March 13, 2026
| Valerie Hayes
| Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, Valerie Hayes, View All Articles & Photos
The Kouri Richin’s case was brought into the limelight because after the death of her husband, she claimed to have written a children’s book about grief, to help her children cope with the death of their father.
She contacted media outlets, and did interviews, all of which drew attention to her situation. As it turns out, it has come out in the trial, that she hired a ghost writer and vanity press, so it was just one of the many layers, upon layers of deceptions.
The book is no longer available, because apparently the family of the victim sued, and had it removed. The book has been shared online by various true crime podcasters. It is a haunting book that does not seem like it would comfort anyone, except maybe the author. It might in her own mind, reduce guilt by portraying her husband as having angel’s wings, and being capable of attending all the family parties, and soccer games.
The illustrations for the book are also very questionable. They do not show children going on with their lives, but rather show a lone child in a hallway at school, a lone child in bed at night looking terrified, a lone child sitting in a large chair opening gifts. It does not show the children surrounded by family, friends, grandparents, and neighbours as one would expect.
When she gave a televised interview about he book, she said the words “you know” over, and over again. What did the interviewers know? How could they know? So what was the point of saying that repeatedly, unless it was filler, in order to avoid any in-depth questioning. She was informing them that they knew what they did not know, so it seemed like a manipulative, or avoidant way to frame the interview (in my opinion).
She soon became a prime suspect in the murder of her husband Eric Richins. The couple’s three young children, three boys aged three to nine at the time, are probably the most unfortunate victims in this entire saga, next to their father.
Eric Richins was a partner in a successful stone mason company. At the time of his death his net worth was around five million dollars. He made over $400,000 US per year to provide for his young family. He was an active, involved family man, and well liked member of the community.
Perhaps one of the revenge motives for Kouri began as early as the day they married. She was presented with a pre-nuptial agreement to sign. Her husband had already been through a messy divorce, and did not want to ever have to drag his company assets into another divorce.
Maybe he had a glimpse into a future with a wife he could not trust, and thought he was protecting himself, and their soon to be young family. But little did he know that a wife who cannot be trusted, is a deadly proposition. One does wonder why a pre-nuptial agreement would be presented to the bride by a family member on the day of the wedding?
You would think a pre-nuptial agreement would be discussed between the bride and groom, and signed beforehand. By the day of the wedding, most people are not in a position to back out of the wedding, or the pre-nuptial. It may have seeded some resentment on her part.
His good name, his flaws, and every pill he took in the previous twenty years, was put under a microscope. Sadly, a murder victim gets dragged though the mud on all of the minute aspects of his or her life, when they are no longer here to defend themselves. It sticks another knife into the heart’s of those who loved him. They have to sit through it all, and listen to every detail, when they must feel like screaming.
One of the things the defence has harped on endlessly is the claim that Eric Richins used cannabis in the form of gummies on a regular basis. This is designed to make the leap that he was a hard core fentanyl addict. However, no one seems to be pointing out that there was no THC in his stomach, or in his system. If he was a user of cannabis, it would have shown up in the toxicology reports, because cannabis stays in the body longer than most other drugs. The fact there was no sign of THC or cannabis, means he could not have been a regular user, and had not used cannabis recently (prior thirty days at least).
Who knows where and when it all began, but given the litany of deceptive practices on the part of Kouri, her pattern of behaviour must have been a lifelong thing.
Going back to her early years, apparently both parents were engineers. Her father ended up in prison over alcohol related issues, and her mother was reported to be a compulsive gambler. Kouri felt the sting of being judged by others as coming from a troubled family.
Troubled families are often the subject of gossip, which is difficult for the children to endure. She became fixated on money, and image. Money is a sign of success, and allows a person to portray the image, and pride that goes along with it. She may have formulated that concept with a laser focus in order to overcome a troubled childhood. Or she may have had some ingrained mental health issues. At this point, no one knows for sure what drove the behaviours.
After they married, she got a real estate licence and started flipping houses. This gave her all kinds of leeway with large sums of money. However, she was more of a gambler like her mother, and tended to lose money, instead of manage it with a gradual accumulation of net worth.
Over time, she owed far more than she made. In fact it sounds like she owed almost the equivalent of her husband’s entire net worth. It’s hard to believe she never managed to make a profit on any of those deals. Yet she envisioned herself to be the shining star of one successful venture after another.
When she got her real estate license, she began one of the most convoluted journeys ever put on trial in front of the public. She set up and changed life insurance policies. She started seeking out lethal doses of fentanyl, and propofol, which she knew was the drug that killed Michael Jackson.
She did not end up getting her hands on propofol, but she did line up some dealers to get her opiates, and fentanyl. She also had some prescription Seroquel, which was found to be part of the cocktail she allegedly used to kill her husband.
As it is with so many spousal murders, she was also having an affair. She was supporting her lover, and gave him vehicles, along with large sums of money. It sounds like she dumped him shortly after the murder.
It also sounds like she may have been setting him us as the fall guy, to be framed. However that panned out, he dodged a bullet. There was also an inference that she tried a lethal dose of drugs on him as well, because he gave an account of eating something she provided, and then not waking up for something like fourteen hours. He also spoke of having supernatural experiences with her. Whatever that means?
Of all the witnesses, he was the least sharp of them all, by a long shot. I think it garnered him even more sympathy. You could see that he had been a fish on a hook, getting reeled in, with no more awareness of what was going on than a hapless fish.
On top of all the other shenanigans, to include deleting hundreds of text messages and emails, changing insurance beneficiaries, and forging her husbands signature to take out a large loan, there was more. Much more.
She attempted to poison him more than once, causing him to be violently ill. He became suspicious. He was so worried, he put all his assets into a separate trust, confided his concerns to others, and got a divorce attorney.
Meanwhile his wife never stopped scheming for a second. She was allegedly seeking out the drugs to kill him. She was setting up one financial con after another. And after she was arrested, she never toned it down.
Perhaps one of the most damning things she did after her arrest, was to write a letter from her jail cell, called “Walk the Dog”. The letter outlined a witness tampering perjury plot she was planning to set up. She wanted to get to her family, specifically her brother, to testify (give false testimony) about her husband, and his supposed drug use.
She wanted him to testify that her husband was a chronic drug user, and got drugs from Mexico. The letter incriminates her beyond what most of us can comprehend, because we are not trial lawyers, or prosecutors. But it is enough to potentially remove all reasonable doubt about her guilt.
For her own lawyers, such actions are the stuff of nightmares. She could not stop scheming and incriminating herself. She could not keep anything under wraps, or in the vault of attorney client privilege, which would have, or could have been protected from exposure. I guess in a way, her games of playing fast and loose as a cannon, with no shortage of ammunition, is a blessing for the prosecution, and for those who want to see her locked up.
She also went on a fishing spree about the autopsy results. The recorded phone call was played in court. She called the medical examiner’s office, and throughout the call, was giddy, and acted like she was talking about a drain pipe or something, not the death of a human being, who was her husband.
It was clear she wanted to know what they knew, and what had been determined about his manner of death. She was curious to know whether they could determine the amount of fentanyl in his system. She wanted to know if they could tell if it had been ingested, or injected. If she did what she is accused of doing, she knew full well it had been ingested.
She wanted to know if there was anything else detected, because she had also dosed him with Seroquel, which is a highly sedating antipsychotic drug that would have potentiated the effects of the opiates she gave him. During the conversation she was very upbeat, laughing inappropriately, and literally fishing for information.
She was talking more like a salesperson seeking to find out the objections she might have to overcome in order to close a deal. There was not even a hint that she was a grief stricken widow. You would think that for most people, such details would be very upsetting.
The list of witnesses include her best friend who she stole a sum of money from, which caused her friend to end up homeless.
Her husband’s elderly father took the stand absolutely heart broken. All of Eric’s family had to move into position to protect his children, his assets, his house, his safe, which she was drilling into, and as a result, got into a physical fight with a family member.
They had to put up cameras in and around the house, which was put into a family trust, barring her from all access. They hired a private investigator, which cost a huge sum. They had to give the police access to the house numerous times, accompanying them to deal with multiple search warrants. They had to document and submit evidence, one thing after another, to the sheriff’s office. They had to set up supervised visits with the children. No doubt, it must have consumed their lives.
After his death she sent text messages to certain people, thrilled about her newfound wealth. She claimed she was going to be rich. She did in fact get insurance payouts for something like $1.3 million dollars. A forensic accountant testified when each deposit was given to her, and showed the bank documents of each deposit, in three different lump sums.
Within a matter of weeks, she spent all of it. The $1.3 million rapidly dwindled, and by the third month she had $820.00 left in her account.
It would not matter what sum of money was given to Kouri Richins. If it was $20 million, it would have gone up in smoke. Real estate was her gambling addiction, a very sinister and deadly game of blackjack. She could not control whatever it was that drove her poor decision making.
Instead of re-evaluating her strategy, considering bankruptcy, or admitting she had made a mess of things, she resorted to crime. Theft, forgery, tampering with documents, and false claims to lenders, all became patterns, and were central to her business practices. When that wasn’t enough, she resorted to a murder plot.
Each hurdle she faced turned someone else into a victim. How she managed to buy that many houses is beyond comprehension. By the time she bought the huge mansion, closing on it the day after her husband’s death, she was in dire straights financially. She had no money to renovate any of the homes, and several were already being foreclosed on. She was paying high interest loan payments in massive sums.
All of this, when she had a husband who was providing for the family very well. She defrauded him, stole from him, and used his credit rating without his knowledge to finance her crumbling empire.
Many people face financial ruin. Sometimes is is based on our own foolish mistakes, and sometimes it is based on circumstances. If we find ourselves trapped in an unwanted relationship, it is going to cost money to get out of it.
It got to the point where Kouri wanted her husband’s money, but she did not want him. She did not want to simply get a divorce, because of the pre-nuptial agreement she had signed. The pre-nuptial was set up so that if they divorced, he kept the assets. But if he died, the assets would be transferred to her. It was probably more complicated, but basically that is what came out in the trial about it. She told friends she felt trapped.
This is a story about the love of money to the exclusion of all else. It borders on a psychotic delusion of grandeur and riches. I believe the Seroquel she added to the cocktail that killed her husband, was a drug that had been prescribed for her. Her illusion of creating massive wealth single handedly through a bunch of flippant real estate deals, might be viewed as symptoms of psychosis. I am surprised the defence did not introduce an insanity defence.
It might have been her only hope, although it would probably have failed because she is alert, aware of what is going on, is coherent, planning, and knew right from wrong based on her efforts to hide her crimes, etc. She is playing an active role in her own defence.
But even so, as the saying goes – she was not playing with a full deck. It kind of reminds me of Erin Patterson, the Australian death cap mushroom poisoner.
She was supposedly smart, yet was dumber than all the idioms you could drum up, to describe how dumb she was. If you try to describe it, you might get banned from the conversation.
In social media, you cannot call a crazy person a lunatic, even if they killed numerous people. I guess it is viewed as being far too mean. What they did is always described as “what a shame, the poor person did not get the help they needed”.
I always wonder why the victim, or victims did not get the help, or more so, the protection they deserved, when the perpetrator showed so many signs, and patterns of plotting harm.
Kouri Richins, in spite of all her scheming and plotting, did not exhibit sound decision making, or the ability to see the writing on the wall. She had what most would consider to be the perfect life. She had a husband who was providing for her very well, and who was building wealth.
He was not even forty years old when he died. If he had lived until retirement, they would have been multi-millionaires. As it was, they were living in a beautiful home, had nice vehicles, and took frequent vacations. She had a nanny and housekeeper. Clearly she was not paying the bills because her real estate business was in deep debt, and was not generating any income. It was the proverbial black hole.
Most of all, they had three healthy, active boys, and were a family with all the interests that go with raising a young family.
One of the saddest parts of the entire trial, was how the boys were sequestered in a playroom on the second floor of the house, as all the chaos unfolded with police and paramedics trying to revive their father, and figure out what had happened.
Although extended family members tried to shield the boys, the two older ones knew. When his body was taken out of the house, they ran to the window, and saw him covered up and loaded into an ambulance. Apparently the older one was stoic and quiet. The other one was inconsolable. He ran and got his dads Apple watch. He wanted that watch because his father always wore it, and he knew it recorded what his father was doing, in addition to his heartbeat, and breathing.
His mother Kouri immediately took the watch away from him, and deleted all of the history on that watch, before handing it back to him. I wonder if that will be seared into his memory, especially as the truth of what happened becomes clear as he gets older?
On the morning of his death, all the footage of how she reacted, is also being dissected during the trial. Those poor kids. She repeated over and over how she had been sleeping with one of the children, like she was setting up an alibi.
For those of us who are Christians, we know we are all sinners. We all fall short, and often let down those we love. Therefore we are all called upon to acknowledge our wrongdoing, and repent. In this case, if the allegations are true, there were multiple egregious crimes against her own family, and those who were close to her.
To repent brings about overwhelming awareness and remorse. It is a crushing realization to recognize the sin in our life. So far, she is not showing much remorse. She seems curious, alert, and yet strangely detached.
One of the saddest things about this trial is to see the complete lack of remorse, as each and every sordid lie, and deception is brought forward. So far, no tears, no shame, no signs of emotion. Professional people on the witness stand showed more emotion than she has shown.
Will she break? She gives the appearance of a student, or schoolmarm studying a math problem. She looks rather hawkish, and alert, like she does not want to miss an opportunity if one should arise.
Occasionally you can see her chewing on the inside of her cheek. Sometimes she looks a little bored, and other times she becomes very focused, and attentive on the testimony being given. When her friends testified against her, she looked outraged.
As each day progresses, and the evidence piles on threatening to bury her, she has started to look a little more vulnerable. It appears that her defence team are duds. They are not the least bit likeable, and are not even borderline professional.
The judge rules the roost. He is running the show like a symphony. His deeply baritone voice is strong and calming. He is fair and compassionate toward witnesses, and shows no negative emotion, or bursts of ego like you see in other courtroom dramas. He seems to know what he is doing, and is handling all the courtroom kerfuffles very well.
He is like a considerate coach, telling people to stretch their legs, take a break, and be mindful of instructions. One of the most emotional witnesses was Kouri’s boyfriend, the one she was having an affair with. The judge was very compassionate toward him, as he broke down throughout his testimony.
Even at the onset when he was being sworn in, and told to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, he was like “huh? I don’t know what the whole truth is”. He struggled. But in spite of it all, because he was so remorseful, and raw with his emotions, there was compassion for him.
Her lover’s testimony did not change her hawkish demeanour. I am not sure how much longer the trial is going to go on, but it could be a couple more weeks. It will be very interesting to see how long the jury deliberates, what the verdict is, and most of all – if she will finally show some emotion.
This is a woman, and a family who needs prayer. The rippling effect of her actions is immeasurable.
If anything, the cautionary tale is about the love of money, and how it truly is the root of all evil.
I have followed portions of a few notable trials of intrigue. Once they are over and done with, you wonder how the person lives their once privileged life in prison. No doubt they adapt, as they do not have much choice. In some cases it might even bring an out of control life, into a routine with less chaos and anxiety.
