Betty Broderick ~ An Example Of A Steadfast Refusal To Repent
In the 1990’s, the Betty Broderick story gained International attention surrounding the dangers of affairs, and the fury of a woman scorned.
Betty Bisceglia married Daniel Broderick in 1969, and together they promptly had four children. She got pregnant immediately after getting married, as was the tradition for Catholic families in the 1960’s. If the plan was for her to put him through law school, one wonders why they did not wait a few years before having children.
But as it is with all media sensationalism, and the desire to create a certain feminist portrayal, the woman scorned was seen as having been mistreated much more so, if she put her husband through school.
Does it mean without her, he would not have achieved what he did achieve? If you look at the timelines, he was already well on his way to reaching his goal before he got married. No doubt having a family, would have motivated him more to succeed, and provide for them. Her support, and various contributions, would have been important as well. After all, a marriage is a partnership.
People get married for many reasons, including financial reasons, as marriage in itself is a financial partnership. Rich or poor, they embark on it together. Millions of women work in order to support a family. Both parents are expected to do what they can, to provide for their family, and contribute to the success of the partnership. Married people tend to fare much better financially than single people do.
In the post sixties era of rising feminism, there was a slant, and in some ways it was a bias, casting more expectations of being cared for like the proverbial princess, while simultaneously having powerful careers, and equal freedoms. The polarization of roles, from having babies and being the perfect wife, to somehow being the provider, even though it was short lived – backfired on Betty and Dan.
It was all a fairy tale, a dream come true for Betty. She was the third of six children in a Catholic family. Her father had a successful business, and the family was well provided for. Like many young girls in the 1960’s, a lavish wedding, followed by a house full of children, was the expectation for the continuation of a charmed existence.
She met her future husband Dan when she was just seventeen, and he was twenty-one. At the time, he was going to Cornell University, and had already completed a few years University toward a degree in medicine. They dated for four years during which time he continued his studies, and completed his degree in medicine.
Dan Broderick was also from a large Catholic family, with nine children, and he was very ambitious. After completing medical school, he decided to get a law degree, so he could combine the two disciplines and work on medical malpractice cases.
There has been huge publicity, and fanfare surrounding this case. Most of the publicity describes how much Betty sacrificed to put her husband through school. And no doubt, like most young couples, they must have worked hard, and made sacrifices. She sold Tupperware, and Avon, and did some sporadic work in early childhood teaching.
However the claims of her working like a fiend, to put her husband through law school, seems over rated. During that time frame, she was pregnant, and had small children to care for. Given her personality, and self-absorbed immaturity, it is unlikely she was the saint she portrayed herself to be.
Although she was never diagnosed with a specific mental illness, she was diagnosed and described as having narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. That helps to explain why she has not changed. Personality disorders are part of the person’s makeup since birth, and are not treatable.
Yet her husband was described as narcissistic as well, so perhaps the fatal outcome, is related to the union of two very difficult personalities.
Setting all the Hollywood hoopla aside, the focus on her working for years to put him through school does seem to have elements of exaggeration. They got married in 1969, and had two children immediately after getting married. He started working as a malpractice lawyer in the early 1970’s, and soon after, they bought their first home. It was also reported that he took out a loan to complete his law degree.
Admittedly he had faults, but it does not seem like he was the type to spend years being supported by his wife. Perhaps if she had a solid career, and worked for years in her chosen field to support him and the family, there would be more credibility to the story of putting him through University. Keep in mind, by the time they got married, he had already been in University seven or eight years.
In spite of all Betty’s incessant whining about working (like most of us have to do), in reality, she only worked outside the home at the most, a handful of years. She was in her mid-forties when she shot her husband and his wife. Up until that point, she had not established a career path of any sort. Taking care of four kids, and a house is not to be downplayed, as it is a lot of work, with value for the entire family.
For stay at home moms, it also helps tremendously to have everything paid for, nothing lacking, maid service, new cars, and a beautiful home. But clearly, in addition to hard work, it takes sincerity, honesty, faithfulness, and respect – or it all becomes chaff in the wind.
It appears Betty had financial security within three years of getting married. All of this dove tailed perfectly with her image of a successful and happy family. As it is with all marriages involving secretive affairs, the illusion of a happy marriage is eventually shattered.
