Why Are Some Christians So Arrogant? It Is Based On Self Deception

Of all things God hates the most, as listed in Proverbs 6: 17, the first two on the list are “a proud look, and a lying tongue”. Yet how many sermons do we hear about the topics of arrogance and lying?

It is not only Christians who become arrogant. It is human nature to have a cognitive bias in relation to how we view ourselves. In some cases, it is part of being successful, or having a purpose, or achievements – whatever they might be.

Life as we come to know it, is based on a variety of hierarchal structures. It begins in families, schools, churches, businesses, perceptions of beauty, levels of intelligence, political prowess, leadership, achievements in sports, and most of all – money. The image of wealth is the be all, and end all for many people. 

We need to have a certain amount of hierarchy, to help maintain order. Unfortunately along with hierarchy, there can be arrogance, dominance, and abuse of power, which can be very toxic. 

Outward appearances of success, is the reason why it is important for some rich men to have a trophy wife, often one who is thirty years younger than he is. It completes the image of success, as society might define it.

So we are accustomed to judging people, not only for moral reasons, but primarily for whatever image they are able to present.

Usually we do not know the full truth underlying another person’s outward image. We often don’t know their business practices, or how they treat others, or how they got their wealth. We don’t know about the underlying addictions, the extent of their greed, or how many affairs a person has had, how much they manipulate outcomes, or what their true motives are.

That is probably why the Bible tells us not to judge others. It tells us Christ will judge because only He knows the hearts and minds of people. We don’t. It is also why we are told to forgive, because most of us don’t even have a true concept of our own fallibilities.

We have an error-prone tendency to see the faults of others through a microscope, but we see our own faults through a telescope with a dirty scratched up lens.

Before you can achieve anything, you first have to believe you can do it. But there is a difference between a quiet confidence, and arrogance. Arrogance is rooted not only in self deception, but also in insecurity. It is a brittle way of putting on an exterior of superiority or invincibility, in order to protect the more fragile inner self.

I will readily admit being guilty of self-deception, stupidity, and at times empty-headed arrogance, throughout my life.

Part of it stemmed from religious indoctrination by a high school teacher, who held me captive for hours upon hours telling me I was special. Even more bizarre, he repeatedly claimed I was – “his special gift from God”.

This was a man, who claimed to be a Christian, yet he was arrogant, and deceptive to the core. It took me years to admit to myself that he was a pathological liar. I actually thought for many years, if I did not see him as wonderful, there must be something seriously wrong with me. I was indoctrinated with extremism and religious falsehoods, without fully realizing it. 

Even though I irrationally believed I had put up a barrier to all the brainwashing and lies, I still absorbed more of it than I cared to admit. It is the reason our hearts, minds and spirits should never be subjected to master manipulators, and sophisticated brainwashing techniques. It is like getting grabbed by a crocodile, and every time you get a breath, it drags you under again. 

Brainwashing or thought reform is extremely abusive, and at the time, I had no idea it is a systemic breaking down of all boundaries, barriers, and self preservation. The abuse targets your mind, emotions and spirit.

When a wolf in sheep’s clothing fixates on his prey, it becomes a soul-destroying endeavour. You are up against an apex predator, and like a weak young animal separated from the flock, you do not stand much of a chance. 

The same lies are drilled into your psyche – repeated over and over, when you are exhausted and traumatized. It leads to a lifetime of destructive escapism, in an attempt to break free of the snare. 

Few people realize that forcible religious indoctrination with deception, and false claims – is profoundly abusive. It swings erratically from shaming, to being made special. Of course the shaming is tied to any defiance, or refusal to accept the lies, and being special is tied to accepting those lies.

Telling a child they are special, is not doing anything for their self-esteem. It robs them of a healthy, balanced, and realistic outlook. It makes them feel they must conform to some kind of ideal image, in order to be acceptable. Being special is nothing but a deceptive burden. It is also an angle that is commonly used by those who exploit children.

Young people are especially vulnerable to identity assault, and mind control by those who abuse power, when they are teenagers. The teen years are a very important, and challenging developmental time frame.

It is a crucial period of time, as we establish our identity, come to terms with family of origin, develop independence, and make important, and directional life choices, like choosing a career. He robbed me of all those things. 

Adult men in positions of power, who exploit children and teenagers, will not escape God’s wrath. It is probably the only consolation in the whole ordeal.

On one side of the psychological and spiritual abuse coin is shame, degradation and insults. Yet the other side of the coin is even worse, as it contains a fake image of being the “special” possession, or a shiny object, sought out or pursued by another person, for their own gain, not ours. 