It seems to me that poisoning has to be one of the most underhanded deceptions known to humans. A person you trust, plots to give a lethal dose, all the while pretending to be a loving family member.
A prime example is the testimony that on Valentine’s Day, she left a poisoned sandwich in his work truck with a love note on top of it. She then went off to be with her lover, while he coped with the near death experience, and aftermath of what she had done.
This trial brings to mind the death cap mushroom poisoning in Australia. In that case, the woman Erin Patterson had two children, a beautiful home, a large inheritance, supportive extended family, and a very comfortable life.
Instead of hobbies, or whatever – she spent her time plotting murder. She seemed to think she could conjure up a plot of murder, deception and mayhem, and get away with it.
She tricked her husband’s family members into coming over for a family meal. She served them beef wellington, and chatted throughout the three hour visit, knowing full well she had signed their death warrant. It took many hours, or days for each one of them to die. As they became sicker and faced death, the realization of how they had been duped and set up, must have been devastating.
It makes you wonder – what if these women with their poison plots did get away with it? Would they get whatever rage they harboured toward others out of their system? Would they go from murder to living the perfect life they envisioned post revenge? Or would they continue to plot more grandiose destructive schemes?
Who knows? All it can teach us, is that not only is the love of money, the root of evil, but so too, is a lack of forgiveness, and harbouring resentment, bitterness and rage.
Ironically, there is nothing wrong with being poor financially. There is nothing wrong with being humble and poor in spirit.
We can be poor, as well as poor in Spirit, and still find solace and acceptance in what Jesus has done for us, if we place our trust in Him. We will inherit the earth as promised, and we will be part of God’s kingdom, and family. We will no longer have to deal with scheming, and scams.
Matthew 5:3
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
For so many reasons, the bible teaches us to repent – to let go of wrath, to forgive, to love, not to hate. We are to turn the other cheek, to persevere through injustices, to embrace and live each day as a new day, with the knowledge it could be our last day.
We have so many reasons to seek the truth, which can only be found in Jesus, in God’s word, and through not only hearing and reading God’s word, but in obedience to His word. Depravity begins with deception. One thing leads to another. Lying develops layers, and patterns of deceit that can destroy a soul.
Whereas the promise and hope we find in Christ will show us the way, the truth and the life. John 14:6
6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
The oath to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, should apply to our everyday lives. Deception is the path of destruction.
January 2, 2026
| Valerie Hayes
| Health & Wellness, My Story, Thoughts & Ideas, Valerie Hayes, View All Articles & Photos
Some of the top concerns this past year have been around land claims, the Israel conflict, rising cost of living, rising government debt, deteriorating health care, and the increasing use of AI.
None of these things have easy answers, other than to let us know there seems to be increasing instability in many areas. World peace is not happening. In fact there are now twice as many armed conflicts compared to fifteen years ago. Recent stats show there are 130 armed conflicts throughout the world.
Things we once thought were secure investments such as owning a home, are no longer certain. Some pundits are predicting financial crisis and banking collapses.
In Canada, for many years we could rely on our health care system. Now there is a sobering realization that we may not be able to get health care at all. At least 30% of people in BC, Canada do not have a family doctor.
For those who go to the ER for health related issues, the wait list can be many hours, even for serious health concerns. People are relying on ER visits for cancer diagnostics. We can no longer rely on the systems we once took for granted.
Instead of health care, people are being offered MAID for chronic pain, terminal illnesses, and a variety of other reasons. I have been following a woman who is documenting her stage 4 cancer diagnosis on YouTube. She is from the US, and travels between New York, Seattle and Alaska.
She has done several videos on being palliative, and gets state of the art treatment in New York. Yet as a palliative patient, she is travelling, driving, and returns to Alaska in the summers to go cycling, hiking, kayaking, and believe it or not – axe throwing.
I have never heard of axe throwing, but that is exactly what it means. You throw an axe at a target, getting it to stick into the wood. I don’t think I could have done that when I was in my twenties, let alone as an end of life cancer patient.
After watching one of her videos about her end of life, palliative cancer situation, I thought she looked very healthy in spite of it all. She talked about doing a lot of strenuous outdoor activities, which is difficult to do if you are sick.
So I skipped ahead eight months to a more recent video, and she looked much the same. She was still doing all the activities she loved to do. Most of her end of life scenarios were based on what could happen, or what might happen. She became very emotional when she talked about the possibility of a painful death. She described all these potential scenarios in graphic detail. But they were not happening “yet”.
Fortunately for her, none of those horrific death stories were on her doorstep. She continues to do well. She also continues to go for multiple diagnostics, and selective treatments. In Canada, this would not be an option.
In the US though, they are likely to keep a person on the hook until their insurance, their money, or their life runs out. I know it sounds cynical, but cancer treatment is big business. It is also filled with uncertainty. Listening to this woman, every nuance is a potential spread of the cancer. In many cases, she goes through several scans that really don’t give any definitive results.
The tumour markers are up one day, and down two weeks later. Every change is monitored and discussed at length. She spends a few months in New York getting the best care, and then goes back to Alaska to enjoy the summer. I really do hope she continues to lead an active life, and maybe even is cured. But I would not describe any of what she is experiencing as being palliative, or end of life care. It is more like ongoing monitoring.
In Canada though, our systems are failing us. Not entirely. Hopefully we will see some improvements, but overall there are some valid concerns. If there is a continuing deterioration of the health care system, we will have to accept that it cannot be relied upon at all. We will have to go back to the days of the wagon train. Pioneers, and pilgrims looking for cures in old fashioned remedies.
Was all the land in Canada really stolen from the Indigenous people? Then why did they sell farms, and properties to people, leading them to believe they were actually purchasing a house or land? Why did they develop land title registries, and mortgages for houses and land, if it was stolen land? How many countries in the world do not have legitimate land, and property ownership? The answer is very few.
How many countries have extremely lax euthanasia laws? Again, the answer is – very few.
All of these negative trajectories are beyond our control. We can lean on certain elements of self care, and home remedies. But we have no control over the systems we once relied upon.
Perhaps the increase in AI is one of the biggest threats. On one hand it is a useful tool. If you want to look up certain stats, or gardening information, or how to clean a certain textile, it is useful. If you need quick information, it beats the old fashioned library research.
If you prefer self check-outs instead of real cashiers, the automation is easily accepted. But when it comes to doctors appointments, how can AI replace human interaction, or in-person examinations?
We need to sharpen our discernment. This applies to everything from phishing emails, to scam phone calls, to what we are seeing in the media, and on YouTube. A high percentage of it is deception, often geared toward creating a subtle change in our perception. It is almost like a test run to ascertain levels of gullibility.
On YouTube there has been a marked rise in AI generated videos. The common ones are of children and babies talking like miniature adults. A one year old might tell an airline stewardess that his dad is single. There are many AI generated videos of small children scolding dogs for eating their snack.
They crop up in batches. Suddenly there is an influx of twins. Twins going to meet newborn siblings who are also twins. Toddlers crying about the arrival of twins. We see toddlers talking about sex education. We also see a disproportionate number of triplets, as if they are commonly seen.
In reality, the chance of having one set of twins is around 3%. Two sets of fraternal twins is less than 1% chance. Two sets of identical twins is very rare. Triplet births are also very rare at around 0.1% So it does not ring true to suddenly see non-stop videos showing twin births, triplets, and double sets of identical twins. Children under the age of two, do not speak like adults. In fact, children do not start using full sentences until they are two or older.
Why are they doing this? Children are cuter without the contrived fictional images of them. Before all of this, there were real kids who gained 80-100 million views over something a parent filmed.
One was a situation where a little girl about three years old, was trying to explain to her dad why she was not a princess. She told him she did not look like a princess, and did not have shoes, bangles or a crown like a princess did. Nor did she have a chariot, or live in a castle.
Basically, she was telling her dad to stop calling her a princess, which was priceless in how she went about it. She was patiently explaining the contradiction as she saw it, with the insight, and candid expressions of an innocent child.
Other common recent AI themes, are of wild animals attacking people. You know these are AI generated because they will show a woman loading groceries into a hatchback car. A lion, pack of wolves, tiger, or a bear shows up out of nowhere, and the woman, at the last second jumps into the open hatchback, and closes the door in the nick of time.
We know these are memes because they show the same hatchback idea, with attacks by various different animals. In one of them it is a tiger. The next one is an elephant, then a pack of wolves. It is like the hatchback urban jungle horror series of AI clickbait.
If something like that actually happened, it would be a one time event, not the same event depicting attacks by a variety of animals.
These videos themes also centre around the elderly, and infants encountering wild animals. Why so much focus on animal encounters? I think most of it could be viewed as innocuous entertainment. Or it could be fear mongering, because people who are fearful, are easier to control.
But overall, it could mean we are being prepared to accept false imagery, and memes as reality. Even more disturbing, is the blurring of lines between what is real, and what is fiction. Did that really happen? Who knows?
Will they start showing miraculous wonders from the sky? Or massive AI generated sink holes? Or riots, fires, and war images that are totally fake? It is certainly possible.
If you transfer these same concepts to what we are being told about many other topics, the need for discernment is even more obvious. It is almost at the point where we have to filter everything we see, or read. Deception is rising faster than inflation.
Do we really believe the ultra rich became rich because they never went to Starbucks for a coffee? Or that Warren Buffet bought a forty acre farm at the age of fourteen by selling chewing gum during the Great Depression?
I just don’t buy it. After listening to many of his videos, I do agree that he has a vast amount of knowledge about investing in the stock market. In some of those videos, he spoke of his father losing his job as a stockbroker during the depression. However, his father was a US Congressman until 1952, and started his own brokerage firm. So it does not make sense to me that Warren Buffet went through hard times as a child.
Not all people have a mind, or the motivation to seek riches. Some try for years, and lose it all. Others make great gains. The stock market is volatile. Timing is everything. Those who built large portfolios in the eighties, compared to those who are starting to invest now, face very different circumstances.
In fact, some of the large portfolios so carefully constructed in previous decades, may not be safe in today’s markets. I listened to a famous Canadian investment adviser, and wondered. He starts his videos with scathing comments toward the poor. He goes on to make grandiose claims about his prowess, brilliance, wisdom, and all knowing scope of financial planning. The arrogance is so beyond the pale, it is impossible to listen to.
We have to be discerning, skeptical and downright cynical of some of this hubris. The lessons to take away may not be what people truly want to hear.
As Christians, we are told about the perils surrounding the love of money, and pride.
1 Timothy 6:10
10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Notice it says it is the love of money, not money itself, or the accumulation of wealth, that is the root of all evil. Not only do we see examples of this around us in the present day, but history is full of examples to reinforce this concept.
We are also instructed to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
Matthew 10:16
16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
We are all guilty of having pride, myself included. We can only examine ourselves honestly, repent, and ask for forgiveness. Pride comes in many forms, to include the way we treat others. It is human nature to seek superiority, often as a defensive measure, or to cover feelings of inferiority.
If we think this way, there is always someone above us, and someone else who is below us. We envy those who we perceive to be above us, and look down upon the lesser human beings.
Yet the bible warns us about pride. Pride will cause our downfall if we do not repent and change our attitudes.
Proverbs 16:18-19
18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
19 Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.
James 4:5-6
5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
Some of the most damning hierarchies are found within prisons. The drug dealer sees himself as superior to the murderer. The murderer is above the child molester. Those with more muscle and brawn, can dominate, and protect their peers. Weakness is a trait that no one wants to achieve.
The bible, in the words of Jesus, tells us the opposite of what our carnal world has conditioned us to believe.
Matthew 5:3-9
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
When we read the words “the meek shall inherit the earth” it is almost incomprehensible. Here we are with a government that is claiming the Indigenous people own most of the land.
The 1% of the corporate elite own more than 40% of the world’s wealth. Yet God is telling us the meek shall inherit the earth! He is also telling us the last shall be first.
Matthew 20:16
16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.
Matthew 19:30
30 But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.
Just as the bible warns us about pride, it also has a great deal to say about deception and lying.
Proverbs 6:16-19
16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
According to these instructions we are to forsake the love of money, pride, and deception. We are to pray for, and exercise discernment. The bible contains many warnings about being deceived.
Once we recognize all these things, and repent of our own false pride, deception and whatever else drags us down, we have hope. Not just for the upcoming year, but hope for all eternity, and a foundation of faith to take us through whatever troubled waters are ahead of us.
The just shall live by faith. Every time I feel uncertain or anxious, I remind myself of these words.
Romans 1:17
17 For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.
Hebrews 10:38
38 Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.
It seems to be increasingly obvious that we cannot place our faith, or hope in what is happening in the world. Nor do we know the full extent of God’s plan, and how the events will unfold. Faith is believing in what we cannot see, or even prove.
As a result of our faith in God’s word, and in our belief in what Jesus did when He came to save us from our sin, we have hope. We do not have hope based on tangible things or wealth. We have hope based upon our faith.
Hebrews 11:1
1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Isaiah 40:31
31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Romans 15:13
13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
Romans 5:2-6
2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
For believers, these are just some of the amazing promises of God. We are recipients of these promises based on God’s grace, not anything we can do to deserve His grace.
We do not need to strive for money, prestige, dominance, or even justice. We just need to humble ourselves, believe in Jesus, repent, and forgive others as we have been forgiven.
The harms arising from the complexities and deceptions of this world, is not our battle to fight, other than what God gives to us to do, as humble servants. His word is far more valuable than any earthly treasure.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2026). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
September 17, 2025
| Valerie Hayes
| Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, Valerie Hayes, View All Articles & Photos
The descriptions of duplicity in the bible are not conspiracy theories. They were definite conspiracies, with great historical significance. We do not call them conspiracy theories, because they were actual conspiracies. All of these examples help to reinforce that it is human nature to deceive, and to conspire.
One of the earliest conspiracies was when Rebekah, the mother of twin brothers Jacob and Esau told Jacob to go and get goat hair to put on his arms. This was so he could pretend to be his brother Esau, when visiting his blind and sick father before he died. As a result, Esau as the first born twin, ended up losing his birthright. The account of this is in Genesis 27:15-29.
15 And Rebekah took goodly raiment of her eldest son Esau, which were with her in the house, and put them upon Jacob her younger son:
16 And she put the skins of the kids of the goats upon his hands, and upon the smooth of his neck:
17 And she gave the savoury meat and the bread, which she had prepared, into the hand of her son Jacob.
18 And he came unto his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I; who art thou, my son?
19 And Jacob said unto his father, I am Esau thy firstborn; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me.
20 And Isaac said unto his son, How is it that thou hast found it so quickly, my son? And he said, Because the LORD thy God brought it to me.
21 And Isaac said unto Jacob, Come near, I pray thee, that I may feel thee, my son, whether thou be my very son Esau or not.
22 And Jacob went near unto Isaac his father; and he felt him, and said, The voice is Jacob’s voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.
23 And he discerned him not, because his hands were hairy, as his brother Esau’s hands: so he blessed him.
24 And he said, Art thou my very son Esau? And he said, I am.
25 And he said, Bring it near to me, and I will eat of my son’s venison, that my soul may bless thee. And he brought it near to him, and he did eat: and he brought him wine, and he drank.