Since 1989, television dramas, interviews on Oprah, and hundreds of newspaper articles about the case, each gave a particular slant. Many of them supported Betty’s reactions to a failed marriage, by claiming her husband was a cruel, and ruthless narcissist. They blamed the victim.
There is not much information about Dan Broderick, other than the fact he was very successful, to the point he was making around two million dollars a year. In today’s world, it would be closer to eight million a year. At the time of his death, he was just 45 years old, with at least another twenty years to work.
If Betty would have played her cards with the least bit of strategy, or refinement, she and the children, were set for life. Unfortunately, she was not playing with a full deck. The trauma and emotional scars will be embedded into the lives of the Broderick children for the rest of their lives, overshadowing all the privilege they once had. In fact, the trauma is likely to go on for several generations.
It also sounds like Dan Broderick had a roving eye very soon after their marriage, as he was seldom home, and spent a significant amount of time socializing after work. Once he became involved with his young mistress, he hired her as a personal assistant. This was a turning point, and Betty knew it.
On the afternoon of his birthday, Betty showed up at his office with wine, and gifts. She saw an empty bottle of champagne on his desk, and was told by a nervous receptionist that he had not returned from lunch. Apparently Dan and Linda did not return to the office at all that day. Betty wandered around, and went into Linda’s office. She was aghast to see a picture of Dan when he was much younger, displayed on her wall.
Illusion is like a vapour, without substance. It can quickly be stirred up into a whirlwind, with nowhere to go. In Betty’s case, the tempest of her wrath, twisted from a dust devil, into a full blown tornado.
Her pipe dream had morphed into an irony of terms, an ignis fatuus, a will-o-the-wisp, a steely song and dance, with deception and self-deception.
In reality, within ten years or less, the cracks in the marriage began to show. In a couple of the interviews, Betty hinted she knew he might be having affairs, but as long as the marriage stayed intact, she was willing to look the other way. Even though he was accused of being image conscious, she was no different.
What seemed to matter the most to her, was to keep the fantasy intact. There was no shifting the paradigms, of something so elusive as true love, because she could not grasp it, or hold onto it. She had a massive hole in her butterfly net. Since she was unable to patch, or mend the tear, she just kept chasing those butterflies with a vengeance.
We have to keep in mind that her husband ultimately did not have a chance to defend himself, and her descriptions of him could be fabricated. She claimed he was emotionally abusive and cruel, calling her stupid and fat. There were no signs of physical violence toward her, but without a doubt, she became increasingly disturbed and angry as the relationship disintegrated. She was powerless to do anything about it.
The claims he used his knowledge of the legal system, to abuse power over her, could be true. As the bitter break-up progressed, he used the law and legal system against her, and she used erratic, violent, and profane conduct toward him.
During the divorce, and monetary battles, the children were thrust into the middle of it all. She claimed how unfairly he took custody of the children, however she dropped them off on his doorstep, and left profane messages on the answering machine telling him he could “have them”.
The marriage lasted from 1969 – 1989. But by the early eighties, it was in a free fall, and he moved out of the house. Betty found out about the relationship he was having with his much younger assistant, or at least it was confirmed beyond a doubt by then.
Of all things, the affair with a much younger woman, was the incendiary element that sparked her out of control rage. There was no quenching the fire of fury that burned within her.
She was on the rampage from then on. She vandalized his house several times, put all of his designer suits in a pile and burned them in the yard, and smeared cake all over his bedroom, and contents of his closet. The list of her childish antics, and property damage is a long list.
After he moved in with his mistress, she broke into their house at Christmas time, and opened all of Linda’s presents and trashed them, along with trashing all the Christmas decor. They were away on a brief trip, and one can only imagine how they felt when they saw the Christmas carnage.
At one point she drove her car into their house. Before the divorce was finalized, there were hundreds of attacks on his property, along with multiple death threats. She told several people she was going to shoot and kill them.
There is no disputing the fact her husband was unfaithful. However, he was not the aggressor in any of the violent confrontations. She was the one who repeatedly acted out violently, and in an antisocial, profane, and degrading manner to herself, her ex, his new partner, and to their children.
