Intentional Deception Is One Of The Greatest Cruelties

There is little dispute about the number of cruelties human beings have managed to inflict upon each other. The obvious acts of cruelty are violence, incitement of violence, and untamed words of anger and hatred.

However lies, deception, gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal – often under the pretence of love and kindness, are some of the worst things we have to endure. The classic betrayal happens in marriages, when one partner sneaks around and has an affair. Often, even though the other partner might suspect it, or even if they confront the offending partner, they continue to lie.

But there are countless other forms of betrayal, in families, in businesses, in advertising, and in government propaganda. When people are betrayed, they are often angry, and feel victimized. Sometimes anger leads to revenge. Sometimes lies and betrayal leads to crimes of violence.

Religion, politics, and the media, all carry their own special brand of lying, and sophisticated avenues of deception. This can lead to mass indoctrination, which has happened many times throughout history, and continues to happen to this day. In fact the deceptions have grown exponentially, due to the increase in broadcasting platforms, and the rapid dissemination of information.

The rise in independent publications has helped to balance, or warn people of intentional deceptions, but sometimes it only adds to the confusion. People get accused of being conspiracy theorists, and of spreading misinformation.

The task therefore is to discern what the truth is, and how we might protect ourselves from betrayal. Probably one of the most obvious forms of betrayal is found in romance scams. When it comes to emotional hoodwinking, some people are extremely gullible.

Healthy marriages help to protect people from predators. Unhealthy marriages can expose people to one of the most deadly situations of all, which is the love triangle. Love triangles have led to countless murders.

When marriages break down – the children are harmed, often beyond repair, because the illusion of trust and security is shattered. Things are not what they expected them to be. In all likelihood, the split partners are then subjected to the risks associated with online dating, and trying to find a partner, when there are children in the picture.

If the split happened because of an affair, the task to integrate the children into the new relationship, is full of court battles, custody arrangements, child support, and the need to forgive, in order to be able to effectively juggle it all. Some people do manage it, but life does become more complicated. 

I listened to a woman tell her story of being a victim of a romance scam. Although it was not her fault, she did have a responsibility to protect herself, to guard her heart, and her bank account.

Many people find partners through online dating, without being scammed. She happened to come across a slick con man, but in her case, there were many red flags. For some reason, she chose to ignore those warning signs.

For starters, she was taken in by elaborate stories of riches, family catastrophes, and secrecy. Anyone who is involved in online dating should familiarize themselves with the patterns surrounding romance scams. They follow a certain template, even though some are a little more discreet than others are. Real life is often mundane and ordinary. Fiction is full of James Bond like episodes. 

The basic template is one of riches, flattery and grandiose promises. The relationship is often advanced very quickly, with love bombing, and an attempt to pull the person away from other relationships, and friendships, because the perpetrator wants the undivided attention of his or her target.

Once they have the person on the hook, they start reeling them in. They add more elaborate layers to their plot. In the case of the woman describing her situation, her lover was not available in the evenings. She could not call him at home. Eventually she found out he was married.

In the organized crime template, once the person is on the hook, and being reeled in, all of a sudden the perp has an unforeseen drama. It might be an accident, an issue with a business partner, bank account, or tragedy in the family. This is used to garner sympathy, and the pooling, or pulling together of their combined resources.

The victim has already been love bombed with flattery and promises, so she accepts and trusts this sudden change of circumstances. The perp needs her help, and of course she is willing to help, because they are planning on building a life together.

So the cycle begins. First it is a few hundred, or a few thousand dollars. Then there is another explanation in order to get more money. Once the person is sucked into such a scheme, they find it increasingly difficult to get out of. To extricate themselves, they have to see the writing on the wall, admit they have been scammed, and terminate the relationship.

They have to deal with the recognition of both the emotional abuse, and the financial abuse, and cut their losses. The sooner they do this, the better off they are. Some of them allow it to go on, to the point they bankrupt themselves.

Many people who get duped, feel very ashamed once they realize how foolish they were. The shame compounds the damages, because the victim has difficulty explaining how or why they could have been so dumb. He or she may have lost an inheritance for their children, or grandchildren, so they feel remorse in the aftermath of it all. 