26 And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son.
27 And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed:
28 Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine:
29 Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother’s sons bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee.
Both Isaac and Esau realized they had been duped, but it was too late. The blessing had already been assigned to Jacob. This was the beginning of a longstanding feud between the brothers.
41 And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.
42 And these words of Esau her elder son were told to Rebekah: and she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said unto him, Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth comfort himself, purposing to kill thee.
43 Now therefore, my son, obey my voice; and arise, flee thou to Laban my brother to Haran;
Another conspiracy that was a real humdinger followed soon after in Genesis 29:25. The plot was hatched between Leban and his daughter Leah. Jacob had worked for Leban for seven years in order to be able to marry his daughter Rachel, who Jacob was in love with. Rachel was a beautiful young woman, in contrast to her less attractive sister.
On the wedding night, after consuming much wine, Leah was substituted for Rachel without Jacob realizing it until the following morning. Genesis 29:20-25
20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
21 And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.
22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.
23 And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.
24 And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid.
25 And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
Jacob had to work for Leban another seven years before he could marry Rachel.
The next well-known conspiracy in the book of Genesis, is when Joseph’s siblings conspired against him, threw him in a pit, and then told their father he had been attacked and killed by a wild beast.
They shredded Joseph’s coat to show the father proof of his death. Joseph was his father’s favourite. The coat they shredded had been a gift from his father, so the plot was against both Joseph and their father. The loss of his beloved son caused their father major grief. Genesis 37: 18-34:
18 And when they saw him afar off, even before he came near unto them, they conspired against him to slay him.
19 And they said one to another, Behold, this dreamer cometh.
20 Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit, and we will say, Some evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams.
21 And Reuben heard it, and he delivered him out of their hands; and said, Let us not kill him.
22 And Reuben said unto them, Shed no blood, but cast him into this pit that is in the wilderness, and lay no hand upon him; that he might rid him out of their hands, to deliver him to his father again.
23 And it came to pass, when Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stript Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colours that was on him;
24 And they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it.
25 And they sat down to eat bread: and they lifted up their eyes and looked, and, behold, a company of Ishmeelites came from Gilead with their camels bearing spicery and balm and myrrh, going to carry it down to Egypt.
26 And Judah said unto his brethren, What profit is it if we slay our brother, and conceal his blood?
27 Come, and let us sell him to the Ishmeelites, and let not our hand be upon him; for he is our brother and our flesh. And his brethren were content.
28 Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.
29 And Reuben returned unto the pit; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he rent his clothes.
30 And he returned unto his brethren, and said, The child is not; and I, whither shall I go?
31 And they took Joseph’s coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood;
32 And they sent the coat of many colours, and they brought it to their father; and said, This have we found: know now whether it be thy son’s coat or no.
33 And he knew it, and said, It is my son’s coat; an evil beast hath devoured him; Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces.
34 And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days.
As we can see, these famous conspiracies developed between siblings where there was competition, envy, scheming, and hatred toward a sibling, often stemming from parental favouritism. In all cases, the ramifications of these deep-rooted deceptions, went on for many years.
2 Kings 15:29-31 tells a story of conspiracies among kings:
29 In the days of Pekah king of Israel came Tiglathpileser king of Assyria, and took Ijon, and Abelbethmaachah, and Janoah, and Kedesh, and Hazor, and Gilead, and Galilee, all the land of Naphtali, and carried them captive to Assyria.
30 And Hoshea the son of Elah made a conspiracy against Pekah the son of Remaliah, and smote him, and slew him, and reigned in his stead, in the twentieth year of Jotham the son of Uzziah.
31 And the rest of the acts of Pekah, and all that he did, behold, they are written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Israel.
The book of Acts describes a conspiracy to kill the apostle Paul. Acts 23:12-16
12 And when it was day, certain of the Jews banded together, and bound themselves under a curse, saying that they would neither eat nor drink till they had killed Paul.
13 And they were more than forty which had made this conspiracy.
14 And they came to the chief priests and elders, and said, We have bound ourselves under a great curse, that we will eat nothing until we have slain Paul.
15 Now therefore ye with the council signify to the chief captain that he bring him down unto you to morrow, as though ye would enquire something more perfectly concerning him: and we, or ever he come near, are ready to kill him.
16 And when Paul’s sister’s son heard of their lying in wait, he went and entered into the castle, and told Paul.
John the Baptist was subjected to one of the most gruesome conspiracies, after he was imprisoned by King Herod. He was beheaded following a dance at Herod’s birthday party. It is described in Matthew 14:6-12:
6 But when Herod’s birthday was kept, the daughter of Herodias danced before them, and pleased Herod.
7 Whereupon he promised with an oath to give her whatsoever she would ask.
8 And she, being before instructed of her mother, said, Give me here John Baptist’s head in a charger.
9 And the king was sorry: nevertheless for the oath’s sake, and them which sat with him at meat, he commanded it to be given her.
10 And he sent, and beheaded John in the prison.
11 And his head was brought in a charger, and given to the damsel: and she brought it to her mother.
12 And his disciples came, and took up the body, and buried it, and went and told Jesus.
These are just some examples of conspiracies that can be found in the bible. There are countless more.
And finally, the most incredible conspiracy of all, was carried out when Christ was crucified. Matthew 26:2-4:
2 Ye know that after two days is the feast of the passover, and the Son of man is betrayed to be crucified.
3 Then assembled together the chief priests, and the scribes, and the elders of the people, unto the palace of the high priest, who was called Caiaphas,
4 And consulted that they might take Jesus by subtilty, and kill him.
And John 11:47-53:
47 Then gathered the chief priests and the Pharisees a council, and said, What do we? for this man doeth many miracles.
48 If we let him thus alone, all men will believe on him: and the Romans shall come and take away both our place and nation.
49 And one of them, named Caiaphas, being the high priest that same year, said unto them, Ye know nothing at all,
50 Nor consider that it is expedient for us, that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation perish not.
51 And this spake he not of himself: but being high priest that year, he prophesied that Jesus should die for that nation;
52 And not for that nation only, but that also he should gather together in one the children of God that were scattered abroad.
53 Then from that day forth they took counsel together for to put him to death.
Surely we can extrapolate from these examples that conspiracies are not new. Nor should we be mocked for being aware that human beings are prone to conspiring. It simply means plotting, scheming, collusion, trickery, subterfuge, ruse, smoke-screen, and so on.
Is it any wonder, the bible repeatedly warns us not to be deceived?
The final bit of biblical wisdom for these troubled times is found in Matthew 10:16:
16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
July 17, 2025
| Valerie Hayes
| Health & Wellness, My Story, Thoughts & Ideas, Valerie Hayes, View All Articles & Photos
Deception always has been part of human nature, but it seems to be increasing exponentially with the widespread use of Internet shopping, dating, social media, and banking. The scams are becoming increasingly sophisticated and realistic.
One of the more disturbing scams is SIM card swapping, because it is something we seemingly have no control over. The scammer contacts the cell phone carrier, and manages to convince them to swap the SIM card, which enables him to take over your phone.
It is one thing to have to be vigilant when it comes to phishing emails, phone calls, and text messages, but the thought of someone taking over your phone without your knowledge, is one of the worst. It takes away the protection of two factor authentication, because the scammer would be able to intercept the two factor authentication.
For the most part, we should not have to lose sleep over it, because the cell phone carrier requires a pin number, and usually a security question. Most of them will notify you if such an attempt is being made. However, many people have been victims of this crime, and had their bank accounts drained.
An iPhone has settings that enable you to block phone calls, and text messages from unknown callers. It notifies you about the blocked call. In addition to Amazon scam calls, shipping, and CRA, there has been a more recent one from a fibre support company, which I have read online, is another scam.
In addition to blocking unknown callers in the settings, you can also set the screen time, so your phone goes blank and requires you to enter the six digit PW at whatever interval you set it at. I used to leave it open for a lengthy period of time just for convenience, but have changed the setting to every 30 seconds. It would prevent someone from taking over your phone if it is stolen, or SIM swapped. Just make sure to use a PW that is not easy to guess.
The change to 30 second intervals also prolongs the battery life significantly. Changing the settings has stopped the unwanted calls, and changing the screen time also provides peace of mind, knowing that 30 seconds would not be enough time for them to try and access any accounts.
The other day I got a phishing scam email pretending to be PayPal citing a high ticket purchase I did not make. I promptly forwarded it to phishing@paypal.com. They acknowledged receipt of the email within a few minutes.
If you examine such emails, you will notice discrepancies in the email address, fonts, and logo. They may be minor discrepancies, but they are a red flag.
Sadly, we cannot safely click on any links, or assume that any email we receive is legitimate. Be especially wary of emails or texts that requires an urgent response. They want a knee jerk reaction, before you have time to examine it, double check, or go straight to the source.
There are many shipping company spoofs now, to include Canada Post, DHL, UPS, Fed Ex, and Amazon. In all cases, it is best to login to whatever account it is, and check, without responding to the email. If the scammer has included a tracking number, you can go to Canada Post, or UPS and put the tracking number in to see if it is valid. If you are not expecting any packages, you can be pretty sure it is a scam.
The same goes for accepting FB friends. I don’t use FB anymore, but have noticed that a high percentage of romance scams are initiated on FB. There are many trolls. FB gets hacked on a regular basis.
Dating apps are a whole new ball game. There are success stories from some of the encounters, but you can be sure those are people who are keen to meet someone local, who they can meet with in person.
Once the in-person meeting takes place, both sides have so much more information to work with. They can see how the person presents him or herself, and if it is the same person they viewed online. They will soon get to meet some of their friends and family.
They have a better chance of determining if what they portrayed online was truthful or not. Most of all, they have the benefit of intuition, attraction, face to face conversation, and chemistry, as a foundation for a real relationship. Part of establishing relationships, is to see what you have in common. Interests, hobbies, sports, faith, fitness, educational background, values, work ethic, etc.
They can see what the other person orders, how they order food and wine, how they interact with waiters, if they pay the bill willingly, if they tip, and whether or not they are warm, confident and relaxed.
They can see if they are glued to their phone during a meal, which might be a sign of cell phone obsession. It is a common problem that interferes with direct communication. People who are always on their cell phones often avoid face to face interactions, and conversations without frequent interruptions.
Chemistry is not always a sign of good things to come. It can mean a lot of things, from lust, to feeding off each other’s weaknesses, to genuine attraction. There is often good chemistry, based on mutual attraction. If a person can sort out the chemistry messages, and how they jive with the rest of the information, it can be a good start.
A frequent red flag is when one side or the other, or both parties get caught up in the proverbial whirlwind relationship. It can be a heady, and exciting time, but it is likely to burn out just a quickly, or worse yet, indicate a lack of boundaries, and an unhealthy entanglement.
In my opinion, the long distance online romances are the riskiest. If the couple can actually meet in person within a reasonable time frame, it reduces the risk.
If the relationship is online only, without meeting in-person, and leads to love bombing, and rapid escalation, it is a major red flag. It is more like an addiction, because the person becomes attached to an illusion, which might quickly become destructive.
There is something to be said about the appeal of online relationships for some people, because they do not involve close interpersonal exchange. It could be that people who are seeking such relationships, are at some level, wanting to avoid in-person, touching relationships.
Sort of like the people who seek out relationships with prisoners on death row. They don’t have to worry about a real relationship. They can be in a relationship, while still being single. They can be a lifeline, and be important to someone, without having to go the distance. They can be a heroic empath, without the traditional strings attached.
A retired airline pilot fell in love with a woman on death row, and left his wife of thirty-five years to marry his lover. They could not get married in the prison, or have conjugal visits. He stayed in a hotel near the prison, and went out and bought a mannequin. He also bought a wedding dress for the mannequin, and then carried out a mock wedding, pretending the mannequin was his bride. He filmed himself dancing with the mannequin.
A woman who had given several hundred thousand to a romance scammer did something equally as outrageous. She and her online scammer got engaged. She paid $42,000 for a wedding ring he had purchased. It turned out to be a fake $10.00 ring, which made her mad. Her hands were swelling, and she believed he had put a hex or a curse on her. She started to get suspicious of her lover, and told him so, accusing him of putting a curse on the ring.
Just to show how innovative these guys are, he then got in touch with a pal of his, calling him a healer. The healer, dressed in shaman like garb contacted her, and told her he would remove the curse.
She had been to multiple doctors by this point, with no relief. The healer told her he would cure her, but she had to send him several thousand dollars. She sent the money, and he told her to urinate in a pot, and then boil it on the stove. When it was boiling, she was told to put an egg in the urine. And that was it. If that didn’t work, the next cure would cost more.
She finally got fed up and cussed him out. He probably laughed. You can see how it can affect the person’s mental health.
Rule number one – don’t be fooled by flattery. Be especially wary if someone calls you their queen. Rule number two – the person whose pictures you are looking at, may not be the person you are talking to. If it is a scammer, for sure it will not be the person you think it is. Rule number three – why would a 30-40 year old, attractive, physically fit man be interested in a 65-70 year old woman? Once again, don’t be fooled by flattery.
And finally, why can’t the person on either side of an online relationship meet someone closer to home? If they cannot attract someone at the places they hang out, like the pool, gym, church, seniors centre, pickleball court etc. etc. then chances are, they are not going to genuinely attract someone online.
People tend to be attracted to people with similar traits. Fitness, success, confidence, and movie star good looks, will seek the same in a partner. If you see a mismatch, you should question motives.
Do people really fall in love online without ever meeting the person? Or is it a pipe dream? It is pretty clear that a strong emotional attachment can develop. However love is more than emotions. There is an element of logic.
Love and marriage is a partnership involving choices, decisions, mutual trust, and finances. Who we choose as a partner is the most important decision of our lives. It is not wise to make the choice within a matter of weeks, especially if you have never met the person. It is bound to lead to broken promises, and a broken heart.
For years, older women used to warn younger women about men, telling them, “they are only after one thing” referring to sex. But now, younger people have to warn their aging parents, and grandparents, letting them know their online paramour is only after one thing – their money.
The escalation of romance scams seems to be inextricably linked to mental health, grief and loss, loneliness, addiction, and a cross contamination of sorts. The victim is crossing signals related to dopamine, and endorphins, as mood elevators, with an attempt to replace something they have lost, and really miss.
They open themselves to deception, and also have to engage in self-deception. They like the flattery, even though they know it is not genuine. It makes them feel good, therefore they want it to continue.
From that point on, they have entered into their own James Bond movie, or Harlequin romance. As soon as the victim falls for all the love bombing and flattery, pledging a lifelong commitment to a total stranger, the scammer knows they have them hooked.
The next phase is the money phase. By the time the victim starts sending money, there has been multiple red flags, they chose to ignore. The request for money is a huge red flag. How does a person who claims to have a high paying overseas job, or is in the military, all of a sudden need money from someone he has known a few weeks?
If you listen to some of their stories, it is truly off the deep end. Many of them claim to be in the military, stationed overseas, or they work on oil rigs overseas. At least, that’s their story.
