Floriography ~ Is The Language Of The Flowers

July 30, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

I am so thankful for the flowers this year. It is no wonder the Victorian era created the language of the flowers by attributing meanings and symbolism to flowers. They could speak emotions that were too painful , or sometimes too insulting, to put into direct conversation.

Chrysanthemums are thought to be for funerals, but each colour has its own meaning. Red ones proclaim love, yellow represent slighted or spurned love, and white ones represent truth.

When you look at the long list of meanings, one bouquet of flowers could say a lot! Tall sunflowers represent false pride and riches, phlox means our souls unite, petunias represent resentment and anger.

Alyssum means worth beyond beauty. Dahlias represent dignity and elegance, while delphiniums speak to a flight of fancy. Roses are associated with love, but they too have different meanings according to colour. White roses represent purity and innocence, peach show gratitude and sincerity, the yellow ones depict friendship and the red ones – love.

This year I planted chocolate cosmos, mostly for the sound of their name – like a chocolate latte. I wanted to find out if they really did smell like chocolate, and sure enough they do. They grow on long spindly stems, which makes the velvety little flowers dance about in the breeze. Apparently they are among the top ten rarest plants in the world.

A fragrance garden is like being given a whiff of subtle beauty – masterfully evasive and lingering only long enough to be appreciated. You cannot capture it, you can only pay attention. The delicate blend of fragrances, from many different types of flowers is as calming as meditation, and as exhilarating as a waft of love in the air.

Just when a batch of lilies fades and drops its petals, the dahlias and sunflowers burst into bloom. Meanwhile, the impatient plants, zinnias, heliotrope, and roses bloom steadily for months. The more time you spend with them, the more they flourish.

In most cases I would not give much credence to the Victorian meanings nowadays, other than for the sake of interest, romanticism and nostalgia. I would never associate petunias with resentment, or sunflowers with false pride, other than the fact they are tall, with bright flowers.

The beauty, colour, fragrance, and liveliness of the flower garden sings as opposed to speaking. When it comes to the law of attraction, flowers are huge attracters of positive energy. They give us a double burst of the sun’s energy. If they are happy where they are planted or placed, they can be prolific bloomers.

Flowers do have expression and vibrancy. Like most living things, they respond to nurturing and attention. Since we are traveling less, more people are taking time to smell the roses. Time spent in the midst of flowers is like a mini vacation.

Free Will & The Crux Of Moral Responsibility

April 3, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

The question of free will and the dilemma surrounding moral responsibility has been debated since the beginning of time. The belief in free will has underpinnings in divergent belief systems, both religious and philosophical.

Although some people believe the elements of free will are in the scientific realm, specifically biology and physics – I tend to believe that we are greater than the sum of our parts, so to speak. For instance, hooking up electrodes to the brain to show how we command ourselves to lift an arm, gives interesting insight into the brain, from decision making to muscle coordination. But it does nothing to address the intellect and emotion that drives complex decision-making.

Free will, to me, more importantly involves motive and intent. It stems from our mind and spirit, which is the part of us that leaves our physical bodies when we die. Our mind formulates morality, and is much greater and more ethereal than our physical brain. Some people do not believe human beings have souls or spirits. Therefore to them death is final, and without any kind of experiences beyond death.

Alternatively, we can choose to believe that the soul leaves the body and travels into the spiritual realm. Our beliefs are part of free will. We do not have to believe in life after death. We have no tangible way to prove it anyway. Therefore it is a belief born of free will, which does help to anchor the existence and importance of free will.

If one believes that free will is primarily physical, in that it gives us command over the functions of our bodies as we go about our daily routines – then free will (and all existence) dies when the physical body dies.

Under this physical and scientific belief system, free will is also severely affected, if parts of our bodies become injured or malfunction. But how can free will be free will – if it has constraints imposed upon us that are against our will? This further reinforces to me that free will is not tied to physicality.

One of the reasons I believe free will goes well beyond the physical realm is because it cannot be consistently applied to the functions of the physical body. For instance a paralyzed person may form the intent and choose to lift his or her leg, but it will not happen. There is no mind over matter when it comes to certain situations.

In my opinion, free will does apply to our physical bodies, but only to a certain extent. The essence of free will is within us. However our mind is not confined to our brain – and our sight is not confined to our eyes. Otherwise people would not be able to describe near death experiences. Likewise, intuition and prophetic visions have no physical explanations. Yet time and time again, we see examples of both.

The concept of fate and predestiny complicates our understanding of free will. How can we have free will if everything has already been decided? That’s the toughest question of all.

The first dilemma surrounding the belief in free will, is to decide if it is purely physical (scientific, biological, physics) from brain to action, with the sole purpose of directing how we function. The question that comes to mind if this is the case, is whether or not the genetic makeup, circumstances, and early life experiences cause one to have genetically pre-determined outcomes. So that pretty much eradicates the notion of free will. How can there be moral responsibility if there is no free will?

If it is true that everything has been predetermined, how can we also have free will? Free will is about making choices. Those choices are driven by both good and bad motives. The good motives would be fairness, consideration of others, helpfulness, dedication, hard working, constructive, being kind, loving, compassionate, forgiving, humble, law-abiding etc.

The bad motives are things like selfishness, disregard for the rights of others, harmful, accusatory, dishonest, greedy, mean, unlawful, exploitive, deceptive, arrogant, and so on.

If things are predetermined according to a divine plan – perhaps it is because we do not understand the overall plan. Therefore free will applies to our level of understanding and is hinged to our beliefs. This might explain how fate and free will can co-mingle in the bigger scheme of things.

There has never been a time in our lives, regardless of our age, where we have been faced with the dilemma of moral responsibility – than we are right now. The covid outbreak has rocked the world, and is testing our previous stance on the importance of free will, autonomy and self-determinism.

Without free will, there can be no moral responsibility. Without morality, we become depraved. Now is the time to evaluate our belief systems surrounding free will, because our democracy, common decency, and hope for rebuilding a stable economy are depending on our most deep-rooted belief systems.

We can no longer overlook or deny how interconnected we are, as we navigate our lives and the role we play during the short time we are here on this earth. The existence of an after-life probably means that we have some unfinished business – once we do make our final exit.

At least free will allows us to freely explore, on an intellectual and spiritual level, where it is we might be headed! Are we truly the captain of our own ships? Only until we hit a big storm or iceberg! But surely, nothing would stop us from doing our level best at steering that ship and trying to save ourselves. The death-defying enigma is that the essence of living, is ultimately found in how we face dying.

Yet hope is always something we can cling to – even though it can be as elusive as wrestling the wind…

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coronavirus Helps Us Face Ourselves ~ & Our Own Mortality

March 27, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

The dramatic changes visited upon us by the coronavirus this year, have such far-reaching effects – we cannot even begin to fathom what is to follow.

We are getting daily updates through news feeds giving instructions on self-isolating, social distancing, hand washing and sanitizing, introduction of new laws to ensure compliance, and sweeping changes to lifestyles all over the world.

Most of us have not seen anything like this in our own lifetimes. Only those who have memories or anecdotal family stories around the Spanish flu of 1918, can share the sense of fear and sadness as one funeral procession after another crawled down the empty streets.

We do not like the constant reminder of our own mortality. It is a topic that can usually be avoided, with the exception of those who are in the unfortunate position of deciding to turn off ventilators and let people die. Every family must eventually face the loss of a loved one, yet until it happens, most people do not know what to expect.

Other than wills and life insurance, we don’t give much thought to DNR (do not resuscitate) orders when we are young and able bodied. Even for an aging population, medical language with unfamiliar terms, is difficult to follow. We are inclined to expect doctors or caregivers to have standards and follow them. Doctors often end up relying on family members to find out what the dying person would want. In some cases, there are differences and conflicts that arise between family members surrounding end of life decisions. It is better for the individual facing death, to discuss and document these plans ahead of time.

In the past, when long term care patients became acutely ill, they were transferred to an acute care hospital by ambulance. Once seen and assessed in the ER, they would either be admitted, or treated and sent home. Now with the coronavirus being spread throughout LTC facilities, we have to ask how prudent it is to be transferring long term care patients to acute care. However, we cannot lose sight of the fact that under the Canada Health Act, all people are supposed to have equal access to acute care hospitals.

This means that the burden of responsibility is on the cognitively intact elderly population, to make it clear what kind of directives to follow if there is serious and life-threatening illness to contend with. In addition to the basic DNR orders and forms, surely this is the time to learn about and set up Advanced Care Directives that suit our own values and wishes for end of life care. Some people refer to these plans as Living Wills.

In addition to permitting people to have some control over end of life decisions, it makes it easier for family members and the health care system to make decisions about care. In addition, perhaps one of the most important aspects of this pandemic is to find ways to selflessly help reduce burden on front line health care workers.

One of the biggest hurdles for people when it comes to creating Advanced Care Plans is addressing the questions and broader perspectives surrounding the whole topic of death and dying, due to fear and avoidance. The other barrier is a lack of familiarity with medical terms and procedures. Then there are the legalities surrounding the creation of such a document, how and where it will be filed so it is accessible to the system when needed.

Although I do have my own beliefs about end of life care for myself, I understand my own beliefs are highly individual. From a very basic and fundamental perspective, I believe in upholding human rights, individual choice, and autonomy in all facets of life.

Adversity holds a seed of an equal or greater benefit. Our awareness, along with time spent at home to reflect – gives us an opportunity to create a plan, discuss it with family members and put it in place. Planning helps us feel like we have some control, when things seem to be spiralling out of control.

It looks like there are some massive changes underway in health care, with more dramatic changes on the horizon. I hope those plans include a registry for Advanced Care Plans, along with guidelines on how to create and file them.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Self – Isolate ~ Things To Do

March 12, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

Maybe the first inclination while staying home is to disinfect and wash everything in sight. I always feel like cleaning with hot soapy water and a splash of bleach when there are infections near by. But after the zest for cleaning wears off – then what? We live in a fast-paced world, especially young families. When suddenly there is nothing to do and nowhere to go – it is a shock to the system. What? Nowhere to go?

Through anecdotal observations I have concluded that too much TV makes people grumpy, especially kids, and popsicles will make kids start bouncing off the walls. Seriously, ice cream is nowhere near as bad as popsicles are. There is a range of badness in junk food. The trick is to figure out how to get the best of the worst food – when it comes to temptation and treats.

So with the goal of avoiding too much TV and artificially coloured junk food – the sky is the limit on what you can do at home. Everything from macro photography to drawing and painting, including computer art, to photo editing and cooking. It’s not so bad to be stuck at home if you have relaxing creative projects to work on.

Working from home is something we all do, whether we view it as such or not. It’s not just the cooking and cleaning, but many of us work online, or have jobs that make it feasible to work from home. Maybe some of the viral trends will include more opportunities to work from home since it decreases the commute and carbon footprint as well.

I did read a news article warning us that staying home meant an increased use of energy. Although there was no empirical data to support the claim, it is unlikely that people who stay home would use more energy since they are not driving (big one), and are not shopping and socializing as much, parking, getting in and out of vehicles, and sitting in heated offices all day, with all the infrastructure around them.

A house or apartment has to be kept at a certain temperature in cold weather, even if no one is home. Plus the fridge, stove, bathroom, garbage pick-up, water, etc. are already in place. The only daily increase in energy would be if the heat was turned up. Even if people cook more, it just means they eat out less, not that the consumption changes.

Music is another pastime that can be very rewarding – especially if it involves learning, playing, or practicing an instrument. Music and meditation will boost both the mood and the immune system.

The funny thing about being at home is that it makes it homier. Just our presence in our home warms it up. It’s the little things that count, whether it is fresh sheets or home made soup. Movie nights with popcorn, or sitting by the fire crocheting a blanket, brings us closer to our own nesting nature. Human nature can be self-reassuring. We can readily go back to our roots.

