to consider. The courts are often viewed as unfair toward the fathers. Men with more money and influence, can often wield power over the woman. These things lay the groundwork for bitter battles, where both might lose sight of the best interest of the children.
Parental separation, dysfunction, and conflict creates a battleground with innocent victims. In the case of Lindsay Clancy and Andrea Yates, the medication they were prescribed did not protect the children, did not cure their illnesses, and quite possibly contributed to the tragedies.
All cases of severe postpartum depression where potent medications are prescribed should have proper follow up, and arrangements made for the care of the children. There should also be an in-depth family assessment, because it does appear to be worsened by a complex relationship dynamic, unreasonable expectations, and simmering resentments.
The extended family should never be shut out of a family, as they are the most likely ones to offer loving, and practical interventions that might help the family through a crisis. If there is abuse or shunning toward one member of the family, there is a risk for others in the family to be abused or mistreated as well. If those with the most power, abuse power over the weaker members of the family, it creates an unhealthy dynamic that can be manifested for several generations. Deception, greed, and abuse of power are the silent killers of the family.
The issue of postpartum depression is one most women can relate to, at least to some extent. There are many hormonal changes, a lack of sleep, and often overwhelming responsibilities that young women must face. It is exacerbated if there is a lack of family support, single parenting, drug and alcohol abuse, inadequate resources, financial stressors, excessive workload, and a lack of positive social interactions.
We all do crazy things throughout our lifetimes, but some things are over the top. Another example of extremism, although it may seem less notorious, is the case of the famous British woman mountaineer Alison Hargreaves. She embarked on a dangerous and rigorous climb of the north face of Mt. Eiger when she was six months pregnant. Some people would consider that to be quite a feat. Others would consider it to be insane and reckless endangerment, even though it is considered to be an accomplishment. Ultimately the effects on her children turned out to be devastating, with long term consequences.
Following the climb while pregnant, when her children were still very young, she did a successful solo hike of Mt. Everest without a sherpa, and without supplemental oxygen. However in 1995, while hiking with a group on the formidable K2 mountain, she succumbed to the elements in a storm, when her children were just four and six years old.
The tragedy did not stop there. Her son Tom Ballard, who she was pregnant with on the Mt. Eiger climb, grew up to follow in his mother’s footsteps as a fearless climber. He was just six years old when his mother died, and he too died climbing, just twenty four years later.
Although these family tragedies seem far removed from each other, they do illustrate how selfish ambition, and a variety of unknown stressors, can lead up to extreme losses. In the case of the British climber and mother, Alison Hargreaves, the family was faced with many financial pressures, and a foreclosure on their home. Her role as a professional climber, made her the sole breadwinner, and ended up being a contributing factor in the risks she took.
When faced with criticism, many people chimed in with opinions about men going on high risk climbs, without as much derision toward them for leaving young children behind. They gave accolades and encouragement to women climbers, in a quest to be more equal in the mountaineering challenges.
In all cases, the choices adults make, whether male or female, and the family dynamics created by those choices, can have an insurmountable effect on the children.
Under the surface of all the foggy and errant vision, causing people to lose the path, they are often due to selfish or ill-conceived pursuits, or anger, or the attempt to prove something. Then out of the blue, there is a storm, a loss of control, or a moment of madness, leading to a most regrettable outcome.
In some cases, there is no turning back. In the case of Lindsay Clancy and Andrea Yates, they set up scenarios they can never go back on, or find relief from. They can never recover. They cannot bring those lives back. They cannot change what they did.
They did plan it, and embark on an irreversible plot, for reasons we may never know. In the case of Lindsay, she may look back on her youth, her suburban life with three beautiful children, a career, and a husband, and wonder why on earth she did what she did.
Whatever her regrets, and whether or not she is destined to a life in a wheelchair, or a life sentence in jail, what could ever make her take such a course? It does not appear she met the criteria for being legally insane. Yet, whatever her motives were, there is no more solid ground under her feet, no more snowmen to build, and no more normal life to lead. If normal was hard to cope with, what is in store for her now? Life as she knew it is gone forever, buried under an avalanche of rage, that came tumbling down off an icy ridge.
Our pursuits and decisions in life are so often tied to things without merit, that could give way to catastrophic outcomes. At the end of each day, or better yet, at the beginning of each day, we would be wise to give thanks, to count our blessings, and to carefully consider the path we are on. Because certain wrong turns, can never be remedied.
Some falls go into a cavernous abyss, with no bottom, and no end in sight – leaving nothing but a gaping question mark as to why, and what could have been done to prevent it?
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The first disclaimer is to acknowledge that our beliefs are personal, and there is a wide range of what people believe will help improve or treat depression, and various other mental health disorders. Therefore this is not medical advice, but rather it is spiritual advice, which is at the core of our minds and existence.
Some people believe drugs are required in order to treat depression. Others go for a combination of drugs and counselling. Some people are more inclined to seek advice or solace through self help books, meditation, yoga, and Eastern religions.
There is a new and rapidly growing trend to treat mental health disorders and depression with ketamine, and/or hallucinogenic mushrooms. These drugs create out of body experiences, and some people believe they lead to a greater self awareness, and insight combined with profound spiritual enlightenment. Although these experiments might help people, the long term effects and risks can be significant.
Recently I learned that ketamine long term use has many side effects. In addition to causing psychotic breaks, and other central nervous effects, there are also cardiac risks, and more commonly, bladder and renal function impairment.
Many psychotropic medications also cause irreversible movement disorders or EPS symptoms. These side effects have a wide range of movement disorders, and can affect almost any part of the body. In some cases they cause spastic movements of the spine, especially the neck muscles. In other cases, they cause Parkinson like symptoms, or facial movements similar to rolling a marble around in the mouth. In other cases, there are tremors of one hand, or a jerking movement in the legs or eyes. Some people develop drooling, and in other cases, a person can develop macabre facial expressions, from grimacing to grinning, that they cannot control.
I worked in mental health for a several years, and was around people who had been taking a variety of psychotropic medications for many years. In almost all cases, the people also had some kind of movement disorder associated with the drugs, even though they were prescribed drugs to counter the EPS effects.
For these reasons, I believe there should be extreme caution with regards to all psychiatric medications. There are certain cases where a person does need medications, or they go completely out of control. But for those who are able to self care, have insight, and develop a care plan for themselves, it is far better to rely on lifestyle changes, diet, exercise and above all, faith.
When a person is told “get help” or “you need help” it is often said in a pejorative and condescending way. It would be much better to ask a person what is wrong, and what they think needs to be done. In family dynamics, often the problems are relational, and not the fault of just one family member.
In cases of debilitating drug and alcohol dependency, it is a matter of having non-accusatory open discussions to find out how the problem is perceived by the addict, as well as those closest to him or her. Many people feel shame, and are easily gaslighted into taking all the blame for dysfunctional relationships.
We do fail each other, and the sad truth is that we are most likely to harm or fail those we love the most, and are closest to. I think one of the central lessons in life is to overcome intergenerational destructive family patterns. We all play a role in the family dynamics. At the heart of it all is forgiveness and love, which is something we cannot achieve without God’s help. In addition, we need to learn patience and endurance. Those are traits that do not come naturally to most of us. I know I have been a dismal failure in countless ways.
In whatever way we happen to view our complex family dynamics, there is a greater purpose involved. We all carry the burdens as well as the strengths passed down through the generations. We cannot change who our family is, and where we came from. Family breakdown will be brought before the judgement of Christ. We cannot cast one another into the lake of fire, nor can we get rid of a family member for whatever reason. Time will reveal all truths. A hardened heart is probably the worst thing we can do to ourself. Empathy and compassion nurtures, while cultivating cruelty will turn us into tares, and our lives become superficial and hollow, as described in the parable of the wheat and the tares.
In the absence of severe addictions, the inability to self care, or the need for closely monitored detox to get past a crisis, how can any person evaluate and improve their own mental health?
If a person is told to get help, the big question is – who is going to help them? Most psychiatrists will prescribe potent psychoactive drugs, as opposed to trying to get to the cause of the torment. In fact, it is probably safest to avoid psychiatrists and their deadly potions. Most of them are about as caring as a hungry reptile in the jungle, prone to exploit the jumble of human emotions, seeing vulnerabilities as opportunities. They have their own ideologies, which may be so far in left field it would shock the average person.
Psychologists and counsellors are more likely to explore the feelings, and delve a little deeper into the lifestyle, thought processes, or behavioural problems. However, these counsellors are not always helpful either. Some of them do more harm than good. A high percentage of them have more complex mental health issues than the people they are trying to treat. They are also very expensive, and not all people can afford to sit around and talk about their problems at a cost of $150.00 an hour.
Peer counselling, or a good friend, might provide just as beneficial, or even better talk therapy than high priced professionals do. There is a range of professional ethics involved among all professionals, from the sincere, and well educated application of knowledge, to the bullying borderline cult-like personalities within the professional realm. It is hit or miss, to find a good one. Most of them are doing a job to make money. For this reason, we are more likely to get help from a loved one or good friend. In all cases, human beings cannot fill the role, and guidance of Christ in our lives. Therefore, even if we are forsaken by people, we are not doomed.
In my own personal opinion, and life experiences, the only way to develop optimism for the future, is through faith. Not faith in an abstract higher power, but faith in God, and the gospel of Christ. It is the only way to find truth, comfort, and an assurance that there will be justice, forgiveness, redemption, and something to look forward to. It gives us hope.
We cannot change the world, and all the evil, deception, rejection, government, media, or the conduct of other people. We can voice an opinion, seek truth, and develop various strategies to protect out minds. But we are not able to control what happens. No one can. Many people fear death. We all know we will die, and yet without faith, it is a dismal prospect.
Without faith, and the assurance that God will fulfill his promises, and bring justice to this world, it would be very easy to become hopelessly depressed. This has been intensified a hundredfold or more since we have been immersed in the covid era of deception and losses, combined with uncertainty for the future. We are steeped in an endless cycle of propaganda, coercion and deception.
Above all, we are spiritual beings, and we would be wise to avoid the many pitfalls surrounding apostate churches, media hype, hard drugs, quick fixes, and esoteric type religious practices.
Our mind, will and emotions, or soul – needs a place of guidance, nourishment and rest. We can only find such encouragement in the Bible, because everything else rings hollow after awhile.
No matter how much we learn from the Bible, we still only absorb a fraction of the true meaning. It provides a never ending source of revelation, truth, prophecies, and spiritual growth. For this reason, I believe it is our only stable instruction manual, to assure us and give us a solid foundation of hope for a better future.
Words matter. We are affected by words every single day. The word of God is far superior to what any person can offer us. We all need a rock, and a solid foundation to cling to in times of trouble. Faith, and God’s grace is the ultimate, and eternal solution. This truth is well worth it, and can be found abundantly in the words of the Bible. There is no cost for profound wisdom, because Jesus has paid the price, and He alone is capable of healing us.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The relapse rate for addiction is apparently around 85% post treatment, which is a very high number. Does it mean the treatment programs are inherently faulty? Or does it mean the patterns, and neurochemistry that develops as a result of addiction, are so complex and ingrained, it creates a powerlessness over the addiction?
Google searches will identify a set of risk factors. The withdrawal period is a very high risk period of time because there are both physiological and a psychological components that must be managed with caution, care, and dignity for the patient. Some states of withdrawal are life threatening.
We have to assume if there has been a treatment program, the treatment will get the person past the initial stages of withdrawal. The first phase is to detoxify, and in some cases it is a critical period requiring close monitoring, fluid replacement, and gradual reduction, and titration of the offending substance.
In my opinion, individual care plans need to be a part of every recovery program, at every stage of recovery. Detox is an acute care phase, if there is severe dependency on any physiologically addictive drug. Oftentimes there are many drugs within a person’s system, to include street drugs or alcohol, combined with prescription, and/or over the counter drugs.
Other reasons for relapse are underlying mental health conditions, childhood trauma, the addicted person’s associates, and/or partying lifestyle, various triggers, and a false sense of assurance such as “I am okay, have a job, and am not on the streets etc”. The idea the addiction can be managed through harm reduction programs might work for some people, but for many, the addictive substance creates a void that cannot be filled, and there is no way of setting limits on it. Once they go back to it, they cannot control it. They are trying to find a way to fill an internal void with the worst possible solution. They end up feeding a monster in a bottomless pit with a voracious appetite.
Abstinence is the only real way to get free of it. This requires a plan, and a dedicated commitment on the part of the addict. No one can leave it up to the system to cure them. In many cases the system is what got them there in the first place. Not to absolve personal responsibility for the choices one makes, but in order to take responsibility, it must become a personal choice. The system might help the process, but it is not really designed to save people. Therefore the system itself must be navigated to avoid the built in pitfalls, and hindrances to recovery.
Other reasons cited are a lack of support systems, such as family support and counselling. In many cases, there is a sense of hopelessness regarding the future. If a person cannot get a decent job, or develop enough confidence in themselves, it is much more difficult. On the other hand, no one can do it for you. It is a personal and spiritual battle of the heart, mind, will, spirit, emotions and physical body. All these elements of recovery must be overcome by the individual.
On the other hand, if there is over confidence and pride, it can lead to a relapse because after a period of sobriety, the person believes they have overcome it, and do not have to abstain or avoid the substance any longer. There is also a strong inclination to substitute one addiction for another, thus giving way to self-deception. A person my quit heroin for instance, but develop a strong dependency on methadone. They may quit alcohol, and develop a dependency on benzodiazepines, believing they are okay since they were prescribed by a doctor. But the substitutions do not cure the problem. They are more like band aids, and do not lead to a true recovery.
Regardless of how and why a relapse happens, it is likely to take the person into the same patterns, or often into an even deeper addiction than ever. Some people believe relapses are part of a process, and to be expected. However, relapses are really quite dangerous. If a person has a relapse, they should not beat themselves up over it, but get back on track as quickly as possible. They should also carefully reflect on what caused the relapse, so they know how to avoid the triggers or pathways that lead to relapse, especially the dominating emotions prior to a relapse.
One of the main dangers of relapses is the fact the person’s tolerance has changed. Therefore they might think they can take the same amount of a drug as they did prior to the period of abstinence, and overdose. Or they might start using again, and manage to control it for awhile, and then rapidly spiral out of control.
The causes or reasons for relapse are widely varied and complex. Many people are simultaneously caught up in addictive type romantic relationships that create emotional upheaval, dependency, and a loss of self control. They might mistake this roller coaster type relationship as love or support, when it is part of the damaging cycle they are in. Some people believe they can rescue others, when they are not intrinsically stable themselves. Relationships can be toxic, with extreme emotional dependency, thus contributing to the cycle of addiction.
I believe the locus of control must come from within. Therefore those who make a decision to quit, without court orders or ultimatums, have a better chance of recovery. Healthy boundaries in relationships must also be learned or established.
In addition, there is a strong spiritual aspect to addiction. This requires a realization that we cannot escape or overcome these patterns on our own. It may seem to be a contradiction to say the locus of control must be an internal driving force, while simultaneously admitting we cannot overcome addiction without accepting God, and the salvation offered through Christ. But the two definitely go hand in hand.
Forgiveness is key to overcoming any kind of bondage. So often people deny or reject the term sin, and yet all addicts have a great deal of shame. The key is to differentiate what the sin is, and seek forgiveness from Christ through sincere repentance. All people need to be forgiven, so it is not only the addict who sins. But to figure out how to get off the destructive pathway, we have to recognize what is destructive. The ability to forgive oneself follows true repentance. It establishes an ability to develop self control, and contributes to a greater understanding of the cause of the deep rooted shame.
People do not like to refer to the addictive lifestyle as sin, because we live in a society that does not want to recognize or identify what sin is. Therefore it makes it much more difficult to repent, and turn away from the things that create an entrapment, and bondage into certain patterns and lifestyles.
There does have to be a substitution of patterns toward more positive daily activities. The addict has to carefully choose what they can do, and what they must avoid. There has to be a way to establish purpose, motivation, and feeling better. In fact, I think feeling better is a very strong motivator for people, and should always be kept at the forefront for all those who are recovering. No more roller coasters, because after awhile the downs are too deep, and the efforts to get the high, just does not pan out any longer. It turns into a cycle of despair. Normal might be boring, but at least it is not agony.
To be free of the bondage, as well as to feel better, are the key objectives. However it is important to be fully aware, once the abstinence is achieved, that it may take some time before a person feels better. The entire neurochemistry has to be reconditioned. This includes restoring natural levels of dopamine, serotonin, melatonin and gut bacteria, to name just a few. Even normal sleep patterns may take months to settle into.
It seems the expectations in many recovery programs might not be realistic, therefore it is easy for people to become discouraged, which creates a big risk for relapse. I think a person has to realize recovery is a long term change, with incremental stages of wellness. Some of the ads we see, show a glowing radiant person standing on the top of a mountain, with claims of being three months clean and sober.
There should be a realistic awareness that there will always be ups and downs. Ecstatic happiness is not going to be the normal state of sobriety, no matter what we do. In fact, peace and purpose in carrying out normal daily activities is a better indicator of achieving wellness in every day life. There is joy in little things. Euphoria is short lived, which means the rest of the time, is where we spend most of our time.
Overall, each person has to develop a plan, along with strategies to improve mood, and neurochemistry, while acknowledging that it will take time. It also depends on the length of time a person was steeped in the addiction, and the depth of the addiction, as well as what range of substances affected the bodily systems. Each recovery needs an individual self care plan.
One key element is the fact that for all people, some days are better than others. To avoid depression, certain things like diet, fresh air, and exercise do wonders. But everyone of us goes through difficult times, and all you can do is alleviate the stress through the various strategies for self care, and wait it out. Prayer is very helpful for those who believe in God. Our entire society has become dependent on quick fixes, and the notion that depression or sadness is a mental health disorder. It is not always a mental health disorder. In fact, there are often many reasons for feeling sad. We cannot expect to go through life without experiencing the full range of human emotions.
The challenge is to be able to recognize what is causing the sadness, and what changes, or actions to take in order to alleviate it. If a person is sad because a family member died, it is an understandable and justifiable sadness. Grief is one of the most difficult types of sadness to overcome. Addictive substances exacerbate grief, and create a vulnerability for those who go through it.
In some cases grief can be managed fairly well, if the loss does not completely upset the foundational stability of a person. But it is a very traumatic and tumultuous period for those who do experience the loss as having the rug pulled out from under them.
To help identify some of the vulnerabilities related to addiction and relapse, grief is high on the list. Also past and present trauma, to include psycho-social trauma, as well as physical trauma. Many people inherit an addiction by adopting familial patterns, or from early trauma. And others fall into addiction as a result of surgeries or traumatic injuries.
Addiction is primarily about escaping the pain of living. Paradoxically it creates an increase in the cycle of pain, and the temporary escape is like a swirling vortex, and worsens by the day. It invites many serious risk factors into a person’s life that can easily end their life. The risks for the addict are increasing by the day.
Recently I read about a young 19 year old man who was overall quite healthy, worked in a stable job, and had good family support. Tragically he died of a fentanyl overdose by taking what he thought was a single Percocet pill. He grew up and lived with his family in a town close to the Mexican border. It was not uncommon for people to go to Mexico for the day with a few friends. While there, he went into a legitimate pharmacy, and bought a bottle of Percocet because it is like an over the counter medication there. You can understand why he would have thought this would have been a safe way to make the purchase, regardless of his reasons for buying the drug.
After spending the day in Mexico, he went home, picked up some take out food, and later on, when he went to bed that night, took one pill from the bottle. The next day when he did not show up for work, his parents were alerted, and went to check on him. They found him blue and unresponsive in his bed. He had died during the night.
It turned out the Percocet he had purchased was laced with fentanyl. His parents found the bottle, the receipt, and counted what was left in the bottle. They knew he had taken just one pill. He could not have known it was laced with fentanyl, and nor was he a drug ravaged addict. He might have had a sore back, or he might have had trouble sleeping, and thought this would insure a good night’s sleep. Who knows for sure? However, the fact a pharmacy open to the public, would have mislabelled Percocet on the shelves when it is actually laced with fentanyl, is a shocking realization for all those who travel to Mexico on vacation, or order pills online etc. The single bottle of Percocet he happened to purchase, had enough fentanyl to kill thirty or more people.
Many people remember the scare a few years ago when an over the counter pain medication was contaminated with cyanide. I think it was some kind of copy cat murder, or diversion for someone who wanted to get away with a targeted murder. But at least the tampered drugs were immediately pulled off the shelves, and it was considered to be murder. I don’t know if there is an investigation when this type of thing happens in Mexico, but it should be considered to be murder too. The offending pharmacy should be shut down.
It just made me wonder what scope and potential there is for such tainted products to be distributed through other mainstream channels. One would think a pharmacy in any country would not have products on the shelves that are incorrectly labelled, and can kill a person in a single dose. The loss of life due to overdoses is staggering, which means the world has an exponential amount of grief to cope with, as a result of drugs.
We are living in perilous times. I see young people on the street who exhibit the same kinds of brain damage you see in long term care facilities where people have had traumatic brain injuries, strokes, and organic brain syndromes. It is just tragic to see someone in their twenties who can hardly walk, or speak, or take care of themselves. So many of them have spastic and permanent movement disorders as well. If they spill the contents of their backpack, they cannot manage to pick the items up, and put them back into the pack. The loss of function is debilitating beyond words.
Recently the system has added another very worrisome drug. The pharmaceutical and health care industry is starting to promote ketamine as a treatment for depression. The long term results of such a treatment cannot possibly be good. Ketamine is an anesthetic drug used in hospitals, and more often in veterinary medicine. It is meant for occasional use only in a monitored and controlled environment.
As a street drug ketamine is unpredictable and addictive, leading to dissociative experiences, hallucinations, and is not meant for street use. There is no way of knowing the long term effects, as it has not been prescribed as a treatment for depression until recently. I was gobsmacked when I read it was being prescribed as a nasal spray for depression.
One university research article claimed ketamine could rebuild the cortex and neuronal pathways of the brain. What a croc of nonsense, no different than when they claimed opiates were not addictive. So many university studies are based on research funded by pharmaceutical companies. In the future, they are far more likely to discover the long term use of ketamine destroys the cortex of the brain, as opposed to rebuilding it. To claim it enhances neurochemistry or synapse communication is insane.
They used to think and claim SSRI’s increased serotonin, or at least many people thought so. Now they admit they simply increased the rate of circulation of serotonin in the brain and central nervous system, which eventually depleted it, and caused a flat affect, worse depression, movement disorders, and various other psychological deficits. SSRI’s often cause extrapyramidal side effects, and suicidal ideation. Ketamine, in my opinion, will be a hundred times worse in the long run.
They want to give other hallucinogenics to treat mental health disorders. When a person has hallucinations, it is considered to be a psychotic episode. Hallucinations are when a person hears voices or sees things that are not really there. If a person has hallucinations, the doctors and pharmaceutical industry are likely to promote anti-psychotics to treat the psychosis. So you can already see how easily a destructive cycle begins. Then the anti-psychotic drug causes a severe movement disorder. So they give an anticholinergic drug to offset the side effects of the anti-psychotic drug. You can see how one ends up getting a chemical soup for breakfast, lunch and supper.
It is not difficult to see how pharmaceutical and prescription drugs have become a leading cause of death. We should all be very cautious, and steer clear of psychotropic drugs period. They tend to treat side effects by giving more drugs.
In many ways, we are navigating a system of pharmaceutical landmines. Step on on one, and it might go poof into a little cloud of smoke. Yet if you step on another one, it might blow up in your face. It is like a game of Russian roulette, and it is no wonder the trust in the health care system is becoming increasingly sketchy. The profit motive supersedes our brains, our minds, our health, and our common sense. The more people they can get addicted, the bigger and more steady the profit becomes. The casualties are piling up in the morgues.
When it comes to medication, it is buyer beware. If medication is legitimately needed, we should all do in-depth research before taking it, and create a plan to get off the drug as soon as possible. All substance abuse starts with the use of the substance, with a false sense of security. The best thing we can do for ourselves, is to try and avoid the trap in the first place.
If we do fall into the drug trap, get out of it as fast as possible. We are wise to make a confirmed decision to avoid the pitfall like we would avoid quicksand, or landmines, or climbing down a dark mine shaft, or walking in front of a train. Some of the negative outcomes are insidious, and others are rapid.
Either way, addiction is a death trap. For those who are steeped in addiction, they are palliative, and need care like anyone else who is palliative. The war on drugs is actually a war on the individual for profit. The entire scope of it is so blurred, it has blinded us to the dangers. Relapse used to be something to shrug off as part of the journey. Now it is like losing the trail completely, and stumbling back into a pit of crocodiles.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This is something I still do not understand. Why do Christians focus so much on certain sins, while completely ignoring others? The most common “worst sins” many seem to be angry about, often leading to fire and brimstone ranting and raving, are based on sins of the flesh, such as sexual immorality.
Another hot topic is abortion, which is understandable in many ways. But in my opinion, we cannot prevent another person from doing what they do. We are called upon to repent of our own sins, and seek forgiveness from Christ. We cannot force other people to repent, nor can we prevent whatever sins plague their lives, from happening. Surely if we are the least bit honest, we have enough of our own sins to deal with.
We might seek to change laws, or set boundaries about what we allow into our own lives. But we cannot dictate the choices other people make. We can also create political stances, and be open about certain topics in public discourse. We can express the courage of our convictions through freedom of speech, by describing what we believe is wrong with certain laws, such as MAID, abortion, violent crime, repeat offenders, etc.
After all, our minds are the enemies minefield, and we should stand firm on what we do believe. But we also must respect boundaries, and refrain from condemnation, or attempts to block people from making choices in their own lives, within the parameters of the laws. We cannot control other people’s choices, or what is happening in this world.
If we look at the list of sins afflicting our society, including ourselves, here are just a few examples: a refusal to forgive those who trespass against us and persecute us, and if we don’t do so, it too is considered to be sin. We are told to love our neighbours, as well as to love our enemies. In some cases, this is a tough undertaking.
In addition to the long list of sins to repent of, they include all forms of sexual immorality, which in itself carries a wide range of admonishments. This list includes not only homosexuality, but also adultery, promiscuity, lust, sex outside of marriage, remarriage following divorce, having multiple partners, and even having lustful thoughts toward another person. Worse yet, some of these human behaviours sink into depravity, and include child pornography, sexual assault, rape, bondage, and sexualization of children.
When it comes to the range of sexual misconduct or sin, how many of us have not been guilty of a percentage of those sins? If we are honest, we will evaluate our own range of sins, repent of them, seek forgiveness from Christ, and then find ways to avoid further temptations.
How can any of us condemn the actions of another, if we do not see the magnitude of our own misdeeds? Yes, some things are far worse than others, but even so, we are not the judges of what other people do. If we are convicted of our own sins, repent and are forgiven, it is by the grace of God that we even recognize what we are guilty of. Remorse it actually a blessing. It means we are taking responsibility for what we have done.
It is for these reasons I personally do not believe in going to abortion protests, or various other protests that try to prevent people from doing what they are going to do anyway. I know the intent is to try to protect the unborn child, but we are not carrying that child, and cannot even get access to them. Nor do we know the circumstances, and beliefs causing a person to make the decision.
We can only make our own decisions, and apply those decisions to our own lives. As far as standing up for our own rights to make choices about our bodies, then for sure, peaceful protests are warranted, and it is commendable when people defend human rights.
I do strongly believe children should be protected from abuse and sexual exploitation, and these things are in fact against the law. Abuse of children can be reported to the authorities, and in some cases a grandparent or family member can intervene.
For other types of exposure to sexual immorality that is not against the law, but is arguably inappropriate, all we can do is set boundaries, and hope and pray the laws will serve to protect innocent children. Sometimes widespread peaceful protest is the only sign that the public is pushing back against draconian mandates. One of the big differences between the 1930’s and now, is social media. Many people are doing live recordings on the ground, so the truth is more difficult to stifle.
It might be better to stay away, and keep innocent children away from what is questionable, such as overt sexual displays, and gaudy performances in public places. I feel so sorry for children who are not protected. It takes a lifetime to get over childhood abuse and trauma. And unfortunately for some, certain things can never be overcome.
Eventually all of it will be exposed and dealt with. If we are in a position to do so, we are called upon to warn, and even sometimes to expose things that bring harm to others. It depends on our circumstances, as well as our own convictions regarding the ways we might do good, or help to overcome harmful practices or attitudes.
There are many variances in how Christians might help avert harm and do good. Prayer is a very important part of it all. I believe in writing about things, because it might help influence others to contemplate, and seek out the truth of what the Bible actually says. Regardless of what people believe, it is good to bring things into the light. The only reason many things are kept secret, is to hide wrongdoing.
If we have intergenerational abuse within our family, we owe it to future generations to try and resolve it. In fact, we owe it to the entire family, in the present as well. Dysfunction is a family affair. Many deep rooted problems go on for several generations within families. We do have an obligation to try and put a stop to it. These are strongholds that require a great deal of prayer, courage, stamina, and ongoing spiritual battles.
The other sins we are told to repent of, and abandon include: Revelation 21:8 KJV “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”
If that is not enough to give us pause and examine our own lives, I don’t know what is. The word abominable means to create moral revulsion. Sorcery is the practice of magic, to include psychics, ouija boards, tarot cards, palm reading, conjuring up spirits, using crystals and gemstones for protection, seances, trying to communicate with the dead, astrology, trying to command angels, and various other practices too numerous to mention. Some people view these things as being mild curiosities, or of little consequence. But once again, we as Christians do not dabble in such things, because we know there are many evil spirits.
Crystals, rhinestones and glass are used in jewelry to add sparkle. Swarovski and Austrian crystals were made as substitute faux gems. Coloured gemstones are rocks in nature that are part of God’s creation. Jewelry does not protect, or add any spiritual entity, and if used as such has the potential to become idolatry or worse yet, attract evil and negative forces from the spirit world. Anything we choose to adorn ourselves with is simply fashion, art, colours and choices we happen to like, and appreciate for the craftsmanship. To give them additional attributes is not a good idea. All things come from God.
The fearful part is a tough one for me. The only way we can reduce our fear, is to increase our faith, and stop fearing death. Otherwise I know full well, I would be condemned on that count alone. Fear includes anxiety, and the many other triggers that cause our hearts to tremble. It is one of the most difficult things to overcome, and only the love of God can truly cast out all fear.
Over the years, I have listened to many different sermons on YouTube. Some of them are encouraging and truthful, but it is increasingly difficult to find those who teach the true gospel, and adhere to the original language in the Bible.
Many of the congregations are so far off-base, they have become like circuses, or disco dance clubs, with loud music and wild gyrations. In addition, there is a growing number of outright false teachers, steeped in pagan rituals and teachings. So beware, and test all things. Many of them have mixed truth with falsehoods, so we need discernment now, more than ever before.
In my humble opinion, some of the worst ones are those who pick and choose certain sins, and loudly condemn people to the depths of hell, and eternal torture in the lake of fire. The Bible does not teach eternal torture in the lake of fire. It teaches there will be a second death for those who reject Christ.
It also tells us not to be vengeful, or to hope for, or take pleasure in the wrathful judgement toward those who do not overcome the temptations of this world. None of us would be spared if it was up to us. We cannot count on our own ability to overcome our vices. To think we can, is a fool’s errand. We simply cannot save ourselves. Those who think they can judge, condemn, or save everyone else, are deluded. The truth is not in them.
I would challenge any Christian or pastor to preach a sermon on the things God hates the most. How many times do we hear a sermon about pride in the church? Or deception? Or gossip? Or greed, and the love of money?
Yet if we are truly honest, and make the decision to examine our own hearts and minds, these are the very things God hates the most. After evaluating this list, let any of those among us, who are prone to pick up the first stone, give it a second thought.
If we think we have no sin, we would wisely and quietly abandon the hellfire rants, and look within, to see all the sin in our own lives. And lest we forget, we should also add the Ten Commandments to our list of admonishments we might apply to our own self-examination. We are most certainly apt to be humbled:
Notice the first on the list are a proud look, and a lying tongue. Of all the wicked in this world, these things are at the top of the list as far as what God hates the most. How often do we hear sermons about the rich man’s pride, and supreme arrogance? Do the false teachers and preachers point out the fact they themselves are liars?
