What Is The Difference Between Warning People & Judging People?

We are not supposed to judge people. There are countless verses in the Bible telling us not to judge, lest we be judged ourselves. Christ came to save sinners, not self-righteous people, who believe they can see all the sin around them, yet they themselves have no sin. Often it is the most religious people who are the most judgmental, and end up being the biggest hypocrites of all.

In fact, hypocrites use accusations to shame, degrade, and condemn other people. Many times, they use false accusations to constantly throw us off guard, and make us defensive. This is the kind of judgment to avoid.

However paradoxically, we are also called upon to warn people, especially as the end of the age draws near. What is the difference between judging and warning people? An example given in the book of John describes a woman who was caught in adultery, and was to be stoned, according to the laws of Moses. Christ told those who were prepared to stone her, to examine their own lives, and let the person who is without sin, cast the first stone.

Fortunately the people who were there, were then convicted of their own faults, and sins. Not one of them picked up a stone to stone her. Instead the crowd quietly dissipated.

It seems what happened in so many of these Biblical examples, Christ demonstrated mercy, forgiveness and grace. Each time the person is forgiven, but also admonished to sin no more. Right there, is the difference between judging and warning. Christ told the people who were there, not to judge her. But he also followed up by telling her to stop the affair, which was the warning he gave her.

There are also many verses clearly telling us to stop certain behaviours, as well as to warn others if they are doing something to imperil their own souls. Warning is not the same as judgment. We are not the judges. We all make a mess of things, especially if we are caught up in the various temptations in this world, such as money, affairs, addiction to drugs and alcohol, deceptions, selfishness, and cruelty.

These are all things we are called upon to overcome, and we all have enough on our plates, without judging others. The warning therefore, is about being careful not to view ourselves as being holier than anyone else.

Judgment implies superiority, which also indicates a spiritual haughtiness and pride. If we go to church on Sundays, dress nicely, appear to have our lives in order, drive a nice car, have good jobs, live in a nice house, and so on, it gives the appearance of having it all together. Therefore we must be blessed by God. But is it really so?

How many times do we read about Christian pastors having affairs? Or about someone who goes to church every Sunday, and demonstrates all the things we believe show true values, yet they hire a hit man, or use the church as a front to create a pretence for fraud and deceit. It is entirely possible that in business dealings or family life, they are cruel and deceptive, regardless of the outward appearances.

Years ago, I recall listening to a pastor give a sermon about drug addicts. His daughter was a street nurse, and had an accidental needle stick injury from an addicted person’s syringe. He used this incident as the central theme for his entire sermon. It was understandable why he might be upset over something like that, but his rage toward drug addicts was alarming and over the top.

After describing what had happened, he went on to rant and rave about the low life drug addicts. He had zero empathy for them. They deserved to die, and should be condemned for all eternity, for the harm they brought to innocent people. He was definitely casting stones, in his use of words and his attitude toward them, going so far as to call them the scum of the earth.

At the time, I started thinking about all the sick people, beggars, those with leprosy, and various others during Biblical times, who would have been scorned and judged in a similar way.

We have a juxtaposition now, in many towns and cities, where church parking lots, and foyers are used as places for the addicted and homeless to congregate at night. Then when Sunday service rolls around, they are chased away, and the congregation shows up in nice cars, all dressed up, for the Sunday church service.

In reality, all people are invited to church, and included in the hope presented in the Gospel. How many people  do manage to overcome drug and alcohol addiction? Countless people have gone down that path, and manage to quit, and find forgiveness and acceptance.

There is a fine line between enabling and disabling. Judgment is disabling. Allowing ourselves to be manipulated is enabling. So to find the balance, and simply warn people, without judgment, is the difficult part.

We cannot assume we know who will ultimately be condemned. Therefore, we can’t justify condemning anyone, regardless of what they look like, or even what they do.

The other day I watched a Dateline show about a dentist who murdered his wife while on an African safari. It was a true story describing the character of the dentist, who must have broken every single one of the ten commandments. He had multiple affairs, shot his wife of thirty four years point blank with a shotgun, lied to his grown children, tried to bribe the police in Africa, and then collected almost five million in insurance claims.

Prior to these events, he was warned. He sat on various different boards, and was called out on his bad reputation and nefarious activities. What did he do? Instead of heeding the warnings, he sued them, and won. After the murder of his wife, and collecting the insurance money, he moved into a big fancy house with his mistress.

It took several years of investigation, but he did finally get caught and convicted. His mistress is also facing something like fifteen years in prison for her role in obstruction of justice, perjury, etc. They both ended up shackled.