The evidence was very clear, as there was footage of her being arrested, and so out of control, she had to be physically restrained. There was also evidence of all the property damage she had done, as well as hundreds of profanity laced messages, and threats on his answering machine.
Initially she was granted $16,000 a month in alimony. Considering this was in the eighties, and she did not have custody of the children, how was that viewed as being so unfair? She was also living in the matrimonial home, and was demanding a one million dollar settlement, in addition to the alimony.
If you translate $16,000 a month alimony to today’s value, it would be $61,260.00 a month.
What if all the stress of her attacks would have caused him to quit working? The fact she was financially dependent on him, was not something he should be bashed over. There are countless women who have cheating husbands, and are lucky if they get child support.
The point is, no amount of money would have satisfied her. It was not all about money, it was also about power, and control. He had control, not only because he had money, but he also had self control.
Her loss of self control made her irrational and defenceless. How can anyone defend what she did? It was not only the murders, but all of her behaviours leading up to the murders. He too, must have been stressed and enraged. During her many interviews, she did not take any responsibility for all the vandalism either.
Her reactions were not his fault. She was powerless to keep him, and there was no reconciling the rage within her. She was not going to let another woman take her prize, or shatter her illusion of a perfect marriage.
In a sense, Betty Broderick remained just as immature as when she was a child, dreaming of a fairy tale wedding, and a life to go with it. She was an adult woman, now in her forties, having tantrum after tantrum, because things did not go her way.
Dan married his mistress Linda, on April 9th of 1989. Ironically, the wedding date was in close proximity to the date Betty and Dan had married. Their anniversary was April 12th. So that must have stuck the knife into her tortured psyche even deeper.
When they got married, Linda wanted her husband to wear a bullet proof vest, just in case Betty showed up and opened fire. Perhaps she didn’t fully realize she was as much of a target as he was, if not more so.
Just a few months later, in November of 1989, Betty managed to find a key in her daughter’s backpack. A few months prior to that, she had purchased a revolver. Given all her erratic, and unstable behaviour, you have to wonder how she was able to do that. But she did.
She used the key to enter their house at 5:30 am when they were both sound asleep, and quietly crept up the stairs, and into their bedroom. The rest is histrionic history. Linda woke up, and called Dan’s name, telling him to call the police. Betty immediately shot Linda in the head and chest, then shot Dan in the chest, as he was reaching for the phone.
She went home, and told her boyfriend she had shot them. She did have a boyfriend, and somehow that was okay, but it did not mean she was the least bit willing to move on. Her boyfriend was startled and aghast. He drove his Porsche to the home of another lawyer who knew Dan, to tell him what he believed had happened.
They tried calling police and ambulance, but did not know the full details of the crime, or if they had been shot for sure, so at first, they were not taken seriously. The pair then made a mad dash to the house, managed to get inside, and found both of them dead.
The first trial ended in a hung jury. After the second trial, she was convicted of two counts of second degree murder, in December of 1991.
Following her conviction, she gave multiple television and newspaper interviews. She adamantly portrayed herself as the victim, and believed they got what they deserved. Seriously? No one deserves to be shot while at home sleeping in their bed.
She claimed she did it to stop them from harassing her, and harming her further. She just wanted the misery they were inflicting on her to stop. Yet, she was the one doing the harassing. How can two sleeping people be a threat to her? But nothing could make her see her own faults.
What is astounding to me, is how many people sided with Betty, and bought into all the descriptions of her hard work in the early years, as well as his callous cruelty. Even if she did put him through ten or even twenty years of University, it does not justify shooting him for leaving her.
Clearly he did not want to be with her any longer, no matter whose fault it was, or what the reasons were. No one has the answers, when it comes to what happens between two people in a marriage. Sometimes they themselves do not know what caused the breakup. Insight is very valuable, but it may not occur until many years later, if at all. So far, Betty continues to lack even a minuscule amount of insight or remorse, so sadly for her, it may never happen.
Just as it is with men who kill their partners for leaving them, it appears Betty Broderick had objectified her husband, as a sort of trophy husband. He was her trophy, and no one was going to snatch it away from her, without facing a one woman firing squad. She had declared war on them, and there was only one way to win the war, in the trenches of her own tortured soul.