We live in a time where having a home and place to self-isolate is something to be grateful for. The idea of being quarantined in a tiny cabin in the central aisle of a cruise ship is a big deterrent to taking a cheap cruise for a winter holiday. Best to get a balcony suite and try not to fall off it. Being quarantined on a cruise ship is kind of like the thought of being stuck in an elevator, except it goes on and on and on.

Other than to try to keep yourself healthy and care for your immune system, it is worthwhile knowing that antibiotics are not effective when it comes to treating viruses. The old fashioned advice to drink clear fluids, eat whole foods, and get plenty of rest, is probably still the best advice.

There are articles about the need for more ventilators, but the average person is not likely to need a ventilator, at least let’s be optimistic and hope not! It is a late stage, life saving measure. Even if they buy more ventilators for every hospital – they still need staff who are trained to operate them.

For the most part, ventilators are limited to ICU, OR, and people with spinal cord trauma. Patients on ventilators require 1:1 nursing care. They would need more respiratory therapists and ICU trained nurses. So let’s hope they don’t buy them without having anyone to operate them. They would sit in a storage room until the warranty wears off. No point in stockpiling ventilators.

Stockpiling is an interesting human reaction to perceived crisis. It shows how responsive we are to the media. First it was masks, then hand sanitizer, followed by canned goods, and then a frenzy of stock piling toilet paper. Costco was sold out. No more snacks there either. Aw what a bummer.

Apparently the underlying psychology surrounding the mass buying of toilet paper is about fear. The fear of loss of control – even though the virus is respiratory in nature, people tend to find tangible ways to help themselves feel in control. I guess that sort of makes sense – even though it is not that logical, and creates a huge glitch when it comes to the previously predictable supply and demand.

The fact that the coronavirus started spreading at a time when there has been civil unrest and large rallies all over the world, with masses of emotionally charged people – it is probably time to simmer down and take stock. We all have a right to peaceful protest, but there is a great deal of risk when it comes to riots and violence. Plus there are boundaries to be kept -and it seems to be a real pain to keep those boundaries. I have always found it stressful to be in large crowds – therefore I don’t see the attraction.

No one knows what the future holds. Just a few short months ago no one had ever heard of this virus. We were all in a tizzy about the house being on fire. It better not be – we have to stay home and chill out. Suddenly we went from doomsday environmental prophesy to a global pandemic. From carbon emissions to viral emissions – we are forced to smarten up.

Throughout history there have been hundreds of apocalyptic visions, rants, fears, and situations where people thought it was the end. But here we are. If we did not read the papers, we would not even know we are in a crisis.

The biggest difference between this one and the Spanish flu in 1918 is that the people who described the Spanish flu explained how it directly affected their own lives, families and communities. There were so many funeral processions, they kept their blinds closed.

In Europe during the plague, they forced people who they thought were infected into underground cities. In Edinburgh Scotland, they have access points with signs like “Mary’s Close”. They are little doors in alleyways that take you to those interconnected mazes, in dank underground locations. Apparently no one ever came out alive.

We are very fortunate to be able to stay above ground and keep our blinds open. As far as the true extent of what is going on – we will have to keep our minds open too! Whatever you do – don’t sneeze in a pubic place.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Ways To Boost Your Immune System

March 10, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

Of all the systems in the body, the immune system is probably the least understood. Yet its function and balance is vital to our protection and wellbeing. Too little, and we become immunocompromised and susceptible to being overwhelmed by every passing bug. Too much, and we develop life altering autoimmune diseases.

There are many whole foods that are believed to help the immune system. Yogurt, broccoli, almonds, garlic, ginger, leafy greens, and citrus top the list. When it comes to an inflammatory response, most of us know what happens and how we feel prior to getting sick. The big stickler is fatigue and stress.

To keep the immune system healthy, rest is central to preventing – as well as overcoming various illnesses. Lazy days, going to bed early, naps, doing only what you have to do – and finding ways to reduce demands and stress will help the immune system rebuild itself daily.

Essential oils like thyme, cypress, and oregano have anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties. Many foods like garlic, turmeric, beets, and honey all have medicinal qualities. The micronutrients in certain foods provide nourishment at a cellular level. Olives are good histamine blockers.

Fasting will help to repair and reset a weakened immune system. It is well worthwhile to research the subject of fasting if you have toxic or inflammatory processes building up. Each individual has to decide the length of fast, as well as how they will go about it. In my opinion, it is best to stay close to home and have support systems in place during a fast. Also, for those who must take prescription medication, fasting may not be feasible.

Learning to listen to our bodies is one of life’s big lessons. Work and other commitments cause us to ignore fatigue. The inability to say no creates a friction on the systems of the body. Everything from positive emotional expression, to rest, relaxation and whole food diet – will strengthen the immune system.

If you are exposed to crowds – go home, take a hot bath, and try a few drops of cypress oil around the nostrils. Think positive. Chances are you will live to see another day.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Gender Conflict – Why So Much Anger?

March 9, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

CBC is now running stories on domestic violence situations that had tragic outcomes. We just had International Women’s Day to help draw attention to women, and perhaps find ways to scratch the surface on the source of all the anger.

Rural areas with long, cold winters, high unemployment, poverty, and relationship breakdown have a disproportionate amount of domestic violence. But the profile of the high-risk domestic situation goes far beyond a simplistic description. There are layers and layers of religious, legal, power struggles, conflicts, addictions, stressors, effects on children, and failure to cope, to add to a complex subject

Similar to addiction, domestic violence has no respecter of persons. It happens across all walks of life. It exchanges stability for chaos and a vicious cycle.

If thought is deeper than speech – and emotion is deeper than thought, to get to the depth of the problem, we must look at the emotional elements that are contributing to so much anger.

We can choose to vilify the perpetrator, which they often deserve – but the prevalence of domestic violence goes beyond the percentiles of sociopaths. There must be other contributing factors.

The first contributing factor is drug and alcohol abuse, especially if the person is predisposed to angry outbursts and blaming others for his predicament. Drug and alcohol abuse causes people to do things they would not otherwise do. If there is any pattern of abuse relating to substance abuse, the family needs to be protected. The addict needs to abstain from anything that causes a loss of control.

For those who are quick tempered by nature, self-control and seeking other outlets are what most driven personalities resort to. What is more problematic is if a person is stewing and brewing over conflict or perceived betrayal.

Issues surrounding money, divorce, custody, and infidelity create high-risk situations. In order to help address the situation surrounding domestic violence for the individual – is to leave and do not go back. But, in most cases there are children involved.

Some people externalize anger, while others internalize it. Some of us can forgive, let go, and move on more easily than others.

For women, maintaining integrity and fairness is paramount. There have been many complaints made by men who feel they are discriminated against in custody battles. We need to acknowledge that men love their children as much as women do. We have to understand that equality must be across the board on all matters, not cherry pick the things we want to equalize.

In other cases, there is a very authoritative religious male dominance, which orders women to obey their husbands. Some people take small excerpts from the Bible and create dogmatic rules around it to suit themselves. The Bible also says to esteem one another equal to or higher than oneself. Why not stick with that one instead?

The purpose of anger is to make a grievance known. The sooner that can be done, the better. The more we can focus on communication, collaboration, best interests of children, and a healthy balance of interests, the more likely things will improve.

For women, intuition, past behaviors, and the more subtle “red flags” should never be ignored. Sadly, there are many relationships that become a toxic cocktail. Emotional and intellectual dominance without physical abuse can be just as destructive and cannot be ignored.

For men, don’t let your own insecurity overcome common sense and stability. If you don’t trust your partner, there is no point in staying in the relationship, unless you can identify what needs to change and agree upon it. Controlling behavior stems from insecurity. It is especially important to be secure and stable for the sake of children and your own future.

Perhaps every marriage license should require a disclosure regarding any prior charges of intimate partner violence. In addition, if there is domestic assault, it could be framed so that violence results in a court-ordered dissolution of the marriage, combined with a no contact order that is equally binding on both sides.

If there are children involved, the violent partner needs supervision with them (mandated by the courts). That way, men cannot use violence, intimidation or threats without facing consequences and forced change. There should be zero tolerance for violence – with the knowledge that a single episode will change life as they know it.

Other things that might help: more resources for talk therapy, counselling, managing anger, addiction, balancing logic and emotion when choosing a partner, parenting, support systems, learning how to fight fair and manage conflict, evaluating power imbalances, outlets such as exercise and hobbies – and basically anything that builds on strength and security, as opposed to weakness and insecurity.

In spite of all the challenges involved, people continue to fall in love, get married and have children. Praise to all those who manage to gracefully and peacefully exit toxic relationships – and kudos to those who manage to stay in love.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Extremism & Polarizations ~ What Is The Cost To Mental Health?

March 6, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

Mainstream media has dealt us a daily dose of polarizing concepts and characters. This creates large followings with rapid and often frenzied exchanges on social media. It causes people to take sides – to draw a proverbial line in the sand. It propels and gives momentum to an intellectual battle that is swinging wildly on a “group think” pendulum. Pick your side – in particular, your allies and basic beliefs, and take it from there. How do we determine what is influencing our thinking? Does it help or hinder us?

As examples of current extremes, we have Jordan Peterson who advocates and teaches bravado and self-responsibility. He is highly educated and has sold millions of books. Yet he himself has not avoided the very pitfalls he preaches against. Wondering where and how he went wrong, is not attacking him. Nor is it about lacking empathy or compassion. It is about opening avenues for edification, discussion and self-awareness. We don’t just learn from our own mistakes. More than anything, we learn from the mistakes of others.

On the other extreme, we have Greta Thunberg, who has become the voice of climate change. She is accusing the adults, mostly the “older generation” and world leaders of not taking responsibility. But she herself has not taken even the most basic responsibility of childhood, which is going to school. It seems to be an obvious and extreme contradiction, yet there is no end to how much the media loves to exalt controversial people and topics.

I will admit that I have followed the news articles on both individuals, but have only a limited knowledge of their points of view. The subject matter after all, in both cases, is vast and complex. Anger, arrogance and elitism are traits coming from both of them. “How dare you” is not about a changing climate. It sounds more like scolding a peon for having the gall to insult their superior.

If we are not for Greta – we are against her. If we do not think she has contributed proportionately to her rise to fame, we are haters and deniers. Only the meanest and crudest of bullies would “attack” an innocent and frail child. In most people’s minds, children should be shielded and protected. This translates to supporting, advancing and protecting her radical ideas. Using Greta as a spokesperson for climate change has done the cause more harm than good. It has deviated from science to be espoused like a fountain by an uneducated young girl. It basically turns it into science fiction, believe it or not.

In reality, we should not put so much weight on anyone’s shoulders. Climate change, human psychology, philosophy, and religion are topics worthy of a wide range of opinions and ideas. Solutions are found through cooperation, openness, learning, sharing knowledge, compromise, and humility. We seek truth and peace more than anything. They are trying to find their own way – and have had much exposure. Let us do the same, and be glad for the anonymity. It brings us closer to an existential moment, as well as a more egalitarian perspective toward our fellow human beings.

I do believe we should all take individual responsibility. But what does that mean? It means vastly different things to different people. Being clean and organized simplifies life and saves time. I will vouch for cleaning your room as being good advice. Having concern and care for animals and the environment are worthwhile values as well. As far as contributing to good – we have lots of options.

For me, the autonomy of our own health care and choices is paramount when it comes to self-responsibility. Therefore I don’t understand how Jordan Peterson reconciled the contradictions surrounding the medication he was taking. He is obviously educated in the field of psychology. One would assume his education and experience included some level of knowledge on psychopharmacology. How does he distance himself from his own knowledge when it comes to the medication he chose to take?

In keeping with the extremes, even the diets of Jordan Peterson and Greta Thunberg are diametrically opposed. He claims to eat only meat, salt and water. She is religiously vegan, and wants others to take the high road and follow the vegan morality. There is almost a graphic metaphor arising from these extreme diet restrictions alone. Do they look healthy, happy and vibrant as a result of their choices? Does it make any sense?

