Taking Care Of Our Mental Health

The trial of the nurse Lindsay Clancy is so tragic, it brings to light the importance of taking care of our mental health.

There are no easy answers as to how and why something like this could have happened. Three innocent children lost their lives in a most horrific way at the hands of someone they trusted most.

So many people seem to believe our mental health is out of our control, like there is some mysterious brain chemistry at work.

There is definitely neurochemistry, hormones, and many other things affecting our mental health. But we are not hapless victims driven by something we have no control over.

It is not like we can take our brain, our mind, our thoughts, and  emotions out of our bodies, take them to the local mechanic, and leave them there for a week. We cannot get the engine replaced, or even get a tune up. We cannot, and should not turn our mind over to any professional. 

We can get medication, and counselling. But those things are meant to assist a person over difficult times. There is no one that can fix our problems for us, whether they come from within, or from external circumstances. 

Mental health issues are often rooted in childhood experiences, or childhood trauma. No one knows the history of what an individual has experienced. Even the people within the same family have very different memories, experiences, and perspectives on what transpired.

Mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, fear, mood swings, and feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness can be overwhelming.

Given the fact that psychiatry and pharmaceuticals tend to be so harmful, we are best to do all we can to cultivate strength and mental clarity. But how can we do that?

First and foremost, avoid drugs and alcohol, including psychotropic medications if you can. These drugs create havoc in our systems in many ways. Look for natural ways to improve sleep, reduce stress, and improve dopamine levels.

Being free of drugs and alcohol goes a long way toward stabilizing mood, and bringing clarity of thought. I used to believe cannabis was harmless, but now I believe all drugs can be harmful.

If a person does not have an addictive personality, or unresolved past trauma, or a history of intergenerational addiction, they will be much safer having the occasional glass of wine, or cannabis.

But for those who are looking to any drug as a bandaid solution for anxiety, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationship stressors, etc. they are at risk of falling into a full blown addiction.

Addiction is riddled with not only mood swings, but deception, most of all self-deception. It is difficult to evaluate your own role in the struggles you are having, if you do not have clarity of mind, and a willingness to admit what you are doing wrong.

If there are no drugs, including prescription drugs clouding your outlook, that is half the battle at least.

The next step is to evaluate yourself, your relationships, and what it is that needs to change. You might need a different job. You might need to end certain relationships. You might need more rest, more exercise, or a better diet.

Once you can determine what you need to to, you can set reasonable goals with a good chance of success.

Not all people are meant to be rich and famous. We all need to discover for ourselves what keeps us stable, and brings peace of mind. Autonomy means we do not live our lives based on what other people think, and expect of us. We all have responsibilities, choices, and just one life to live. 

The physical body, the gut biome, the amount of exercise, stress, sleep, and our daily diet contributes to our mental well being. We need whole foods, lots of fibre, plenty of lean protein, and lots of water.

Our mental state, pertaining to our thoughts, also has to be disciplined. It does not mean we avoid setting boundaries that might be difficult to set. It does not mean we simply “think positive” or that there will be no suffering in our life. It does not mean we blot out, or deny the past. We have to find ways to come to terms with it. 

Gratitude is good medicine. If we have gratitude for being alive, for the food we eat, and for the roof over our heads, we will be happier. We can thank God for every single blessing, and for the well-being of our loved ones. We can thank God for the beauty of nature, for the fact we can walk, breathe, eat, and do things.

For those who do not believe in God, I really don’t know how to address that, other than to encourage you to seek God, and deeply examine your own spiritual beliefs. No one has the power to heal our hearts and minds like God does. Jesus is a great healer, and the words in the bible are all encompassing and comforting. 

Our thoughts and mind are closely connected to our spirit, emotions, and heart. These are the aspects of our mental health where all things, good and bad, are cultivated.

Be honest. Be truthful in all things. Nothing can ever be cleared up if it is steeped in lies. Denial is one of the most powerful defence mechanisms, yet it is weak when it comes to making long lasting changes. It is a stumbling block.

I believe we need to take responsibility for our own mental health. You cannot, and should not surrender your mind to someone else’s authority. It is a dangerous thing to do.