I think for anyone who is using social media or online dating, it would help to develop some criteria, or a checklist, to set emotions aside and evaluate what is going on. The checklist might include doing a reverse image look-up on the photo to see if they have set up a fake profile using someone else’s photo. 

Other things might be to go on a romance scam site to see what the standard patterns are. And probably most of all, arrange a public place such as a coffee shop to meet. You can tell far more about a person when they are sitting in front of you, than you can online. There is no point in developing a relationship online, because it could be purely fictional.

In some way or another, we have all been deceived. If we are targeted by someone who sets out to deceive us, especially during a time when we are weak and vulnerable, we can get caught in their snare.

There are times when the person who is betrayed does not garner much sympathy, because they were foolish in believing all the lies. On the flip side of the coin, trust is the basic foundation for love. We have to put our trust in others, in order to love each other. It is a risk we all take. 

I listened to the convoluted story of a homeless person in Seattle the other night. Although I really do not know if he was telling the truth or not, by the time he was finished, I came to the conclusion it was a con. Why? Because he never took responsibility, and each of his crimes was shrouded in a plausible explanation to make him look better.

At the age of eighteen, he ended up in prison for murder. He claimed he killed a guy who had molested his seven year old sister. Yet as the story went on, his sister was never brought up again. It is common knowledge that child sexual predators are the lowest of the low in the prison pecking order, so I began to wonder if he used it as an excuse to justify why he killed someone. 

He also claimed his father was a Hell’s Angel, but he was not. However, as he described more of his background, and how the Hell’s Angels had covered his legal costs, and bail, it became evident he was part of the gang. Later on he described being kidnapped and beaten by gangsters, yet he never did admit being part of the gangster system. 

His story was one colossal drama after another. He was portraying himself as both a hero, and a victim. Throughout the interview he was chain smoking. Toward the end, he claimed he had been diagnosed with not one, but two types of cancers. 

The finale of his story was the depth of his victimization. When he got out of prison in his late thirties, he was given housing, and a job. But he did not give up his impulsive criminal behaviour, all with one excuse after another. 

Even though he is deserving of sympathy, food, and shelter, I could not help but think he was telling a rather fictional story, in order to garner sympathy and get money. Even a person who is on the street needs food. He also had a dog to feed and care for, chain smoked, and admitted to taking drugs every day. His lifestyle would have cost him at least between two and three thousand a month. 

He was clearly very intelligent, but somehow early in life, he lost his way, as a part of intergenerational patterns, and self deception. His story illustrated how instead of becoming the hero of his own story line, he was actually the victim of his own deception. As time went on, he sank deeper into the dysfunction and deception he had orchestrated. The only hope for this man, and for all of us – is to repent before we die. There is no merit in continuing to deny our own nature, and wrongdoing. 

As I listened to this man, and all of his problems, it seemed like he was better off in prison. He never worked in his life, and when he was not in prison, he continued a life of crime. Then he ended up on the streets. It goes to show, there are some seasoned, and experienced criminals in the homeless camps. 

Scams are becoming part of our daily lives, and are intruding into our phones, emails, and bank accounts. There are phishing scams claiming to be from Amazon, UPS, Fed Ex, Pay Pal, Canada Post, Banks, and CRA. Some of them are very sophisticated and use the logo, and even have YouTube videos to set people up for the scam.

The CRA scams target seniors, claiming you have a deposit, with a link to open. Amazon scams will tell you your credit card has suspicious activity. Delivery companies will tell you they were unable to deliver a package, so open a link for further details.

In every case, do not engage or open any links. When I get phishing scams from PayPal or UPS, they have a phishing email to forward it to. If you suspect something is a scam, Google the organization to see if there are reports of scams. In many cases you will see notifications telling you they will never send you a text message, etc. If you get a phishing email, look at the address it came from. Usually that will tell you it is from a hotmail account, or will have a long string of characters.

If you are concerned because you receive a message about your bank or credit cards, look them up separately or call the number on the back of the card to see if there really has been any suspicious activity. If UPS says you have a package they cannot deliver, login to the site and use the tracking number you were given. Usually it is fake and does not show up. One time the tracking number I entered showed a package being shipped from state to state. It weighed several hundred pounds, so I knew it had nothing to do with me.