Of course not, yet that is what comes to mind when I listen to some of them give their own warped spin on things, and add what is not even in the Bible. Or they might select certain verses, take them completely out of context, and adamantly give a nonsensical meaning. So often I think, whoa, thankfully most of us can read. Often I cannot even fathom how they came to such conclusions. How can there be so many different interpretations of the same verse?Teaching is one thing, but dictating doctrine based on deviations, and deception, is another thing altogether.
Pride and elitism places everyone else far beneath them. We are expected to believe them, and follow their orders because of their intrinsic superiority. No wonder God despises such attitudes. It makes others feel inferior, lowly, unworthy, like second class citizens. Many people will fawn over the proud elitist ones, just to align themselves with the image of success.
To the proud, the inferiors deserve to be inferior. That is just our lot in life. They are the greatest, because they are rich and powerful, yet in God’s eyes, they are obviously nowhere near as important as they seem to think. They will give orders to people they have no business ordering around. To the supreme wealthy, everyone is expected to work for them. No one dares to challenge them either.
Even more so, what gives a rich man the right to punish people? Especially a pious rich church-going man who is deemed to be a leader? We are supposed to esteem one another equal to, or higher than ourselves. We are also supposed to love one another. So how does a rich man justify in his own mind, treating others with contempt, and then actively seeking ways to punish those who disobey him? Is it any wonder the Bible says it is more difficult to get a rich man into the Kingdom of God, than it is to get a camel through the eye of a needle?
Truth in the Bible is very important. People who arrogantly mistreat others, acting as though they are vastly superior, are actually the worst sinners of all. What makes a person so superior as to treat another person like a subhuman? Or as though we are already dead, and do not even exist, let alone have any rights?
They act as though they are boss over us, when they are nothing of the sort. It is typical of cults to treat a defector as though they are dead. Shunning and rejection also demonstrates a rich persona of fascism. Either way, it is profoundly destructive to those around them.
What right does a rich and powerful man have to tell us who we must associate with? Who is he to abuse power to such an extent, no matter how rich or powerful he is? What gives anyone the right to give us orders to believe, and accept some random cultish person as a “wonderful Christian”, when everything about them demonstrates the complete opposite? Who are they to lie about and force an unwanted relationship, and deceptive con onto a person, a family, and the community, about the true nature of that relationship, and how it came to be?
No one has the right to force us into relationships we do not want to be in. Females are more likely to be objectified in this manner. Even God does not force us to be in a relationship with Him. We all have a basic and fundamental right to say no to invasive, intrusive, deceptive, and destructive relationships. Only cults and criminals use force, with a stubborn refusal to take no for an answer.
We have to protect ourselves and our families from such diabolical infiltrations. It is why it is so important not to allow cults into our lives in the first place. There is a bullying, relentless, and unrepentant dominance that is very difficult to get rid of. Once they get a foot in the door, look out – they have no boundaries. They most certainly do not have any scruples. Lying is their MO. They count on forcing you to be obedient, and nice, as well as to follow orders from the headquarters of pride, dominance and false authority.
I most certainly wish I would have asserted myself in this regard a long time ago. It is the epitome of arrogance to force another person into a relationship of any sort. It is one thing to accept and tolerate family members, but no one should have to accept an abusive and destructive cult relationship, and endless exploitation, just because they have been ordered to do so by someone with money and power.
Our identity is in Christ. He is our Lord, and we serve Him, not an arrogant businessman or cult master. True believers are adopted into the family of God, and He is our true Father. No one, no matter how wealthy or important he is, has the right to give us away, like we are some kind of an object. Or worse yet, give us up for adoption to some nasty, deceptive cult. NO!
Every single human being ever born into this world, belongs to a certain lineage, or tribe, or seed, and is documented in the Bible. The believers are already in the Lamb’s book of life, because God knows who we are, even before we are born. We are each a part of our own specific generation and genealogy, in the overall scheme of things. No one can alter or change who we are.
We struggle against our own sin, the sin of others, and above all, the principalities and powers of darkness in this world. But we do have a promise to enable us to overcome the darkness. And thus we are called upon to repent, and believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. He is the way, the truth, and the light. Only He can untangle us from the sin of this world.
There is no other way. Our relationship with Christ is not by force. It is by choice, because love is a choice. We all have free will, and if we do manage to figure things out, it is only by the grace of God. So we will give thanks for all eternity.
Without a doubt – it is far better to be humble, than it is to be proud.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Some of the trends on YouTube revolve around the standard televangelist type monetizing, which is as old as TV itself. Some of us can recall the Jimmy Swaggart and Tammy Faye scandals back in the eighties with the Assemblies of God church.
Most memorable for me is the massive amount of eye makeup Tammy Faye wore, along with the crying and numerous public apologies. After the scandals and affairs became public, I do recall a T-shirt promotion. It had a big black smudge on the front of the shirt, with the caption “I hugged Tammy Faye”.
So it is no surprise that YouTube has many church related fund raising sites, some of which may be quite legitimate. Regardless of the topics or the truth surrounding the many topics, people can easily donate to whatever subjects or organizations they choose.
Pop psychology is not much different than many of the church sites, as there is a fair bit of heart tugging manipulation based on emotions such as fear and sympathy. The church broadcasters and psychology gurus, are comparable in many ways.
There are many topics now that can be monetized on YouTube, from courses, to pop psychology, diet, and true crime. One of the more recent surges in monetization and opinions comes from the fascination with the Idaho student murders.
It is truly amazing to me how many have jumped on this particular bandwagon. In one case, a very detailed and organized YouTube publisher sells subscriptions for one dollar a month. Given that she has thousands of viewers and subscribers, she is probably doing reasonably well, as long as she can keep up with delivering interesting content, which must be a full time job.
In addition, there are retired police officers who set up a panel of three, and sometimes have special guests. In those cases, people will donate certain small sums ranging between $2.00 and $20.00 on average, in order to submit a comment, and basically get a high five, and a thank you from the team.
One thing to note is that many of the broadcasters just love their audience, as if we can be totally enamoured by those we do not even know. It does have some of the same patterns as the early televangelists. But at least the sums are small, and the content creators are not claiming to offer anything but opinions and experience. So fair enough. Admittedly, it is more honest than claiming they will do faith healing, or set the viewers up for a windfall of pennies from heaven, like the prosperity gospel preachers do.
Of course there is a great deal of speculation because the majority of the evidence in the case has not even been released. What is the point in going over every detail of a probable cause arrest document, when it is only the tip of the iceberg as far as evidence is concerned? But the fascination with the case fuels the input, and the money fuels the motivation for those who create the content.
In a sense it is similar to gloom and doom pop psychology. We seem to have a natural attraction to what makes lunatics tick. Why did he do it? Will he get away with it? Did he have an accomplice? Did he know the victims? Is he brilliant or is he a moron? Where is the knife? Did he throw it in the river or did he bury it? How long was he planning this? Did he stalk them on social media? What about the dog? Will the dog be the hero by shedding his hair so it is found somewhere in the perpetrators car or apartment?
Some of the commentators were saying how BK is nowhere near as sophisticated or brilliant as Ted Bundy or the BTK killer, Green River killer etc. But they are not taking into consideration the advancement of forensic science and technology. Anyone who claims a murderer is brilliant is giving them far too much credit. Bundy got caught and was executed, even though his crimes were committed before there was DNA profiling.
The inclination to give the murderers some kind of intellectual superiority is not truthful, and not the least bit helpful. In fact, many of them are so filled with narcissism and attention seeking, they revel in hearing the so-called experts describing them as being brilliant, geniuses, or fascinating, when in fact they are sick, sadistic and deranged.
The evidence in the case of the Idaho killer is already overwhelming, with a great deal more to come. The killer might have been studying for a PhD but all it goes to show, is that you do not have to be brilliant to be a University student either. Some people are brighter than others, and he clearly was not one of the bright ones.
The truth is – no one gets away with murder. Nothing is hidden from God. But even for those who do not believe in God, the forensic evidence or DNA through familial genealogy, can track them down at any time, even ten, twenty or forty years later.
The other aspect of it is their own conscience. I remember reading about a case where a man killed a woman he barely knew after a drunken altercation. They were in a remote location, and he left her for dead somewhere. Her death was never solved, and had become a cold case.
But his conscience bothered him even though he tried to stifle the memories of what happened. One day, he got a mistaken call to pick up a Costco prescription. The pharmacy retailer left him a message something to the effect, “your number is up”. He panicked and thought it was a message about the murder twenty years prior. As a result of a random mistaken call, and the wording of the message, he promptly went and turned himself into the police. What a good description of self driven justice, in spite of never being caught.
The rise in monetizing the macabre, could have indirect consequences, in the various nuggets of information, and ideas that surface as a result of it all.
In fact, if not for widespread public interest in true crime, the Gabby Petito case might not have been solved. At least one could surmise they may never have found her body, if not for a couple of adventure seekers who happened to drive down the same remote road where Brian Laundrie had parked, in order to bury her body. The couple who drove past not only saw the distinctive van parked there, but they filmed it, so it became a crucial part of the evidence that solved her disappearance.
In addition to the advancement and sophistication in forensic technology, there has been a huge increase in social media sleuths, doorbell cameras, dash cams, cell phone footage, screen shots, and armchair detectives. You would think the murderers would know they cannot get away with it, but it does not seem to stop them.
It seems that a whole new genre of monetizing true crime podcasts, and information sharing is on the rise. Unfortunately only certain cases really capture the public’s attention, and other cases quickly go by the wayside. But one thing it does highlight is the interconnectedness between the general public and the crimes that happen. When you watch the footage of the white car the killer drove, and follow all the places it went at all hours of the night, it must make those who live in the vicinity feel creeped out to know this person was driving around their neighbourhood like a wild beast circling its prey.
All of social media has merits as well as drawbacks. It is interesting to note in the latest developments, the killer is reported to have stalked his victims, and sent them messages on social media. This will also be taken in as evidence to help convict him. Ironically the very same things that set his sights on the victims, will bite back, in providing more incontrovertible evidence against him.
On the cautionary note however, is that social media can attract predators. It can also set young people up on an illusory quest for giving an outward appearance of living a romantic or perfect life. Like all content creation, it becomes difficult to keep up with, and difficult to live up to.
The world of technology has us hooked. I think the young people who use it freely for sharing and social engagement should be very cautious when it comes to disclosing their locations. There seems to be an assumption of safety. It is true, no one can jump through a computer screen or cell phone with a knife. But the social media disclosures, can put the person with the knife in proximity to the victims, as the Idaho case has shown.
Therefore in all cases, people should lock their doors at all times. They should also review video footage of security systems on a regular basis, and go through messages they receive to see if there are any common denominators. For those of us who are not in the University stage, or in the habit of using Instagram and Tik Tok, we don’t really grasp the law of attraction surrounding these methods of communication.
The potential for crime and victimization cannot be ignored. Not long ago a senior was ripped off for over $40,000 due to an email phishing scam. Many more have been duped by fake calls from Canada Revenue Agency.
One tip on email scams, is the return email will often have a whole string of random characters, instead of a legitimate email address. Many times they will show screenshots, with all the standard logos and colours, in order to dupe people into thinking they are legit. If anything suspicious comes in, and you wonder about it, it is better to go to the source separately, as opposed to following any links.
For email and phone scams, it is common for them to say you have a refund or a parcel to pick up. These are used as bait to get you to click on a site that can grab personal information. In the case of the senior who was defrauded of 40K a company he was familiar with told him they had accidentally deposited money into his account, and showed a fake bank statement. But rather than take the bait, it is better to ignore it, and then check your account.
Personally I do not respond to any notifications or warnings. Nor do I store passwords on any device. Also if you get a pop up when logging into a bank account telling you to change passwords or change security questions, don’t fall for it. Say no thanks and log out because it could be a pop up screen shot to steal your information.
When you decide to change a PW or security questions, log in to your account separately and go to the profile or account settings to make the changes. I have learned to be suspicious of any sudden pop-up screen shots during a log in, asking for a verification or a change in the information you have set up for that account. It is amazing what scammers can do online to gain access to personal information.
There are also advanced settings you can explore on your computer, to see if there is any suspicious activity, or security breaches. You have the options of setting controls, limits, set up scans, and encryption options as well. The other thing to do is clear the browsing cache on a regular basis.
For all forms of Internet presence, we should all be careful to set boundaries and protect ourselves. For those who broadcast publicly, on YouTube and various other platforms, never meet with someone you do not know, and above all always lock your doors.
Countless people make money online in one way or another. Most of us have some kind of online presence. Many use platforms like Twitter and FB to keep in touch or share opinions.
Social media has become a convenient, and often interesting part of life. However, it is a rapidly changing world from a technology perspective, and is becoming increasingly complex. We simply cannot afford to be naive.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Why is this important? Because these Latin words have steeped Christian belief systems into a swirling cauldron of false teaching. The Bible uses many words to explain things to us. Why should we focus on words and teachings not contained in the Bible?
Doesn’t it seem like it is dangerous to create unauthorized substitutions, instead of adhering to the actual words in the Bible? Why would anyone need to swap or switch the words around? Or add words? Or take words away? There is no proxy. These are concepts, and alterations in the original text that do not come from God. You can sugar coat it, or try to gallantly explain it away, but you cannot claim these words exist in the Bible.
In the previous post about the rapture, I wrote about the original languages of the Bible as being primarily in Hebrew and Greek. We are not supposed to add anything to, or take anything away from the Bible. Those who do will be punished when the final judgment day comes.
Almost all Christian theology revolves around beliefs in either pre-millennialism, post-millennialism or a-millennialism. When you consider these words are confusing to most people, and like the word rapture, they are not in the Bible, why focus on them? Why make them central to Christian eschatology?
We do know God is not the author of confusion, so we can assume this is meant to deter people from the truth, not help us to understand the truth. Instead these different versions of belief systems are offered up like cheese on a platter. Like it is perfectly okay to sample Biblical oddities, and pick one of them as your favourite. In reality, there is no selectivity on our part, regarding what we might choose to pluck, or to reject from God’s word. It is a fool’s errand leading to a precipice into the abyss. Truth is what it is, not what we decide we want it to be.
The truth of what this refers to is based on the Biblical description of Christ’s return to earth, also known as the second coming. The Bible tells us Christ will reign on this earth for a thousand years. I realize the Latin word millennium means a thousand, but since it is not used in the Bible, and has created a great deal of confusion, personally I think we should stick to the promise of a thousand year reign.
If we adhere to what it actually does say in the Bible, we do not get ensnared with all the terminology surrounding millennialism. If you look up a-millennialism it is described as a chillegoristic eschatological version of the Bible. What that actually means is that the thousand year reign of Christ is viewed as metaphor, or figurative language.
The Bible has a mixture of literal and metaphorical language to help us understand what was, what is, and what is to come. Even as small children we are able to differentiate between reality and metaphor. I remember the summer I turned three years old, and I worriedly told a neighbour about something my brother had said. She replied, “Oh, he is just pulling your leg”. Then later I heard our mother say, “Don’t let him pull the wool over your eyes”. In both cases, I understood what they meant. From then on, I was quite aware of the use of figurative language. It made sense, and it expanded my understanding in a simple way.
It does not mean all language is figurative or metaphorical. It just means we learn language to include some metaphor, or figurative language, in both speech and writing, as well as in what we read. It does not mean we apply it to all language, and most certainly not all language in the Bible. Some people adamantly believe the Bible is entirely literal, and others believe it is entirely metaphorical. Yet those same people do not view all language as being one or the other. In fact, we would have very limited comprehension of any language, if we did not learn to differentiate figures of speech.
However, that verse is describing what a thousand years is to God, not us. The Bible does not say a thousand years to man, is as one day. To use such a verse to obliterate the thousand year reign of Christ is an incredible twist of scripture.
The belief systems that revolve around the cancellation of the thousand year reign of Christ cannot possibly be the truth, and are in direct contradiction to what the Bible does say. Even the Lord’s prayer, which most Christians recite thousands of times throughout a lifetime says, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…”
Other arguments claiming the thousand year reign is metaphorical, will say the kingdom of God is within us, or the church is the kingdom of God, or the millennial reign of Christ has been going on since Christ was crucified and resurrected. They will say that the church will spread the gospel until it fills the whole earth, and this is what the millennial reign actually means.
To say the kingdom of God is within us, could be interpreted as the Holy Spirit being within us. However, the earth is not within us, is it? The Bible clearly and explicitly says Christ will reign on the earth for a thousand years.
As far as those who claim the church, or the Christians, as being the ones who are reigning over the earth, just look at what has been happening? We are in the midst of the great apostasy. The church has fallen away, just as the prophecies said would happen. Look at the amount of false teaching. It is enough to make anyone’s head spin.
The Bible tells us Satan currently has dominion over this world. It also tells us that Christ will deal with Satan when He returns, and will throw him into prison, and lock him up for a thousand years. Does anyone speak of the millennial imprisonment of Satan? Or have versions on pre and post millennialism when it comes to his fate? Doesn’t it sound absurd? Imagine asking people if they believe in a pre or post-millennial view of Satan’s fate? Or that his existence and influence on earth is purely metaphorical?
People can believe whatever they choose to believe. There is no limit to what people choose to believe, to include a wide range of esoteric beliefs, various different gods, and outright denial of the existence of God. But if we choose to accept Christ, and believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God, then we cannot fabricate or deny what it actually says.
The description of Satan’s fate in the Bible, is tied to the same thousand years as the reign of Christ. It is literally the same thousand year time frame, because when Christ returns, He will rule the world, not Satan. There would not be a period of peace, prosperity, and goodness on this earth, if Satan was not locked up. So it does make sense. In addition, there are many verses throughout the Bible to assure us how and when Satan will be locked up for a thousand years, then after the thousand years, he will be released for a short time, and then eliminated once and for all.
The thousand year reign of Christ is also tied to the first resurrection of the believers, and the final judgement day. False teachers on this topic cannot create a forked version of one verse, without skewing all of them on the same topic. A thousand years is not metaphor in one verse, and then allegorical in another, when it is bound up in the same prophetic events.
We would be wise to rid ourselves of the pre, post and a-millennial terminology and confusion. There is no point in using those terms at all. Anyone who reads the Bible knows it says Christ will return and reign on the earth for a thousand years. He has not returned yet, He is not here now – so no one can claim He is reigning on the earth now. It is not metaphorical. How can it be?
Another very significant alteration to the Bible surrounds the Darby Scofield insertion of a seven year tribulation prior to Christ’s return. The original Bible and church leaders never taught this. But to give an indication of the subtle sleight of hand regarding this lie, is how a single word was added to change the meaning of the text in Revelation 7:14. The original KJV version is:
“14 …And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.”
However since the introduction of the Darby lie about “the end times seven year great tribulation” just one word was added to this text, first in the Darby Scofield translations, then in multiple other translations, which significantly changes the meaning of this verse.
NIV 7:14 “And he said, These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.”
Adding just one word gives the impression the people in white robes are those at the end of the age. But the truth is in the original text, and it means all believers throughout history who experienced tribulation, not just those at the end of the dotted line. The deception also serves to reinforce a false notion of the so called seven year tribulation, which is not found in the Bible either. One of the most devious types of falsehood, is when it is mixed with truth. One word, or even the placement of punctuation, can significantly change the meaning and context.
If you look at it in the broader context, right from the beginning, where it is described how God created the earth in six days, to all of the various descriptions about the day of rest. It is telling us, there will be a time of rest and restoration on the earth. We see the cycles of work followed by rest in many things, after the sixth day, or six years, or six thousand years. It demonstrates the completion, and rest occurring on the seventh day, or seventh year, or seven thousand year time frame. This is how we are meant to compare God’s timing, the harvest, the completion, and His ability to span things from beginning to end.
According to Christian beliefs, the earth is now around six thousand years old. It means we could be very close to the time of Christ’s return, the harvest, and thousand year period of rest, peace and restoration. This could be what it means when it says, to God a thousand years can be as one day, and one day as a thousand years.
The thousand year reign of Christ, includes locking Satan up for a thousand years, so he can no longer deceive the nations, or create havoc on the earth. In addition to this very real description of what happens when Christ returns, the Bible says the dead in Christ shall rise first, followed by the Christians or believers who are still alive.
It goes on to say the rest (unbelievers) do not live again for a thousand years. The resurrection of the believers when Christ returns, completely refutes the false rapture theology. If there was to be a pre-tribulation rapture, or escape for Christians, we would not be told the dead in Christ will rise first, since they do not need to escape. We would also not be told the Christians who are alive when He returns, will be resurrected to meet Him in the air. According to the rapture doctrine, the Christians will be gone, but that is clearly not what the Bible says.
During the thousand year reign, the Bible says there will be peace, safety and security. People will not live in fear of any person, violence, trickery, governments, or wild beasts, etc. There are many verses to describe how people will beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks. The nations will not lift up sword against nation, nor will they learn war anymore. Do people interpret that as metaphor too?
If we do not differentiate between what is, and what is not metaphor, we cannot comprehend the Bible at all. It is the same as a three year old learning about the world around them, and how to interpret language. A child is not going to comprehend much if he/she does not learn to separate literal from metaphorical language.
We can understand a metaphor such as “some things will be as chaff in the wind”. It means some things are without substance, and will be gone. In many cases, we are told if something is a parable, or a metaphor because it is preceded by “it is like” or it is “as if”. In other cases we know what is described, is a reference to something allegorical, such as the beasts in the book of Revelation. It is metaphorical, because it is intended to represent something, as opposed to giving a tangible and exact description.
I will readily admit, there are certain allegorical descriptions that are difficult to understand, and there are references to spiritual beings that are not part of the natural world. Therefore we are faced with mysteries, and are prone to misunderstand or misinterpret things.
But the thousand year reign of Christ on this earth is very clear, along with all the events surrounding it, and the consistencies in how it applies to the entire time frame, and what we can anticipate.
Don’t count on man to fill in the gaps in understanding. Don’t count on false teachers, and false doctrine, as they will deceive us, and bring a fog of confusion to our minds. And above all, don’t count on terminology and teachings that have been added, or altered, to create different meanings. Stick to what the Bible actually says. Do not hinge your belief system on words that do not even exist in the Bible.
God did not give us His word, for people to invent and insert words, and arguments that are not even there. Look up what the original Bible actually says. I use the original 1611 KJV version. Certain other translations have maintained the original wording, but there are now over a hundred translations of the Bible in the English language alone. So be wary, and when in doubt, cross reference the text with the original.
You can listen to preachers talk about, and teach about the different versions of millennialism until the cows come home, yet you will never get the milk from those cows, if you don’t seek the truth.
There is just one version of the thousand year reign of Christ. There is no pre or post millennial rapture, or multiple returns, or a secret return of Christ. Christ will return at God’s appointed time, and every knee will bow, and every tongue confess that He is Lord. All people who have ever lived will know it – when He does return. Some will have great joy, and others will be full of fear. We do not have to debate or refute any portion of God’s plan. If we do not understand it, we look to His word, not baseless circuitous arguments to confuse us.
For those who sincerely believe in Christ, we believe he was here on this earth, and he died for our sins. We believe He was resurrected and is with God on His throne. We believe He will return to the earth as is promised in the gospel. How on earth did we get so off-track when it comes to His thousand year reign when He does return? It is central to our beliefs, and very important to clarify, understand and believe. Otherwise we will be deceived, and we have been given many warnings not to be deceived.
If we don’t seek and embrace the truth, we become deluded. The Bible tells us God sends strong delusion to those who abandon the truth. And after that, he turns people over to a reprobate mind, because they refuse to love the truth.
Satan seeks to confuse and deceive people, and is known as the father of lies. Of all the things God hates, lying is one of the most important errors of existence to be avoided more than anything else. Just because you want to believe something, does not make it true. Just because something might be a mainstream belief in your family, church, or teaching, so much that you dare not reject it, don’t be deceived. Search it out for yourself. Test it. Review it. Pray about it. Remember our minds are more under attack than anything else, and in order to find the truth, we have to be determined.
As Christians we are told to love one another, uphold one another, and encourage each other. There are many stumbling blocks, and snares along the way. When in doubt, test all things based on what the Bible says, and be sure to avoid all versions of the Bible that teaches false doctrine, adds to, or takes away from the original Bible.
Like many others, over the years, I have fallen into snares, and false teachings, and have stumbled more times, and in more ways than I can count. It is only by the grace of God I didn’t crash and burn long ago. One thing to be eternally thankful for is that one of God’s promises is of a sound mind 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV:
Over time, I have learned to lean on, and trust God’s word above all else. There is no substitute for one single word from God. Forget the unbiblical, ill-conceived words like rapture and millennialism. Hold fast to the actual words God used to explain these things to us. It makes all the difference in the world!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Almost every pastor and teacher nowadays will make reference to the rapture. Yet the term is not in the Bible at all. The fact so many people are “caught up” in this false rapture doctrine, is problematic when it comes to what the Bible actually says. Some people claim it is just terminology, and a translation of Bible interpretation that exists to make it easier to understand.
But it is not something any one of us should swallow without delving into what it actually means, and where it came from, especially when you consider there is no actual text to support it. In fact, it leads people to deception and what is false, when we must seek and embrace the truth, even though we might prefer to be beamed up when the going gets tough.
Don’t be fooled. The rapture doctrine is embodied into an entire conceptualization of dispensationalism, and deeply flawed false doctrine that was not introduced to any church prior to 1830. It was invented and written by the heretic John Nelson Darby, and was originally embraced by the Plymouth Brethren, and Exclusive Brethren churches before it became mainstream
Darby not only came up with the false rapture theology, but also many other anti-Biblical beliefs surrounding dispensations, and separating the state of Israel, and the Jewish people from Christian beliefs. Everything from the rebuilding of the temple, to a return to animal sacrifices is part of this false teaching.
What was originally described as levitation, based on cult like esoteric descriptions, were inserted into the Darby altered Bible and belief system, and have since become central teachings in many mainstream Christian churches. The rapture aspect of Darby’s teaching seems to be the one concept of all of the Darby false doctrine that people have latched onto, and many will not let go of it, even though it is nowhere in the Bible.
The rapture was introduced into the Darby bible based on a psychic description of levitation by a fifteen year old girl during a seance. One would hardly classify that as something we should adhere to as part of Christian eschatology. Nevertheless, that’s exactly what has happened since the introduction of the Darby and Scofield Bibles that were advanced and promoted from 1830 onward, with the Scofield reference Bible following these teachings into the early 1900’s and beyond.
Some will argue that it is a legitimate translation. How so? The word rapture is a Latin word, which translates simply to rapid. The original Latin word was rapio, and is also described as – to seize or to snatch up. The most obvious red flag, is that the Bible was not written in Latin in the first place.
The very first Bible and Biblical texts were written by Moses in his own language, which was Hebrew. During that time frame, the Hebrew language was spoken throughout Mesopotamia, which is in the area of Iraq as we know it today. The original Hebrew language, interestingly consisted of twenty-two consonants and no vowels. In later years they did add vowels.
During the entire thousand years of the Bible’s original composition, almost the entire Old Testament, was written in the Hebrew language. A small portion of the Old Testament was written in the Aramaic language, which became a common language throughout Mesopotamia and Israel. The Aramaic language was used only in Ezra, Daniel and a verse in Jeremiah.
The New Testament was written in Greek between 50-100 AD. The reason it was written in Greek, is because Greek had become the language of the scholars and early writers, and many had abandoned the original Hebrew lexicon by this time. Around 300 BC a translation of the Old Testament from Hebrew to Greek was undertaken and completed around 200 BC. The Greek version of the Old Testament is called the septuagint.
The original languages prove there was no Latin involved in the original writings or any part of the Bible. Perhaps that explains why the Latin term was never used in the Bible in any context. It is also not found among any of the writings of the early church followers.
The Bible contains many warnings not to change or alter it, and also not to be deceived. Many Christians want to believe in the rapture, because there is so much fear relating to the coming tribulation. Keep in mind, the concept of a seven year tribulation is also a Darby invention.
There are verses in the Bible that could be interpreted as a coming three and a half year tribulation during the last days. However, the Bible also clearly states the end times will be as in the days of Noah, where people are eating and drinking, and getting married. Wickedness and violence will increase, but not to the extent it will take away all normal every day activities. There is a time of God’s wrath coming, but it does sound like the grand finale surrounding His wrath, will happen very quickly when Christ does return.
It means there will be tribulation, it will increase, and in fact, the Bible tells all believers to expect to go through tribulation throughout our lifetimes. Most of us already know about tribulation, since we go through periods of tribulation, grief, and difficult times, at various times during our lives. It is not necessarily reserved for the final days. Some of us experience more pain and grief than others. We will probably not know the full reason for this until judgement day, or until the millennial reign of Christ.
Throughout all of history people have gone through tribulation, and Christians have faced persecution. The Apostles and believers in certain historical periods, went through horrific persecution and tribulation. We have to be prepared to accept it right up until death. If it is part of what we are meant to endure, then we must endure it with perseverance and faith.
We are supposed to have faith and courage, no matter what we are faced with. Some of our difficulties may be our own fault, requiring us to acknowledge our sin and repent. And some of the hard times we go through, may be part of God’s plan to increase our patience and faith.
Clearly we are not to adhere to false doctrine, or a Hollywood movie, and the notion of an escape into the clouds before the return of Christ. Why would only a small percentage of people throughout all of history get raptured to escape tribulation? If you study it and think about it, it makes no sense, regardless of what the false teachers say.
Doesn’t it make more sense to believe God is just, fair, and consistent toward all people, throughout all of history? What would make anyone think they are more special than the Apostles who experienced horrific tribulation? They too had fears at times, and in many cases, knew beforehand that they were going to be imprisoned or killed. They did not deny the truth of the gospel, or the belief in Christ or the cross, no natter what they faced. They still experienced human emotions, just like we do. More so, we know full well Christ did not escape the cross. We should never lose sight of what Christ endured, and what He did for us.
Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to believe what the Bible actually says, and if in doubt, to check back on certain words in the original languages it was written in?
In addition, the established Christian belief system is in the birth, crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. All of the Bible teaches us to follow Christ, to learn from His teachings, and to believe in Him with all our hearts and minds. One of the central promises contained within the gospel is that we too, will have eternal life, if we believe the gospel.
Therefore it is not a rapture that we should expect, but rather a resurrection, when Christ returns. There is no such thing as a secret rapture. Don’t be deceived.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Ironically, we are told through the media that the pandemic is not over, all systems are overwhelmed, nothing is sacred, truth is subjective, and violent crime is increasing. Yet our opinions about these topics are being classified as misinformation. We must believe everything we read in the media, or we are the proverbial bad children. Even if a percentage of it makes little sense, dare we question it at least?
The misinformation concept has a great deal of hyperbole attached to it, yet it is chronically ill-defined. What exactly is misinformation? It is a conundrum, and a cauldron, a witches brew, that we do not want to inadvertently fall into. Nevertheless, we are lured into the debate, and whipped into shape.
We might logically say, do your own research, and draw your own conclusions. In fact the misinformation warriors are telling people to learn critical thinking. The problem is, they want us to think the way they do. Somehow they have a corner on critical thinking, and those who disagree are dangerous and even “killing people” with misinformation. Yet isn’t this type of conformity the very opposite of critical thinking?
One of the rising trends in the mainstream media, on youtube, and various other social media platforms, is an increasing level of hyperbole, and click bait type gloom and doom. There is also a significant amount of overt denial toward any information that is contrary to certain narratives, even in the face of overwhelming evidence.
A moral compass has turned into a game of spin the bottle, truth or dare, squirrel and the nut, or a carnival type wheel with goofy prizes. Nothing shocks us anymore. We need shock absorbers and blinders. Play these games at your own peril, and most of all, hide what you really think, for fear of being ostracized. Good and bad got reversed somewhere along the line.
If there is no such thing as conspiracies, as just an example, why would there be so many romance scams? The losses surrounding these scams are growing exponentially, and are estimated to be well over a billion dollars. A high percentage of them are tied to very sophisticated international organized crime groups.
Yet people all over the world will sign up for online dating, and then fall in love with a phantom. One woman who had been married for seventeen years, had four or five children, and then got divorced, was taken in by what most would consider to be something straight out of a B grade movie. All it takes is flattery, and some people are hooked. Flattery and the belief there is no such thing as fraud in the fantasy world of instant love.