We constantly hear about mental health, and how so and so did not get the help they needed. Yet in almost all of those cases, the person was under psychiatric care. The man who drove through a crowd of people at a festival in Vancouver was on a day pass from a psych facility.

Lindsay Clancy was going to out patient treatment five days a week. She went to multiple doctors, and had been prescribed multiple psych meds. The issue is not that she did not get help. It is what the help did to exacerbate her symptoms. Or it could have been a stubborn refusal to accept help on her part. Some people thrive on the attention they get from being sick. 

It seems she was unwilling to take responsibility for her own mental health, and expected someone else to cure her. But no one truly knows what is going on inside someone else’s mind, marriage, or life.

Therefore – how can they cure her? No one really knows exactly how those psych meds work, and what kind of interactions are going on, when there are multiple medications involved.

Years ago when I was working as a nurse, and observed a variety of severe psych cases, one of the things I noticed, is that the more self-absorbed a person is, the worse it is for them. When self becomes the monument, self can become the destroyer of self.

Even if you look at it on a more superficial level. How many people have died taking selfies? How many Instagram and social media influencers died trying to get more likes, and more followers? How many times did someone portray constant gushing images of themselves, and their perfect family on social media, only to have it crumble in the most catastrophic ways?

Lindsay Clancy was keeping a record of her mental illness, every minute detail. Her anger, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and the multitude of meds she was on.

She was feeding the disorder, and hovered in the precarious place of control, versus loss of control, with a constant focus on her mental state. Did she really want to get well? Or was the churning darkness within her driving her decision making, long before the murders? Was she seeking an excuse for what she planned to do? 

Those are all questions for the jury, who are facing a profoundly complex situation to unravel. There is so much sympathy for Lindsay, and even more for her ex, and father of those poor children. There is profit motive on both of their parts, suing the medical professionals, and raising funds through donations. 

All people have bad days, no matter who you are. We all get tired and depressed at times, especially after having a baby, or doing shift work. We go though excruciating losses when a loved one dies. There is also grief when we face health challenges, have broken relationships, and/or lose the ability to do certain things we used to enjoy.

Some of our struggles are actually battles that need to be fought in order to get out of a trap. We cannot live a lie about who we are, and where we came from, without it having a tremendous adverse effect on our mental health. 

If we have to battle to get the truth exposed, it is well worth the effort. No one can label or define us based on lies. God ultimately will not allow it. We cannot under estimate the importance of truth. 

Sometimes people have to get free of toxic relationships, in order to heal. Controlling, or deceptive relationships are not rooted in love. They are based on manipulation and exploitation. 

I am not giving this advice, because I have always followed my own advice. Quite the contrary. In fact, I know it is only by the grace of God that sanity prevails in my own psyche.

It seems there is so much crime stemming from mental health struggles, to the extent we are making excuses for people who commit those crimes. It is especially so when it comes to crimes in families. Just two days ago in Michigan, a man killed his wife and six children. 

The information is sketchy at this point, but it is known the perpetrator was the husband and father. He had been having an affair with a much younger intern while at work, and in an executive position with the American Heart Association. 

He lost his job, although the reason for the job loss is not clear at this point. It was his wife who had posted Reddit comments about his affair/s.

He killed the entire family of children aged 5-15, his wife, set the house on fire, and then killed himself. All of the social media posts showed an attractive couple with six children, two of them adopted from China. It is ironic that an executive for the American Heart Association could be so heartless. 

We can learn from the mistakes of others. If someone tells you a road is washed out, or there are avalanche warnings, you will avoid those locations.

If you are prescribed any drug, you should research it carefully, monitor side effects, and evaluate whether or not you really need it. If the drug is an addictive drug in the class of opiates or benzodiazepines, be prepared for an avalanche down the road. 

When you see perfect looking families on social media, you can take it with a grain of salt. The image of perfection is almost always a false image. No one is perfect. The need to try and portray perfection is unhealthy. 

As believers, we are equipped with a sound mind, according to the bible. I have been reassured by the following verse many, many times.

2 Timothy 1:7