Wouldn’t it be better to eat a balanced diet of whole foods, give up packaged food (for the sake of the environment too)? After that, avoid additives, high salt, high sugar and all processed food, to include meat with nitrates. Reduce the grains and meat, but don’t eliminate any healthy food group unless it does not agree with you.

Why advocate for such extremes for those who have a choice to eat a well-balanced diet? This is especially true for those who are wealthy and famous. But for some reason, it is the wealthy and famous who generate these extreme diets. The outcomes are not usually positive, especially over the long term.

It seems likely that due to our ancestral backgrounds and genetic makeup that we, as individuals have different tolerances for food. I think we should make adjustments according to maximizing the nutrients, which requires lots of variety, not restrictions. But by all means, avoid what does not agree with you, which seldom involves entire categories of food.

Food is not only necessary for survival, but there are many emotional aspects surrounding what we eat as well. I do not believe a person can remain healthy by eating only meat. Our guts are intricately linked with our brains, to include regulating our mood. The micronutrients from plants feed and rebuild the neurochemistry, as well as the function of the digestive system. We need plenty of plant fibre to function.

Some people on strict vegan diets remain healthy, but a higher percentage do not, as it is difficult to get adequate nutrients (protein) on strict vegan diets. Regardless, what we, as adults eat, remains an individual choice. Food choices are altered of course by poverty, availability, emotion, and convenience.

As a Registered Nurse for many years, I observed a great deal of human behaviour, more in sickness than in health. As much as chronic disease is caused by diet and lifestyle, the health care system itself sucks people in. If and when it spits you back out, your life might be altered by side effects and systemic damage. Unfortunately, nurses see many people who are addicted to prescription drugs. Jordan Peterson’s patterns do not reflect his position. Quite the opposite in fact.

We are meant to be kind and compassionate, but that should not blind us to the obvious. Mercy and discernment are two different things, and both are important. We have no choice but to make up our minds about leaders or public figures based on their outward appearances and behaviors.

If someone is telling us how to live our life – don’t we have the right to evaluate how he or she is living his or her life? It is really all we have to go on. The reason it matters is because large numbers of people are choosing to follow the ideas, talk, advice, accusations, judgments, etc. of those who become powerful through the development of fame and followers.

Money has always been the basis of power, but now what has loomed larger is the “numbers” – not so much in the bank accounts, but rather, how many followers do they have on social media. Those numbers are far more transparent than anything else about the person.

An individual’s general appearance matters because of what we read through body language, energy, vitality, sincerity, passion, patterns of speech, intonation, etc. For those who work in the field of mental health – part of the admission and history is to describe the appearance and mood of the person. People who are decompensating mentally will often become disheveled with a very flat affect, or else be extremely agitated.

Although both Jordan Peterson and Greta Thunberg have risen to the level of fame few people will ever achieve, and deserve a certain amount of credit for their energy and passion – the extremism is destructive.

The first time Jordan Peterson went for prescriptions for anxiety and depression – he was making a personal choice. There are many announcements in the media claiming he took them “exactly as prescribed” and that they were increased because his wife was diagnosed with cancer.

But this very description is giving power to the system and the drug – not to individual responsibility. How can someone with his level of education not know the risks, especially when taken over a long period of time? There are adverse effects on the brain and central nervous system caused by neuroleptic drugs. The extent and depth of this damage is well known, but not well understood.

The locus of control must come from within. There is much sympathy for him over his struggles and reasons for them. But we all face the loss of a loved one. It is part of life. I can certainly understand why emotional and psychological pain pushes a person toward seeking help. I can also understand the appeal of anti-anxiety medications. What I don’t understand is the reluctance to admit that it is a psychological/mental health issue, not purely a physical one.

Addiction that ravages the soul to the extent the person is hospitalized is often addiction that has gone on for a long period of time. Some substances weaken and destroy the health of the individual faster than others. Although I have only watched snippets of interviews and video lectures, it is clear to me that Jordan Peterson looked ill, gaunt, and haunted in many of those images. I do not see a vibrant, autonomous individual.

In the case of Greta Thunberg – her mental health issues are pretty much taboo in the mainstream media. Yet Greta Thunberg’s mother has written a book about it, describing those mental health issues in detail. Greta must be protected because she is a child. Why turn her into an adversarial figurehead then?

Like the Petersons, the Thunbergs have been very public about all these personal struggles. The biggest contradiction is in that such a troubled young girl has been exalted to such and extent.  Her outward appearance is that of an angry, cynical, rebellious teenager who has yet to sort out family of origin issues, or even the basic challenges of childhood, let alone being tasked to save the world from climate change. What planet are we on?

How do we find the healthier and more stable middle ground? Individual responsibility means that we take care of ourselves to include our mental health. We cannot stop the bushfires in Australia, but we can reduce our own individual carbon footprint. Depending on our circumstances, it could be taking public transport, turning the heat down, reusing and recycling, setting up businesses with smaller carbon footprints, reducing pollution and packaging, and reducing the concept of poly-pharmaceuticals, as just a few examples.

I can honestly say that I wish I followed my own advice all my life. For years I abused over the counter antihistamines and pain medication like Ibuprofen. Even as a nurse, I was blasé about it all. It has only been within the past ten years that I really started to become cognizant of the damage to the body as a result of mindless pill popping.

The problem with extremism is that it is polarizing. It creates the greatest possible distance between two ideas or concepts. But in many ways, the off-balance aspect of extremism lets us see how similar they are. Fame and fortune does not make the man or woman – it unmasks them.

Perhaps the greatest vulnerability of all is to be unmasked in front of the entire world. How we view ourselves versus how others view us – might be the greatest polarization of all. 

A less partisan and more centrist position is far more stable. Whether you are gaunt and miserable while lecturing the masses – or sitting waif-like on a boat trying to save the world, how futile can one be?  

Although attention itself seems to have addictive properties, my guess is that fame and fortune is not all it is cracked up to be.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Addiction Conundrum

February 23, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

Let’s face it. There are ample ways to become addicted – not only to substances, but to substitutes for those substances. Some things are more catastrophic than others, but addiction will eventually crowd out the more mundane activities of daily living until it becomes all a person is living for. Yet paradoxically, addiction puts people on the path of dying – not living.

After reading some excerpts from “Molecules Of Emotion” by molecular biologist Candice Pert, it all seemed quite brilliant and plausible (at first). Then I watched several of her video lectures, and could see that she was very unhealthy. She unwittingly demonstrated an inability to internalize and process what she was teaching. In fact, as time went on, she did deviate away from molecular biology into sort of a new-age spiritualism.

Jordan Peterson has gained widespread fame and sold millions of books telling people how to live, yet in his own life, he went off the rails completely. There can be no greater loss of control than to be put into a medically induced coma in a foreign country. Surely he went through one of the most melodramatic drug treatment protocols anyone has ever heard of. It is another example of the dichotomy of the extremes. Perhaps the dichotomy is what creates the chasm within.

During Candice Pert’s last few videos, she was obviously in congestive heart failure. She was short of breath just standing there talking. At a cellular level, she was filling up with fluid – struggling with a failing circulatory system. By the time she was in her fifties, she was very overweight and sick. She had an understanding of the molecules of emotion, but she could not readily apply that knowledge to her own life.

In Jordan Peterson’s (overt and public) struggle with addiction, we see some glaring contradictions between what he teaches and what he does. Much of it sounds like denial, with a certain amount of death-defying hyperbole. Yet he does look very ill – with a haunting depth to how gaunt and hollow he has become. There is most certainly something wrong.

In his case, there is an excessive preoccupation with death, coming from both himself and his daughter. The entire family seems to have all kinds of rare health conditions, which is often a sign of having co-morbidity factors surrounding mental health. People can become the victims of their own poor health. There is much drama, sympathy and attention as a result.

The unintended, value-added aspect of seeing the progression of addiction of those in the public’s eye, is learning that addiction has no respecter of persons. Fame, high IQ, talent, money, power, success – and all the luxuries life can offer, does not fill the void of a ravaging addiction. Advantages in life might prevent homelessness, but it does not overcome death or unhappiness.

Although Jordan Peterson deserves as much compassion, understanding and encouragement as anyone else – shouldn’t we at least question the wide range of advice he has been giving? Did he veer away from his field of study so much that he became confabulatory? Like morphing into a glossy and opinionated pseudo-intellectual on so many other subjects. He conveys a somewhat disjointed example of the “les miserable” aspect of human psychology. There is a cavernous darkness lurking and beckoning – to the extent it is blocking out the sight of the sun.

Everything from sex education to smoking places the focus on education and knowledge. If we learn about something and study it enough, we can avoid the pitfalls and take a detour around the toxicity that surrounds us, and threatens to suck us into its vortex. Aw – but that is obviously not so! We are blinded by our own sense of invincibility. Every near miss reinforces this notion.

Clearly, when it comes to addiction, knowledge is only one component of a complex equation. How can we know the destructive elements of something and then walk right into it and let it swallow us whole? Once an addictive pattern is established – why is it so hard (and often impossible) to break free? Why do so many people leave rehab only to relapse within a matter of hours?

We think of addiction as being primarily to drugs and alcohol. But it includes overindulgences around television, video games, Internet, shopping, excessive exercise, gambling, sex, money, food (especially sugar) and a multitude of other patterns of behaviors and substances that increase dopamine in our brains.

We seek mood elevation or escape from everyday responsibilities, whether they are stressful or boring. We have poor tolerance for boredom, drudgery and depression. In reality, peace and stability (boredom) beats chaos and uncertainty. But for some of us, the energy and pulse of addiction is a driving and destructive force.

Statistics affirm that roughly 20% of the population is prone to addiction. But I tend to think such an assessment is based on the more severe cases, and excludes many other types of addictions.  After all, addiction is one of the things people become very good at hiding.

We should be aware that every family and every community is faced with the negative consequences of addiction in one way or another. The more extreme cases end up on the streets, unable to care for themselves. Who is to blame for the travesty and loss of dignity? Who can cure it?

For many, once they fall into the addictive cycle, it is a very deep pit. Before long, it is like trying to fill a bottomless void of emptiness within. This exacerbates the person’s sense of alienation and existential loneliness. There may be many reasons for addiction, such as childhood trauma, homelessness, bullying, and major losses in life – yet those vulnerabilities are the reason a person should avoid addictive substances as opposed to gravitating toward them.

Taking addictive drugs “as prescribed” is one of the biggest mistakes a person can make. The other thing is that we cannot separate physiological dependence from psychological dependence.

With almost all addictive substances the old adage “first it giveth – and then it taketh away” is the one thing we ought to keep in mind. If we take antidepressants (SSRI’s) for example, they will speed up the flow of serotonin in our systems, giving the impression of a boost in mood or energy. But eventually that serotonin is depleted and the dose is increased to get the same effect. After awhile, the person’s mood becomes flat as a pancake.

Opiates and benzodiazepines are even worse, since they both have an immediate gratification similar to alcohol. The anxiety or pain is alleviated in the short term. But once they wear off, the cycle must be repeated in ever increasing amounts in order to achieve the same results.

There is no longer a sense of normalcy, since the substance is required in order to emulate feeling normal.  The person must mimic feeling and acting normal. The perceptions become increasingly skewed. Over time the malfunctioning starts to become obvious.

Once the central nervous system depends on the cycle, a person is functioning without full awareness of how all systems of the body are being hijacked.

What is the answer? First and foremost, we have to learn to accept some depression and dark days. Like the weather, it is not always sunshine and roses. Learning to let negative emotions pass by, and finding ways to ease those times without seeking a mental health diagnosis or drug cure is probably the first step to better coping. Better yet, creating a healthy “feel better” action list to help cope with doldrums.

Just as we can be triggered into negative emotions, we can condition ourselves to appreciate fresh air, a sauna, aromatherapy, a hot bath, talking to a friend, or doing something creative. The beauty of nature is that it is both inspiring and calming to the psyche.