She claimed to have an incredible connection, and it was, only it was a connection she hadn’t bargained for. In no time flat her online Romeo had to go on a secret mission to Israel. For many, that would be a big red flag. But she was intrigued, so she stayed in constant contact with him. Then he miraculously inherited seven million pounds, the equivalent of eleven and a half million Canadian dollars. Such a claim is another huge red flag, as a prudent person might immediately see it as a lie, or worse yet, money laundering and organized crime.
But she went along with it, even though her suitor introduced her to other nefarious characters, and convinced her to go to Dubai where she was shown a suitcase full of money. However, for some strange reason, she had to keep paying to have it kept in a safety deposit box, as well as pay to have it converted to pounds. She ended up taking out loans to the max, and even though her son was going to the police, she still did not realize how sketchy the entire saga was. She is lucky she did not get thrown into a prison in Dubai, or simply murdered after they got all her money.
People do have to live their lives as they see fit. And there is no point in being completely paranoid. The key is to see the red flags, and avoid things like fear, deception, and flattery. Excessive flattery means you have hooked up with a fake flake. It does not mean you suddenly morphed into an object of divine beauty. It means you are being manipulated by a con artist. It may be tough to admit, but admitting it early will save you a lot of grief.
Conspiracies do exist, and have always existed. Some are small scale. Some are very large scale and convoluted. There is no shortage of devious schemes. Such schemes can surround everything from romance, to real estate, to health care, religion, and used cars. If there is money to be made, there will be schemes to go with it.
As far as mainstream media, some of it is true, and some of it is not. Instead of targeting a single individual, it is targeting the masses with sales pitches, or a steady diet of fear. The ways to counter this type of group think might be to avoid buying into garish titles, articles and talks. Alternatively, we can skim the topics and keep asking ourselves, “What is the motive here?” “What do they want us to believe?” They seem to be dealing in opposites and contradictions. Why? We should always be curious, and inquisitive because that’s how we learn, from the day we are born into this world.
We can be sure that in the competitive world of content creation, it is well known, people tend to gravitate toward negative news. In fact, there are numerous scholarly articles exploring the addiction to negative news.
Although much of the negative news is political in nature, it is not necessarily so, and not always a polarization between left and right. I believe a good percentage of it is competition based, marketing and profit based, and in the cases of certain individuals, ego based attention seeking.
It is one thing to aim for balanced content, and the sharing of ideas, but I believe if a person or organization is constantly steeped in gloom and doom, they are often trying to use negative news to emotionally bait and manipulate people.
One example to take note of is Jordan Peterson. Whether you admire him or not, and whether you agree with him or not, as a psychologist, he would know about emotional manipulation. He uses it in a high percentage of his youtube presentations.
In fact, he is now being shown crying in many of those presentations, as though the weight of the world is on his shoulders, and only he has the insight, the answers, and the predictions of what is to come. He seeks constant attention, and then he frets and cries about the attention he is getting. If he truly wants less attention, he simply has to back off the attention seeking. People fall into obscurity very quickly, no matter how famous they have become.
Just look at some of the top news stories of 2022, like the death of Olivia Newton John, or the Anne Heche car crash, or even the death of Queen Elizabeth. Before you know it, after a few splashes in every newspaper, they are soon forgotten, and life goes on. Anyone who is filled with self importance, must realize it is transient, and short-lived. Big egos of today, will be very disappointed to know how quickly they will be forgotten.
For a period of time a couple years ago, JP, his wife, and his daughter constantly aired their ill health and near death experiences. It was always very rare, and no one in Canada could treat those rare illnesses. After his bout in a drug induced coma in Russia, he started to recover, and it seemed like maybe he was humbled, and perhaps prepared to keep a lower profile.
But his self promotion could not be overcome, and he is all over social media covering every topic known to humans. He has a very distinctive style, and convoluted linguistic patterns. Nothing is straight forward. If he is asked a question, a yes or no answer is out of the question. First he reframes it, expands upon it, then tries to pull in the unravelling threads, then contradicts himself, and finally comes up with the conclusion. All this to prove the brilliance of his mind, and even more so, a rigid ego. However, don’t get me wrong, he has a right to express his many opinions in whatever way he chooses.
To be honest, I feel sorry for him. Not because he is crying and using emotional manipulation as click bait, but because he is a walking contradiction, and does not seem to realize it. He has been speaking a great deal about the Bible, yet he does not seem to have faith. The Bible tells us the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control. Like many of the topics he latches onto, he has a superficial grasp, but fails to fully process the truth.
We cannot oversimplify things in order to understand them, and nor can we go down every rabbit hole known to the human psyche. It’s just not healthy. He sort of does a bit of both, and has attracted many followers, so who am I to say? It’s just that I do not agree with all of his claims. But admittedly, I often do not agree with those who claim to be brilliant beyond our own comprehension.
We don’t have to be brilliant scientists, or align our opinions with the experts. In fact, the experts seem to be spreading more so-called misinformation than anyone else. In addition, the expert advice constantly changes, yet we are supposed to go along with it, even though the goal posts are constantly moving, and the game never ends.
Did we get a half time show? Do we get a chance to intercept the ball and run with it? Even if we are just playing our own game in our own back yard? Or will CBC show up with a camera crew, to make sure the game is full of gags?
The reality is that the world has been full of gloom and doom prophecies since the beginning of time. The Bible also describes an increasing amount of tribulation as we get closer to the end of the age. We almost need to recognize that fear is our greatest enemy. Or perhaps more aptly put, deception and fear are the arrows we must dodge on a daily basis.
One of our greatest assets is our intuition. Even though we conform to the laws and standards set out by the various authorities, no one can control another person’s mind. The best they can do is control behaviour. But truly, our thoughts are our own. There are certain hyper controlling individuals, and cults that do not want us to have our own thoughts, beliefs and opinions. The more controlling a person or organization is, the more likely they are to lose control. When we have a firm grasp of our own thoughts, and intellectual liberty, we are protecting our minds from the lunacy around us.
The reason we seek and speak the truth, is because when light shines on deception and darkness, it brings scrutiny, and scrutiny brings clarity. Clarity helps our thoughts, and give us confidence in our decision making abilities. Truth is not defective. It prevails in the end. Truth is our rock in times of trouble.
But consider this. We all have somewhere between sixty and eighty thousand thoughts per day. In many cases, we do not share our thoughts, and even if we share some of them, we could not possibly share all of them. Even in countries and times of extreme totalitarianism, people will still develop their own opinions, and many will not conform. Human nature is such that we question indoctrination, and many will independently seek the truth.
Even during the final hours before the Jim Jones massacre, as he descended into madness ranting and raving to a crowd of trapped followers, who turned into horrified onlookers, and then victims, there were many who tried to resist. They had been shut up and isolated, and had bought into a certain belief system for awhile, but many did try to escape. There were some brave individuals who stood up and tried to offer a voice of reason. Although it was considered a mass suicide, it was actually a mass murder, because most of those people did not sign up for such an atrocity. They were drawn into a massive deception.
Knowing it is in our nature to gravitate toward negative news, we simply need a good filter. Like ask yourself, “So what” or develop and share an opinion, but don’t count on a pat on the back, or anything at all. The value in sharing our opinions, is because conversation, discourse, and open dialogue is part of democracy. We share so that we do not become like flies shut up in a bottle feeding off our own thoughts, or those of a handful of experts who are self serving, and more indoctrinated than we are.
Some people try to avoid all the negativity through the various pop art cultures surrounding the power of positive thinking that have cropped up in different genres throughout the past forty or fifty years. Never mind, just be happy and surround yourself with positive people and positive thoughts, and voila – it will all magically go away.
The balance must be somewhere in the middle. Do a realistic appraisal of what is going on in the world, and how to best navigate it and/or adapt to it. There are certain things beyond our control, therefore we do have to adapt or we might be fighting a losing battle.
We are not responsible for the choices other people make. No matter how much someone tries to control other human beings, we still have intellectual freedom. For those of us who believe in the Gospel, we have liberty in the truth and in our faith.
Even though we feel depressed or downtrodden some of the time, it does not mean we lose our minds. In fact maintaining a sound mind, and a gratitude for all the good in the world, is the best antidote for a mind-altering regime, and negativity in the news.
If the sky is constantly falling, go out and look at the sky. It is reassuring. When spring comes, plant some flowers and watch them bloom. The trees will turn green just like they always do. You chat with a neighbour, or a friend and can still find normalcy, laughter, and common ground. Even if you talk to people routinely in the grocery store line-ups, it is quite remarkable, and enlightening to learn that most of them don’t buy into all the media hype either.
Whether it is the chirping of birds, or a good bowl of turkey soup with homemade bread, or the reliability and consistency of the seasons as the days get progressively longer, we can stay grounded.
How many times have we thought life is about pursuing happiness? Or wealth? Or being talented and beautiful? All such things are fleeting. Peace of mind is the greatest gift. We do not achieve it by listening to experts, or the media, or by reading self help books on the power of positive thinking.
We achieve it through faith, and security in the liberty of our own intellect, discernment and intuition. Then we can get the joy in the little things, and filter out the constant bombardment of gloom and doom.
Clearly things are careening off the rails. Apostasy not only affects the church, but it also affects the government, and things are becoming increasingly strange. Some of the things we are being exposed to defy logic. Many Christians believe they will be raptured, which is based on a false doctrine. Yet they are unshaken in this belief, and deceived. I cannot find anything in the Bible to support this concept. It is based on a complete alteration of the Bible by John Darby in the early 1800’s, and advanced by various books and Hollywood movies.
Like so many things, the rapture doctrine is based on escapism. We cannot escape reality or truth though, try as we might. There are so many questions people should ask themselves about this doctrine. In my opinion, it is not much different than a romance scam. It is a belief that is a magical and attractive alternative to facing the truth of tribulation and troubled times.
It’s interesting, because my question is not only where they think they will go, but whether or not they think they will still be alive, even though they are supposedly going to be raptured into the heavens. They cling to this belief, yet they cannot make such an exit while still being alive, so paradoxically they are facing death anyway. And they are hoping for an early death, which is not a common trait among people in general.
I also wonder, where do they think they will be hanging out until Christ’s return? What are they going to be doing in the meantime? And where in the Bible does it say there will be a secret rapture to take the believers out of the world when the going gets tough? Personally, I think John Darby created one of the biggest lies in the history of the church. It is not just the rapture theology that is wrapped up in this alteration of the Bible. There are many other unbiblical teachings embodied in the alternative doctrine as well. Yet you can hardly find a church that does not preach this stuff.
It is true, we can believe what we choose to believe, and whatever religions, or doctrines a person embraces is their own business. But all people should know the origin of what they are being taught. All churches should clearly state their denomination and foundational beliefs, so people know what they are signing up for. False doctrine was introduced to the churches since the beginning of time. The Bible gives us many warnings to test all things and not to be deceived. We are in a spiritual battle with enmity toward the church, so we should all be careful what we listen to. The church can actually be far worse than the secular world when it comes to deception.
Nothing can separate us from God’s love, and nothing is going to change His plans for the future of this world. For believers, there can be no greater solace, or hope than what God has to offer. We do not have to be filled with fear and worry regardless of the times of trouble.
A filter in our minds is synonymous with discernment. If we seek the truth, we will find it. The world has a great deal to overcome, but thankfully, we do have help, and guidance.
So rather than making the standard Happy New Year statement, here is wishing you a New Year filled with gratitude, goodness, hope, truth, and plenty of discernment, in the months and seasons ahead of us. Have faith, 2023 will have good things in store for us.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This discussion paper on the effects and methods surrounding psychological and emotional abuse, provides a good summary of the range of psychological abuse, and the devastating consequences for the victim.
The intentional infliction of emotional and psychological abuse is a form of family and relational violence. Those who carry it out seem to think that because it does not involve physical assault with obvious signs of injury, they can deny it and continue to blame the victim. The denial creates a thin and brittle veil, to try and justify ongoing abuse.
All people should edify themselves on this topic, and examine whether or not they are carrying out psychological abuse and violence. It frequently happens within families, and becomes a pattern and stronghold.
The only way this topic of harm can be reduced, is if those who are engaged in carrying out the harm can get past their own denial, and develop some empathy and compassion.
One of the most dominant traits of characters who are steeped in cruelty, and personality disorders, revolves around the intentional infliction of harm, and the sadistic enjoyment of causing pain to others, especially a weaker person. The intentional infliction of emotional and psychological abuse is the domain of serial bullies. It becomes an established part of their attitude and conduct.
There is a sense of selfish and arrogant entitlement, combined with an absolute callous disregard for the rights of others, or acknowledgement of the depth of harm they are causing.
Ultimately, they will bring the pain and suffering they have caused back upon themselves. There is a boomerang effect. The entire Bible is full of warnings about the cause and effect of cruelty, and how people will be trapped by their own devices.
There is no greater example of compassion and kindness than what was exhibited by Christ. His primary purpose is to bring comfort to the downtrodden. While here on this earth, he healed people, and told people to pray for those who persecute them.
All people are capable of repenting, changing, apologizing, forgiving and being forgiven. If a person refuses to have empathy and compassion, their hearts become hardened, and God turns them over to a reprobate mind. He also sends them strong delusion, so they can no longer even discern the truth, or gain insight into their own lives. To become hardened, is a death sentence for the soul.
A lack of compassion causes phenomenal harm to the victim, but ultimately those who become cold and hardened, while continuing to carry out these acts of psychological violence – are jeopardizing their own souls.
Although this is a secular paper from a government website, it does give an outline of the range and depth of human suffering resulting from emotional and psychological abuse.
Some of the most longstanding and iconic companies have filed for bankruptcy. It is enough to change the retail landscape for the rest of time. Even Amazon is becoming increasingly unstable. After the initial covid surge in online sales, the stocks have plummeted, with much speculation surrounding the future of the behemoth company. But Amazon is not really iconic or historically enduring compared to some of these companies. In some ways it is more of an anomaly, than anything else.
Notable stores that have filed for bankruptcy recently include J.C. Penney, Neiman Marcus Group, Aldo, True Religion, Barneys New York, Sonia Rykiel, Roberto Cavalli, Diesel, Nine West, J. Crew, Claire’s, Lord & Taylor, Revlon, Escada, Ralph & Russo, Francesca’s, Furla, Brooks Bothers, G Star Raw, Lucky Dungarees, Alfred Angelo, Jaeger, BCBG Max Mara, and many more.
This list does not include the influx of pending bankruptcies for 2021 and 2022. It is truly staggering. For example Brooks Brothers was in business for more than 200 years. The company Jaeger was founded in 1884.
The crash in retail fashion sales is truly apocalyptic, which means it is never going to be the same. Companies with product in all price ranges seem to be affected. For instance, the jewelry company Claire’s sold a mass produced cheaper line of jewelry. I am not surprised to see Claire’s go under.
Whereas Roberto Cavalli is an upscale designer founded in 1970, known for bold prints, and exotic animal prints on leather and textiles. Sonia Rykiel founded her company in 1968 and became known as the “queen of knits”.
Alfred Angelo was founded in Florida in the mid 1930’s. The company specialized in wedding, bridesmaid, mother of the bride, and party dresses. They filed for bankruptcy just before the covid crisis.
Escada was founded in Germany by Margaretha Ley, and has been a leading luxury apparel brand since 1978. The company had retail stores in twenty-four countries. They could not withstand the covid crisis, and ran into problems renewing their leases.
It also appears the publicly traded luxury brand consignment company the RealReal is at risk of bankruptcy. A recent article in Forbes magazine describes its business model as not being designed for the long haul. Personally, I believe consignment carries a fair bit of risk for those who contribute product.
However, the luxury brand second hand market is now a thirty-two billion dollar industry, and has seen growth five times faster than the primary retail market has shown between 2017-2021. For those who are poised for the long haul, and do not have massive expenses, debt, or red tape to deal with, the circular economy is a carousal we can keep on riding.
After all, the UCLG (United Cities and Local Governments) added a policy to support culture as one of the key pillars of economic development. Therefore, sustaining and supporting culture is well established, and recognized for its relevance and importance in the economy. The definition of culture is fairly broad, but it most certainly includes fashion and art.
“Culture can be defined as all the ways of life including arts, beliefs and institutions of a population that are passed down from generation to generation. Culture has been called “the way of life for an entire society.” As such, it includes codes of manners, dress, language, religion, rituals, art.”
It seems the recent surge of bankruptcies is just the tip of the iceberg, with another long list of potential bankruptcies pending.
For all of my adult life, I have believed 20th century design represents the final hurrah for quality and luxury in the fashion world. It was the century of modern day magnificence, and boundless creativity in fashion design. It did not rely upon fast fashion mass produced in China, but showcased designer talents from many countries. Italy, France, USA, India, Germany, Canada, UK, Czechoslovakia, Austria, Mexico, Japan, and 1960’s Hong Kong, all contributed a cultural splendour among certain designers of fashion and jewelry. Many of the textiles, are now obsolete, and the quality of workmanship is labour intensive and cost prohibitive.
The questions we might ask ourselves now: How far will it tumble? How many more will go down? How much of it will recover? And what will the recovery look like? It almost seems certain, many of the most beautiful things, will never be made again.
At present there are many unknowns. The stock market predictions are not very reliable because a company like Amazon can hang on for awhile, and then suddenly the shares could devalue to next to nothing. One aspect of Amazon I could never understand is how they could afford such a liberal shipping and return policy.
When it comes to online sales, in my own limited experience, shipping is a significant expense. If a company has many returns, which requires repackaging and re-listing, in addition to the cost of shipping, I can see why they might go broke.
All throughout history, the artisans and contributors to the fashion industry have thrived. People have been wearing fine textiles and jewelry since the dawn of mankind.
Now it seems quite possible many of these things, especially the higher end textiles, gemstones and finery – will no longer be made.
It is beginning to look like the end.
We can read about this in the Book of Revelation Chapter 18 KJV:
11 And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her; for no man buyeth their merchandise any more:
Thankfully we do not all have to weep and mourn over these bankruptcies, or the prophecies we read about in the Bible. However it is truly astounding to live in a time where so many prophecies are being fulfilled, right before our eyes.
I hope it serves to strengthen our faith, in spite of it all. We are not supposed to give up, but to be steadfast, keep working, and do good.
The best advice is to avoid worshipping things, no matter how opulent they may be. We can admire them, show them, wear them, or sell them – but we do not worship them.
They are products. Many of the products are well made and beautiful. The most talented designers, and resellers simply look for the best quality, and most long lasting products.
We do not stop living, even though we are in the midst of these developments, because we do not know how long the downturn will last, or how exactly things will unfold.
It could be an hour, a day, or another hundred years or more. Throughout history people have always set dates, and predicted the end of the world as we know it. We are to keep working toward the good, and have faith.
If all else fails, believers in the Gospel will not cease to exist, and eventually we will see a new beginning. Truthfully, the future holds more beauty than anything we could ever imagine, or anything we have ever seen before.
Therefore in times of trouble – we keep the faith. And remember – wisdom is more precious than gold.
First of all, I want to say, the secular world is often nowhere near as bad as false teachers, and the promoters of deceptive pseudo-Christianity. No one has a greater propensity for evil, than those who profess to be Christians and use false teachings to deceive and entrap people.
Many people in the secular world, are actually quite honest and upfront. So be aware of false prophets, greed, and carnival barker types, in all facets of society. The world has become a circus. No one is exempt from being called to step right up, and redress the wolves in sheep’s clothing.
In addition to praying for discernment, and reading what the Bible actually says, instead of listening to the interpretations of others, how do we screen out the many deceptions coming from people who call themselves Christians?
There are many different translations of the Bible now. In fact there are over a hundred different translations, some of which are obviously cultish, and some of which are subtly deceptive, and therefore much more difficult to discern.
All Bible translations teaching an altered Gospel, or a version adding to or leaving out part of the original message, is bound to lead people astray. The end times brings about the greatest apostasy the world has ever known. Jesus repeatedly warned people not to be deceived. Every Christian has an obligation to be sure they are not reading an altered version of the Bible. Many of the various translations drastically change the wording, or leave out key passages. They do so for a reason, and it is not for the good.
Another sign of false teaching contains elements of faith healing, or prosperity Gospel. Anything with sensationalism, or the focus on the preacher, and his extraordinary claims or capabilities, is bound to be off base. In addition to the rise of multiple altered translations of the Bible, there are also hundreds if not thousands of false teachers and preachers now.
Any Christian or religious organization that demands money, or has huge Donate buttons on their website, is after money, not truth. If they put a call out for those who need prayer, with a big Donate button directly below it, what are they suggesting? Do they want to dupe people into paying them to pray? How absurd.
The Hollywood movies and books about the rapture, appeal to fictionalized versions of the Bible. But life is not a Hollywood movie, and Hollywood is known to promote falsehoods. They should stick to car chases, the Titanic, and Wizard of Oz. Any movie they create based on the Bible, is bound to be fictional.
In fact the secular world is less likely to dupe us than the pseudo-Christian world is. It is a sad fact, but unfortunately it is what it is. Many Christians are gullible, and therefore vulnerable to false teaching.
It is not to suggest we cannot have differences in nuances, interpretations, and our understanding of the many mysteries contained within the Bible. People are inclined to see things differently. This is probably why Christ tells us to believe in Him, repent, and accept the foundational truths with faith and perseverance. If we do so, He is faithful to help us discern and understand God’s word.
Another thing I find to be a turn off, is when a teacher or preacher is constantly pitching their own books, instead of the Bible. They use their position primarily to promote themselves. If they are filled with pride and self-exaltation, they are not likely to be sincere. Some of them actually write tracts and books based on the sermons they preach, and what they extrapolate from the Bible.
They get paid to preach the Gospel, and then they double dip, and get paid again for the books they write based on their sermons. They are not even using their own content, yet they seek to profit endlessly from what the Apostle’s wrote under God’s instructions. Some of them travel around in private jets. One well known preacher travels all over the world first class, with all twelve of his children, plus an entourage. What an incredible waste of donated money, with no regard for the poor, or the middle class people who support such lavish lifestyles. Life for some of those guys, is one big all expense paid holiday.
Could we take any other writer’s content, and claim it as our own? Could we alter it as we pleased so it conforms to our own agenda? God forbid. Can we plagiarize a song, or any other book created by someone else? It is why we have copyright laws. Even the secular world does not permit this, and protects the copyright of the original creator. Christians are supposed to be held to a higher standard of ethics, not a lower standard. The Bible is in the public domain, and is supposed to be spread among the nations. This does not mean people have the right to alter the Bible, or use it to make money for themselves, as so many have done.
In addition, we now have Christian teachers and preachers who claim anything goes, to include all kinds of different doctrines. It is shrouded in acceptance, and the pretence of being non-judgmental, but it is not based on the truth of the original Gospel. How is such blanket acceptance of all doctrines different than the secular world?
Of course people can believe what they choose to believe. We have no ability to change those choices, and nor do we try to prevent others from what they choose to believe, just as we believe what we have chosen to believe. It is not up to us to judge or condemn anyone.
Obviously there are certain activities and belief systems we reject. There are many things rising an ugly head in this world to stand firm against. Some examples of what we should stand against are child abuse, the loss of human dignity, slander and lies, the persecution of the poor, the loss of value for human life, the promotion of evil, and the loss of basic and inalienable rights. We are in the midst of profound spiritual warfare, and we are called upon to turn away from evil and do good. We are not supposed to allow ourselves, or our loved ones to be sacrificed to evil.
Now, probably more than any other time in history, people are seeking spiritual realities. We know the world is changing rapidly. Some of the things we have been exposed to are hardly believable. The school boards are increasingly permissive, and allowing children to be traumatized and confused, with increasing amounts of cognitive dissonance, and warped values.
The health care system is promoting all kinds of pharmaceutical interventions, while simultaneously not allowing even the most basic health promotions, like diet, nutrition and Vitamin C. Rest and increase clear fluids if you are getting sick, is still the best advice. People go to a doctor in order to get his/her advice and treatment. They do not go to a government official, or the local newspaper for personal health care. Yet the government and media seem to have taken over the role of personalized medical treatments.
All of the foundational beliefs are on shaky ground. We are left with just one rock to keep ourselves stable in the coming months and years. Otherwise we are grabbing at straws. Deception wears many different masks. Filter the motives first and foremost. Our thoughts do not belong to the state or to false religions, or foundational lies.
Remember, the devil wants to control our minds. If he can achieve that, he can control our emotions, and our will. If people believe lies, they end up getting a reprobate mind, and their hearts are hardened against the truth. We are protected by spiritual discernment, truth and faith. We have to seek the truth, or our foolish hearts will be darkened.
Shunning is another form of cultish abuse, especially if done within one’s own family. It is also referred to in psychology circles as silent bullying. It makes it impossible for the person shunned to have any relationships at all, without explaining the family dynamic, or the deep-rooted cult belief system. No one wants to listen to the origins of ingrained and cultish beliefs. It is much easier to just cut you off, or cut yourself off.
People tend to side with money, power and the flavour of the day. Kicking someone to the curb is much easier if they can cover it all up with ignoring, and ignorance. They will not even listen to the other side of the story. Truth is inconvenient and not very lucrative. Forgiveness is not even in the equation. Disobey the master, and suffer his eternal judgment, not God’s judgment. Money does not sanctify a person. In fact, countless people are steeped in dirty money.
Those who are involved in wrongdoing do not want to hear the other side of the story. They will go to great lengths to deflect and cast the punishment onto the victim, instead of themselves. Shunning is not just about the decision to associate with those who have similar values, and avoiding those who don’t.
It is the selective and complete ostracizing of a person who refuses to buy into the cult’s lies, abuse, and control tactics. The intent is to reject, and deem a family member to be completely and utterly worthless. It is often used as a method to prevent the exposure of the cult or the bully. Bullies who can no longer find ways to physically assault, will often resort to various forms of psychological torture.
Shunning takes the form of ganging up on one person. Often it is a weaker person who is shunned and rejected. It is far worse if there is exposure of wrongdoing involved. It is accompanied by ganging up on the person, slandering, making false accusations, and is often a precursor to assault and murder. In the Old Testament shunning a weaker family member was considered to be a death sentence equivalent to stoning.
Shunning is a very dominant practice among all kinds of cults. Any person who is engaging in this kind of cruelty is cultish, whether it is for church, familial or business reasons. Those who go along with it often do so for financial gain, or to find favour with the leader of the cult. Many business transactions are enmeshed in cult-like practices.
Therefore every business has an obligation to avoid destructive and abusive cult practices. Otherwise it is a sure symptom of systemic corruption. They will bribe others to punish, shun, reject, and continue longstanding familial abuse. People should not make the mistake of engaging in such cruelty without knowing God will punish all acts of intentional cruelty toward others, especially family members.
It seems like each and every day now, is a challenge to be washed clean of all the weirdness in this world. One of the major fashion companies is now facing a huge scandal, not only in relation to child pornography, but also in other dark, and dirty ads they used to promote their brand. They created ads where models were wearing elaborate gowns covered in mud, surrounded by dark and apocalyptic imagery.
What next? We need to get all the dirt and mud imagery out of our minds, and and be washed clean. It is so far gone, even those who are blinded by the insanity of it, cannot help but be alarmed when they see ads promoting suicide as “hard beauty” and children’s toy campaigns, in conjunction with exhibits of children in sexualized bondage gear, and violent victimization. It has gone too far. Way too far.
We all have different gifts. Some have the gift of teaching. Some have the gift of discernment. Some have the gift of compassion. We need to focus on these gifts from God, and use them. Until the end of this age arrives, we need to focus on turning away from these evil promotions, and do good.
Our gifts are not packaged in Christmas wrap and red bows. They are packaged in our minds and hearts. And we are to use our gifts, take the time, express our love and concern, and hope with all our hearts and minds, to overcome the degradation of all systems.
We are here for a purpose. Now is the time to be the salt of the earth. If we can prevent one person from slipping and falling, we have done something good. If we can be charitable, we can help someone in need. If we can reach a troubled soul, and offer the hope contained in the Gospel, we are doing good.
Now is the time to pick our side in this war of good against evil. There can be no lukewarm stance. And if we get to the point we cannot do anything – we can still pray with all our heart and soul. Every single one of us has a role, so may we beseech one another – let it be for the good.
To avoid confusion these are the things God hates, and how quickly the punishment will come upon those who do not repent and turn away from these things. See Proverbs 6: 15-19
15 Therefore shall his calamitie come suddenly; suddenly shall hee be broken without remedie.
16¶ These sixe things doeth the Lord hate; yea seuen are an abomination vnto him:
17 A proude looke, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood:
18 An heart that deuiseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischiefe:
19 A false witnesse that speaketh lies; and him that soweth discord among brethren.
What are the signs of goodness? The fruits of the spirit are spelled out in Galatians 5:22
But the fruit of the spirit is loue, ioy, peace, long suffering, gentlenesse, goodnesse, faith, Meekenesse, temperance: against such there is no law.
We all get to choose, but only to a point. Just when it seems the wicked have completely taken over this world, there is going to be a massive and sudden reversal.
Money, elitism, and worldly powers will not save the wicked from God’s wrath. In fact, people who abuse power are in for a colossal awakening. They will have nowhere to hide. No more deception, and no more lies. Those who mock God – are playing with fire.
We are not supposed to judge people. There are countless verses in the Bible telling us not to judge, lest we be judged ourselves. Christ came to save sinners, not self-righteous people, who believe they can see all the sin around them, yet they themselves have no sin. Often it is the most religious people who are the most judgmental, and end up being the biggest hypocrites of all.
In fact, hypocrites use accusations to shame, degrade, and condemn other people. Many times, they use false accusations to constantly throw us off guard, and make us defensive. This is the kind of judgment to avoid.
However paradoxically, we are also called upon to warn people, especially as the end of the age draws near. What is the difference between judging and warning people? An example given in the book of John describes a woman who was caught in adultery, and was to be stoned, according to the laws of Moses. Christ told those who were prepared to stone her, to examine their own lives, and let the person who is without sin, cast the first stone.
Fortunately the people who were there, were then convicted of their own faults, and sins. Not one of them picked up a stone to stone her. Instead the crowd quietly dissipated.
It seems what happened in so many of these Biblical examples, Christ demonstrated mercy, forgiveness and grace. Each time the person is forgiven, but also admonished to sin no more. Right there, is the difference between judging and warning. Christ told the people who were there, not to judge her. But he also followed up by telling her to stop the affair, which was the warning he gave her.
There are also many verses clearly telling us to stop certain behaviours, as well as to warn others if they are doing something to imperil their own souls. Warning is not the same as judgment. We are not the judges. We all make a mess of things, especially if we are caught up in the various temptations in this world, such as money, affairs, addiction to drugs and alcohol, deceptions, selfishness, and cruelty.
These are all things we are called upon to overcome, and we all have enough on our plates, without judging others. The warning therefore, is about being careful not to view ourselves as being holier than anyone else.
Judgment implies superiority, which also indicates a spiritual haughtiness and pride. If we go to church on Sundays, dress nicely, appear to have our lives in order, drive a nice car, have good jobs, live in a nice house, and so on, it gives the appearance of having it all together. Therefore we must be blessed by God. But is it really so?
How many times do we read about Christian pastors having affairs? Or about someone who goes to church every Sunday, and demonstrates all the things we believe show true values, yet they hire a hit man, or use the church as a front to create a pretence for fraud and deceit. It is entirely possible that in business dealings or family life, they are cruel and deceptive, regardless of the outward appearances.
Years ago, I recall listening to a pastor give a sermon about drug addicts. His daughter was a street nurse, and had an accidental needle stick injury from an addicted person’s syringe. He used this incident as the central theme for his entire sermon. It was understandable why he might be upset over something like that, but his rage toward drug addicts was alarming and over the top.
After describing what had happened, he went on to rant and rave about the low life drug addicts. He had zero empathy for them. They deserved to die, and should be condemned for all eternity, for the harm they brought to innocent people. He was definitely casting stones, in his use of words and his attitude toward them, going so far as to call them the scum of the earth.
At the time, I started thinking about all the sick people, beggars, those with leprosy, and various others during Biblical times, who would have been scorned and judged in a similar way.