Similar to the romance scams, the fraudsters send you a fake identity, and try to bait you into taking the hook. They try to instil a sense of urgency, because taking the hook, means you react. They are trying to get access to your accounts.

Another vulnerability is in passwords. Personally, I don’t think it is a good idea to save passwords on your devices. I know many people do, but in my opinion, hackers can get into any device. 

A recent scam, is to contact people on social media, and get them involved in a fake investment plot, using gift cards. The victim willingly buys the gift cards, which are available in grocery stores, and department stores. They are then asked to send the code for the gift card to the scammer. The scammer gets the value of whatever is on the card, without leaving any banking, or credit card to trace. One elderly woman lost thousands of dollars, believing she was investing in a business from an old high school acquaintance who had contacted her via FaceBook. 

Another elderly couple lost over $600,000 to an Amazon scam. They were duped into giving banking information with claims a parcel had been re-routed from Hong Kong and they had to pay the shipping, which would be refunded once it was sorted out. It was a con in order to get access to the funds in their bank account. 

In my opinion if Amazon makes a mistake, which is usually a third party seller, it is up to them to remedy the mistake. You can go to the Amazon website, under Customer Service and follow up on a delayed refund etc. The rule of thumb is to not engage with whoever contacts you, then go directly to the organization to double check.

You do not send or receive a delivery without a legitimate tracking number. If you receive an order from an organization that you did not order, let them follow up to remedy it without giving them any credit card or bank info. After all, if you did not order it, you cannot get a mailing label to return it, and nor do you have an order number to follow up on because you did not make the purchase. 

My response to having received something you did not order, is to wait a few weeks, and then donate it. There is no easy way to follow up on something you did not order. If a company cannot keep track of what they are doing, or find a way to remedy it – it is not my problem. I do not want to get involved in any third party seller scams. 

PayPal is very good when it comes to helping prevent scams. They have an outline to help you identify phishing scams, as well as an email address to report them to. When I was charged on my PayPal account for a service I did not receive, it was resolved quickly. 

One of the most well known betrayals of all time, is the betrayal of Christ by Judas Iscariot. Typical of human nature, Jesus was betrayed for money. Judas was the treasurer among the apostles, and was entrusted with the money. The biblical record involving the betrayal of Jesus, has many lessons, and deeper meanings.

The big difference of course, is that Christ was without sin, and was not fooled by the impending betrayal. He knew Judas was harbouring dark thoughts, even though he was pretending to be a follower of Christ. The final kiss Judas imparted onto Jesus, was symbolic of betrayal, hidden under the guise of love. In actual fact, the kiss was part of a scheme to identify Jesus to those who intended to crucify him. 

The outcome for Judas was devastating. He realized his error, but it was too late. He tried to remedy the betrayal by giving the money back, and then ended up hanging himself. Part of what this betrayal teaches us, is the consequences of betrayal, and how it can set off a chain of events. 

Even though we have all been deceived in some ways, we cannot under estimate the importance of seeking the truth. Christ warned us many times, not to be deceived. For those who do not seek and love the truth, the bible tells us – they  are sent strong delusion, so they will believe lies. There are serious ramifications surrounding deception.

Truth is not a matter of opinion. Truth is truth. The opposite of truth is deception and lies. Sugar coated lies, are worse than anything. Attempts to force lies on us by those who abuse power, is appalling, and often there is little we can do about it.

Getting out from under the oppressive blanket of those who abuse power, and lie pathologically, is probably the most difficult challenge we will ever face.

Many pious Christians will condemn everything but lying and arrogance. Yet among the seven things listed in the Book of Proverbs that God hates the most – are lying and a haughty look. The list of things God hates embodies all of the terrible things stemming from self deception, and deceiving others. Pride, arrogance, scheming, and violence are the outcomes.

As crafty and arrogant as many liars are – they will lose. In my own life as a kid in school, I was taken captive by a high school teacher who ruthlessly brainwashed me with lies. He would force me into his car, and take me home with him for the night, indoctrinating me with a litany of falsehoods. As a student, and obsessive target of this teacher, I had nowhere to turn. It was horrible to the point of being torture. 

I knew it was profoundly abusive, and to this day, I consider it to be the most abusive relationship by far, of my entire lifetime. It was downright sadistic, and never once did he consider I had every right to say no, or even the right to be who I am. I did not have the right to feel the way I feel, to think the way I think, or even to be a member of my own family.