In the past, I was never very good at mindfulness, since I was always thinking about something else, always in the future or the past, and missed the present moment. I was always prone to projecting it, as opposed to absorbing and appreciating it.

In my humble opinion, seeking a mental health diagnosis is a sure path to being prescribed medications. It would be cynical to assume that is how doctors keep their patients coming back for more – but many do. When it comes to health care, a healthy dose of cynicism might make you better off in the long run.

No matter who we are or what we become – we will eventually be humbled. The higher we climb, the deeper we fall. Our intellectual arrogance becomes simultaneously blinding and stupefying.

Famous addicts show us, like actors on a stage, how we stumble and fall. We are all fallible, susceptible, vulnerable, and face the unknown. We are better off to have an equality-based perspective and value for others. When it is based on being special, they are singled out in a way that robs them of equality. Excessive superiority is not normal. The flip side is excessive inferiority. Addiction has a strong tendency to flip sides. From aggressor to victim, or from love to hate, constructive to destructive and so on…

Insight brings wisdom. Stability, love, support, returning to basic virtues, empathy, and forgiveness – may not be mapped out in text-books, yet they are the true pathways to survival.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Hope For A Hapless World ~ Happy New Year!

January 11, 2020  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

This New Year started with an unprecedented level of global stress culminating in the loss of 176 innocent people in a missile strike that downed a commercial flight. Many of the victims were Canadian.

Clearly we can no longer view these global conflicts as being distant and too far removed from us to touch our own lives. After a decade of pointless platitudes and alarmism around homelessness and the opiate crisis – we suddenly became immersed in the anxiety-provoking concept of a world war.

The scope of these humanitarian crises demonstrate how all losses and indignities touch the lives of people in every country and continent, regardless of our belief systems. The perception of an insular life has evaporated – even for babies and school children.

The Middle East has been the focus of conflict for as long as most of us can remember. We know that in addition to the religious and cultural differences, the reality is – that it is about money and oil. At least that’s the way it has been framed until now. Some things have changed though.

There is a deeper and more chaotic psychological warfare attached to all the recent global conflict. Social media offers a platform for all points of view. But simmering beneath the surface of all the freedom of speech – is a mind-altering snake, equivalent to the most menacing of monsters, lingering in the recesses of our most tortured nightmares.

Reassuringly – much of the twittering is not real. Twitter just went into a frenzy over the possibility of a third world war. As we held our breath – wisdom dictated the unexpected would happen. And it did. It was all based on human error.

At the very onset of the war scare – we saw nothing but human error, gargantuan egos, deception, and things that go against International law. It is difficult to understand how we are expected to embrace all cultures without prejudice in our own countries, while simultaneously read news articles that vilify those same groups of people in the mass of disinformation we are inundated with.

When people immigrate to our country, it is expected they will be treated with respect and have equal rights. How is it that we cannot apply the same logic whether they live in Canada/North America or not?

Whether we ponder the homeless crisis, the opiate deaths, or the conflicts with people from other countries, along with their belief systems – there is an old adage to keep in mind. There are really only two types of people in this world. Contrary to popular belief, it is not based on gender, wealth, or nationality.

The two types of people are those who have been humbled – and those who are yet to be humbled. Make no mistake – Pride is our downfall. When self becomes the monument, the worldview shrinks, and the psyche eventually crumbles. After all, there is not much to worship when it comes to runaway egos filled with illusions of grandeur and paranoid delusions. Only fools and cult-indoctrinated heretics worship that level of stupidity.

Hope therefore – is to be found in humility. Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand. For many people, the sting of betrayal bruises and wounds us to the depth of our soul. But no amount of deception can eradicate the truth. Humility helps us open our eyes to truth.

Therein lies the real hope for what appears to be a hapless world. All life is precious. We do not have the right to exalt ourselves above others. True leaders are able to lead with confidence in their own values, and a sober knowledge of their own mortality. A true visionary sees beyond the ninth hole of his next golf game.

We have no guarantees in life. No one can be accused of stealing the future. Extremism, whether to the left or to the right – is rooted in elitism. The centrist point of view is much more tolerant and stable. Extremism is like a pendulum swinging erratically from one side to the other. In reality, the polarization of these extremes shows they have far more in common than not.

Without humility, we lose all hope. A dose of humility brings us closer to forgiveness. We are all prone to human error. It is not wise to follow the whims of media and political personalities steeped in deception and elitism. We all have the capacity to discern truth. There is no authoritarian power that can overcome the truth. For that much we can be thankful and confident in the future – regardless of what happens.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Many Health Benefits Of Essential Oils

December 7, 2019  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

The use of essential oils dates back to the beginning of time. It stands to reason they were recorded in the oldest civilizations in the world. Egypt, India, China and Greece have used them throughout history for culinary purposes, healing and beauty treatments. Without a doubt, they date back to the earliest gardens, study of plants, and were reverently collected and highly valued.

The Bible has hundreds of references to a wide array of essential oils. They were often brought as gifts to be used as anointing oils during prayers and ceremonies. They were also used in a therapeutic manner for healing various ailments. There are verses with instructions on which oils to gather and the ratios for mixing them. Some of the oils they mention are: Sandalwood, hyssop, frankincense, myrrh, cassia, cyprus, cinnamon, juniper, myrtle, and spikenard.

Oregano oil is well known for its efficacy in treating infections and allergies. Cypress and thyme also have antimicrobial properties. Frankincense is being studied in Europe and is being recognized for improving immune system function. Conventional medicine is starting to accept the attributes of certain essential oils. They are no longer dismissed as alternative medicine.

As a word of caution, essential oils are not meant to be taken internally. They are a highly distilled and concentrated essence of certain plants. When buying them, go to a reputable place, take a light loupe, and read the fine print. Some essential oils have toxins in them, and in other cases they are diluted and mixed with another cheaper oil.

With the exception of oregano oil, tea tree oil and lavender oil, it took me awhile to expand my horizons and start using more of them on a regular basis. I have always been of the opinion that fresh air is better than trying to cover it with some kind of fragrance. It seemed to me that some aromatherapy, along with the misting gadgets – is sort of like air freshener, which I am not a fan of. But once I began to differentiate the real essential oils and gather a few more of them, their benefits started to make more sense.

Another word of caution is that most essential oils are very strong. They can be mixed with olive oil or coconut oil to be used as a massage or bath oil. Since the olfactory nerves are in such close proximity to the brain, breathing in the strong aroma of certain oils is quite invigorating and interesting. I wanted to be able to learn to identify each of the fragrances. How many people know what myrrh smells like? So while in a candle lit, quiet, hot bath – I will rub a certain oil on my hands, and then cup my hands over my face and breathe it in. Similar to training the ear to recognize musical notes, we can train our sense of smell to identify different plants.

When you do this kind of close encounter with distilled essential oils, you have to be careful not to touch your skin or eyes. I love the smell of wild roses and lavender, but thyme and cyprus is especially woodsy and strong. Cyprus, thyme, and eucalyptus oils are perfect for the cold and flu season.

In addition to the relaxation, pleasant aromas and spiritual benefits – there are micro benefits in using these oils. Some of them have antimicrobial, anti viral and anti fungal properties. Since they are distilled chemical compounds, I have often wondered if certain essential oils can alter neurochemistry, specifically dopamine and serotonin, if used on a regular basis. This would be very helpful in treating addiction, depression and possibly other mental health disorders.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to maintain autonomy over our own health. We do so on an individual level by learning and discerning what things are good for us – and what things to avoid. It is a good idea to include some research on essential oils, and how you might incorporate them into your self care routine.

If you don’t have time to collect a few bottles of essential oils and you do catch a cold or flu during the holiday season – get yourself an old fashioned jar of Vicks VapoRub. Although it doesn’t go back to Biblical times, it was introduced in 1905 as Vick’s Magic Croup Salve and rebranded as Vicks VapoRub in 1912.

Breathe Easy. And Happy Holidays!

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2020). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What Is Truth? What Has Happened To Objective Reality?

April 9, 2019  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

The vast majority of people by the time they reach college, do not believe there is such a thing as objective reality. Truth is supposed to correspond with reality. However, in actual fact – we are steeped in relativism. Only images, impressions, preferences and perceptions form a concept of truth. We live in an illusory world, where countless mixed motives are vying for the perceptions of truth. All throughout history, various theories gradually turn into facts, whether they correspond with reality or not.

There are 4200 religions in the world today. Within those conceptual frameworks and belief systems, there are layers of differences in what people believe to be true, even if they belong to or believe in the same religion. When you extrapolate the number of different ideas of what is true based on religion alone, it grows exponentially. The war between truths then – is the war between relativism, and objective or corresponding truths. The correspondence theory of truth means that truth corresponds to reality.

What is the definition of “ism”? An ism is a set of beliefs, which are especially subject to disapproval of certain segments of the population. Isms are used to form nouns that represent layers of social, political, or religious beliefs. We all have vague ideas surrounding definitions of fascism, liberalism, ageism, racism, sexism, classicism, and many other isms related to ideas, concepts and theories.

The problem is that isms are then connected to a sense of inferiority and economic vulnerability. The notion that the higher class, the superior, and dominance oriented stance is based on religious beliefs, gender, power, or economic status is a method of control. Dominance and control is not about love. It is about the ongoing self-serving interests of those who exert power over others for personal gain.

In actual fact, power, control and dominance come from a place of deep insecurity. Fascism dictates power over the lives of others. It is a representation of strong, autocratic, dictatorial and oppressive control over others, not just the behaviour – but the actual thought, belief and opinions of others. Why? Because isms lead to insecurities. When controlling personalities or political ideologies are faced with instability or lack of confidence – they project their wrath and blame others.

Since objective reality is so scarce – how does one define delusional? Delusional means that beliefs are not based in reality, or have been founded upon faulty or mistaken judgement. There are extreme delusional cases in mental health, where people believe they are being chased by aliens, or have bugs crawling on them, or they may have auditory and visual hallucinations.

But in the absence of a loss of touch with reality – who has the right to control, demonize or diagnose another person’s intellect, thoughts and beliefs? Are they layered? Absolutely. There is no belief system or ism that is not layered with multiple concepts, ideas, memories and experiences. If delusional is applied to one person’s belief system – then it applies to all.

The poor person is not delusional simply because he or she is poor or facing economic vulnerability. The disabled person is not delusional because of illness or a physical disability. Yet the disadvantaged are far more likely to be labeled as such. Women, especially single women, poor people, Aboriginal people, and those with disabilities are also most likely to be labeled and medicated for their beliefs and/or vulnerabilities.

When it comes to corporate fascism and human rights abuses – the rich man is not considered to be delusional for some unknown reason. Yet he may be the most delusional one of all. He lacks insight. He is incoherent in rational thought, because he will not be challenged. He is a con artist, yet he has set up so many layers of protection, he sees himself as being invincible. He will not admit wrongdoing, or expose any vulnerabilities. Power is probably the number one delusion of all time. We only need to look at some of the political leaders to see the range of self-exaltation and delusion among the rich and powerful.

Power is delusional because it is often arrived at as a result of deception. If power is achieved through a series of foundational lies – it is sure to crumble. Abuse of power means the person will lose that power. All it takes is a single stroke. It could be a stroke of the pen, a stroke of ballots, a stroke of bad luck, a stroke of God’s wrath, or a stroke – as in a hemorrhagic brain aneurysm, and that person’s reign of power is gone – like chaff in the wind. Then, they await the final judgment day. In the meantime, their reality changes, and their delusion is not sustainable.