We have a juxtaposition now, in many towns and cities, where church parking lots, and foyers are used as places for the addicted and homeless to congregate at night. Then when Sunday service rolls around, they are chased away, and the congregation shows up in nice cars, all dressed up, for the Sunday church service.
In reality, all people are invited to church, and included in the hope presented in the Gospel. How many people do manage to overcome drug and alcohol addiction? Countless people have gone down that path, and manage to quit, and find forgiveness and acceptance.
There is a fine line between enabling and disabling. Judgment is disabling. Allowing ourselves to be manipulated is enabling. So to find the balance, and simply warn people, without judgment, is the difficult part.
We cannot assume we know who will ultimately be condemned. Therefore, we can’t justify condemning anyone, regardless of what they look like, or even what they do.
The other day I watched a Dateline show about a dentist who murdered his wife while on an African safari. It was a true story describing the character of the dentist, who must have broken every single one of the ten commandments. He had multiple affairs, shot his wife of thirty four years point blank with a shotgun, lied to his grown children, tried to bribe the police in Africa, and then collected almost five million in insurance claims.
Prior to these events, he was warned. He sat on various different boards, and was called out on his bad reputation and nefarious activities. What did he do? Instead of heeding the warnings, he sued them, and won. After the murder of his wife, and collecting the insurance money, he moved into a big fancy house with his mistress.
It took several years of investigation, but he did finally get caught and convicted. His mistress is also facing something like fifteen years in prison for her role in obstruction of justice, perjury, etc. They both ended up shackled.
Even after his arrest, the mistress thought she was going to remain in the big house, and keep all the cash they had stashed away in a safe. But the dentist’s son took over his estate, and found a way to cut her off, and kick her out, even before she got arrested. Put it this way, the worst laid plans are likely to go awry. How anyone thinks they can get away with something like that, is truly mind boggling.
This is a classic illustration of the earthly consequences of refusing to listen to warnings, along with the horrific outcomes. He had a long time affair with his mistress. It is an oft repeated story of someone who was simply never satisfied. He had a net worth of twenty seven million dollars as it was. He was traipsing around with his mistress, and his wife, taking lavish trips, and leading a double life. His greed and duplicity was insatiable.
In addition, his wife did not heed the warning signs. She did not want to give up the lavish lifestyle either. Her friends said she loved her husband, but was well aware of his many affairs. Apparently. she told a friend she was going on the trip to Africa, as a last ditch attempt to save her marriage. Her marriage was over. He had planned the murder in advance. Sadly, no one was going to save her, let alone the marriage.
She even voiced to her friend, that she thought he might kill her. Why on earth would she go on the trip with him? She was also a big game hunter, and was very keen to shoot a leopard. Why anyone would want to shoot a leopard is beyond me. It became clear though, why he wanted to shoot his wife. He wanted the insurance money, and ended up collecting almost five million dollars.
I’m not sure if the husband got the death penalty or not, but he is in his sixties, and at the very least, will face the rest of his life in jail. His adult children are devastated, and until the evidence was put before them, flat out refused to believe he could do such a thing. But they too, knew about the mistress, and tried to ignore it, in spite of the workplace gossip, and obvious trysts.
This story is an extreme example of the refusal to accept warnings. One after another, they all turned a blind eye. In many cases, we cannot stop another person from doing what they are going to do. In some cases, it is none of our business.
But it does show us how a warning, or action on the part of those involved, might have prevented such a tragedy. One can only imagine what it must be like to be killed by your own spouse, in those final moments of realization, when all the denial is about to get blown apart.
It was not really up to the office managers, and those who worked in his dental offices, to try and stop what was developing. They would probably have been fired or sued, given the kind of character he was. The dentist himself set up the plot, and he is the one to be held responsible.
The mistress was culpable, especially by giving him an ultimatum to leave his wife. The wife had some responsibility by accepting and ignoring the affairs, in order to maintain the lifestyle. Even if she did love him, he clearly did not love her. The denial ended up leading to her own death. Maybe the friend she confided in could have warned her.
The warnings we are to give people who persist in wrongdoing, depends on the role we play in their lives, as well as the role they play in our lives. If we are part of a plot, even though we did not create the plot, we might avert disaster by confronting and warning those involved.
So the difference between warning and judging, is one of trying to prevent a disaster, or impending peril. Judging on the other hand, is the adamant belief the person will be condemned, because we can clearly see why he should be condemned. We do not know what will happen to him in the end though. He might repent of his sins, now that he is facing dire consequences. Who knows? Remorse is a blessing for those who truly comprehend the magnitude of what they have done.
Those who were aware of this unfolding disaster, might have been able to warn the dentist, the wife, or the mistress. In a Biblical sense, we are told to warn people of the impending disaster, if we see it coming.
In a similar way, we don’t judge the addict, and assume they are a low life. None of us are throwaways. I believe if we have a close friend or family member who is addicted, or involved in some other activity that imperils their life, or will lead them to hellfire and damnations, we should warn them.
We can let them know it is important to change, without condemning them. After all, our concern is for their life, their soul, and for the good. Averting tragedy is an act of love and courage. Judgment on the other hand, is like shutting the door on them after the fact.
If we warn people, we have done all we can. If we are doing something, and we are warned about it with sincerity and truth, we too, have an obligation to pay attention, and turn away from whatever it is we are doing.
No one is truly drug free, or free of sin, greed, lust, and all the other human pitfalls. We are simply navigating these various landmines. Through a process of redemption and grace, we begin to turn away from the things that might lead to destruction.
Things like fraud, affairs, deceptions, gambling, drugs, alcohol, etc. have a way of sucking us into bigger problems and plots. If we continue in the direction of increasing the wrongdoing, as opposed to acknowledging, apologizing, and turning away from them, they increase in magnitude, and can easily become catastrophic.
The best we can do, is warn people, and if done in good faith, heed warnings ourselves. That way, we are not as likely to end up with blood on our hands.
We are saved by grace. Otherwise none of us would make it out of this world, with any hope of forgiveness and salvation.
As we approach another Christmas, now more than ever before, we have much to ponder and pray about as we evaluate the many comparisons surrounding the birth of Christ, up until the return of Christ. The time is getting closer. We are watching it unfold. We are also called upon to warn people.
In my opinion, the Christmas celebration is not really about the birth Of Christ, but for many it represents the concept, rather than the truth. If we really knew the origin of the Christmas concept, we would probably change our minds about the entire celebration.
However any time, is a good time to read the Bible and see what it says. Even the time of year Christmas is celebrated makes little sense. Not to be a scrooge, because it is good for family and friends to get together at any time. It’s just that we tend to place Biblical or Christian meanings into areas where they do not belong.
The Book of Revelation, and many other passages in the Bible talk about both the birth of Christ, and the return of Christ, as being comparable to a woman travailing in labour, about to give birth. The contractions increase in intensity, and frequency until it is time to deliver the baby.
Revelation 12: 1-2 describes this birth:
1 And there appeared a great wonder in heauen, a woman clothed with the Sunne, & the Moone vnder her feete, and vpon her head a Crowne of twelue starres:
2 And shee being with childe, cried, trauailing in birth, and pained to be deliuered.
What does the crown of twelve stars mean? I believe it is referring to God’s people, and is representing the 144,000 from every tribe and nation who have the seal of God on their foreheads. What happens when she gives birth to Christ?
3 And there appeared another wonder in heauen, and behold a great red dragon, hauing seuen heads, and ten hornes, and seuen crownes vpon his heads.
4 And his taile drew the third part of the starres of heauen, and did cast them to the earth: And the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be deliuered, for to deuoure her childe as soone as it was borne.
5 And shee brought foorth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of yron: and her child was caught vp vnto God, and to his Throne.
6 And the woman fled into the wildernesse, where shee hath a place prepared of God, that they should feed her there a thousand, two hundred, and threescore dayes.
I know some people consider the original 1611 KJV text to be archaic, but I find it to be fascinating. Although the Book of Revelation contains many mysteries, the general overall meaning is about the revelation of Jesus Christ. It is not about a focus on the antichrist, and nor is the focus on the tribulation and persecution of the saints. It is also not about the rapture of the saints. It spans the God’s plan of redemption, from the conception and birth of Christ, to the return of Christ. He is the beginning, and the ending, of what is, what was, and what is to come.
The birth is described as an increasing intensity of events in the world, until the time of delivery.
After the birth of Christ, Satan – also referred to as the dragon, was waiting and ready to devour and destroy Christ, but God did not allow it. He also did not allow Satan to destroy the future of God’s people. The woman fled to the wilderness, chased by the dragon.
7 And there was warre in heauen, Michael and his Angels fought against the dragon, & the dragon fought and his angels,
8 And preuailed not, neither was their place found any more in heauen.
9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the deuill and Satan, which deceiueth the whole world: hee was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
10 And I heard a lowd voyce saying in heauen, Now is come saluation, and strength, and the kingdome of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.
There was a great battle in heaven, and this was when the devil was cast out of heaven once and for all. So he lost dominion in heaven, but became prevalent on the earth, to roam around and destroy whoever he could destroy. As we near the end of the age, the intensity of the devil’s rage and persecution on this earth increases. We can feel this in our own souls and spirits. It is painful. Some people face more persecution than others do.
The woman who gave birth was given a place of refuge for a certain period of time. I believe this represents the length of time Christ was here on the earth to share the Gospel, and set up a way for the Gospel to be spread to all of the nations on this earth. Satan went to war with the remnant of Christ’s people, or the seed of the woman, as represented by the twelve crowns she wore. Therefore all Christians face persecution, and the entire world has fallen under a great deal of deception.
This chapter goes on to say how the dragon was angry, and went to war with the remnant of her seed.
It explains why we are facing such an increase in the intensity and force of contractions on this earth, as the time of Christ’s return draws closer.
Therefore both the birth of Christ, and the return of Christ are described as the pain of a woman in labour. It also sheds some light on what we are up against, and why things are becoming increasingly wicked in this world. Few people can dispute it, given the things that have been going on in the last couple of years. Things do seem to be getting worse. Much worse.
All throughout history, humankind has faced a battle between good and evil. However the great apostasy in all realms of human existence really started to increase in the 1800’s, when all the nation’s were deceived by various exalted men. With the advances in the printing press, there was widespread propaganda, and the means to spread Satanic deceptions. Psalm 12: 8 The wicked walk on all sides when the vilest men are exalted.
Considering the age of the earth, the first and second world wars, are fairly recent. In fact the twentieth century brought about a surge in both progress, and in apocalyptic prophecies. It does appear all four horses of the apocalypse have been released upon the earth. The fourth horse is the pale horse, followed by Hades.
Now in the process of this long labour, and acceleration of painful contractions, the death and destruction is manifested as we see it happening today. The devil’s time is shortening, therefore his anger, wrath, and persecution increases.
What does this all mean? So many Christians believe it means there will be a magical rapture. But it is not what the Bible says. In fact the rapture is not in the Bible at all, unless you follow an altered Bible written by John Darby around 1830. It is a deception, and although it may be attractive to some, it is still a lie. There are many other lies embodied in the Darby belief system, such as the seven year tribulation, and the separation of the State of Israel.
Galatians 3:28-29 says: There is neither Iewe, nor Greeke, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Iesus.
29 And if yee be Christs, then are ye Abrahams seed, and heires according to the promise.
If Christians are to be raptured during the period of persecution and tribulation, why would it be necessary to place the seal of God upon the foreheads of the believers at the onset of the increasing levels of trouble and tribulation? What about all the other Christians throughout history who faced incredible persecution? We are told to endure until the end. In chapter seven it says the following:
2 And I saw another Angel ascending from the East, hauing the seale of the liuing God: and he cried with a loud voice to the foure Angels to whom it was giuen to hurt the earth and the Sea,
3 Saying, Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees, till wee haue sealed the seruants of our God in their foreheads.
Consider this – if the saints are to be raptured, this would not need to be done. Later on in Revelation, it describes the various punishments, and wrath of God being released upon the earth. It says these punishments are set to be poured upon the wicked, not those with the seal of God on their foreheads.
The Christians who are still alive when Christ returns will rise up then, and not before, to meet Christ in the clouds. There is also nothing to indicate Christians will return with Christ when He comes. He comes with an army of angels, and throughout the opening of the seals, right up until the harvest time, He is giving instructions to the angels.
If the Christians were to be raptured like so many believe, where do they go? And how do they get back to earth when Christ returns to the earth for the millennial reign? Christians are not in heaven awaiting the return of Christ. We know this because in the book of John it says that people are not in heaven.
I do believe Christians are with the Lord in spirit when we die, and await his return in comfort, in a location other than heaven. Christians who have died are resting somewhere, and waiting patiently until the new millennium, and resurrection to everlasting life. We do not know the physical location of Abraham’s bosom, also known as the paradise of God. We just know we will be at rest, and there will be a wide gulf between those who are wicked, and those who are in Christ.
John 3:13 And no man hath ascended vp to heauen, but hee that came downe from heauen, euen the Sonne of man which is in heauen.
When Christ returns to the earth, it says the dead in Christ shall rise first. If the dead in Christ are actually in heaven already, they would not rise or ascend, they would be coming down, not going up, at that moment in time.
Matthew 25: 31 When the Sonne of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy Angels with him, then shall hee sit vpon the throne of his glory:
The book of Revelation also tells us we will reign with Christ on this earth for a thousand years. It says the rest of the dead, meaning those who are not saved, will not live again until the end of the thousand year reign.
There is great controversy surrounding the hellfire, damnation, and judgment day that is to come. Many preachers, and Bible teachers adamantly claim there are no second chances. If you die without repenting and accepting Christ, you will be going straight to eternal damnation and hellfire. I am not convinced of this either.
I would never suggest anything other than what it says in the Bible. The entire Gospel calls upon all people, from the church to the profoundly wicked, to repent and believe in the salvation of Christ. It is certainly the truth, and the best advice. There are many mysteries contained in the Bible we do not understand yet. We must have faith, and believe God’s plan will work out exactly as he intends it to work out. It would not be wise to take chances, but nor is it wise to assume we know who will be excluded from God’s mercy, and who is in the book of life. We have not seen the book, have not read it, and simply do not know.
From what I have read, there will be phenomenal and supernatural wrath upon the wicked. Each and every stage of this wrath, is intended to get the wicked to repent. Keep in mind, we ALL have to repent and turn away from the sin we have indulged in throughout our lives. We are not the ones who will be doing the judging, unless we are given instructions by Christ to be part of this. The judgment is Christ’s call, and only God knows those who are predestined to be adopted into the family of God, and eternal life.
As Christians we do face judgment in many ways, but not during the final great white throne of judgment. I believe the judgment we face comes with full repentance, and remorse for the bad things we have done. There is a process of sanctification when we become repentant, and filled with grief and remorse for all the wrongdoing in our lifetime. I think this is what is referred to as facing the judgment seat of Christ. We bare our soul, and we know beyond a doubt, we are doomed without His mercy, forgiveness and grace. We are brought to the foot of the cross, humbled and broken, seeking forgiveness.
I have listened to many preachers claim that all those who are not saved at the time of their death, will go to hell. Many also adamantly claim the unsaved will burn in hell forever. I do not believe it. The wages of sin is death. There is also mention of the second death following the final judgment. Eternal hell fire is reserved for Satan, and the false prophet.
If the unsaved went to hell and burned for the rest of eternity, it would not be described as a second death. There is nothing whatsoever to indicate those who face the second death, will have eternal life. They may be eternally damned, in that they no longer exist, but they will not be burning in hell for all eternity.
What actually happens to the wicked? There are multiple attempts prior to the return of Christ to get them to repent. If they do not repent, they are kept alive longer, and punished more.
Finally, at the time of Christ’s return, the angels gather up the people, and sort them out. There is a temporary ending for the wicked who are still alive. The Bible says they do not live again for a thousand years. During this time, the Christians rule with Christ, enjoying a time of peace and prosperity on earth.
What is hell like? Hell or Hades is a holding place for the dead. Although I am not sure, I think it depends on the degree of wickedness within a person. Each may go to locations with the same kind of people as they are. There are various locations, and circumstances waiting for people in the underworld. Some will have more torment than others.
Sort of like the difference between a maximum security prison, and a minimum security prison. It might be noisy. It might be hot. There might be demons roaming around. Who knows for sure, but it is not likely to be a pleasant place for those who have been truly wicked.
In a sense, the wicked, along with the unsaved who may not be as wicked, all go to some kind of prison to await the final judgment day. When the final judgement day comes, and I know this is a controversial topic with many concepts of eternal damnation. But in my opinion, based on what I have read, the Bible does not completely close the door on salvation for some of the people in Hades.
The reason I believe it might be possible for some people to be saved at this stage, is because of the description of the resurrection of the dead after the thousand years. It says they are judged according to their deeds. It goes on to say, those who are not found in the Lamb’s book of life, will face the second death. Why would it say that if there was not a possibility for some of the people to be saved during the final judgment?
For certain, only God knows this answer, and it is Christ who passes judgment during the resurrection of the dead. Regardless of what we think, we do not decide who is in the book of life. I certainly believe after a thousand years in prison, some of the people may be truly repentant. I also think many who are unsaved, did not live a life of wickedness, deception and cruelty, but for whatever reasons, chose to be atheist, or were deceived by another doctrine. Many people have turned away from God because of the conduct and cruelty of those who pretend to be Christians.
We are saved by the grace of God, and not by works. But after death, the unsaved are judged according to their works. What does this mean? Does it mean each one gets a different ferocity of punishment before going into the lake of fire? If they did not do terrible evil, and if they repent with complete sincerity when they stand before the great judgment throne of Christ – can they still be saved? I think it is plausible. Christ is merciful.
Another reason I believe it is possible for Christ to forgive some people following the thousand year reign, when the dead in Hades are resurrected to be judged, is something to consider. The fact the new world ushered in after the final judgment, will have no sea, means there will be much more room. After all, the sea covers 70% of the earth.
The birth of Christ, is also about the Revelation and return of Christ. It is the most incredible event in all of the history of the world, in the present, the past, and the future.
Therefore the true Revelation and birth of Christ, to include his return to this earth to overcome death for all those who believe and trust in him – is the greatest gift, and the most awesome miracle we could ever dream of. He holds the keys to eternal life.
We make so many mistakes during our lifetimes, and yet we are given another chance. God worked out a plan for us to be saved by His only begotten son Jesus Christ.
We live only a short period of time, in the overall scheme of things, during the period of time we are alive on this earth in our carnal state. And for some, the regrets are going to be astronomical when they realize what they have done, and what they are going to miss.
No one will escape the realization that Christ is Lord. No one will be able to deny it, not even Satan himself. Those who deceive, kill, cause harm, take advantage of the weak and the poor, treat others with cruelty and shunning, and most of all – those who manipulate or corrupt others to carry out the harm – will be very sorry one day. For those people, when they die, it will be too late. For they will be judged according to their deeds.
We are called upon to repent, believe in Jesus, and change. John the Baptist brought this message to the world before Christ was born. It is a message, and warning repeated all throughout the Bible. We are given the instruction manual.
The birth, death, resurrection, and return of Christ contains a central message. Repent, and know the time is near. Believe in Christ, and in His resurrection, and he will bless us with eternal life in a world full of God’s goodness and love, just as it was in the garden of Eden before the fall of man.
This is what gives us hope, regardless of what kind of catastrophic events happen in the coming months and years. The birth of Christ is also the Revelation of Christ, in the complete fullness of His power and glory. Amen.
This is a topic that I have much experience with, and absolutely detest the deception, and oppression that revolves around such psychologically abusive tactics. I had the misfortune of having a high school teacher, who seized control of my life six months before I graduated from high school.
He was able to carry this out because I had no parental protection, and was graduating early. I did have concrete plans of going to University because I knew my education had to be paid for until I turned eighteen. I also had a powerful older brother who had constantly attacked and abused me as a child. The teacher and big brother were in cahoots.
The teacher began the scheme by having me cut from the cheerleading squad, so I would play basketball. It was a very small school in central Alberta, so we did not have many options when it came to sports, and other activities. He was the basketball coach and wanted more exposure to me. I was kind of creeped out by him right off the bat, but there was not much I could do. He was a big, brutish tough guy, very serious, very religious, and had a prolonged intimidating stare. He also lacked boundaries big time.
In fact, I remember having a discussion with other students about him. One of them said, “I feel like he knows every sin I ever did”. And then another student immediately piped up and said, “I feel like he knows every sin I ever thought about doing”.
One day shortly after I started playing basketball, he told me he and his wife were having a spaghetti dinner for the basketball team. When I showed up for dinner, I was the only one there. He duped me right off the bat. During the strange dinner party, I was subjected to his prolonged and frequent staring, like a bug under a microscope. I was very uncomfortable, but made polite small talk, and watched the clock until I could escape. In fact the clock watching, and hope to finally get free of him, became a lifelong pattern whenever I was around him. It was like the minutes ticked by, slowed to a stall. It was mind numbing and boring.
After I choked down the spaghetti, out of the blue he announced, “God told me to adopt you”. I said, “What!?” then I quickly added, “It’s too late. I am already pretty much grown up.” But little did I know this was the beginning of a lifelong devious scheme. He would not take no for an answer. Finally I said, “Does God talk to you out of the sky or the walls or what?” Then I tried another tact, and said, “Since it is my life, why wouldn’t God tell me too?”
After the introduction of his scheme, he started a campaign of coercion and brainwashing. He switched from saying God told him to adopt me to claiming, and announcing he was “legally adopting me”. He told everyone at school, including all the other teachers, he was in the process of going through a legal adoption. It was a brazen lie, but it went unchallenged for some reason.
I guess he thought a throwaway kid had no possible way of refuting him. He had all the power, God, my older brother, and the law on his side. So he had all the bases covered. Soon the lies included the wider community, and extended family. I would tell people it was completely bogus. Everyone knew I was not the teacher’s daughter. I repeatedly said no to his adoption claims. I thought it was absurd.
The authoritarian abuse of power was phenomenal. Once he established the first lie about a legal adoption, when clearly I was never up for adoption, he had himself “legally” covered to carry out the pretence of “wanting what was best for Valerie”. He did this in collusion with my older brother, so I was dominated by these brutish lies, no matter how I tried to stick handle this intrusive behaviour, before I could get out of town
He accelerated his behaviour to stalking, and following me around outside of school. He started telling people I was “emotionally disturbed” and “needed intervention”. In actual fact, I had accelerated through school, and passed with honours consistently. I also played all sports, and was president of the student’s union.
But the fact I have to feel defensive about his repeated lies and accusations is in itself, quite warped. It should not have mattered what I was doing. Even if I was emotionally disturbed, and out of control, it does not mean you should get stalked, forcibly confined, and forced into an adoption con by a high school teacher.
Since when do defiant teenagers get forcibly adopted by teachers? Isn’t that why schools have referrals? To make matters even worse, he was a brand new teacher, and in his twenties at the time. He literally acted like he thought he was god, and knew everything about everything. Why was he so obsessed with a sixteen year old girl? Did anyone ask him? Did anyone stop him? Did anyone protect me from such advances? No. It’s too bad.
No, unfortunately for me, they did not stop his aggression, and obsession to take control of my life. He should have been reported to the Alberta Teachers Association, and at the very least, relocated to another school. Kind of like relocating a predatory beast.
In my opinion, he should have lost his teacher’s license, for the fact he would not listen, no matter what anyone said. He should have been arrested for abduction because he forced me into a car, and then forcibly confined me for hours on end.
I know this teacher scenario raised many red flags for others in the community, because I heard all kinds of whispered comments, and gossip about it. I don’t think anyone really knew what to do, even though the predation was obvious, and the motives were highly questionable.
The lies were framed in such a way, if I said no to him, I was in defiance of authority. The proverbial bad girl. He was the daddy-god, and I really had no say in it at all. The choice was to either put up with it, or leave school and run for the hills. I was very motivated to finish school, and get a post-secondary education, so I endured what was a barrage of psychological torture.
He escalated from constantly staring and following me, to chasing me down at night outside of school, and forcing me into his car, to take me home with him for the night. He would yell “You get in that car, or I will STUFF you in that car”.
During the prolonged brainwashing sessions, he would not let me leave his house, until about five in the morning. Then he would stare at me the next day, as I went through the motions in school, exhausted, scared, and confused. He stared at me with feigned pity, like we shared some kind of warped secret. I tried to avoid looking at him, shrinking away as much as was humanly possible.
The all night brainwashing sessions, contained certain themes he repeated over and over ad nauseam. One of those central lying themes, surrounded his absolute assertions that our mother was wicked beyond salvation. He despised her, even though he did not even know her. He kept saying she did not deserve to be my mother.
He told me over and over, our mother was wicked, and not redeemable. In actual fact, I was the spitting image of our mother. From my earliest recollections, every farmer in the community, and anyone who saw us, would say as much. “Oh my goodness, that child looks just like her mother.”
Our mother’s name was Joy. Our Swedish grandmother nicknamed me Little Joy, when I was about two years old, or younger. It made the cruelty of those all night sessions even more abased and degrading. Why would anyone do such a thing? Especially under the guise of being a Christian, when the fifth Commandment tells us to honour our mother and father? I knew it was completely off-base, but I had no power to stop it.
In hindsight, I know this was a very abusive tactic to shame, and destabilize me to the core of my existence. But how could I know about such devious schemes at age sixteen? How could I know he was cultish, and not the least bit Christian? As a teacher, he used his religion like it was a police badge. It took years to unravel it all.
Another one of his brainwashing repetitions was that I had the “exact same” IQ as his wife. I found such a claim to be totally ridiculous. I asked him, “How is it even possible? I don’t think I have the same IQ from one day to the next, so how could it be exactly the same as her IQ? No one has the exact same IQ.” He fabricated this lie, because I had scored in the top percentile on IQ tests, and I was not going to be allowed to even own my own IQ. He owned it, not me, and he was determined to make sure I was put in, and kept in my place, as far as what I thought about it.
He would puff himself up and literally dare me to defy him. Then he would repeat what he just said, slowly, so I would be sure to get it. After awhile I started saying, “I don’t care what you think or say.” Again, according to him, I was being difficult, causing trouble, and had a defiance of authority.
He repeatedly and frequently added this doozy to his repertoire of lies: “We like to believe we have had you since you were about six years old.” How repulsive. I would think to myself, “Little do you know, you never had me at all. I don’t give a crap about what you like to believe. Go join the Moonies.”
Since when is a person cornered and trapped by some absurd fallacy that another person wants to believe? Madonna and numerous other celebrities, and other victims of stalkers, would be saddled with every kook in the universe, if this was the case.
To add to the dark confusion, he used multiple out of context Bible verses, and would read out verses to imply I was his special gift from God, and he alone (not God, but him), was called upon to save me from damnation and hell. Without him I was hopeless. I should have much gratitude for his role in my life. The only reprieve was compliance.
During one of those all night sessions alone with him in a darkened room, I decided to get up and make a beeline for the door. I got up and bolted for the exit. When I got to the small landing, he caught me by the arm before I could get the door open. He spun me around, so I accidentally kicked a metal lunch pail that was sitting at the top of the stairs, so it clattered down the stairs. This was at around 3 am. One would think his dutiful wife would have got out of bed to see what was going on. But she never did.
At that moment, I honestly thought he might assault or kill me. He growled, “You better not do that again. Don’t you ever even think about it”. Another time when he caught me outside of school, chasing me through the bush, he panted, “Don’t you try to get away. You will never get away, ’cause I will HUNT you down”. It was pitch black, and I had tripped over a log, so he caught me that time too.
I kept thinking I would get away from him when I graduated, but no such luck. He forced me into nursing, and then took credit for the fact I became a nurse. Our brother invited him to every family function. So the lying narrative never ended.
The lies followed me out of high school. The teacher acted like he babysat me in order to get me through nursing, so his pet project could be attributed to him. The truth can easily be proven. I went to school in Calgary after I left high school. Just like he had nothing to do with my academic inclinations in public school, he had nothing to do with me doing well in a post secondary setting. He was a hundred and eighty miles away for crying out loud. Once again, I got excellent marks and was on the President’s honour roll. I was just relieved to be able to go to school without him following me around.
I played basketball at Mount Royal University during those years, and met my husband while playing basketball. He was an all star athlete, and MVP. His athletic accomplishments, and record breaking achievements, had earned him all kinds of accolades, so he was kind of cocky. He was also a gentle, and kind person, thank goodness. His own mother was bipolar, so he immediately understood the difficulties surrounding such a family dynamic.
He was the tallest guy in the whole place, and I thought my problems with the teacher might be over. I remember when I first told him about the “wonderful Christian teacher”. I explained how everyone thought he was so wonderful, but he would often use force, like saying he would stuff me into his car. Paul just looked at me for a long moment, and then replied, “Not anymore, he ain’t.”
I felt overjoyed, and imagined the teacher getting stuffed through the hoops of oblivion. But even so, the wonderful teacher concept was so entrenched in my own family, we still could not get rid of him, without an all out war, and expulsion from the family.
So we kept it on the back burner, remained polite, and hoped it would resolve itself. It never did get resolved. We should have been adamant, and closed the door on the awful teacher chapter of our lives. We did not know Paul’s life would be cut short. We assumed we could just carry on, and try to keep the peace in the family, so we could have a normal life. In the years before he died, Paul never left me alone with the teacher for one second. He frankly told me, “I don’t like the way he looks at you.” Paul was a gifted musician, and would entertain them playing guitar. I honestly wished we would have never allowed them into our home.
How is it that I was so emotionally disturbed, I required aggressive intervention in grade twelve, and yet just months later, even though I was a hundred and eighty miles away from the perp, I managed just fine, without any intervention at all? The thing about lies, is they really make no sense. They do not add up. They blow apart under scrutiny like sand in a windstorm.
I thought and hoped, and prayed, maybe the two brutes would mellow over time. I have always had good verbal skills, so I thought, maybe I could somehow talk my way out of this absurd pseudo adoption plot, and unwanted relationship. It went on and on for years.
They never once listened or took no for an answer, no matter what I said. In fact, this little cabal, and the lies they conjured up became the construct of foundational lies that gave my brother his rise to power. Sooner or later, it will crumble.
Finally I went to the police. But by then my older brother had way too much power and influence. Initially, the police admitted there had been a serious wrongdoing, and agreed to investigate. But it did not take long for them to back pedal. The excuse given to me, was that it would be difficult to get the witness statements.
At least half the grade twelve class witnessed the teacher force me into a car. Not once, but several times. In fact, we posted a lookout at the bush parties, to yell out a warning when he showed up. Then all of us would scatter through the bush. But I was the one he was after, even though all of us were afraid of him. It was no secret he was totally obsessed with me.
The lies became a narrative entrenched into the family and the community. I tried everything from compliance to defiance, but nothing worked. He would threaten me with expulsion from my own family.
As a result of all these lies, I went through life with an oppressive wet blanket hanging over me, along with the slanderous, whispering gossip of needing intervention, and lifelong monitoring. Most people want to escape, or at least heal from a difficult childhood. But they saddled and scapegoated me, and would not let go of the lying narrative.
Over the years, the teacher sent me hundreds of “daughter cards.” Syrupy, glittering daughter cards, filled with out of context Bible verses he had selected from the fake John Darby Bible. I did not know for years, how cultish all of this was. I naively thought a Christian was a Christian.
The teacher and his wife were only slightly more than a decade older than me. Of course people would be surprised when they told them I was their daughter. They wondered how it came about. The teacher’s wife would gloat when people said, “Oh my, you don’t look old enough to be her mother!” Just like she would gloat when he insisted I had the “exact same IQ” as she did. There is nothing like taking glory and exaltation for lying. One day they will be judged for all their lies.
You would think if an older brother, and high school teacher set up such a scheme, insinuating I was mentally ill and deranged, when there was never any real evidence to support those lies, they would have been charitable and helpful. There was not a shred of compassion ever. They did not have the tiniest bit of empathy, and did not offer any support. Yet they are staunch church goers, and never miss a Sunday. Total hypocrites.
I graduated from nursing when I was nineteen, and started working from then on. They did not pay my way at all, ever. The teacher would come to my house and freeload. They were so cheap, they wouldn’t buy me a coffee without being able to use my house, my car, and command hours of my time catering to them. They used my home as their own personal west coast time share. They sent or invited their relatives to do the same. It was an incredible amount of work, like I was a domestic servant. They were so arrogant, they paraded around like I owed them my existence.