Affairs are dangerous, and nasty. People should get out of the marriage before getting into another relationship. But it is a fact of life that millions of marriages fail every single year, due to infidelity.
In speculating what happened between Dan and Betty, after seeing some of her interviews, and immature, closed mindedness toward showing a shred of remorse, perhaps Dan realized he had married an unstable, so-called bimbo.
Betty repeatedly called his mistress a bimbo, but it appears she was projecting what she was. She was the perfect leave it to beaver wife. However, her reactions over many years, created a portrayal of an unhinged, and unintelligent woman. The only thing beaver about it, was her relentless chewing on a malevolent log jam. She was fixated on one trajectory, and would not budge.
Given her personality, and reactions over a long period of time, her husband probably realized fairly quickly that he had made a big mistake in marrying her. She exhibited a classic example of arrested development. She was intellectually inferior, and did not use any kind of strategy to mitigate her losses. It was all insane and barbaric reactions to a fairly common betrayal. She ignored restraining orders and all court orders.
Eventually her husband set up a system of financial penalties for the various transgressions, ranging from $100-$1000. The profane telephone messages led to a $100 fine. Property crime led to a $500 fine. The more serious transgressions involving the children led to $1000 fine.
To give an idea of how many times she violated the boundaries, she ended up with so many fines, it eroded her alimony into the red. He did get restraining orders on her, so each time she harassed, or contacted them, she was in violation of the restraining order.
The fines were also seen as his ruthless control, and abuse of power over her. But what else could he do? He had no power over her scatterbrained conduct, and he is the one who paid the ultimate price. He was in his forties, in the prime of his life. His new wife was in her twenties. Who knows if that marriage would have lasted?
All tragedy carries many ifs. If he truly was a womanizer, he might have strayed again. If Betty would have been patient, she might have seen her rival face the same jilted fate. If Betty had handled things differently, she could have lived a rich and free life. If she would have waited a few years, she could have been a star, or a contributor to the script in the 1996 film, the First Wive’s Club.
The movie depicted three women seeking revenge over being dumped for younger women. However, even though the casting was good, it was a complete flop. It was supposed to be a comedy to address the issue of affairs by middle aged men, and the rejection of their wives, in favour of those younger women. But the movie did not have much panache, or even a punch line, for what was supposed to be a comedy. It ended up with two star reviews. So even then, Betty’s drama would hardly even warrant a single star, in the vast universe of rejection, and heartache.
She did not handle any part of it with grace or dignity. She had no regard for the trauma and psychological torture she had inflicted on her children. She showed no love for the man she had supposedly once cherished.
Her first parole hearing came up in 2010. She maintained the same harsh attitude toward the victims, and denied wrongdoing. She claimed the “gun just went off”. Yet she hit her targets with deadly precision, following through on multiple threats. By 2010, she had not changed her tune one bit.
Thirty years and more after the crime, by the age of 73, she had appeared before the parole board twice. Each time, she showed no remorse, and remained steadfastly unrepentant.
She was not granted another parole hearing until 2032. By then she will be 84 years old.
How could the tragedy have been averted? If Dan and Linda believed they might need bullet proof vests for their wedding, perhaps their house needed an alarm system.
Alarm systems were not as common in the late eighties, early nineties, as they are now. With four active children coming and going, it might have made alarms more difficult.
However if they had an alarm system turned on at night, it might have saved them. The other thing that might have saved their lives would have been to have a lock and dead bolt on their bedroom door. That way, she would have had to break the door down, or shoot through the door, which would have increased their chance of survival.
Of course hindsight is always easy for the armchair true crime readers. Regardless of what kind of person Dan Broderick was, he did not deserve to die, and she had no right to take her unbridled resentment out on two law abiding citizens, and the father of her children. It was horrific, and without justification of any sort.
If anything, Betty Broderick serves as an example of what anger, wrath, lack of remorse, and a hardened unrepentant heart can do to a person. She does not see herself as she truly is. Her revenge turned her into a monster.