So who in their right mind abuses power and uses deception and coercion to oppress the poor and the vulnerable for personal gain and exaltation? Lots of people do. It is a rampant problem, which has led to countless conflicts, wars, and loss of human rights and potential. Those who abuse power do so at their own peril – yet they lack insight into the basic principles and guidelines surrounding morality in human behaviour, such as the golden rule. They see themselves as vastly superior. Is that not a central symptom of delusional thinking? Once they completely lose their health, mobility or cognitive function – they will not even be able to take a shower or go to the bathroom on their own. What makes anyone so delusional as to believe they are exempt from the natural laws of the universe?

Is a god-like, self exalted, profit driven doctor, or a rich and ruthless executive exempt from natural laws and loss of power? Prestige and position is temporary. Wisdom dictates that they should not abuse their power while they have it. There are consequences when it comes to the abuse of power for personal gain. No matter what they get away with in life, it does not mean they won’t get a multi-infarct dementia or have a heart attack. Do they really think they will maintain power over others once that happens? Isn’t it better to make decisions in life with some integrity, so that when you do exit the world of power, dominance and control – you have hope of mercy and compassion – instead of wrath and judgement?

The age of relativism, or the impressions of truth, do not portray an accurate representation of reality. In fact, the greatest intellectual question of all time – is to define what is truth. One lecturer proved a point about eye witnesses being able to provide truth as evidence in a trial. During his speech, he had an actor unexpectedly run in front of him on the stage, and wave his hands in front of his face, then run away.

The lecturer stopped his lecture and began to ask people in the small audience what just happened. Five out of five people who witnessed this, believed the man had slapped or slapped at the speaker. In reality, there was no slapping involved. The speaker did this exercise to prove a point about eye witness testimonies.

One of the most powerful representations of the altered perception fact is demonstrated by some of the Mount Everest disasters. The book by Jon Krakauer “Into Thin Air” is a journalistic non-fiction account of one of the greatest tragedies on Mount Everest. The ill fated 1996 expedition was one of the worst climbing disasters of all time, where a freak storm and a series of human error, led to the death of eight climbers. Although the book became a best seller, there was much controversy about the truth or objective reality surrounding the events that took place.

On that particular expedition, Russian climber Boukreev was portrayed by Krakauer as having made many mistakes. In fact, the experienced high altitude Russian climber saved three lives because he had the experience and foresight to make decisions that were not understood by the novice journalist.

In addition, the lack of oxygen and extreme weather conditions did give each individual a unique perspective, since it was a matter of location, hardship, survival and individual peril. Boukreev refuted many of Krakaeur’s statements, claiming in different interviews that he was haunted by the falsehoods. Krakauer ended up making a lengthy addendum to his book, in an attempt to explain the differences of perception.

Boukreev then co-authored a book “The Climb” Tragic ambitions on Mount Everest, depicting his version of the climb, which was quite different from the journalists point of view. He was ultimately vindicated when he was awarded the David Sowles Award, the highest mountaineering award for courage, due to the fact he saved the lives of other climbers. What could be a better representation of truth than to risk one’s life to save others? Those people are alive because of him, and surely they believe it.

Sadly, only a year later Boukreev, at age 39, was killed in an avalanche during a high altitude winter climb. His final poetic tribute is perhaps a demonstration of the old adage “to thine own self be true”.

May your spirit rise higher than mountains! I have returned from my Fall expeditions and all my pain of the Summer has lifted somewhat from my spirit into the crystal air of the Himalaya. Compelled: in that world you may know yourselves and beauty that is eternal. The very best to you in the coming year.

Anatoli Boukreev
Santa Fe, New Mexico
January 1, 1997

To those who are fascist and delusional about power – when their end comes, the spirit is not lifted, but rather it is weighted down with that anchor of delusion, as it faces the ultimate defeat. Defeat in death is only defeat, if it is accompanied with self-exalted, destructive delusions and lies. Otherwise, just as Boukreev predicted – his spirit will be lifted to an eternal beauty. The choices we make on a day to day basis, and the way in which we treat others, has eternal ramifications. Make no mistake, since that is the essence of faulty thinking – and the eventual judgement people bring upon themselves.

Did Anatoli Boukreev know he would be gone shortly after he wrote those words? Who knows? But he did know the truth about the human spirit, the concept of eternity, and what it means to rise above it. He came to this conclusion as a result of a passion for mountain climbing.

Some people might believe such behaviours exhibit a death wish, or foolish risk taking. But none of us gets to dictate or control the actions or outcomes of another human being. If we can eradicate that single delusion surrounding power, dominance and control – surely the world would be a better place. There are more mountains in the human mind – than anywhere else in the Universe. Some traverse the deepest crevasse – without even realizing it. They lack the intrinsic courage to look up, or down – until it is too late. Delusion is not only a state of mind – it affects others to the detriment of spirit and truth – from which there is no escape.

Benefits Of Playing Guitar ~ Don’t Give Up On The F Chord!

February 19, 2019  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

Playing an instrument has many health, brain, and mood benefits. For all ages, probably most notable in young children and older adults – playing music improves math, memory, cognition, and literacy skills. It is a method of combining relaxation with learning.

My primary motivation for learning the guitar, is because I like to sing, and cannot sing very well without an instrument. It does teach patience, as well as the recognition of musical strengths. Some musicians are naturals, and can learn very quickly, tying it all together without too much effort. Others have more strengths in certain areas, like rhythm and timing, as opposed to singing. One thing for certain, all great musicians spend a lot of time playing music. You don’t get good at anything without having a passion for it and putting in the practice time.

If you look at lists of the world famous guitar players, more men than women make it into the top percentile. But when it comes to singing, women do not lag behind. There are many different components to self teaching – such as finger placement, ease of changing chords, timing, memory, pitch, projection, confidence, patience, and practice. It takes time to improve, and at first advancements seem almost imperceptible.

For those who study musical theory and take umpteen lessons, they are already well ahead of the weekend warriors and back porch musicians. Nowadays, you can learn to play just by watching tutorials on youtube. It’s great because you can pause it and replay it, which is more difficult to do in person! Or you can get the chords and lyrics of your favourite songs off the Internet and just start playing them. You might not impress anyone, but it’s a start. If you have listened to certain songs often, you can emulate the timing, emphasis, and pitch from memory.

Learning an instrument teaches patience, and after awhile improves your confidence. A lack of patience is probably the number one reason many people who want to learn, simply give up. To begin with, you can only play until your fingers hurt, which is probably another reason people quit. Some guitars are much easier to play than others. If the action is too high (distance of strings to frets) it is more difficult to press and hold the strings down. If the guitar does not hold a tune or sound good, it is another deterrent to learning to play. I like to play a small acoustic parlour guitar (Martin). They have great sound, and are easy to handle and play. These well made small guitars are ideal for children, songwriters, small spaces, and traveling with.

Like exercise, unless you are training for a marathon or the Olympics – you don’t have to play several hours a day, but you have to commit to playing or practicing on a regular basis. You will notice that on some days you can play and sing well, and on other days, not so well. Fatigue, medication, alcohol, colds, phlegm, dry throat – all impede the voice, the energy levels, and/or hand eye coordination.

As it is in all athletic endeavours, technique is the key to doing it well. Professionals will take many years of voice lessons, learning to master the muscles involved in singing. But how many recreational musicians want to learn how to regulate sub-glottal air pressure, or about the multitude of tiny muscles in the larynx and throat? There are many theoretical aspects of music that seem to take the fun right out of it. How many lay musicians throughout history actually studied the anatomy and physiology of the voice?

We tend to think piano players need strong fingers – but what they probably need more, is good posture and strength in their chest and back muscles. Natural musicians have the ability to let the music flow right through them. You will notice that the most accomplished players of almost any instrument, demonstrate a fluidity in their entire bodies as they play. I tend to think playing an instrument involves all muscles of the body, including the feet and legs.

The simpler points to know about the athleticism involved, is to stay in shape to maintain strong muscles in the diaphragm, chest, back and arms. Paying attention to posture, stretching, and learning to regulate the breathing – all contribute to improved singing.

A couple years ago I watched an interview with Linda Ronstadt, whose powerful voice and musicality left an incredible legacy of her talent. Unfortunately, she developed Parkinson’s disease, and described changes in her voice that made her realize something was wrong, long before she got the diagnosis. It must have been a devastating loss for her, since singing was part of her entire life, up until she developed the disease.

Since there are so many muscles involved in singing and playing an instrument, a change or loss in the ability to sing or play, would probably be one of the earliest indicators of something else going on in the body. It can easily become something you love to do – so it is a blessing to even be able to do it.

I remember a friend from school whose mother wanted her to play piano. She had to take piano lessons religiously. She was made to practice every single day, and when she got in trouble, she had to practice more. One time she said, “Oh no, I’m going to get grounded for this – and my mother will probably tie me to the piano for a week!” This is where the whole concept and purpose of music can get derailed. Many parents want their children to excel in music, sports and academics. All of them require discipline and dedication. In reality, none of them can be controlled by someone else.

Of all things, music should not be pressured. Encouraging patience, and developing an intrinsic love for the instrument, lyrics and genre of music is the foundation for developing a lifelong musical habit. It may not turn everyone into a shooting star, but it makes for a very positive and interactive activity that you are likely to continue. Music is innate to all of us in some way or another. It is never too early or too late to begin learning.

Since I am no guitar whiz and play only for relaxation, it took me the longest time to learn an F chord. Not that I couldn’t learn the finger placement, but I found it very difficult to barre all six strings and then reach and press down the other strings at the same time. Never mind trying to go from a C major to a convoluted F chord and back, in just a couple of seconds. It was too difficult to persevere, so I abandoned it. Plus, I found countless songs to play that could be transposed to eliminate the F chord.

But, come on! I finally told myself – how can you be a real (or even a semi-real) guitar player, and not even know how to play an F chord? Try it again…one more time! Another lesson embodied in this lowly experience – is to go back to what you could not master, and see if the practice has helped your abilities, or if there is an easier way to do it!

Lo and behold, while casually looking at the chord bank not long ago, I realized I had only tried a couple of different ways to play an F chord (the hard ways). I was quite amazed to realize there is a much easier way to do it, requiring you to barre just two strings instead of six (whew)! It actually only took only a couple minutes to learn. Years of procrastination and believing it was too difficult, was a waste of a perfectly good chord, and learning some great songs.

It just goes to show you – as it is with many things, there are other ways to achieve the same results. The doo-ability dawned on me rather slowly – but now I know, you don’t have to be a long fingered contortionist, simply to play an F chord!

The Detox Trend ~ Is It A Safe Concept Or A Scam?

January 31, 2019  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

In the past, the term detox was reserved for drug and alcohol addiction, which is a topic for another article. Drugs and alcohol have an effect on the central nervous system. Detoxing in this case requires medical supervision and other support systems in order to manage the detoxification safely. However the terminology and meaning around detox has shifted to include all kinds of so-called cleansing and flushing treatment plans. The trend in the past fifteen years or so – has been to unscientifically transfer the concept of detoxing from drugs and alcohol, to using supplements and diets to detox random and unknown toxins from the body.

Some of the detox regimes invented in recent years are extreme and potentially damaging. Others are outright scams. Some people believe they can flush their bodies clean by drinking excessive amounts of water, which can lead to severe electrolyte imbalances. Concentrated herbal supplements can overload and damage the liver. In some cases people are buying unregulated supplements with unknown substances in them, making it very difficult to trace adverse reactions.

Last night I listened to a guy talk about how he and his girlfriend dislodged and excreted hundreds of gallstones overnight. The concoction they used, was a cup of olive oil, combined with a cup of lemon juice, to be ingested all at once. He said he could feel the gallstones moving and rolling around as they fell out of his liver and gallbladder during the night. Really? That’s amazing!

First of all, a young, slender, fit man is the least likely to have gallstones. The old adage for gallstones is geared toward women and is known as the triple F – fair, fat and forty. The other thing is to be careful what you wish for. If there are asymptomatic gallstones languishing somewhere, and they suddenly get disrupted, which can happen with rapid weight loss or surgery itself – they can go from being unnoticeable to plugging a major bile duct. When gallstones clog a bile duct or large ones pass through, the person gets very ill, to include severe nausea and vomiting and abdominal pain, which often radiates to the shoulder.