The drama revolves around sudden accidents, missed flights, re-deployment, kidnapping, fending off sharks, frozen bank accounts, supply chain problems for big business deals, and getting arrested. They also typically claim to have millions of dollars, but the money is tied up for whatever reasons.
They claim to have money, to convince the victim they can, and will pay them back. They make grandiose claims, like having a suitcase or box full of cash, and gold bars. They make multiple promises to send all the imaginary loot to their victim.
Even if the scammer did have large sums of cash, wouldn’t she realize that money laundering is illegal? You cannot move huge sums of cash and gold bars from country to country, without explaining where it came from.
Then there is the fact he is requesting bitcoin deposits, or gift cards. But most of all, why would this person be so dependant on someone he just met online, if he was a legitimate and competent human being? My first question would be – but what did you do last month?
Another tactic they use during the grooming process, is mirroring. If the woman was married to a pilot in the past, they might be a pilot too, or have a small plane or helicopter.
If she was married to a farmer, or grew up on a farm, all of a sudden the person will send images of farming. If she is a devout church goer, so is he. He wants to pray with her, sing to her – and delve into every aspect of her life that has meaning. It is all to create an illusion of attachment.
They will like the same music, same books, same movies, and have a desire to do the same things she likes. Travel the world? Tick. Go cycling, camping and hiking? Tick. Love cooking gourmet food? Absolutely. Fine wines? Oh yes, he will have his own vault of million dollar wines. Love family, and family gatherings. Definitely.
The scammer will claim to be of Scottish, German or American descent, yet when you listen to their voice, it is a Nigerian or West African accent. The victim will admit their lover has an accent, but will adamantly claim it is not African.
They will say it is a mysterious accent. Most of the scammers operate out of Lagos, Nigeria. But they can be from anywhere, and also may have a network of contacts in multiple countries, along with multiple other people they are fleecing at the same time.
Why send money to someone you do not know? Such a request should lead to an immediate block, and termination of all further contact. A request for $100 will lead to another request for $1000. If you bought the first excuse, you are likely to buy into the next lie too. In fact, it seems to become an addiction, not only to the love bombing, but also to the drama.
One guy sent a woman a fake cheque (she was a former nurse). She had sent him over $150,000 over the course of a few months. He sent her the fake cheque with a TD bank logo that was made out for 9.7 million dollars. It was not made out to her, so she put it in a safety deposit box, waiting for him to come visit her, so he could cash it, and repay her.
She was urged by a family member to take the cheque to a bank, and see if it was fake, but she was reluctant to do so. She probably knew it was fake, and sure enough it was.
They manage to steal pics from people who have an online presence, and they too, become victims, because often they are married professionals with no intent to be involved in convoluted scams.
They will photoshop passports, drivers licenses, shipping invoices, bank accounts, cheques, airline tickets, and anything else you can think of, all to keep the money coming.
Some people will advise, go ahead and have the online relationship, just don’t send money. But not only is it time consuming, betrayal carries an emotional, and psychological cost that may even be greater than the lost money.
The person ends up feeling deeply ashamed, stupid, and like they have failed their family. It affects their self esteem, and makes them feel broken. If they were recently widowed, it could lead to a complex grief reaction.
Long term betrayal can lead to multiple re-victimizations, and victim blaming. It is very difficult to undo a con that has gone on for a long time, especially one designed to attack, and take over your identity. It seeps into every facet of your life, and can be soul destroying.
Con artists do not care how you feel. They do not care if you are angry. You mean nothing to them, other than how they can exploit you for their own gain. You are an object, like chattel, or for profit merchandise. If you cease to go along with it, they drop you, and move on to the next victim. It is a churn and burn scenario. If they have hooks into your family, they will use them to hold onto you, and put your feet to the fire.
Just because they have manipulated, and toyed with your emotions, does not mean they have any emotional investment in the relationship. They can be callous, and calculating because they have no feelings for you.
Online long distance relationships are like vapour without substance. They can disappear in a keystroke. They go from a mountain of meaning, to the pit of despair, and then poof, they are gone.
The victim has embarked on a hooligan’s journey over the world’s most dangerous love bridge, dangling on the edge of a cliff, until she is forced to cut the rope. The ties that bind, are an emotional and psychological bondage, all crafted in hoopla and fantasy. She is springing for the grand prize, only to discover it is an illusion. A bottomless pit.
Then there is the knowledge that these scams are often tied to large, global organized crime networks. They may have helped move money around, much like a drug mule moves drugs. The outcome for some of the victims is suicide.
We are living in a somewhat altered universe, where things are not always what they appear to be. This is not only the case with brazen scammers, but also with the media, with certain advertising, financial planners, investment advisors, medical advice, and with certain organizations.
Betrayal is painful, and is to be avoided as much as possible. Some people lie without flinching, and make it a lifelong pattern. Guard your heart, as well as your bank account.
A high percentage of chronic liars never get caught, at least not in this lifetime.
Of all things God hates, lying is at the top of the list, so eventually all lies will be exposed.
Proverbs 6:16-19
16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Recently I listened to part of an online sermon, where the preacher adamantly insisted the biblical call to repentance was heresy, and false teaching. He was making the argument that anyone who says the bible advises us to repent of sin, lies, etc. is teaching a false doctrine, and is making the claim that salvation is based on works.
Repentance and forgiveness are closely aligned. According to that preacher, reading the bible would be considered to be works. If people do not hear the gospel message – how can they accept it and believe?
The preacher was not able to differentiate between works, and belief. Nor could he assimilate what the bible teaches, and how he has erred in his own teaching. If he thinks the call to repentance is heresy, what does he think of the instructions in the entire bible?
When we hear God’s word, based on what it says in the bible, it is not works. Listening to, or reading the bible is not works. Faith is not works. Prayer is not works. Thought is not works. Belief is not works. Truth is not works. The fruits of the spirit are not based on works. Avoiding being deceived, is not based on works. It is based on discernment, which is another gift from God.
There are certain denominations, like Calvinism that teaches salvation is based on works, and is never secure. But like many off-base denominations, there is always an element of fear, and often confusion, which do not come from God.
Repentance is not works. It is part of our belief in Jesus, and what He did for us by grace, and as a gift. It is not heresy to teach the importance of repentance. It was the central message that John the Baptist preached. There are hundreds of places in the bible, telling us about the importance of repentance. The preacher who was calling it heresy is the heretic. Once again, it is deception. The following are just a handful of verses that speak to the importance of repentance, and its centrality to the gospel message.
In the book of Revelation, when John gave the message to the seven churches, one after another, he told them to repent.
Many of the following verses are the words of Jesus.
Acts 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;
Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.
Matthew 4:17 From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
Matthew 3:8 Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:
2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Luke 13:3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
Luke 5:32 I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Luke 15:7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
Romans 2:4 Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?
Revelation 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
Luke 15:10 Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.
Luke 17:3-4 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
Mark 6:12 And they went out, and preached that men should repent.
2 Timothy 2: 25-26 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
June 28, 2025
| Valerie Hayes
| Health & Wellness, Thoughts & Ideas, Valerie Hayes, View All Articles & Photos
Recently I wrote a post describing card skimmers, as one of the many technological scams. But everyday we read about another poor person who was scammed in some other way. Everything from corporate fraud, to bitcoin scams, to websites that look legitimate but are designed to defraud unsuspecting customers, to romance scams, and everything in between.
We can learn from the mistakes other people make. Every year hundreds of millions of dollars are lost to romance scams. Many people scoff at how naive some people can be. But we have to keep in mind the victims are first targeted, and then carefully groomed by a network of organized criminals.
Most victims have gone through recent divorce, or the death of a spouse. They are susceptible to flattery, wishful thinking, escapism, and hope for some relief of loneliness, tedium, and loss.
Once a person takes the bait, they are literally on the hook. They become so emotionally invested, they cannot untangle themselves. In addition, once they become involved, somewhat like a drug mule, they are committed. Often the victims are blind participants in money laundering, and bank fraud. On an intuitive level, they may know this to be the case, but their denial will not allow them to process it.
Romance scams cost hundreds of millions of dollars nationwide every year, and are on the rise. Like many other scams, they tend to be under reported because the victims feel so ashamed. In some cases, even when faced with irrefutable evidence, the victim still wants to be in love with the illusion, and cannot let it go.
It struck me as odd to see an 84 year old woman madly in love with a 62 year old fake profile. The man they were representing had no idea his image had been stolen to be used in such a manner. He was a fit, blond haired, blue-eyed person of European or American descent. Yet the man who was on the phone with this woman had a thick Nigerian accent. Even so, she continued to associate her online lover with the fake photograph.
The scammers love bomb their victim. Anyone who tells an 84 year old woman she is drop dead gorgeous has to be a scammer. Only a husband of sixty years would think so. But regardless, this woman was smitten. She believed what she wanted to believe.
Romance scams have many common denominators. They target their victims carefully, they get them on the hook, love bomb, can never meet in person due to various circumstances, and then they start hitting them up for money. They do this once they believe the person actually thinks they have a future together, so they are willing to invest more and more into the fake relationship.
In reality, it is not much different than believing in Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. Rule number one for all online dating, is never send the person money. If you have not met them, you do not know who they are.
Investment scams are another huge loss for many people. One woman who thought she was transferring funds buying government bonds, was tricked into depositing $750,000 online. She mistakenly believed she was making the transfer through a legitimate online investment company. But as it turned out, the company was fake, and within a matter of days after she made the deposit, the website, and the slick fraudster disappeared entirely.
In another recent situation, a man in his late seventies sold his house for $800,000, thinking he would downsize, and have enough money for his golden years. Shortly after he sold his house, he got a text message telling him he had won $17 million in a lottery. But there was a catch. He had to pay the taxes on the money before they would release the funds. I guess he must have been a person who bought lottery tickets.
He immediately began transferring all the money from the sale of his house to the fraudulent account, until it was gone. Understandably, he is now broke, ashamed, and devastated. His daughter had no clue this was happening, until it was too late.
Scams can affect us in many different ways. Once we become over emotional, or compelled to react, we are not thinking clearly, and might take foolish, and impulsive risks.
Scammers are looking first for a connection with you, and then a response. You can eliminate many of the phone scammers by going into the Settings on your phone, and silencing all unknown callers.
Another younger woman was scammed out of more than $50,000 based on a spoof call from her bank. She ended up divulging personal information, and the scammer was able to drain her account. Within a matter of minutes, she realized it was a scam, and contacted her bank asking them to freeze her account immediately, but it was too late. The reason she recognized it was a scam was because after getting her account information, which was with a major bank, they then said her bitcoin account was also compromised. She thought, wait a minute – what does this bank have to do with a totally separate bitcoin account?
The saddest thing about most of the scams, is that the money is not retrievable. In some cases, the victim actually gave their money away. But in other cases, they are duped in a very devious manner. How many people are adept at discerning fake logos?
Those fake logos are now coming from every mainstream organization – from PayPal, to Amazon, UPS, Canada Post, email addresses, major banks, CRA, and so on.
Like most other scams, the scammer pushes for an immediate response or a reaction. They want you to click on a link, follow certain login information, call a phone number, or respond to an email. They create a sense of urgency.
Keep in mind, if they contacted you, they are the ones who want something, not you. You can always delete their message, and login to your bank account, PayPal, CRA or Amazon account etc. to check on the recent activity. Chances are, you will immediately see that the claims sent by the scammer are bogus. Your account is in good standing with no unusual activity.
Some of the scammers will threaten you. I had one very stern voice mail caller claiming to be from immigration. They were threatening to deport me if I did not respond to them immediately. I was born in Canada, and have never had anything to do with immigration, so I knew it was a scam. But I can see that it might have been unsettling if I was an immigrant.
It seems like there is an exponential growth in scams. Just when you think you have seen it all, new ones pop up. No one is immune. People across the entire spectrum of wealth and intelligence have been scammed, from the low end to the high end.
To help protect ourselves, it is a good rule of thumb to avoid responding to any, and all unsolicited emails, text messages and phone calls. This includes surveys over recent purchases or deliveries. Many of those contacts are innocuous parts of a company marketing campaign. But we are under no obligation to respond. If you make a purchase and like it, you will keep it. If not, you will return it. You don’t need to answer surveys on whether or not you liked your shopping experience.
Some of those surveys are ridiculously long. Like who wants to answer a ten page survey over a popcorn maker?
Go ahead, be cynical, skeptical, and a conspiracy theorist. Because when it comes to scams – it is a conspiracy. The fake romancer is often part of a criminal network. Same with the fake investment website, or bitcoin bait.
They know it is human nature to be fooled by flattery. They also know people are lured by the promise of quick gain. So if a bond usually pays 1% interest, they can lure naive individuals by saying they will pay 5% interest.
One of the worst cases of fraud I have ever read about involved a couple who were selling a boat. They were fit, world travellers, in their fifties, and the husband had been with law enforcement. So they did not appear to be easy targets.
But they were taken in by a young couple with a baby who said they wanted to buy the boat. The victims had recently had a grandchild, and were selling their boat to move back to land to be close to their grandchild. In addition, they were taken in by a fraudulent lure to make the sale tax exempt. The perps brought along their own notary, who was also in on the scam.
The unsuspecting couple took these people on a cruise to show them the boat. At the last minute, the perps brought along another thug, who they claimed was their accountant.
Once they were out on the water, they soon realized they were in deep trouble. They were overpowered, and then chained to the anchor, and thrown overboard. The reenactment of their final couple of hours is so harrowing, I don’t know how their families could cope.
We all would like to be able to give people the benefit of the doubt. So often people see many red flags, but ignore them or rationalize them away. The couple with the boat did see several red flags. They did have a “bad feeling” because they voiced it before the tragedy. But for whatever reasons, they went ahead with it, just wanting to get the boat sold, so they could move on with their new plans.
Our intuition, or gut feelings are actually our second brain. They are sending us signals that often cannot be put into words. Our gut feeling is our warning light, or danger signal telling us to stop the transaction, or meeting, or whatever.
Probably the best advice, is to always pay attention to what our gut is telling us. It can save us not only from scams targeting our bank accounts, but more importantly, it can save our life if we fall into a dangerous snare.
If you get trapped into a longterm scam relationship, getting out is a matter of survival. Remember, if you are in a situation you cannot leave – it means you are far worse off if you stay. In some cases, you have to give up everything, just to get out from under it.
One of the biggest mistakes people make, is to think the perp will not harm them. The perpetrator does not care about the victim in the least. The victim means nothing to them, other than what the victim can do for them, or how they can exploit the victim for personal gain.
First and foremost, you cannot trust a liar. If someone is constantly lying to you – they will take, and keep on taking, until you firmly put a stop to it. They will scheme behind your back. They will manipulate, coerce, bully, brainwash, gaslight, and use every trick in the book to bilk you, or turn you into their personal slave.
If they are pretending to be someone they are not – they see you as an easy mark. If they can craft a pseudo relationship to ensnare you, that means they are dominating, and in control. It is a form of bondage. The predator does not have the same mindset, or values as the average person.