One of the biggest mistakes murder victims make, is to fail to realize the person who is targeting them, will kill them. So many people will say they did not take it seriously, or did not think he/she had the guts, or was capable of carrying out the threats.
If a person consistently makes threats, and destroys another person’s property, they are showing signs of escalating, lethal violence. Property damage is an indirect way of assaulting, and showing total disregard for the rights of a victim. It is just one step away from an attack on the victim, and it does prove how much she objectified him. He was supposed to be her man, her success story, her image, the proverbial feather in her cap.
How is that different from a man objectifying a woman, for her beauty, her body, and the image he portrays if he views her as arm candy? If we are to view men and women as equals, we have to realize that men too, can be treated as ornamentation, albeit in a different way.
The notion that we all mellow with age, is not always true. Some people’s hearts become hardened. Some people hold onto wrath, a desire for revenge, and persistent delusional thinking.
If she does not change, or repent, she will likely die in prison. Even sadder, is that she will have had more than forty years to reflect, and show remorse, repentance, and a change of heart.
For those who condemn the victims, and support what she did, I find it incredible. When a marriage splits up, it takes two to make it happen. It is most unfortunate, and adultery is a common cause. Faithfulness cannot be mandated, or forced. It is a character trait, and in some cases, a person is in so much misery in a marriage, they are seeking a catalyst to end it.
However, a woman scorned, is no reason to unleash a barrage of hellfire onto a family, anymore than femicide is justified for whatever twisted reasons.
Repentance, self control, emotional management, to include forgiveness – are the only paths to getting over hurt and betrayal. Anger is a very real emotion, and it has to be worked through in non destructive ways.
Perhaps some of the worst examples of human behaviours stem from the notion that adults with more power, have the right to punish other adults for their misdeeds, or perceived misdeeds. Perhaps Dan should not have fined Betty for each of her transgressions, but instead might have chosen to leave it to the police, and courts do deal with her. All of his actions exacerbated her indignation, and tipped the balances of power even further.
The idea of having the authoritative power of punishment over other adults, is immoral. People have free will, and are allowed to set boundaries, or to leave a relationship, if they choose to. Dan Broderick no longer wanted to be with Betty. There was no way she could have forced him to change his mind. There was no way he could have forced her to accept his choice.
In other situations where there are power imbalances, financial punishment is one thing. But often children, grandchildren, and family roles, are taken away as part of the punishment, and abuse of power.
This is what the bible describes as iniquity, or unfair and corrupt treatment against those who are weaker or poorer. God promises many times throughout the entire bible, this will not go unpunished. Vengeance and judgment belongs to God, not to people. We do have laws, but some things are so devious, they are not distinguishable by the laws.
There is no excuse for violence or murder. There is also no justification in punishing another adult for the legitimate choices they make. Betty Broderick abused power more than anyone else in the entire saga. It is especially grievous if those abusing power target familial relationships, and use the weaker members (children) as pawns in the conflict.
Many people lack remorse, and refuse to admit wrongdoing. They carry out their punishments toward others willfully, and without remorse. Like Betty, they seriously believe their victims deserve mistreatment, and punishment. They do so at their own peril. Eventually all injustices will come to light.
In addition to setting boundaries, people do have the right to exercise their rights using the courts. Sometimes people abuse the process. When it comes to those who are truly cunning, and manipulative, it is a hard act to follow. Things become layered, and increasingly complex, especially as the years go by.
The most bitter battles revolve around those who have a lot of money. Sometimes excessive wealth is not all it is cracked up to be. It puts blinders on people. Instead of elevating, or edifying the bar of human ethics, and behaviours, it tends to lower the bar, right to the bottom of the barrel.
As it says in the bible, the root of all evil, is the love of money. It is not money, but rather, the love of money, that leads to evil. When you think about the root of so much evil, it is absolutely mind boggling.
For those who do see their own wrongdoing, and repent, they no longer walk in darkness. They allow their sinful ways to come under scrutiny. They are willing to show true remorse, and repentance, which leads to a change of heart. Otherwise, their hearts become hardened, and the obvious wrongdoing is obliterated from their own understanding.
We do make the choice, and we are all told to repent. Betty Broderick is an example of what kind of person the unrepentant person becomes. It is not a pretty sight.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.