Another naturopath described a similar brew, but added things like wrapping your waist in saran wrap, with a hot water bottle over top your abdomen, and laying on one side with your knee up. According to him, the position, and even some abdominal massage would facilitate dislodging the gallstones. A word of caution – if a person is prone to appendicitis, the last thing you want to do is apply a hot water bottle to your abdomen. It sounds like bad advice, even for gallstones. Hot water bottles are for your back, feet and joints, and should be used with caution on the abdomen.

If you have ever experienced or witnessed a severe gallbladder attack, you know the high level of distress it can cause. The likelihood of passing hundreds of gallstones in one night, without incident, is very hard to believe. Somewhat similar and equally intense, is the passing of kidney stones. It also causes extreme pain, because the stone is moving through a narrow lumen. Agony is probably the best term to describe the passing of rock like substances through bile ducts or ureters.

Another health guru was telling people to drink a high concentration of epsom salts! Bad idea to take high doses of salt for any reason. Sodium is one of the main electrolytes in the body, and must be kept in the normal range. If sodium levels are too high or too low – a person can rapidly become confused and disorientated, and if it is not corrected immediately, will convulse and die.

There is nothing wrong with the idea of detoxing the body by stopping or cutting down on harmful substances. To stop drinking alcohol or taking over the counter medications for a period of time to give your body a break is a good idea. Anything that reduces toxins might be called detox, in a much milder but healthier sensibility. Many of us don’t drink enough water, so to adjust water intake to normal healthier levels is a good idea too.

Initially the whole detox trend was more about taking away what is harmful for a period of time, or going on a healthy organic diet kick. But now it is literally all over the map; from coffee enemas, to oil and lemon concoctions, epsom salts, and high doses of supplements. This is the part that should trigger red flags and sound warning bells before you swallow any of it. You risk disrupting the homeostasis of your body and adding a potentially toxic load on the liver and kidneys, instead of improving things.

Our bodily systems are too complex for us to interfere with in extreme manners other than fasting. Fasting does not involve adding anything harmful to the system – and the body is naturally equipped to tolerate it. Although it is an individual choice how to go about doing a fast, fasting cannot be called fasting if a person is drinking juice.

Juice and other beverages top the list of hidden calorie culprits in everyday life. A juice fast can easily add a thousand to fifteen hundred calories a day to the system, without the fibre that should go with it. It is better to go on a high fibre calorie reduced diet than it is to do a juice fast. Some vegetables are too high in natural sugars to be taken in highly concentrated doses. Ask yourself if you would eat twenty beets or carrots in one sitting. Probably not – and even then it would be healthier because of the fibre, and the fact you would probably feel full after just a few.

Fasting truthfully means water only. It means you do not take in any calories at all. The body does not go through a state of ketoacidosis if there is juice being added. The whole idea is to avoid concentrated sugars, and allow the glycogen stores in the liver to be used up. In my opinion the only worthwhile and true fast is a water only fast. It is difficult to do physically and emotionally – but it is an effective way to re-set the immune system and get rid of rogue cells. The complex bodily systems work together to do the sorting and cleansing, as it converts fat to fuel and burns it. It is the only thing that can give the liver and gut a complete rest from digesting food and additives. If the diet is changed for the better after a fast, the entire system has a chance to improve, including the bacteria in the gut.

A word of caution, don’t go to Costa Rica or some other exotic location to do a prolonged fast. There are horror stories about health retreats without any knowledgable medical supervision. In one case a young woman had ulcerative colitis and then got an infection from the water she was drinking at a retreat in Costa Rica. It was a dreadful and near fatal experience for her. Ultimately it was a very costly trip as well, because she needed to be hospitalized and then had to have family members from another country fly to Costa Rica in order to accompany her home.

Other than nutritious food, be wary of adding anything to your body in high doses. This includes oil, salt, laxatives, enemas, apple cider vinegar, supplements, concentrated protein, excess fluids, and excess juices. Avoid them! Ironically, they are probably toxic – meaning the cure is worse than the disease you probably don’t have.

The things that do help detox the body would be along the lines of taking away alcohol and refined sugars, avoiding OTC medications like Tylenol and Ibuprofen, stop taking antihistamines and cough medications. Avoid sugar substitutes and processed meats. Be cautious with regards to what you are putting on your skin. Many lotions including sun screen, and especially spray on tans, have a host of chemicals in them. Our skin is our largest organ. Some of the most expensive beauty products are also the most toxic.

The things you can add to help your gut, liver and kidneys – a healthy intake of water, a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in water each day, fresh squeezed lemon or grapefruit diluted in water, lots of fibre, exercise, non-toxic soaps and skin care products. Saunas and steam rooms help the skin to eliminate toxins by opening and cleansing the millions of pores on the skins’ surface, as well as having a relaxing effect on the muscles.

Monitor and reduce your caloric intake if you need to lose weight. Don’t put too much trust in what other people tell you to do, no matter how they try to qualify themselves. Put on your quack filter, then the profit motive filter – before buying into any of it. A non-quack would never tell a person to ingest large amounts of strange concoctions, especially things that can skew the electrolytes. Healing is the one aspect of life where we cannot drum up instant results. The notion of doing a rapid housecleaning within the systems of the body, without respect for the fact our bodies have the capacity to heal without such intrusions, is not wise.

Be patient. Trust your intuition – and do your level best to keep the good, and turf the bad! Day to day habits are the things only we as individuals really know about. Generally when we get off course, we can do a lot of good by taking small steps, in order to change direction. The original meaning of therapeutic is healing gradually, and with care.

Neurotoxins & Nephrotoxins ~ Are Far Worse Than Potatoes & Beans!

January 24, 2019  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

There are certain toxins that are so common, we assume they are harmless. For example Ibuprofen, a common over the counter pain medication, is a nephrotoxin. Tylenol, especially when combined with alcohol or a general anesthetic – can be very harmful to the liver. Any drug or food additive can be toxic if the doses are too high, used on a daily basis, or if combined with other substances – that can create a synergistic effect.

The most known neurotoxins are things like aspartame and other artificial sweeteners, aluminum, lead, and mercury. Other than fillings in our teeth, mercury can be found in high levels in certain types of fish. Tilefish, swordfish, and mackerel are known to contain fairly high levels of mercury. Tuna falls into the mid-range, and wild salmon has one of the lowest levels. The solution is to limit fish intake to a couple times a week, and consume fish with the lowest levels of mercury.

Bisphenol or BPA is contained in the coating on the lining of canned foods. It is presumed that certain more acidic foods like canned tomatoes might contain higher levels of BPA. The fake butter on microwave popcorn and the stuff you get at the movie theatres, contains the neurotoxin diacetyl. Sadly, peanut butter often (but not always) contains a toxin called aflatoxin.

To reduce these toxins, it is best to buy tomato sauce in a glass jar. Avoid the bright yellow fake butter, use a hot air popper, and add real butter. As far as peanuts and peanut butter – the aflatoxin comes from a fungus. The main thing is to buy food as fresh as possible. Some nutritionists suggest avoiding bulk bins because the age of the product is unknown. But if you go to a grocer with a high turnover of that particular product, it should be okay. Supermarket peanut butter is said to have less aflatoxin, but that might be because it has fungal inhibiting additives in it, so it is worth checking the labels on your brand of peanut butter too.

MSG as most of us know, is another neurotoxin – enough to give some people an instant and severe migraine headache. The high concentrations of MSG are found in things like instant noodles, with the little packages of flavouring to add. Certain Chinese dishes are known to contain high amounts of MSG. It is a salt enhancing additive, so pay attention to things like broths and pre-made soups as well. Most of the bouillon cubes are culprits as well. I used them for years before realizing they had a whack of MSG in those little cubes.

Another thing that can be toxic to our systems is meat grilled under high heat. The toxins can be significantly reduced by using a wet marinade before grilling. Like fish, I suppose the best thing is to pick your poison, and then reduce it to occasional use, mixed in with lots of fresh vegetables! Processed meats such as bacon, cured hams, and luncheon meats contain nitrites and other additives – so should be used sparingly. Ironically, the sodium nitrites put into the meat is added to counteract the risk of botulism poisoning.

The list of neurotoxins is a very long list, to include pesticides, natural and artificial flavourings, lead, arsenic, and alcohol. Some of these toxins cross the blood brain barrier. We would go crazy trying to avoid them all – but we may go even crazier if we don’t!

If you buy a package of snack food and then sit down and google the fine print listed under ingredients – it might be a deterrent. There is a case to be made for home grown gardens, organic foods, and avoiding canned and packaged foods. Other brain saving tips include storing food in glass containers instead of plastic ones, and cutting down on all packaged and refined foods. If there are things added to the routine shopping trips with a high “bliss factor” – get out your magnifying glass, and research the list of additives.

Another helpful exercise might be to eliminate all packaged and canned food for a month, and see how much of an adjustment you have to make. There is a belief that it takes twenty-one days to change a habit. I’m not sure if its true or not, but it seems plausible. Small everyday habits, like chewing aspartame laced gum, or taking certain supplements that are too concentrated for the body to use, and must be excreted – can be habits that lead to allergies or symptoms that are difficult to trace.

A couple years ago I read that fish oil capsules can go rancid while stored in the fat cells of the human body, and can even be rancid before being ingested. I don’t know if there is any scientific proof to support the theory, but I would rather eat fresh salmon than take fish oil capsules anyway. Botox is another deadly toxin. Now that it is being used so frequently in the aging and beauty circles, there will be more information coming out about its toxic and possibly systemic effects. We will likely see more insidious and long term health issues associated with Botox as time goes on.

Food is high on the list of life’s pleasures. Like many other things that enter our brains, we need to develop our own individualized filters. We lean toward instant gratification. But probably the simplest advice is to lean toward the au natural, “Grow Your Own & Cook it Slow. Next to that – Buy it Whole”!

Can Knowledge Alone Make Us Healthier?

January 22, 2019  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

Let’s face it – our health is valuable, not only with regards to outward appearance, but also as it contributes to longevity and how alive we feel. We are constantly seeking ways to boost and invigorate ourselves, in order to attain maximum energy. If energy could be put into a pill and bottled – it would fly off the shelves. What is the worst thing about sickness, depression, hangovers; and weighted, heavy, oppressive rainy days? The low is almost always characterized by a loss of energy. It seems it does belong somewhere in the thermodynamic spectrum, the part that correlates with life force.

Is a high level of energy something we are born with, or is it acquired somewhere along the way? We all start out with a fair bit of energy, and it either thrives or diminishes as time goes by. Some people manage to keep reviving their energy levels into their eighties and nineties. Can we find a way to gauge energy levels, so we can track it like a brainwave pattern or a cardiac rhythm? We know how important it is – but we don’t quite know what it is. Energy is related to both food and mood, since we burn and convert food into fuel. Mood is often perceived as having a high or low energy level. Therefore more than anything, food is our best friend or worst enemy – depending on what we choose to eat.

Wellness promotion is now a multi billion dollar industry. Much time and energy is devoted to educating the public on everything from nutrition to mindful awareness, supplements and fitness – as well as warning us of the hazards of tobacco, a sedentary lifestyle, and way too many refined carbs. Candy works better than a carrot when it comes to human behaviour.

Candace Pert wrote the book “Molecules of Emotion” which may have opened doors to a new way of thinking about emotions in the realm of academic research. Although I was familiar with some of her work, most notably the discovery of opiate receptors in the brain, I have only read excerpts of her book. I certainly agree with ground breaking research on all forms of holistic approaches to health. After watching some of her videos, I wondered why she was not able to apply her extensive knowledge on the mind-body-emotional connection to her own life.