He was especially dogmatic if I dared to think my mother was my mother. He pretended to be very hurt by such assertions on my part. I was raised by my mother, and looked just like her. Ironically her name was Joy, and I was nicknamed by our Swedish grandmother as a toddler, as Little Joy. I have always had a good memory, so of course I knew who my mother was from the day I was born. 

I clearly remember when our younger brother was born, even though I was only fourteen months old at the time. We had a big black car with a red interior. He was put in a wicker basket on the floor in the back seat when he was brought home from the hospital. When we got home and all piled out of the car, our mother said “don’t step on the baby.” 

I remember with great curiosity watching her change his diaper. When he peed, she said, “Oh he is a boy all right.” A month or so later she was holding him while sitting on the arm of a large upholstered chair. I was sitting on the couch falling asleep. She said, “you’re tired, it is time for bed.” I vehemently shook my head, no way, I was not tired. I got off the couch and walked across the floor, and fell over. She laughed and said, “see you are so tired!” 

Of course I remember countless things about my childhood like anyone else. Why did the teacher and his wife think I would not remember? It is baffling to this day. They were total strangers to me, yet they pretended to have raised me. They did not raise me for one day of my upbringing. They created this pretence, and after awhile people seemed to believe it. I used to think – surely no one believes this. How could they? But carefully crafted lies, when repeated over and over again, soon become ingrained. They believe their own delusions. 

The teacher was very authoritarian. Every time I refuted something he said, which was often, he would puff up, and threaten punishment. I was being defiant, and difficult to manage. He would claim I needed intervention, and was emotionally disturbed. He lied brazenly about things that are obvious and easy to prove.

He was also very determined to make sure I did not think I was smart, when I knew full well I had skipped a grade, and was academically gifted. Not to the extreme, but moderately so. He really honed in on shaming the intelligence out of me.

He was in his twenties at the time, and was married. He insisted I had the same IQ as his wife. I found such a claim to be really bizarre. I knew I did not have the same IQ on two given days, so how could I have the same IQ as his wife? It was like I could not even own my brain, or what I thought. He was in control of my mind, and my potential. He took credit for it, not me. 

He repeated the IQ lie (along with many other lies for years). His wife did not accelerate through school, did not show any signs of academic giftedness, and did not graduate from nursing until she was in her mid twenties. The teacher forced me into a nursing program, so I could not accept a scholarship into an English lit program. Then he took credit for the fact I was a nurse. Once again, it was his accomplishment, not mine. 

Even though I had no desire to be a nurse, I knew I had to get a post secondary education. So I did not quit and drop out even though I was very young. I did not find the courses difficult, but did not like the hospital part at all. On the wards, I felt it was all very strange, and worrisome. Like, what if I did not put one of those circular beds together properly, and dropped a person on their head? I always felt like a fish out of water. Fortunately, I did learn pretty quickly, to adapt and figure things out.

I ended up writing the RN exams when I was nineteen. As I got to know the teacher’s wife, I knew darn well she was not that bright. I used to think to myself – she married him, so how could she be bright? I tried to explain the teacher situation to the University English professor, who was trying to steer me into a scholarship program.

He was livid when he heard me stammering out why I had to stay in nursing, and how this teacher had taken control of my life. He told me it should be reported to the police. At the time, I was far too scared to do anything about it. 

Eerily, during my last conversation with the teacher’s wife, she described to me in graphic detail how she had drowned the family cat in the rain barrel. I grew up on a farm, and carried the cats, and the chickens around like babies. I fed pigs and calves with a baby bottle. The notion of drowning a cat in a rain barrel was absolutely abhorrent to me. I do not have cats, and don’t think I have ever had a cat as an adult, but still – I have nothing against cats. 

I do not believe in being cruel to animals at all, ever. She told me how she had injected the cat with some Valium she had brought home from where she had worked. She justified it by saying she took home the expired drugs. I wondered how many she had stockpiled before she retired. Expired drugs are supposed to be returned to the pharmacy.

I would not even recount any of this, if it had not been for the supreme arrogance I was subjected to by these people, lording their pharisaical superiority over me. They were “wonderful Christians” and I was chopped liver. They were monitoring, and exploiting me for reasons I could not conceive of for many years. 