Even after his arrest, the mistress thought she was going to remain in the big house, and keep all the cash they had stashed away in a safe. But the dentist’s son took over his estate, and found a way to cut her off, and kick her out, even before she got arrested. Put it this way, the worst laid plans are likely to go awry. How anyone thinks they can get away with something like that, is truly mind boggling.

This is a classic illustration of the earthly consequences of refusing to listen to warnings, along with the horrific outcomes. He had a long time affair with his mistress. It is an oft repeated story of someone who was simply never satisfied. He had a net worth of twenty seven million dollars as it was. He was traipsing around with his mistress, and his wife, taking lavish trips, and leading a double life. His greed and duplicity was insatiable.

In addition, his wife did not heed the warning signs. She did not want to give up the lavish lifestyle either. Her friends said she loved her husband, but was well aware of his many affairs. Apparently. she told a friend she was going on the trip to Africa, as a last ditch attempt to save her marriage. Her marriage was over. He had planned the murder in advance. Sadly, no one was going to save her, let alone the marriage.

She even voiced to her friend, that she thought he might kill her. Why on earth would she go on the trip with him? She was also a big game hunter, and was very keen to shoot a leopard. Why anyone would want to shoot a leopard is beyond me. It became clear though, why he wanted to shoot his wife. He wanted the insurance money, and ended up collecting almost five million dollars.

I’m not sure if the husband got the death penalty or not, but he is in his sixties, and at the very least, will face the rest of his life in jail. His adult children are devastated, and until the evidence was put before them, flat out refused to believe he could do such a thing. But they too, knew about the mistress, and tried to ignore it, in spite of the workplace gossip, and obvious trysts.

This story is an extreme example of the refusal to accept warnings. One after another, they all turned a blind eye. In many cases, we cannot stop another person from doing what they are going to do. In some cases, it is none of our business.

But it does show us how a warning, or action on the part of those involved, might have prevented such a tragedy. One can only imagine what it must be like to be killed by your own spouse, in those final moments of realization, when all the denial is about to get blown apart.

It was not really up to the office managers, and those who worked in his dental offices, to try and stop what was developing. They would probably have been fired or sued, given the kind of character he was. The dentist himself set up the plot, and he is the one to be held responsible.

The mistress was culpable, especially by giving him an ultimatum to leave his wife. The wife had some responsibility by accepting and ignoring the affairs, in order to maintain the lifestyle. Even if she did love him, he clearly did not love her. The denial ended up leading to her own death. Maybe the friend she confided in could have warned her.

The warnings we are to give people who persist in wrongdoing, depends on the role we play in their lives, as well as the role they play in our lives. If we are part of a plot, even though we did not create the plot, we might avert disaster by confronting and warning those involved.

So the difference between warning and judging, is one of trying to prevent a disaster, or impending peril. Judging on the other hand, is the adamant belief the person will be condemned, because we can clearly see why he should be condemned. We do not know what will happen to him in the end though. He might repent of his sins, now that he is facing dire consequences. Who knows? Remorse is a blessing for those who truly comprehend the magnitude of what they have done.

Those who were aware of this unfolding disaster, might have been able to warn the dentist, the wife, or the mistress. In a Biblical sense, we are told to warn people of the impending disaster, if we see it coming.

In a similar way, we don’t judge the addict, and assume they are a low life. None of us are throwaways. I believe if we have a close friend or family member who is addicted, or involved in some other activity that imperils their life, or will lead them to hellfire and damnations, we should warn them.

We can let them know it is important to change, without condemning them. After all, our concern is for their life, their soul, and for the good. Averting tragedy is an act of love and courage. Judgment on the other hand, is like shutting the door on them after the fact.

If we warn people, we have done all we can. If we are doing something, and we are warned about it with sincerity and truth, we too, have an obligation to pay attention, and turn away from whatever it is we are doing.

No one is truly drug free, or free of sin, greed, lust, and all the other human pitfalls. We are simply navigating these various landmines. Through a process of redemption and grace, we begin to turn away from the things that might lead to destruction.

Things like fraud, affairs, deceptions, gambling, drugs, alcohol, etc. have a way of sucking us into bigger problems and plots. If we continue in the direction of increasing the wrongdoing, as opposed to acknowledging, apologizing, and turning away from them, they increase in magnitude, and can easily become catastrophic.

The best we can do, is warn people, and if done in good faith, heed warnings ourselves. That way, we are not as likely to end up with blood on our hands.

We are saved by grace. Otherwise none of us would make it out of this world, with any hope of forgiveness and salvation.