Don’t make the mistake of believing they are decent human beings, when everything they represent is based on a lie. There is a reason they are called leeches. They will suck the lifeblood right out of you.
You can turn the other cheek, give them your cloak, and they will take over your house. Whatever you give them, they want more. They have no boundaries.
We can forgive them, but first we have to get free of them, and only then, do we get clarity on what exactly happened. It can take a long time to heal and overcome the trauma inflicted on us by an invasive scammer. They will target your mind, your emotions, and your spirit, in a soul destroying game of cat and mouse.
We do not have to allow others to dominate and victimize us. We are actually supposed to be discerning. We should not allow anyone to bully us out of our better judgment, when it comes to our own life and security.
Setting boundaries is an important aspect of protecting ourselves against scammers, and manipulative con artists. Lock them out of your life.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
March 20, 2025
| Valerie Hayes
| Health & Wellness, My Story, Thoughts & Ideas, View All Articles & Photos
Deception is the number one tool of the adversary – to include lies, manipulations, cons, exploitation, insincere flattery, trickery, gaslighting, and obvious contradictions.
Domination is about power. They want to gain power over you, especially your mind. These tactics include thought reform, intimidation, shaming, ganging up on you by manipulating others, and by making multiple accusations. They want you to believe you are bad, and only they know what is best for you. Truthfully, they are doing what they think is best for themselves.
Control is their objective. Not only do they want to control your activities. They want to control your thoughts, your mind, and take away your God-given free will.
Cognitive dissonance is another tactic similar to gaslighting. The objective is to confuse you, and cause you to doubt your own perceptions, faith, thoughts, sanity, and discernment.
Emotional abuse is often used as an alternative to physically attacking you, because there are no laws against it, and it leaves no outward injuries. But emotional abuse takes a toll, and leaves long lasting scars. The intentional infliction of emotional abuse, regardless of where it comes from – is something we need to avoid in order to protect ourselves, just as we take measures to protect ourselves from physical assault.
They want to keep you busy and distracted, to the extent you will not even have time to take care of yourself, or your own life. They know that as Christians we are inclined to serve others. But there is a difference between serving, and being a malleable people pleaser, at the whim of highly manipulative people.
Staring is another form of intimidation, and is often used to make you feel uncomfortable, or put you under a microscope. It is an intense and unwavering scrutiny, drilling down to the core of your soul, because you are so bad.
There are many variations of being under the evil eye. It is mentioned in Proverbs 23:6, and refers to those who are greedy, or miserly, because they will not tell you the truth. Staring is another example of being under the evil eye. When someone stares at us without blinking, we instinctively shrink away for very good reasons.
Singling you out, and targeting you, especially if there is increased vulnerability due to family circumstances, a death in the family, illness, or some other crisis.
Telling you how special you are. This includes claims you are chosen by God to carry out what they want, or that God has told them something about you. This is also deception. Christ is our intercessor, not some cult teacher.
They are superior, and never mention the fact that they too, need to repent. They are above the law, above the ten commandments, are judgemental, and do not have a shred of humility. They will never admit wrongdoing, no matter what they do.
If someone is violating what it says in the bible, and exalting themselves to be some kind of deity or supreme authority, you know it is a con. If they claim they are a Christian, but are lying, or contradicting what it says in the bible, how can you believe them?
Financial gain is a strong motive for people who pretend to be Christians. They are looking for gullible people to send or give them money. Con artists have no guilt because they convince themselves the victim made the choice. They might want your house, your labour, your assets, your abilities, or even the food in your freezer. They are always looking for a mark to exploit.
Anytime someone says “God told me this or that”, like they are some kind of divine recipient of messages directly from God – don’t believe it.
They want to make you believe you owe them something. You have a debt of gratitude, even though you never asked them for anything. First they create a pretence, a con, or give the impression they did some remarkable thing for you. This is a ploy to create bondage.
They want to crush your spirit. To do this, they will attack your mind, emotions, and all relationships, especially your relationship with God.
They want to change your identity, and craft it into their web of lies. They will pretend you are not who you are, were not raised by the family you were raised by etc. They will tell you your mother is wicked, evil and non-redeemable. This is another way of causing shame, with the objective to yank you out of your own identity by the roots.
After all, the the fifth commandment tells us to honour our father and mother. Anyone who defies this commandment, by condemning their own father or mother, or by insisting that your parent is evil – is very unbiblical.
Spiritual abuse, and the bondage that goes with it – is one of the cruelest, and most sadistic things that can be done to a person. Once you escape the trap, never go back to it. If you open the door a crack, they will push their way in. Let them shun and punish you, because it is nowhere near as damaging, and soul-destroying as it is if you allow the entrapment to continue.
One of the most sobering realizations about cultish people, is that they know full well what they are doing. Atheists and non-believers may act a certain way, or take advantage of people, but it is strictly based on carnal, worldly desires. They may be ruthless, but they are not trying to destroy your life here on earth, in addition to sending you to hell.
But the cultist knows there is a spiritual world, and is well aware that God does exist. But for some reason, they choose to use what they know to cause harm, to deceive, and to inflict spiritual abuse.
You only gain a full realization of the scope of their destruction after you get free them, and have the opportunity to reflect, without all the gaslighting, shaming, and lies. Why they would set out to destroy another person’s life both now, and for all eternity is mind boggling. They have a closer connection with the dark side than most of us could ever understand or grasp. They will mock your gullibility.
God’s word is the bible, and it is there for all of us to read and learn from. Those who make claims to get messages from God about the lives of other people, or world events, are deceiving themselves, and those around them. They have a perfect fallback, because who can deny their secret messages, or dreams, or whatever. They can make up anything they want to make up. Either that, or they could be delusional or psychotic, if they truly believe they are getting commands from God.
The prophecies are in the bible. If someone tells you a prophecy, it should be backed up with sound doctrine. During biblical times, a prophecy was proven or disproven based on whether or not it came true. Consider how many various cults have set dates for the return of Christ, or other great events. Those dates came and went, which was proof they were false. Yet people will still follow those religions with the same fervour. Ellen White from the SDA church made many such false claims, but regardless, they still have a following.
There is no doubt – God answers prayers, and gives us internal guidance, because for the believers, he is with us all the time. But there is a difference between being quietly obedient in our own lives, and knowing God, versus proclamations that God is telling us to direct someone else’s life. We all have God-given free will. Ultimately, cults are out to control us, and take away our free will.
If anyone preaches a different gospel, adds to, or takes away from what is in the bible – they are treading upon cult territory. There are bibles in circulation that have been significantly altered, enough to know they are teaching and preaching a different gospel. This is nothing new. There are many warnings about it throughout the bible.
Leaders of cults tend to exalt themselves, and are treated with reverence by the followers. Some classic examples are JW, Mormon, Seventh Day Adventist, The Catholic church, and many others. Dispensationalism is also a different doctrine.
It is not for me, or anyone else to say whether or not people who follow a false doctrine will be saved. Countless people have been steeped in religious deception, and eventually saw the light. Only Jesus knows our hearts and our motives. We can’t fool God. People can be deceived, and then learn the truth. It is of utmost importance to genuinely seek and love the truth.
Christians are not all wonderful. We are all sinners, called to repent and believe in the gospel, and we are saved by the blood of Christ. It is a gift, and is something we did not earn.
Shunning is another telltale sign of a cult. If they cannot control you, they punish you. They know that relationships, especially family relationships are very important to us. They want to break our hearts, and break our spirit. They are out to steal, and destroy – just as the bible describes.
This is an important time in history to be wary of cults, and to avoid being deceived. Jesus warned us not to be deceived, and described the end-times deception as being so sophisticated, even the elect can be deceived.
The best thing we can do for ourselves is to read, or listen to the bible. If we learn what it truly says, we are less likely to be led astray by false teachers.
There is a spiritual realm, and a great battle going on around us, of which we are all a part of. We need to protect our mind, heart, emotions, and spirit from deception, temptation, vanity, anger, etc.
Recognizing the gravity of our own sin is quite devastating. It can be overwhelming, and very difficult to forgive ourselves. It humbles us, which is a good thing, because through the process of sanctification, we are given hope, which takes away our shame (Romans 5:5). But even so, we should remain humble.
The central gospel promise is to believe in, and accept Christ, and our sins will be forgiven. The hope within the gospel message overshadows our own sin, only because of the gift of grace and salvation. Even though we do not deserve it, we are forgiven, if we sincerely repent.
The bible, especially the New Testament is full of love, guidance, good advice, comfort, assurance, and good will. For those who embrace it early in life, they will be spared a lot of grief.
Regardless of when we accept Christ, repent, and turn away from our sin, it is the greatest blessing ever bestowed upon us. We may suffer, and be downtrodden, or realize the bondage we were ensnared in for so long – but true freedom comes from Christ. It is liberating.
We know Christ is the way, the truth and the life. God dwells in the light, not in darkness.
Anything that is dark, oppressive, coercive, shaming, blaming, accusing, or deceiving – is not of God.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
October 9, 2024
| Valerie Hayes
| Feature Articles, Health & Wellness, My Story, Thoughts & Ideas, Valerie Hayes, View All Articles & Photos
“Psalm 12:8 The wicked walk on every side, when the vilest men are exalted.”
Perhaps one of the most disturbing things about cults, is the way they attack and destroy families. In fact, a very common deceptive cult practice is to target a fractured family, and try to become a part of that family. Or they will target the most vulnerable or youngest member of the family, and claim to have a special familial relationship with their victim.
In my case, I am talking about a cult steeped in the false doctrine of hyper dispensationalism. To a young or new Christian, the false doctrine embodied in this cult, is not clear at the onset. It took some time to sort it out, even though I knew from the beginning, there was something seriously wrong with this teacher’s attitude and conduct.
Since I have first hand experience with a high school teacher claiming to be my father, I can tell you how profoundly disturbing it is to have someone make such a claim, and then gaslight you to no end. He acted like I was brain dead. He carried out a galling pretence, as though I did not know who I was, or where I came from. I thought it was absurd.
Of course I knew who my parents were, and where I grew up. I remember it all very clearly to this day. I also knew I did not join a cult. In fact I was wary of cults. I saw Moonies and Hare Krishna cults trying to recruit people, and took a wide berth around them. But they were easier to spot than the wolf in the classroom, pretending to be a pious Christian, while simultaneously staring a hole through me.
He stared at other kids too, but he stared at me the most. I was his special target from the time I was about fourteen. Things heated up, before I graduated though, because he was bound and determined he was not going to let me go. He even told me so..”Oh no, you will not get away, I am not going to let you go.” He meant it too.
Normally cults will try to recruit followers. But in my case, I was chased down, forced into a car, taken home with the teacher night after night, and brainwashed until my eyes glazed over. There was no recruitment, and there was no consent.
He abused power to the extent, I was threatened with violence, and complete expulsion from my own family. He also claimed that not only would my family not support me defying him, but God would cast me into outer darkness. I would be separated from both family and God. He told me he was using force with me because “intervention was required”.
If I got really sassy, and defied him, he would claim I was mentally ill, or emotionally disturbed, and in defiance of authority. If I went along with being his daughter, he was proud, and I was very special, and should be eternally grateful. He told me his love was unconditional. That too, sickened me to the core. It was a molestation of the mind, emotions and spirit.
How is ANY kid supposed to process such lunacy? He was the lunatic, not me. He was the one who needed intervention. I knew it, yet there was not a thing I could do about it. Part of it was that I felt like I was bad. If I had a better sense of boundaries, and less guilt, I might have been better equipped to fight this guy off.
It all began just two or three weeks after my younger brother was killed in a car accident. I was devastated. We were just a year apart, and he had been my best buddy since he was born. As soon as he could crawl, we were playing together, and going places.
Within a couple of years we were outside running down the cow trails, and trying to catch rabbits and gophers. We wanted to make them into pets if we could only catch one.
One day, we were out rolling barrels down an incline. We would each get on a barrel and see who could stay on it as it rolled down the hill. Low and behold, a rabbit jumped in front of me, and I rolled over it without being able to stop the barrel.
Although it was unplanned, we finally caught a rabbit. It was stunned, but still alive. So I carefully picked it up and carried it home. We found a box to put it in by the wood stove, and then went out to get it some food from the garden.
I also gave it warm milk. It was kind of lethargic for awhile. But sometime throughout the night, it livened up, and jumped out of its box. It was jumping all over the place, and leaving rabbit turds wherever it went. We could not even catch it.
Finally we brought the dog in, and he chased it outside. I did not want to scare it into having a heart attack or something, but it was uncontrollable.
After that we did not try as hard to catch wild animals. But we did put a bat in a jar, to see if it would eat flies. Eventually we let it go, because it was ugly, and never even moved. We could hardly tell if it was dead or alive.
My brother and I played together outside all the time, and when we got older, we were each other confidants. His death broke me. He died in November, and his funeral was on a bitter cold day. I felt frozen inside and out, like a walking human iceberg. Everything was bleak. I felt so guilty. The last time I saw him was at a basketball game. I told him to tuck in his shirt.
And then, he was gone. Just like that. Two or three weeks prior to the accident, he was in a fender bender while out with friends. I told him I had a dream he had been killed in a car accident. He said, “thanks a lot”.
I felt guilty, and lost. I went from being sort of zombie like, to hyperactive. I was involved in everything, cheerleading, basketball, student’s union, school yearbook, you name it. Anything to find or create a distraction. Of course I was emotionally disturbed. Who wouldn’t be?
I still went to school. In fact I still passed with honours, and graduated when I was sixteen. So it was not like I was smoking crack. But I was drinking, and out partying by the end of the school year. I was no angel.
Even so, the teacher had no right to do what he did. Because I felt guilty, I was much more vulnerable. It took many years for me to realize it did not matter what I was doing, even if I was smoking crack. It would still not justify what this man did, and how much damage he caused to me, and my family.
It compounded the grief and family trauma a thousandfold. It created a lifelong complex trauma and PTSD. Nowadays people will claim to have PTSD if they fail a grade, or if they don’t make the team. I would never admit to having PTSD, as I was so afraid of being labelled as mentally ill, which would give them more ammunition to control my life.
I just tried to cope. Finally I was forced to take stock, and realize it all had a profound effect, and I was fearful, getting flashbacks, drinking, and drowning in sorrow. They had me right where they wanted me to be. When I was at my worst – they were beaming with pride.
I no longer have PTSD. I have overcome it. But there is no way I would have ever overcome it if I had not freed myself of the teacher con. Part of the destructiveness enmeshed in that plot, was to keep me locked into the past. How can you deal with the past if you have someone lurking, and dominating you with a complete denial of who you are, and what your past involved?
The teacher was denying me the fundamental right, not only to be who I am, but also to come to terms with the grief and trauma of the past. He interfered with, and prevented healing on all levels.
When I was thirty-five, my husband was killed in an accident. The teacher was on my doorstep all over again. It was a nightmare. The emotional impact once again, not only of the sudden death and loss, but worse yet, having this looming goon, lying and conning, and taking great pleasure in my pain, was more than I could bear. He was saying the same things as he said after my little brother died. It was like I was looking at a demonic influence, and archetype that I could not shake for the life of me.