My home was supposed to be dedicated to them, as their own private vacation property, complete with maid service. My car was there for them to use. They would come and visit uninvited. There were times when I begged them not to visit, but they came anyway. 

They had both become so controlling, she would tell me shhhh when I started talking in my own house. She would chastise me for opening the fridge to get a snack. Once again, it was my house and they were the guests.

I was paying the bills, and bought the food. It just illustrates how much gall, disrespect, and entitlement they had. They believed there was no way I could get rid of them. It was a life sentence. I could not go for a walk without them, even though he walked so slow, it was not what I had in mind when I went for a walk. I think it was just more of his passive aggressive behaviour. 

By the time I made the decision to get them out of my life once and for all, the next visit they were planning, was for around three months. I could not stand a week with them. In fact, I got through the last visit minute, by painstaking minute.

As each minute ticked by, I told myself – “when they leave, I am not going to spend one more minute with these people.” Getting them out of my life, was a battle like none other. I kept my resolve, but wrangled to keep firm in my decision, for another twelve years, in spite of all the pressure. The bullying to resume the relationship, was like being back in school, or back on the farm. 

In fact, it is still going on, because the punishment, and rejection for terminating the relationship, has become part of my life. It has become my lot in life, and cross to bear. I do not regret terminating the relationship. The only thing I do regret is allowing it to happen in the first place. I should have screamed blue murder, and gone to the police as a student, but I was seriously ganged up on. 

 I could never reconcile all of the extreme contradictions. When you cannot resolve such cognitive dissonance, or insolent hypocrisy, it is crazy making. They were the crazy ones, not me. I do not think it is okay to drown the family cat in a rain barrel. Take it to the SPCA, or a vet for crying out loud. 

I do not think it is okay for a twenty eight year old teacher to follow, and chase a teenage girl around. None of it was okay. It has been an epic saga. Like many cult members, they were determined to pretend they were family. They were not my family in any way, shape or form.

The cat she drowned was quite a large cat, and the injection of Valium did not sedate it much, so she battled the cat to the finish. Since she had put on an old ski jacket, and heavy gauntlet gloves, I surmised she prepared herself, fully expecting it to fight for it’s life.

Apparently it did put up a real bonafide cat fight, trying desperately to get away. But she prevailed over the cat. I wonder what it felt like to have done such a thing, and be left standing there with a dead, soaking wet, bundle of flesh and fur? Did she bury it somewhere? Or turf it in the bush? I didn’t ask her the details. In my dumbfounded state, I did ask her “Why?”

She said, “Oh it was becoming quite a nuisance. It scratched the screens, and some of the furniture.” Well then don’t get a cat! The reason I never got a cat, is because I do not want kitty litter in my house, or a cat retching up a hair ball on my bed.

If they did not live in a remote location, and someone would have witnessed it, she could have been arrested. Were they too cheap to take it to a vet? Or did she enjoy inflicting harm? Those were some of the things running through my mind. 

I know the colour drained from my face as she told me about it. Since they had young grandchildren at the time, I asked her if there were any children there. She said no. But surely they must have asked what happened to the cat. 

The final visit with them had many deeply disturbing elements, from the cat to the fish they were demanding. I was living on Haida Gwaii at the time, and they were bound and determined to force me to take enough fish to Alberta for their niece’s wedding. I did not even know their niece, but even if I did, who makes that kind of demand on another person?

I kept saying no, I don’t have enough fish for a wedding. Plus getting it there is no easy task. So I just kept saying no. They would not take no for an answer, as usual. The battle over both the fish and the cat, became quite symbolic to me. 

There were so many occasions where I thought they were worse than moonshine hillbillies in the back woods. They showed up at all my family functions, acting like they were some kind of sanctimonious celebrities. In the back of my mind, I thought of them as the goon squad. Sorry but…

I did not have the exact same IQ as that cat snuffing woman. Some days I could breeze through an exam and ace it. Other days I felt tired and foggy. I distinctly remember waking up on exam days, and saying a prayer to be clear headed, because often I did not study much. The teacher’s focus on my mind, was a molestation of my mind. One day he is going to face judgement for what he did. I needed the teacher, like I needed a hole in the head. 