All this from people I did not even know. When the teacher started telling everyone I was his daughter, I barely knew the guy, and had spent very little time with his wife. When I graduated and moved away from my home town, I had spent less than ten hours around the teacher’s wife. How did she morph into mother superior? They had financial motives, beyond a doubt.
They were complete strangers. I never went and stayed at their house. They came and took over mine, and no one else was paying my bills. It was all payback for his invasive and intrusive brainwashing during my final semester of grade twelve. I felt like a dog on a leash, a fund raising mascot, a bird in a cage, being lied about and tied indefinitely to an abusive past.
It is a very long story, and is not over with to this day. But one thing it has taught me, is how pervasive and widespread a false narrative can become. For many years I would have to endure visits, and twenty years later he would stare at me just as he did when I was in grade twelve, and say I was his daughter, our mother was wicked, and I had the exact same IQ as his wife. I found it to be overwhelmingly repulsive to the core. But I could hardly physically pick this guy up and throw him out of my house. And even if I could, I would have the wrath of big brother to deal with in no time flat.
Finally I terminated the relationship, after their final visit when I was living on Haida Gwaii. I knew intuitively I would never be able to tell him to F Off and get out of my house, in person. I always believed he could be violent. He was violent as a teacher. He was keen to yell orders, bellow at students, give straps (before they banned such assaults), and physically manhandled students when he got the opportunity. His proclivity for violence stuck with me in the following years, so I was always meek and polite around him.
During the final visit, I had many other visitors, like my own family members, and friends who I did want to be there. The teacher, his wife and their relatives, literally took over my entire house. In addition, they had such an extreme sense of entitlement and rudeness, they would tell people, including myself, to shhhh when we talked.
They acted like they were some kind of royalty, and deserved to be worshipped. They still carried the pious holier than thou mentality, and also the supreme authority they had established years prior to this when I was in high school. I was still under the schoolmaster’s rule. The excessive demands were part of the sickening bondage, and entrapment I had been forced into.
They had promised the teacher’s niece in Alberta enough free fish for her wedding, which was just a month or so later. But rather than book a fishing charter themselves to go out and catch the fish, they expected me to provide the fish free of charge, and pack it up, then fly it to Alberta myself. I told them, “No, I do not have a freezer full of fish to give you.” Once again, they made promises on my behalf, without even consulting with me.
The entire week was filled with constant harassment over the fish. They had promised I would bring the fish, and therefore it was a battle of wills, to force me to agree to it, and make a commitment to attend the wedding with the fish in tow. All this just for an invitation to the wedding, and a gushing pat on the head. They were too cheap to book a charter, yet they expected me to foot the bill for all the fish.
Once again, these were people I hardly knew. The cost of such a demand was thousands of dollars. Plus it involved hauling huge boxes of frozen fish to the airport on Haida Gwaii, which was a ferry ride, and a forty minute drive to get there. Then you had to worry about changing planes with no delays, so it would not start to thaw. It was totally unreasonable to expect anyone to do so, let alone a single mother.
In spite of the fact I repeatedly said no, and would not commit to taking fish to Alberta, they would not let up for a moment. At least six to ten times each day, they brought it up, and told me they were not leaving without a commitment from me to provide the fish. Each time I refused, they clenched their jaws, and would go into the bedroom to drum up another approach. It created a great deal of stress for me. I was tapped out, and run off my feet as it was, and with them, it was just never enough.
They demanded more than what I could give. It was a form of extortion, and was the last straw for me. Saying no to the fish was exactly like saying no to the adoption. They flat out refused to take no for an answer. I remember saying to my sister, “I feel like I am the fish they baited and reeled in long ago. A fish named Valerie.” I wondered when the bonk on the head, or the gaffe/gaff would finally end. I knew I had to end it, come hell or high water, once and for all. I had grown up on a farm in poverty. The last thing any person would even dream of doing, is demanding a farmer’s calf or beef without payment. It was an outrageous demand.
When they were finally getting ready to leave, I sat on the couch and watched the minutes tick by on the big clock on the wall. It had a second hand, so every time it went around, I vowed to myself that I would not spend one more minute with these people. I did not want to make a scene, so I just sat and watched the clock. The ferry was due at 2 pm. It seemed to take forever for them to pack up and leave. In spite of the tension, they did not believe for one second that I would terminate the relationship. They thought they had me locked in, no matter what they did.
By this time, the teacher and his wife were both retiring, so another bombshell they dropped, was how excited they were to come and spend months on end with me in my lovely home. I was gobsmacked. I could barely get through a week with them visiting. It was so oppressive, I tried to go down and book extra shifts at the hospital. I would take the garbage out, and come back an hour or two later, just to get away from them. If I said I was going out for a walk, they immediately got their coats on, and joined me. She was watching my every move, to include what I ate, and what I talked about.
The last conversation I had with the teacher’s wife, she told me in graphic detail, how she had drowned the family cat in the rain barrel. She had just retired, and told me she had gone through expired medications in the small facility where she had worked. She took home the extra Valium and various other drugs. She injected the cat with Valium. It was an extra large cat, and family pet, with some annoying habits, so she decided to off the cat. Why not just take it to the vet or the SPCA?
Instead, she donned thick winter clothing, and long gauntlet gloves, and then proceeded to drown the cat in the rain barrel. She was shocked at how difficult it was, because she did not expect it to fight back as hard as it did.
I could feel the colour draining out of my face, when she told me this story. I was mortified. I felt like I was going to be ill. I asked her if there had been any children around to witness this, because they did have young grandchildren. I could not imagine doing such a thing to an animal, but once again, this was part of their ongoing pattern of behaviour. It seemed they liked to punish, and create living sacrifices. Each time they killed a pet, it was because it had annoyed them, and become a nuisance. Kind of like I was annoying them.
After the final visit, I sent them an email, and told them it was OVER and there was no way I was going to be attending the wedding, let alone bringing fish. By then, nothing was going to change my mind. They made it clear they were planning on spending more and more time with me, not less. So I finally balked and resisted, as a matter of my own survival. They still would not take no for an answer. In fact, a week or so later, the teacher’s sister called me, and tried to make cheery small talk. Then she had the gall to ask me when I would be arriving with the fish for the wedding.
I told her I had made it crystal clear – I would not be attending the wedding. Then she wailed, “But Valerie, what about the FISH!” I could hardly believe it. I told her I had company for dinner, and was not able to discuss it any further. The teacher had manipulated his sister, to try and get the fish out of me. Clearly, I had been far too nice to these imposters throughout my life. They were beyond dense.
Of course I never got any support from my brother over it all. He sided with them, not me. So from then on, it has been a series of punishment, and endless pressure to resume the relationship. His wrath became front and centre just as it had been when we were kids on the farm. They contacted everyone I knew, and told them something was seriously wrong with me. I was mentally ill for the way I had treated these “wonderful Christians.”
By the time I made this decision, I was angry. It was like the flight or fight response was cursing through my veins. All that mattered was getting rid of the teacher and the lies. He had taken over my identity. He continually dared me to defy his all encompassing authority, long after I left school. He never changed his tactics, although he pretended to be a decent Christian person. But his actions and attitude spoke volumes. He never changed one bit over the years. My older brother never changed his stripes either.
This teacher saga is not over. Once I adamantly refused to comply, my older brother kicked in with his wrath, and a range of manipulative and abusive tactics. The phase of punishment and shunning began soon after the teacher relationship was terminated. They will not give up the pack of lies, no matter how obvious and provable.
Do people really think conspiracy theories are nonsense? I can assure they are not. My brother and the teacher had a full plan for my entire life, without even consulting me. They included multiple other people in this plot of control, and manipulated it to no end. They know how to motivate others with perks. Compliance with the plot, was the one and only thing that won our wrathful, older brother’s approval. Anyone who wanted a perk, just had to buy into the plot.
Now I recognize all the mind control, and thought reform methods used by such characters. I am older, and wiser. The longer foundational lies go on, the more ingrained they become, and the more others buy into those lies to increase the entrapment.
My advice is to heed the early red flags. In hindsight I should have screamed blue murder, and gone to the police immediately. But in the absence of such drama, do not be dominated or suckered into plots and schemes. Once entrenched, they are very difficult to get out of.
I know I am fortunate compared to countless other female victims. I have watched enough true crime shows to know many women are murdered, and discarded like trash. Indeed, the essence of such assaults and psychological torture, is to dominate and control through fear, shaming, and deception. Oftentimes, they have you trapped before you even realize what is happening.
We must learn to trust our intuition. The objective of thought reform, is to make you doubt your own perceptions and judgement. Once they achieve that goal, they have control over you. In some cases, they want to destroy you body and soul. Our soul consists of our mind, will an emotions.
Anyone who tries to destroy the soul of another person, is wicked to the core. I survived the aftermath and struggles foisted upon me by such a diabolical plot, only by the grace of God. Thought reform and brainwashing is designed to destabilize us, and doubt our own perceptions. It generates a deep-rooted shame, and fear, sort of like being torn out by the roots. There is constant cognitive dissonance, like putting a tin bucket over your head in a hail storm. He was clearly trying to drive me mad. Each time I pleaded to get free of it all, I was condemned by my own family, thanks to my older brother’s abuse of power.
To make matters worse, each time the bulk of his attack on my cognition, happened right after the death of a close family member. When I was in grade twelve and all of this started, my younger brother had just been killed in a car accident. Vulnerability is seen as opportunity for predators. It was crippling. It locks your soul into solitary confinement, and complete hopelessness, like drowning without an ending.
After I was married, I had a layer of protection for several years. But we still felt obliged to be polite to these people, just to keep the peace in the family. When I was in my mid-thirties, my husband was killed in an accident, and the teacher plot swelled into a full out onslaught all over again.
They choose the most vulnerable times of your life, to pummel you with their deceptive agenda. It was bleak like nothing you could ever imagine. If anyone wants to know what hell on earth is, these cultish personalities manage to inflict it on you without mercy.
In hindsight, I see many parallels the teacher used to mimic Christianity. He insisted I was somehow reborn to him. I was born into my own family, and the only other time we are reborn is to Christ, not to a cult. He falsely claimed I was adopted by them, yet God tells Christians we are adopted into the family of God. He insisted our mother was not redeemable, when God makes it very clear – people do not decide who is redeemable, and who is not redeemable. He pretended he was my saviour, when clearly he was the opposite. He never admitted to having any sin in his own life, yet Christ made it clear, we are all sinners. He took over my identity when as Christians, our identity is in Christ.
The central theme was that I must buy into their adoption con, or I would not only be rejected by my own family, and accused of being wicked and mentally ill, with no one to believe or support me. But more ominously, I would be rejected by God, and punished until I came to my senses. So If I did get away, just as he promised when I was in high school, he was going to hunt me down, and play the role of his false god doing the punishing, in order to force me back into their diabolical plot. They would never take no for an answer, no matter what.
The provable truth is that I have never been treated for, or hospitalized, or required to take medication for a mental illness in my entire life. In fact, no one in Canada can be forced into a mental health diagnosis or treatment without a court order. A person has to have multiple brushes with the law, or present a danger to themselves or others, usually requiring hospitalization, before there can be any justification to such accusations.
We are all assumed to be sane, unless proven otherwise. To use it as a threat or a con, or a punishment, is against the law. Yet they have used this false accusation and defamatory nonsense as a fundamental threat primarily because I was a gifted student, and my brother, clearly – was not. Neither was the teacher or his wife academically gifted.
I realize an IQ is not something to boast about, because we have nothing to do with what God given traits we end up with. It is not much different than eye colour or height. There will always be people who are smarter, and to God, we are foolish a good percentage of the time. I certainly recognize my own foolishness in hindsight. We all need to repent, myself included, and our IQ has little to do with it.
Our mind is to supposed to be focused on Christ, for renewal and guidance. Whatever gifts we might have been given, are also not intended to be a topic of constant punishment and attack. It has been difficult to overcome the resentment I feel, for becoming a target for lifelong abuse by a teacher, just for being a motivated student. School should be a safe place, not a place where you get saddled with a lifelong tormenter. I actually tried to view him as a superior human being for awhile. I was the inferior one by far. But no matter how I viewed him and the entire con, I found it to be painful and horribly abusive. It was a trap with no way out.
As far as our lineage, and being robbed of it by a lying pseudo-Christian teacher, the Bible is full of who begat who. It describes the seed of each and every generation, as well of the progression of events proceeding from the generations since the beginning of time. We do not suddenly become the seed of another genealogy. Our ancestry, lineage, and the seed from which we came from, is clearly not something to be messed with, and lied about. I had to get free of the lies and bondage, for the sake of the future generations within my own family. I had to find a way to become secure in my own identity, and not filled with condemnation for who I am.
The teacher and his wife were so far removed from my own ancestry, it is beyond belief how they thought they could pull something like that off in the first place. To me, it was like their spirits were deadened. They had no spark. Without a doubt, the truth was not in them, and the best I can do is pray they repent, and stop the destructive influence and stronghold they developed in my own family. For what? Greed? The devil? Intentionally inflicting pain for sadistic pleasure? Who knows for sure. They turned me into an outcast in my own family.
The damage they did spans my own lifetime, and more than one generation. Yet, they have their own family, their own children, grandchildren, siblings, and ancestry. No one meddled with their right to be members of their own family. I stayed out of their family dynamic, even though at times I felt like contacting their family members to tell them the truth. I could never understand why on earth would they be so relentlessly determined to insert themselves into, infiltrate, and spread falsehoods into another family, completely unrelated to them.
All things about this plot were not only steeped in lies, but also in marginalizing, scapegoating, and sacrificing me. When Satanic forces latch onto a victim, they not only want to destroy your life on earth, they are determined to sacrifice you for all eternity. I was no different than an animal or stray dog to them, except the rewards to them are even greater if they can destroy the soul of a human being.
They may as well don horns and a long tail, instead of piously sitting there puffed up with arrogance, in their convoluted and compounded darkness. After all, the great war between good and evil, is about the destruction and sacrifice of souls. We are only delivered from such a diabolical plot by the grace of God. It is truly an example of the snare of the fowler.
Before I met Paul, they tried to force me to sign adoption papers when I turned eighteen. To this day, I am so grateful I flatly refused, even though they had all the paperwork, newspaper announcements and what not. They literally had me backed up against the wall, giving me orders to sign those papers, RIGHT NOW! Similar to the fish episode on Haida Gwaii, they were not leaving until I signed those papers. Thankfully my college roommate came home in the midst of all this, and was perplexed and alarmed. The teacher and his wife had to drop it, or she might have called the police.
Another time, when I was still single, living in a big house with a group of other University students, they showed up to take me somewhere, and flatly refused to leave, even though I was hiding out in one of the bedrooms. First they came inside, and sat in the living room, looking miserable, stubbornly refusing to budge. One of the older, and more assertive young women in the house, realized I had no desire to go anywhere with them, so she ordered them to leave.
After this confrontation, they went out and sat in their car in the driveway, blocking it, so on one could come or go. In that case, I felt so bad for the trouble they were causing everyone else in the house, I eventually came out and went with them.
One of the other students who lived there had a job to go to, and they were parked behind her car, blocking her in. We should have called the police. There were so many missed opportunities to get the police involved in those early years. The only reason there was hesitancy to call the police, was because of my older brother, and my own family, and the framework they created to turn this teacher into some kind of deity. My life would have been so much better without him. But I thank God every day, for seeing the light of the day in spite of them.
They lied and did so much gaslighting over the years, I actually believed they had forged my signature, and filed a fraudulent adoption. In later years, I wrote to the Ministry in Alberta for clarification on this, and they told me “No, adoption papers were not filed.”
It was nothing but a pack of lies, shamelessly repeated over and over again. The teacher was an offspring of the father of lies, not God the father. Only God and Satan know the truth depth of his ulterior motives. Because to this day, I do not fully understand why anyone would do such a thing, over such a long period of time, with an absolute refusal to back down. They still will not stop it, and believe I should be punished for rejecting them, when I should never have been subjected to such a plot in the first place. He was a corrupt, power abusing teacher in a hick town public school in central Alberta. That’s it. That’s all. I only wish I could have left him behind, as we do with most of our teachers.
Now that I have had the opportunity to see things on a bigger and wider scale, there is no doubt, we have been under a deceptive fear campaign in countless other ways. They mock us, make false accusations, gang up on us, gaslight, punish, coerce, shame, and push their agenda with a grim reaper’s type of determination and coercion.
Our mother died in 2007, and I was fortunate to see her right before she died. She had accepted Christ years prior to her death. She was radiant and not afraid. She told me she had already walked on the road with Jesus. After her death, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the phenomenal and destructive lies I had been subjected to.
All I want, and all I have asked of my family members is to drop this teacher adoption plot once and for all. That means to drop it without the constant punishment, false accusations, and condemnation. But because of my older brother, this request is not granted. So it goes on and on and on. What does he have to gain by continuing it? I have no idea what is causing him to cling to it like he has. It makes no sense. His power and money places him in the 1% so he has all the worldly influence. He gives the orders.
All I can say in the face of such adversity is stand firm. The devil wants to destroy our mind, heart, and soul. Always remember. No means no. They did not win, and they will not win. They are the delusional ones. Truth is truth. Lies are delusional. They are so primitive, they do not even know the basics. The teacher is little more than chaff in the wind. He thought he had me – but he never did.
The original post below was written in December 2022. Since then the Etsy organization has been adversely affected by the Silicone Bank failure, which has ties to the various Etsy stores as far as payments are concerned. This places the sellers at increased risk, and has fuelled speculation.
However, many seem to be flexible, and are putting stores in vacation mode, or switching to independent online stores. I can only imagine how stressful it must be for those who have invested a significant amount of time, and money into their small businesses. I wish them all the best, and hope the financial pressure, and uncertainty gets resolved soon. It does sound like some of the information has been hyperbole, since various articles claim the Silicon Bank failure affected less than 1% of the stores.
The December 2022 post starts here:
First and foremost I want to say that I am not a financial forecaster. Nor am I an accountant, therefore my observations are purely speculative.
I did not give much thought to it before, but given that I do a fair bit of research on product pricing, from high end to low end, I am familiar with their advertising, prices, listings, and claims. I have also seen many news articles, forum comments, and other complaints against the organization in recent months.
From the sellers perspective, they have tried to unionize and have actually gone on strike. In the spring of 2022, 47,000 sellers signed a petition citing unfair treatment and seller’s fees. They also filed a change.org petition that garnered over 25,000 signatures. Another information snippet places the boycott at over 82,000, 29,000 who claim to be Etsy sellers. These things most certainly do not look good for the organization.
From the consumer perspective, Etsy has many cases of fraud and counterfeit goods being sold. There are numerous online consumer reports claiming they ordered items, and did not receive them. In addition, they could net get any results or response when they attempted to get their money back.
Hundreds, if not thousands of other companies who built their businesses on the Etsy platform have suddenly been shut down. In those cases, the companies are claiming they did not receive notice, and could not get an answer when they tried to find out what the reasons are.
It looks like troubling times are happening, not only due to covid and inflation, but also for many other reasons. Etsy is an American company that was founded in 2005. They did an IPO in 2015. The corporate advertising claims they sell vintage, individual artisan handmade items, and craft supplies.
I researched some of their top sellers, one of which is a jewelry design company, a mom and pop organization that claims to sell over 100K per month. This to me raises an immediate red flag. If you examine the jewelry, you know darn well it is not made by hand, by a small cottage industry, or home based business. When you read their success story, there is very little information, other than scanty very superficial romanticized designer information.
I do not make jewelry or even repair jewelry, but I do collect it, do macro photography, and have looked at thousands, and thousands of different jewelry designs over the years. I can usually tell when something is hand made, and can tell if something is vintage. If something is mass produced in Asia, there are also many telltale signs. One sign is the low price. If a company sells individually made pieces at a price range between $30 – $50, it is quite amazing, assuming they are hand cutting diamonds, as well as creating their own settings. The old adage stands firm, if it sounds too good to be true – it probably is not true.
The reasons I personally do not believe a micro-enterprise that sells jewelry, can cut and set small diamonds, make many chains, and various metal lettering that requires die casting, expertise, and machination, is because these items look just like what you see on Amazon or Alibaba. In addition, when the company describes their success, it is all about how busy they are packaging and sending their jewelry, not about making it. Plus how can a small company make that much jewelry in a month? You have to sell a lot of jewelry at that price point, to make 100K in one month.
Just like the sellers who got shut down suddenly, and without being given a reason, deserve answers – so do the shareholders, consumers, and other sellers deserve some answers. The remaining sellers who are honestly struggling to survive, as well as consumers who think they are getting handmade one-of-a-kind products, deserve answers. This is especially so when what appears to be happening, goes against the grain of their original marketing plan. It certainly does look like they are allowing the high volume sellers to continue, with mass produced product, and numbers that do not ring true.
So why does Etsy allow what appears to be a mass produced product to thrive, when they claim they are ONLY promoting vintage, and handmade artisan items from small grassroots organizations? Yet they are shutting down other Etsy sellers left and right. Clearly, they are allowing the high volume, mass produced sales to go through, without shutting that company down for not meeting the criteria they themselves have set. Why? Because they are making money for the shareholders, so it is much easier to let that slip through the criteria cracks than it is for those who are not making high volume sales.
If a company is selling 100K a month worth of product, at an average price of $30, that means they are selling on average 110 items per day. They would also have to be making 110 items per day, or they would soon run out of product.
How is it possible for a small micro-enterprise to make, and sell 110 unique, hand crafted products per day? They are busy shipping, with absolutely no mention of the manufacturing process involved, to keep up with such demands. Plus it takes many years of training, practice, and experience to cut diamonds, and fit them perfectly into settings. The same with all the silver and metal chains. Are they making those by hand too? A retired jewelry maker in Vancouver sold me a 1920’s chain a few years ago, and told me it took a full day to make one inch.
The creation of this type of jewelry, is not like putting a bead on a string. And in my opinion, that is what you would have to do, in order to sell that many jewelry items a day, and keep up with production, shipping, and other demands of running the business. I know of experienced jewelry makers on Haida Gwaii, who spent days making a single item. You know if something is made by a true artisan. At least you soon figure it out, if you pay attention.
Another Etsy organization I read about that did get shut down, claimed they had made hundreds of thousands of sales over a ten year period. Hundreds of thousands, is a lot of sales for a small company sewing fabric flowers on cushions. If you assume hundreds of thousands to be say, 500,000 divided by ten, that would mean they were selling 50,000 items per year, which is over 4000 per month. That is not a typical sales volume for a hand crafted product.
After the store got shut down on Etsy, they set up a standalone web shop. Although I cannot tell if the items are hand sewn or not, they only have around a hundred products to sell, all of which use the same flower design. Once again, it does not ring true, or seem possible that they sold hundreds of thousands of cushions, each with a fabric flower on it. They do not have any notable branding. They have a very small product line, with some wall hangings that have the exact same flower as is on the cushions. That’s it.
So, from both a consumer, and a seller’s perspective, there seems to be some glaring discrepancies that just don’t add up. I recall when Etsy was brand new back in 2005, and do believe the concept was solid to begin with. It brought many small craft people into the marketplace with some very nice handmade products. It was also a great place to find good deals on unique, one-of-a-kind items.
Like so many things, it started out fine, but something has happened over the years to pull it down. It is no longer the trustworthy organization it once was. To have such a scale of disgruntled sellers, and consumers, is not a good sign, regardless of what the stock market is predicting to try and keep it afloat.
Etsy does a phenomenal amount of advertising. Every item, every designer, and every bit of research I do, pulls up hundreds of Etsy ads. This might help explain why they are increasing seller’s fees to the point of revolt. I have never been inclined to sell on Etsy because I knew the organization would have control, not me. I also did not like the looks of many of the stores, in particular, the photography.
But clearly, many of the sellers are legitimate, hardworking people who deserve to build a successful business, and it does appear the organization started out that way. Another unverified bit of insight I read while researching this, is that almost half of Etsy sellers make less than $100 per year. That too, is not a good sign, especially when you consider the amount of advertising they do. No control and no sales, does not make for an attractive business model.
The decline appears to have started after they did the IPO in 2015. The shares grew rapidly, and all was well. For awhile. But a quick review of how much their debt increased shows an increase in debt of 147% in 2019. In 2020 there was a 32% increase, and in 2021, there was an increase of 115%
As I said, I am not a stock market guru by any stretch. But in my opinion, it is the increase in debt that is causing the increase in seller’s fees. This in turn, has caused financial hardship for those who are putting time, money, and energy into creating their own products, in addition to doing the photography, descriptions, etc.
Even though the investors information is not yet predicting a high probability of bankruptcy, one can draw their own conclusions. With the high rate of inflation, and the downturn in all retail sales, can they wait it out? Can they turn things around when they have a growing trend of disgruntled sellers, unhappy consumers, and increasing debt? And what are they going to do about mass produced high volume sales, when they claim to be niche market, which is just the opposite? It does not look good.
One of the reasons I find this to be very interesting, is because of the whole long tail niche marketing concept central to my own long haul in developing the Quiet West website, and vintage product line.
High volume, mass produced items are at the head of the tail. Those are the products you buy at Amazon, and various other large scale department stores. To explain the head of the tail, it means they sell mass produced items, and sell them cheap, in high volumes.
Whereas in the niche market businesses, we sell one-of-a-kind items that cannot be purchased in large volumes. When I embarked on this project, selling individual and unique items, my theory was that in order to develop a strong footprint and online presence, as a long tail marketing concept – you have to have a high volume of niche market items, or no one will ever notice you. Basically, it is the polarized opposite, or the flip side of the coin between the head of the tail, and the long tail, on the other side.
My theory is that by putting in the upfront efforts, in creating a long tail, it will attract those who want to find unique one-of-a-kind quality items, that you cannot find at Amazon or Walmart. It also appeals to the sustainable development, and environmentally positive contribution to business development.
This old world has developed and created billions of products over the years. With the new millennium, and rise in fast fashion, it became all about turning a fast buck, as opposed to creating high quality, well-crafted items that cost much more to produce.
Although Etsy might be able to hang in there, and make the required changes to stay afloat, in my opinion it is not looking good. For those who have put in a significant amount of time and effort building a small online business with Etsy, they are in a very precarious position. Etsy owns them. They own their customer lists. They can shut them down, without even giving an explanation. That is a huge blow for any entrepreneur. It also must create a significant amount of fear and trepidation for those who are still functioning.
Times are changing. E-Commerce is not going to go away, unless there is a complete collapse of civilization. But the next couple of years will be an unstable time for many retail organizations, both online and offline.
I cannot boast about any big success stories yet, as I just tentatively opened right before the covid fiasco. In addition, I still have plenty of work to do, to get all the information documented on the products. I have made many International sales, but honestly cannot make any wild exaggerations.
One thing I will say, is that if anyone contacts me with a question about a product, I will reply promptly. I would never ignore a customer. In addition, once an item is sold, I consider the customer to be the owner of the item, and aim to get it out to them ASAP. If there are delays involved with dry cleaning or shipping, I will communicate that to the customer up front.
I certainly do not have all the answers, other than to put energy into building a solid foundation, keep the debt to a minimum, and wait it out. I also believe as time goes on, more and more people will appreciate a micro-enterprise that is responsive, prompt, and honest. It is very important to me, to keep customers happy. A long tail niche market store requires a great deal in upfront time and investment. Normally, these are things that create long lasting value, and a solid foundation.
One good thing to note, is tangible products do not go up in vapour, like many stock market investments do. In a sense, a collection of vintage design, is like a long term penny stock investment, only the products are tangible, so if they go up in value over the years, the return should be reasonably good.
My interest to a large extent revolves around creativity, improving the photography, learning about web development, and motifs, design and patterns. I appreciate the workmanship done by other people over the decades, and believe many of these things should be documented for design schools, and for the historical, and cultural representations they bring from the different eras and locations.
Of course I love to find and promote mid-century Canadian designers, because of a sense of awe in what came out of Montreal during those peak creative years, and the fact I am Canadian. In recent years, we have had such a huge influx of fast fashion made in China, it made me even more determined to collect and document the remnants of design, and quality fashion, that came from locations other than China.
Who knows what the future will bring? One thing I can say without making exaggerations – is that I have visitors from all over the world, with the exception of Greenland. Most of the Quiet West visitors are from North America, followed by the UK, Australia, France, Germany, Sweden, France, Italy, and Japan – as the top visitors on the site.
Overall, the number of locations that have visited Quiet West since I set up Google analytics, is between 167-169 countries. Understandably, there are a few countries in Africa without visitors, probably because they do not have an Internet connection. But to my surprise, I have had visitors from more than half the countries in Africa. I have not bought a single ad so far. I used to have the social media buttons, but took them off. I really don’t know how people find my website. I no longer have a Facebook account, and do not use Twitter or Instagram either. Once I am ready, I will officially launch the store, and use those marketing avenues.
One added bonus, is that I am getting a global geography lesson!
So – many thanks to all the visitors from faraway places. It does provide a connection to locations I would not otherwise even know about, and vice versa. I have the security of knowing I will not get shut down on someone’s whim. When you use open source to build an online store, you own the architecture of your store. I once read, it is like the difference between owning and leasing. I do not like the concept of having the rug pulled out from under me, after so much time and money has been invested.
The communication and sharing, knowing people are visiting, and followers are taking an interest, help to keep us going when times get tough. All things we do, create a form of cultural representation and outreach. I think art, culture, and design gives us common ground. Every culture, and every era, has created artistically beautiful things. It gives us a chance to peruse, and appreciate these things, albeit from a distance.
I would not discourage any person from setting up an online store. In fact, I think it is a good idea, in spite of the hurdles. But I would caution people to use open source software, and to learn how to do basic online publishing and photography, so the efforts are not in vain. And then hope and pray – the law of attraction will come your way!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Mental illness has a wide range of definitions, from personality disorders, to depression, anxiety and psychosis. Personality disorders, since they are part of the basic personality, show up early in life. Things like conduct disorder, truancy, a lack of empathy toward others, a disregard for the rights of others, juvenile delinquency, lack of impulse control, etc. are some of the early signs of a personality disorder.
When it comes to personality disorders, if it does not show up early in life, the person probably does not have a personality disorder. Those who do have personality disorders will be in constant trouble at school, and at home. They will often drop out of school at an early age, have multiple discipline problems, fight with, and attack other children, run away from home, steal, and go from early childhood conduct disorder, to full blown juvenile delinquency, and trouble with the law.
In other types of personality disorders, such as BPD, the person will have poor impulse control leading to things like dropping out of school, or having multiple partners. They might get married on a whim, or move in with someone a week after knowing them. They too, will often have trouble with the law at an early age.
One of the key features of this disorder is highly manipulative behaviours, often with aggression or incredible persistence in getting what they want. I recall one woman with this diagnosis in a small mental health facility, and she was one of the most difficult people I have ever come across. She had been a forensic patient for several years. Prior to admission she stabbed members of her own family, and then as a psych patient, stabbed another patient. This is an extreme example, because most people with psychiatric disorders are not violent. Those who are violent though, can be very dangerous and unpredictable.
Another feature of those with BPD, they often dramatically, and frequently change their appearance. These changes in appearance can be anything from shaving one’s head, to multiple tattoos, excessive plastic surgery, etc.
Or it may manifest outwardly by cultural type shifts, like going from a goth or punk look, to becoming a jock or a cowboy. There is no rhyme or reason to it, because theoretically, the person is not comfortable in their own skin. So they try multiple different looks.
I think this must be quite stressful for people. Of course it is common for people, especially teenagers, to experiment with different looks, without having BPD. But if it becomes excessive, and is in conjunction with other symptoms, it has to be a difficult life to lead. If we rely solely on outward appearances, we will never find complete satisfaction, self awareness, or peace of mind. We are merely changing the layers, over top of who we really are. Image is important, but it is not everything.
Schizophrenia is something that gets diagnosed and treated by a psychiatrist, because often the person has completely lost touch with reality. The cause could be secondary to hard drugs like crystal meth, or vulnerabilities to other drugs like cannabis use. From the years I worked in mental health, it seems the person with schizophrenia often had the first psychotic break between eighteen and twenty-one years old, and seemed more prevalent in young males. There may be an association with the demands of adulthood, and the transition involved.
Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme mood swings. It used to be called manic depressive disorder. My mother-in-law was bipolar. She had her first serious episode at around age fifty. After that, she was hospitalized many times, and in her sixties, spent up to forty-eight weeks of the year in hospital. Before an extreme manic episode, she would have disrupted sleep. Following a few weeks of disrupted sleep, she would spiral completely out of control.
What is it like to watch a person go into a manic psychosis? It was extremely difficult for the family. The behaviours included tearing the house apart, pulling things out of all the closets and cupboards, and then doing the same thing in the garage. She would gather all kinds of foliage from the yard, and make concoctions out of the leaves and twigs. Often she would pin all kinds of branches and twigs onto a hat, and wear it. She would start fires, go out in public naked, and even walked up to a police officer and pulled the gun out of his holster.
In addition to the household and community behaviours, she would go on massive spending sprees, buying up all kinds of strange things, like a massive roll of barbed wire, and tires, or various other things that had to be returned or gotten rid of.
Each manic episode would build to such a crescendo, she would have to be admitted as an emergency patient to the psych unit, and then given massive doses of drugs. After weeks of sleeplessness, she would often be exhausted and dehydrated, by the time she was admitted to hospital. After the manic episode, she would be the opposite extreme, very sluggish and depressed. It was very sad to watch, and also very disruptive.
Her early childhood was not marred by the manic episodes, but I do recall her talking about not wanting to go to school. She also told me about an accident, where she was responsible for the death of a younger sibling. That may have contributed to her mental health breakdown in later years. Who knows?
In cases of severe mental health disorders requiring frequent hospitalizations, it is obvious the person is sick. They may not realize how extreme it is, but nevertheless, the behaviours and disruptions caused, are very obvious, and stressful to the people around them. A person who is spiralling into a manic psychosis cannot be ignored, and it will not resolve itself by waiting it out. In such cases the mental health disorder is out of control, and requires intervention.
Many other mental health disorders are caused by drugs like meth and cocaine, since they have a stimulating effect on the central nervous system, and can lead a person into a manic or psychotic state. Alcohol can also wreak havoc with a person’s system. If used pathologically, it creates a roller coaster of instability.
Other mental health disorders such as anxiety, PTSD, depression, etc. may or may not interfere with a person’s functioning to the extent they have to be hospitalized.
To be truthful, we all have signs and symptoms of certain mental health disorders. Whether it is perfectionism, OCD type behaviours, outbursts of anger, highly manipulative behaviours, addictive tendencies, grief reactions, etc.
For those with addictions, the solution is abstinence. I know many harm reduction programs advocate for safe supplies etc. but in my opinion and experience, abstinence is the only option. Many things we do in life are directional, meaning we are heading in one direction or another. If the direction is an overwhelming roller coaster addiction, it means it is time to change course, head the other direction and quit.
As far as the use of psychotropic medications, I do think they are needed in certain cases, but for the most part, we should exercise extreme caution when it comes to psych medications. Many of them cause severe movement disorders, suicidal ideation, or may cause adverse reactions when taken with other medications or certain foods. If a person needs them to stay stable, as in the case of my mother-in-law, then so be it. But if a person who does not need them is coerced into taking them, it is unfair and potentially abusive.
The only thing I use now, is oregano oil, if I think I am catching a cold. I was taking cod liver oil for awhile, but decided to stop that too. For a few months a year or so ago, I tried probiotics, but they gave me a headache, so I stopped taking them.
As the years have gone by, I have gradually, one by one, eliminated alcohol, all medications, including over the counter medications, cannabis, CBD oil, and various supplements. I am glad to have finally kicked them all. Many things are rooted in habits and patterns. After awhile, even if we are taking something medicinally, it may just become a habit, without much benefit, other than the fact it is a mini-ritual. If we take nothing, we have a much better chance of being able to monitor our overall health, as there is nothing to cloud our judgement, perceptions, or mask how we are feeling. Medications like antibiotics, antihistamines, and even Advil – can have a long term adverse effect on our health.
Life is full of struggles, and sometimes we don’t even know how to identify good mental health. We can recognize very unhealthy or disruptive activities, but what exactly is good mental health? I will readily admit, the recent surge of MAID in Canada, along with the plan to add mental health disorders to the MAID criteria, I was very upset, and triggered reading about it. It opens a Pandora’s box, if there is familial abuse, and gaslighting inflicted on a weaker person by a family member with power, and the motive to silence you. It also goes against the grain of our basic humanity.
The biggest problem with mental illness, is that it is open to abuses and false accusations. With all other illnesses or injuries, a person heals and recovers. The same thing does apply to mental health conditions, but the system does not seem to see it that way. I certainly know of people who were very depressed, suicidal, and hospitalized following a crisis in their life, yet they recovered and moved on. Many people have grief reactions, or go through a marriage break up, or drink pathologically, and overcome it. If that is the case, they do not need to be saddled with a label of mental illness forever.
If we break a leg, it heals. If we have surgery, we get back on our feet. If you had your gallbladder out twelve years ago, no one says – “Oh poor thing, she has an organ disorder, or a missing organ.” Is the person organ deprived for life? Maybe so, but it does not cling to her as a stigma, or sign of weakness. That would be absurd.
The same thing goes for alcoholism. You don’t have to sit around and tell everyone over and over that you are an alcoholic for the rest of your life. Your life becomes much more than that. If you do not drink, you do not need to call yourself an alcoholic. I think AA is an organizations that causes people to think they have to keep rehashing the years of alcohol abuse.
They have to keep claiming it as a personal label, as if it never goes away, and as a result, they get addicted to the AA meetings, and do not move on. Their life paradoxically, still revolves around alcohol. I remember talking to a guy a few years ago, who was hooked on AA meetings. He told me he had been on the twelfth step for sixteen years. I thought “Wow, why not take a few more steps, and walk away from that concept?”. I have never gone to an AA meeting, and don’t discount the fact it works for some people. But it does seem that people wallow in their attachment to alcohol, and don’t get away from it, even though they stopped drinking.
There are countless examples of healing, that do not cling to the person like a bad smell. If we are healed, great! Thank God and carry on. It does not mean the alcoholic can start drinking again, just like a person who has had their gallbladder removed cannot put the gallbladder back. They may have to avoid fats or certain foods, just like the alcoholic must avoid alcohol. If you cannot eat bananas, you simply don’t eat them. You don’t have to go around labelled with a banana disorder.
A quick Google search identifies the following as being evidence of mental wellness: self awareness, emotional agility, strong coping skills, live with purpose, and manage stress. Another answer focuses on exercise as the best avenue for maintaining a healthy outlook. Many others believe that diet is the most important contributor to a sound mind.
Without a doubt, all of these answers are correct. Some people are fortunate enough to have intrinsic stability. If they came from a loving stable home, they do not have the past traumas, or rejections, fears, etc. to deal with. Childhood trauma is one of the most difficult things to overcome. Those who are blessed with a good childhood, are not immune from developing mental health disorders, but they do have a foundational stability to fall back on when the going gets tough.
No matter what we are going through, one of the most sustaining factors, is our faith. This is not something that is taught or expressed as an option in the secular world, as it may interfere with a person’s choices, or family background. People should not be forced or coerced into any religious belief, especially if they are going through difficult times.
In my own humbling life’s experience, I found that religious extremism, based on rewritten interpretations of the Bible, or authoritative, dogmatic, overbearing, cultish superiority in religious beliefs – to be very damaging. In fact, some of the most heinous crimes have been committed by people who call themselves Christians. The prosperity preachers are insane and exploitive in my opinion. So for those who seek a higher authority and spirituality to help find calm and stability, discernment is critical. If someone is ranting about things that don’t sound right, don’t listen to the person. There is a phenomenal amount of deception to be found in religion.
But once you sort through the falsehoods, and get to the truth contained within the original version of the Bible, it is very reassuring. There is hope, justice, love, promise, and belief in the future, to rely upon, even if you feel you have nothing else. God does not turn us away, if we are diligently seeking his guidance and stability in our lives.
Of all things I have been exposed to over the years, including a couple of mental health counsellors, one who was helpful, and another who was dreadful, I have not found any self help or external options that offer anywhere near the reassurance that can be found in the Bible.
I prefer to listen to Alexander Scourby read the King James Version, and if I wake up at night, will listen to some of my favourite Books of the Bible. For years, I was almost afraid to read the Book of Revelation, because I had been indoctrinated with fear and falsehoods about the end times scenarios foisted on us by false preachers. But now that I have become familiar with what it actually says, in my opinion, it is the most beautiful and intriguing book of the Bible.
Instead of listening to the bizarre interpretations of ranting cultish preachers, listen to the real thing. It makes all the difference in the world.
We all consist of body, soul and spirit. It makes sense then, to look after all components of our existence. So the diet, and exercise is good advice. The soul consists of our mind, will, and emotions. Our spirit is from God. We can be spiritually deadened if we get into the wrong material, and some people can have evil spirits. But if we get an alignment between our body, soul and spirit, we are more likely to be able to manage our mental health, regardless of what gets thrown at us, or how much tribulation we are forced to endure.
Faith gives us an unseen belief in what we are hoping for. It gives us patience. It assures us of God’s love. We know that through faith, belief, and prayer, eventually our prayers will be answered.
Optimal mental health is rooted in truth and in love. I now believe in the assertion that the just will live by faith. We are saved from the many pits, and snares we fall into, only by the grace of God. Like the lyrics in a Guy Clark song, “we all got holes to fill – some fall on us like a storm – sometimes we dig our own”.
Therefore to age gracefully, and with a sound mind, we live by faith. That’s my personal testimony and solution, and I can honestly say – what a relief!
Let’s face it, some people will not respect personal boundaries. Others will back off for awhile, and then if they get an inch, they will push their way in, and take the proverbial mile.
If we grow up as people pleasers, or care givers, or in an environment where boundaries are not respected, we don’t have very good skills when it comes to setting boundaries. Those who want to dominate or control, will keep pushing boundaries like a telemarketer on speed dial. They just don’t give up.
It is even worse, if the person has established a pattern of boundary violations, and assumes you have no choice but to be nice, compliant, obliging, hospitable, etc.
In such a case, you have to change your own reactions, and stop being nice. You have to be very firm, and make it crystal clear, that you are no longer continuing the relationship in any way, shape or form. It can be quite a battle, depending on what their motives are.
In some cases, women have to get restraining orders. Boundary violations, if unchecked, and not respected, can lead to violence. Boundaries are closely associated with fundamental and inalienable rights. If a person has a callous disregard for the rights of others, they will also violate and push boundaries.
If someone persistently violates boundaries, or tries to get access to us, or catch us off-guard, or attempts to get a foot in the door, in my experience, we have to be very firm. No means no. It is an important lesson to learn when it comes to protecting ourselves.
The first question that comes to mind, is “what on earth do they want from me?” Clearly they want something. But what?
They might want your time, your attention, your labour, access to your home, your assets – or they may be enamoured with you and want your companionship. They might want to push their way into your life, and know that if they can do it once, they can do it again. They might want your services, such as nursing services, errands, computer services, or other tasks. They might want your soul.
Whatever it is, they want something. For some reason, they believe you can offer benefits to them in some direct, or indirect way. You are a pawn in their domain, only you may not have figured that out yet.
That is why people who tend to push boundaries get their way, and then are even more difficult to get rid of. It is much better to pay attention to red flags, and act early, as opposed to allowing it to go on. People who consistently violate boundaries, will not give up easily if they have already suckered you in.
Setting boundaries with people who refuse to accept boundaries, is a constant challenge. They do not give up. To them, it’s like a game of numbers. If they try forty nine times and you manage to keep them out, they still think they might catch you off guard, or in a situation where you cannot maintain those boundaries, if they push past them, again and again.
I believe we should all live by the golden rule. It is pretty straight-forward – treat others the way we ourselves would want to be treated.
If someone is doing something that makes me uncomfortable, I am under no obligation to have any kind of relationship with the person. We have a fundamental right to protect ourselves from unwanted attention, and/or exploitation. We have to guard our minds, will, and emotions, every bit as much as we must protect ourselves physically.
What if the person is just being nosy? What if they want to offer you a cherry pie, just to prove they are “nice”? I guess it depends on how well you know the person.
If a good friend, or family member does something nice for us, of course we are going to be appreciative.
But if someone we hardly know, or have made it clear we do not want them on our doorstep, then what? Be polite, and accept the cherry pie? No. Why? Because often such gestures are a ploy.
In my opinion and experience, the answer is no. Don’t accept things that might become an excuse for non-stop interruptions, or boundary violations over your time, and your life. Don’t let them make you feel an obligation to return the favour, or open your life to them for a cherry pie. If I want a cherry pie, I will go to the grocery store and buy one, since I am no good at making pies. But I have yet to buy one, so why would I feel obligated to be filled with gratitude for such an offer?
Another thing to note if you watch true crime shows, is that people who are victims of crime, are often described as being so nice, and so helpful. They also don’t have “an enemy in the world”. Obviously they did have an enemy. They just didn’t see them coming, or more likely, they saw them coming, and invited them in.
For most of us, if we want to be social, we can join a church, a club, or find people with similar hobbies. That way, when we meet someone we feel we can trust, or have things in common with, we can decide what terms we want to see them on. We don’t have to get railroaded.
I think one of the best ways to filter and avoid unwanted, potentially toxic relationships – is to set boundaries early. If there is a lack of respect shown for those boundaries, you know you are dealing with a person who will become increasingly controlling and intrusive. We tend to learn the hard way.
Another manipulative tactic, and one that is common in romance scams, is that suddenly the person has a crisis. If you listen to the stories of the victims, they get groomed, and then they get taken in by all the catastrophic events, and sense of urgency. The accident, or illness or mishap, almost always leads to demands for money or assistance. They play upon the victims inclination to have empathy, to trust things at face value, and then to part with their money. Once the person is invested, it is more and more difficult to back out of.
Some warning signs: One warning sign is if the relationship has a distinct power/dominance imbalance. For example, if the person thinks you owe them something (when you don’t), or if they believe they are vastly superior, or they are boss over you for some reason, it is likely toxic. Maybe they dominated you in the past, or had a superior role over you, and keep assuming the same power stance.
Maybe they see you as a challenge, a project, or a possession. Whatever it is – when we do not feel comfortable around someone, we have no obligation to open the door to them. We have no viable reason to allow them into our lives at all.
Thankfully, most normal people do pick up on cues, and will respect boundaries. Reasonable people want to be in mutually supportive relationships, not forced or coerced relationships. Loving one another cannot be achieved if there is deception and scheming, as opposed to a genuine respect for the other person’s choices.
Those who think they know what is best for others, are usually focused on what is best for themselves. We all have to understand – we do not decide for others how they should live their lives, and who they should associate with. Love does not control, coerce, or dominate other people.
We need discernment now, more than ever before in history. Without being judgemental, we still have to be aware, because the wolves are out in full force. We have to be watchful and alert. We don’t know if they will be wearing sheep’s clothing. They could be wearing just about anything.
God does not force us to be in a relationship with Him. He gives us a choice. If we did not love Him freely and by choice, it would not be love. In fact, the very essence of love, revolves around freedom of choice. The Ten Commandments were designed to protect us, give the parameters for boundary setting, and provide overall guidance. We cannot love one another, if we do not respect boundaries.
Everything from loving God, to loving our mother and father, to telling us not to steal, covet, commit adultery, bear false witness, and not to kill – should keep us in line. At least, one would think so, given the story of Moses, and the historical importance of establishing the Ten Commandments. But we fall short, and when we do, we have to repent, and go back to those basics, or we will suffer the wrath of God.
The ultimate and greatest boundary violation of all – is murder. Most people who are murdered, are murdered by someone they know. So what is the biggest mistake a murder victim makes? They allow a person that may have demonstrated many boundary violations, to have access to them. The biggest mistake they make, is in believing the person would not kill them. They underestimate the perpetrator.
The Bible tells us to resist the devil, and the devil will flee from us. In addition, we are to do good, not evil. If you pay attention, evil or wickedness has many facets, but the biggest one is deception. Therefore, we cannot rely on being naive and gullible. We are supposed to have discernment.
We need to fine tune our discernment, and listen to our intuition. We also need to protect ourselves, and not let ourselves be caught off guard, so someone can push past, or break down our boundaries. We have to protect our minds and our hearts too.
Trust is earned. It is essential in all loving relationships. But if trust is broken, it takes time, and a process of communication, forgiveness, and healing to re-establish trust. In those cases, we seek reconciliation and forgiveness, when it comes to people we love, such as close family members. We do have to forgive those we love, many times over.
But if the person who is plaguing us is not family, and not someone we love – we have no duty to accommodate them. None. Zero. Do we have to forgive them? Probably. But that does not mean we have to put up with more abuse. In some cases reconciliation follows forgiveness. In other cases, it completely terminates the relationship, and forgiveness is a matter of letting it go.
If someone else has broken our trust, we are best to walk away from them and put it behind us. After all, we have seen their true colours, and if they are not aligned with our own values, there is no point. In fact, resuming any relationship that has demonstrated a series of red flags, could potentially be dangerous.
Over the years I have become much more introverted, so can see both sides of the introvert extrovert coin. I do understand why people want to be left alone. I can also see why it is better to quietly mind our own business, and work with our hands. The Bible gives us that bit of wise advice as well.
We are living in a society that is exhibiting a great deal of boundary violations. People are out in droves trying to push agendas that others are not comfortable with. As a result, there are confrontations and protests.
All I can say is – set boundaries. Be firm. Protect your children and yourself. Set up some personal policies. It might be – No means no. It might be – listen to your intuition. It might be – do not open your door to unannounced knocks.
If you know the person, they will text first, or wait for an invitation. Random knocks, means that person wants something from you. They expect you to open the door, and respond. But you don’t have to, and in many cases it is safer not to.
For those who watch true crime shows, the biggest mistake countless victims have made, is to simply answer a random knock on the door. In the case of the Nova Scotia shooter, a few people survived it because they saw him, did not trust him, so they quickly locked the doors, and avoided him. It saved their lives.
If you are a female living alone, it is a good policy to avoid opening the door to random knocks. If you have kids, and dogs, and lots of people coming and going, the knock might be as innocent as informing you that you left the gate open, and your dog is out. Or it may be an Amazon delivery.
But if you are not expecting a package, and you don’t have a dog – and you abide by the golden rule, then stick to your own rules. If you don’t go around knocking on random doors yourself, why should you give access to yourself and your home, just because someone knocks? You are automatically caught off-guard and uneasy.
Maybe you are just about to get in the shower. Maybe you are in the middle of a zoom meeting. Or you might be in your pyjamas, and not the least bit presentable. One of my policies is that I open the door – when I am ready to go out and face the world. I don’t expect to be bothered, if I don’t want to be bothered. Plain and simple.
As the years have gone by, I have grown to appreciate my privacy. I would far rather be alone, than with someone I do not want to be around. I have never liked gossiping, and sitting around engaging in long boring conversations. But those who do have a sense of humour, and a genuine sincere personality, are the true gems we come across in our lifetimes.
Unfortunately, not all of us come from loving stable families, which makes it much more difficult to get to know people. How do you explain a family history rife with boundary violations? It creates a barrier.
There seems to be a bit of a balancing act between being nice, and being rude. The middle ground I suppose, is to be nice to people in general. But if they will not respect boundaries, you might have no choice but to be rude.
We cannot change the behaviour of other people. Nor do we have to be subjected to it. We can close the door, turn the dead bolt, and maintain the option of keeping it closed.
As an amateur photographer using a DSLR camera, I have learned, the frame size makes quite a difference. The biggest difference is in shooting full length gowns, robes, or coats.
With a Nikon D80, the room I was in was not large enough. So for long dresses and robes, I would have to back up, open the sliding door, and stand on the balcony to get the full image.
If you browse various Etsy sites, you will notice that in many cases long gowns are cut in half. You don’t see the full length in the product photo because the person does not have the space.
My initial assumption was that the distance was a lens feature, not so much a camera feature, but after switching to a larger frame camera, I was pleasantly surprised to be able to get the full frame long gowns or coats without having to stand out on the balcony, and let the flies or bees in.
The larger frame 48 megapixel camera is great for being able to take pictures in a smaller studio space. It is certainly something to consider for anyone who is taking fashion photos in smaller spaces.
The drawback though, and once again, I assumed it was a lens feature, but found out is is also a camera feature on the macro photography as well. I find it much more difficult to get really good macro photos with a large beast of a camera. Ahh – but all things in life involve a certain trade-off I suppose.
Nikon cameras developed the F mount for the various different lenses in 1959. They made the very intelligent decision to use the same F mount attachment year after year on camera bodies, as they built new and improved cameras.
Unfortunately the trusty old Nikon D80 I used for many years finally bit the dust and would no longer work with any lens. It just gave a stubborn ERR message, and would not budge.
I had to get another camera. As a result, I gained a better understanding of how the camera and lens have properties that change when you change camera bodies, even if you use the same lens.
It now makes perfect sense to me why the larger frame camera does better with full frame, and not as well with the macro close-ups. The smaller frame size camera is more geared to the close ups, with better intrinsic resolution.
In my opinion, both the larger and smaller frame cameras have very strong attributes, depending on what you are using them for. I know the Nikon D80 is no longer being made, but there are a few of them out there yet, with a fairly low price tag. You can buy the D80 camera body in the range of $100 – $350 or so.
The D80 is a great camera, especially for the macro shots. It is also fairly small and easy to manage on the tripod, even with a larger lens.
With photography, there is a fair bit of trial and error involved. I guess it depends on how much of the technical material one reads, and how much you just wing it.
The most photogenic products – in my opinion, are hand painted porcelain, colourful silk scarves, and embroidered silk textiles. Artisan sterling silver, with coloured gemstones, is also a real pleasure to photograph. The superior craftsmanships shows.
Capturing the beauty, colour, artistry, and workmanship of certain vintage items is a challenge. The camera often shows things about the product you would not otherwise notice.
I think the motifs, patterns and design get framed in, and maybe it does something overall for learning. The observation of so many different patterns, has sort of an orderly mathematical aspect to the learning curve as well.
Although many aspects of photography remain elusive, and some things are more technical weaknesses, I can certainly understand why people get hooked on it!
Jewelery, made from organic materials, in my opinion, is the most interesting of all. In previous posts, I wrote about the peak eras of resource extraction during the mid-twentieth century.
Humans tend to mine, or access what is most accessible at the time. Many of the old turquoise mines shut down long ago. Ivory, coral, and amber all have restrictions and limitations on what can be used and sold now.
It seems like we may have passed the time, when the earth’s resources were considered to be an endless supply. Once the valuables were mined or taken from the easy access locations, the further one has to go to find the valuable organic materials. The more difficult the access, the less abundant, and the more expensive things become.
In addition, the organic materials create hands-on educational opportunities. What kind of shell, nut, wood, or bead is this? It would take many years to be able to identify all the materials used, spanning a century or more of living, travel, and post-war abundance. We took things for granted.
Now, not only are the materials more “precious” should we say? For those of us who appreciate natural materials more than synthetic or manmade items, we have good reasons for our appreciation. Nothing reflects or absorbs colour like baltic amber in the sunlight. Shells and mother of pearl are beautifully iridescent. Every single gemstone is unique.
Ethically, and from a sustainable development perspective, the preservation and re-use of jewelery made from organic materials makes so much sense. How many of us, other than carpenters – know how to identify all the different types of wood? Ebony and rosewood, are among the types of wood used by higher end designers. They are often adorned with diamonds, gold, or sterling silver. Chanel, YSL and Miriam Haskell all designed some beautiful wood jewelery over the years. The array of antique and vintage wooden jewelery boxes, is staggering when it comes to attention to detail, and quality of workmanship.
Also, most of us would not know how to identify all the different types of nuts that have been used to make jewelery over the years. If we live in a location without nut trees, we have no idea what kind of nuts are on a necklace. Believe it or not, there are antique carved walnut necklaces that took hundreds of hours to make. Each walnut has carved scenes. They are antiques from China, and I believe the carved walnuts are called hediao.
“Known as ‘hediao’, fruit or nut pit carving is a folk art which became popular in China during the Qing Dynasty 1644-1911 the last imperial dynasty of China.Jan 2, 2021″.
Amber does not come with fully intact little bugs or spiders inside. There are many fakes. But with authentic Baltic amber, you can see the bits of organic material inside. More so, there is a glow that comes from deep within, so you can see the interplay between the amber and ultraviolet light, when taking macro photos. The macro photography has given me a better eye for, and a better understanding and perspective, when it comes to organic jewelery. There is nothing like amber and rock crystal, if you want to get out of a humdrum picture taking mode.
Amber is a much wider field of study than most of us realize. We tend to think of its colour as being the golden yellow that we see most often in Baltic amber. However it can also be found in red, green, blue, brown, orange, and black. In fact, there are over sixty types of fossil resins from all over the world. And guess what? The oldest fossil resins are found in Canada! Here is an excerpt from a site with a full a glossary of the types of fossil resins, and where they are found.
“There are over 60 types of fossil resin known all over the world. The youngest of them can be found in
East America, Africa, Australia, New Zealand, or even Europe. The oldest sources of fossil resin can be
found in Canada. It is worth remembering that many types of resin such as Arabic gum, manila copal
mastic, myrrh, sandarach, and dammar resin are artificially produced. Nowadays many chemical,
physical genetic, and paleontologic researchers are being widely conducted. Its main idea is to find the
mother trees of fossil resin types.”
Another fascinating and colourful gemstone is Ammolite. The only gemstones made of this very colourful, organic, fossilized sea creature material, came from Alberta, Canada.
“While fossilized ammonites can be found in several places around the world, a small area within the Bearpaw Formation, the name for the area leftover from where sediment settled on the bottom of sea, in Southern Alberta, Canada, is the only location where they have been turned into gemstones.” How about that? Alberta actually has some gems!
Organic adornments help us to appreciate nature. If they land up discarded in a landfill, for the most part, they will turn into compost.
We may have come to a point where we no longer take the earth’s resources for granted, including the time, labour, and energy it takes to create things.
When I think of putting together a collection that spans 20th century design, I wonder if it is a massive reflection of labour intensive materialism. We are not quite 25% into the 21st century, and already the view of the earth and its resources is changing dramatically.
As we turned the millennial corner, fast fashion became the rage, and “new is better” set the stage. Now suddenly, there are labour shortages, material and supply chain difficulties, travel and shipping restrictions, higher costs on extracting resources, etc. etc.
We defined progress, and then watched it happen. It all grew like a mustard tree. Now we regress, and the common people do not have quite as much opulence and wealth. There is more concern over food security and housing, than there is over fashion and art right now. It is totally understandable.
At a certain point, progress as we once knew it, is no longer progress. Success needs to be redefined. We pick up these remnants, and pass them on. We are only stewards of the earth’s resources. If we take care of, and protect what is already here, maybe we will have the resources to work toward, and pay for the things that matter most.
When you really think about it – will there even be a 21st century of design? I wonder…
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Bread is one of the most basic foods to sustain and nourish life. It also has a great symbolic and metaphorical meaning in the Bible. It is mentioned almost five hundred times, and indirectly at least that many times again. It is part of the universally known and frequently repeated Lord’s prayer.
Of all things we eat, bread is a staple. It is especially so for those of us who were born and bred on prairie farms. I do recall the baking of fresh bread as a warm and nourishing bit of nostalgia. Even the smell is good for us. Plus, we don’t want drafts when we are baking bread, so it makes for a warm and cozy day.
For those who cannot tolerate wheat, or think it is best to get grains out of the diet, it might be a matter of putting together ingredients that you can tolerate. Wheat got a bad rap with all the gluten free propaganda in recent years.
We have probably all learned that not all breads are created equal. Artisan loaves are at a premium, often close to $6.00 a loaf. In many cases, the price tag seems to replace the leaven. You now get smaller loaves, and less bread, yet the price continues to rise.
I used to bake bread years ago, and for some reason stopped. I guess I equated it to a full day of staying home, and/or did not have the confidence to make a really good bread. I don’t know why I stopped, but since I started again, it has been rewarding.
I was envisioning people in ancient times baking bread, kneading the dough, flipping it over and kneading it more, then putting it in a big outdoor stone oven. Because of the kneading, you do get a feel for the bread you are baking. You also know what you are putting into the bread.
It was the hunt for a good nutritious loaf of bread that made me start thinking about routinely baking bread and putting what I like into it.
At night I often listen to audio books, and history channels. This too, made me start thinking about the whole process of making bread. Since I spend a significant amount of time online, editing, photo-editing, etc. anything that is a diversion, creates a healthy break.
Since commercial bread baking is a capitalistic project, they want to create the most long lasting product, for the least amount of money. If you do it yourself, you can make an excellent loaf of nutritious bread for less than $2.00 a loaf.
Another thing I have noticed, is that for me, certain breads caused an inflammatory type autoimmune response. Therefore, I became wary of certain brands and opted for fresh baked artisan loaves instead.
The idea of baking bread the old fashioned way appeals to me, and creates exercise for the hands and shoulders as an added bonus. I suppose if a person did it every day, you might get strong hands, but for those of us who are sort of like weekend warriors when it comes to bread baking, we probably won’t get enough kneading in to make a big difference.
At first, to get my feet wet again with the whole project, I started out with a basic white bread recipe, to see how the yeast worked, and to try and make it foolproof for starters. I wanted to find a good baseline recipe to test, and then start adapting, to try and create the perfect loaf. It probably will never be perfect, but will be much closer to what I like. It also ends up being much fresher, more nutritious, and cheaper than what you can buy in the grocery stores.
Even after making a basic white loaf from scratch, I did not get the inflammatory response that some breads seem to cause. The absolute worst (for reasons unknown) was the freezer bread. My advice is to avoid it.
The freezer bread is an option I tried once, and then threw the rest out. It is definitely not the way to go, to make bread baking more convenient. The dough comes in an opaque bag, with four or five small frozen white loaves. The bread rose and looked okay. But it had no flavour, and an equally bland, flat tasting texture. After that brief experiment, I would not opt for frozen dough of any sort. I had headaches, sore eyes, joint pain – you name it.
So far, on the concept of baking bread from scratch the old-fashioned way, I have stuck with using a “homestyle white” flour for 50% of the recipe. Otherwise you could end up with a brick if you are not careful about the density. I remember a time back on the farm, when my sister made some buns that even the dog could not chew. We used them to play baseball as proof of hardness, as a joke to tease her about her cooking skills. You could bat one of those buns into the field.
For the other 50% of the recipe, I have substituted whole wheat flour, ground flax, hemp seeds, and sunflower seeds. When you start adding the weightier nutrients, you have to add a bit more moisture. I added a bit of extra water and oil to the yeast mixture.
Other flours that I might try in the future are almond, oat, coconut, and quinoa. But for now, the latest recipe turned out great. I made a batch of cinnamon buns with raisins and walnuts, and they also turned out just great. When proofing the yeast, and for the flour mixture, I substituted cane sugar for plain white sugar. Other options are molasses, honey, or brown sugar, which I did try once, but tiny lumps of it did not blend that well, when stirring by hand.
There is a whole new world out there when it comes to baking bread. For instance, I did not know that your kitchen becomes cultured too. I guess the yeast spores become part of the environment. What was odd to me is that the first couple of times, I could smell yeast days after baking the bread, and wondered why. But this last time, even though the recipe was doubled, thus using two packages of yeast instead of one, the yeast smell is no longer noticeable. So I guess maybe the air got proofed too?
You can add a whole range of nuts, seeds, fruit, herbs, cheeses, and even buy things like Red Mill or other multi-grain cereals to add. They can be ground to whatever consistency you like. You also learn the names for the various different shapes you can make. Who knew that a short oval loaf is called a batard?
The other interesting change I made is to try baking in enamel coated cast iron. I have a vintage DRU Holland set with variable sized pots, as well as a covered frying pan. I used the round frying pan to make the cinnamon buns, and a small dutch oven to make a round loaf. They cooked evenly, and turned out even better than expected.
Anyway, as a method to nourish both body and soul, protect the pocketbook, when combined with finding a nutritious tailor-made or custom-made recipe – baking it yourself, is a worthwhile experience. For example, I detest caraway seeds, and would never put them in a loaf of bread.