The hallmarks of all cults are religiosity, deception, identity assault, mind control, coercion, and an arrogance that takes the place of God. They are the ultimate authority. You have no choice but to obey. They have the power to punish. They infiltrate a family, in order to rip the family apart, because that is how they gain access, and control over a victim. It is also a tactic used to weaken, and dominate. It is kind of like a wolf, or apex predator that separates the calf from it’s mother.
Our sense of self and identity is closely tied to our mother, and our immediate family. The cultist is driven to rob you of your identity. They will insist you are not who you think you are, and claim you are someone else.
Even though I was a teenager, with a very good memory, this guy would repeat colossal lies over and over, literally hundreds of times. When you are kept awake all night, with repetitious shaming, and strangeness, it is beyond what the mind can comprehend.
At the time, I did not realize his religion was a cult. I knew something was seriously wrong with the whole experience, but I had no power of veto. I was the proverbial bad girl, and he would not take no for an answer.
He even went as far as telling me what he “liked to believe”. He liked to believe he had me since I was a very young child. He liked to believe my mother was not really my mother. She was wicked and non-redeemable, and therefore she did not deserve to be my mother. He liked to believe I was special, but not gifted (as in being a gifted student). That too, was shameful.
He would repeatedly tell me I was his daughter, God told him to adopt me, and I was his precious gift from God. He said I was very lucky, very special, and he was so proud of me. For crying out loud – he was a teacher. As it turned out, he was an authentic nutcase. I mean, who concocts such nonsense, other than a nutcase?
Every time he told me he was proud of me, I almost puked. I found it to be so repulsive, I had a visceral reaction. He would tell me I had the “exact same IQ” as his wife. He repeated that lie hundreds of times.
He would say raising me gave him premature grey hairs. He would talk about how I could be a difficult child, and had kept him awake many nights. Really? He was the one who was keeping me awake. What a twisted jerk.
He never raised me at all, in any way, shape or form. He was just over a decade older than I was. How could he have possibly raised me since I was a young child? He really should have been arrested, and lost his teaching license.
His behaviour was brazenly exploitive, criminal, and outlandish. He had no right to force me into a vehicle, and then forcibly confine me for hours on end. This is not a he said, she said case. At least half the grade twelve class witnessed him chasing me through the bush, and putting the grab on me. They saw him order me to “Get in that car or I will STUFF you in that car”. Anyone from the era, who is from my home town, knows this teacher did what he did.
He was a complete and total stranger to me. I was never once under his jurisdiction. I found him to be an atypical oddball, and very scary. I was afraid of him. To this day, I would put nothing past him. He was capable of anything. He had no morals, no empathy, and no respect for the laws, boundaries, truth, or professional guidelines. He was above the law.
As a teacher, he was very solemn, and was often yelling at students with a booming voice. He liked to strap kids, or grab them, and muscle them out of the classroom. He was more prone to physical violence by far, than any other teacher in the school.
What is even more icky is that he would tell other people, including members of my own family, the same warped things. He acted as though his choice to be a religious zealot made him untouchable, pious above all reproach, and arrogant beyond belief. He was a twenty eight year old teacher with a massive ego, and God complex.
Cultists target vulnerable people and families, because they do not have a good sense of boundaries. The ultimate goal is mind control. Psychology Today calls it soul murder, which is actually true, because they target the mind, spirit, will and emotions, which is our soul.
He stared without blinking. It was one of his most chilling traits. When he forcibly confined me all night long in his house, it was especially hair-raising and spooky, because he had large horn rim glasses, and all I could see was the reflection of his glasses, without seeing his eyes.
There were times I wondered if he was going to kill me. It took almost a lifetime to realize the extent of damage he did to me and my family. It took a very long time to finally go to the police, and it took even longer to deal with the PTSD from those nights of torture.
I could not extricate myself, because he was invited to every family function, and was treated with reverence. He was far more important than I was.
There were times I resisted. Many times. I also begged, cried and pleaded with him, and every member of my family. I tried reasoning with them, knowing full well they knew I was not adopted by the teacher, and had never been up for adoption anymore than they had been up for adoption.
This was an extension of family violence. It was a way of continuing the abuse into adulthood. When I pleaded to get out of the trap, a few times the teacher would finally say, “Okay then, you can be our special friend”.
I would gag. I did not want to be their special friend either. They were the last people I would ever be friends with by choice. They had no sense of humour. They were dreary, tiresome, flat, bland, insipid, arrogant, controlling, quiet, stodgy, and mind-numbing. All conversation was superficial and boring. I hated being around them. Every minute was like an hour.
It was like watching paint peel. I would find every excuse to go for a walk, take the garbage out, run an errand. Anything to break away for a few minutes. When I did, I never wanted to go back. I wanted to run for the hills, and disappear.
The only reason he gave permission to be special friends, was because it meant he was still the one who was defining the relationship. He was still in control. It meant he would still have access to me. It meant he could continue lying to everyone, pretending to be my “daddy”. It also meant that within a short time, the special friend would turn into the daughter, all over again. No boundaries means, you just keep on pushing.
Over the years, he probably gave me at least fifty or maybe even a hundred syrupy, sparkly cards. They were DAUGHTER cards, plastered with out of context Bible verses. Many of the cards were cards you would give to a six year old child. He had me locked into childhood trauma, and he was quite determined to keep me there.
Every chance he got, he would repeat the mantra “you are our daughter”. This lie was repeated thousands of times. He was literally drilling it into me. When his kids got older, he told them to tell me I was their sister. As if the statement itself was going to make something so blatantly false, into truth.
All of it made me cringe. I would recoil, turn away, shrug it off, and try to ignore those creepy claims. Normally, I would have promptly told a person like that to get lost, pound sand. In fact, in those days, I would not have minced words, and would have told him exactly where to go.
But you have to keep in mind, he was in collusion with a very powerful member of my own family. If not for that, I would not have put up with those ridiculous lies for a country second. If I made the slightest negative comment about this guy, I faced swift, and aggressive retaliation.
How many people sit there and repeat over and over to their real son or daughter – “you are my son, you are my daughter”. The answer is no one. People do not have to keep restating obvious facts.
He stared, and repeated flagrant lies. Did he sit there and say that to his own daughter on a daily basis? No of course not. A person only repeats a falsehood, because they are trying to indoctrinate, and use repetition, to get that falsehood instilled into your psyche.
After awhile, I realized the reason he stared so much, is because he was always trying to evaluate the impact of his constant lying. A brainwashing cultist tries to put your mind under a microscope, while simultaneously, and paradoxically ignoring every bit of body language, and every single thing you say.
He alternated between shaming me, and telling me how special I was. When he came to our family functions, he was always given a place of honour, and would be the one to say grace, or a prayer. He had the respect of a godfather, or some kind of deity. To me, he was nothing but a disgustingly corrupt teacher. Yet I dared not say so.
To those who support this con, and reject the truth of what actually happened, based on my own testimony, since I was the victim of this plot, I want to ask them a couple of questions.
How do they think this whole saga came about? Since when do teachers adopt students? Since when do teachers make false claims to adopt a student, so they can justify repeatedly forcing the student into a car, and then forcibly confining them all night long?
Clearly those who know about this false adoption claim, know by now, there was no adoption. So how does a teacher take on such a role in a family? How did the false adoption claim come about? And why are they all so afraid to challenge the big lie?
Is the teacher still going to every family function, pretending to be a pious do-gooder? I got kicked out of my own family, and he remained. People need to ask themselves what is the under belly of this dark con, and why is it so important to them?
He vehemently hated our mother. He did not know her. The men in the family were far worse, from a judgemental perspective, yet he never once said a word about them.
Initially it was very confusing and traumatizing. I had accelerated through school, and planned to get a post secondary education. I knew my education was paid for until I was eighteen, and also knew I could get a scholarship.
He was determined to prevent me from taking an academic route, as I had planned. He forced me into a nursing program, and then took credit for the fact I became a nurse. He did use me as a fund raising mascot for his cult religion. But then his wife immediately went back to University. In fact she graduated the same year I did.
During that time frame, they tried to force me to sign adoption papers, and change my name. I flatly refused. They were livid. At the time I was living in Calgary, and luckily my roommate came home, when they had me backed into a corner. She looked at me like, “What the heck is going on?”
Otherwise, I would not rule out they would have used force, like physically grabbed me. I knew I did not sign those papers, but I thought they might have forged my signature, and filed the papers anyway, because they did not accept, or acknowledge my refusal. They went and told everyone there had been a legal adoption.
Many years later, I contacted the Ministry, and Department of Vital Statistics, and asked if they had filed forged documents. They said no, which I already knew I guess, because by then I had been married, and had a passport, so I knew there had not been a name change.
They lied so convincingly, everyone believed them. Even though I said no, and told people I said no, I was not believed, and they were.
He did not use the money he raised through his church to put me through nursing. He used the money to put his wife through a nursing degree program. The plan was that she would be my mentor, and mother superior. I was an investment of sorts. Up until she went for her degree, she was very miserable with the fact her husband was obsessing over a young teenage girl.
Part of my attempts to argue and reason with him, was to tell him that following, and chasing me around all the time, was not good for his marriage. I told him his wife was not happy about it. But after she realized there was financial gains to be made, she changed her tune.
The lie about putting me through nursing was just another lie in the coffin. He had infiltrated the family and made himself into a godfather of sorts. Then he took credit for what I was, and what I did for a living. I owed him my life, my accomplishments, my existence, my identity, and must grovel with involuntary gratitude forever. I was not going to get away. Ever.
My education was paid for until I was eighteen, and then I took out a student loan. Later on when the family farm was sold, the debt was paid off. I knew the teacher did not put me through nursing, and I never asked him to. He was an absolute lying cheapskate. He would be the last person to buy you a coffee. He was cheap to the core, and so was his wife.
They kept track of every penny, and were not the least bit generous. A few times, they were generous superficially, and then went for the pound of flesh. They always extracted way more than they gave. It was like they were some kind of royalty, and were owed everything I ever had, or earned, or did.
When I graduated from high school, I went to school in Calgary, which is more than 300 km. from my home town, or around 200 miles away. The teacher most certainly did not babysit me, and nor could he follow me around outside of school.
It was the one major, albeit a temporary relief, putting some physical distance between me, and the cult couple. They had jobs and young children, so he could not follow me around. Even so, I was far from being rid of them as I had hoped.
In spite of all his lies about how much I needed intervention in high school, I still managed to go to classes, and wrote the RN exams when I was nineteen years old. I also managed to be on the President’s Honour Roll, and scored in the top percentile on the RN exams. He had nothing to do with it.
The teacher took all the credit for what I did. In hindsight, this was all designed to prevent me from accepting a scholarship into an academic English literature program. If I had been able to accept the scholarship, I would have been able to establish my own career path in a field of my own choice. Not only did he devise a way to infiltrate my family, and make ludicrous claims to be my father, he also tied himself to my career. He had all the bases covered, for a lifetime of entrapment.
The reason I stuck with nursing, is because getting a post secondary education was very important to me from the time I was in grade school. Even though I tried to break free when I graduated, I was still very much under the thumb of the teacher, and felt guilty whenever I thought of breaking free.
I did not want to be a nurse at all. It was a huge burden, and there was no credit given to me for going through it. All credit went to the teacher. At the time, I thought I would be able to get out of it, and do something else.
They acted like they owned my home, my labour, my mind, and dictated what my IQ was. They monitored my every move, what I wrote, and if they disapproved – if I was not the nice obedient nurse, and pseudo daughter, they had the means to punish me. I was easily ganged up on.
They set a trap, and they closed off all escape routes. Over a period of many years, he never stopped lying, never took no for an answer, and never stopped staring.
Even as a teacher, I could not stand the guy. His all encompassing authority, and macho man, tough guy swagger was immature and sickening. He had no personality to speak of, and neither did his wife. They were as boring as hell. I had to be nice, and pretend all was well. Just plaster a smile on my face, nod my head in agreement with every banal thing they said, and assume the position.
For years, I would put on a polite pretence, and go along with the facade, so I would not get brutalized and kicked out of my own family. I was biding my time. What a waste of a life.
I prayed, and I hoped they would change, and mellow over the years, and eventually just drop it. But they never did. They would not consider it for a moment. They were openly and brazenly exploiting me. Their demands were increasing, and they were getting bolder by the year.
There were times I was so depressed, I could hardly function. I was a mess. A basket case. Eventually I knew I had to get free of them, or I was as good as dead.
It got to the point where I could not even look at him. He was still getting everyone and their dog to manipulate, and pat me on the head, telling me how fortunate I was to have these wonderful Christians in my life.
I despised him. The reason I could not look at him, was because I nearly vomited when I did. I shrank away from both of them, and all their lies. When I let them know it was destroying me – they could care less. All that mattered was the lies, and keeping me in the trap. My misery was their goal. So what good was it going to do to tell them how destructive it was?
They believed I would never get out of it. They were smug, and self-righteous. How dare I hurt their feelings. They would repeatedly tell me that if I thought of “that wicked woman as my mother” they found it very hurtful. They would pout like spoiled children, and make a face, sort of like a mask of pity. It was so fake, and so appalling.
Over a period of many years, it was psychological warfare, with them putting on a pious look of normalcy, and vast superiority. Yet I could never, and would never forget those tortuous nights of being forced to sit and listen to his brainwashing, thought reform, and mind control when I was a kid in school. It was so creepy, it could be in a sci-fi horror movie.
At the time, I thought I was putting up a barrier. I thought I was able to fend off the twilight zone, of his authoritarian power, cognitive dissonance, lies, and sadistic spiritual, psychological and emotional abuse. It took many years before I realized how much damage he had done.
Getting free of the teacher is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and in all honesty I cannot take a shred of credit for it, because it was only by the grace of God that I got out of that snare. Otherwise I would have been dead long ago. I had to get out of nursing, and had to be prepared to give up my house, and every single relationship in my life.
It was the most abusive relationship of my entire lifetime, and by far the most tenacious. To this day I do not understand why they would be so determined to destroy my life. It is evil beyond comprehension. They had their own families, lives, and careers. They corrupted their own natural children, who they doted on like most narcissists do, because those darlings are the true extension of themselves.
I was a throwaway, like something they found at a garage sale, and could get some use out of. And yet I was expected to believe I was their child? Why would I believe such a ridiculous lie? Growing up – I was not doted on, by any stretch of the imagination.
Their children were not my siblings. I barely knew them, yet they too bought into the lies. Sort of, but not really. It was like they were mocking me for being so gullible. I was not gullible. I was in a trap that was sprung on me when I was a kid in school. The thing about psychopaths, is they actually believe the victim deserves what they do to them.
The biggest regret I have is not screaming blue murder, and getting the police involved immediately. But I was very afraid to do so. This man was a teacher, and he had aligned himself with some of my own family. I knew there would be an immediate retaliation if I went to the police. I also feared I would be kicked out of school, or persecuted so much in school that I would not be able to graduate.
At the time, I was just months away from graduating, and moving away from the small town and school, so I thought I would get free of him then. I got married, and thought I would be rid of the teacher. And yet, those events did not get rid of him.