It is not that I don’t take responsibility for my own development, and outlook. But in hindsight, I can see some of the main contributors to my own self-deception.

I can also see how the emotional, spiritual, and psychological attacks led to defensiveness. I used accomplishments to try and defend myself. It is a feeble attempt to use achievements, as a means of defending our basic rights.

Eventually I realized I should not have to defend myself by drawing attention to achievements, because our basic and inalienable human rights are not tied to achievements. Neither is our God given free will, or the right to be a member of our own family. Just like we do not earn salvation, we cannot earn basic human rights either. 

Underneath it all, I did not lose sight of being the lowest in the pecking order, so the arrogance was not deep rooted or intrinsic to my personality. But nevertheless, I can think of many episodes of being a smart-ass, as well as becoming defensive when under attack. 

Repentance and remorse humbles us, which is a blessing, because otherwise our foolish hearts become delusional, darkened, and hardened. We really do not have much self awareness or insight, until we do repent. Then it is most difficult to forgive ourselves, because there is nothing short of what Christ did on the cross, that can forgive the things we cannot change.

The entire process of repentance is not only about all the awful things we have done, but it is also about harbouring anger, and fear. Both of these mindsets make it more difficult to forgive. 

If there is a background of trauma or abuse, letting go of anger, and overcoming fear is something we have to deal with, or else we become perpetually anxious, or hardened and bitter. We are not supposed to have a spirit of fear, as it represents a lack of faith, and a basic cowardice. Fear can crowd out everything else, if we do not find a way to overcome it. 

One of the reasons it is so common for Christians to become self-righteous, arrogant, and judgemental, is because we are often indoctrinated with falsehoods. Part of the indoctrination includes being special, maintaining outward appearances, being chosen by God, righteous, etc.

Another part of it stems from morality, and the need to discern right from wrong. We tend to think if we can recognize what is right or wrong, then it makes us morally superior. We don’t have to compare ourselves to anyone else. Discernment is for our own guidance and edification. 

It goes right back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When they chose to eat the forbidden fruit, the fruit they ate was from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Once humankind made the decision, we are left with a knowledge of good and evil – yet we really do not have the full capacity to separate the two. That is probably why God told them not to eat of that particular fruit.

Even in prisons, there is a pecking order and dominance based on the self-righteous judgment of the lesser human beings. A gang murderer is not as bad as a child killer. A drug dealer is not as bad as wife beater. And probably the lowest of the low – is the snitch.

Other than to turn away from evil, surely we can see that our judgement is quite futile.

Pride is part of deception. We are deceived by outward appearances. We cannot take the blinders off, until we repent. The most basic messages in the Bible, tell us over and over – to repent. We all  fall short of the glory of God.

When we repent, we receive God’s forgiveness and mercy. We are brought to repentance through His grace. To be humble is a sign of His wisdom, not ours. Even the verses we read telling us Christians are chosen, or called according to God’s purpose – is not based on our own merit. 

There are so many things beyond our earthly comprehension. We are given certain gifts, and many blessings. Every sunrise, every flower, every good thing, and every breath we take – is part of God’s blessing.

We really have nothing to be proud of. But we do have the full expanse of God’s kingdom, and plans – to be grateful for. Without God, we most definitely would not even be here. Without Jesus, we would not have salvation, or forgiveness. We would all be doomed.

Pride is not sustainable. The Bible tells us in many places, and in no uncertain terms – the proud will be brought down. There is no Biblical justification for pride.

There is no superiority in being a Christian. It is based on servitude, which is the opposite of superiority.

Salvation is a gift, and we are to accept the gift with gratitude, faith and worship. We did not earn our salvation. We cannot save ourselves. 

For Christians who think they do not have to repent, or who see themselves as vastly superior – it is only based on self-deception, indoctrination, and insecurity. Arrogance presents a false self.

Many modern day preachers are quite arrogant. A significant amount of false teaching, gives the impression of deserving prosperity, material blessings, and being the chosen ones.

Truthfully, in addition to repenting, we are instructed to persevere through all things that come our way. We are told to expect tribulation, and rejection, and to overcome adversity. 

We are told to turn away from all the things God tells us to turn away from. Doing so, is not arrogance. It is the avoidance of evil influences and temptations, including our own inclination toward evil.

We are to be thankful, because we can trust God. We are to be patient, because we know His word, and promises will be fulfilled.

We are to seek love, and truth. God is love. And ultimately love prevails, and will overcome all things. 

Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.