The first video I randomly chose to watch Candace Pert present some of her ideas sort of surprised me. I was expecting a fit, vibrant woman bubbling with enthusiasm over the knowledge she had acquired during her prolific life’s work. Instead I saw a woman who was very overweight, and clearly short of breath just standing still and speaking. The first thought I had was how unwell she looked. She sounded anxious, and then congestive heart failure popped into my mind. It so happened I had chosen a video published just a few months before she died. When I looked up what she died of – it confirmed she died of heart failure at age sixty-seven.

Few people have the level of knowledge, education and research to advance to the kind of acclaim attributed to Candace Pert, so what went wrong in her own life? The average life expectancy for women is around eighty years old. Those figures do not take into account a very important factor, which is quality of life. Many people would prefer not to linger in the “death zone” too long as it robs quality of life. A loss of appetite and energy makes for a dismal existence. How many of us would choose to be sick – knowing we are steadily getting sicker, over a period of ten years or more?

We tend to measure success in life based on how much we have achieved, how much money we make and accumulate, the education we acquire, the house we live in, cars we drive, and clothes we wear. Alongside the external measures of success, we have the more primal aspect of survival to contend with, especially as we age. So when very successful people like Steve Jobs and Candace Pert get sick and do not reach life expectancy, what does it teach us? Is it genetics or a hard-driven personality burning itself out? Who can say?

From what I have observed over the years, congestive heart failure has a gradual onset spanning a period of about ten years. The early symptoms present with swelling of the ankles, a persistent cough, and shortness of breath on exertion. Gradually the heart becomes enlarged as it struggles to pump blood throughout the body. Over time, the lower legs and abdomen swell and the person begins to experience shortness of breath while at rest.

The symptoms associated with CHF cannot be ignored or denied. Given the fact Candace Pert was sixty-seven when she died, it means (hypothetically) she would have had symptoms for a good ten years. Since she was writing and lecturing about the mind body connection, why was she unable to reverse her own morbidity when she began to experience symptoms of heart failure? Surely it was not due to a lack of knowledge on her part.

I think what can be extrapolated from her work and early death is that the emotions and spirit are much more complex than we can fully comprehend. Every single type of addiction known to man can bypass our knowledge and common sense for unknown reasons. We tend to think of addictions as being drug or alcohol related, but there are hundreds of different kinds of addictive behaviours. Our psyche will switch from one to another with hardly a twitch of awareness. The onset of symptoms with the capacity to adversely affect our health, means we need to take some drastic measures to change the direction we are headed. It is a call for action and change.

Knowledge alone cannot save us. Whether it is diabetic teaching or education about tobacco – we all know the drill. Every smoker knows smoking is bad for the health. Every jogger who dons a track suit and heads out in the pouring rain knows this discipline is going to add energy and vitality to his or her life. Some people look piously upon the person swilling a can of Coke and turn toward some other insidiously destructive substance. Others do everything right, from activity to food choices – yet they can still end up with cancer or some other serious illness.

To further muddy the waters – we can research every topic under the sun on the Internet now. The problem is there is so much knowledge and information out there now it makes it difficult to filter out all the misinformation. You can read oppositional arguments to every health related topic. Various health gurus are telling us to avoid things like tomatoes, grains, and beans, when common sense would tell us these are not the real culprits. Should you, or should you not take vitamin D, calcium, probiotics, supplements of all kinds, and various strange sounding tinctures and extracts?

Candace Pert was obviously a disciplined academic researcher who acknowledged the connection between mind, emotions and physicality, yet that academic discipline did not transfer very well to fitness and weight loss in her own life, even after she developed symptoms that were certain to shorten her life. Something deep down inside hindered the cognitive connection to take immediate action. What was it?

I think she made tremendous connections and advancements in the field of neuropeptides, pharmacology and neuroscience. She did understand that we cannot treat or examine one part of the body, without realizing that systemic illnesses affect all systems of the body. But in later years as she got more into the spiritual connection, it sort of veered away from science to a somewhat vague New Age spirituality. If she mentioned the word “soul” it was a four letter word not to be used in scientific literature. Yet she was striving to identify the spirit as well as the mind and emotions, as they pertain to health, healing and cognition.

Perhaps the best lessons we can learn go right back to the science of nutrition and physical exercise – and even then, the healthy tennis player might just drop dead of a heart attack while on the court. Knowledge informs but it does not guarantee insight, assimilation or change.

It brings to mind the questions surrounding pre-destiny and fate. Perhaps we are all born with a death date on the horizon, which will not be altered no matter what we do? How much of our physical presence is rooted in spirituality and soul? Are they separate – or blended into every molecule of our physical bodies?

I believe our soul inhabits our physical bodies and consists of mind, thoughts, emotions and spirituality. Our soul gives us our unique identity, intuition, insight, and prompts us to action pertaining to physicality, yet elements of the soul are outside the realm of flesh and blood. It explains why so many near death experiences are described as leaving the body and looking down on what is happening. It is outside the scope of science because for one thing – how can we see ourselves without our eyes?

As it is with hindsight and so many famous yet humanly fallible people, we can learn as much from what they did not do – alongside all the research they did do. Like rats in a lab, what is it about sugar, drugs and alcohol that holds such a magnificent and compulsive attraction to us? Why are some of us more susceptible to those addictive substances, even when we know they will significantly shorten our life span?

Knowledge is increasing at a very rapid rate. We have to filter the noise, the distractions, and the contradictions – in order to navigate the systems within our own bodies. When science is applied to spirituality – it is doomed, because spirituality is not based on scientific knowledge. It is based on faith. Like love – faith is unseen and difficult to fully define.

Are there molecules of love and faith circulating within our physical bodies? Maybe so. But in the end – our soul perseveres, and is the only part of us that can leave and go to another dimension. Knowledge does serve us as we navigate life’s complexities, but truly understanding it all – is probably the greatest enigma of our entire existence.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2019). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Quiet West Blog Topics For 2019 ~ Streamlining West Coast Wellness, Culture & Art

December 31, 2018  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

The word streamlining has a slimming ring to it, which is timely for a New Year’s Eve post. Just a couple more days of overindulgence and we are ready to streamline.

I believe the subject matter surrounding individuality, wellness, and fashion history as it relates to culture and art – is central to living a vibrant life and reaching one’s potential. Since these are vast topics, the notion of streamlining is brought about by adding a unique and original perspective. Entelechy is assimilation. We can only share what we have learned – and hope it helps contribute to a broader perspective on women’s issues, how we perceive ourselves, and what we hope to change.

Fashion is important as a mobile art form, and in how we show ourselves to the outside world. It is not about the most expensive or range of designer clothes one wears. But it is one of the key components in visual self expression. We will never get enough of draping the human form with textiles and design. Some dresses are as memorable as a lavender sweater paired with a Himalayan scarf!

In some situations, people are completely thrown off by a person’s style of dress. In one true crime show, a police officer in Florida approached the driver of a vehicle to see what the guy was up to. Once he saw the young man who was dressed in a T-shirt and board shorts, he mistakenly assumed he was a typical “surfer dude”. Instead it turned out to be life threatening conjecture. The police officer ended up in a deadly shoot-out with a fugitive on the run for murder in another State.

The 1979 show “Being There” is a story about a simple gardener named Chance who received a trunk full of expensive clothing from the twenties and thirties, which gave people a totally different impression of him. It is a poignantly satirical movie with many layers of meaning.

If you look at any of the fashion conscious celebs and actresses, their style and image is carefully crafted and central to their existence. They have to constantly pay attention to image. Apparently Dolly Parton has never even stepped outside without being made up and dressed to the nines. Cher is another iconic image, more striking than a runway model in a Paris fashion show. She is almost the polar opposite to Dolly Parton in her looks – yet both are equally dramatic and incredibly talented. Stunningly, they suit their looks!

For the average person, fashion and image is less important than it is for models and movie stars, because we don’t think there is a need to craft our image and sell ourselves in such a manner. Yet, tell that to a person who is going on a first date with someone they really want to impress! Fashion is embodied in self expression and lifestyle. It matters sometimes – and other times it doesn’t really matter at all. Regardless, we all have to present ourselves to the world in some capacity, so in my opinion, we might as well appreciate the beauty and have some fun with it.

Whether we are wearing sweat pants and sneakers, or head-to-toe designer, we are making a statement about ourselves that is rapidly judged by other people. I have noticed that even babies in strollers will do a quick visual summary of a person approaching them. In many cases they will glance at your feet first, and then do a quick toe-to head sweep upward – and then look at your face. They learn to check out a person’s shoes early in life!

Years ago I participated in an online University course in women’s studies. I still remember many of the key points the lecturer made. She gave multiple examples of what women said when they were asked to describe themselves. Most of the answers were self-deprecating.

On the other hand, men were inclined to say neutral or positive things about themselves. In fact, none of the men they asked made self-deprecating comments. Finally they were asked, “Okay, tell me what is wrong with you?” One answered, “I’m a little near-sighted” and another said, “I don’t swim the breast stroke very well.” They were not the least bit inclined to say they were too fat or had thunder thighs – regardless of what they looked like!

I don’t discredit men for having a healthier self-image, but I do wonder why there is such an inclination for women to have deep rooted insecurities. Having known and worked with women most of my life, I noticed that even some of the most gorgeous women with near perfect bodies and intelligent minds, might be more dubious about how she is perceived than the average person. In some ways it is probably more difficult for the strikingly beautiful woman with a willowy figure – to navigate the complexities of life, than it is for the average person.

A woman, especially one who is a bit shy and reserved, with too much attention, wastes valuable time and energy trying to deflect it. The accusations many women get of being aloof or snobby, are often unfair assumptions. Others might be jealous and make snide remarks. We should keep in mind that as much as we envy or admire long naturally curly hair – or the near perfect figure, the genetically lavished person has feelings like everyone else.

In my opinion self-esteem is highly overrated. We ought to aim for a healthy cognitive bias. The trouble with all the self-esteem workshops and promotion is that most people really don’t need it. They have enough partiality to get by. Low self-esteem cannot be elevated or reconciled in a two day workshop. Acting lessons would probably help more. For those who don’t like to feel raw and exposed in their insecurities, the cognitive bias is the thing to adopt.

It’s like okay, I am what I am, and can only do so much – therefore I’ll just fake it to the best of my ability. How shallow does that sound? Basically it translates into reinforcing your own abilities, knowing you might make a mistake – but at the same time acknowledging this is my decision, job, obligation, duty, expectation, or opportunity to carry it out. Believing you can do something is half the battle. If you practice something a hundred times and get it right once, it proves that you can get it right again and again, just by learning to duplicate what worked.

When you think about it though, the old adage, “fake it til you make it” is essentially what everyone does. I remember when obstetricians would get called into last minute hair-raising obstetrical emergencies, with no choice but to make an immediate life saving decision. One time I asked one of them, “How can you be so sure making the call, in just a minute or two?” He candidly replied, “I’m not. But you can’t let them know that.” After his admission, when I saw specialists get stressed out and lose it in emergency situations, I would think – he is losing his ability to feign and hold onto his own cognitive bias.

Good or bad – we require such a bias in order to make competent and autonomous decisions. We just need to find a balance between our doubts and our confidence – to keep it in check. Otherwise we might be prone to wallow in doubt or do something overtly stupid.

The next ideation is in making the female comparison to the rather demeaning comment some men get as having “more brawn than brains”. I suppose something like “Bimbo” would be along the same lines.

Since we have entered the era where there is recognition of the theory of multiple intelligences, we cannot be too quick to judge anyone. Although there is no empirical data to support the concept of multiple intelligences, no matter how smart someone is, there will be many deficits in knowledge and experience.

Most people are intelligent in certain areas and less so in others. One of the best examples of this is the aptitude for air traffic control. Some people have the ability to track moving objects at different altitudes and speeds, but for most people it is difficult and stressful. Often a really smart person will have no sense of direction, or he/she might have a tendency to reverse numbers, and must constantly double check them. Those with enhanced social skills and excessive confidence simply come across as smarter, but it could be bogus. In truth, we have the challenge of holding our own – while simultaneously discerning others.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/unique-everybody-else/201311/the-illusory-theory-multiple-intelligences

The notion of intellectualizing fashion and beauty appeals to me. The holistic approach to superlative health and wellness facilitates the autonomous integration of the outward appearance with the inner person. This is often described as “being comfortable in one’s own skin”.