It took until I was fifty years old to finally say, I will not spend one more minute with those horrible people. The last time they were at my house, I sat and watched the second hand on a big clock on the wall go round, and round. Every minute that went by, I told myself, I will not spend one more minute with them. Ever.
Fortunately, I made a choice many years ago to stop drinking alcohol. I did not have to go to rehab, and have never been treated for a mental health disorder. I do not have any judgment toward those who do need help, or cannot quit on their own. The reason I am glad, is because if I did need help, they would have used it against me. The stronger you get, the more they double down. If you are weak and floundering, they are happy as clams.
When they attempted to make claims I was mentally ill as a student in school, it was just another lie. There was no referral, no diagnosis, and no basis, other than to intrude into my mind, and shame me for doing well in school. He was determined to take over my mind, discredit what he wanted to eradicate, and take credit for what I did accomplish.
It is incredible to me, how powerful men can simply make the claim someone is mentally ill, without any basis for making the claim. Gaslighting is illegal. But of course they do not care about what is legal. They use the mentally ill claim to control and stifle dissent. They use it to prevent disclosure about their own conduct, and history.
When I terminated the relationships, I never told them outright, while they were in my home, because deep down, I was afraid of both of them. They killed numerous family pets. They were sadistic toward my feelings, and they were also cold and determined to keep exploiting me, and keep up the facade of being family, when they were not family. After they were gone, I sent them a letter terminating the relationship, and told them I wanted no contact with them.
What did they do? They turned around and came right back to Haida Gwaii to seek me out, and challenge me. They reverted back to the stalking behaviours. Fortunately in a small town, news travels fast, and I heard they were back.
Haida Gwaii is a long way from Alberta. But they clearly were not prepared to take no for an answer. I put the chains on the doors, checked all the windows, dead bolted the doors, turned out all of the lights, and was prepared to call the police if they tried to get in.
I was doing diabetic teaching at the time, and they managed to find where the office was located. They left a note on my office door. That is as close as they got. Fortunately, I was out seeing a patient when they showed up there. I am not sure if both the teacher and his wife were there, or just one of them.
After that, the roller coaster ride of fury, and grim orders, veiled threats, followed by absolute contempt and rejection, has been part of the punishment for getting free of that cult teacher.
Few things could be more dangerous than having someone stay in your home who you do not trust, and do not feel safe with. In Australia, the Exclusive Brethren cult are called the Brethren bullies. They are full of cloak and dagger tactics, to include death threats, and staging suicides. In 2007 the Australian PM declared they were a destructive cult that rips families apart. In my opinion, they are part of a network of organized crime.
Once I made the decision, it has been a major and ongoing battle. I was given a timeline to get back into it. I said NO. I was coerced, bullied, threatened, and then rejected by my own family. I have stood firm. Is it any wonder I had no power over this kind of dominance, when I was a teenage kid in school, without parental protection? I did not stand a chance.
I guess a word of caution, is to be careful, especially when it comes to religious authority. Don’t assume they are real Christians. Be wary of push in predators. And above all, never let someone lie so much they are claiming to be family.
That is the single, and biggest red flag of all. They are using a false front to push themselves into a place of intimacy, knowledge, control, manipulation, and involvement where they do not belong – well past all natural boundaries.
The hallmark of a cult, is to claim you are not who you think you are, and they are your family. No they are NOT. Many books of the Bible, go to great lengths to describe who begat who. These lying cults will circumvent every natural law, and natural relationship God created. They also take away our God given free will. They are evil masquerading as good.
All relationships need healthy boundaries. The cultist pushes past those boundaries, which is why he seeks to infiltrate a fractured family. When those boundaries are crossed, and those bonds are broken, he has robbed natural affection, and destroyed natural loyalties.
Through his lies, and lawlessness, he has taken the seat of the father, as well as God the father. He has pushed himself into a place of ultimate importance, centrality, control, power and authority. He is full of lying wonders.
If anything a cult can teach is, is to know the depths of Satan. To get free of it is by the grace of God, we are plucked out of the fowler’s snare.
As I look back, there were so many signs. So many brazen lies. So many contradictions, and things that do not align with God’s word, or character. I do remember telling him “God does not force us into a relationship with Him – so who are you to do so?”
When he told me God told him to adopt me, I said to him, “Does God talk to you out of the sky, or the walls or what?” Then I asked him, “Since it is my life, why wouldn’t God tell me too?”
It fell on deaf ears. In my experience with cultists, they will not listen, they cannot be reasoned with, they will not admit wrongdoing, or repent.
I know we are supposed to forgive one another. This is the one aspect of my own life’s experiences I find most difficult to forgive. I can forgive my family, because I love them, and know they too have faced hardship.
But to forgive the false teacher, is a tough one. He brought greater harm to an already fractured family. He has his own family. He has children and grandchildren. He used me, and he used our family, for personal and financial gain.
One of the saddest things, is in knowing how many people have been lied to, and corrupted over the years. Entire systems have been corrupted over this nefarious teacher plot.
One of the reasons I am writing, to share my testimony, and also writing some political commentary on a couple of social media sites, is to prove I am not mentally ill. Otherwise, if you have no visibility, they will lie, fabricate, and scheme up more false claims. People tend to believe it, especially if you have no visibility or voice. Just to be clear, the only time in my life I have been accused of being mentally ill, is when I refuted the teacher’s adoption lies. Cultists are liars.
Just to present some alternate and hypothetical scenarios, to help highlight how preposterous this plot has been. Imagine if the situation was reversed, and a student adamantly, and falsely claimed to have been adopted by a teacher.
In order to create a parallel type situation, imagine if that student repeatedly claimed they were the son or daughter of the teacher. What if they insistently made false claims that there had been a legal adoption, and also showed up at every one of the teacher’s family functions, as well as repeatedly showed up on the doorstep of the teacher.
What do you suppose would happen to the student? They would be called crazy for sure. They would be forced into treatment, evaluated, and diagnosed as delusional and psychotic. The police would be contacted, and there would be a restraining order put in place, to protect the teacher and his family. If it went on for years, the student would probably have spent time in jail, or a psych unit.
This is an example of the audacity involved when someone in authority decides to abuse power over someone who is considered to be powerless. If it was done in reverse, it would never be allowed to continue. How did he get away with it? There are hundreds of people who know about this teacher adoption claim. At the time, many people raised eyebrows, and questioned how it came about. Yet no one protected me.
The second scenario, is to imagine an adult man, who has the hots for young girls. He has carefully set himself up to have access to young girls. He pretends to be a do-gooder, a Mr. Hot Shot, and thinks he has a good cover. He has targeted a specific girl, and is obsessing over her day and night.
So he concocts a plan to tell people he is going to adopt her. He does this so he can justify stalking her, and putting the grab on her. After all, in his mind – she needs some discipline, intervention, authority, and control over her life. It gives him an excuse, under this psychotic daddy delusion to carry out his fantasy of overpowering his victim, and being alone with her for hours on end.
It could be a delusional and psychotic mindset, where he actually starts to believe God told him to be her daddy. Or it could be an intentional criminal scheme, to abduct and forcibly confine his dream girl, without facing consequences. Either way, should he actually be able get away with such a devious scheme?
What do you think would happen to this guy, when it was realized he was lying through his teeth, was forcing a teenage girl into his car, and taking her home with him? Even though he had crafted a ruse to try and get away with his crimes, should he be able to lie his way out of it? It would not be the first time a criminal abducted a child, and made false claims to be their parent.
But in such a case, when caught, the person would have been sent for a psych evaluation, or charged with kidnapping, and forcible confinement. It would have been all over the news, and he would have faced a long jail sentence. Abduction is a serious crime.
Back to the teacher in my life. Personally, I don’t care if this guy was religious or not. He did what he did, and there is no excuse for it. His religious stance, and teacher authority do not condone what he did. The familial collusion is a whole other Pandora’s box, yet to be addressed.
Now, even though this is still very much part of my life, and I do want to get it resolved – I lead a quiet life with purpose, and am not the least bit miserable. There are many things to enjoy, and be thankful for. Peace of mind, a sound mind, and the simple things in life, are the most rewarding. I keep reminding myself “the just shall live by faith”. It brings great comfort.
I know eventually the truth, and the motives behind all of this, will come to light. I just have to be patient.
I cannot help but believe he used the opportunity to score one for the devil. He did not succeed, thank God. When his day of reckoning comes, I hope he realizes the enormity of harm he has done, and repents.
One of the positives in this story, is that our mother accepted Christ years before she died. I was fortunate enough to visit her on her deathbed, while she was still lucid. She was radiant, and had no fear of death. She knew she was dying.
She told me she had already walked on the road with Jesus. She had so many near death experiences, I knew she was being candid. It was such a blessing to see her before she died. It was very important to both of us. I thank God to have seen her.
If not for the teacher, our dysfunctional family background would not have been disclosed. In order to get free of him, after trying for years to speak directly to them, as well as members of my own family, I had no other choice. When people do not respect boundaries, it means you have to go to the authorities.
In addition to contacting the police, I contacted the Alberta Teacher’s Association, The Canadian Teachers Federation, the school board, and the school I attended. I contacted the Ministry of Children and Families, and Alberta Victim’s of Crime.
It took all of that and more, to get this bullying teacher off my back. The RCMP acknowledged the wrongdoing, and the potential for charges. They also talked about the fact it might be difficult to get witnesses to agree to making statements, especially after a number of years had gone by.
But I know what he did, and I also know many others were witness to it. Most of us know it is a crime to force anyone, let alone an underage kid into a car, and then forcibly confine them all night long. He did this many times, from late November, until I graduated in early June.
The discussion I had with the RCMP, was enough to convince me that if this case had been brought to them at the time, he would have been arrested for abduction, forcible confinement, and making repeated fraudulent claims. I am not prepared to be punished, or scapegoated any longer for the crimes he committed.
One of the primary reasons cults do not want you to get away, is because it takes until you do get away, to piece together all the brainwashing tactics, coercion, theurgy, and bewitching mind control.
They were always so concerned with what I am thinking. They can read my blog, because finally, I am freely sharing what I am thinking. I hope he reads this, and realizes he did a crappy job of thought reforming me.
I would like him to know he has no power over me. Yes I do think about what he did, because it went on for so long, and involved so many people. But I take it as an experience that drew me closer to God, and the truth in the Bible. So in an indirect way, the hoodoo sortilege, helped me to sort things out.
After our mother died, it confirmed in my mind in the weeks, and months to follow – just how barbaric the teacher was. What kind of person forcibly confines a person, to repeat a litany of lies, identity assault, and tells a kid their mother is wicked and non-redeemable? It just goes to show the magnitude of his arrogance, deception, and cruelty. I do not care who judges me for the fact I reported him to everyone I could think of. They pushed me to the limits of human endurance.
In my opinion, this is an example of a long and drawn out crime, because those who set it up, were not held accountable at the onset of this depraved plot.
I am glad I am not in a position to judge him, because I am not quite sure how I would handle it. God can deal with him. I never could. The contradictions of biblical truth compared to what this teacher did, are glaringly obvious.
The reason I find it so difficult to forgive the teacher, is because it is next to impossible to separate the broken record of lies surrounding my own identity, from his disordered character and persona. I reject all of the lies, and therefore I reject him as the gross entity, or assemblage of those lies.
It is kind of like looking at the reflective glare of his glasses during those all night brainwashing sessions, without being able to see the soulless character behind the glare. It is like trying to forgive a blinding mass of lies that came out of a cavern somewhere.
When someone lies like that, and you barely knew him to begin with, you do not know who, or what, you are trying to forgive. I reject all the lies, as a matter of preserving my own soul and identity. If I try to separate him as a person, from all his lies, what is left? Not much.
I guess to try and figure out this Christian conundrum, enigma, or quandary surrounding forgiveness, it requires an ability to see the heart and humanity of the person somehow. It means we should separate the sin from the sinner. When I try to do so, all I see is an empty shell. I pray to be able to find a way to forgive this person, without accepting any of the lies.
It is also difficult to let go of something so hideous, when the punishment for setting a boundary, and commitment to truth – continues to flog me. When family is so deeply involved in such a scheme, it is next to impossible to stop the punishment, if they will not agree to stop it.
God tells us to honour our mother and father. It is mentioned throughout the Bible, and is the fifth commandment.
God hates a liar, and a lying tongue. It is at the top of the list of things condemned by God. Proverbs 6: 16-19, Proverbs 18: 21, Revelation 21:8 says ALL liars will go into the lake of fire.
The book of James talks about the poison of the untamed tongue: James 3:8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
The Bible also tells us the fate of someone who claims ownership, or to be a parent of a child that is not their own: Jeremiah 17 10-11:
10 I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
11 As the partridge sitteth on eggs, and hatcheth them not; so he that getteth riches, and not by right, shall leave them in the midst of his days, and at his end shall be a fool.
As far as family betrayal, the Bible tells us it is part of the end times scenario. Mathew, Mark and Luke all contain verses about family betrayal.
The verses from 2 Timothy speak volumes when it comes to what I have experienced:
1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
I was a silly woman, and certainly did have sin in my life. The teacher did try to creep in and take over my house. They seemed to think my home was going to be their retirement home, complete with maid service.
As I become more familiar with the Bible, there are hundreds of verses to contradict the indoctrination and lies drummed into me by this pseudo Christian teacher. I wish I had been strong enough, and well versed enough to refute those lies. By their fruits we shall know them – Mathew 7:15-20:
15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
One of my all time favourite verses is Galatians 5:22-23:
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
There is still rage and punishment toward me for rejecting the teacher and all his lies. But now I understand it better:
Psalm 12:8
8 The wicked walk on every side, when the vilest men are exalted.
Jude 1: 12-19
12 These are spots in your feasts of charity, when they feast with you, feeding themselves without fear: clouds they are without water, carried about of winds; trees whose fruit withereth, without fruit, twice dead, plucked up by the roots;
13 Raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for ever.
At the end of the day, and the end of the age, can we finally see, understand, and hear why God tells us to repent? If so, we have much to be thankful for.
Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. May God bless this thanksgiving, with peace, truth, and love.
June 7, 2024
| Valerie Hayes
| Health & Wellness, My Story, Thoughts & Ideas, Valerie Hayes, View All Articles & Photos, Vintage Accessories
Of all things God hates the most, as listed in Proverbs 6: 17, the first two on the list are “a proud look, and a lying tongue”. Yet how many sermons do we hear about the topics of arrogance and lying?
It is not only Christians who become arrogant. It is human nature to have a cognitive bias in relation to how we view ourselves. In some cases, it is part of being successful, or having a purpose, or achievements – whatever they might be.
Life as we come to know it, is based on a variety of hierarchal structures. It begins in families, schools, churches, businesses, perceptions of beauty, levels of intelligence, political prowess, leadership, achievements in sports, and most of all – money. The image of wealth is the be all, and end all for many people.
We need to have a certain amount of hierarchy, to help maintain order. Unfortunately along with hierarchy, there can be arrogance, dominance, and abuse of power, which can be very toxic.