As far as having to stay home all day long, the first rise takes at least two hours, so you can go out if you want to. After increasing the density with different add-ons, just like you need to add a bit more moisture to compensate, you can also add an extra bit of time for the first rising.
The best part is that you don’t need to have many ingredients on hand, to be able to bake bread. Basically you need to keep a supply of flour and yeast. Who doesn’t have water, sugar, salt and oil in their kitchen?
As an amateur and novice, but with a bit of bread making memory – it’s actually pretty easy!
Although we all appreciate the rain to put the fires out, and make the smoke clear, the lighting for these photos was not great today. But even in low light, the colours and intricacies showing through in the designs, are brilliant and stunning with a high level of artistry. This post will feature a collection of twenty-eight different silk appliques from the 1920’s, with vibrant colours, and incredible attention to detail.
With some sunny breaks this weekend, I did manage to get these beautiful works of art photographed in natural light. One of my favourites, is the Phoenix looking bird in flight with bells for its wings and tail feathers. Initially, it looks like bells, until you realize the inverted stem is the bird’s head, and you can see its tiny embroidered eye. It’s kind of an optical illusion. As an added bonus, many of these embellishments feature accents done with metallic thread.
I have listed the collection of this needlework art under New Arrivals, and have added photographs of the reverse side of each one. They are also listed under Buttons & Notions, and in the 1920’s Decade. I will likely add the Art Objects tag as well. They are truly incredible works of art, over a hundred years old, in vibrant detail, and made by a very talented needle worker.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
There is no doubt that people have the right to believe what they choose to believe in politics, religion, and personal choices. Beliefs shape a person’s day to day actions. As long as the actions are within the scope of the law, we all have a right to manage, maintain, or change our beliefs.
No one can really force us to believe something. Even if a person is tortured, they may comply, or even make false admissions, but they still have their own beliefs about what happened, and what is happening. Oppressive regimes try to control people’s thoughts, but are not successful in doing so. At least they are not able to control all of the people’s thoughts, for a sustained period of time. History has many examples of the uprisings that occur after periods of enduring oppressive and regressive regimes. Out of the contrary thoughts, there is a spark that often ignites a greater awareness, or a change in beliefs.
The laws have been structured to cover and protect a wide range of personalities, cultures, religions, lifestyles, traditions, and activities, without prejudice. Therefore, people practice cultural traditions, expressions of faith, and certain rituals based on their own personal, often historical beliefs.
Beliefs can surround things other than religion, and become just as obsessive. Some beliefs are fear based. Others are faith based. They can be knowledge based, or based on prior indoctrination. They can be based on identity, as we have all learned by now.
Our beliefs are shaped by our parents, ancestors, family, friends, education, knowledge, values, desires or will, emotions, choices, circumstances, memories, sometimes deceptions and betrayals, and spiritual searching. To some extent, there is also a neurobiological component, such as with trauma, addictions, diet, gut biome, genetic markers, intrinsic stability etc.
All of these things provide feedback for the central nervous system, and neurobiological loops within our systems. Dopamine affects our mind and mood. Serotonin also affects our mood. Melatonin affects our sleep. Stress affects our system through corticosteroids, surges of adrenalin and so on. All of these things contribute to our ability to learn and evaluate the world around us.
There are certain triggers based on past experiences that cause stress and anxiety. Then if we see similar patterns that trigger those associations, we resort to our earlier and ingrained patterns of response to the threat. If we continue allowing the same responses, our beliefs and reactions will be based on fear and vulnerabilities, instead of being based on strength and confidence.
We have to be firmly planted, so no one can pull us out by the roots. The only way we can manage, is by tending to our nutrients, and paying attention to what we put into our minds and bodies – spiritually, psychologically, and physically. The nutrients, along with some armour and protective forces, will help us to thrive. Sometimes the enemy is more subtle, and tries to make us wither, give up and die. Being fully alive requires a constant renewal of energy and hope.
We get a surge of adrenalin, along with the neurobiological response, before we even formulate a thought. Therefore past experiences do contribute to shaping our beliefs, and reaction to external stressors. To overcome it, we have to be aware of the neurochemistry flowing through us. It has to be recognized, evaluated, and diffused, in order to help us get more clarity. We can find ways to adjust our responses, after we adjust our beliefs to a more confident and stable position.
Some people prefer to skim the surface, while others are inclined to plumb the depths of our existence. A large percentage of people believe what they are “expected” to believe. They may be hemmed in, and trapped without even realizing it.
Typically we think of cults, or at least I thought of cults as being religious in origin. We can read about the belief systems of hundreds of different cults. They often have different origins, and some uniquely different practices, but some of the things I have noticed about cults, is that they all have an origin based on the specific writings or interpretations of the Bible by a powerful and egotistical leader.
In many cases the powerful leader is charismatic, and can write and speak about their interpretations of the Bible very fluently and convincingly. An extremist cult that rises out of these religious systems, has more focus on the leader than they do on God or the Bible. The followers are told what to believe, based on what the leader believes. Once the leader has established himself as the voice of God, the sky is the limit. At least it is for awhile.
As time goes on, and people buy into the deception, the belief systems become increasingly delusional, and often very controlling and abusive. One of the key methods of evaluation regarding a church, a leader, or teacher of pseudo-Christian doctrines, is to look at the founder. Is he making other claims based on brazen lies? What kind of character does the person have in other areas of his/her life? Are they projecting themselves as being the voice of some kind of divine deity? Is the person a false teacher, and false authority?
By doing some research into the background of these leaders, you can find out the errors and origins of all of the known cults. You can read about John Darby altering the Bible, to create a completely different gospel, and denial of the original covenant theology. The changes Darby made to the Bible, are vast in their scope and meaning, and represent a significant deviation from the truth.
C.I. Scofield picked up on the Darby Bible, and created multiple versions, all with odd footnotes to push his skewed interpretations and beliefs. Scofield is another one, who had a very bad reputation and character.
In fact, you can learn a great deal about the development and rise of cults, based on the background of a specific leader or writer. Ellen White wrote thousands of pages of religious fantasies, and was also known to plagiarize a significant amount of what she presented. She is still revered by the Seventh Day Adventist Church.
What I have noticed, is that if you are open-minded and want to know the truth, you will see the deceptions, contradictions, and sometimes outright madness of the leader, as in the cases of Jim Jones, and David Koresh. But in many cases, people don’t see it until they are out of the cult, get some distance, and have had time to reflect on what led them to the beliefs.
You will also notice that many cults started out with a more dominant religion, and then branched into more selective extremism. David Koresh and the Branch Davidians started out as a sect or branch of the Seventh Day Adventist church. A similar thing has happened within the Baptist churches, Mennonites, Catholics, Anglicans, and Pentecostal churches to name a few. Jim Jones originally started a Pentecostal church, and then became increasingly extremist and insane.
Even if religious beliefs follow a different Bible, or the interpretations of a certain leader, it does not mean they are a destructive cult. A high percentage of people who attend churches of various denominations are sincere in their beliefs, and do not harm others as a result of their beliefs.
The elements of a destructive cult revolve around one or more of the following: financial exploitation, lies, slander, false accusations, sexual molestation of children, attacking the mind, will, and emotions of a person, targeting certain individuals, infiltrating families, and then ripping those families apart.
They will stalk their victim, and attack physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. All of the victim’s relationships are targeted as well, and adversely affected by the cult. Their aim is to isolate, and turn the victim into a complete outcast, if they dare to defy or defect. They often try to break the spirit of their victim, and drive them to addiction or suicide.
They will use threats, violence, coercion, force, manipulations, slander, mobbing, and profound shaming. They will make false claims to have family relationships with their victims, thus restricting, oppressing, and entrapping them in a falsehood, and cognitive dissonance they cannot escape. They will exhibit an adamant refusal to let a person end the relationship with the cult.
They stubbornly persist in maintaining the control tactics over their victims. They continue the pursuit, in spite of attempts to reason with them, and regardless of the many protests and pleas of the victim. They are very thick skinned, in that they will persist in forcing an unwanted relationship, even after you go to the authorities. They do not expect to get arrested, and unfortunately they seldom do get arrested. This is one of the reasons they are so damaging, as the victim seldom gets justice, or even validation, in spite of the massive amount of harm that has been done to their lives.
Those are the issues and identifiers to help define destructive cults, regardless of the umbrella they are operating under.
We seem to be in a phase of history where not only do we need to filter all the deceptions in religion, but also in politics, medicine, and education. We are presented with a wide range of propaganda, untruths, and half truths in all areas of our existence. The wolves might be wearing sheep’s clothing – but they could be dressed up as just about anything.
The other day I actually wondered if CBC is becoming a cult. They openly admit to abandoning journalistic objectivity. They often have a very specific agenda and bias on what they report, and how they report it. They will not permit open and respectful discourse on the topics they write about. They moderate all dissenting opinions out of the equation. They will not tell the other side of the story, only the one that fits their agenda. I don’t think anyone would call it news. So what is it?
We have entered the era of truth versus deception, erosion of values, limitations on common sense, and divisive accusations – for going against the flow. Even just for questioning it. Oh no, you can’t be doing that!
We can only be responsible for our own beliefs. If others have different beliefs, but are not acting in a way that infringes on the rights of others, then so be it. Or so we used to think. Because rights themselves have become a central battlefield, all over the world.
Our minds are the minefield. Therefore our beliefs are very important. I believe we should stand firm, tread softly, and live by faith.
Ultimately, what we believe is our destiny. Deception is our enemy. Discernment is a gift. We either embrace truth, or we become hardened by deception, and strong delusion.
We all make mistakes, and struggle sometimes like we have a crocodile clamped onto our leg in deep water. But even the desire to be truthful, and to find truth, in order to help with decision making – will help prevent that croc from dragging us into the depths.
Knowledge is power. There is no barrier to knowledge for those who seek truth with a sincere heart. Truth does not trick, trap, lie, bully, or harm us in the long run. We might be persecuted, but it will not last forever. Knowledge is continually growing, and we can grow with it, especially if we can differentiate truth from deception.
It is like it goes right back to the Garden of Eden, and the tree of the forbidden fruit, where Adam and Eve condemned all of us, by eating from the tree of knowledge from good and evil. Prior to that, they were not exposed to evil. But after they ate the fruit, all humans had to learn to navigate life with a knowledge of both good and evil. The clincher is to be able to distinguish one from the other.
In my opinion, this fallen element of human nature, means all humankind must find a way to differentiate the intense complexities, and battles between good and evil. At the heart of it, just as the Adam and Eve story tells us, is how the serpent beguiled Eve, and how Eve then convinced Adam to eat the fruit.
After that, typical of human nature, each one blamed the other. Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent.
But it was all about deception to begin with. And deception is something we end with – before there can be a new beginning. We are at the peak period of deception.
The question is – do we slide into the abyss on a rock face of sheer ice, before we reach the summit? Or do we embrace the fact we must seek the knowledge, and truth of what is good? As opposed to following what is based on deception, and results in evil? In our mind, we can gaze at that tree in the Garden of Eden for a very long time, wondering how it contained the knowledge of both good and evil.
This is also the conundrum, the cross, and the crux – where we finally meet up with our free will, and our destiny. Truth is the path to redemption. The truth does set us free. Thank God!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
There is no doubt in my own mind how much there is to be learned from our cultural history and diversity. The Quiet West collection by itself has a wide array of fascinating things to learn about. I have found it takes many years, if not a lifetime of ongoing learning, to become adept at identifying what’s what.
In the garments, there is a full range of textiles to identify, to include the type of fabric, or looming techniques, screen printing, hand printing, hand painting, various weaves, patterns, and a multitude of different embellishments. Most of the techniques used in the early part of the twentieth century were labour intensive, and are not the norm in today’s world of fast fashion. Many of the fabrics they used, are now obsolete. In the case of fancy silk brocades and embellished fabrics, the prices on today’s fabrics, if they do exist, can be prohibitively expensive.
In addition, the era or time frame when the item was created can be identified by certain features and fabrics. The authenticity of things prior to the 1990’s is easier to determine than it is for the replicas, fakes and knock-offs that have been made in more recent years. Items with all labels and tags really help to narrow down the time frame.
For instance in North America, garments made between 1968 – 1984 will often have small square union labels near the zipper, or on an inside seam. Notable designers with intact labels, also make it possible to narrow down the time frame in which it was made.
Jewelery is a vast field all on its own. The design, techniques, famous designers, era, and materials used – is a dazzling and vast subject of study. There is an endless array of knowledge in the coloured gemstones, lamp work beads, various art glass techniques, organic materials like amber, coral, and pearls, plus coatings, crystals, cuts, machinations, and even the plastics they used. Lucite jewelery was very popular in the fifties.
Certain mystery materials, especially if they are organic, makes for an interesting show and tell. Shells also offer a range of studies in the different types, classifications, markings, shapes, and colours. Antique and vintage ivory, although banned in many countries now, is still intriguing to examine and learn about.
Not to be facetious, but you can’t put a carved necklace back on the elephant anyway. So you might as well examine it, and preserve it so others can see and learn about it as well. I don’t believe in the destruction of artifacts. Although I do most certainly believe elephants and other animals with tusks should be protected from poaching.
However, a number of animals die naturally. The average lifespan of an elephant is 48-70 years. It’s too bad they could not find a way to put markings on legitimate ivory from elephants that died naturally. But alas, human nature has caused harm, so all of the ivory is now off-limits, except for educational purposes.
The number of sterling silver hallmarks in existence can literally make your head spin. There is an entire encyclopedia from Mexico alone. Europe also has thousands of hallmarks and symbols to be identified. Some of the most famous designers rise to the surface, and after awhile, you can learn to recognize the distinctive styles, designers and countries of origin. Doing the macro photography has helped me have a better eye for jewelery design. The macro photography often shows things you didn’t notice, so it has an added benefit.
Antique and vintage porcelain is another vast area full of intrigue, with a sophisticated level of academia to go with it. My personal favourite is early to mid-century hand painted Japanese porcelain. The more refined the porcelain, the more intricate the painting in depth and colour, combined with the culturally unique aspects of the painting and gilding, all contribute to its stunning beauty. It is very photogenic, and a real pleasure to look at and photograph.
The symbols or markings on porcelain help us identify the era and maker. In the case of Japanese and other Asian porcelain, the symbols have to be examined closely. The markings contribute a great deal towards increasing our knowledge about them. Fine porcelain has been shipped around the world for centuries.
One of the recent listings features a 1950’s mid-century dresser box with hand painted roses and gilding. It was made during the post war time frame when Japan was creating porcelain for export to the western world. Much of it was developed with imagery and design they thought would appeal to western culture. Below is a link to show this particular design:
It is an example of ESD porcelain from Japan. ESD stands for Economic Sustainable Development. It has been well understood on a global level, for many decades, how important specialized talents, artistry, and artifacts contribute to the culture of a nation.
In all cultures – we help to protect and reflect our future, by preserving our past.
Cultural dimension is closely tied to sustainable development. Although there are many definitions and descriptions surrounding both culture and sustainable development, essentially culture is about creativity, heritage, knowledge and diversity.
Sustainable development is defined as economic development that is conducted without depletion of natural resources.
It is the cultural aspect of our Canadian heritage that has created the drive and energy to set up, photo document, and share the Quiet West collection, which is essentially a portfolio of twentieth century design.
Costume and jewelery design has always reflected the wider movements in arts and culture in the various different eras. Therefore, we see similarities in everything from architecture, to furniture design, in the visual arts, and in costume and personal styles.
During the modernist era of influence, we see sleek lines and geometrical shapes, in sharp contrast to the turn of the century romanticism with all the floral themes, vines, and curlycues. In spite of the fact that art is highly subjective and involves personal taste, certain design themes caught on and swept the cultural stage for periods of time. What was considered avant-garde in one era, might turn into a widespread movement in a few short years.
During the post war years Canada provided many incentives for creative fashion and textile designers, many of which were developed in Montreal and Toronto. We have a rich and creative history based on the talent from Montreal, and the incentives that were provided to develop and promote this talent. It is something all Canadians can be proud of.
Thankfully, with the migration and travel to Canada’s west coast, a percentage of these stylish remnants and works of art ended up on the west coast.
In addition to the fashion design and trends throughout the twentieth century, most of the luxurious textiles and sewing techniques have become obsolete. There is a rich history and knowledge base in the textiles alone. This involves everything from hand loomed, hand and screen printing, knits, gold and silver lame costumes, and wide variety of trim, pin tucking, laid work, embroidery, laces, etc.
In addition to our own fashion development heritage, and the widespread travel during the twentieth century, we have also had access to mid-century designs from locations throughout the world. Some of the mid-century gowns had a thousand hours or more put into the embellishments using glass beads and a variety of sequins.
The best definition of culture according to a Google search is: ” Culture can be defined as all the ways of life including arts, beliefs and institutions of a population that are passed down from generation to generation. Culture has been called “the way of life for an entire society.” As such, it includes codes of manners, dress, language, religion, rituals, art.”
Culture is also considered to be the fourth pillar of sustainable development, according to UNESCO and several other organizations promoting sustainable development. It does take time, effort and money to document and preserve our cultural heritage. But it does not deplete or make demands on natural resources.
In the case of coloured gemstones used in artisan sterling silver jewelry, those designs depict the country of origin, the various artists, and gemstones that were at one time fairly abundant. A high percentage of the turquoise mines are now closed. The post war years led to a great deal of extraction of the earth’s resources. Understandably those resources have been used up, and the new locations for extracting them are increasingly difficult to access.
At least in my own lifetime, there has always been a focus on what is new. The old was considered to be junk or garbage, while the new was what was coveted and thought to be an improvement.
It seems we reached a point many years ago, where the old was often better than the new when it comes to certain cultural commodities. The reason for this is not only in the access to and abundance of these resources, but also in the values surrounding workmanship, craftsmanship, quality, and competition for excellence.
One only needs to look at some of the mid-century costume jewelery and compare it to what is made today. From the 1930’s to the 1960’s there was fierce competition to create fashion jewelery that emulated the real thing.
Designers like Gustave Sherman, Boucher, Panetta, Schreiner, and Trifari are just some examples of jewelery makers who valued high quality, and strived to make glamour more widely available by emulating Cartier and other famous designers. The goal was to make fabulous high fashion jewelery that was affordable for the average person. They did a great job of creating an appeal for glamour in the mass consumer markets.
When it comes to design, resources, and craftsmanship, there comes a point where the old will never be produced again, to the same standards it was in the past. We passed the point of creating new and improved fashion and jewelery.
In fact, if you closely examine the newer jewelery, you will find that even the expensive items are gold or silver plated. The gemstones and Swarovski crystals are often very small and highly treated, as opposed to some of the rocks we can marvel at in the earlier pieces.
Our culture is not only about obsolete textiles, hats, jewelery, and the history of fashion design during past decades, it is the soul of our nation.
We don’t lose our soul to fast fashion or slapstick designs. We are wise to carry the cultural soul and reflections of our past forward. After all – we want to keep our soul. It is not something to damage, disregard, or downplay.
In my opinion, all of our cultural gems are captivating and deserving of our care and attention.
On this note, I will soon promote and share a sample of the Montreal fashion designer Hugh Garber. In the 1960’s he studied fashion design in London, and then returned to Canada to develop the “holiday line” for Margo Dress Co. in Montreal.
The Hugh Garber outfit I have to list next, is from the 1968-1969 holiday line, and is made of a deluxe heavy vertically aligned gold lame. It has the appearance of a full length glamour gown, but it is actually a hot pants set. There are covered buttons down the front that open up to short, high waisted gold lame hot pants. It’s really quite a delightful ensemble!
The Hugh Garber gold lame hot pants will be featured under New Arrivals, and also in a blog post once the photography is done. I am fairly certain there is not another one like this one to be found.
Sanity is not really well defined, and probably should be defined more by a person’s functionality and purpose, as opposed to whether or not they have had to overcome depression, addiction, trauma, rejection, slander, fear and anxiety.
Some of the most insane people are in positions of leadership, yet because they function at a certain executive level, they can still manage to have power over people. It is temporary though, because power in itself is temporary. Governments change, fascist leaders eventually fail or die, and public sentiment adjusts when people have had enough.
We live in a rather fluid world, where even the most controlling and manipulative authoritarian cannot predict the outcomes. We just have to remember that control is all about predicting outcomes. Since they cannot anticipate all the results, they also cannot manage total control of the population.
We have to maintain self-control first and foremost. We can still voice an opinion. We are still in control of our own thoughts, and the reaction we have to external factors. We can make assessments, and adapt to those external factors without going insane. Our worldview may differ from others, and may not go with the flow – but we all know these can be good traits, not necessarily bad or insane traits.
The automatic reaction to fear, is higher levels of anxiety and escapism. Fear turned inward is likely to result in depression and anxiety, and when externalized, it is likely to cause anger. We are innately driven and protected due to surges of adrenalin. It gives us the fight or flight instinct to get us out of harms way.
However, constant high levels of adrenalin, leads to chronic health conditions. Surges of adrenalin are meant to be a temporary, not a chronic solution, or source of energy. Some people actually draw a large percentage of their energy from adrenalin. It leads to a roller coaster of up and downs, followed by burn-out.
For those who are inspired by surges in adrenalin, whether it is bungee jumping, race car driving, or gravitating to high adrenalin occupations, there still needs to be a method of bringing the adrenalin under control. Short bursts of adrenalin are less damaging than the chronic adrenalin infusion that comes through stress and worry.
What happens if fear is chronic and pervasive? It raises adrenalin and cortisol levels as we hover in a state of anxiety or anger. We also carry the family of origin trauma, rejection, addiction, deception, poverty, family breakdown – or whatever things contribute to the cycle of fear.
If we continue in a state of chronic fear and stress, we probably will get sick. This manifests not only in mental health issues, but also cardiac, blood pressure, autoimmune disorders and cancer, to name a few.
I think the greatest tangible fears for most of us revolve around personal safety, health, and financial security. When faced with uncertainty, humility, failures, fears, and our own shortcomings – the natural inclination is some kind of escapism.
Escapism comes in many shapes and forms. The most common one is drug and alcohol addiction. There is much stigmatization that stems from addiction, mostly because we only see the deeper downside of addiction. Homelessness, huge slums, property crime, violence, overdoses, and death are the outcomes of severe addiction.
Yet how many people are truly drug free? We have no idea. There is a huge difference between those who drink a glass of wine daily, or use a small amount of low dose cannabis, in comparison to pathological drinking, and unbridled drug use.
On one side of the coin, drug and alcohol use will not likely lead to intoxication, or the inability to function, in otherwise stable individuals. The other side is blotto – or a desire to blot out our own existence, thinking it is a temporary state, but for so many, the blotto state leads to a loss of life.
Alcohol is more dangerous than cannabis, in that it can be highly addictive, and significantly impairs judgment. For some people, the impairment of judgement happens rapidly, depending on the predisposition of the person. In other cases, the addiction to alcohol is more insidious. Although some of us are more predisposed to addiction, no one is immune, regardless of intelligence or socioeconomic status.
The most dangerous prescription medications can also be subtle at first, and can cause severe CNS symptoms and dependency over time. Benzodiazepines, SSRI’s, sleeping pills, psychotropic medications, and even statins can have a severe impact on our psyche, mental health and memory.
Other maladaptive forms of escapism include severe depression, mania and psychosis. Does this happen due to chemical imbalances in the brain? In some ways – maybe so. Drugs and alcohol do affect the neurochemistry of the brain. So does food, food additives, chronic stress, sugar and sleep.
Just as few adults manage to be totally free of drugs and alcohol, we are also not free of food additives and sugar, so we have to pay attention to these things to help us stay “with it” so to speak.
We might notice the dramatic increase of street people, many who are severely addicted to the point they cannot function or take care of themselves. But there is a plethora of other people who are not on the street, who cope by self-medicating.
First or all, conflict or a breakdown in relationships does not mean a person is mentally ill. In fact, as we go through life, a certain amount of conflict is unavoidable. All we can do, is make the grievance known, explain why it is a problem, or a lie or whatever, and find ways to protect ourselves.
The best way to protect ourselves, is to find ways to be well-balanced, at peace, and maintain a sound mind. We can do this by avoiding chemicals in our diet and the barrage of pharmaceuticals that are advertised daily through the various media outlets.
It is crucial to make critical thinking and intuition a vital part of both our external and internal assessments based on the information, or physical signals we are receiving. By doing so, we are not permitting our minds, or central nervous systems to be impacted in unknown ways by chemicals, or the fear that is introduced into our daily living.
In my opinion, we have to treat ourselves in an holistic manner with diet, exercise and relaxation techniques that work for us. A diet rich in plants, whole foods, and micronutrients takes longer to prepare, but it is well worth it as this is what contributes to gut health. The secondary components of a healthy gut extends to all organs of the body, especially the brain. This is how serotonin, melatonin, and dopamine is increased and regulated naturally within our systems.
The other helpful tip is to filter all things we read or watch in the news, and discard the sensationalism. We do live in perilous times. It is not a matter of sticking our heads in the sand. But at the same time we must realize the media is trying to shape our beliefs, so our reactions can be anticipated, and thus controlled.
The other factor to consider is how much competition is out there when it comes to social media influencers, political influencers, talking points, and the macabre interest we tend to have when it comes to violent crime. We can learn from it, and decide how we want to process it. We might get a can of bear spray in case someone breaks into our home to attack us. Or we might see the violent crime as distant from our own lives, and not something likely to impact us. Either way, it is a good idea to do what we can, and leave the rest to fate.
Remember the competition is fierce for our attention. It is human nature to be attracted to sensationalism, therefore those who are publishing, learn very quickly to add hyperbole to every publication. They add the drama, without even witnessing what they claim is happening. It is tough to see street level changes, and dangers, if you live in an ivory tower, and are insulated from reality.
We see a massive amount of sensationalism and fear mongering in mainstream media, but it is also just as ubiquitous in alternative media. Take Jordan Peterson as an example. Some of his talks are meaningful, or fairly truthful, yet most are full of sensationalism, hyperbole, and dire warnings of what is to come. How does he know the future? If he is a psychologist, it means he might know more about the state of a diseased mind. But how does he know everything about everything, from the law of attraction, to climate change and politics, and even the Bible?
Clearly he does not know everything. Oftentimes, I have viewed his wide variety of public lecture topics, and youtube titles, as being overly dramatic methods of getting attention. It certainly has gained him recognition, fame and money, so if that’s the main objective, he is a success. But is the information valid? Look at his history, and decide for yourself.
If we maintain self control, eat a healthy balanced diet, get exercise, take care of our sleep, reduce and manage chemicals introduced into our bodies, and find ways to relax and let go of fear – we can overcome tumultuous times. We already know that Jordan Peterson has not managed all of these things with aplomb and finesse. So once again, we are wise to use a filter on all things we ingest, to include the advice from experts.
No one has a perfect life free of anxiety. We spend more time worrying about the “what ifs” than anything else. Yes we could get attacked, get into an accident, have a stroke, face breakdown in relationships, and many other calamities. But when faced with the fear, ask yourself how valid it is. The other question is what can we do about it? Since we cannot control what other people think and do, we cannot base our mental health on the actions of other people.
If someone else is delusional or lying, it is their problem, not ours. We can only deal with our own mental health, not theirs (unfortunately). Lies do become entrenched over time, and tend to cause more damage as time goes by. But we cannot stop other people from lying, so we are best not to let it affect us, or at least minimize it.
Because of all the deception, we live in an era of mistrust and divisiveness. It is not abnormal to mistrust those who are being deceptive. But it is abnormal to mistrust everyone from the postal worker to the clerk at the dollar store. We have to develop a healthy method of assessment and discernment.
For instance, not that long ago, as I was walking down the street, I turned a corner and saw a man with a large knife who was carving or stripping the bark off a large tree branch to make a club. I literally had to walk right past him. But I could see that he was focused on what he was doing, and did not seem to be paying much attention to me. So I took a deep breath, and walked right by him, within a few feet of the obvious danger.
One thing I have noticed as an urban walker, is that many more people out there are carrying weapons. It is now a fact of life. It has only been in the past year or so that the bark stripped clubs are being carried openly. I have also witnessed near misses in knife attacks on the street.
Not long ago, a person was out walking down the street wearing a full length black wool coat in 32 degree afternoon heat, with a large hood up, dark glasses, and a large black mask. He was also carrying a double pronged pick-axe, and looked like a dead ringer for the grim reaper movie character. Why on earth a person would walk around like that is beyond comprehension. No wonder the police are so busy.
I could go on and on about all the things I have witnessed, just in the past three years. How do we know if it is safe to walk past someone who is screaming and cursing at the sky, or dressed like the grim reaper? Who is the rage and threat being directed at? It is truly becoming a jungle out there.
There are times to turn around, change your route, and/or immediately cross the street. Even so – we have to live our lives without being overcome by fear, and without letting the crazy behaviours take over normal life. The streets should not be given over to insanity, no more than we should allow our own minds to succumb to insanity. Courage is not easy to come by. I am a coward by nature, so courage and faith, is something I really have to work on.
We have to develop an intuitive sense of danger, without becoming totally paranoid. I believe that the more normal people who are out there, doing routine daily activities and errands, and the more urban walkers who venture out for exercise, the more likely we are to maintain a semblance of normalcy, in spite of the increased drug use and crime. Teenagers are still walking to school. Young moms are still out on the street pushing baby strollers. People still walk their dogs, and seniors still go out to buy groceries. These things are all a comfort to see, because they help maintain our perspective of stability and normalcy.
In all things, we need to be watchful, vigilant, and trust our intuitions. The same thing goes for our health. If we are not using any strong drugs to mask the symptoms, we will notice if we are getting sick. Whether it is inflammation, a sore throat, or a stress induced fear reaction, we need techniques to alleviate, rather than exacerbate those early symptoms.
Ah ha! It all boils down to a cup of chamomile tea! If only we could solve the problem with one thing, but we can’t. We have to incorporate peace of mind, and a method of returning to the peace of mind as quickly as possible once it is disrupted. We have to separate the wheat from the chaff, as well as discern whether or not the disruption poses a real existential threat.
The other thing to add to the lucidity curve is ongoing learning. If we keep learning, we are creating our own avenues for edification and clarity, by keeping an active mind. If we read lots, master difficult tasks, memorize passwords and login information, filter media information, research various subjects, and study history – we can continue to expand our horizons, even if we are limited in where we can go physically.
We each have our own individual life to lead, following a lineage, historical pathway, and destiny. It is all based on our seed, and whether it falls on good soil or rocky soil. It depends on nutrients and cultivation. Our destiny is tied to how much we can grow and flourish in a variety of conditions.
In my opinion, we should never give up and throw in the towel, regardless of how humble, fearful, or vulnerable we feel at times. Other human beings do not control our destiny, which is a good thing. Only our faith and beliefs control our ultimate destiny.
We can fall down in a multitude of ways throughout our lives, and still manage to get up and keep going. This is what makes people tough, as opposed to those who carry weapons and make threats. Meekness is far better to resort to than aggression. It lets us pass by, without attracting so much negative attention.
I suppose, there is a time to avoid conflict, and a time when we must face it square on. It’s good to know the difference, and how we might handle it in advance, so we are prepared. Sometimes we have to stand firm. Our very lives might depend on it.
We need a type of conflict checklist, so we can deal with it more effectively, and move on. It is also a way to help establish boundaries, and define what decisions are ours to make. It separates the things we are in control of from those things we have no control over. Once established, we are in a better position to stand firm. There comes a point where we do have to stand up for ourselves.
A certain level of servitude, especially when combined with oppression, will turn us into a doormat. So it must be true that respect is earned. Yet if we abhor dominance, ruthlessness, violence, and expensive legal conflicts – what does it leave us with?
Words. Just words, and thankfully words do have meaning. We have to stand up for the truth, especially concerning who we are, and where we came from. Our ancestry is tied to our future, not only for us, but for our children and future generations. We cannot accept or live a lie about the family we were born into. No one should be forced to deny their own family of origin. It is a deplorable conflict that no person should ever have to endure.
Chronic conflict creates chronic stress, which we do not need. If it is chronic, even our enemies don’t need more of it. If the person(s) pushing and manipulating the conflict have more power, and will not give it up – what can be done? Lies cannot prevail. They get many warnings, so patience is the only option. The escape from conflict means to seek peace, which is a relief.