Beauty is all around us. Age is irrelevant because the appreciation of beauty and art has no age limits. The fear of losing beauty is unfounded because we don’t have to be beautiful to appreciate beauty. Just as we don’t have to be a concert pianist to love music, or a CFL football quarterback to love sports. If a person sees the beauty in an incredible catch and touch down – they will enjoy it whether they are twenty or eighty years old. The interests we develop, and things we see as beautiful or inspirational stay with us.

Beauty is both objective and highly subjective. If you put twenty women in a row who are healthy and in good shape, and gave men the opportunity to rate their beauty, it would vary widely. If you let those same women mingle and show their personalities – the least beautiful one might suddenly become the most attractive woman in the room.

Mirroring is what we all tend to do, in everything from subtleties in body language to linguistics. The more intuitive, empathetic and capable a person is at mirroring – the more they will apply the law of attraction. Whether is is the tendency to seek out like-minded individuals, or the ability to reflect back what they care about in order to engage them, it seems to be a natural communication phenomena.

Whether you are on the quiet and demure side of life – or an outgoing, vivacious chatterbox, it’s all fine. An easy way to deal with self image is to remember – the more attention you pay to others, the less you have to worry about yourself!

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2018). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Quackery In The Health, Aging & Beauty Circles

September 14, 2018  | Valerie Hayes  | Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos

True beauty stems from genetics, optimal wellness and integrated optimism. Optimal wellness is the combination of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.

The wellness industry went a bit overboard in recent years. This morning I was reading about the Goop website and various pitches by Dr. Gundry who advocates a very restricted diet, makes multiple bizarre medical claims, and sells copious amounts of equally strange sounding supplements, things like “lectin shields”. Can’t you just envision a warrior with a huge bronze shield over his heart and vital organs, as he goes to do battle with his leaky gut? It almost sounds heroic doesn’t it?

If one of these health gurus wrote a fictional book, it would be like a video game inside the body. The good guys are navigating the blood stream in hurricane zodiacs with lectin shields and various other supplements to enhance their powers. The pirates sprouted from beans – and came surreptitiously sneaking out of a leaking gut. Whoa! Before you know it, there is a real bowel-optic war going on inside of you. It used to be a joke to describe someone who has a shitty outlook on life, but now it is about being double crossed by the foods we eat. The leaky gut promoters tell us we need to add more warriors to the mix. You must translate money into supplements as benefactors for your gut.

One thing this health craze has brought on, is an increase in liver disease. Twenty-five per cent of liver disease is now related to supplements. In addition, post-op bleeds can often be attributed to supplements that alter the clotting factors. One can never assume the supplements will not interact with other drugs and should always be included with the information provided to first responders and other medical professionals.

I often wonder about those who refuse to eat ordinary food, because of all the health guru hype. The list of things various quacks tell people to avoid includes; all grains, beans, nightshade vegetables, dairy products, meat, bananas, grapefruit and so on. What if people who adhere to these diets were faced with starvation or famine? Would they refuse to eat bread or meat? What do they eat?

The gist of the Goop website is that women are seeking autonomy. So how exactly are we are going to get autonomy from the ideas and beliefs of Gwyneth Paltrow? To me, that’s sort of like basing your spiritual beliefs on the celebs that have joined Scientology. Can’t we just say, “Whatever floats your boat” and ignore them?

Does being an actress make you a health expert? If she is advocating for autonomy, then why is she pitching so much misinformation? Autonomy means self-directed, not being spoon fed a bunch of fluff by someone who thinks everyone wants to be just like her. No one is just like her. Nothing is going to change that. Not even taking her advice, range of supplements, and quirky products will change the fact we will never look or act like Gwyneth Paltrow. She, like most of us, still has a whole lotta living left to do…Only time will tell how she manages it all. She has set herself up for some critical scrutiny as she ages.

Supplements of every kind, along with a multitude of alternative and fringe treatments are now the norm. I think it’s good to make informed choices, with autonomy over our own health a consistent priority. We don’t need the far-fetched claims of others in order to gain self-determination. They seem to be capitalizing on little more than the notion of cult celebrity followings. We need to listen to our own bodies and sensibilities.

Between the two extremes of conventional medicine and some of the alternative approaches – is where common sense might prevail. In reality, individuals must navigate the unmapped territory leading to their own health and recovery. The only real guide is your own intuition. The thing to guard yourself against is treatment and medication with a stronger dose of hype than benefits.

There is no magic pill. The body has tremendous capacity for healing. We need a wholesome diet, exercise and rest. No matter what happens to us, unless it kills us – first the body stabilizes and then it begins to heal, gradually. Our job is to pay attention to the problem, research it; and then carefully sift the information and advice we are given for quackery, fraud, and pure profit motive.

With a balanced and more secure perspective, we are better equipped to make informed choices. There are good reasons to include some discipline into the daily grind. Our own awareness can alert us enough to help offset everything from repetitive strain injuries to heart attacks and strokes. We are better off to find ways to keep the endorphins flowing and the cortisol levels lower.

I believe each individual is unique with specific genetic markers, developmental attributes, psychological and emotional make-up, addictive tendencies, athletic inclinations, intellectual interests and so on. When we go to a doctor, they have no idea what we put into our bodies, how we think, or what our genetic history is. They can stitch up a wound, order an X-Ray, write a prescription and give you advice. When it comes to trauma, bowel obstructions, automobile accidents, ectopic pregnancies, and countless other mishaps – conventional medicine is not to be scoffed at.

But when it comes to the habits of everyday living and the vague, foggy complaints of fatigue or general malaise – we get hooked. Yeah that’s me! I need a fix. Then as we age, it’s all about chronic disease and inflammation. If we believed all the supplement promoters, we would be living on little but supplements and green juice. We would be taking co-enzymes and handfuls of gelatin capsules  thinking we can make ourselves glow in the dark, emanating an instant revitalization and youthful vigor.

As far as judging a person’s health choices, I don’t think we should. But I do believe in common sense and warning people to filter it all, and use caution when tempted to buy into some of those questionable concepts.

For starters there is no such thing as “age reversal”. How could there be? As an example, there have been some very interesting early studies on the long-term effects of Botox, which made sense to me.

Apparently the way the face is innervated with the network of craniofacial nerves, there are neuronal pathways to the brain affecting the movement and coordination of the hands or “hand-mapping” associated with the nerves in the forehead. It is only a matter of time before they figure out the physical global effects of repeated Botox injections. A person might start to look and act borderline catatonic after a few years.

Another interesting thing about Botox is the effect on communication. Apparently we learn a great deal from facial expressions and tend to mirror them. Empathy and compassion, fear, contempt, curiosity – are all part of reading people’s faces. Some articles surmise this can impact relationships. Children in particular rely on facial expressions and tend to make very accurate assessments.

Recently I noticed Celine Dion has come out with a skin product with some extraordinary claims. This product boasts it will put plastic surgeons out of business. I laughed when I read about it because I remembered shopping with my sister one time. We got taken in by an expensive skin cream with similar claims. We each decided to buy one with the agreement to use it faithfully every day. The observation on our mini clinical trial was going to be put to the test, the next time we saw each other. We agreed we would be brutally honest. A few months later when we saw each other again, we took a good long look at each other’s faces, and in unison both of us quipped…”Nope. It didn’t work”.

The gluten free craze is another interesting diet phenomena. For one thing, only one per cent of the population truly has celiac disease. In the past, the diagnosis was based on symptoms and biopsies of the intestine. Now they can do a definitive diagnosis. Canada has about 35,000 true celiac cases, which are tracked on a data base. Although there is a genetic factor, apparently there is never a direct genetic association because of the way it is spread genetically. In addition, it is very difficult if not impossible to go completely gluten free due to the extensive cross-contamination of grains.

For those who truly do have celiac disease, they will react to a homeopathic dosage of gluten. Therefore it is common for them to have frequent flare ups even if they are vigilant about gluten. One of the most interesting things about celiac disease is that many who suffer from it have found they can eat slowly fermented artisan breads, especially sour dough.

For those who do not have celiac, by all means avoid anything that bothers you. But in actual fact, if we don’t have celiac disease, there is no reason to avoid gluten and many good reasons to eat healthy grains.

One of the main things to note about the gluten free craze, is that it brought a whole range of packaged and processed foods, high in sugar, additives, and fats, yet there is a perception this is healthier. The perception is based on a couple of books written by health gurus describing wheat as the worst thing ever grown in a field – and presto, no more gluten for half the population. Hopefully it is a fading trend. I tried going gluten free myself a few years ago – but my gut feeling was that it didn’t make much sense. Plus the gluten free bread is gross in my opinion.

We often hear about leaky gut as the cause for all kinds of health problems. But that too is a manufactured term. There is no proof such a diagnosis even exists.

As far as navigating my own ideas about health, I place autonomy at the top of the list. Therefore I avoid doctors, prescriptions, supplements, and more recently  dropped all OTC medications joining the list of “things to avoid”. The biggest vice for me was to finally kick the sugar habit.

There was a fair bit of reluctance to give up sugar. I love fresh ground dark roast coffee with cream and sugar first thing in the morning, and cannot get used to coffee without it. So, coffee goes out the window along with the sugar. I’m still experimenting with substitutes for the morning java. After trying everything from chicory root to vanilla yerba mate, nothing holds a candle to the old fashioned sugar laden cup of coffee. The only other time I managed to quit sugar was in the seventies after reading a book called “Sugar Blues.” It wasn’t long though, before I lapsed into my old ways. Ha! But this time I’m serious. I think last time I lasted about a year, so only time will tell.

Part of the initial adaptation to decreasing or eliminating added sugar is in screening the labels on everything you buy. You need to take a light loupe to the grocery store to read the tiny fonts on the labels. There are a few sugar free salad dressings. Most sauces have added sugar. Almost all processed food has sugar and additives. I find it easiest to stick with fresh whole foods and fresh baked artisan bread. There are also brands of nut butters without any added sugars.

There are things in both conventional medicine and alternative medicine to be embraced by people keen to regain their health and vitality. On the flip side, both have a multitude of things to be avoided. Personally, I would never take chemotherapy. Nor do I go for mammograms as I think they are a hoax. The thought of a CT scan gives me claustrophobia. I skip all pre-screening tests and always have. Denial has its place in life.

Whether we agree with another person’s choices or not is irrelevant. So many of our health choices are based on fear. Many other decisions are based on what some other authority tells us is best for us. We get so used to hearing what is best for us, we hand over our better judgment simply to serve someone else’s profit motive. Don’t expect anyone other than those who love you, to be THAT interested in your health or well-being.

We fail to realize fear itself is the cause of much disease and disharmony in the body. Our psyche, emotions and spirit inhabit our physical bodies, yet we are hesitant to factor those in when we start fretting over our health.

Aging and death are inevitable. We don’t need piles of pills and supplements. As a rule, they do more harm than good. In long-term-care one of the most glaring things I noticed was that those who were the most out of control also took the most psychoactive medications. The healthiest ones could be a hundred years old, and all they took was a baby aspirin each day.

My own advice for optimal health, which I most certainly have not always followed myself but am more inclined to do now: Listen to your body and trust your intuitions. Reduce dependency on medications. Don’t quit any medicine cold turkey, but taper it down gradually. Avoid surgery if you can heal without it. There is always a risk of infection and/or developing scar tissue that can cause problems later.

Lean toward holistic and individually tailored approaches to healing and therapy with careful research. Monitor your progress based on how you feel. Be patient and trust in the body’s incredible capacity to heal.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage (2018). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West Vintage with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.