I was verbal, and quite sassy. I tried everything under the sun to negate the bizarre things he was repeating to me. It was all to no avail, and is the reason my number one regret is not going to the police immediately. He should have had his licence as a teacher revoked, and he should have been arrested for abduction and forcible confinement.

He had no right to force me into a car, and then force me to sit and listen to his lunatic drivel for hours on end. He thought I had zero value as a person. I was no more than a stray dog or cat to torment for his amusement. 

He was so arrogant, he seriously believed I would never escape it all. For years, I tried to reason with the teacher, and my own family members. I tried to extricate myself gracefully. I wanted to protect their reputations, in my role as a self-sacrificing sucker, by trying to be nice.

As a result, and to my own detriment, it went on for years. Reasoning with them was futile. So finally, I started to fight back. I reported it to the police, which I should have done the very first time I was chased down, and forced into his car. I was never under his jurisdiction. He took liberties as a teacher that no teacher should ever get away with. 

After my onset of anger, during a time when I did say things I regret, it was clear, my heart had broken into open rebellion. Being nice did not cut it. In fact, the expectation of being nice, and a people pleaser, is exactly what they were taking advantage of.

It took many years to unravel it all, and get out from under the brainwashing. He was a fanatical religious fundamentalist, and had infiltrated my family. So for years, he was invited to every family function and treated as the daddy-god. 

In hindsight, and after the benefit of some time and healing, I have mellowed. But I would never in a million years allow him to get near me again. He stared constantly, without blinking. It was profoundly creepy. In my opinion, he was bound and determined to destroy me. He constantly attacked my identity, my family history, my mind, emotions, and spirit. It was a soul destroying trap.

The one and only advantage to be extrapolated from such a foul and deceptive relationship, is I began seeking the truth, and started reading the Bible for myself. Much of what he heaped upon me, was religious indoctrination and shame. I realized he had lied about absolutely everything.

Although it was victimization, with countless re-victimizations, I do take responsibility for the fact I should not have allowed it to go on. I was actually being mocked as a fool. In some ways I deserved it, because allowing ourselves to be deceived, is a huge mistake. I am still facing the fall-out of having permitted such a colossal deception over my life to continue.

I can forgive my family members, because the family was fractured, and I believe this teacher took advantage of all of us in a diabolical way. I know we are to forgive those who trespass against us, so I do hope and pray I can figure out how to forgive the teacher as well.

The one important lesson I learned, and I suppose indirectly I can thank him for the lesson, is how cults operate, how liars operate, and how destructive it is. He was a false teacher and a false prophet. For his sake, the smartest thing he could do is admit to all the lies, and repent. During the time I knew him, he certainly did not show any sign of repentance. So who knows? I have never been so glad to be rid of someone, and thank God every single day to be free of his soul scorching deception.

The teacher carried out all of the things God hates, with the exception of shedding innocent blood. But he and his wife were both cruel to animals, and killed many of their pets, to include shooting a dog for getting excited and jumping up on someone, along with drowning a cat in a rain barrel. They killed many pets over the years. 

When I was a student in school, he stalked and followed me outside of school, and chased me down, in order to force me into his car. So if you look at all the things God hates – he pretty much carried out all of them, over, and over, and over again. He was one determined individual, and it was only by the grace of God, I was finally able to disentangle myself from the cultish teacher.

There are many cult religions, and even within mainstream religions, there are cultish people who abuse people, through deceptive manipulation of bible verses, and spiritual abuse. This particular teacher was part of the Exclusive Brethren cult. He treated me as a non person who he could lie to, lie about, and manipulate at will.

From Proverbs Chapter 6, it is pretty clear to me now – the teacher in spite of his all encompassing hubris, he managed to do all of the things God hates. The admonishments to view him as a wonderful Christian was just more bullying manipulation and control.

He was a push in predator. Once they get a foot in the door, they push in, and take control of your life. If you ever come across a person like this, my advice is to slam the door in their face, dead bolt it, and be ready to call the cops. 

I guess the conclusion is – no I do not view him as a wonderful Christian, and never did. In my heart, I always knew he was cruel and sadistic. I only wish I would have rejected every one of his lies, long before I did.

16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.