Life is short, and living a good life is even shorter, because it takes us a long time to figure things out. Perhaps the greatest adumbration, is in living our entire lives in fear of dying. For what else do we fear most? Torture? Loss of function so we end up like vegetables, wearing diapers – with burnt out, miserable caregivers working on autopilot. Are we doomed to being drugged and warehoused in a facility somewhere? Financial failure and abject poverty drives some people to despair. Truthfully, our health is most important of all, to include our mental health.
Yes it is true. Some things are worse than death. Anyway, overcoming death is not our call. We have to live life, so death loses its power over us. Only then do we ask ourselves – why have so much fear of dying?
We must keep in mind that even the rich and the elite fear death. They too, can end up with a loss of physical or cognitive function. They may not face poverty in material things, but they might face a poverty of the soul. They also might have billions of dollars, yet still not feel secure or safe – or even happy.
Perhaps that is the greatest illusion of all. Humility does not abide in arrogance. But all arrogance will eventually face humility.
Therefore, in spite of the apparent anticlimax, humility of heart – can become a fearless friend.
We are best to change the notion of getting by on a lick and a promise ~ to having faith in a prayer and a promise. We don’t have to lick, we can kick the bad behind (us)!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Social media has a range of personalities and topics, and of course people can present themselves as they wish, or as they are – so to speak. But if a person is representing an entire profession, he/she should know that if they come across in an unprofessional or tacky manner, they are not doing themselves, or their profession any favours. Body language speaks volumes, sometimes more than what is actually said.
I have a background working as an RN, and thankfully, am out of the profession, and no longer maintain a membership, or an active license. Whew! Therefore I make these observations from a dispassionate distance. It is nothing personal.
Social media is online publishing, just as layout and design is publishing on a website, or in a magazine. Most of us are amateurs, but we can follow some basic guidelines, to help with appearances, and improve our credibility.
First of all, any nurse who is honest, and wants to sincerely speak out as a patient or nurse advocate, will be censored. If they are not being censored, you pretty much know they are parroting the government narrative, even though they might pretend to be onside with the nurses.
Even so, nurses are understandably looking for advice and support during troubling times. So what things (in my opinion) make a nurse appear unprofessional on social media?
Body language and appearance. Most image experts will tell professionals to dress appropriately, professionally, and consistently. A person who is self publishing wearing a sports bra one day, a T-shirt the next day, and business attire the following day – does not give a consistent or professional first impression.
Even if she is off duty and filming herself from home – if she is representing the profession, it is tacky to be wearing nothing but a sports bra to give an online presentation for all the world to see.
As far as dress code is concerned, if there is one thing I believe should be banned for all those giving direct care is gel nails, long nails, and nail polish. Gel nails cultivate bacteria in ways ordinary nails do not. They were traced back and identified as the cause of an infectious outbreak in a neonatal intensive care unit that led to thirty-six baby deaths.
Gel nails, chipped nail polish, and very long nails, cannot be properly cleaned between patients, and are likely to pierce through the end of latex gloves. Plus when you see a person with perfect long gel nails, you really wonder how they can care for patients without worrying about damaging their perfect nails.
The same thing applies to people giving cooking demonstrations. When you see the long nails with stars and little rhinestones on them, mixing up a recipe of raw hamburger with their hands, it is cringe-worthy from a health perspective.
If the camera is too close to the person’s face, so there is no white space, or background showing at all, it gives an “in your face” impression. Close-ups can also make a person look harsh and overbearing. Also, a person should be checking whatever is in the background, because people will notice the background too.
If the topics are not researched and presented well – it shows. A person who is talking about defending the entire profession of nursing is probably biting off more than she can chew.
If she gives a full episode on how she likes to wear her hair at work, it is seriously dumbing down the profession. Does she really believe anyone cares about her long hair, and how she manages her work day hair do? Nurses with long hair, pin it up. Nothing has changed in that regard in a hundred years.
If a person is not really a nurse, and yet uses the title on social media to pose as a nurse, it quickly becomes obvious that she has no clue about the profession. She could be subjecting herself to legal challenges from the College of Nurses in whatever jurisdiction she lives in. Most Colleges have a statute that restricts people from using the title nurse without proper qualifications.
Witch hunts and gossip about other nurses on a public forum, comes across as unprofessional. If a nurse is acting in the role of a whistleblower, she must only speak about things she has been a direct witness to – not gossip and heresy. She should be willing to give her full testimony in court, or in front of the College, if her concerns or observations are legitimate.
A nurse who gives opinions on health care topics published in the media, especially in cases where nurses are charged with crimes, she is simply giving an opinion. It has no more merit than any other personal opinion. No one has the right right to exacerbate the circumstances a nurse might find herself in, or circumvent due process.
If the nurse is asking for money to further a cause, delve into what she is offering in return. You might be wasting your money.
Beware of what we used to call “graditis”. It is a term nurses use to basically roll their eyes at those who are self-righteous, and full of pride over their own nurse status and accomplishments. They are often nowhere near as experienced and brilliant as they seem to think they are.
Foul language. Again, people can use whatever language they choose, but should be aware that if they are representing a profession, foul language reflects not only on them, but also on the profession as a whole.
It is one thing to stop and chat with a co-worker and swear about some frustrating situation. But if you are publishing something online, swearing and using foul language, is something you will “wear’ forever. Just like the sports bra and sexy nurse image, is something that won’t go away once it is published and shared a few thousand times.
Dumbing down. All of the above, have a tendency to dumb down a profession that is not full of dumb nurses, but has its fair share. Like all professions, nursing has a wide range of personality types and levels of intellect, honesty, and competency.
Not all nurses are sweet and caring. Some are mean-spirited and narcissistic. Some are very intelligent, and others are barely capable of tying their shoes. Some are lazy, and will put more effort into avoiding work than actually doing it.
There is no one size fits all in the profession. Since caregiving is becoming an increasingly valuable commodity, I think it is quite possible unions will become a thing of the past, and nurses will negotiate their own contracts based on their credentials, intelligence, and track record.
Hopefully that might help to separate the wheat from the chaff. But the way things are going – who knows? In the meantime, use good discernment, and judgement on social media.
Health care seems to have turned into a real jungle. Social media is not much better. You never know what might come back to bite you in the butt. Remember the old adage – CYA.
I do realize my website could use improvements too. No doubt many would call it old-fashioned. But at least a picture of a hat, is not going to kill anyone. C’est la vie!
opyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This appears to be an emerging trend in health care. Recent cases involving serious medication errors, led to charges of homicide. This is definitely a deterrent as far as attracting people to an already over-burdened health care system.
This post describes some general thoughts based on what I have read about these cases, and is just opinion, not related to anything other than my own experiences and observations over the years.
Most experienced nurses know that anyone can make a mistake. There are many contributing factors to the medical errors made in hospitals and various facilities. A huge part of it is trying to keep up with an unreasonable work load. This causes people to take multiple short cuts, including not taking the time to double check or look something up.
There are understandable mistakes, and there are mistakes that leave you wondering how on earth something like that could happen. For example, in an emergency situation, a person might answer an emergency call bell, and start an IV, using a bag of IV fluid that is hanging on an IV pole beside the patient.
The nurse may have been called to help in a dire emergency, and started the IV without realizing an anesthetic drug had been added to the bag. The bag may have been set up by an anesthetist, in anticipation of needing to intubate. Then he/she gets distracted, and leaves the IV pole and bag hanging beside the patient. This means it is a compounded error, not simply the fault of the nurse. We already know who is most likely to get the brunt of the blame though.
In such a case, the nurse who ran into the room and started the IV, may not have seen or read the label. Or the label may be scrawled, and she assumed it was something else. It is very common to add the drug Syntocinon to a bag of IV fluid for obstetrical emergencies, specifically postpartum bleeds. In fact, it would be an assumption since it is the most commonly used drug post delivery.
The nurse’s error would be to have assumed what was in the bag, without double checking. It is because it is what you would expect to be in the bag in that situation. She may have been called into similar situations in the past, and started the IV, when the drug she expected to be in the bag, was in the bag, and all was well. If it was not clearly labelled, and just had a big S and a scrawl using a black felt pen, the nurse could inadvertently give a bolus of an anesthetic drug to a maternity patient who is not only bleeding profusely, but is also not intubated. Once the drug is given, the patient is fully aware, but cannot breathe.
Another potential for errors, is in doing IV drug calculations. Although nurses do not have to do as many drug calculations as we did in the past, drug calculations are rife with errors. Some people cannot do simple math. It was not uncommon for certain nurses to miss a zero, and end up giving ten times the dose. In other cases, when you heard about or evaluated some of the errors made, you could not even figure out how they made such a colossal error in calculation. This is especially dangerous with neonates and infants.
I also think it is too much to expect a staff nurse to teach, mentor, or orient students, unless she is a qualified instructor, who is given the time it takes to watch over, and explain things to the newcomers. Mistakes are often made because the nurse is struggling to keep up with her own tasks, and may find a student, or the expectation to do staff orientations, to be an added stress and distraction.
Some nurses thrive on teaching, and others do not. Some are very organized and efficient. Others are disorganized and chaotic. There is a wide range of personality types. There is also an old school element that crops up, and is seen as archaic.
The bulk of errors involve oral medications, and often don’t do much harm. Now that the pharmaceutical companies calculate dosages, and set up the med carts so they are accessed by the primary care nurse, and individual medications are set up to be dispensed at the specified times – why would there still be oral medication errors? I seriously wonder if all the new and improved controls have actually improved things.
In fact, the errors seem to be worse and more catastrophic than ever. Is it because the new system of dispensing is faulty? Is it because there are so many glitches, they need an over ride just to give someone a Tylenol? We used to stand and pour the medications, taking each bottle of stock pills off a shelf, and adding it to the little cup of pills with just a med card in a slot with the patient’s name and room number. It was old fashioned, but it seemed to work.
After that method went out of style, they invented blister packs. In this case, the pills were on large cards, on big flip racks, arranged by patient name, and bed numbers. The nurse would punch out the pills for each person into a little cup, hand them out, observe the patient taking the pills, and then carry on to the next patient. What could be simpler?
It’s not so much the blister packs, or the medication dispensing carts, with a code to punch in the nurse’s ID when removing medications that leads to errors. The problem seems to be the glitches in the system, and the nurse’s inclination to over ride the system when she is in a rush.
There are mistakes that make you wonder how on earth it could happen. But to be charged with homicide, is enough to put the fear of God into a person. Lives can be destroyed in a matter of seconds.
To evaluate the recent cases that happened in the US, while trying to be open minded about the basic practices leading up to the errors: In the RaDonda Vaught case, she chose to over ride the medication dispensary checks and balances, likely because she was in a rush. Or it may have been a common practice in the facility, due to the hassle of accessing prn medications. It is not uncommon to have trouble finding what you are looking for, especially for new or causal staff. PRN means to give a drug when necessary, usually for pain or agitation.
When a patient is admitted, they get their medications set up by pharmacy. But in the case of one time doses, or prn medications for an outpatient or ER patient, the medication is typically taken from ward stock. In this fatal case, she took out the wrong medication called Vecuronium, which is an anesthetic paralytic drug, instead of the drug she was supposed to give called Versed, which is a benzodiazepine or tranquilizer, commonly used to relax and sedate a person.
The drug was also labeled in red to indicate it was a paralytic, but she must not have noticed the warning on the label. Or if she had minimal experience with the drugs, she might have thought Versed was an anesthetic drug, and perhaps correlated it as being a generic name. Sometimes Versed is used in conscious sedations, so she may have been inexperienced in her knowledge of the drugs, and assumed that Versed might be labelled as such. Versed can slow the respirations, but it certainly does not paralyze the muscles of the diaphragm. So she did miss some key warning signs.
Part of the problem in nursing education, is the number of names a drug can be known as. The nurse might be confused by the wide range of names used for the same drug. She might make fatal assumptions. Although it is difficult for most of us to put ourselves in her shoes, we can see how a fast-paced, highly complex system can go awry.
The nurse in question gave a patient who was anxious about going through a CT scan, a potent anesthetic drug, as opposed to a minor tranquilizer. After giving the paralytic drug, she did not go back and check on her patient. It would have probably been too late, even if she did check her within fifteen minutes, because Vecuronium paralyses the muscles of the diaphragm so the patient cannot breathe. She would have needed to be intubated immediately. She could have been saved if someone had the presence of mind to manage her airway with a bag and mask, until they were able to get her intubated.
The explanation of medical errors being like the lining up of the holes in Swiss cheese, with numerous factors or mistakes, one after another, that led to a tragic outcome for the patient, seems to apply to these cases. The nurse did admit her mistakes, and has shown remorse. Clearly it was not an intentional error. As a consequence, she was sentenced to three years probation, and cannot work as a nurse again.
In another recent case in the US, a nurse was charged with homicide for giving an agitated patient a drug (again it was Versed aka Midazolam) to sedate the patient. This is a different situation. In this case, she was assigned to help with or take care of a 97 year old patient who was difficult to manage, confused and distressed.
The nurse called the GP for an order to sedate the patient, and the GP refused to give an order. She then asked a nurse practitioner for the order, and was refused again. Some of the nurse comments made on FB attributed the refusal to give an order, is because often the elderly do not tolerate benzodiazepine drugs well, and/or the possibility that the patient was being monitored for a head injury due to a previous fall.
However, the use of benzodiazepines in LTC is very high regardless. In fact, the growth in the use of benzos in LTC has grown exponentially since covid started, and they were overused prior to covid. So in this case, it is rather difficult to understand why the GP or NP did not assess the patient, and give appropriate orders.
This one seems to be a case of medical ethics, and power struggles. The nurse, being unable to get the order to settle the patient, took matters into her own hands, quite literally. In order to get access to the medication without an order, she went and took it out of the med cart under a different patient name. She somewhat surreptitiously drew up 2 mg. of Versed and went and gave it to the agitated patient.
She drew attention to the fact she was giving him a drug by claiming to be flushing his IV, yet it was noted she was using a different size syringe than one normally uses to flush IVs. When questioned about it, she replied that she gave him “something special”. In addition, the patient calmed down considerably after she gave the two mg. of Versed.
After that, she went and asked another nurse to watch her waste the Versed that she claimed to draw up for the previous patient. She told her colleague the patient had requested it, and then refused it. She did this as a cover to explain why the other patient did not receive the drug, even though it had been dispensed. She must have had the witness watch her discard normal saline, or possibly the unused portion of what was dispensed. It was all rather cagey by the sounds of things. It is hard to understand why she took such a chance, and placed both the patient and herself at risk. Not to excuse what she did, but she must have been fed up with trying to manage him.
One of the supposed safeguards and standard medication rules in nursing, is that certain drugs, namely narcotics, must be witnessed and co-signed, if they are wasted. So once again, we can see where this nurse did a series of things to get her self into hot water. But was it homicide?
As it turned out, the patient was fed sometime after the drug was administered, then aspirated food, and unfortunately died five days later. After he was sedated, he should have been put to bed and turned on his side, never mind feeding him. But hindsight has little benefit, especially when what he did receive was not charted, because there was no order to give it legitimately. So anyone called in to evaluate his change of condition, would not have had a clue what caused him to aspirate. When the chart was checked, there would not have been any indication that the medication had been given to him.
The biggest question that came to mind for me, is “what if she did get the order as requested”? It would be a non event. After all, it is not uncommon for 97 year old patients to die. He may have aspirated and died anyway. He may have had a brain bleed. Who knows?
The real issue is why there was such a disconnect between the nurse’s judgement, her actions, and the outcome? If she really was trying to kill him, she could have used any number of other drugs like insulin or a cardiac drug. It sounds like she had justified in her own mind that he needed this medication, and did not accept her role as being the one to administer, not order the medication. She was dishonest, but yet somewhat brazen as well.
To give an alternative view on this incident, although it is certainly not something to condone, we still have to look at the Swiss cheese type shortfalls. Personally, when someone was extremely distressed and out of control, I would hound the GP to come and assess the patient, and give some orders to alleviate the distress. Sometimes to get an order, a nurse has to go through a few hoops, and be persistent.
Many times, there is a power struggle between doctors and nurses. Certain doctors over medicate, and certain others will not give an order to sedate a patient, even if they are palliative and in a lot of pain. One thing for certain, is that many health care professionals do not realize when a patient transitions from being a LTC or acute care patient, to becoming palliative. There tends to be more mercy, and comfort measures for palliative patients.
By all means, it is awful to sedate the elderly just to keep them from making demands. In addition, there is a long list of medications that should not be used for chronic conditions in the older population. The use of antipsychotics for instance, is a nasty trend. Personally I believe the poly pharmaceuticals in LTC does far more harm than good.
But – when a person transitions to palliative, and/or is showing signs of severe distress and agitation – shouldn’t they be given something to alleviate their distress? She had no right to take matters into her own hands, but it does sound like the GP and nurse practitioner who withheld the orders, may not have done a proper assessment.
There is a gap in recognizing what is manageable and what is unmanageable. The nurse, being the one who has to do the direct patient care, seeks solutions or cuts corners. Right or wrong, that is what happens.
In fact it seems like the more controls they have put into the medication administration systems, the worse it becomes. Nurses quickly learn to over ride the system. Making a habit of doing so – is bound to lead to tragic outcomes.
One of the obvious problems is the workload. It is beyond the criteria contained within the standards of practice. Therefore you have the standards, and various policies versus reality.
A blanket defence to cover all nursing errors, is not feasible or desirable, because some of them are pretty outrageous. Most nurses do not make intentional mistakes, or over ride several checks and balances to get something done. So the mistakes or bad judgement of a few, should not taint the rest.
Another recent case reported in the news, involved a rookie nurse crushing up oral medications and putting them into the IV. It’s hard to even imagine how she managed to do that. Apparently she did not make it to first base in her critical thinking skills. Such mistakes, hopefully – are few and far between.
The number of mistakes made, including the even greater number of unreported mistakes, does warrant an overhaul. First of all, there are way too many names for one drug. They vary from generic names, to the trade names, and often have overlapping similarities to the names of other classes of drugs.
To give an example, a couple of OTC meds people might be familiar with; Gravol has the generic name dimenhydrinate, and Benadryl has the generic name diphenhydramine. You can see how a person might become confused, if she is looking at different drugs with very similar names, and often a multitude of different brand names. That is one of the problems contributing to medication errors.
Another contributing factor is the need to over ride, or the practice of doing so to save time. This is a responsibility of the facility if it is common practice.
Another key contributor to making errors is the attitude or expectation that nurses and doctors should be equipped and knowledgeable in all circumstances. It is difficult to admit to not knowing what you are doing. The old adage “fake it til you make it” is a part of the system, like it or not.
Back in the sixties and early seventies, nurses did about one third of their education in clinical practice at the bedsides. It got to the point where student nurses where being exploited as cheap labour. This was seen as undermining the profession, and not the best use of the educational dollars. Nursing education became increasingly theoretical and academic, with less and less time spent doing direct patient care.
The problem is, direct patient care involves all kinds of intricate procedures, not just a knowledge of medication, but things that you need to know. It might be sterile technique in accessing central lines, or something as small as which way to turn a three way stopcock. There are many things a nurse must do that can be lethal if she does not know what she is doing.
From a nurse’s perspective, always err on the side of caution. The time it takes to double check something is of far less consequence than getting charged with murder. Always get an order. It is not uncommon for nurses in remote and rural areas, to give a drug to a patient in the middle of the night, so they don’t have to wake the doctor on call.
Then typically the nurse would get a “cover order” in the morning, and if all was well, the doctor would give the order, and graciously thank her for not calling him. This may not be a common practice in the US, but it certainly has been a common practice in Canada.
My view on it was to always get the order, never mind taking such chances. For what? So you don’t wake the doctor up, because he might be snarky and miserable? Too bad. He/she is on call for a reason, and you would be dumb to assume they would give you a cover order if things went sideways.
From a patient’s perspective, know what you are being given. Ideally all patients should have an advocate, or family member at their bedside to help oversee their care, and to question anything that seems off. No one should administer a drug without telling the patient what it is for. If the patient is concerned, withhold it, double check, explain it, and call the doctor if it is not clear. It is also important to let the patient know they have a right to refuse it. If you act in their best interests and pay attention to their concerns, you are far less likely to make a mistake. In fact, if you take heed to even the slightest discrepancy, it may protect both patient and nurse from making a fatal error.
Overall, if an organization has multiple medication errors, they need to seriously evaluate the system. Yes professionals do need to take a certain amount of personal responsibility, especially if they veer off acceptable standards. But it is a systemic problem, if there is not sufficient time or resources to cover for inexperience, and making exceptions to the rule.
The bravado, and the expectation to be cool as a cucumber under duress, as a demonstration of competency, is not a good thing to cultivate. The systems are overloading health care workers. It has been going on for years.
Without a doubt, the addition of all the covid protocols, PPE, and added stressors, have precariously overloaded an already broken system. Most nurses are appalled at the thought of making a serious error. They live in fear of getting thrown into a situation they do not know how to handle, and therefore are vulnerable to making an error.
Perhaps the biggest contributing factors when it comes to medication errors, is fatigue, stress, and burn-out. A person can easily be legally impaired due to lack of sleep, constantly changing shifts – often being awake for twenty four hours at a time. This is far more common than people realize. If a nurse does two twelve-hour day shifts, followed by two twelve-hour night shifts, it means when switching from days to nights, she is working a night shift with just a nap. Keep in mind that many nurses also have small children to care for during those switchover days.
How many people could function with full cognitive faculties and alertness for a twelve hour night shift without sleep? Yet that is the norm and expectation in nursing. You do the two day shifts, and then try to get a nap in on the day you switch to nights. Unless a nurse takes sleeping pills, it is unlikely she can sleep for eight hours during the day, when for the previous days, she was awake and working during the day.
On a practical level, all medication carts and med rooms should have mounted magnifiers, and light loupes, to be able to clearly see the labels, warnings, and print on a medication vial. One of the things I distinctly remember as a young nurse, was being asked by older nurses, to check what the fine print said on the medication vials.
The importance of accurate charting cannot be stressed enough. The chart is the legal document, and is what is used if there is a court case, or investigation. If a nurse forgets to chart something she did, she cannot verify whether she did it or not. Charting is often neglected because patient care is a priority, but nurses should stand firm, and get their charting done, even if it involves overtime pay.
But the idea of being charged with homicide for mistakes, or criminalized for unfavourable patient outcomes, brings things to a whole new level of stress in the profession. I think this type of trend will increase the mass exodus from the profession, and also increase the trepidation in entering the profession.
For those of us who have worked in the role of an RN, and know how crazy busy it can be, we are just thankful not to have to endure the covid trials. I like many others, am so glad to be out of the profession. What a fiasco. They have my sympathy, and let’s hope the homicide charges are few and far between.
As far as mistakes go, in all honesty, every retired nurse, and all experienced nurses – have witnessed some humdingers!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This is another hotly debated and controversial topic in Christian theology. It has also been the focus of many cults, as well as various religious and Christian interpretations of the Bible.
It is very common for people to interpret the Bible based on what they want it to say. In addition, the language translations vary, and quite often the punctuation, or lack of it – makes all the difference in the world. Also, the portion of the sentence with emphasis, can alter the meaning. Even minor alterations to the Bible can lead people down a rabbit hole, instead of the truth.
There are mysteries contained within the Bible that will be revealed in due time, so we have to be patient. Regarding the question of whether or not the soul stays alive when the body dies, we are given many verses that do refer to the souls being asleep.
Many preachers will vehemently deny this regardless of the verses that describe the period of time between death and Christ’s return.
On one extreme, there are those who believe that dead souls roam the earth, and can be contacted by psychics, or other mediums. Some believe the soul stays with the bones and/or can haunt their oppressors. Others believe the soul dies completely when the person dies.
The way I interpret it, is that there is no further contact with earth or the people of the earth once a person dies. I don’t believe they can communicate with people at all. Several verses reinforce the fact they are not doing much but waiting and resting. And they do sleep, because there are many such references. There are also verses to indicate they can be roused.
The only times the souls are roused is based on God, not some other entity. Those who try to conjure up communication with the dead, are dealing with spirits instead. And since they are not of God, they can be very deceptive, and are not to be meddled with.
The only times the dead are roused, is based on various miracles of God, and what is happening in heaven. People on earth have no power over the dead, in any way. Of course we can embrace the personality, the memories, and the love for those who die, and all the good they brought to us. But we have no control over where they are, or where they went. We know we will be reunited some day, but that’s all.
The basic description is that the wicked dead go to one location, and the righteous dead go to another location. The notion of the soul leaving the body is not new. Almost all people who describe near death experiences, describe their soul leaving, hovering, and then going somewhere.
But sticking to what the Bible has to say, it does describe a great chasm or distance between the two groups of people. It does not say people automatically go to heaven or the torment of hell. it just describes Hades, or Sheol or Hell to be a holding place of some sort.
Obviously it is not a holding place for dead bodies, because our bodies do return to the dust, or to ash. Over the years, working as an RN I saw enough people die to know beyond a doubt that their soul and spirit leave the body.
The way I envision it – based on the various Bible verses and observations, is that our souls do leave our bodies and go somewhere to a resting place of some sort. God is in charge of where we go. There is no immortality concept that makes us immortal outside of God’s decisions. Those who believe it is blasphemy to believe the soul does not die with the body, are not giving us credit for the fact we fully acknowledge who is in charge of our souls. We can trust Him too.
If the soul dies when the body dies, why would there be a need to have Hades or Sheol? Why all the descriptions about the soul going there, if the soul is dead? If that were the case, wouldn’t all people just stay dead in their graves, until Christ’s return? What is Hades for then? Who resides there? Think of the people who died 5000 years ago. That’s a long wait!
In my own estimation, based on the text I have read thus far, the soul does leave the body. But it is only to be taken to the assigned resting place, and does not hover long near the earth. Nor is it intended for people to try to stay in touch with the dead. Most of the time, the dead know nothing. There are some verses that show they can be stirred up, and made aware of something, but they are not working, planning, or doing much of anything but waiting.
The answer in my opinion to this age old question, is both yes and no. Yes the soul is immortal for those who believe in God, accept Christ, repent, and then keep His commandments. And for those who do not, their souls are immortal until the final judgement day. No one but God has the power to destroy the soul.
At some point in the future, the whole world will be full of the knowledge of God. The time is near. Again, this is for the believer in a young earth. Part of the problem with interpreting the meaning of certain things in the Bible, is the overly literalistic view, or the other extreme – a loose metaphorical, supernatural angle, applied to everything. It is neither, and it is both.
The Bible has both literal meaning, and enhancing poetic frameworks. We simply do not have the scope of human history, or the knowledge of the fullness of God’s plan to fully understand it. It is the reason faith is so important in this journey we have all embarked upon.
According to the young earth theory, which does not have much acceptance in a secular world, but regardless, if time is traced back, and anchored to certain historical events, the earth is around six thousand years old. Many also believe that in a parallel concept to the world being made in six days and on the seventh day, God rested, that after the six thousand year time frame, the era of the millennial reign is soon to be ushered in.
We are in perilous times, but also very interesting, and exciting times. The topic of death has never before been so front and centre, as it has been this past couple of years.
To help alleviate anxiety on the topic, it is a good idea to study the Bible, or delve into whatever belief system you hold on the topic. It is something many people ignore, yet is is the most important aspect of the human condition and existence. The entire Gospel is about the ultimate victory over death. It casts out fear.
To help prove the existence of Hades or Sheol, and where some people go when they die, here is a verse from the KJV Bible to ponder. To me, it is another verse to confirm the dead can be awakened from time to time. But they don’t control it, God does. Below the verse I copied a portion of the context ascribed to this text. In this case, it is very descriptive regarding the destiny for wicked leaders.
“Hell from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming: it stirreth up the dead for thee, even all the chief ones of the earth; it hath raised up from their thrones all the kings of the nations.” Isaiah 14:9
“All they shall speak and say unto thee, Art thou also become weak as we? art thou become like unto us? 11Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of thy viols: the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee. 12How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!”
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2022). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The scope of micronutrients in food and herbs is vast. The polar opposite is just as expansive. When you take a tour around a large supermarket, it demonstrates the range of what people eat. The supermarkets have a wide selection of packaged food. Not all of it is unhealthy, but a good percentage of it is not exactly nutrient dense.
To embark on a whole food diet, it simply means to eat fresh produce, lean meats and fish. But convenience over rides the cooking from scratch habits. It takes longer to chop vegetables than it does to order a pizza. Since our world has slowed down, and people are confined to home more, it is a good time to nurture ourselves with healthier foods and food habits.
I have often grown two or three herbs, but never placed a major focus on using them every day, in multiple different ways. Nor did I do a great deal of research on the individual herbs from a health perspective. I used ginger and turmeric, oregano, rosemary, basil and garlic mainly.
This year I grew numerous herbs, and have made a point of using them every day. The list includes mint, rosemary, tarragon, oregano, thyme, sage, chives, chamomile, dill, basil, parsley and cilantro. By growing the fresh herbs and using them often, it is quite economical. Later in the fall, they can be cut down and dried for tea.
For example, if you buy fresh dill at the grocery store, it is around $2.50 a bunch. The herbs are packaged in a plastic container, and may not be very fresh. They certainly won’t be as fresh as the ones you snip straight from the plants. Plus when you buy it packaged, you may not use it all, and a portion of it ends up getting thrown out. When you grow it, you only take what you need for the recipe. They can be grown in any sunny location, including in containers on balconies and decks.
In doing even a cursory bit of research, I learned each one of them is loaded with a wide variety of nutrients and antimicrobials. They also flower, and are quite aromatic to work around. They add a wonderful array of flavours, and scents to whatever you add them to. Many go great with boiled eggs. You can add them to salads, soups and sauces, and even make medicinal and healing products, foot soaks etc.
With all the news about health, and fear over maintaining health – combined with the increasing food costs, it is wise to learn more about nutrition, and put more time into food preparation. From husking and freezing fresh corn, to baking our own bread, this aspect of change can be a positive one.
The best we can do is to reduce waste, grow what we can, and use as many unpackaged whole foods as possible. All things need washing, preparation and chopping. The good thing about it, is that it is enjoyable to handle fresh produce. It’s especially awesome if it is local produce, brought in by the truckload, and there it is, BC produce, in a big pile right from the field, at the local grocery store. Corn and apples are the most common and abundant in this area. The kale is plentiful this year, but for some reason the fresh garden peas have been absent from the shelves.
In my opinion, concentrated supplements in pill form, can be quite dangerous. Fresh herbs used in cooking, delivers a more balanced range of micro nutrients, as opposed to trying to boost specific vitamins, like the recent vitamin D trend. I think it is better to get sunlight, and eat foods with vitamin D.
Our bodies are complex, and every enzyme and nanoparticle is dependent on the absorption of another. There is an intricate balance to be maintained. When we digest real food, our body has the innate ability to extract the nutrients, and direct them to where they are needed. If we add a certain enzyme or vitamin in large amounts, it may upset the balance, get excreted, or possibly even become toxic for the liver or kidneys.
The nutrients and anti microbial benefits of micro greens, opens up a whole new world in food preparation. In my opinion, the use of fresh herbs not only helps build and restore the immune system, but also helps prevent or heal infections, increase metabolic energy levels, and enhances the gut health and mood.
Closely related to the use of fresh culinary herbs, essential oils, derived from plants and trees, are also very positive additions to daily routines. Recently I read that rosemary oil is being used to enhance memory. I love the smell of rosemary, marjoram and many others. But I don’t like the smell of Neem and tea tree oil, both of which are good disinfectants. Neem can be added to a bit of coconut oil and used as mosquito repellant. I have also read Neem is good for many skin conditions.
For those of us who want to stay away from pharmaceuticals, including OTC medications, this herbal health concept is not new. However, now is a good time to take a renewed interest, in how to make food full of good benefits for people of all ages. It gives us some avenues to help maintain our autonomy over our health, and keep ourselves healthy in a holistic way.
In my experience so far, the addition of the herbs, and the range of essential oils, has reduced the iritis flare ups, and improved my vision. If the benefits in relation to a chronic condition are noticed within a few months, it convinces me that adding these extra plant derivatives – is probably helping in other ways too.
It just goes to show you – the little things in life can make a big difference!