Outward appearances of success, is the reason why it is important for some rich men to have a trophy wife, often one who is thirty years younger than he is. It completes the image of success, as society might define it.
So we are accustomed to judging people, not only for moral reasons, but primarily for whatever image they are able to present.
Usually we do not know the full truth underlying another person’s outward image. We often don’t know their business practices, or how they treat others, or how they got their wealth. We don’t know about the underlying addictions, the extent of their greed, or how many affairs a person has had, how much they manipulate outcomes, or what their true motives are.
That is probably why the Bible tells us not to judge others. It tells us Christ will judge because only He knows the hearts and minds of people. We don’t. It is also why we are told to forgive, because most of us don’t even have a true concept of our own fallibilities.
We have an error-prone tendency to see the faults of others through a microscope, but we see our own faults through a telescope with a dirty scratched up lens.
Before you can achieve anything, you first have to believe you can do it. But there is a difference between a quiet confidence, and arrogance. Arrogance is rooted not only in self deception, but also in insecurity. It is a brittle way of putting on an exterior of superiority or invincibility, in order to protect the more fragile inner self.
I will readily admit being guilty of self-deception, stupidity, and at times empty-headed arrogance, throughout my life.
Part of it stemmed from religious indoctrination by a high school teacher, who held me captive for hours upon hours telling me I was special. Even more bizarre, he repeatedly claimed I was – “his special gift from God”.
This was a man, who claimed to be a Christian, yet he was arrogant, and deceptive to the core. It took me years to admit to myself that he was a pathological liar. I actually thought for many years, if I did not see him as wonderful, there must be something seriously wrong with me. I was indoctrinated with extremism and religious falsehoods, without fully realizing it.
Even though I irrationally believed I had put up a barrier to all the brainwashing and lies, I still absorbed more of it than I cared to admit. It is the reason our hearts, minds and spirits should never be subjected to master manipulators, and sophisticated brainwashing techniques. It is like getting grabbed by a crocodile, and every time you get a breath, it drags you under again.
Brainwashing or thought reform is extremely abusive, and at the time, I had no idea it is a systemic breaking down of all boundaries, barriers, and self preservation. The abuse targets your mind, emotions and spirit.
When a wolf in sheep’s clothing fixates on his prey, it becomes a soul-destroying endeavour. You are up against an apex predator, and like a weak young animal separated from the flock, you do not stand much of a chance.
The same lies are drilled into your psyche – repeated over and over, when you are exhausted and traumatized. It leads to a lifetime of destructive escapism, in an attempt to break free of the snare.
Few people realize that forcible religious indoctrination with deception, and false claims – is profoundly abusive. It swings erratically from shaming, to being made special. Of course the shaming is tied to any defiance, or refusal to accept the lies, and being special is tied to accepting those lies.
Telling a child they are special, is not doing anything for their self-esteem. It robs them of a healthy, balanced, and realistic outlook. It makes them feel they must conform to some kind of ideal image, in order to be acceptable. Being special is nothing but a deceptive burden. It is also an angle that is commonly used by those who exploit children.
Young people are especially vulnerable to identity assault, and mind control by those who abuse power, when they are teenagers. The teen years are a very important, and challenging developmental time frame.
It is a crucial period of time, as we establish our identity, come to terms with family of origin, develop independence, and make important, and directional life choices, like choosing a career. He robbed me of all those things.
Adult men in positions of power, who exploit children and teenagers, will not escape God’s wrath. It is probably the only consolation in the whole ordeal.
On one side of the psychological and spiritual abuse coin is shame, degradation and insults. Yet the other side of the coin is even worse, as it contains a fake image of being the “special” possession, or a shiny object, sought out or pursued by another person, for their own gain, not ours.
It is not that I don’t take responsibility for my own development, and outlook. But in hindsight, I can see some of the main contributors to my own self-deception.
I can also see how the emotional, spiritual, and psychological attacks led to defensiveness. I used accomplishments to try and defend myself. It is a feeble attempt to use achievements, as a means of defending our basic rights.
Eventually I realized I should not have to defend myself by drawing attention to achievements, because our basic and inalienable human rights are not tied to achievements. Neither is our God given free will, or the right to be a member of our own family. Just like we do not earn salvation, we cannot earn basic human rights either.
Underneath it all, I did not lose sight of being the lowest in the pecking order, so the arrogance was not deep rooted or intrinsic to my personality. But nevertheless, I can think of many episodes of being a smart-ass, as well as becoming defensive when under attack.
Repentance and remorse humbles us, which is a blessing, because otherwise our foolish hearts become delusional, darkened, and hardened. We really do not have much self awareness or insight, until we do repent. Then it is most difficult to forgive ourselves, because there is nothing short of what Christ did on the cross, that can forgive the things we cannot change.
The entire process of repentance is not only about all the awful things we have done, but it is also about harbouring anger, and fear. Both of these mindsets make it more difficult to forgive.
If there is a background of trauma or abuse, letting go of anger, and overcoming fear is something we have to deal with, or else we become perpetually anxious, or hardened and bitter. We are not supposed to have a spirit of fear, as it represents a lack of faith, and a basic cowardice. Fear can crowd out everything else, if we do not find a way to overcome it.
One of the reasons it is so common for Christians to become self-righteous, arrogant, and judgemental, is because we are often indoctrinated with falsehoods. Part of the indoctrination includes being special, maintaining outward appearances, being chosen by God, righteous, etc.
Another part of it stems from morality, and the need to discern right from wrong. We tend to think if we can recognize what is right or wrong, then it makes us morally superior. We don’t have to compare ourselves to anyone else. Discernment is for our own guidance and edification.
It goes right back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When they chose to eat the forbidden fruit, the fruit they ate was from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Once humankind made the decision, we are left with a knowledge of good and evil – yet we really do not have the full capacity to separate the two. That is probably why God told them not to eat of that particular fruit.
Even in prisons, there is a pecking order and dominance based on the self-righteous judgment of the lesser human beings. A gang murderer is not as bad as a child killer. A drug dealer is not as bad as wife beater. And probably the lowest of the low – is the snitch.
Other than to turn away from evil, surely we can see that our judgement is quite futile.
Pride is part of deception. We are deceived by outward appearances. We cannot take the blinders off, until we repent. The most basic messages in the Bible, tell us over and over – to repent. We all fall short of the glory of God.
When we repent, we receive God’s forgiveness and mercy. We are brought to repentance through His grace. To be humble is a sign of His wisdom, not ours. Even the verses we read telling us Christians are chosen, or called according to God’s purpose – is not based on our own merit.
There are so many things beyond our earthly comprehension. We are given certain gifts, and many blessings. Every sunrise, every flower, every good thing, and every breath we take – is part of God’s blessing.
We really have nothing to be proud of. But we do have the full expanse of God’s kingdom, and plans – to be grateful for. Without God, we most definitely would not even be here. Without Jesus, we would not have salvation, or forgiveness. We would all be doomed.
Pride is not sustainable. The Bible tells us in many places, and in no uncertain terms – the proud will be brought down. There is no Biblical justification for pride.
There is no superiority in being a Christian. It is based on servitude, which is the opposite of superiority.
Salvation is a gift, and we are to accept the gift with gratitude, faith and worship. We did not earn our salvation. We cannot save ourselves.
For Christians who think they do not have to repent, or who see themselves as vastly superior – it is only based on self-deception, indoctrination, and insecurity. Arrogance presents a false self.
Many modern day preachers are quite arrogant. A significant amount of false teaching, gives the impression of deserving prosperity, material blessings, and being the chosen ones.
Truthfully, in addition to repenting, we are instructed to persevere through all things that come our way. We are told to expect tribulation, and rejection, and to overcome adversity.
We are told to turn away from all the things God tells us to turn away from. Doing so, is not arrogance. It is the avoidance of evil influences and temptations, including our own inclination toward evil.
We are to be thankful, because we can trust God. We are to be patient, because we know His word, and promises will be fulfilled.
We are to seek love, and truth. God is love. And ultimately love prevails, and will overcome all things.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
January 14, 2024
| Valerie Hayes
| Health & Wellness, My Story, Thoughts & Ideas, Valerie Hayes, View All Articles & Photos
Even though we might be told to view someone as a “wonderful Christian” – the Bible makes it very clear, there is no such person, with the exception of Christ.
There is not a single human being who has ever fit such a category, not even the Apostles. All of God’s servants are sanctified by grace, and even so, remain vulnerable to the temptations of sin.
None of the Apostles referred to each other or themselves, as being wonderful Christians. They remained humble, as they understood it was very important to avoid being arrogant. Pious religious superiority was a distinctive trait of the Pharisees, not the servants of Christ.
Romans 3:23 KJV states ” For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
This truth is stated in multiple locations throughout the Bible. In fact, in the Book of Revelation, the seven churches addressed at the beginning of the book, are repeatedly told to repent.
This means all Christians are called upon to examine themselves, and repent. Repentance is not just for the unbelievers, but also for the believers. It is not only for those who do obviously sinful acts, but also for those who manipulate, deceive, exploit others, or have excessive pride.
When John the Baptist arrived on the scene, to preach the coming of Christ, his primary message to all people, was to repent. He suffered persecution and a horrific death, yet he was unwavering in his message. Prior to his death, he did not walk around claiming to be a wonderful Christian.
Therefore anyone who thinks they are a wonderful Christian, is filled with false pride, and the truth in not in them.
1 John 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
Anyone who promotes someone else as being some kind of deity, or wonderful exalted Christian, is establishing a cult worship and following, not a Christian one.
How often do we hear pious Christians claim other people need to repent, yet they do not seem to think it applies to them?
If the wonderful Christian is out to manipulate and exploit people, of course the gullible are expected to view then as wonderful saints.
That is exactly how cults and cult leaders gain the trust of the followers. They place themselves on a pedestal, and can do no wrong. Yet they are little more than wolves in sheep’s clothing.
The reason for the clear Biblical instructions to repent, and to understand all people fall short of the glory of God, is to prevent people from worshipping themselves, or another person, instead of worshipping God.
If we are prone to worshipping man, we can easily be deceived and fall into cult practices. We are also less likely to do any serious self examination.
There are certain people who call themselves Christians, who I knew, listened to, and observed for many years. Yet I did not once hear them say they needed to repent.
They would not even apologize for blatant lies, exploitation and wrongdoing, no matter what. They were elitist and untouchable. Some of them believed they were above all, above the law, and as pure as the driven snow.
It is true that our sins are forgiven, if we repent, and truly believe in Christ, what he did for us on the cross, and his death and resurrection. It is the central promise of the gospel.
We are not forgiven because we are wonderful Christians but rather, because we have acknowledged the fact we are not wonderful Christians.
We are forgiven because we have recognized and admitted our sins. If so, we have genuine remorse, will confess, repent, and change our ways.
Most of all – we will understand forgiveness is granted by the grace of God. It has nothing to do with any Christian being wonderful.
Even the most gifted among God’s people committed grievous sins. King David, King Solomon, and Noah were not without sin.
We live in a secular world, where even the mention of sin brings a haughty response. How dare anyone call wrongdoing a sin! Even if it is a premeditated, willful violation of the law, and morality – it is often denied, referred to as a mistake, or attributed to mental illness.
If we become ensnared in the concept of elitism, riches, pride, self exaltation, and worshipping wolves in sheep’s clothing, how far is that from falling into the trap of worshipping the beast?
The Bible is full of warnings about deception, false pride and arrogance.
As Christians we are blessed when we are humbled. It sounds like a contradiction, and is often a painful experience. However pride brings disgrace, and humility brings wisdom.
Some people go through their entire lives full of false Christian arrogance. But sooner or later, they too will be humbled.
We are not better than other people. We do not serve the will of man, especially those who are prone to false pride and exploitation. They are not superior.
No matter how exalted, how rich, how full of arrogance a person is, they are delusional if they think this makes them special. Even the most well known Christians in the Bible understood they were not better than other people. They did not go out and preach self glory. They glorified God.
Although we are thankful for the help and encouragement of other people in our lives, we do not worship them, or view them as infallible.
In fact we are grateful to God, and no one has the right to tell us who or what to be grateful for. We might be grateful to a stranger who helped us lift a heavy object, or treated us with respect.
We might be grateful to the author of a good book we read. We might be grateful that we have enough food to eat, or can take a hot bath. As we age, we are grateful for our health and independence.
No one has the right to tell us what to be grateful for. No one can give us orders to be grateful for the health and well being of our children, and grandchildren. True gratitude does not rely on the orders of someone else. To each their own, when it comes to gratitude.
Even God does not give us orders regarding what, and who to be grateful for. True gratitude belongs to God.
Gratitude, like humility – comes from the heart. Just as it is with all things the Bible says about false pride, arrogance, and deception, it also tells us that only Christ knows our hearts, and true intentions.
Gratitude is a good practice, and helps to keep us humble. We live by faith, and faith is also something to be grateful for, as it gives us assurance and peace.
Other people, no matter how self exalted or powerful they are, do not get to dictate what we are to be grateful for.
The notion or claims of wonderful Christians, combined with orders to be grateful for those wonderful Christians, comes from a place of pride and cultish deception.
For their sake, we can only hope they will eventually be humbled, and repent. They are setting themselves up for failure. They are lying. Fictitious, and so-called wonderful Christians, are not the path to salvation.
Jesus said in John 14″6 “I am the way, and the truth, and the life”.
If people deny the truth, they will lose their way. They should take truth seriously. Deception and pride is not from God.
I do not intend to sound cynical about all Christians. Just as I have known some who are deceptive, cruel, shunning, and full of themselves, I have also known others who are just the opposite.
They were kind, empathic, humble, accepting, giving, warm, and loving. They demonstrated their Christianity in the way they treated others, showing the fruits of the Spirit.
In fact the Bible tells us in Mathew 7:20 KJV “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”
Galatian 5:22 KJV “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith.”
As much as I wish I had been more discerning throughout my life, and quicker to repent myself – I am grateful for knowing people who do have the fruits of the Spirit.
One of them was a neighbour on the farm where I grew up. Another was an elderly woman named Elsie, who I met in White Rock thirty some years ago. They were both incredibly kind, accepting, and full of love. I will always hold those women, and many other kind people, near and dear to my heart.
The kind neighbour on the farm who lived nearby, had a tremendous influence on my life. I always found her to be gentle, caring, kind, and loving. I would beg to tag along on visits to her house, so I could talk to her, ask her questions about God, and play with the lambs they had on their farm.
I still clearly remember when I was around three years old, she told me God does not allow a sparrow to fall to the ground, and that He even knows the number of hairs on my head, so He will take care of me.
I was so amazed at what she told me, it stuck with me forever. I marvelled at little birds, and people with thick curly hair, and wondered how God could know so much. I would even try to touch people’s hair, just to see how thick it was. But by the time I started school, I soon found out, they would get annoyed, so I left their hair alone.
Even though we have come across some real gems in our lifetime, we should still be aware – the fruits of the Spirit, are from God, not the person. God calls us according to His purpose, not ours.
We all grow up in a world with both the wheat and the tares. We would be wise to figure out ahead of time, which of the two we choose to be.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.